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“Parental Alienation” is Sign Language….Like “Domestic Violence”

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Don’t ask me why I decided to post this draft, revealing my thoughts the other day.  I don’t feel like telling.   Hope never dies that exposing verbal idiocy might result in a net reduction of it.

At least on the part of the consumers — the marketers, well, this language use is wise.

 

PART 1:

PARENTAL ALIENATION

 

The words “Parental Alienation” signify that somewhere on this earth, a certain business  sector, playing on human emotions, is prospering.  As does “domestic violence” “child abuse” “Children and Families” and “Fatherhood” (enough syllables, seems to roll well off the tongue), and “false  allegations,”  “resource center” and “batterers’ intervention,” “supervised visitation,” and the like.  These noun phrases are now just part of the landscape, and have developed their own specialized biosphere, with flora and fauna.

If you were a fine-feathered, raptor, and could soar with piercing vision, specialized hearing (and feathers) and incredible adaptations for dive-bombing your prey from on high in spirals, like the peregrin falcon, or hearing it underneath the snow, like certain owls (obviously I’ve been watching PBS here), and your prey were compromised populations, you JUST might be an initiative, a conference, a collaboration, a task force, a commission, or a nonprofit organization part of one of the above.

 

RAPTOR FORCE:  Eagles, Falcons, Hawks, and Owls

NATURE takes flight on an exhilarating ride with elite winged predators in Raptor Force.

Humans have had a unique relationship with raptors, nature’s aerial killing machines, for more than four thousand years, first through the ancient sport of falconry, and, more recently, as scientists and engineers have turned to these mighty birds — from golden eagles, red-tailed hawks, and turkey vultures, to great gray owls and the peregrine falcon — as the inspiration for the latest in aircraft design. Using the tricks and tactics of raptors as their model, engineers have devised fighter jets with unprecedented maneuverability and stealth.

In Raptor Force, you’ll learn the secrets of these astonishing aerialists, and how they’ve mastered, more than any other type of bird, the art of soaring. And with the help of engineer and falconer Rob MacIntyre’s ingenious miniature television station — a camera, transmitter, and battery small enough to be harnessed onto the backs of raptors — you’ll see for yourself what it’s like to fly with these deadly aces 

I already brought up the concept of the Family Law System as a Giant Squid, fearsome tentacles lurking in the dar, able to tear apart ships, the stuff of mythology.  Now it’s time to get the view from on high, the “Task Force” viewpoint, the elite, all-seeing, dive-bombing, never-see-it-coming social policy collaboratives (etc.).

 

Well, like raptors, they come in different flavors, and target different prey.  But they’re all aerial artists.  Some are solo, some fly in woods, some even work in teams, I learned through this show.

The owl uses sound — its ears are uneven.  Its specialized facial feathers help with that.

 

The peregrin falcon is a dive-bomber.  Specialized eye covering deflects flying sand particles, which at high speed, could sure hurt.

With birds, you can see this by their shapes, although closer look gets a finer appreciation.  With humans, one has to be more sensitive to language and behaviors to figure out whether they are distressed prey, congregants meeting to figure out what to do about distressed prey, or raptors coming in for those lower on the food chain.

Some go for distressed Dads.  Some go for distressed Moms.  So long as the conciliation code (at least in my state) rules that ANY couple having a squabble about custody, that squabble per se gives jurisdiction of their young to the raptors.  Excuse me, Conciliation Courts, a.k.a., later, Family Courts.  Now, what typically distresses said Dads, or Moms, is generally the other Parent.  Which brings us to “Parental Alienation.”

(1)

“Parental:”

Define “Parental.” Go ahead — I dare you.

 

For that matter, define “Parent.”  Go ahead.  I dare you, find an all-purpose word that fits all definitions, starting with the noun, before it became verbified (to parent) and adjectified (“Parental”), specified as to who has the kids (Custodial/noncustodial  —  a term also associated with prison, i.e., “taken into custody” as well as with winning a court debate, i.e., “custody granted.”), and finally market-niched (“Parenting classes”).

