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Posts Tagged ‘parental kidnapping

Yet another AFCC-style wet dream… Someone needs to mop up around here.

with one comment


From the “High Conflict Institute”


No longer are DIVORCEs or FAMILIES “high-conflict” but “People” are.  In fact, the issues are not the issues either.  When someone comes up to you with an issue — they don’t really mean what they say  and are not to be taken at face value (ask the forensic psychologists).  The REAL problem with family courts isn’t the family courts, and it isn’t even high-conflict families, or high conflict all by its rocky-mountain-high self.  The REAL problem is high-conflict people.  Buy this book to know if you’re dealing with one:

Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

This book is advertised with others on alienation at the NCRC (more, below), as they are in the same professional circles.  In fact, it appears he’s on the payroll here (or is “Senior Family Mediator”) as well as his own split-off “High conflict institute” (see last sentence at the link I just provided).

NCRC: National Conflict Resolution Center

Books by William Eddy, LCSW, Esq.

Bill Eddy provides Divorce and Family Law Mediation at NCRC as well as training for family law attorneys and other professionals at the High Conflict Institute. Please visit HCI atwww.highconflictinstitute.com for more information on Mr. Eddy’s trainings. He has written numerous books on the subjects of families and high conflict personalities, listed below.
  • High Conflict People in Legal Disputes
  • Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing a Borderline or Narcissist
  • Understanding & Managing High Conflict Personalities (DVD Set)
  • Don’t Alienate The Kids! Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High Conflict Divorce
  1. It’s All Your Fault!

Bill sure was ahead of his AFCC time.  While others were simply developing and lobbying for more parenting coordinator rights in Florida, Texas, and wherever — he was writing this book explaining that the Issue is not the Issue, and all the conflict in the family law venue really comes from disordered personalities in the court system.

Protect Yourself from Manipulation, False Accusations, and Abuse

Divorce is difficult under the best of circumstances. When your spouse has borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or is manipulative, divorcing can be especially complicated. While people with these tendencies may initially appear convincing and even charming to lawyers and judges, you know better—many of these “persuasive blamers” leverage false accusations, attempt to manipulate others, launch verbal and physical attacks, and do everything they can to get their way.

Splitting is your legal and psychological guide to safely navigating a high-conflict divorce from an unpredictable spouse. Written by Bill Eddy, a family lawyer, therapist, and divorce mediator, and Randi Kreger, coauthor of the BPD classic Stop Walking on Eggshells, this book includes all of the critical information you need to work through the process of divorce in an emotionally balanced, productive way.

I find it odd that he’s working with the author of “Stop walking on Eggshells” which someone gave me about halfway through the divorce fiasco, post-restraining order.  They meant well, but like Lundy Bancroft’s “Why Does He DO That” — and regardless of some truths it may have held, neither one (conveniently) mentions the custody racket, financial incentive, fatherhood funding, welfare reform or in short anything which would give me a concise narrative of why the courts don’t take death threats followed by family suicide, or a stalking combined with previous death threats and violence, seriously — and insisted on psychologizing all terms.  People who have lived with this (and I acknowledge it exists) don’t need guides — they need out of the relationship.

Which is precisely what people working with the organization Mr. Eddy helps market through, are not going to let happen.  Nope.  If we wish to detach from a borderline personality, abuser, or simply an ex (and birth happened in there somewhere), we WILL be forced, most likely, to deal with an AFCC-devotee somewhere along the way — or most of the way along the way.

I have the book “Stop Walking on Eggshells” and it didn’t take to long to recognize it was an updated rebuttal of a 1970s feminist classic, (shown in 2005 version) Women and Madness

Cover of Women and Madness

It asks:

Why are so many women in therapy, on psychiatric medication, or in mental hospitals? Who decides these women are mad? Why do therapists have the power to deem a woman mentally ill when she asserts herself sexually, economically, or intellectually? Why are women pathologized, but not treated, when they exhibit a normal human response to abuse and stress – including the lifelong stress of second-class citizenship?

Phyllis Chesler confronts questions like these and persuasively argues that double standards of mental health and illness exist and that women are often punitively labeled as a function of gender, race, class, or sexual preference. Based on in-depth interviews with patients and an analysis of women’s roles in myths and history, Women and Madness is an incomparable work.

Originally published in 1972, this classic has sold over two-and-a-half million copies. Passionate and informative, with a new introduction that examines the trauma of psychiatric labeling and envisions a psychology of liberation for the ages, this special twenty-fifth anniversary edition of Women and Madness remains frighteningly up-to-date.

By now there should also be one called “Children and Madness,” for the labeling children get when they report abuse, when they are active and assertive, and when they need to be controlled after any of the above.   That’s been documented elsewhere, and comes under

Psychotropic Drug Abuse in Foster Care Costs Government Billions  :

A troubled child who had previously suffered from neglect, sexual assault and abusive parenting, Gabriel spent the previous year shuttling among several foster parents while taking a constellation of anti-psychotic medicines, including Lexapro and Vyvanse, to control his depression and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Like most children in Florida foster care, Medicaid paid Gabriel’s medical expenses.  Just one month before his suicide, Gabriel’s doctor prescribed him Symbyax, an anti-depressant restricted for treatment of children. The medication’s FDA-requiredlabel features a warning that use of the drug by children or teenagers can lead to suicide.

 does not meet criteria established by Congress for Medicaid reimbursement, so it is illegal for Medicaid to pay for a prescription of the drug to a child. Sohail Punjwani, the doctor who prescribed Symbyax for Gabriel, received a stern letter from the FDA about his history of over-prescribing mental health drugs.


