Posts Tagged ‘retaliation for reporting’
Circular Reasoning – 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover (with your kids)
A Quick Post (not mine, except intro & comments)
summarizing the situation fairly well:
On reading this post, pretty accurate, I thought of “50 ways to leave your lover,” by (if you don’t know this, you probably were born after the VAWA act passed the first time) Simon & Garfunkel.
Which I’d like to rededicate to women attempting to do so, once they realize what “love” is and is not. Switch the gender, the song applies; and act on it sooner, rather than later. I guess — pray, carry Mace, and suggest you also enroll in law school ASAP, you’ll need it…
she said it’s really not my habit to intrude
furtermore i hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued
but i’ll repeat my self, at the risk of being crude
there must be 50 ways to leave your loverchorus:
just slip out the back, Jack
make a new plan, Stan
don’t need to be coy, Roy
just get yourself free
hop on the bus, Gus
don’t need to discuss much
just drop off the key, Lee
and get yourself free.she said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
i wish there was something i could do to make you smile again
i said, i appreciate that,
and would you please explain about the 50 ways.she said, why don’t we both just sleep on it tonight
and i believe that in the morning you’ll begin to see the light
and then she kissed me and i realized she probably was right
there must be 50 ways to leave your lover
50 ways to leave your lover…chorus
If children are involved, realize that Big Brother has a different plan for them, and you, as well. See below:
[[my comments in brackets, otherwise it’s quote. Quote ends at the line of ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]’s..]]
Note: Cross posted from Battered Mothers Rights – A Human Rights Issue.
Randi James is a brilliant writer- her site is replete with information from the top to bottom -thx you Randi James! http://www.randijames.com/
Between a Rock and a Hard Place: The System Sends Mixed Messages to Abuse Victims
Do you stay, or do you leave?
If you haven’t been a victim of abuse, or a victim of the legal system, you may not be able to understand why this is even posed as a question.
Of course you should leave!
I mean, who deserves to get beat up and/or sexually assaulted in their own home…regularly…or even occasionally. Even as careful as you could try to be to make sure everything is perfect, so as not to anger your abuser, SOMETHING always sets him off…sooner or later. He is a time bomb. You are his target.
What does it mean to be a target?
When you are a target, all of your abuser’s anger is directed toward you, specifically. Typically, he doesn’t pull the same shit towards those who he considers his equals, or more powerful than he. This is about power. He needs you like capitalism needs slaves. He uses you so that he can feel better about his shortcomings. He doesn’t know how to feel good without you.
But he is a good father. He doesn’t beat the kids.
You’re right. Good fathers don’t beat their kids…But nor do they beat up on women to whom they are temporarily, or permanently committed. Getting beat in front of your children doesn’t exactly send the kids a good message. In fact, they are put in limbo because your kids will either
A) Side with your abuser because he is more powerful and gets what he wants, or
B) Side with you in attempt to protect you…But let me break that down a little more
1) In protecting you, your children become targets, and the moment will come when they take blows for you
2) In choosing to side with you or not, your children will mimic the behaviors they have seen and normalize them.
Is this what you want?
I hope not because if some outsider reports what is going on in your household, CPS will come knocking and your kids may be gone before you ever get a chance to ask questions. You will be charged with neglect, endangering your children, or failure to protect.
Why?
Because everyone on the outside thinks you should have just left. You are themother. If you didn’t leave, you must be an accessory to the abuse.
What mother allows her children to get abused?
And what mother lets her children watch as she gets abused?
You must be a bad mother. You don’t deserve to have children. If you’re lucky, maybe your relatives will do you a favor and step in and raise your children for you. If not, foster care will do a great job…because it is indeed a job when they are getting paid.
Maybe you have a chance though, if you would just leave.
That seems like the best idea. Leave.
Wait!
Are you going to tell your abuser in advance, or are you going to sneak out in the middle of the night?
Remember, he needs you…is he going to agree to all of this?
Who the fuck do you think you are leaving him, and taking his children?
He owns you. He’s paying the bills. He’s the reason you can stay home and take care of his children.
[[Comment: Not all the time. Wasn’t true in my case… Many times they are financially dependent on you as well…]]
If you go, you have reason to be fearful. Get a lawyer and a restraining order. But, back up a little. The lawyer says, if you take out a restraining order, in the near future, the judge in family court could use it against you. He (the judge and your abuser) may say this was part of your vindictive scheme to get the kids and the money and the house and the car. Restraining orders don’t prevent you from being harmed though anyway, because you still have to rely on law enforcement to act.
Get the restraining order anyway.
You’ll have record of what you tried to do, in case the news opts to report it upon your “tragic” death. But you can’t put the kids on the restraining order…Silly woman! You know fathers have rights!
In fact they have so many rights that if your abuser happens to get locked up, Responsible Fatherhood money will ensure that he has the means to transition back into his caretaking, father-role (don’t roll your eyes, we know you were doing the caretaking, but you’re not important and this is politics).
Go ahead and report the entire history of abuse.
You do have pictures, right? You mean to tell me in all these years that you have been getting assaulted, you weren’t taking pictures of your injuries and saving them in a secret location?
Did you at least tell the doctor? Is there anything in your medical record?
Where are your vaginal tears, bruises, scars?
In talking to police without evidence (or with it), your case will seem suspicious. It will be your word, against your abuser’s. Your local DA will be hesitant to take the case…well, hesitant is an overstatement because he may not even acknowledge you. DA’s only take cases they can win. DA’s aren’t interested in intrafamilial abuse reports in the midst of divorce…
[[No matter what the local DA’s office website declares, it’s often true.]]
You have bad timing. You should have reported this before you were trying to separate. Oh, whoops, I forgot, they would have charged you, too!
Maybe you can work things out peacefully without involving the court.
[[Yeah, that’s the general philosophy behind sending such cases, involving kids, to mediation… Just “work it out.”]]
When was the last time you worked things out “peacefully” with an abuser?
In good conscience, you allow your abuser to continue to have a relationship with the children he didn’t abuse, well, directly abuse (or at least you think so). I don’t know if you are really doing him a favor, or rather doing as the court would order you to do so, because you do know that the court will order you to do it, right (askMs. Leichtenberg and also ask the Paul family…family, because Monica Paul happens to be deceased)? Father’s rights.
I know, I know. Yes, you have been abused, but now, yes, yes, you will be court ordered to continue to have a relationship with your abuser because kids deserve both parents. If you try to resist, they will call in the child custody evaluators and Guardians ad Litem and they will say things you would never imagine…because you ARE crazy, aren’t you?
What mother would keep a father away from his children?
[[I didn’t, because doing so would’ve been to violate a standing custody order, ordering visitation. Consequence? I lost contact with my kids. To this date! He continued to violate without impunity thereafter.]]
You know your abuser best.
[[Yeah, right. Everyone knows that only the ‘experts’ know what they’re talking about when it comes to abuse. ‘Experts” prefer to talk with each other in their language, out of the earshot of the traumatized folk. It’s cleaner and less personally disturbing/challenging. People suffering PTSD often skip around in chronology, speak or write associatively, and can ge derailed on particularly frightening topics. It takes a lot to overcome that. . . . . . . So, in one sense, this is understandable, because after long enough living with “lethality assessments” and threats, after actual physical assualts and the very high stakes of child custody, plus retaliation for reporting, some women can sound more garbled than they really are. In reality to even stay alive, or emotionally somewhat intact, through significant abuse, esp. years of it, takes keeping track of more things that the average middle manager can, I’d be, in a rapidly changing economy. We have literal lives at stake, let alone livelihoods. Let alone the normal multi-tasking that often goes with being a mother, let alone a working mother with small kids who are growing up watching your abuse. We also are highly motivated to stay alive, knowing that if we don’t who is likely to get custody of our offspring — either the abuser, or someone who enabled it, such as a close, nonreporting, non-intervening relative. Or CPS, for which money changes hands…]]
You know that when he makes threats, he can carry them through. You know if you don’t meet his demands, you and your children will suffer. But if you try to protect yourself and the children, you risk losing custody to your abuser. And why would you want to put your kids in that situation? They don’t want to live with him and if they do live with him, you already know how their lives will turn out. They will be like lost souls.
Sacrifice yourself…like Jesus Christ. Maybe you were put on earth to suffer for the sins of others.
You were supposed to be omniscient–to know that this man you chose would end up being an abuser.
You were supposed to be omnipresent–to know that this man would abuse your children while you were away at work, or school, or while he was away with the kids.
You were supposed to be omnipotent–to protect yourself and your children and to be able to hide and simultaneously remain visible, and to be able to leave your abuser, but let him remain in your life.
How do you want to die?
[[Seems to me I blogged on this long ago — title about unacceptable choices for women.]]
What do you want the news to say about you when you are murdered?
That you were nice? No, they won’t say that! The neighbors and other members of the community will say how nice your abuser was. He was a family man. He played with the kids in the yard.
Everyone will be so shocked and sad that this happened. No one knew that you and your children were getting your asses kicked on a regular.
Your family may’ve thought you were crazy, or a bad mom, so they may’ve distanced themselves from you a long time ago. In fact, they may have ADORED your abuser.
Your children’s friends will not come forward. They are children–either they won’t tell anyway, or their parents won’t let them.
You know who else might know? The teachers. But teachers are so busy disciplining and teaching to the test…and besides, it’s too late for them to come forward now.
You see what you get for pretending and ignoring and trying to keep the family together? No credit.
Maybe the media will pull your court record and note that you tried to get a restraining order, but you didn’t show up. More than likely, they will relay gossip about how you were having an affair and how you were always provoking your abuser. Because violence is mutual. Girls hit, too.
Didn’t you know in advance that he was easily provoked? You should have checked his criminal record, or asked his ex.
Maybe your children will die, too. But everyone will talk about how tragic it was andhow innocent they are. They, not you, because you had to have done something to make a nice guy want to kill you.
Or maybe you wanted to be killed, because who stays with an abuser anyway?
See Also: Carl Brizzi: Prosecuting Battered Women
Minnesota Supreme Court Allows Judge Timothy Blakely to Profit from His Fraudulent Earnings
In Texas and Florida–Court Ordered Exortion
Pennsylvania, Corruption, and Children, Just Like Florida
How Judges Set Up A System to Rig Cases for Fathers
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Note: Cross posted from Battered Mothers Rights – A Human Rights Issue.
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http://www.nbc-2.com/Global/story.asp?S=10697462
Joseph and Melissa Shook had been separated and a final mediation hearing for their divorce was scheduled for the 26th – two days after her disappearance.
Meanwhile, her van was located at the Alva residence, allegedly abandoned with the keys in the ashtray.
The case was then turned over to detectives with the Lee County Sheriff’s Office Major Crimes Unit.
Air, K-9 and ground searches were coordinated with family and friends in attempts to locate Melissa over the following . . .[fill in the details… they tend to blur, one family after another…]
On July 29, Shook’s body was found in a shallow grave, just four blocks from the Fitch Avenue residence.
Her hands were tied behind her back with approximately 10 feet of rope and her mouth was covered in duct tape.
AND, obviously:
Wednesday, a local hardware store employee was contacted and verified the sale of a red handled shovel and approximately ten feet of rope.
Thursday, an employee positively identified Joseph Shook as the person who purchased the items.
Around 6:00 p.m. on Thursday, 32-year-old Joseph Shook was located at local restaurant and taken into custody.
He has been charged with second degree murder.
Thursday evening Amy Davies, spokeswoman for Melissa Shook’s family said, “The family is relieved an arrest has been made, that justice has been served, and the family now has some closure.”
Davies said now the family’s main concentration is providing care for Shook’s three children.
Her parents knew something was funky about those text messages declaring she was going to break up with a boyfriend. Her coworker heard her ask who wanted some lunch brought back, after dropping off child(ren) to the father….
On Wednesday, Melissa Shook’s mother took the stand to talk about texts message she received, supposedly from her daughter, the day she disappeared.
One said she and her boyfriend, Justin Castagner, were through.
Smith thought that was odd since she’d spoken to Melissa just a few hours earlier and there was no mention of any problems.
Castagner testified Tuesday that the couple had made plans for that night and she left him a note in his lunchbox that said, “I love you.”
Melissa’s father, Gary Esckilsen, also testified Melissa was happy with Castagner.
Melissa’s parents said she had a strong relationship with Castagner and texts saying she was going somewhere to get herself help didn’t make sense. They knew something was wrong.
A co-worker of Melissa Shook testified as well, saying he got a call from her when she was on her way to drop the baby off at Joe Shook’s home.
He said she asked if anyone in the office wanted her to bring back lunch – and never heard from her again.
Just to reiterate my point: Mediation, frequent exchanges ordered. Was there prior domestic violence? WHY did she leave? Was the risk known? Should ALL women separating — not just ones experiencing abuse as the reason for separation — be afraid?
Or, should they learn to be cautious, period, and should the family law venue stop advising them to “just get along” for the sake of the kids, without regard to this possibility…
Was money a factor? Who knows…:
……..
Police say emotional distress led man to kill estranged wife
Mother’s death, impending divorce, lack of medication are factors in Lakemore killing
By Phil Trexler
Beacon Journal staff writer
Published on Saturday, Jan 10, 2009
LAKEMORE: His mother had died unexpectedly, he avoided the pills that helped combat his depression, and just this week, his wife left him.
Daniel Tice’s emotions boiled over Thursday afternoon when his wife, Brandi, came to pick up their three children, a day after announcing her intention to divorce.
Brandi Tice, 28, would never leave the Lakemore house. She died of a single gunshot wound to the head — a rifle shot that police say was fired by her estranged husband.
About seven hours later, after keeping SWAT officers at bay with his 4-year-old son by his side, Daniel Tice was shot by police, struck by a 9 mm bullet that miraculously bounced off his forehead, sparing his life.
Tice, 32, was to undergo surgery Friday for a fractured skull. He is expected to recover and be charged with murder.
Daniel Tice admitted in conversations to family, friends and police that he killed his wife of eight years, shooting her once in the head with a .22-caliber rifle, police said.
He blamed infidelity and divorce.
”[Brandi Tice] told me before she
was wanting to leave him and I said be careful because of his mom dying, [Daniel] was bomb,” family friend Janice Wood told police in a taped call. ”I was afraid something would happen.’
Wood, a close friend of Tice’s late mother Diana, told police that Daniel Tice called her after the shooting. Around the same time, police were surrounding his home.
”He said he killed his wife,” Wood said. ”He thought everybody was against him or hated him . . . he said, ‘I’m not coming out [of the house]. They’re going to have to kill me.’ ”
Daniel Tice made a series of phone calls that afternoon, including one to a sister who came to the Tices’ ranch-style home on Martha Avenue shortly after 3 p.m., saw Brandi Tice’s body on the living room floor and fled outside.
Tice’s brother-in-law struggled for the rifle outside the home, but the towering Daniel Tice won out, and retreated back inside.