The word is already de-gendered, as if the world were not, or any of its 3 Abrahamic  world religions were not.

(meaning includes “obeying.”  This can get complicated in practice, as in:


ABC News

  • Prosecutor proposes jail time for parents who miss teacher conferences‎ – 4 hours ago
    Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy introduced a proposal Tuesday at a Detroit City Council meeting that would require a parent to attend at least one .
  •  

    In this case, the parent is childified…. and the prosecutor, in behalf of the education establishment, is parentified.  Ironically, the word “educare” has a root meaning of Lead Out, not Box In (or, Stuff in, as  in knowledge into people’s heads).

    PARENT:

    Now, like they say Eskimos have different words for snow, we have diversified words for “parent” — step-, bio-, surrogate- foster- adoptive- in addition to the older “grand-” (indicating biological).  Whoever the kids in custody are living with at the time, they had better obey the Residential Parent, or the court may just switch them to the other one, or to another type of breeding ground called Juvenile Hall.

    Such a diversity of language indicates a thriving business, and that obviously some parents are absent, or incompetent, or need supervision, etc.  Which just goes to show who the “real” parent is as to assigning custody, but the real “parents” are as to assigning responsibility for any screwups.

    Occasionally the word “father” or “mother” will show up in a new sarticle, or in a grants application, but generally, to say it’s neutral, it’s about custody rights, which means “PARENTAL.”  Glad I established that.  This word does NOT stand on its own when challenged — by anyone, almost — but it does mean, someone is  open for business.

     

    (2)

    Alien-ation

    Alien-Nation, etc.

    Let’s keep this one short.  I keep thinking about Arizona, where “aliens” are bad and you can be arrested for being alien improperly.  So, I’d have to say that “alien” is bad in connotation, even though much business is done by resident “illegal aliens,” and in fact, some business would close were it not.  Now, apart from UFO space-ship variety (promoting a different set of businesses, much of it digital, but also involving conferences…)

     

    “Parental Alienation” is bad if a parent does it, but good if you’re in the business of protesting it, or running seminars for judges about it.  The call “Parental Alienation” indicates a resonance to the AFCCNET.org philosophy that the goal is to reconcile marriages for the good of the nation.  So the net value is neutral (one group of parents and affiliated associations use this term, an opposing group opposes the use of this term.  This extends up into the stratosphere, where raptors flying around the Federal Aeyrie (?) can snag some grants to handle the problem, and plummet to street level with demonstration projects and initiatives.  So, it’s good for them.  Bad for taxpayers, I’d have to say.

     

    ============

    WHO SETS THE DEBATE? The debate is not “PARENTAL ALIENATION” v . “CHILD ABUSE” any more than it is, categorically, Fathers v. Mothers, or Conservatives v. Liberals.

    I see it as “teachers” vs. “taught.” My point in that last post is that I am no longer interested in the verbiage (pro/con) surrounding “alienation.” I am more interested in dishonest usage of the word “Parent” to obscure gender bias, but beyond that, I think it’s time to figure out the profit motive, and think seriously about the role of wealth (as opposed to jobs) in the larger picture. Then the networks become a little more plain to understand, beyond the rhetoric. ALthough I may not communicate it too well, an attempt is at the bottom of today’s post.

    Meanwhile . . . .

    Words are understood in their usage and in context, including who is speaking.


    Parental Alienation is essentially a term coined to get certain things done, including therapists into the legal process, and conferences training judges (etc.) about it, into certain people’s resumes. Perfectly reasonable and pre-existing terms to describe the same thing aren’t as good a market niche. For one, “Stockholm Syndrome” or “traumatic bonding” or “custodial interference” in context might do as well. Or “brainwashing” or “child abuse.”

    The debate about “Parental Alienation” is at a stalemate, but the field is full-throttle ahead, regardless of what any organization pronounces about it. It’s derailing the more important questions, and the distraction is intentional, I”m sure of it.