AS QUOTED IN “SAFE RELATIONSHIPS (on-line) MAGAZINE”, which is from (inhale — it’s a long title):

The Institute for Relational Harm and Public Pathology Education

Sandra L. Brown, M.A., CEO of The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Pathology Education holds a Masters Degree in Counseling with a former specialization in personality disorders/pathology. She is a program development specialist, lecturer, community educator, and an award-winning author.

Her books, CD’s, DVD’s, and other training materials have been used as curriculum in drug rehabs, women’s organizations and shelters, women’s jail and prison programs, school and college-based programs, inner city projects, and various psychology and sociology programs and distributed in almost every country of the world.

(I notice she is on the board of EVAWINTL.org, End Violence Against Women International — which is having a San Diego Conference in 2012.  See fine print at the end, purple background) (Note:   I’m a little disturbed by not being able to find this as an EIN or as a corporation in NC (where EVAW listed her), or nationally, although there is an active speaker itinerary and clearly training for therapists at $635-$735 a pop in Hilton Head, SC this coming January.  So, is she paying taxes, and is this a fictitious name registered there — or anywhere? Just tried about 5 searches, including registered name, NC corporations, SC corporations, 990 finder, NCCSdataweb and even the IRS finder, plus USPTO (for registered mark )  I think the credentials bear checking out (and remember trying to some years ago also).  See claims on the site and this linkedin description:

Sandra Brown, M.A.

CEO at The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Pathology Education

Asheville, North Carolina Area 
Professional Training & Coaching Current
  • CEO at The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Pathology Education
  • Executive Director at Bridgework Counseling Center
  • Pathologist at The Manors Psychiatric Hospital Education
  • Liberty University
286 connections


  • Company Website

(the linkedIn shows her a member of almost every mental health organization around — it’s unusually long string, and yet the only education shown is “Liberty University” (no state), M.A. — which doesn’t add up.  Sorry:

Executive Director Bridgework Counseling Center

January 1987 – January 1998 (11 years 1 month)

Founder and director of a large multi-faceted mental health program focused on trauma disorders and psychopathology.

Degree — M.A. in Counseling from “Liberty University” ? ? ?

Offered outpatient services, residential treatment, program consultant to inpatient hospital programs, and clinical training to therapitss.


The Manors Psychiatric Hospital  (“the Manor” ???in Santa Monica,  here?  or idea for the name from here?  Anclote Manor/The Manors/Northpointe Behavioral Health?, which was shut down in 1997, demolished in 2001 . . or ??????)

April 1993 – August 1996 (3 years 5 months)

Inpatient unit for Women’s Trauma Disorders.

Liberty University is a Christian University with huge on-line segment, apparently.  (Houston, I think we have a problem here)

Liberty University Christian College Education


For 40 years, Liberty University has been training champions for Christ.Liberty University is now the nation’s largest, private, non-profit Christian college and…

She is among some better-documented colleagues at the Relationship Training Institute (San Diego) as “Guest Lecturer”:

Guest Faculty:

Russell Barkley, Ph.D., University of Massachusetts Medical School
Sandra L. Brown, MA, CEO, The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Psychopathy Education*

William Eddy, JD, LCSW, President of High Conflict Institute (=original topic of this post).

*I personally think anyone that can make up a corporate name that long and call herself CEO, possibly has a personality disorder…. what, actually, is the work history? Who is the EVP of the “IRHRPE” — and if it’s a nonprofit, GIVE ME AN EIN#!!!  — Should I check the Liberty University degree, too?  Particularly distressing is lack of any geographical identification on Ms. Brown’s LinkedIn profile:

I have worked in the field of mental health, relationships, psychopathology, and personality disorders for the past 20 years. I have been involved in program development, program services, publishing, Model of Care development and treatment issues in a wide range of delivery modalities.
Author of six books and many e-books, CDs, DVDs, and other products related to pathology.
Therapist trainer, program consultant, key note speaker

It does not say she was actually a therapist, which has certification requirements.  She’s definitely adept as a publicist and getting speaking engagements.

Also, what — exactly – is “Founder and director of a large multi-faceted mental health program” (Bridgework Counseling Center)??  “program” like the word “Center” like the word “Institute” could mean almost anything, and the leader is left to fill in the dots and assume a real clinic, hospital, or other situation is involved.  I find the repeated use of all of them without tangible (real-world, not just on-line), well, odd.  Were there employees that she directed after founding this wonderful place that I can’t find any on-line identity for, either?

OK, in Florida, listed under “Survivor and Victims’ Resources, by Holli Marshall, Mar 21, 2009:

Bridgework Counseling Center, Inc. & Sanctuary

The Sanctuary Group Home
1634 Nebraska
Palm Harbor, FL. 34684
Attn: Sandy Brown/ph:(813)530-4199
The Sanctuary at Bridgework is for women who have sustained multiple emotional traumas beginning in childhood and extending through adulthood. They have developed disorders requiring assisted living and rehabilitation.


( . .  rrr:    A FL group Sandra L. Brown (agent/officer) called Bridgework Ministries, Inc. — EINV 592940904 — that got itself revoked for failure to file — DID have a NC address also.  I don’t feel like tracking it further).