At one point, Tice stood guard by a window with his rifle in one hand and his son, Noah, in the other, police said.
Shortly afterward, Tice’s daughters, Faith, 8, and Grace, 7, exited their school bus and were met by police, who rushed the girls away before they could go inside their home.
Stressful standoff
For the next seven-plus hours, police took over Martha Avenue, trying to coax Tice into surrendering and hoping to avoid more bloodshed. Lakemore Mayor Michael Kolomichuk gave the order to use deadly force on Daniel Tice, if necessary.
A small army of SWAT officers, talking by phone to Tice, crept closer over several hours — from the street, to the front door, to the living room and eventually to the basement stairs, where Tice paced below with his son.
The silence was sometimes unnerving to police, who feared little Noah was dead. As the night dragged, they hadn’t heard from the child and Tice was talking to police in past tense about how much he loved his son.
”We were worried that he had done something to Noah because he wouldn’t let us talk to the child,” Police Chief Kenneth Ray said.
Police eventually disconnected a land line into the Tice home and with the help of prosecutors, they cut off Tice’s cell phone. Negotiators then moved inside the house to bring Tice a cell phone.
By then, Tice had moved to the cover of the basement, at times hiding under the staircase. Metro SWAT members tossed a miniature camera to the basement, which gave them insights into Tice’s location.
Around 10:40 p.m., SWAT snipers from the top of the steps could see Tice and his rifle leaning against a wall out of reach. They fired two nonlethal bean bags, hoping to knock him to the floor. The bean bags didn’t faze Tice, who then made a move for his rifle, police said.
A sniper tried to fire his AR-15 assault rifle, but the trigger jammed. A second SWAT sniper twice fired his MP5 assault rifle. One shot missed; another struck Tice’s forehead, penetrating to the bone and bouncing off.
Suspect interviewed
Police interviewed Daniel Tice at Akron City Hospital shortly after he was shot.
”He confessed, that’s all he did,” Chief Ray said. ”He didn’t give a reason. He just said he did it.”
Noah was reunited with his sisters. The children are staying with Brandi Tice’s mother, Sandra Fox, 53, in Green.
”She was a good mother, she loved her kids so much,” said Brandi Tice’s uncle, Randy Renard.
The Tices spent Christmas with Renard and other family members at Sandra Fox’s home. The get-together came four days after Daniel Tice’s mother died.
Daniel Tice, who family said suffers from bipolar disorder, said little on Christmas Day. Family and police said Tice stopped taking his medication, which contributed to his erratic behavior.
”They brought the kids over for Christmas and I already heard what he was going through with his mother,” Renard said. ”He come over and he didn’t talk for four hours. He just sat in the chair with a stare.”
On Wednesday, Brandi Tice told her husband she wanted a divorce and was taking the children, Renard said. Police said the couple had a history of domestic squabbles, some of which ended with Daniel Tice’s arrest.
Daniel Tice also told friends that his wife was carrying on an affair with one of his relatives. The couple married in 2000.
On Thursday afternoon, Brandi Tice arrived at the Martha Avenue home, planning to take her daughters with her as they exited their school bus.
Brandi Tice worked the past four years with Community Caregivers, a Hartville home health care provider. She visited three or four patients every day, helping them with health needs.
Terry Smith, the company’s director, said Brandi Tice grew close with her patients, whom she would visit for more than two hours a day, passing the time sharing stories and proudly showing pictures of her children.
She hoped one day to be a nurse to better provide for her family, he said. The company has set up a fund at all Huntington bank branches to help the Tice children.
”Brandi was somebody who had been through some bumps in the road, some hard knocks,” Smith said. ”Yet she was someone who gave so much even though she had so little herself.”
Phil Trexler can be reached at 330-996-3717 or ptrexler@thebeaconjournal.com.
LAKEMORE: His mother had died unexpectedly, he avoided the pills that helped combat his depression, and just this week, his wife left him.
Daniel Tice’s emotions boiled over Thursday afternoon when his wife, Brandi, came to pick up their three children, a day after announcing her intention to divorce.
Brandi Tice, 28, would never leave the Lakemore house. She died of a single gunshot wound to the head ? a rifle shot that police say was fired by her estranged husband.
About seven (Akron Beacon Journal (OH), 1079 words.)
June 2009 — Autenreith – Pennsylvania:
Police rescued a 9-year-old boy who had been kidnapped by his father as a fatal gun battle broke out between the man and state troopers.
After arguing with his estranged wife during a custody exchange, Daniel Autenrieth kidnapped his son at gunpoint, then led police on a 40-mile high-speed chase that ended with a crash and an exchange of gunfire, state police commissioner Col. Frank Pawlowski said. Autenrieth and a state trooper were killed.
“I can’t begin to describe the hurt and sorrow being experienced by the Pennsylvania state police,” Pawlowski told a somber news conference at the Swiftwater barracks, the trooper’s home base. “What happened yesterday is nothing short of an American tragedy.”
September, 2009 (Labor Day) Minnesota:
Minn. officer reportedly killed with own gun (see video)
Holidays — family times for some — can be trouble hotspots for others.
Veteran North St. Paul police officer Richard Crittenden apparently was shot dead with his own gun during a violent struggle with a man who lunged at his estranged wife and the slain officer with a burning towel or rag.
“He died saving someone else,” said a law enforcement source of Crittenden. The source, familiar with the ongoing investigation, offered the first detailed description of Monday morning’s chaotic scene.
Crittenden reportedly pushed the woman out of harm’s way but in the process left himself vulnerable for the man to ambush him, grab his handgun and shoot him, the source said.
A Maplewood police officer was slightly wounded but shot the suspect dead during an exchange of gunfire moments later inside the North St. Paul apartment in the 2200 block of Skillman Avenue.
The scenario, based on preliminary witness accounts from the injured female officer and the estranged wife, remains to be confirmed and is the subject of an investigation by the Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension.
But the setting pieced together so far by investigative sources shed light on the likely circumstances that led to the first shooting death of a police officer in the line of duty in North St. Paul’s 122-year history.
Investigators on Tuesday released little official information about the details surrounding the Labor Day shootings — including the names of the injured officer and slain suspect, who was identified by his estranged wife as Devon Dockery.
But reams of court papers released Tuesday on Dockery’s numerous run-ins with the law show a violent and troubled man.
“Devon is a ticking time bomb ready to explode,” his estranged wife, Stacey Terry, wrote in filing for one of four orders of protection against him.
What would she know? Is she an “expert”?? However, she got those protection orders. . . . . .
October 23, 2009 Atlanta, Georgia, Strube-Allen:
(Isn’t this DV awareness month?)
Child of woman killed at Target in custody battle
Mother-in Law charged!
In April, a toddler sat in the backseat as someone shot and killed his mother, Heather Allen Strube. She had just gotten him from her estranged husband, his father, and hadn’t buckled her child into his car seat yet.
Moments after Steven Strube left the Target parking lot on Scene Highway, his estranged wife was approached by a person wearing a black wig that looked like a mop. As Heather tried to get into her SUV, the disguised person shot her. Investigators found Carson holding his mother’s cellphone. His mom turned 25 years old just six days before her death on April 26.
Carson, who turned 2-years-old last month, has been in the care of Heather’s parents — Buddy and Mary Allen.

Little Carson Luke Strube is now thriving in the care of his maternal grandparents. But his other grandmother, Joanna Renea Hayes, was charged this week with killing his mother, her daughter-in-law.
Hayes in jail facing charges of malice murder, felony murder, aggravated assault and possession of a firearm during the commission of a felony. Carson’s father, Steven Strube, is also in jail, following a probation violation from a 2008 conviction (for what??)
Hayes is now behind bars following her murder indictment on Wednesday. Police believe she is the one who donned a disguise and killed her daughter-in-law.
Sometimes it turns into a virtual tribal warfare, with in-laws and relatives involved….
November 30, 2009 (this one, barely cold…), New Jersey:
Police Search For Motive In Fatal N.J. Shooting
Paterson Father Allegedly Shot Estranged Wife, 2 Children
PATERSON, N.J. (CBS) ―Police are still trying to figure out what triggered Edelmiro Gonzalez to go on a shooting spree, killing his seven-year-old son, and injuring his wife and other son. They are recovering at St. Joseph’s hospital.
- Related Stories
- 2 Dead, 2 Wounded When NJ Dad Shoots His Family
(11/29/2009)Police were looking for a motive Sunday in a triple shooting that left one boy dead, and his mother and brother fighting for their lives.
Detectives in Paterson said Edelmiro Gonzalez opened fire Saturday morning on his estranged wife and two young children.
“I don’t know how anybody could do something like that,” said resident Angie Rolon.Investigators said 31-year old Johanna Gonzalez, who had been separated from her husband since September and had a restraining order against him, was in the process of dropping off their two sons at her mother’s apartment on Broadway. That’s when the 54-year-old father allegedly walked up to their vehicle, armed with two handguns.
“Her estranged husband came up to the vehicle, shot several times into the vehicle, at which time her two sons, Adrian and Eldryn exited the vehicle,” said Det Lt. Ray Humphrey.
Police said
Gonzalez actually then chased down his 7-year old son and shot him in the neck near the rear of the apartment building.The boy was pronounced dead at the scene.However, the ordeal didn’t end there. Police said Gonzalez went back to the street and chased down his estranged wife. That’s when off-duty Paterson Detective Lt. Washington Griffen, a 19-year veteran who was at a nearby McDonald’s drive-through with his son saw what was happening and intervened.“He hollered out to the suspect, advised him he was a police officer, and to drop the weapon. There was an exchange of gunfire, and the suspect was shot twice,” Humphrey said.
Edelmiro Gonzalez died later at an area hospital. His elder son Edryn and the child’s mother Johanna remained in critical condition.
Gunman kills estranged wife at Tualatin lab, injures two, kills self
By Bill Oram, The Oregonian
November 10, 2009, 8:49PM
TUALATIN — By late afternoon Tuesday, a lone state trooper guarded the front of a drug-testing clinic where a man with a rifle opened fire, killing his estranged wife and injuring two of her co-workers.
The gunman fired multiple shots inside Legacy MetroLab-Tualatin shortly before noon, said Tualatin Police Chief Kent Barker.The shooter was found dead at the scene, apparently of a self-inflicted gunshot wound, Barker said.
The dead woman was identified as Teresa Beiser, 36, of Gladstone.
A week ago, she filed for divorce from her husband of 15 years, Robert Beiser, 39, who worked as a car appraiser for Property Damage Appraisers in Lake Oswego and as an independent contractor for The Oregonian.
They had two children, a 14-year-old daughter and an 11-year-old son.
Hans Reiser Admits to Murdering Nina Reiser, Pleads to Reduced Murder Sentence
Full story: Associated Content
Hans Reiser was sentenced to 15-years-to-life Friday in an Oakland, California, courtroom for the murder of Nina Reiser. Many believe that the sentence was too lenient, that prosecutors should have given Reiser more time on his sentence. Besides, Hans Reiser was convicted in April — andconvicted without the body of Nine Reiser. But Hans Reiser, a brilliant Linux guru, had held onto one piece of information about Nine Reiser throughout his trial, a trial throughout which he maintained his innocence. Hans Reiser knew where Nina Reiser was buried.According to Wired, Hans Reiser led authorities to Nine Reiser’s body Monday in exchange for his prison sentence being reduced from a 25-years-to-life charge to 15-years-to-life charge. Prosecutors offered him the deal with the added stipulation that he waived his right to appeal the conviction. He had buried his wife just a short way from the house where he lived with his mother.
According to his confession, which was part of the plea deal, Hans Reiser killed his wife, Nina, on the afternoon of September 3, 2006. She had dropped off the couple’s two children for the Labor Day weekend. The two were going through a bitter divorce.
FYI: All I googled was “estranged wife exchange of children”
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Did you enable any of these events? I bet you’d say, Heck NO!
But, wait again (US residents) — do you pay taxes? Well then, perhaps you did….
The Trap Door They Don’t Tell Divorcing Mothers, or separating-from-abuse partners about — almost ANYwhere…
Forcing the Connection through “Access Visitation Funding” and social policy closing the exit door.
Taxpayer funds enabling these events, sometimes, through federal grants to encourage contact with noncustodial “parents” (Dads).
Meanwhile, nationwide HHS-funded “Access/Visitation” funding encourages more, and more frequent, contact between children and noncustodial parent (if male), and advertises this through child support services (“OCSE”):
GEORGIA:
These services are offered at no cost to OCSS clients and include the following:
- Coordination of visitations or parenting time
- Mediation between the parents (non-legal, non-binding)
- Written parenting plans
- Group parenting education
- Counseling on access issues
Funding for all of these projects comes from grants from the Administration for Children and Families
What is access and visitation?Mississippi’s Access and Visitation Program (MAV-P) is designed for noncustodial parents to have access to visit their children as specified in a court order or divorce decree.
[[HUH? The court order or decree ALREADY specifies this, so why do we need this program?]]
Assistance with voluntary agreements for visitation schedules is provided to parents who do not have a court order.
NOTE: Participation without a court order is strictly voluntary. Both parents must agree to be involved.
What are the goals for MAV-P?The ultimate goal is to afford services that improve the quality of life for separated families by providing noncustodial parents opportunities to participate in their children’s growth and development.
[[If it didn’t have a noble-sounding goal like this, it might not have passed Congress or anywhere else. Who wants to vote for, after-all, exchange-related gunshots, stabbings, and officers/bystanders-down headlines? But if you read details of many of these articles above, it’s in there.
“Improve the quality of life.” How does this resemble “Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of Happiness” eh? Come here. We have federal grants to improve the quality of your life. TRUST US…]]
Other goals include:
- Encouraging family agreements through mediation;
- Providing parent education plans to enhance parenting skills;
- Furnishing a safe, neutral facility for visitation, as needed; i.e., [pushing Supervised Visitation]
- Promoting compliance to the noncustodial parent’s court ordered support obligations; [[Translation: reducing support obligations in hope to bribe the other parent to better comply. This is called “helping.” ]]
- Aiding custodial parents in honoring court ordered visitations; and
Women are regularly jailed when they fail to comply with court ORDERS. Recently, a 14 yr old young man in Michigan was jailed himself, briefly, for refusing to comply. So what is this a sort of persuasive pleading session, or brainwashing? The legal process provides for a contempt process. When custodial parents are women, this is often enforced, regardless of consequences. When they are men, a different standard seems to apply.
- Working with fatherhood mentors and coaches through a Fragile Families Initiative Program.
Now WHY doesn’t that surprise me?
What are the benefits of the program? The program benefits include:
- BOTH parents being involved in the development stages of the child’s life.
- BOTH parents providing emotional, medical, psychological and financial support.
- BOTH parents sharing in the child’s character and core values development.
- BOTH parents agreeing on scheduling and time-sharing.