     

    PART 2:

    “Domestic Violence”

    Domestic Violence Industry Awareness Month – My Comments on this site, responding to another Press Article, by DV Nonprofit responding to a family (he killed his kids) fatality surrounding Battered Shelter & “Unsupervised Visitation” and judge “just not understanding.”

    After writing that comment (post-length, actually), I went back to TAGGS.hhs.gov and looked at how many (millions$) were going to Family Violence Prevention and Marriage/Fatherhood Promotion — in the same state. What a shocker. The real question is who is tracking BOTH sets of funding, and why not shut BOTH of them off, leaving some more funds at the local level, and perhaps some marriages might be less economically stressed, which might save lives (though poverty is no excuse for murder, nor is family “honor” !)

    This blogger “gets” the grants racket. Needless to say, this POV is not circulated prominently by the DV experts.

    Suggest just read the page. In case anyone wonders, I have never spoken to that blog author, I just happen to share many of the Points of View she reports (not all — for example, I’m not in favor of GPS ankle bracelets…). I suspect this will make sense to someone who has experienced some of the types of events she reports on.

    It’s a long page, worth scrolling all the way through (and reading).

    Www.FamilyLawCourts.com/Domestic.”

    Media rarely reports why these murders keep continuing. However, the reality is they’re profitable for the domestic violence businesses and police agencies seeking Grants.

    And so, rather than divorce or break up; we are treated to headlines, like Postal worker charged with murdering pregnant girlfriend but never a real, substantive investigation.

    So stories of failed mediation, follow. Murder – Suicide. Again.

    As opposed to just killing the “disgrunted” wife. A more common solution. Hans Reiser finally confesses he murdered Nina Reiser after proclaiming his innocence for so long; because of a remark she made.

    Kids willing and do, testify, but still these cases are kept in Family Court.

    Not only do Family Court judges continually protect the economically superior, the Executive Branch of government rather than enforce existing laws, under the guise of helping women through the Office of Violence Against Women, fund police departments, who are not legally required to respond to calls for enforcement of restraining orders, instead.  {{in which we see another blogger utilizes incomplete sentences...the “But also” is missing.  Actually, it’s in the next sentence.  Perhaps this writer’s sentence ligaments got torn in the process of a custody battle, like mine.pieces drop off in the execution of a thought.  Pun not intended...}}

    Worse, rather than use funds from their own budget, police departments request funds From DOJ for bullet-proof vests;so officers will be safer when answering calls; which may or may not include responding to calls from desperate women.

    See: “LAW ENFORCEMENT” or “ARREST.” Recent news:

    …and when might reporters out “Anger Management Classes” run by non-profits serve to buy a paycheck for the top management running them?

    San Francisco Anger Management Programs Don’t Work. However, there is no shortage of these “non-profits” meaning the individual doesn’t profit from their services, in any city and backed by any politician.

    Man on the way to Anger Management Class Attacks Woman

    Wouldn’t it be nice if women could get This kind of security?

    So domestic violence programs continue for the funding source they are, mostly without family court litigants being aware, how vested state and city officials are in micro-managing lives, . . . . .

    or

    To Discipline an Unethical Judge, Just Establish a Commission to Consider Whether To..

    Since 1960, with complaints about judges now totaling nearly a thousand per year, but only Sixteen judges have been removed from the State of California.

    Because the Commission on Judicial Performance, seldom performs, LA County, by necessity, instituted a separate body, to investigate,

    LA County Judges.

    Unfortunately, it was the non performance of the Commission on Judicial Performance, specifically the Commission’s private “reprimand” of two San Diego judges, now both, convicted felons to highlight public awareness to a body that will not act to protect the public from felons posing as judges.

    What began as a voter referendum forty years ago, has outlived its usefulness.

    Lack of judicial accountability in California is its own scandal, separate from the child abuse and gender bias perpetuated by judges running amok within the system.

    The budget for the Commission on Judicial Performance, is $3,704,000, distributed as follows.

    16 attorneys or counsel, and 10 support staff
    Total salaries & wages plus benefits paid $2,629,000
    Total support/operating costs $1,075,000
    Total Budget $3,704,000

    The major task of the Commission of Judicial Performance is to investigate complaints about judges.