ANYHOW ….Her theme is the the public is scandalously undereducated about the prevelance of pathology throughout our society:

The Problem of the Unrecognized Face of Pathology

We live in an age where ‘Positive Psychology’ has ingrained a mantra into society’s psyche–that if you think it (the psychopath needs to change his behavior), then you can make it happen (our relationship will be successful when he changes). That may be true when you begin with a person who has normal psychology. But it’s a long way from being true for those who have pathology.

That’s funny — because the courts are all into interventions & educations (whether marriage, parenting, co-parenting, etc.) and sure they can change behavior permanently for the best interests of the kids, right?

Sandra Brown just happens to be making up for the gap in the public’s awareness of the psychopaths next door (although from the newspaper headlines, this ought to be clear enough), and everyone responds afterwards “what a nice family they seemed to be” “but he was so devoted to his son!”  and so on.

WELL, moving on from the pervasive but puzzling personality with associations in:

Personality Disorders Appearing in Family Court

by Bill Eddy, Esquire, L.C.S.W.

Probably the most prevalent personality disorder in family court is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) 
more commonly seen in women. BPD may be characterized by wide mood swings, intense anger even at benign events, idealization (such as of their spouse — or attorney) followed by devaluation (such as of their spouse — or attorney).

Also common is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) — more often seen in men. There is a great preoccupation with the self to the exclusion of others. This may be the vulnerable type, which can appear similar to BPD, causing distorted perceptions of victimization followed by intense anger (such as in domestic violence or murder, for example the San Diego case of Betty Broderick). Or this can be the invulnerable type, who is detached, believes he is very superior and feels automatically entitled to special treatment.

I noticed this some months back, but didn’t get around to blogging it yet.  They had apparently been running out of ways to work the words “high-conflict” into a sentence (substituting for accurate descriptions of concrete events with identifiable actors), let alone names for conferences that pair the words “high-conflict” with alienated.  For example here’s a cute one (only from 2010):

AFCC 47th Annual Conference

Traversing the Trail of Alienation: Rocky Relationships, Mountains of Emotion, Mile High Conflict 

June 2-5, 2010
Sheraton Denver Downtown
1550 Court Place
Denver, Colorado

Conference Brochure (PDF)
Verification of Attendance (PDF)
Order conference audio CD’s or MP3’s 
Plenary Sessions Audio (MP3)
AFCC members can access these sessions by logging on to the AFCC Member Center.

I suppose this was kind of cute, about as cute as running a mock coronation in the U.S. Senate Dirksen building for a would-be world Messiah (the True Parents to the world) — or like some San Francisco family law judges at play, dressing up as the kings and queens of Camelot:    But it’s not cute, really…  I believe it shows an inner desire to actually BE royalty, which could be problemmatic when legislators and/or judges don’t have good boundaries.

Here’s from 2011:

Regional Training Conference

Working with High Conflict and Violent Families: A Race with No Winners

HyattRegencyIndianapolis • October27-29,2011

Home of the Indy 500.  How cute. SOmetimes they  just HAVE to let a word about violence slip in there — but not without “high Conflict” and of course Parenting Coordination (got to remember this market niche) and more Interventions.   Sometimes, they all kind of are just patched together for effect — I guess it works to those for whom this language is normal, but to me, it sounds kind of like kids throwing oil paint around — and they aren’t Jackson Pollock,** either:

5. integrating domestic Violence interventions with Parenting coordination to Protect children in high conflict Families

(interesting title capitalization for a brochure)

Though parenting coordination is designed to implement and monitor parenting plans for high conflict families, domestic violence in the parenting dynamic necessitates deeper professional intervention and refined conflict management skills. This work-shop is designed to train parenting coordinators in domestic violence interventions appropriate for individual and couple work, to facilitate necessary parenting communication in a safe manner that will allow for successful parallel parenting and the promotion of a healthy relationship between each parent and their children.

Jackson Pollock, “Action painting.”  There seems to be a parallel, although I’d rather look at a Jackson Pollock than wade through AFCC conference verbiage:

Pollock was the first “all-over” painter, pouring paint rather than using brushes and a palette, and abandoning all conventions of a central motif. He danced in semi-ecstasy over canvases spread across the floor, lost in his patternings, dripping and dribbling with total control. He said: “The painting has a life of its own. I try to let it come through.” He painted no image, just “action”, though “action painting” seems an inadequate term for the finished result of his creative process. Lavender Mist is 3 m long (nearly 10 ft), a vast expanse on a heroic scale. It is alive with colored scribble, spattered lines moving this way and that, now thickening, now trailing off to a slender skein. The eye is kept continually eager, not allowed to rest on any particular area.** Pollock has put his hands into paint and placed them at the top right– an instinctive gesture eerily reminiscent of cave painters who did the same. The overall tone is a pale lavender, maide airy and active. At the time Pollock was h[a]iled as the greatest American painter, but there are already those who feel his work is not holding up in every respect.

**”the eye is kept continually eager ,not allowed to rest on any particular area.” — with the AFCC rhetoric, it’s similarly for effect.  Resting — examining — the central concepts, most don’t hold water, and certainly not in the larger context of the real world to which these theories are applied.  There’s a craziness to the grammar also; words are made-up and assembled in officious-sounding terms which boil down to — “we want to do business as running your business, but have a judge approve this as somehow in the best interests of your children.”