Potential side-effects, where an overentitled abuser, a man off (or on) medication for depression, or someone not in control of his emotions is involved — death. That’s a potential “benefit” in certain contexts. But let’s not talk about that in THIS setting, OK?
Who is eligible to participate in MAV-P?Individuals interested in participating in MAV-P are not required to have a child support case or affiliation with the Mississippi Department of Human Services. Paternity must be established for all cases. Participants seeking assistance with supervised visitation must have a verified court order or divorce decree. Finally, the custodial and noncustodial parents must agree on scheduled mediation, parent education, unsupervised or supervised visitations, as needed.
(EVER tried to “agree” with an overentitled abuser? See Randi’s article, above….)
What services are provided in MAV-P?
- MEDIATION includes MAV-P staff working with both parents to develop a peaceful resolution to visitation disputes. This process is a face-to-face interview and/or telephone sessions.
- SUPERVISED VISITATION is scheduled for parents with legally established visitation directed by a court order or divorce decree.
- EDUCATION is offered through parenting classes which address the basic needs of the child, money and stress management, child abuse, co-parenting and the concerns of the parents for their child(ren)’s well-being.
Take time for THIS link: a “wiki-leak” an “mit” site. I’m OUT of time for today….
fathers who do not pay their child support are more likely to have frequent contact with
their children (many on a daily basis) than fathers who pay their child support.
fathers’ rights groups would argue that spending time with one’s children (especially on
a daily basis) should be counted in terms of reducing that father’s financial obligation.
More generally, advocates of increasing parental responsibility would argue that it
is now time for the federal government to focus more attention on the “non-financial”
benefits associated with preserving the connection between noncustodial parents and their
children. Many policymakers and analysts maintain that a distinction must be made
between men who are “dead broke” and those who are “deadbeats.” They argue that the
federal government should help dead broke noncustodial fathers meet both their financial and emotional obligations to their children and vigorously enforce CSE laws against deadbeat parents.
+/- $1/million/state/year for Access/Visitation grants (ongoing) can’t be all wrong, despite headlines, and despite reality of the consequences of frequent exchanges, more time, with resistant disgruntled fathers..
I may take up that document in a later post; it illustrates the system involved in these issues.
Randi, good writing, thank you –I find it pretty darn close to the reality.
Linus, MN — derailing the DV conversation, again. How dare they!
It was misfortune, it fell down from the sky, accidentally, 2 days after an irate man with a fourteen-year history of violence was released from jail after the 48th DV call. Now, let’s not talk about that bail, let’s talk about HER losing the battle, oh well.
Perhaps because restraining orders aren’t bullet-proof, I just have a hunch. They equipped her with PAPER, and let him out of jail. Now, oh dear, she lost the batttle. . . . . . PERHAPS we should look at the strategists this time, not the foot soldiers.
Police: Murder-suicide victim did ‘everything she could’ to protect herself


LINO LAKES, Minn. — It seems there’s never a typical neighborhood, and there’s never a typical victim when it comes to domestic violence.
TRUE, but there are typical policies when dealing with it. See if you catch one, below….
Friends say that’s definitely true of 48-year-old Pamela Taschuk, a woman they say was “vibrant.”
“She was upbeat. She was moving forward with her life, whatever the circumstances. And that was consistent with the way she did everything. She always had a sort of upbeat, vibrant attitude and just brought a spark of life whereever she was at,” said Jeffrey Schulz, who worked with Taschuk at BlueSky Online Charter School.
On Thursday night, Taschuk was killed (*) in her Lino Lakes home in what police believe was the final act of a long history of domestic abuse(**).
(**) Did police call it domestic “abuse” or domestic “violence,” which is more accurate?…. “Violence” sounds like “vile” which it is. “Abuse” well, it’s just a little softer sounding.
I have an idea why it’s called “abuse” in Minnesota (as well as other places). One is called Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs and the other is called the Domestic Abuse Project.
(*) (2nd in order becuase I didn’t notice this first time through) . . . . Taschuk was killed. Well, ain’t THAT a little evasive. What happened to the whoDUNit? Of course, the story then gets to it:
Police say Pam’s husband, 51-year-old Allen Taschuk, dropped their 16-year-old son off at a nearby gas station. Taschuk then returned home, police said, and killed Pam with a single gunshot wound. He called 911 to request someone pick up his son before turning the gun onto himself.
Officials say the case is both tragic and ironic — prosecutors say Pamela had met with them the very day she was killed. {{See later in story — she ALSO, the same day, attended a DV support group. I’ll get to this (one thing at a time. . . . but here it is: “Moore says Pam was even at a support group just minutes before her murder.”}}
ONE thing that seems obvious to me — her support group was near the home — “just minutes” away. She hadn’t left the family home. Maybe the support group, in light of this, might speak to their organizers and consider recommending that women take an IMMEDIATE precautionary and SWIFT location-change. And then let the prosecutors communicate with her, via fax, phone, mail, or from another prosecutor’s office, if necessary, perhaps?
“She was doing everything she could do to help us have a successful case,” said Paul Young with the Anoka County Attorney’s Office.
(Although 14 years after the assaults had begun — and I’m not faulting the woman, but I think perhaps this is a word to the wise for those women who may have access to internet and not wish the same fate….There is an element of gambling in these processes…. I don’t like gambling with the stakes being human lives, especially Mom/Dad parent lives . . . Anyhow . . . . .}}
Someone pressed charges after he beat her:
Pam’s battle against her domestic abuse spanned more than a decade.
Wow, A husband beating a wife just got gender-neutraled. For that, see this: The Grammar of Male Violence
{{I’m quoting a radical feminist publication, so therefore by association I must be a radical feminazi and lesbian, right?}}
Well, is that relevant to whether or not there is more than one way to describe a situation on which the details were known? For example, where is the culprit in that decade? Who was hitting WHOM just got deleted. If she’d been hitting him, do you think the news media would have omitted this? (and the answer is probably No. On the 2nd part, but it’s going more towards the feminazi, if this will help save lives, than away from it, if moderation will not. I don’t think violence towards women is a moderate act that should elicit a moderate response on the part of friends, neighbors, clergy, or law enforcement. And friends should examine themselves, as should immediate family, in these matters. Which, admittedly, ain’t always easy or comfortable.
Finally, BOTH of them are now permanently deleted, by bullets. And yet the descriptors remains (as reported by police, or at least these reporters), when HE assaulted HER, it comes out as HER battling “domestic abuse.” Because it takes two to tango, and she’s tangleed up in this sentence, I will presume that an aggressive male who eventually shot his 2nd wife, leaving his children fatherless, and stepmotherless (where is previous wife, or their mother?)
In a press conference on Friday, Lino Lakes Police Chief Dave Pecchia said police had responded to 48 calls to the Taschuk home in the last 14 years (neither of the couple being available for comment, we’ll have to take this at his word, unless someone on-line wants to look the records up))
In August, police arrested Allen after he beat Pam and wouldn’t let her leave.
What about the other 48 calls — did THEY result in any arrests? Why did THIS one — because it was beating AND false imprisonment? Or because they have a limit of 4 dozen per decade per couple? Or because the first 47 were just domestic disputes, and now that two people are dead, the polic want to emphasize that they DID arrest this dude?
I’ll tell you something. MOST beatings have an element of false imprisonment in them. Unless you buy that women like it, most won’t stick around voluntarily. If we could see something beyond the short time, generally, at shelters, for us, and/or our kids, and/or how to work after or in a shelter. “Hi. I’m going to beat you. Could you hold still for a while? Please?”
But two days later, he posted bail and was released.
You know what? Perhaps this should be the headline and not “murder/suicide victim…” First of all, the second word came second, and by then she wasn’t alive enough to be a victim of it. First all, she wasn’t. Sometimes I HATE the deletion of active verbs, condensed into adjectives to make room for a sentence spreading a sense of futility and helplessness — “she did everything she could to protect herself.”
>>>
{{What about exercising her 2nd Amendment rights to meet potential escalated violence (it’d been escalating, right?) with more than externalized paperwork and meetings? I believe abusers are cowards at heart. ESPECIALLY of women. Picking on someone helpless, and resorting to this to dominate, is a sign of weakness, and need to feel superior, but not the guts to face someone equal in stature and with equal means. Who knows what a batterer might do if he (or she) ever had to face and armed VICTIM, as opposed to armed responding officers after they’d already shot (or whatever the means) their unarmed, often female (or male), victim? For starters, they’d probably go target someone else, unarmed, which may not solve the problem they carry with them — but it MIGHT solve the problem for that one person being targeted..}}
{{You know what? When I read a report about two people shot that shouldn’t have been shot, I don’t like PASSIVE tense and I don’t like “generic nouns” to describe something that obviously had a person, acting, involved. “Generic nouns” are good places for things like rain, clouds, tides, and so forth. Sun rising, and whatnot. I don’t think murder-suicides following someone incarcerated for only 2 days when the history of violence dates back 10 years……should be packaged in as commonplace language as events we take for granted. Even so-called “acts of God” {{meaning, in insurance terms, “natural” disasters}} have a scientific causality.
That he “was released” is not an act of God or a happening, it was MATERIAL to two deaths, and it had a human agent. If that human’s hands were tied by policy, then the thing is to untie the policy noose. On the other hand, did that human in this case VIOLATE an existing policy? We’ll never know, and this article is CERTAINLy not interested in asking WHY he “was released.”}}
The door just opened. It just happened.
QUIZ: Do arresting officers set bail? (I think not). Judges do. DO judges have guidelines, and if so, do they follow them? So then (“Cast, Characters, Script, Action” in the repeat performance of a domestic violence murder/suicide after a man who’d just been confronted on it was inexplicably given a bail low enough to meet, posted it, and went for his gun…. This is, I repeat, a REPEAT performance in the same old script..not to mention a repeat review. Do they have boilerplates for this type of reporting? “Ask the police, ask the prosecutors, as a friend or so and commerorate her, comment on how unavoidable it was, and promote the local domestic violence shelter, which she wasn’t in, or program, or support groups,..which she was. Or batterer’s intervention groups which he was, passing with flying colors, right up til that 2nd shot… Spin the tale, frame the conversation…….)
Can we try a variation on this?
who just got deleted from this account of what happened? Answer — the JUDGE. Who deleted it, or didn’t report it? The author (or editor), probably Karla Hult of KARE11.com news. She was doing her job, I know. Typical report. He posted bail (HOW MUCH? DID ANYONE BRING UP, ON SETTING BAIL, THAT HE HAD A DECADE LONG HISTORY OF ABUSE, 48 CALLS IN 10 YEARS, AND REPRESENTED A DANGER? NOW THAT MIGHT BE A STORY. REMINDS ME OF THE OCEAN CITY (TOMS RIVER NJ) ACCOUNT. See my blogroll — it’s usually one of top 5 posts visited. And I asked that question: WHY was the dude released then?
But prosecutors, friends and domestic abuse advocates say Pam kept fighting. Earlier this month, she got an order of protection against her husband. She was also getting a divorce.
.
I’d like to review these two sentences again. My mind can’t just quite wrap around the verbal equating of “Pam kept fighting” with (14 years after he began assault & battery behavior against her (that’s what it is) with two activities: Getting a protection order, and getting a divorce. One more time, in blue, the 3 categories of Monday Night Quarterbackers, post-game analysts who ARE still alive (and probably still employed too) have this summary, and trick of language metaphor:
But prosecutors, friends and domestic abuse advocates say Pam kept fighting. {{HOW did she fight? With what weapons? Possibly as advised:) (1) Earlier this month, she got an order of protection against her husband {{actually that’s not fight, that’s closeer to flight, only not really for it, because no change of location was involved for HER}} (2) She was also getting a divorce.
How did her husband fight? The last time, with a gun. How did she fight? with a protection order and a divorce.
Filing for both the protection order AND the divorce, we ALL should know by now, the temperature is escalating — this woman is attempting to change the dynamics, and is getting help with it, too. The “I rule THIS neck of the woods” dynamic is being shaken up. She is in more danger now (if this be possible) when she was at home taking it on the chin, so to speak (wherever it landed). if those were NOT life-threatening, although intolerable, illegal, and an indicator that her life WAS in danger, whatever it was then, it is now even moreso unless she gets ALL the way to safe FAST, because she is saying “STOP!”
So let’s look at this logic. Things are going to heat up. She is attempting to re-assert control, even defense. Now ALL parties involved should know this by now, or they simply are illiterate and do not get on-line about DV, at all. You can’t read too far before running across that truth. “The most dangerous time is when a woman tries to separate….” So let’s assess the survival tools this report just credited her (post-mortem, literally) with:
- Man just out of jail with Gun v. court rulings (paper, theory).
- Man just out of jail, and history of DV, with Gun v. court rulings. Let me see, which is likely to win? Gun, or court rulings? Place your bets, after all, it’s not YOUR life.
Which will win? Well, that depends on the context and some variables. Court rulings (“paper” or electronic) restrain in THEORY.
Guns can restrain in PRACTICE, and for good. They are heart-stopping (case in point)
QUESTION: If it was someone you cared about, would you gamble on someone’s psychological or lethality assessment of a 14-year batterer, and logically, then wish the person attacked to have to live in a constant state of gauging that assessment, OR would you recommend something which would err on the side of SAFETY, for example, immediate and significant SEPARATION (distance wise, etc.) or DETERRENT-wise?
Where’s your love at? Where’s OUR love at?
Is it moral or practical to play “paper, scissors, rock” with other people’s lives, at public expense?? After they have come to a public entity (or nonprofit) for help and safety? If unclear what this game is, see next section. it’s a simple, context-sensitive game of wit, or odds, and only requires hands to play. The losers may be humiliated, but aren’t hurt by the game, per se. . . Kids play it, grown-ups sometimes, too….
“Paper, Scissors, Stone.“
Reminds me of that kids’ game, “paper, scissors, stone.” The key is context, and the thrill is not knowing what your choice will be met with from the other player’s. For those who don’t know, I’ll let Wikipedia and Youtube illustrate:
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Now, let’s reconsider Pam kept fighting: She got a protection order and was getting a divorce.
Her weapons: court orders.
His, Previous times:- ?? only those two, and any witnesses know for sure. (Maybe the previous 48 calls to the home revealed). This last time, a gun. Who had the better odds, given that this guy wasn’t the most law-abiding sort, evidently. . . . ?? The odds were stacked against her. Her weapons were metaphors, his were tangible and had projectiles. Moreover, whoever kept encouraging her to get these obviously doesn’t read the newspapers that often, or at least, the policies are at odds with the evidence.
Now, let’s consider. Let’s analyze (again): Who’s alive, who’s dead, and whose advice did the dead woman follow? Perhaps if she’d had and been able to follow better advice, SHE’d still be alive.