    [From Sidebar:]

    Thirty-five percent of its roughly the four million dollar a year budget, is devoted to not opening an investigation after receiving complaints.

    This explains why, after receiving Nine Hundred complaints one year, the total number of judges who were “admonished” numbered, six.

    Six.

    Four million dollars, almost a thousand complaints, and six,

    “Don’t do that.” from the CJP

    As the numbers confirm, absolutely the Safest occupation in all California is being a bad judge.

     

    “Parental Alienation” & “Domestic Violence”

    • Street Level — this shows which infantry you are in.

    • Strategic Level – either way, it’s profit, but this is how task forces are delegate to one area or the other.

     

    Another blogger gets this — same as above, on the business of DV — now she weighs in on “Parental Alienation” (although, the Lauren & Ted case, last 2 posts, she took the opposite side I did), it just might be worth a read.

     

    A Nation of Stockholm Children (Aug. 2009, on Open Salon):

    In the continued coverage of the Jaycee Lee Dugard case, not likely to be reported is the larger issue of a nation roiling in an epidemic of Stockholm Syndrome kids.

    Media’s near total black-out of our nation’s busiest court, dooms our children while ensuring the decades long epidemic of Stockholm children will continue for generations.The most extreme form of parental alienation I’ve seen recently involved a custody dispute in Lawrence, Kansas with the children of Arthur Davis seemingly part of a plan to beat their mother to death with a baseball bat. During a 9-1-1 call, Arthur can be heard screaming in the background to his son, “Hit her harder.”

    From failing to educate the public to the profits of those who work in the divorce industry, or family court judges inappropriately adjudicating cases which should rightly be in criminal court;lack of media exposure ensures a nation of damaged children will become damaged adults.

    Who profits? Therapists.

    . . .(KEEP READING . .. . )

    I’m not sure media blackout is the issue, but media spin, and a public so overwhelmed with info, they cannot process it. We do not know how the critical “operating systems” of the country actually work, including courts, law enforcement, government, and the role of religion in all this, child support systems, and the increasingly tightening of networks through the Internet.

    Note: I cannot continue “teaching” (publicizing) through posts until my Internet access is up to speed (i.e., MHz very slow!). Just continue to keep in mind: The U.S.A. is the world’s largest per capita jailor, and captive audiences are captive for demonstrations of the latest theories, behavioral management techniques, or justification for (yet more) grants.

    I saw a poster on a blog that says what to do, well enough:

    Gandhi

    It’s time to remember what this man did, and how he did it.

    Also, to understand the INNATE characteristics of money — which is to congregate at centers of wealth, and drain from the extremities. That’s the kind of money the U.S. (at least) has, i.e., that which we BUY at interest, which will never be paid off, from the Federal Reserve. There are reasons we “have” to become a nation of consumers, and that failing to consume enough of what we really don’t need (and makes us sick, in some cases) has become an indication of “treason.” In examining the courts from the roots up, it does go to Washington, D.C., and to understand the monetary setting of policy by super-wealthy foundations and families (through government, through universities, etc.), it’s also necessary to grasp, even if dimly, that the North/South (?) division of the globe into countries forced to become export economies, rather than self-sufficient, to pay off THEIR debt — means that those products have to come back to the more industrialized countries. Yeah, I”m an armchair economist, but search “Susan George” on this blog (or just get the book) for a clue.

    The Internet flattens, but access (or restricted access) to it also further segments society. The section in Maroon in yesterday’s post bears follow-up (if you can).