(reread the workshop paragraph):

Excuuuuse me?  See how messy it gets when an AFCC person slips up and admits that domestic violence occurs?  They can’t speak straight.  High-Conflict is typically used to mask the word Domestic Violence, or dilute and distract from any focus on it.  The term doesn’t work so well in other applications.   For example, what is “domestic violence in the parenting dynamic” — exactly?  And when someONE perpetrates a domestically violent ACT (or series of acts) upon another or other(s), this is not “parenting dynamic” it is crime.  At that point, are or are not these professionals mandated reporters, or self-appointed euphemism devisers? And if these are reported and prosecuted properly, someone is going to be either in jail — or not “parenting.”

GRAMMAR — (this has been going on for decades in the same circles within family courts).   The phrase “domestic violence in the parenting dynamic” detaches the violence from its agent — and squarely distributes the blame on both parents, or (even more detached) on the abstract “parenting dynamic.”  Even the word “parenting” is a fairly recent piece of jargon, although widely accepted now.   People have been giving birth and living in families, or groups for millennia, but only recently was the artificial “parenting” developed to an art form and a segmented activity, opposed (I guess) to “schooling.”  The concept of warehousing people by age group is much more recent.  A person who has been targeted for abuse is NOT responsible for that abuse, yet grammatically holding them responsible justifies the “bring on the experts, the counsellors” which is what AFCC intends to do.  In this dynamic, civil & legal rights, including for the children, just walked out the front door.

How alienated that prose is.  Domestic Violence in the parenting Dynamic.”

Of course, thanks to many other “dynamics” in our society, these people often do NOT go to jail and DO end up “parenting” (samples provided below).   Part of the reason why they do relates to conferences like this by people who make decisions.  I find the passive descriptors taking the easy way out of a dilemma their (AFCC’s) forefathers committed years ago, i.e., trying transform language, stop divorce (and congratulate themselves for doing so0 and BRING ON the psychologists and counselors to make a better world.  (How’s that been going, incidentally, of late?)

What kind of thought process (“dynamic”) would lead any professional to include that he or she can truly promote a healthy relationship without stopping the domestic violence, first of all, by naming it and reporting it, then, to the extent possible, prosecuting it?  If we are still to believe it works, go ask a young woman from San Francisco, Anastasia Melitchenko.  Good luck on getting her opinon (and no children involved in this one, even….).  The workshop was in 2011 — and yet by 2005 in California, it had been repeatedly proved that domestic violence counseling (“intervention”) with habitual batterers can fool even the smartest counselors.

Perhaps they aren’t all that smart — perhaps “intervention programs” isn’t even a good idea to start with.  This idea also has an origin (can you spell D-U-L-U-T-H and “Collective Community Response”?)  Coordinating Community Response to Domestic Violence:  lessons from Duluth by Melanie Shepard, Ellen Pence (google book, see p. 42 or search DAIP)

It doesn’t seem to phase the collective organizations dealing with divorce at all when people die around this.  Just some language adjustments, that’s all.  By the way, you can’t ask Anastasia whether intervention worked for her man.  It didn’t, not even the Primary Male Center for Peaceful Living (2005).

It also didn’t work on Scott DeKraii this past fall either (although actually, after he beat up his stepfather, I don’t know whether he attended the 52-week batterers’ program, before going on to murder his wife — and 7 others .(2011)   But notice — the class was ordered.    The Huffington Post article is one of the few to actually track some history and quote his stepfather, “he’s never been held accountable; he’s always been bailed out of everything.” A restraining order meant, give up firearms — but it was only for a year.  “

When his stepfather, Leroy Hinmon, asked him for rent, Dekraai attacked him in front of his mother and 4-year-old son.

“He was beating him up, slapping him around,” Max Hinmon said. “He worked my brother over pretty good.”

The police were called and Leroy Hinmon got a temporary restraining order in August 2007.

Dekraai, who didn’t dispute the claim that he cut and bruised the older man,

Just imagine if that had been a 3-year restraining order, and some jail time.  Somehow, by Fall 2011, Scott had obtained – and used — plenty of firearms.  …. Also a little “under-reported” in the Seal Beach Shooting (which DeKraii committed), and although — to be clear — this attorney was NOT his attorney in 2011, one former attorney, Donald S. Eisenberg of Long Beach, CA — is definitely AFCC, and a supporter of Warshak, Sanford Braver, and many others who absolutely affirm equal parenting (some discussion below) and filed in 2003 to protest the “LaMusga moveaway.”:

Supreme Court Case No. S107355

Court of Appeal Case No. A096012

Contra Costa County Superior Court Case No. D95-01136

Application for Leave to File Amicus Curiae [i.e., they missed the deadline]

In re the Marriage of SUSAN POSTON NAVARRO (LAMUSGA) Appellant and GARY LAMUSGA,  Respondent

Donald S. Eisenberg (SBN 68859) 6700 E. Pacific Coast Highway Suite 220 Long Beach, CA 90803

Tel: — – – – – Fax: – – – – –

Attorney for Amici Curiae, Richard A. Warshak, Ph.D.; Sanford L. Braver, Ph.D.; Joan B. Kelly, Ph.D.; James H. Bray, Ph.D.; William G. Austin, Ph.D., et al.