I suspect (though I may be wrong, but I bet) had she not been murdered by her husband, her husband MIGHT not have felt it necessary to make a quick end to THAT process (rather than stay in jail — remember, he’d just spent 2 days in jail, and was probably VERY committeed not to going back again…)
Homicide in the U.S. — Plenary Panel from the 2009 NIJ Conference
(references something tried in Baltimore, based on in part the J. Campbell assessment)
In Maryland, you can see that our partner homicide averages about 1,200 per year. Sixty.nine men, women and children in Maryland. Our goal was to use this instrument, directed by this committee, to look at what an officer can do on the scene to deal with the danger of death at the scene at the time that they’re there. Sort of the golden hour that the health care industry uses, or the golden 24 hours, to get intervention into that home.
A lot of the committee members included DSS, which are critical; the prosecutors of course; law enforcement; and domestic violence advocates, our nonprofit providers. Dr. Campbell found some key things in her research, and she helped us to identify the things that many law enforcement officers know by instinct. What is the victim’s perception of what’s going on here? What is their fear level? What is the access to weapons? What happens with the threats of violence at the scene? What’s the suspect’s employment status, et cetera? You can read the rest…
…
What were the leadership issues we experienced as an agency? Of course, our relationship with external partners was critical. If you don’t have them, it’s a little hard to build this base. We were really blessed to have a lot of that infrastructure in place.
Culture. What is the attitude of your officers in the area of domestic violence? Is there emotional intelligence, or is it an immature culture about the issue? And how do you, as leaders, attend to that? What is the attitude in general with your county of the role of the state’s attorney, prosecutors, judges, et cetera?
(AHA!!)
. . . . So, I would err EVERY time on the side of safety, caution, and take NO risks, rather than unacceptable risks. We have gotten to the point in some situations were restraining “orders” are instead red flags, instigating further escalations. When people are in an “intimate” relationship, it’s part of this to let down their guard somewhat. People who take advantage of this by REPEATED physical assaults have made a MAJOR transggression, and this needs to be addressed as such. ONE call to the police is unacceptable, and a huge red flag.
I have 3 short proverbs, or “gifts” (of information) to the next women (or men) hoping to restrain and out of control intimate partner, or one that has been ejected from the home by them already. Or, if they are considering it. AGAIN, I’m not an attorney and every one is to judge her situation and LISTEN to her instinct, and do NOT listen to people who say, listen to US, not your instinct; we aree the experts.
In the field of survival we have God-given instincts (or, if you prefer, natural) for this. Appreciate them! Do not sign them over the closest entity saying “let us help you.” Help is needed, but as you had that guard up with the aggressor, also be alert from people that are taking your confidences and advising you how to get out. It may be a way out, or it may be a dead end, such as this one. Then afterwards, you will
OH — closer to the bottom of the article about the VICTIM, here’s actually something about the SHOOTER.
Allen Taschuk served on the Centennial Fire Department as a paid, on-call firefighter for the last 20 years, accoridng to Chief Jerry Streich. He was put on administrative leave within the last year for undisclosed reasons.
“Pamela did all the things she could do in terms of protecting herself,” said Connie Moore with the Alexandra House Domestic Abuse Shelter in Blaine.
WELL, HERE’S ANOTHER COMMENTATOR, NOT THE JUDGE WHO ENABLED THIS WIFE-BEATER TO GET FREE BY WHATEVER BAIL WAS POSTED. And I bet he wasn’t too happy about even those 2 days in jail, either, I mean the husband. Future women in trouble should call this shelter. (Free plug — come to us!) You too, might end up like Pam.
Moore says Pam was even at a support group just minutes before her murder.
So much for support groups! I rest my case! Safety FIRST, support, SECOND.
and this is why (post-restraining order) I stopped attending, because I wished to devote my time instead to something which might stop the trouble, and it was escalating — and not learn how to endure it. I already knew how to endure it, from practice, years of it, but the more freedom I tasted the less taste I had for returning to abuse. This is when things OD escalate, when this is sensed by the other person.
Given her long battle, Moore says . . .
This tells you who, perhaps, Ms. Moore has been hanging out with. i recommend she carefully review “The Grammar of Male Violence” and change her talk. Stop talking about the women that lost, and analyze the case in terms of who did what.
Ms. Moore, if you’re reading this, could you get a copy back to PRAXIS and BATTERED WOMEN’S JUSTICE PROJECT AND ANY OTHER TRAINING CONFERENCES YOU ATTEND AS A SHELTER WORKER? I know they have organizations up in Minnesota that teach cultural sensitivity as to subgroups of people being assaulted by their partners. There’s funding for Rural, for Native American, and I know there’s IAADV for African-American issues, with Dr. Johnson. Would you relate, from me, that it’s not “her long battle” but (seems to me, at least this case) someone’s incompetence, that let this one “suddenly spiral out of control.” after a guy just got released from another beating on bail. Stop deflecting blame onto the woman. Sounds to me like she was doing HER part, but others weren’t doing THEIRS. Maybe that why “she lost ” “her battle.”
Where were the analysts? They were collaborating on how to train all the folks that weren’s supposed to set that low a bail, but give her time to get the heck out of there, and TELL her to!
Please show grammar sensitivity for the sub-group of WOMEN and stop blaming them when their prime shortcoming was simply bad advisors, who didn’t say GET OUT and STAY AWAY!
Pam’s death highlights what else needs to be done in the court system and community to protect domestic abuse victims.
Not it doesn’t, it’ OBFUSCATES what else needs to be done in the sentencing procedure. Chalk it up to another mess-up. It was just a few dozen or so domestic disputes, that’s all.
I’m going to rewrite that: “to empower battered women.” or “to STOP or RESTRAIN men who batter women.” And stop calling it “abuse!” Stop giving the standard post-murder/suicide spin, and start quoting from court pleadings and police reports, if you can. The next time a reporter contacts you after an “event” tell them some graphic truth and be blunt about it. You might lose your job, though, but maybe a better calling might ben investigating these bail orders handed out. . . . If they force traffic violators (speeders, drunk drivers, etc.) to sit through accident footage, why is this less?
“If a victim is saying ‘he’s threatened me, he says he’s going to kill me,’ we need to take that seriously,” Moore said.
We who? How many (more) women, boys & girls, and/or men are going to die before the full panoply of that “we” starts to try something different? Can something be diverted from, say, abstinence education, to helping families in danger MOVE while he’s incarcerated?
Moore said the court system should consider following a “lethal assessment” policy that requires officials to gauge exactly how great a threat a suspect poses to his potential victim. She said officials could then choose a more aggressive response with those suspects who pose a greater risk. {{they COULD do this now, and aren’t. It’s not really rocket science...}}
You know what? The court systems is considering its own behind, associates and paychecks. The sooner DV victims realize this, the better. I say that from the perspective of the fatherhood movement, superrvised visitation movement, access visitation movements, and the inane acting like a lethal incident just “dropped out of the sky” and was the dead people’s (or fortune’s) fault.
THIS lethality assessment stuff is maybe one of the latest “lines” (myths) going through the training advocates loop. Lethality assessments go back to 1985, as does the habit of ignoring this in favor of “Designer Families.” It presumes officials don’t have a clue that someone is going to get killed next time, just like they say in the post crime scene cleanup press conferences. MOreover, these are used to promote organizations that don’t seem to check long-term follow-up — when that thing goes into the family law system, which doesn’t LIKE calling a crime a crime (see AFCC.com, “about” & history pages), then what?
Ms. Moore, please seek outside opinions. Is this what women tell YOU, or is it what you are to tell the women?
It presumes the experts know BETTER than the women themselves where safety is and what a danger is. That is a lethality risk in itself, they don’t! Why not? It’s NOT THEIR KDIS and THEIR LIVES or THEIR WIVES.
Analyze This: Wichita Woes — What happened after 911? (1st time, 2nd time).
I rest my case on “certifiably insane protection orders”. . . .
This article is a quiz (answers below). Do this:
A. Put events in order.
B. What piece of the puzzle doesn’t “fit” and which pieces are missing?
C. Keeping this within Kansas, bring this case history to Senator Oletha Faust-Goudeau, recently found sponsoring (yet another) Fatherhood act of some sort in Kansas and ask for commentary. Request permission to record, and share on youtube with the rest of us, why a man like this needed to be within cutting/shooting range of his 21 month old daughter. (Because if he didn’t get this, someone was going to pay, bad?). And how the (decade-plus) of prior fatherhood initiatives may or may not have contributed to this young man’s sense that after punching XXX officers and threatening to slit the throat of his wife, for calling for help, society still owed him something…
D. Rewrite the headline, more appropriately reflecting the crucial issues in the case.
And then Alternately
E-1. Pray to the tooth fairy that this isn’t you or anyone you know and/or recite after me:
E-2. “it spiraled out of control. We had no idea. It spiraled out of control. The real social crisis of our time is fatherlessness, not lawlessness. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Nevertheless, the Feds + faith-based + local agencies will fix this situation. We WILL eradicate violence against women and murder by men if we JUST try harder, train more professionals, and dump some dollars in that direction. We WILL, right??”
The children are our future. Now, Where’s that Valium?
Suspect in deputy’s shooting had violent past
. . . (and they married WHY???)
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BY TIM POTTER
The Wichita Eagle
The 27-year-old man accused this week of ambushing a Sedgwick County sheriff’s deputy had a history of violence against his ex-wife — and against officers.
{{For why the word “had” is used, see 2nd article, below}}
In 2005, Richard Lyons’ ex-wife, Jenifer, accused him of holding a hunting knife to her throat and threatening to kill her after she called 911, an affidavit filed in Sedgwick County District Court said.
Lyons pleaded guilty to aggravated assault and served several months in the county jail followed by about 16 months in a state prison.
He was released on parole on March 2, 2007. His sentence and parole supervision ended on April 11, 2008, records show.
In March 2005, four Wichita police officers responded to a report of a disturbance with a knife at his ex-wife’s home in the 900 block of South Waverly, in southeast Wichita.
Lyons had arrived and “demanded she give him their infant daughter,” the affidavit said.
She reported that they argued and that after she called 911, Lyons held a 4- to 6-inch knife blade to her throat and threatened her. The knife reportedly came from a sheath attached to his pants.
“Jenifer said she hung up the phone because she was in fear for her life and believed Richard would carry out his threat,” said the document, used to bring the felony aggravated assault charge against Lyons.
On the 911 call, a male voice could be heard saying, “I will cut you,” the affidavit said.
When he went to get a diaper bag in another part of the house, his ex-wife grabbed her two children and fled, the affidavit said.
At the home, officers found signs of a disturbance, and when they tried to arrest Lyons, he punched two officers, the document said.
Although prosecutors also initially charged him with two counts of misdemeanor battery against an officer, those two charges were dismissed after he agreed to plead guilty to the more serious charge of aggravated assault, records show.
His ex-wife obtained a protection-from-abuse order against Lyons.
In April 2005, about a month after the incident involving his ex-wife, court records show Lyons was living at the house where he is accused of shooting Deputy Brian Etheridge this week — first with a rifle and then with the deputy’s own gun.
Etheridge was responding to a 911 call from the South Rock Road residence, reporting a theft — a report authorities now think was concocted.
In Lyons’ 2005 divorce case, court records say he was working for Colortime in El Dorado at the time. The court at one point required him to pay $234 a month in child support.
At another point in 2005, Lyons temporarily lost visitation with his 1 1/2-year-old daughter because of the incident involving his ex-wife.
On Tuesday, a man who said he was Lyons’ father declined to comment.
Lyons’ ex-wife could not be reached.
In September 2003, about two years before the knife incident, Lyons was convicted of misdemeanor battery against an officer.
In the years before that, he had been convicted of felony criminal threat and misdemeanor domestic battery and criminal damage to property, records show.
As a juvenile, he had misdemeanor convictions dating to 1995, when he was 12, for criminal damage to property.
Wichita school district records show that Lyons withdrew from Metro Boulevard Alternative High School in July 2002.
Contributing: Hurst Laviana of The Eagle Reach Tim Potter at 316-268-6684 or tpotter@wichitaeagle.com.
QUIZ ANSWERS (mine) BELOW: (I interspersed A & B as dialogue)
Events, apparent order (quite different from article, which jumps around considerably)
- 1995 Juvenile Richard Lyons, age 12, has misdemeanor convictions for criminal damage to property, ergo he was born about 1983.
- July 2002, Lyons withdraws from alternative high school (age, about 19)
- Between age of majority (2001?) and 2003, he has convictions for felony criminal threat AND misdemeanor domestic battery, meaning, probably against a WIFE or GIRLFRIEND. This is called “domestic violence,” folks. SEE 1994 VAWA Act.
- ??? somewhere in there he gets married to Jenifer Lyons.
- Sept. 2003, misdemeanor Battery against an officer.
- Somewhere in 2003 Jenifer gives birth to his child. (Note: Physical assaults sometimes begin with pregnancy. Mine did).
- Somewhere between then and 2005, they get divorced. (Given the assaults, probably understandable. What’s not quite understandable is why they got married, unless the pregnancy PLUS her lack of other options to survive (i.e., HER family of origin support), PLUS no doubt some of this federal pushing of marriage on everyone…?? Who knows. Maybe they wanted to. Maybe HER household (how old was she?) was a place she needed to get out of.
- By 2005, he has a child support order in place and is actually, it appears working. Apparently they’ve entered the family court system somehow, I’d guess. The man is all of 22 years old, so this is a good thing and possibly a change for him?
- THIS IS TAKING LONGER THAN I PLANNED.
- OBVIOUSLY they had “visitation” (unsupervised, obviously). Note: He assaults women AND officers, felony-style, and threatenes (someone — seee above). He destroys property and punches policemen. NEVERTHELESS, an infant needs her Daddy. Daddies can be nurturers too. If we try hard enough, perhaps all of us (through funds, and social support and of course parenting classes) can transform this young man into a real nurturer before he kills someone for telling he can’t combine nurturing infants with wife assault.
Now in March 2005, things start getting, well, interesting:
- “In 2005, Richard Lyons’ ex-wife, Jenifer, accused him of holding a hunting knife to her throat and threatening to kill her after she called 911, an affidavit filed in Sedgwick County District Court said“
- HEre’s the account, I rearranged some sentences. Apparently by now there are 2 children (both his? Maybe not?)
- Lyons had arrived (EXCHANGE OF THE KIDS RIGHT? Here’s a CLASSIC CASE involving DV, and no help with the exchange. Yes, I’d imagine this was in family law system already, totally oblivious (per se!) to the potential danger of the situation, despite lethality assessments and DV literature dating back to at least 1985 (Barbara J. HART), 1989 (Family Visitation Centers started in Duluth Minnesota), 1994 (Violence Against Women Act) and all kinds of other literature. THis hadn’t reaached the “heartland” yet, I guess. ) and “demanded she give him their infant daughter,” the affidavit said. ((OMISSION – was there a custody/visitation in order or not? if so, was it clear and specific, as many states require (but don’t practice) cases involving DV be, to avoid incidents like this? If it WAS clear and specific, was his demand in compliance with or NOT in compliance with that order? As they say, and we see, this isn’t typically a guy that plays by the rules, not even the rules for graduating from high school, or refraining from damaing others’ propery. We’ll, he’s about graduate from punching officers to putting a knife to his wife’s throat. I wonder if this was the first time….)