    Here, is a description of what centrally based (and non-bona fide) money does to communities:

    THE PROBLEM WITH CONVENTIONAL MONEY:

    • It is partisan
      Money as we know it is not a neutral service provided by the government. Our money supply is created by private financial institutions on a for-profit basis. This money system is designed to benefit those who provide it, not those who use it.
    • It is based on debt
      Money is created when banks grant loans. Thus for every unit created there is one unit of debt.
    • We are encouraged to think of it as a ‘thing’
      Money is essentially information and has no physical existence yet banks encourage us to think of it as a ‘thing’ so that they can ‘lend’ it to us and thereby make a profit by charging interest. ‘Thing’ money also has to be created, distributed and controlled so that there is not too much of it. It can also be stolen, lost, bought, sold and counterfeited, with serious consequences for everyone.
    • It is permanently scarce
      The money to pay the interest on debt-money is never created. There is therefore a permanent shortfall of money to pay back both the principal and the interest.
    • It causes cancerous growth
      Banks continuously need to create more money than is required to pay back their loans so that borrowers can pay back the interest on those loans. This is the source of the growth imperative of our economies. There must be a continual expansion of bank credit or else the economy goes into recession. Systemic growth leads to the environmental problems we now all face.
    • Its value is based on its shortage
      The shortfall of money keeps it valuable. There only needs to be enough of it to buy back the goods and services available. This has nothing to do with the monetary requirements of people. Those who have none are not seen by the market and so are marginalised.
    • It is expensive
      Every unit of conventional money is based on a unit of debt. This debt has to be paid back with interest, and the interest on the interest is compounding. Interest is built into the prices of everything we buy, resulting in higher consumer prices.
    • It redistributes wealth from the poor to the wealthy
      Usury is the tool used by the wealthy to suck wealth from the poor and middle classes to the moneyed class. Parasitism and class antagonisms are the result of this.
    • It promotes dishonesty and corruption
      You can get it without delivering anything of value (e.g. speculation, interest, gambling etc.) so people concentrate on ‘making money’ rather than producing/delivering anything of real value. It is usually far easier to get money through dishonest means than by honest work. When you have no money you have no choice but to try and get it dishonestly
    • It leaks away from where it is created
      Conventional money knows no bounds and loyalty. It always leaks away to the ‘money centres’ (financial centres, big businesses, etc.)
    • It destroys local economies
      Goods produced cheaper elsewhere replace locally produced goods. This creates a local shortage of money and reduces the market for local sellers. This also results in the irrational transportation of goods all over the world, consuming precious fossil fuels and creating pollution.
    • It destroys community
      Dependence on money means we no longer need our neighbours. We can get everything from anonymous strangers in return for money. We have no obligation to anyone when the bills are paid. Every trade is a complete and closed action: you provide me with something and I give you money. End of story. No one does us any favours and we need do no favours for anyone.
    • It fosters competitiveness
      The shortage of money means we all have to fight for a share of an amount that is too small to go around. The need to repay interest means that we have to eat others to prevent ourselves from going under.
    • It creates poverty
      While it makes some super rich, it makes most people poor. Poverty is caused by a lack of money (not by a lack of jobs). Usury and the need to keep money scarce ensure that money constantly moves to those who already have money.
    • It causes social and cultural degradation
      The elimination of local opportunities to exchange and relate to one another focuses attention on ways of getting money outside the community. Communities fall apart as they become indebted to entities outside their communities.
    • And so many more …!

    Now let’s think a little bit about TIME. If a person is earning an hourly wage, then TIME in court is wages lost, to say the least. What about their “psychic” emotional and other energy. including creative and thought energies, which would otherwise be put into taking care of their own basic needs, and their family’s (such as it may be, if in a divorce or custody situation). It’s GONE from the mix. In waltzes in (federally, state, then “local” meaning, a child support agency at the county level) – and says we are going to transfer income from A to B. Consider the bureaurcarcy in that, and the antagonism it creates. Families have died over this. Let me repeat. I have yet to hear of a mother murdering over child support, but their is no lack of newsprint on fathers, in this context. His basic authority and social credibility — income producing — has been challenged by the government. Meanwhile, this same Child Support agency waltzes into the newly single mother’s life, perhaps (and if abuse was involved, likely newly poor single) and says, we will interface for you. And yet, this entire system, it later develops, has been co-opted as a custody-switching agency. A federalization of basic life processes. So I say, boycott it. It’s got the power to incarcerate — or not. At will, if a mother has signed over her rights as a result off initially going on welfare. (A fact not typically made much of — but in years to come, will figure highly in any contested case…).