It reads in part (in justifying why the court should hear them):

. . . Amici believe that the participation in this brief by so many leading experts from the social and psychological sciences is a reflection of the widely-shared conviction in their respective fields that it is important this Court not be misled by opinions and conclusions that are not shared by most eminent scholars, researchers, and practitioners who have spent long years conducting, evaluating and applying the research

In other words, their most eminent selves, who’ve been around a very long time, deserve a hearing.  Mr. Eisenberg, again, was the attorney, not those seeking to write the brief.

In their proposed amici curiae brief, they present the Court with the latest research available and the consensus thinking of the majority of social scientists on the causes and effects of unhealthy parental alignment with children, the consequences for families of parental relocation, the reasons for caution in considering children’s opinions, and many other issues that are highly relevant to the issues in this case…..

A total of 28 experts, including 18 Researcher/Authors or Practitioner/Authors and 10 Practitioners who apply research in their Family Forensic Practice have asked that their names be included as signers of this brief.

WELL, 28 experts, 18 researcher or practitioner authors (i.e., the wrote & published), and 10 Family Forensic Practice practitioners can’t all be wrong.

What Eisenberg (obviously was going to be quizzed after a former client committed a beauty salon massacre, including of the mother of his son) said:

Published: Oct. 12, 2011 Updated: Oct. 14, 2011 1:59 p.m.
Text: Text: Larger Text: Smaller Text: Reset Next Article »


HUNTINGTON BEACH – Neighbors of a house searched late Wednesday in connection with the deadliest shooting in Orange County history said one thing stood out about the man who lives there: His total devotion to his son.

Police identified Scott Dekraai as their suspect in the midday shooting at a Seal Beach beauty salon that left eight people dead; he was being held on suspicion of murder. Court records show he has been fighting his ex-wife – who colleagues said worked at the salon – for custody of their son since 2007

Dekraai married the woman who is now his ex-wife in Clark County, Nev., in early 2003, records show. He filed for divorce in Los Angeles County in 2007, a month after his tugboat accident, court records show.

His attorney at the time, Don Eisenberg, said Dekraai gave him “no reason to suspect a thing.” Another attorney has since taken the case, and Eisenberg said he hasn’t heard from Dekraai since 2009.

“I know they had a difficult relationship,” he said of Dekraai and his ex-wife. “But that’s nothing that would foreshadow a tragedy life this.”

That’s kind of interesting — because in August 2007 the same man got a restraining order for beating up his stepfather in front of his son.  That also puts another viewpoint on “devoted to his son” who — 4 at the time — witnessed this.  if I may gently propose, it is habitual in some circles — in the family law system, specifically — to underplay overt violence towards other human beings, not to mention threats to kill one’s ex.

Mr. Eisenberg presenting at an AFCC conference in 2008 (at which time, Mr. DeKraii would’ve been his client, no?

The Rosetta Stone of Child Custody:

The Bar, the Bench, and Mental Health Experts Decoding

Each Other’s Philosophy and Practice

Feb 8 – 10, 2008 in Santa Monica, CA

AFCC has consisted of “The Bar, the Bench and Mental Health Experts” from the beginning — and they are still working on “Decoding” each other’s language?

Mr. Eisenberg presented alongside the Supervising Judge of the Los Angeles Family Law Department in this conference.  For geographical reference, basically Long Beach is right next to Los Angeles, and Seal Beach is right nearby also:

Donald S. Eisenberg, Esq., past chair of AFCC-CA, is a certified family law specialist practicing in Long Beach California. He has 30 years experience devoted to “human issues” in divorce such as domestic violence, parent education and custody evaluations and is a frequent speaker on those issues. He extensive experience in international Child Custody Law and has published appellate decisions. He has been retained by mental health agencies to advise counselors and interns on their rights and obligations in problem custody cases.  [[he was also on this conference’s planning committee..]]

the judge involved:

Hon. Robert Schnider has been the Supervising Judge of the Family Law Department of L.A. County Superior Court since 2005. In 2000, he became the only judicial officer assigned to family law ever to receive the L.A. Bar Association Outstanding Jurist Award. He is on the Board of the AFCC California Chapter and is on the Family Court Review editorial board. He was an adjunct professor at Loyola Law School teaching Family Law, has lectured for the Continuing Judicial Studies Program to teach family law to incoming California family law judicial officers and made presentations to many other professional organizations. He has authored and co-authored articles [[supporting? about?  — a word missing here]] presumptions for custody, court-ordered counseling, and legislative issues in family law.


Matthew Sullivan, Ph.D., is on the AFCC Task Force on Model Standards for Parenting Coordinators and Special Masters and on the American Psychological Association Collaborative Working Group on Psychological and Legal Interventions with Parents, Children and Families. He practices in Santa Clara County, California, specializing in forensic psychology. He has done numerous trainings and presentations nationally and internationally to mental health, legal, and judiciary groups. His publications include, “Ethical, Legal and Professional Practice Issues involved in Acting as a Psychologist Parent Coordinator in Child Custody Cases, “ Family Court Review, Vol. 41, No. 3, July 2004; “Guidelines for Parenting Coordination,” co-authored with AFCC Task Force on Parenting Coordination, Family Court Review, Vol. 44, No. 1, January, 2006; “Family Systems,” chapter co-authored with Jamie McHale, Handbook of Clinical Psychology, Alan Gurman (Ed.) 2007.