- She reported that they argued {{POSSIBLY OVER WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS HIS TIME TO SEE HIS DAUGHTER?}} and that after she called 911, {{POSSIBLY THE ARGUMENT CONTAINED SOME THREAT OR PHYSICAL ELEMENTS?}} Lyons held a 4- to 6-inch knife blade to her throat and threatened her. The knife reportedly came from a sheath attached to his pants. {{May I speculate that perhaps Mrs. Lyons was aware that Mr. Lyons sometimes carried knives, and this may have contributed to her decision to call 911, even if the argument was only “verbal” in nature?}}
- On the 911 call, a male voice could be heard saying, “I will cut you,” the affidavit said. (I’m going to assume this is “evidence” and it was his, not a responding officer’s. I will further assume that this was a criminal prosecution, because someone actually got ahold of that 911 call. GIVEN the history, was this a creditable threat? It appears to the reader that her report was accurate in this part. Contrary to the “false allegations” stigma associated with women reporting violence (or threats of it), ” because they want to get custody,” this report seems to have some merit.
- “Jenifer said she hung up the phone because she was in fear for her life and believed Richard would carry out his threat,” said the document, used to bring the felony aggravated assault charge against Lyons. {AS FURTHER DEVELOPMENTS SHOW, YES HE WAS CAPABLE OF AND WILLING TO COMMIT MURDER WHEN HE FELT WRONGED OR WAS ANGRY OR ?? SO HERE, SHE DROPS THE “911” METHOD OF SELF PRESERVATION AND, if I may add, protecting her children, WITH HER KIDS OPTS FOR THE “FLEE” METHOD. Amazingly, a charge was actually filed. For why, possibly, read on.
- When he went to get a diaper bag in another part of the house, his ex-wife grabbed her two children and fled, the affidavit said. {{I have done this flee while he’s in the other part of the house routine, often enough}}
- HERE COME THE RESPONDING OFFICERS: In March 2005, four Wichita police officers responded to a report of a disturbance with a knife at his ex-wife’s home in the 900 block of South Waverly, in southeast Wichita. {{Officers KNOW domestic violence wih a weapon can be lethal. They didn’t send one custody evaluator, one parenting educator, one mediator, and one guardian ad litem, they sent FOUR officers, and I BET they were armed… Yet women are left to face this, sometimes weekly, without adequate protection.}}
- At the home, officers found signs of a disturbance, and when they tried to arrest Lyons, he punched two officers, the document said.
Not one but 2 officers. Tell them to thank Wade Horn, George Bush (Jr.), former President Clinton, present President Obama, (well, adjust for the year), and others for those punches to the face. Father-engagement. Healthy Families. . .. You’re in it. . . . . . . Were these male and female officers, I wonder, and which ones got punched. But in an incident, it could easily be any of them.
Moving on in our sequencing:
5. Prosecutors initially charged him with two counts of misdemeanor battery against an officer.
6. he agreed to plead guilty to the more serious charge of aggravated assault. (good move, as they saw evidence, and he was already heard on tape threatening to cut her.)
7. The lesser charges (above) were dismissed. Is this called a “plea-bargain?
8. His ex-wife obtained a protection-from-abuse order against Lyons. (((WHEN?? see last post on police reporting of incidents). Now? Or had she earlier? Criminal, or civil?)
NOW — figure out this timeline if you can:
9. Lyons pleaded guilty to aggravated assault (See 6, above. WHEN? WHAT MONTH 2005?) and
10. served several months in the county jail followed by about 16 months in a state prison.
March 2007 is 24 months from March 2005 (date of assault). Ergo “about 16 months” plus “several months” possibly does NOT add up to 24. How many people do this kind of mental math when reading leading bleeding headlines?
March 2005 (arguing, resulting in 911 call, threatening to slit wife’s throat in retaliation for calling 911, with 2 kids, one of them a toddler girl, in the home, Mom + 2 flee for safety, 4 police come, 2 of whom are punched) – March 2007 is most definitely 24.
The question is, what is “several” months? Is it 8, or 9 (8 + 16 = 24, right?) WHEN did he plea-bargain? After punching officers and threatening to kill wife was he then RELEASED in this foul mood? If he threatened to slit her throat and assaulted people who tried to help in March 2005, what kind of response might we expect after being sentenced, if he was released on bail?
11. He was released on parole on March 2, 2007.
12. His sentence and parole supervision ended on April 11, 2008, records show.
What this section of reporting does is to reassure that his crime (of — see above) was indeed punished properly. Or was it?
13. In April 2005, about a month after the incident involving his ex-wife, court records show Lyons was living at the house where he is accused of shooting Deputy Brian Etheridge this week — first with a rifle and then with the deputy’s own gun.
Omittting the obvious — after arrest (i’m going to hazard a guess that the 2 punched officers or their colleagues eventually handcufffed the guy) he was free on bail or own recognizance until arraignment and incarceration
YES, you read it right, finally. Threaten to slit her throat, punch TWO responding officers, and get out scot free, for a few months. This is an interesting sentence (I don’t operate under press deadlines, but still . . . . . the sentence bridges four years of time: 2005 & 2009!) Well, not quite scot free. He was punished with not seeing his daughter, “temporarily.” Wonder what time frame THAT word spans.
14. At another point in 2005, {{Can we get a hint which month?}} Lyons temporarily lost visitation with his 1 1/2-year-old daughter because of the incident involving his ex-wife.
When I filed for a DV restraining order with kickout, and we had the guns, knives and assaults thing, but not on officers — we got ALMOST 7 days with no visitation, as I recall. Perhaps at the most 14, as he had to find a place to live.
Now here is about the slain officer:
- Sheriff: Deputy was ambushed
- Suspect in deputy’s shooting had violent past
- Marriage came as a surprise to Johansson
- Deputy was quiet, funny, passionate about his work
- Opinion Line (Sept. 30)
- Robbers strike as police look for killer
- Deputy’s funeral set for Friday
- Sedgwick County Commission remembers slain deputy
- Opinion Line Extra (Sept. 30)
- Wichita man arrested on suspicion of animal cruelty
Sheriff was Ambushed

WICHITA – Richard Lyons set the trap shortly before noon on Monday by calling 911 to report a theft at his house.
He then hid in the shadows of a tree and brush in the backyard of a house in the 3600 block of South Rock Road with a high-powered rifle, authorities said Tuesday. He waited for a law enforcement officer to show up.
That happened to be Sedgwick County sheriff’s Deputy Brian Etheridge.
“It does appear to have been an ambush situation,” Sheriff Bob Hinshaw said Tuesday of the shooting death of Etheridge, 26, the first Sedgwick County deputy to die in the line of duty in 12 years.
Lyons, 27, was shot to death a few hours later in a field not far from the house in an exchange of gunfire with law enforcement officers.
“It’s scary,” Hinshaw said. “It could have been any law enforcement officer… this was just a call to 911 to get any officer to respond.”
Investigators spent Monday night and Tuesday collecting shell casings and other evidence, Hinshaw said, piecing together a chain of events from what was left behind.
Based on that evidence, Hinshaw offered this account:
Lyons called 911 at 11:42 a.m. Etheridge was dispatched to the address just east of McConnell Air Force Base and radioed his arrival at 11:51 a.m.
When no one answered his knock on the front door, he asked dispatchers for contact information for the caller. He then walked around to the backyard of the house and saw no one.
Lyons was hiding in the shadows on the bright, sunny day, and opened fire with a .30-30 rifle — a weapon commonly used by deer hunters — when Etheridge turned his back as he was either approaching the back door or returning to the front of the house, Hinshaw said.
The bullet hit Etheridge in the back, penetrating his body armor and knocking him down. Lyons approached the fallen deputy and tried to fire his rifle again, but it malfunctioned.
He took Etheridge’s gun and shot him in the leg before disappearing.
Etheridge radioed for help, and scores of law enforcement officers from throughout the metropolitan area converged on the scene.
The wounded deputy was alert and communicating with the first officers on the scene, Hinshaw said, but their priority at that time was his medical care — not gathering information about the suspect.
Escorted by patrol cars, an ambulance raced Etheridge to Wesley Medical Center, where he underwent surgery.
Authorities established a one-mile perimeter around the house and urged residents inside that area to leave if possible.
Wichita Police Chief Norman Williams said authorities had information indicating Lyons was likely inside the house, so that address remained the focus of their attention even as law enforcement officers combed outlying areas within the perimeter.
Tear gas was deployed twice into the house in attempt to flush the suspect out, Williams said, and SWAT team members were preparing to blast open the front door at about 5:15 p.m. when authorities were notified that the suspect had been spotted hiding near a tree row in a nearby field.
Agents from the Kansas Highway Patrol and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives were patrolling a field in a Humvee when one of the officers spotted Lyons’ leg as he lay on the ground.
They stopped the Humvee, and Lyons stood up and fired at the vehicle with the deputy’s handgun. He then began running, firing several more shots as the ATF agents and KHP officers ran after him.
The law enforcement officers returned fire, striking Lyons “multiple times,” Hinshaw said.
Lyons was taken to Wesley Medical Center, where he was pronounced dead at 6:10 p.m.
Investigators hope to talk to neighbors and relatives of Lyons, Hinshaw said, but he doesn’t expect every question raised by the shooting to be answered.
“We may never know what the motive is,” he said.
Results of the investigation, including the use of force, will be presented to the District Attorney’s Office for review.
Flags at Wichita City Hall and other city buildings have been lowered to half staff in honor of Etheridge. They will remain at half staff through Friday, the day of Etheridge’s funeral.
“We’re just really shocked and saddened by what has happened,” Mayor Carl Brewer said. “It has affected all of our law enforcement agencies.”
Brewer said the city is providing counselors for police officers who were involved in the shoot-out and others who may be shaken by the violence.
“Every time they make a stop or enter a house, they don’t know what’s going to happen,” he said. “This demonstrated just how much risk there is.”
Reach Stan Finger at 316-268-6437 or sfinger@wichitaeagle.com.
FIRST 911 — from a woman — consequence, she’s threatened and has to flee for her life, BUT her ex-husband IS jailed — for about 2 years, or less.
SECOND 911 — from the formerly jailed young man (27 yrs old is young) — his ambush. SOMEONE was going to pay. Was Etheridge (the officer killed) a responding officer in the former arrest, or just anyone in uniform would do? Was he upset at what had happened in prison?
Was this suicide by cop? Sounds like possibly, to me.
WOULD IT HAVE PLAYED OUT DIFFERENTLY IF THE COUPLE HAD STAYED TOGETHER, OR WOULD SHE BE A STATISTIC, NOT THE OFFICER?
ANYONE WANT TO DO A PSYCHOLOGICAL WORK-UP ON THIS ONE (PLACE BESIDE THE WORK-UPS ON PHILLIP GARRIDO, AND HIS WIFE?) WAS IT UNEMPLOYMENT MADE HIM DO IT? WAS IT THE CHILD SUPPORRT ORDER? WAS IT ACTUALLY TAKING CONSEQUENCES FOR CRIMINAL ACTIVITY? WAS IT HIS LACK OF A FATHER IN THE YOUTHFUL HOME (FATHER CONTACTED DECLINED TO COMMENT). DID HE NOT HAVE A PLACE IN SOCIETY, WAS THAT IT? WAS HE ON MEDS? was he FORMERLY ON MEDS AND NOW OFF MEDS?
WOULD’IT HAVE BEEN BETTER TO, AT ABOUT $20K/PRISONER/YEAR (??) KEEP HIM IN LONGER, OR INDEFINITELY?
DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I SAID EARLIER ABOUT “COLLATERAL DAMAGES” OF DV (OR SIMILAR PHRASE) IN YESTERDAY’S POST?
I do have one comment, here: Something sounds narcissistic in the mix. This person was supposedly a hell-raiser from an early age, but didn’t get help. Possib ly being a father was a shot at sanity, but I think that the child support order was probably NOT a good idea for such a person. It would’ve been better for all to let her do welfare. She’d probably get off it quicker without the threats to her life than with them.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCES IN KANSAS:
http://www.ksag.org/page/domestic-violence (Attorney General Site):
Domestic Violence
The new Domestic Violence Unit within the Kansas Attorney General’s Office seeks to keep our families safe, stop domestic abuse and end the cycle of violence that threatens our communities.
Online Resources:
- Kansas Elements and Standards of Batterer Intervention Programs in Kansas (NEW)
- Cycle of Violence (printable flier): Learn to recognize the phases and symptoms of domestic violence.
- Warning signs of an abusive relationship
- Common characteristics of battered persons and abusers
(Be sure to catch this “get inside their head” speculation (many didn’t apply to my case, i know): date:
Source: The Battered Woman by Lenore Walker, Harper & Roe, 1979. (I’m comforted to know that the Attorney General has the latest psychological profile of batterers and their victims — only 30 years old…..)
- Believes all the myths about battering relationships {{NO one questioned me, and I hadn’t heard these…}}
- A traditionalist about the home, strongly believes in family unity and the prescribed sex role stereotype {{The alternative being, punishment….}} {{BY THE WAY, this now describes the Health and Human Services Dept., in general, on this matter….}}
- Accepts responsibility for the batterer’s actions {{SAYS WHO?}}
Resources for Law Enforcement
Child Exchange and Visitation Center Program – (CEVC)
This program provides supervised child exchange or supervised child visitation to children and families at risk because of circumstances relating to neglect; substance abuse; emotional, physical, or sexual abuse; domestic or family violence; etc. The state portion of funding can be used to fund the local match required for receipt of federal child exchange and visitation center grants.
Mighta been helpful for Jenifer Lyons . . . . .
The Essential Elements and Standards of
Batterer Intervention Programs in Kansas
The Essential Elements and Standards of Batterer Intervention Programs were developed over
seven years through the hard work of many professionals who are dedicated to ending
domestic violence in Kansas. The Kansas Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence
convened the initial work group and wishes to thank the following organizations for their work
during this process:
Developed and/or Reviewed by representatives from the following:
Alternatives to Battering, Topeka
Correctional Counseling of Kansas, Wichita {{MAYBE Mr. Lyons got this and didn’t take kindly to it?”}}{{Or, the problem was, he DIDN’t get it?}}
Family Crisis Center, Great Bend
Governor’s Domestic Violence Fatality Review Board
Halley Counseling, P.A., Girard
Johnson County Office of Court Services
The Family Peace Initiative, Girard
Kansas District Judges’ Association
Kansas Attorney General Carla Stovall
Kansas Attorney General Steve Six
Kansas Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence
Kansas County and District Attorney Association
Kansas Department of Corrections
The Mental Health Consortium
Office of Judicial Administration
Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence Center, Hutchinson
Wyandotte Mental Health Center
Family Crisis Center, GreatIn 2007, The Governor’s Domestic Violence Fatality Review Board (GDVFRB), chaired by
former Attorney General Robert Stephen appointed a subcommittee to review and update the
Essential Elements and Standards of Batterer Intervention Programs. The GDVFRB adopted
these as best practice standards in providing batterer intervention programming in Kansas, and
recommended that the Office of Attorney General implement a training and certification program
for providers of batterers intervention programs.