    So, here are all these taxes going to socially engineer the country, and causing a lot of strife, and competition for working in the fields supported by this social engineering. How many of the services provided are the most basic ones that we couldn’t do without, and how many of the infrastructures and institutions created are transparent enough for the average participant to actually comprehend

    I am certainly not a go-back-to-the-farm proponent, but the codependency here is too much, upon JOBS. The key difference between “job” and “business” is who keeps the profits, and who gets to deduct expenses before taxes.

    People who were raised to just love what they do, and specialize in it, are called “professionals,” often, which brings up — who is going to pay for them to do what they love doing, and market it, contract it, do administration, etc. (unless people wish to “do it all” and “keep it small”?) One of the safest places to be a professional in a field that will rarely go away, is to do it for the US Government (I think). And in the courts, too.

    Well, there’s a lot more to all this, but the key in the courts is where is the money moving around to, whether through professional referrals, trainings, or simply directly from litigants to fees. Multiply that to all contested custody cases involving children, per state, be aware there are 50 states (and US territories), and think about it.

    There is, FYI, a two-tier court track:

    1. Can afford fees. They will be “soaked;” one party may be bankrupted later, or up front, to inspire more fights.

    1a. Then the therapists can come in and counsel how to reduce conflicts.

    2. Can’t afford fees. These will be the revolving door cases, but because there’s such an easy way to get INTO court again, any old OSC almost will do it, and most litigant’s aren’t smart enough to move to dismiss up front (on any of a variety of grounds), these will repeatedly be brought back to court — and possibly produce a candidate for food stamps, SSI, or some other part of the welfare system to continue justifying its existence. Their data will be mined for further studies by social scientists (etc.) in remote locations.

    2a. Occasionally a 1a or a 2a may result in someone going off the deep end, with a weapon. However, as this eventually causes social and economic deterioration, over a period of decades, no lack of new, fresh faces for the family law system (and associated professions).

    Just a little more on “interest”:

    compound interest: the 8th wonder of the world...not exactly!

    The first source of plunder upon your wealth is the concept of compound interest. Have you heard that the best thing you can do with your money is to let it compound? Such statements are everywhere. “Compound interest is the next best thing since sliced bread.” Do not let these statements fool you. Compound interest is a wealth erosion strategy that has cost the American people billions of dollars.

    Why is compounding interest one of the most devastating wealth-eroding techniques? How could having your money grow and compound be bad for anyone? Those who plunder your wealth want you to believe that earning a high rate of interest, and leaving it to compound over a long period is to your financial advantage. Billions of advertiser dollars are spent on promoting this technique to many unwary consumers.

    We will present the facts about compound interest. Make sure that you read this material slowly. Use a calculator or computer as you read to verify the accuracy of our numbers and findings. This lesson could save you millions of dollars over your lifetime.

    Basically this site is reminding us that, compounding interest or not, what about taxes?

    (co. 2004-2008, Evans Financial Group)

    My point being, OK, OK,
    be aware of the rhetoric,
    but pay attention to common “cents” on where the “dollars” are going.

    In some respects, could any ex be worse than this system long-term? The answer in many cases is, yes. But, maybe a civic duty is to get the field reports out, for posterity.

    What are ALL the relevant elements of any situation — as best you can ascertain them.

    Which of those are actionable — now, and in the long run.

    What can you do not to overwhelm your personal comprehension system into “Paralysis”?

    The human psyche can absorb a LOT of information (varies with individuals), but to act on it is natural. I think that overload jsut builds up tension and frustration, and a sense of powerlessness. To know what to act on, with purpose towards a certain goal, is critical to humanity. Being in systems of such chaos (and corruption) as these family law systems, is dangerous to the health. It tests character to handle it.



    To give this post a semblance of structure, I’d like to conclude the way I started:

    Don’t ask me why I decided to post this draft, revealing my thoughts the other day.  I don’t feel like telling. “

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