And — at this time when one of his clients was having a “normal” divorce with “nothing to anticipate” such a tragedy — and subject to a restraining order which resulted from his having beat up his stepfather in front of a four year old boy, his son — this is what the workshop was on:

W8 You Call Yourself an Expert: Critical Evaluation of Expert Testimony in Family Law Cases

Judicial Officers and attorneys are frequently presented with testimony from expert witnesses regarding parenting issues that are before the Court. Testimony may purport to summarize the state of psychological research or clinical wisdom, or present information based on therapeutic contact with a parent or child. Such expert testimony may provide important information to the Court, or may be so incomplete or biased that the information and opinions are misleading.** Effective presentation and evaluation of expert testimony presents challenges to judicial officers, attorneys, and mental health professionals.

What guidelines exist for presentation of expert testimony to the Court? Does the expert have a responsibility to present contrary evidence? How can one differentiate between reliable and unreliable expert testimony? How can expert testimony be effectively challenged? Using commonly encountered examples, our interdisciplinary panel will address these and other cutting- edge issues regarding consideration of expert testimony.

Presenters: Donald S. Eisenberg, CFLS; Lyn R. Greenberg, Ph.D.; Honorable Robert Schnider; Matthew J. Sullivan, Ph.D.  (see elsewhere on my blog)

**I agree.  Of course, I don’t think that these presenters view the terms “so incomplete or biased that the information and opinions are misleading” quite from the same perspective!


California Penal Code:   (since that’s my state):

13823.4.  (a) The Legislature finds the problem of family violence
to be of serious and increasing magnitude. The Legislature also finds
that acts of family violence often result in other crimes and social

[[I'm going to follow up on this section, which seems to be emphasizing 
more and more "centers" and alleging that they prevent something....]]


3823.15.  (a) The Legislature finds the problem of domestic
violence to be of serious and increasing magnitude. The Legislature
also finds that existing domestic violence services are underfunded***
and that some areas of the state are unserved or underserved.

Therefore, it is the intent of the Legislature that a goal or purpose
of the California Emergency Management Agency (Cal EMA) shall be to
ensure that all victims of domestic violence served by the Cal EMA
Comprehensive Statewide Domestic Violence Program receive
comprehensive, quality services.

[[** i’ll show below that DV services are actually well-funded —

but most of them are diversionary and put into education, training, and “Collective Community Responses”

which have had mixed results. Perhaps that’s why it is a problem of increasing and serious magnitude, when combined

with AFCC’s refusal to face it head on — and this is the group basically running the custody and divorce cases in the US]]

or, for example:

Family Code 3044 at least recognizes an actor in the “domestic violence” definition and doesn’t call it a “parenting dynamic”

  1. For purposes of this section, a person has “perpetrated domestic violence” when he or she is found by the court to have intentionally or recklessly caused or attempted to cause bodily injury, or sexual assault, or to have placed a person in reasonable apprehension of imminent serious bodily injury to that person or to another, or to have engaged in any behavior involving, but not limited to, threatening, striking, harassing, destroying personal property or disturbing the peace of another, for which a court may issue an ex parte order pursuant to Section 6320 to protect the other party seeking custody of the child or to protect the child or the child’s siblings.
(of course it then goes on to talk about batterer’s classes and parenting classes….)





 This section talks about mandated reporting and defines ASSAULTIVE OR ABUSIVE CONDUCT.  (NOTE:  Parental alienation and having “conflict” do not make the list…)

11160. (a) Any health practitioner employed in a health facility, clinic, physician’s office, local or state public health department, or a clinic or other type of facility operated by a local or state public health department who, in his or her professional capacity or within the scope of his or her employment, provides medical services for a physical condition to a patient whom he or she knows or reasonably suspects is a person described as follows, shall immediately make a report in accordance with subdivision (b): [all font changes are mine…] (1) Any person suffering from any wound or other physical injury inflicted by his or her own act or inflicted by another where the injury is by means of a firearm. (2) Any person suffering from any wound or other physical injury inflicted upon the person where the injury is the result of assaultive or abusive conduct. ..the behaviors are defined as follows:

(d) For the purposes of this section, "assaultive or abusive conduct" shall include any of the following offenses:
   (1) Murder, in violation of Section 187.
   (2) Manslaughter, in violation of Section 192 or 192.5.
   (3) Mayhem, in violation of Section 203.
   (4) Aggravated mayhem, in violation of Section 205.
   (5) Torture, in violation of Section 206.
   (6) Assault with intent to commit mayhem, rape, sodomy, or oral
copulation, in violation of Section 220.
   (7) Administering controlled substances or anesthetic to aid in commission of a felony, in violation of Section 222.
   (8) Battery, in violation of Section 242.
   (9) Sexual battery, in violation of Section 243.4.
   (10) Incest, in violation of Section 2...
(11) Throwing any vitriol, corrosive acid, or caustic chemical
with intent to injure or disfigure, in violation of Section 244.
   (12) Assault with a stun gun or taser, in violation of Section
   (13) Assault with a deadly weapon, firearm, assault weapon, or
machinegun, or by means likely to produce great bodily injury, in
violation of Section 245.
   (14) Rape, in violation of Section 261.
   (15) Spousal rape, in violation of Section 262.
   (16) Procuring any female to have sex with another man, in
violation of Section 266, 266a, 266b, or 266c.
 (17) Child abuse or endangerment, in violation of Section 273a or 273d. 
(18) Abuse of spouse or cohabitant, in violation of Section 273.5.