Attorney General Steve Six readily accepted the recommendation to train and certify batterer
intervention providers in Kansas using the Essential Elements and Standards of Batterer
Intervention Programs in Kansas.
For More information about this initiative, contact the
Director of Victim Services in the office of
Kansas Attorney General
Steve N. Six
120 S.W. 10th Avenue
Topeka KS 66612-1597
785/368-8445
“FATHERHOOD IN KANSAS (google, results 124,000)
ACCESS VISITATION IN KANSAS:
Child Custody, Support and Visitation Rights – Kansas Bar …
Visitation, often called “access” is the right of the parent who does not …. Child support and visitation are considered by statute in Kansas to be two …
http://www.ksbar.org/public/public…/child_custody.shtml – Cached – Similar –
Crisis Resource Center of SE Kansas –
Child Exchange and Visitation Center. 669 South 69 Hwy. … Wichita Childrens Home Child Access. 810 North Holyoke …
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/…/access_visitation…/ks.html – Cached – Similar –
Kansas Governor Mark Parkinson website … Funding Source, The Federal State Access &Visitation grant program is a formula grant program to states and …
http://www.governor.ks.gov/grants/grants_savppp.htm – Cached – Similar –
-
Overland Park Visitation Attorney | Leawood KS Parenting Plans …
Visitation & Parenting Plans. Kansas Visitation Lawyer … custody or non- residential custody, your children have the right of access to both parents. …
http://www.cavlaw.com/PracticeAreas/Visitation-Parenting-Plans.asp – Similar –
You will have access, at our Download Site, to the legal forms you need to modify custody-visitation in Kansas.
These forms are the most current versions …
http://www.custodycenter.com/MODIFYCUSTODY-KS/index.html
Following an emotional breakup, many moms allow or deny visitation by whim, {{OR WHEN HE THREATENS TO SLIT ONE’s THROAT< CASE IN POINT}}leaving the dads without regular access to their children. …
http://www.kslegalhelp.com/Divorce-and-Family…/Paternity.shtml – Cached – Similar –
YES, THERE WAS A DIRE LACK OF SERVICES FOR MR. LYONS…
The ACES study — Bridging apparent Skipped Synapses in Family Court thinking….
Happy Labor Day post. I give you one study I refer to often on this blog, that dates back to 1998, and one (more) inane/insane custody discussion from Australia, case dating 1999-2003, and topic, joint legal custody and visitation with a young girl and the father who crushed her baby brother’s skull with his bare hands, baby being 3 weeks old and in his father’s arms at the time. The court is less concerned with that behavior than the mother’s “phobia” (odd label, eh?) about that behavior. Nothing much new for Family Law Arena — this is its speciality, in fact, stigmatizing parents that actually seek to protect their kids from trauma, abuse, and possible (in that case) death.
ACES (below): Bridging the Gap between Childhood Trauma and . . . . .Negative consequences later in life.
Or should I call this bridging the gap between theory and reality? Which results in the ever-widening “Chasm,” the Court public Credibility Gap.
So, how does one talk with mad engineer at the helm of a runaway train with one’s kids on it? How get one’s kids safely OFF the train? because in this venue, it doesn’t seem possible. If they spend the duration of their childhood on this train, perhaps this will become their new “normal” and then another generation of trainsters and railway-hoppers will grow up, have kids, and provide new cargo for this Trip to Nowhere (except the trips to the bank for the railroad and its employees). Like the formerly renowned rail system in the U.S., it took a lot of subsidy to keep the thing operational.
There are basically two types of conversations going through the courts:
1. IN open court — in open, and
2. Behind closed doors — in private.
The heart of the matter is in the 2nd arena. Best interests of the child is static, sound-fluff and media-bytes. It’s not reality, and I don’t any longer believe that any one who makes a living in this arena seriously, seriously believes in this paradigm — or if they do, their eyes are simply closed, because the cat is out of the bag.
I believe the language the speak, as any good employee or business person truly does, is that of who is paying their bills. One reason I know this is that I actually experienced leaving an abusive marriage, and how vital a part finances was in getting free. I also watched systematic economic abuse (mismangement, comandeering of access to basic funds/cash flow/steady jobs that would make this possible, and so forth), which restricted and delayed the exit.
Which would you be more accountable to as a secretary whose family’s food and rent (lifestyle) depends on your pleasing that employer? Up to your own personal level of moral/social tolerance (and ability to choose), a disgruntled customer in the waiting room or on the phone? Or your employer? . . . . Well, what about judges and other professionals, some of whose salary (US$) is well over $100,000 and lifestyles and associates to match? Along with judgeships go political influence and possibly later activity — it’s a career path. It took a lot of convincing in California (and publicity) for these judges to give up (statewide) their almost $20 million in SUPPLEMENTAL pay, but not until one of their own, an attorney in Los Angeles, was firmly intimidated and jailed for reporting financial corruption (Richard Fine case), which was his actual job to do in this city, as I understood it. He was put in punitive solitary conffinement, moreover, and I heard, disbarred, for actually bucking this system.
However, these articles ARE about “best interests of the child” and whose head is where in being unable to figure that out in a given case involving infanticide! Or other horrors to any growing child, or the parent of any such child.
I am going to start grading the Family Law systems in my country, and in any country that imitates policies that I give an “F” in my country:
1998 THIS study is also old, and underestimated. Probably because of its common sense, like the 1989 and 1992 ones I quoted earlier, from NOMAS, talking about why the HECK have we got to continue exposing each new generation of children to more and more parents who batter, and then posing STUPID questions like, why is the next generation ending up in jail, or beating THEIR women, or taking the assaults, either.
WHY is business as usual, THAT’s why. A case came to light today where an Australian court (dealing with similar issues down under) is ordering psychiatric evaluation for the mother of a two-year old because the two-year-old’s father, quickly knocking up another woman, had just crushed to death the newborn (3 weeks old) infant with his bare hands, in response to the baby’s crying. The man is in jail, and the court is trying to tell the mother that she needs to have her head examined for wanting to make sure this doesn’t happen to the one that came out of HER womb. No, I am not kidding!
FAMILY LAW – Children – parenting orders – contact in prison – father incarcerated for killing child of another relationship – specific phobic anxiety of the primary carer and compromised capacity to care for the child – no significant contact ordered.
At what point do we get to have the COURT’s “head” – and values — examined? ???
O & C [2005] FMCAfam 200 (29 April 2005)
Last Updated: 6 June 2005
FEDERAL MAGISTRATES COURT OF AUSTRALIA
REASONS FOR JUDGMENTIntroduction – the proceedings
1. This matter comes before me as the final hearing of the competing applications of the various parties concerning B M C born 9 March 1999. Final parenting orders were made in relation to B on 20 February 2002 whereby B lived with the mother and the father had regular contact. However, on 11 March 2003, the father killed his newborn child of another relationship, Z, and the father is now incarcerated until approximately February 2006.
Yes you read that right. Infanticide: 3 years. 3 hots and a cot. Wonder if he’ll get out on parole early, like Garrido did, in time for a repeat performance. Sounds like it didn’t affect his entitlement much, being incarcerated for baby-killing; he still wants to assert his shared parenting responsibilities and rights. Where’s KING SOLOMON (of the Bible) when you need him? Where’s the anti-abortion pro-lifers when you need them? This mother, of child “B” is a pro-lifer. She doesn’t want HER kid to suffer the same fate. For expressing and acting on this protective, motherly sentiment, she may be sentenced to a lifetime — or at least for the duration of B’s childhood — of having her “head examined” over this “phobia.”
“Phobia” being, I guess, being afraid of something the Court isn’t afraid of, probably because it’s not the Court’s offspring involved or at risk.
2. The proceedings were initiated by the mother filing an application on 1 July 2003 in which she sought that previous parenting orders made by this court on 20 February 2002 be suspended and that she have sole responsibility for making decisions about the long term and day to day care, welfare and development of B. Effectively, she sought that there be no contact between B and the father.
3. On 21 November 2003 a Form 3 response was filed and served on behalf of the father {{BEING AS HE WAS INCARCERATED??}}. Relevantly, the father sought joint responsibility for long term decisions affecting B and contact in prison
RELEVANT: What the jailed Dad wants.
IRRELEVANT: what the killed 3-week old baby wanted before his Daddy crushed his skull together: probably either some cuddling, a diaper change, some milk, or to be held differently. Or his Mama.
IRRELEVANT: What the mother wants, safety for HER kid, and her concerns taken seriously.
YES, this WAS 2006, “DOWN UNDER,” and a term well-earned from what I can see of this decision, at least.
As to his paternal grandparents: Well, their son was an adult at the time, but still, they raised this guy. PERHAPS this should be considered “relevant” in allowing unsupervised contact of child “B” with them. (Not mentioned are her parents. . . . or mother of the deceased newborn. )
===============================
I give you one more reason (not including Phillip Garrido, Jaycee Dugard, and any woman who opts to marry a convicted kidnapper and raper) to take domestic violence seriously: The children:
What is the ACE Study?
The ACE Study is an ongoing collaboration between the Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention and Kaiser Permanente. Led by Co-principal Investigators Robert F. Anda, MD,
MS, and Vincent J. Felitti, MD, the ACE Study is perhaps the largest scientific research study
of its kind, analyzing the relationship between multiple categories of childhood trauma
(ACEs), and health and behavioral outcomes later in life.What’s an ACE?
Growing up experiencing any of the following conditions in the household prior to age 18:
- Recurrent physical abuse
- Recurrent emotional abuse
- Contact sexual abuse
- An alcohol and/or drug abuser in the
household
- An incarcerated household member
- Someone who is chronically depressed,
mentally ill, institutionalized, or suicidal
- Mother is treated violently
- One or no parents
- Emotional or physical neglect
Origins and Essence of the Study (2003)
ADVERSE CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES AND STRESS: PAYING THE PIPER (2004?)
The findings of the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study, an ongoing collaboration between Co-Principal
Investigators Vincent J. Felitti, MD, of Kaiser Permanente, and Robert F. Anda, MD, MS, of the Centers for
Disease Control and Prevention.
Because the two links above are in multi-column format, I can’t copy and paste. I exhort you to take a look at some of this.
Please note that “one or no parents” was NOT on the top of the list, as it is on current “fatherhood.gov” policy, or HHS/ACF grants prioritization in the Designer Family mode it appears to be stuck in.
Women, including women like me, whose children have been exposed to from 1 to all of the factors above, are after removing their children FROM such factors, having the courts force them back in through shared parenting considerations. IN this case the theoretical ideal is held over the head, and clubbing protective parents, of the practical reality that Batterers do NOT make Good parents until they thoroughly address the battering behavior, and what drives it. Moreover, men have graduated with flying colors from programs allegedly adjusting their attitudes, and gone right out to murder that bitch who forced them to sit through it (McAlpin is one case that comes to mind, Bay Area, 2005. Within just a few days, her body was discovered in a trunk).
Again, the issue becomes who gets to rig the test and give the grades? I give any policy that lacks common sense — protect the kids! — and ignores the golden rule and “F.”
Golden Rule in Family Law: Do unto OTHERS as you would have them do unto YOU (i.e., if it were YOUR kid, whose father just killed a newborn, would you as a judge order the woman who was alarmed at said murder to have her head examined, and the child ordered into contact with the parents of the killer, OR would you yourself be alarmed, and rule accordingly?)
If it’s not good enough for YOUR kid, it’s not good enough for HER kid. That’s the golden rule in the courtroom, I say.
This of course presumes that a judge cares about his or her own kids, which may be a presumption indeed; some judges have been convicted of collecting child pornography and making some of it (Thompson, NJ), another of sexual harassment of female employees (Fed. District judge in Texas).
Look: Domestic Violence matters. Ask Phil Garrido’s first wife. Ask Lindolfo Thibes’ daughter.
Good Grief, when are we going to take ANY violation of ANY criminal law VERY seriously?
Sorry to drop people in the post mid-stream, but this has been a very disturbing case to handle, given that my own kids were “kidnapped”in the context oif all these key elements, practically, except prior prison term and rape conviction (or as far as I know, rape). But, most of the rest.
Including the system’s failure to put a lid on it.
(Stolen, not kidnapped, technically. Only the fact that they were not actually removed from the state meant it was not kidnapping and prevented, supposedly, FBI from involvement. They were missing to me, for sure, at this time. I have too many and very significant questions (not all evident from this post) as to WHY certain perpetrators are getting out of prison when and in what means they do. Also as to WHY certain crimes are still not taken seriously enough by: arresting officers, prosecutors, and sentencing judges alike.
I know as well as anyone and so do many, many women and children, how one could be abused “in broad daylight” and no intervention in sight. I don’t think grown women get “used” to this, but children are an entirely different situation.
Everyone assumes someone else is handling it. Not enough people are willing to notice, act on, AND follow through and press police, etc. to follow through on, what they have reported. When I was assaulted at home, sometimes neighbors called police to the home, who didn’t press charges, report, or for the most part hand out anything regarding domestic violence. Up to and including several years after the violence against women act had passed, too. The reporting didn’t stop much, and generally happened after an incident was already over with. It didn’t deter a follow-up.
I not only kept showing up for work (though often traumatized) I once even showed up in the dentist’s office with my teeth knocked loose. I don’t remember almost any questions being asked, of any significance, in how this happened. How often did they get women with front teeth knocked loose in there? Especially nonathletic looking ones that didn’t look like the lifestyle included rollerblading or contact football, etc..
When my kids were stolen, law enforcement was involved in ENABLING this, as was the family law system, as were “mediators” and of course my relatives were part of the support system making it happen, and reason for it. It was part of the “cult-like” mentality. While these people work, I presume, in public, what they do in private is as “off the grid” as any Garrido.
This kidnapping/sex abuse/rescue case is prominent enough, I’ll not summarize it here, any search will produce an article RICH with links, fascination, background, and excuses. It’s a public purging of the conscience and an attempt to lay blame somewhere, so we can all get on with life and believe that this is NOT business as usual in quality or quantity.
It takes a Village to raise a child? It takes several villagers to expect law enforcement to handle what they know is going on.
The same method that works for not reporting domestic violence against women, and stalking, kidnapping, jealous obsessions, and inordinate need to DOMINATE — if only one woman, still, that woman — plus failure to maintain one’s own livelihood, participate productively in society (not productively in the black market or “off the grid”).