Interjection — I’m going to show “Section 273.5, at the righthand margin, which defines abuse of spouse or cohabitant. note the verbs:

(a) Any person who willfully inflicts upon a person who is his or her spouse, former spouse, cohabitant, former cohabitant, or the mother or father of his or her child, corporal injury resulting in a traumatic condition, is guilty of a felony, and upon conviction thereof shall be punished by imprisonment in the state prison for two, three, or four years, or in a county jail for not more than one year, or by a fine of up to six thousand dollars ($6,000) or by both that fine and imprisonment.

(b) Holding oneself out to be the husband or wife of the person with whom one is cohabiting is not necessary to constitute cohabitation as the term is used in this section.

(c) As used in this section, “traumatic condition” means a condition of the body, such as a wound or external or internal injury, whether of a minor or serious nature, caused by a physical force.

(d) For the purpose of this section, a person shall be considered the father or mother of another person’s child if the alleged male parent is presumed the natural father under Sections 7611 and 7612 of the Family Code.

(e) (1) Any person convicted of violating this section for acts occurring within seven years of a previous conviction under subdivision (a), or subdivision (d) of Section 243, or Section 243.4, 244, 244.5, or 245, shall be punished by imprisonment in a county jail for not more than one year, or by imprisonment in the state prison for two, four, or five years, or by both imprisonment and a fine of up to ten thousand dollars ($10,000).

(2) Any person convicted of a violation of this section for acts occurring within seven years of a previous conviction under subdivision (e) of Section 243 shall be punished by imprisonment in the state prison for two, three, or four years, or in a county jail for not more than one year, or by a fine of up to ten thousand dollars ($10,000), or by both that imprisonment and fine.

(f) If probation is granted to any person convicted under subdivision (a), the court shall impose probation consistent with the provisions of Section 1203.097.

When women, or men, who have been assaulted & injured read this in the law, if they do, they understand clearly that the law is saying;
that type of behavior is criminal and is against the State, and not just a "personal dynamic" and not just a "family matter." Groups
(including religious groups) that wish to keep it under wraps, and all-in-the-family, have a serious logic / reality gap, which results
in serious danger for . . . as it turns out not just victims, but people associated with them. While the custody evaluators may not have
figured this out yet (judging by their dialogues) the public is starting to. Failure to prosecute these crimes leaves others in danger, and 
increases the isolation of those who have already been isolated by the abuse.
That "shall be" is apparently not happening. See "District Attorney Discretion"
District Attorney Power Still Unfettered  (written 11 years ago, still true today, apparently)
A critical area for victims of rape, domestic violence, and child abuse that has been left ignored by legislators this year and in years past is the district attorney’s absolute power to refuse to file charges no matter how solid the evidence. Even if a district attorney refuses to file charges on a whole crime category, there is no legal remedy for victims.  

For example, at this writing, we at Women’s Justice Center (Sonoma County, “wine country, in N. California) have a case of three days of spousal rape, sodomy and beatings which the district attorney has filed only as misdemeanor domestic violence. The detective in the case states there is ample evidence to file multiple felonies.  In another case of a woman beaten to the point of a fractured skull, the D. A. refused to file at all for five months until one day the perpetrator went out and committed another assault with a deadly weapon on another victim. I

© Marie De Santis
Women’s Justice Center

Instead, the D.A.’s seem to be going around to open expensive new “family justice centers” as I have blogged, including one in Sonoma County, “Sonoma County purchased the 20,000-square-foot building last year for $4 million. Remodeling was expected to cost another $4 million….”  This is precisely what JusticeWomen talked about in “How to Start an INDEPENDENT Advocacy center and why”  Around the country, some of these center are starting to be associated with some egregious violations of due process, both in the original San Diego one (I blogged) and a recent case from Harford County, MD (which I received an appeal on from Phyllis Chesler mailing) turns out also to have been a “Family Justice Center.”  The mother in question had a child put into foster care, where it was killed at 9 months, and she is herself in hiding after being assaulted (per the site) in the jail itself.  Meanwhile, in Ohio, they are upset (justifiably) about a supervised visitation center — turns out to be funded through a “Ohio Families & Children First” & a statewide Children’s Levy — let a little girl be raped – during a supervised visit.  “No Need for a Special Prosecutor in probe of child rape at CSB,” though…  When citizens came to the CSB board meeting to hear about the review of this incident, they were forced to sign in, apparently a violation of the Ohio Open Meetings law was violated:   “Meanwhile, an attorney for the victim’s grandmother says CSB committed a “clear violation of the Open Meetings Act” Tuesday by preventing several people from attending a board meeting. Atty. David Engler, who represents Loretta Banks of Warren, filed a civil complaint Thursday in Trumbull County Common Pleas Court seeking an injunction to prevent the agency from barring citizens from future meetings”
Continuing the list. 
(19) Sodomy, in violation of Section 286.
   (20) Lewd and lascivious acts with a child, in violation of
Section 288.
   (21) Oral copulation, in violation of Section 288a.
   (22) Sexual penetration, in violation of Section 289.
   (23) Elder abuse, in violation of Section 368.
   (24) An attempt to commit any crime specified in paragraphs (1) to (23), inclusive.

I'm sure you can get the general idea from reading the descriptions. Question is -- so why can't the AFCC? And why do they persist
in focusing on other, LESS relevant topics, and insisting (by silence and evasive language) they are somehow MORE relevant?