Garrido – – WHY WAS HE ON PAROLE?
From rag NYDAILYNEWS (I had to put blinders on to read the article, which was pretty raw itself):
August 30, 2009:
Look at this account of his first kidnapping/rape victim that generated the 1977 sentence, of which he only served 11 years.
Conrad was on routine patrol in the early morning hours of Nov. 23, 1976, when he spotted a car with California tags outside a Reno storage facility.
The cop soon noticed a light flickering under the shed’s rollup door, prompting him to bang on it. A disheveled Garrido, shirtless and wearing jeans, opened the door almost immediately.
“I asked him what he was doing in there,” Conrad recalled.
Before Garrido could answer, a female voice cried out from inside the warehouse, and a woman emerged from behind a curtain completely nude. She said she had been kidnapped and raped.
“He didn’t seem nervous or anything,” Conrad said. “He just said they were boyfriend and girlfriend, and they were just having consensual sex.”
(How consensual depends on the point of view….)
Conrad told the woman, later identified as Katherine Callaway, to get dressed. His backup arrived soon after and informed him that the license plate had been traced to a car involved in a kidnapping that afternoon.
Callaway was abducted, handcuffed and assaulted after picking up Garrido as a hitchhiker.
Conrad slapped cuffs on him.
t’s that “ONLY 11 YEARS” part that concerns me, as I wonder about the NJ Toms River, let out murder/suicide situation, plus the similar one, same area, the previous year. What’s UP with that?
LISTEN:
Even then, Conrad didn’t know that Garrido was high on acid and that the storage unit was equipped with various sex aids, pornography, stage lights and wine.
Garrido later told a detective he needed to dominate women to satisfy his sexual urges.
“I said, ‘What the hell are you resorting to this for?'” retired Reno Detective Dan DeMaranville, 74, recalled to The News. “He said that’s the only way he gets sexual gratification. … The guy should have been castrated while he was in prison.”
COMPARE:
The 56-year-old psycho kept Dugard and the two daughters he fathered with her captive in a secret compound behind his home in Antioch, Calif.
Local cops acknowledged they missed an opportunity to save Dugard in 2006 when a neighbor reported the man known as “Creepy Phil” had sexual addictions and kept little girls in his backyard.
The deputy dispatched to Garrido’s home left without even setting foot in the registered sex offender’s yard.
The mystery of Dugard’s disappearance ended when a University of California, Berkeley, cop became suspicious of Garrido and contacted his parole officer. Garrido later confessed to kidnapping the sweet-faced blond, cops said.
CAN WE CONNECT THIS WITH other FORMS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN, PLEASE??
Jaycee Lee Dugard kidnapper Phillip Garrido’s first wife Christine Murphy says he’s a ‘monster
(NY Daily News, next day)…
The Monster’s first wife says he once “tried to gouge” her eyes out with a safety pin.
Phillip Garrido, who is accused of kidnapping Jaycee Lee Dugard and raping her repeatedly during 18 years of captivity, went into a jealous rage when he saw another man flirting with his wife.
“He took a safety pin and went after my eyes,” Christine Murphy told Inside Edition. “He left a scar on my face.”
(Why not go after the man?)
Murphy, who said she and Garrido were high school sweethearts in northern California, said he “smacked” her around during their brief marriage and that she became his first kidnapping victim when she tried to flee him.
“I was always looking for a way to find out how to get away,” said Murphy, who worked at a Reno casino to pay the bills while Garrido tried to launch a musical career. “He’d always told me he’d find me wherever.“
Murphy said that when she was finally able to escape, Garrido “found me.”
“He pulled up, turned around and forced me back into the car,” she said, in part one of the Inside Edition interview that airs Monday night.
Calling Garrido a “good manipulator” and a “monster,” Murphy said she was relieved when Garrido was sentenced to 50 years in prison in 1976 for kidnapping and raping another woman.
Murphy, who remarried and is now a mother a four, said she had no idea Garrido had been released early and reacted with disgust after he was arrested for turning Dugard into a sex slave and fathering her two daughters.
“It makes me sick to my stomach,” she said. “He’s pretty much capable of anything.”
Cops Searched the Home but Didn’t See Compound
Jaxon Van Derbeken, Chronicle Staff Writer
Friday, August 28, 2009
Garrido’s luck held in July of last year, when a multiagency task force in Contra Costa County searched his home as part of a sexual offender compliance check, officials said. He had a string of offenses dating back to 1971 and was a registered sex offender on parole in California.
I WONDER HOW MANY AGENCIES IT TAKES NOT TO CHECK OUT A MAN REPORTED FOR HAVING LITTLE GIRLS IN THE BACK YARD (??)
Police, however, had been told about the backyard lair before, according to a former neighbor.
Erika Pratt said that two years ago, she called police after seeing what looked like a living compound with tents and sheds.
No warrant
Sheriff’s deputies came to ask questions, Pratt said, but they told her that because they didn’t have a warrant, they couldn’t search the house.
“I always wished someone could do something about it,” Pratt said. “It was like he was charging people to live there.”
Sheriff’s spokesman Jimmy Lee confirmed that his agency had dealt with Garrido before, but he was not able to provide details.
“We need to investigate it further to determine what that contact was,” Lee said.
OTHER SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR:
Criminal probe
At the time of the sex offender task force’s check last year, Garrido was the subject of a criminal probe that began in 2008 and had nothing to do with sex crimes.
Aguinaga said Garrido was suspected of bilking an elderly neighbor out of his life savings. A complaint was lodged on the man’s behalf when he moved to Friendship Residential Care in Antioch, Aguinaga said.
The elder care home relayed allegations that from late 2007 to March 2008, Garrido swindled Dilbert “Jack” Medieros, now 79, of nearly $18,000. In the end, prosecutors cited insufficient evidence in declining to file charges in April.
Garrido told police that Medieros had given him money to help start a church. He also told investigators that he had known Medieros for years and took him places such as the zoo.
Which others were complicit in her torment?
Details of Jaycee’s torment have been beamed around the world. Yet according to his neighbour, the full, awful truth about what really took place here might be worse than imagined – far worse.
For with FBI agents now digging-up Creepy Phil’s backyard and exploring his neighbour’s property, Mr Rogers shudders at the memory of the sounds he heard when it was ‘party time’ next door.
Mr Rogers says ‘perverts’ in the area were regularly invited over by Garrido for sex, beer and drug parties and that the Garrido home was, in effect, being used as a brothel.
{{Mr. Rogers also, naturally, tells why he didn’t report this and was not involved.}}
As details of this dark and troubling story slowly come to light, the question that America is asking itself above all others is: how on Earth was Garrido able to carry out his despicable crimes in the heart of suburban California, without anyone noticing – and for 18 years?
{{Despicable crimes happen in respectable neighborhoods all the time. What TYPE may vary with neighborhood. Or maybe not so much — ask any victim of domestic violence how it went and how SHE got out. All it takes is enough people to figure out someone else will report it, and enough enablers. }}
Worse still, could others have known what was taking place there – and even been complicit in Jaycee’s torment?
Certainly, Walnut Avenue is a grubby, primitive and predominantly white area. Many of the homes are little more than wooden shacks with children playing in the dirt outside.
Drug and alcohol addiction are widespread; back yards are littered with cars and fridges. Astonishingly, the area is home to 144 rapists and paedophiles.
‘People here live off the grid,’ says one local police source. ‘That means they use drugs, don’t pay taxes and never pay their bills. They live as they want to – and pay no attention to anyone else. And everyone who lives here is very happy with that arrangement.’
The surrounding streets offer another insight into Garrido’s twisted mindset as he held two generations hostage for his own sexual gratification. As darkness fell on Saturday, people scurried from dusty yard to yard, buying and selling crystal meth.
Highly addictive and responsible for making users’ teeth fall out in a syndrome known as ‘meth mouth’, crystal meth, also known as crank, is an amphetamine which has swept the U.S. Experts say users experience unstoppable sexual urges.
Locals say Garrido, who had previously been addicted to LSD, was a ‘tweaker’ – the slang word for crystal meth addicts, whose habit leads to characteristic spasms of twitching – and that he was also reputed to ‘cook’ the raw materials for crystal meth in an old van in his garden. This ‘laboratory’ reportedly exploded last month. Again, neighbours did not call police.
One man:
Smacking girlfriend around, trying to gouge her eye out (possessive jealousy), stalking/kidnapping, kidnapping and raping again, being let out (being let OUT?), kidnapping and raping again, and again. In the context, drug use, and did I mention financial elder abuse?
Is this enough cause to take violence against women SERIOUSLY? Or is it really OK to dominate a woman by whatever means necessary. Look at what goes with it. Look what kind of characters need to do this.
I said I was having a hard time with this post, and I am. Because while Philip was not biologically related to the girl he kidnapped, THIS one was:
Man who assaulted daughter, fathered her children is sentenced
Lindolfo Thibes, formerly of Los Angeles, gets 109 years to life for physically and sexually abusing his daughter for two decades. The case came to light when he stabbed her in Las Vegas.
By Jack Leonard
April 18, 2009
The emergency call came in as a domestic violence assault: A man had stabbed his girlfriend in the parking lot of a Las Vegas hospital.
But as detectives began to investigate, they unearthed a dark family secret. The suspect was not the victim’s boyfriend but her father, who had been sexually assaulting her for nearly two decades and had fathered her three children.
The assaults, the victim told authorities, started when she was 6 years old and living in Los Angeles. She said her father, a martial arts instructor, threatened to kill her if she told anyone and kept her a prisoner at home, monitoring her movements using surveillance cameras and delivering fierce beatings during paranoid rages.
On Friday, the daughter, now 29, sat silently in a downtown Los Angeles courtroom as a judge sentenced Lindolfo Thibes to prison for 109 years to life in what police describe as the most heinous case of child abuse they had encountered.
As her father was led away in handcuffs, the woman wept quietly and embraced her younger brother, who she said was also a victim of beatings by their father.
> > > > >
At that rate: 109 years — judging by Garrido’s case, he should be out in 22.
The victim told investigators that the abuse began in the mid-1980s when she and her father were alone in the house. Her mother worked nights and eventually moved out of the home to be a home healthcare provider. (The mother could not be reached for comment.)
Children need their fathers. ALL children need their fathers. No matter who the father. LEt me get this again: ALL children need their fathers the major crisis of our times is fatherlessness. Children who don’t live with their father are more likely to grow up and have awful problems and engage in crime. The federal government should make sure that more fathers get MORE access to their children.
Keep saying that, so you feel better, maybe you’ll really be able to believe this sooner or later, and incidents like this are ALL fabrications. CHILDREN need their fathers. Not necessarily their mothers (judging by the courts), but certainly their FATHERS. MOTHERS are optional, FATHERS are not. (keep trying, I know you can get it right). This applies even when their fathers have a need to dominate women by assaulting them, whether for sex, religion, or just because it’s fun. Children need their fathers
Her father, the woman told authorities, plied her with alcohol and marijuana from the age of 8. {{Concurrent with the incest}} She said she was pulled out of school in sixth grade and estimated that she was sexually assaulted about 10 times a week, according to law enforcement records.
In an interview with The Times, the woman said her father rigged the family’s West Adams home with surveillance cameras inside and out. Under her bed, she said, were motion detectors that set off an alarm when she got up.
As a teenager, she was forbidden to leave the house alone. Her father often grew paranoid and accused her of trying to escape or of secretly meeting boys. Enraged, he would beat her and her brother on their feet with a baseball bat, she said.
She feared deportation if she reported the abuse, she said, but was also terrified of the consequences if authorities did not believe her.
He said he “would kill me if he ever got his hands on me if I ever told,” she said. “He used to tell me he was going to cut my head off.”
At 17, she gave birth to her first child. For years, she said, her oldest daughter was her only friend. The moments they shared playing with the girl’s toys or watching television offered small but important comforts during her life with her father. There were also times, she said, when she and her father played video games or watched movies together.“I would use little happy thoughts to keep me going,” she said.
Her father, she said, grew fearful that her brother had told police about abuse at the home and fled to Las Vegas in 2003, taking her and her children. They lived in a motel, where, she said, Thibes told others that she was his girlfriend.
In April 2005, he stabbed her twice in the chest with a 10-inch kitchen knife, police records show. In interviews with police, he described her at various times as his wife, girlfriend or daughter.
The woman said she told hospital workers about the abuse once her father had been arrested and she knew her children were safe in custody.
SHE COULDN’T SAFELY REPORT UNTIL SHE KNEW HER FATHER WAS IN JAIL
THESE POLICE ACTUALLY ARRESTING FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SAVED THIS WOMAN AND HER CHILDREN FROM FURTHER SEXUAL ASSAULTS, BEATINGS, AND A LIFE OF FEAR, A NIGHTMARE.
Again, among these elements listed above were: Kidnapping, (more than once) rape, domestic violence, need to dominate women for sexual fulfilment, elder abuse (financial), stalking, jealousy, and use of drugs with sex, living off the grid, and possibly pimping out young women to the neighborhood. When they weren’t also working for him (Jaycee Dugard also helped with his printing business, it came out).
Oh yes, and in the case of Garrido, being inexplicably let out of jail early (anyone heard why yet?), and inexplicably not caught by multiagency task forces whose responsibility was to monitor.
Musta been because they were in an “unincorporated area” of Antioch.
What about when one parent is in a family court litigation? OH, well, that’s an ENTIRELY different matter, and the: Kidnapping, history of violence, obsessive jealousy, living off the grid, stalking, and financial elder abuse no longer apply. Let us convene some more experts to see which is the better parent, and how they can do 50/50 parenting, and ask a few psychological experts to evaluate how dangerous that one doing the: kidnapping, stalking, living largely off the grid, and in general refusing to obey the law, really is. Does that REALLY impact the children growing up?
Based on too many cases I know, including (case in point) mine, supposedly not.
Now you know why I’m having a hard time with this one.
Let’s compare who let Garrido out (what system, which people) with the ones in Toms River, NJ 2009 (and same county, 2008) that resulted in murder/suicide shortly after release, with another one that’s an accident about to happen I read about in Connecticut recently: Fiance comes at his wife with a ball bat in disguise, they marry, and she finds out later. When the facts are out, he is still released on $50,000 bail.
Oh yeah, and he was a town alderman — I suppose that was irrelevant.
Police: Connecticut town official was masked man who attacked fiancee days before wedding
ANSONIA, Conn. (AP) — A public official wearing a mask attacked his fiancee inside their Connecticut home four days before their wedding, throwing a blanket over her, hitting her with a baseball bat and running out the back door, police said.
Keith Maynard, an Ansonia town alderman who has since resigned, was arraigned Thursday afternoon in Superior Court and released on $50,000 bail. He declined to comment to reporters as he left the hearing.
What the hell kind of bail is that?
Maynard has been charged with second-degree assault, first-degree unlawful restraint and first-degree reckless endangerment.
Police say the woman, now Maynard’s wife, came home July 1 to find a masked man inside the house. She was treated for minor abrasions after the attack.
“I love my husband more than anything and to know that five days later was my wedding and he could do that and go through with the wedding. I was very surprised,” Ida Maynard told reporters outside the courthouse.
The judge ordered Maynard to stay away from the house so Ida Maynard can live there. He was also ordered to turn over any firearms, though his lawyer, John Kelly, said he did not believe Maynard had any.
Was he just getting off on the ball bat attack, or was there some other motive involved? Was this foreplay? Preliminary to finding out how much abuse she was going to put with during marriage? Is any protective order in place? It’s kind of a half-baked article, there, eh?

He works for Department of Transportation. Well, he’s on “paid administrative leave” at this time.
(Article has considerable more detail & link to arrest warrant, too: they’d dated 6 years, another woman possibly involved at time of attack, his wife had a son. )
Blume said nothing in Maynard’s personality indicated he was capable of any kind of violence.
Can we yet face it, most of us are not THAT good judges of personality? And psychological profile doesn’t of itself determine whether or not there’s been violence.
“Even if we argued, he never raised his voice. Here’s a guy who is just a nice, quiet individual who just did his job,” Blume said. “I don’t know what to say. I’m speechless, and I’m never speechless.”
Myth: quiet people don’t engage in violence. Work face is similar to at home face.
I’ve known him,” Della Volpe said. “He was a good public servant. But I certainly don’t condone domestic violence. . .Obviously this is a sad day for our community.”
Maynard was a supervisor for the state Department of Transportation. He has been on the Board of Alderman for 10 years, and had been nominated by the Democratic Town Committee to run for another term.
Board of Alderman President Stephen Blume said Maynard was an “excellent Alderman” who took all of his responsibilities seriously.
“I’m shocked by the news. I feel sorry for the woman who had to go through this,” Blume said.
Maynard resigned from the Board of Alderman Wednesday night. The board is expected to accept the resignation at its next meeting.
Police Chief Kevin Hale said he was also saddened by the news, but said it was an example of how the police department doggedly investigates domestic violence matters.
Yes they certainly do. They investigated, and someone else released the obviously disturbed and dangerous fellow, and thanks to being on PAID administrative leave (something many women don’t get ~ ~ in fact, never met anyone that got anything from a “Victims of Crime” fund ever as to DV ~ ~ when I was being battered, or had crimes committed against me that caused work loss-es) What’s more, the bail has released this man, and his attorney doesn’t think he has weapons (not including baseball bats?).
Why don’t they give Ida Maynard a baseball bat and some mace?
Sorry, folks, I probably shouldn’t write about incidents a little too close to home. No, I am NOT reassured about my kids at this point, and one is in college presently, too. I’m a little worried about their current value system, seeing as the court has put them in the custody of an identified batterer (same County/City) despite repeated police involvement repeated infractions of custody order, stalking, failure to respect child support orders (the most obvious), some really odd explanations for why, counter-accusations that I was a flight risk when I had no means to get away and had significant professional involvement right here, and other kind of delusional reports.
Oh yes — and when they’d just been in essence kidnapped!
WHY do people kidnap? To protect? Or to guard against reporting? Or when the kidnapping is to avoid a child support arrears, when it was set fairly low (if below welfare levels is any indicator), or to “dominate a woman” which is already on the record. Every single indicator of some severe personality problems is already on the record, and the local enforcment, won’t?
Is it just because they’re too busy investigating more serious cases, like they did with Jaycee Dugard the first (several) times problems were reported, above? Or is there another reason?
What’s happening to all these kids getting custody switches in the family law venue?
If I get a parking ticket (and I confess I have), I haven’t noticed prosecution lacking in the matter. What about these serious crimes to society?
Why does family law not take these same behaviors when an actual parent is involved, seriously? Does shared DNA mean they aren’t crimes? Did it for Phil Garrido — after all, the 11 year old and 15 year old, WERE biologically his children. He was their father…
A batterer, stalker, kidnapper, or man obsessed with a former, OVER WITH relationship, or a man not willing to live on the grid, who then again intentionally crossing the criminal line again after being confronted ONCE is a danger signal.
The reports are already out on abduction risk factors in high-conflict custody, and they are all being stoutly ignored, too.
Now, the landscape is changed. We are into lawlessness in the relationship, and one parent is supposed to just “deal with it” and pretend that her instincts are “off” and the courts are “on” the mark. Maybe a few more parenting classes will assuage that gut instinct and make it go away; that’s the typical family law response, when there’s money in the family.
When there’s not, then the idea is to prolong the litigation, but bring in government-paid professionals instead.
There’s money in the mix somewhere, for sure and there was, I bet, in Jaycee’s years of torture, too, perpetrator and enablers alike.
It takes that village, and we’ve got one for sure, nationwide, we do.
The case was then turned over to detectives with the Lee County Sheriff’s Office Major Crimes Unit.
Reporting















Give us your huddled masses, your underage daughters: Oconto Co Wisconsin locks up Lorraine, . . .
with 5 comments
Earlier, I (and colleagues — see those buttons on my blogroll!) posted on the 30-plus individuals involved in ONE mother reporting sexual molestation (and more) of her little girl in Wisconsin, after CPS workers in 2 counties confirmed it.
As reported Oct. 17th (DV awareness month, much?) on another blog (calling her a “teen” daughter was inaccurate. Though the abuse started earlier, my understanding is, she is 11). You should click on this link also — someone’s comment (wife of a police officer) is relating another account.
Here’s a StopFamilyViolence release on it at “RandiJames.com” File it under “a Thanksgiving to remember…” I guess…
Daughter Won’t Visit Father? Jail Mommy!
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 19, 2009
Contact:
Irene Weiser
Stop Family Violence
iw@stopfamilyviolence.org
NOTE: Anyone see this work in reverse, father jailed for refusing visitation to mother? If so, let me know — it’s my situation. I miss my (daughters) too! And if I file for a contempt (further upsetting someone) knowing the courts or enforcement will do nothing, leaving an angry male on the loose. Same deal with “certifiably insane restraining orders.” But there’s not a single qualm about restraining protective mothers. Fork them little girls over, we want a fresh supply of young flesh, plus that adrenaline rush that comes from dominating a woman, for those who feel entitled, or have become addicted to this need.
These are country-wide, generational nightmares. When’s the wakeup call? What will it take to stop it?
Apparently this mother is now out of jail, and her daughter is back in a different kind of jail sentence, and we will just have to figure out how to grow up around all this. And the reporters will continue wondering why we have so much rape, violence, and substance abuse, let alone, mental health problems in our country. Gee, let’s take a wild, educated, guess…
Again, folks, this is not anomaly, some aberration, some weird exception in upstate (or wherever) Midwestern Dairy State (?) . No, this is the pattern, this is the intent, and this is the practice in the family courts. You are watching it. Watch your headlines….
At the risk of hammering in this point of HOW it happens, and why (i.e., pointing to probable cause, not just effects), here’s an excerpt from the NAFCJ.net website as to this practice.
Further down on this link the “Center for Policy Research” group is mentioned. Check it out — it’s a key player, and sets a pattern for similar groups…
Meanwhile, I am saying my prayers for the Tipton family (and mine).
Child Support role is often a key factor. Don’t know if it was this time, but t ypically it is. A broke Mom can’t stick up so well for her rights.
ANYTHING below this line is a quote from that NAFCJ site, though not so formatted, which ends my post today.
One reason I understand this pattern to make sense is watching the pattern of abuse, individually, between the family of origin and my ex, and the role of finances, etc., develop over the years, and a progression to the careful vocabulary / jargon used to justify it.
There is most definitely a system to the chaos. In fact, chaos is the desired status, from what I can see. (See also Naomi Klein, “The Shock Doctrine,” referring to continental lockdown, etc.) When people, or a nation, is in shock, it is vulnerable to dictatorship. That’s why we must FIGHT LIKE HELL for Constitutional rights for all citizens: male/female, young or old. This is a language issue, and then practicing what the Constitution says, eliminating something else in one’s life, and forcing legislators, judges, attorneys, and lawyers to practice what they swore an oath to. It requires checking public records and trying to stop kickbacks, racketeering, double-dipping, and so forth. This is the price of freedom — vigilance. And yes, it matters, if it’s not your immediate neighbor!
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Read about Meyer Elkin’s role in the AFCC is discussed toward the bottom of their site AFCC: History page .
Completely omitted from this AFCC history is the very relevant fact that Meyer Elkin also co-founded in 1985, the leading fathers rights group – Children’s Rights Council. Study these people and their site carefully because it is the “blueprint” of how the courts are organized to rig cases for their paid-up allies. Nobody has to slip an envelope full of cash into the pocket of a co-conspirators to rig court cases for these people. It is all done for them by the government. They get their bribes paid for them !
The AFCC never mentions the multiple cross-affiliations between AFCC officials and the fathers rights group including Children’s Rights Council (CRC), founded by David Levy in 1985, along with several other key AFCC people. While this vital fact is no where to be found on any of their recent literature, it did appear in the early (pre-Interent) CRC hardcopy newsletters, which NAFCJ possesses, and uses to discredit this group and the judges who collude with them. Also in these older CRC newsletters was discussion of grants they received from HHS and the people who worked with them on those grants – people like incest promoters Richard Gardner and Warren Farrell. CRC allies were put into high-level HHS-ACF position such David Gray Ross, as Commission for Child Support Enforcement (OCSE) -starting in 1993 through approx 1999.. Ross was a Maryland Judge, who people who knew him say was a dead-beat dad himself. He spent his time as OCSE commissioner instituting regulations, programs and policies favorable to fathers and CRC. He essentially set up OCSE to be a fathers rights child support avoidance and custody switching agency. This perversion of OCSE’s agency’s original legislative mission continues to-date. This is the reason why so many custodial mothers can’t collect on their child support arrears, while non-custodial mothers are hounded incessantly and even jailed for support obligations assessed beyond standard guide-lines and beyond their ability to pay. Other evidence taken from HHS Inspector General Web site reveals even worse corruption at HHS-ACF/OCSE.
The AFCC claims their focus is on training judges, custody evaluators and mediators about custody and divorce issues. But in reality they are a father focused organization and promoting alienation theories to explain away family violence by men. In reality they act as a “clearinghouse” for organized case rigging. They hold conferences about parental alienation but never mention the many professional experts who have condemned it as harmful to children or the link to incest promoter Richard Gardner. Their scheme involves “recruiting” male litigants through fathers groups and federal HHS programs managed by the local child support agencies for program “services” which are ostensibly for helping non-custodial fathers get their visitation rights so they would have less incentive to default on child support obligations.
{{COMMENT: This has absolutely been my experience, and the Center for Policy Research link, and many others, tend to verify it. I pressed for child support, my kids were STOLEN, and this was rubberstamped. Have barely seen them for dust since….}}
Instead the fathers get deals to have their support obligations closed and sent to a program paid attorney to litigant [“litigate”] for custody. The judge hearing these cases proves [“provides”?] payments to the court-colluding fathers attorney and other supposedly “neutral” court evaluators. None of this is disclosed to the targeted female litigant who sometimes is also ordered to pay the fees of these court professionals (e.g. illegal double billing)..
The father is encouraged to file repeated motions (usually on frivolous claims of visitation denial or alienation) so the co-conspiring court professionals can get a steady stream of government payments. {{GOT THAT??}} It appears the judge handling these cases gets a kickback from those being paid (with his approval) based on a few exposed examples. This is what keeps their litigation game going and going. They label it high-conflict bitter custody litigation to hide their own fraud. The blame the mother for everything and keep her away from her children so she will be desperate to go back to court and get a chance to convince them of the truth (which of course they already know, and are exploiting perversely against her).
Basic Judicial ethics prohibits judges from belonging to organizations with people who appear before them in the court cases. However, this doesn’t stop the crooked AFCC affiliated judges from appointing Guardian at Litem (child’s attorneys) or court psychological evaluators who are AFCC members to the same cases which the AFCC member judge is handling. Also the AFCC conducts joint conferences with the CRC – fathers rights group – usually on the subject of Parental Alienation – which they all know has been discredited as being not a valid method for use in court evaluations.
{{NOTE: Like other organizations (me talking, again), AFCC may have some fine members. I know some. However, like our educational system, this system’s history and intent of the organization stands, and I stand by the above summary of it.}}
Other people on AFCC’s Board of Directors are many people closely associated with the Children’s Rights Council. Their favorite researcher — Sanford L. Braver, Ph.D. — was a recipient of a $10M federal grant. Braver, found, astoundingly, as a result of his study that after divorce, women do as well financially as men! Bradford and many other purported “neutral” expert evaluators all work in concert behind the scenes to issue rubber-stamp anti-woman, pro-abusive father evaluations for the primary intent of deliberately covering up for abusive fathers (as a protection racket fueled by federal program graft).
{{YOU WANT TO HELP KIDS? TRACK THEM THAR FUNDS AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT….}}
Left from previous news release above…
StopFamilyViolence. org is a national activist organization that works to ensure safety, justice, accountability and healing for victims of family violence. Irene Weiser coordinates the Family Court Reform Coalition, a coalition of advocates, professionals and organizations formed in response to the national crisis in the custody court system, where all too often, judge’s order children to live with abusers and punish, silence, or jail the parent who tries to protect the children from harm.
Irene Weiser
Executive Director
StopFamilyViolence.org
331 W. 57th St #518
New York, NY 10019
iw@stopfamilyviolence.org
OK, my commentary again. See next post (11-17-09) for next installment in this fiasco (or, business as usual, depending on one’s perspective)….
This mother eventually DID go to jail for failing to force her underaged daughter to allow her father to force himself on her, drive drunk, and other forms of child abuse. What a few judges with an agenda can do in a system that allows this . . . . We were pissed off, appropriately. I’m tired of that! This mother was sentenced to jail, in 30-day stints, until her girl went back for more of the same (as I heard it).
When the girl caved in, her mother was released. This story is still unfolding.
USA, folks, this is not Guantanamo, this is motherhood, USA. And she wasn’t even a single parent, this time. How’d you like to marry into that situation?
Unjustice and abuse affects EVERYONE….
It affects the next generation, assuming they live that long.
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Written by Let's Get Honest|She Looks It Up
November 16, 2009 at 6:29 PM
Posted in After She Speaks Up - Reporting Child Sexual Abuse, Cast, Script, Characters, Scenery, Stage Directions, Context of Custody Switch, Designer Families, Domestic Violence vs Family Law, Split Personality Court Orders, Where's Mom?
Tagged with Brave Young Adults, Child Molestation, custody, custody-switch, fatherhood, Lorraine Tipton, men's rights, Motherhood, obfuscation, Oconto County, retaliation for reporting, social commentary, U.S. Govt $$ hard @ work..