In a September 2011 joint conference between AFCC & AAML, held in Philadelphia, called
Advanced Issues in Child Custody:

Evaluation, Litigation and Settlement

Join AFCC and AAML for an outstanding program designed for advanced-level family lawyers, mental health professionals, judges and others who work in child custody.

• Learn the latest advanced practice skills and strategies • Earn continuing education credit • Expand your practice through unparalleled networking opportunities • An interdisciplinary faculty of leaders in the field • The latest research on children, custody, separation and divorce

Topics include:

Witness Preparation Direct and Cross Examination

Child Development and Attachment

Child Relocation Disputes

Mental Health Consultation  [end of left column]

[top of right column] Parental Alienation

Psychological Testing

Domestic Abuse

Bias and Opinion Formulation

Ethics: Best Interests or Zealous Advocacy?

(you can check the brochure), the word “alienation” occurs 7 times, “conflict” 6, “domestic abuse” 6 times — but only in one sessions and references to that session, and “domestic violence” a word that is out of favor in these circles, only once – in passing, in the opening paragraph.  Just to check, I saw if there were any words referring to what is often the reason custody conflict goes on for years — and that is issues of sexual abuse of children, or allegations (in AFCC terminology “false allegations”) of it.  the word “molestation” doesn’t occur, or “child abuse” or “sexual abuse.”  the word “sex” occurred once — in the section under “Domestic Abuse” and not particularly in regard to children.  I guess these are hard topics for divorce professionals to have to deal with — so, better let the kids just deal with it on their own.  after reunification therapy….

Sponsored by:

Sponsoring Organizations //Pennsylvania Chapter of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers //Hofstra Law School (in NY)

No really — here’s the opening day, 2nd Pre-Conference Institute session of this Philadelphia Conference:

2. Advanced Mental Health Concepts: A Lawyers’ Guide to the DSM-IV-R and the Use and the Misuse of Psychological Evaluations in Litigation

Which sections of the DSM-IV-R are most relevant to family law cases and why? What are the pros and cons of having your client undergo a psychological evaluation? This session will provide a primer to the DSM for attorneys, highlighting those sections most applicable to a client’s parenting and co-parenting. Particular emphasis will be placed on the DSM Axis II (personality disorders) clients, who predominate high conflict custody cases. Procedural guidelines for psychological evaluation will be provided to increase its potential utility in a litigated child custody case.

Kenneth P. Altshuler, Esq., AAML President-Elect, Portland, ME

Matthew J. Sullivan, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist, Palo Alto, CA  (search my site, under Parenting Coordination sections, the name comes up)

Personality disordered clients dominate “high-conflict” custody cases.  Either that, or one parent might just be fighting to protect something, which the professionals choose not to hear, as in the recent case of Scott DeKraii v. Michelle Fournier, Orange County California (home of “Orange County Healthy Marriage Coalition), which had “watch out!” written  ALL over it, including antipsychotic medications, previous assaults on stepfather in front of 4 year old son resulting in a restraining order and “batterers’ intervention” classes, a man for whom more than 50% custody was not enough, a young man who’d begun attempting to have sex at age 12, and a man who had previously come to his ex-wife’s work place and threatened to kill her, in front of witnesses — after which he did.  And the witnesses, this past October.   Dealing with Deafness regarding situations like this might GIVE someone a personality disorder, after too many years of it, just as war veterans have certain symptoms too.

Here’s one more sample, which just goes to demonstrate the concept of using a domestic violence expert as a “heat shield” in certain companies — from the same conference.  As we can see the theme of Alienation is the primary (and first up) topic.  The world is viewed from this high point, for AFCC professionals:

Plenary Session #1—Preparing the Expert Witness

Robin M. Deutsch, Ph.D., Massachusetts General Hospital, Harvard Medical School, Boston, MA; Ken H. Lester, Esq., Lester & Hendrix, Columbia, SC 2:30pm-3:00pm Break

3:00pm-4:15pm Concurrent Sessions 1-4

1. Understanding and Responding to Parental Alienation

There is much debate and controversy over parental alienation—how to identify it and how to intervene effectively, both therapeutically and through the courts.

This debate often comes from the “floor” — from people not present at the conferences.  From people who understand the origins of the term, and the application to which Richard Gardner put it, i.e., a circuitous way to characterize a child, male or female, who doesn’t like being raped or molested.  That child is “alienated,” which  means bring on the court-referrals, and reunification camps — at least one of them run by one of the presenters here, Matthew D. Sullivan, as I recall.  An informal rate-the-courts site gives him a solid “F” as an evaluator (NOTE:  I am not in particular favor of this site, and know who’s behind it, but just making the point).  He is in the business — this is the business he is in, and AFCC is a business conference for people who have, by fortune or long-term lobbying, become entrenched in public institutions such as the courts, or for example (in California), the “Administrative Office of the Courts” — and this includes as judges.

The passive term– “there is much debate and controversy over” just goes to show that ALL PR is good PR and good for business. The controversy continues because this group continues to promote, push, and prioritize the term, while others have discredited it as lacking scientific basis, while many now-noncustodial mothers understand it as simply a legal technique to justify a custody switch when no other reason exists.   This has been known for years.  It makes no difference, however, when the conferences continue and the appointees, judges, evaluators, mediators, and other mental health professionals — continue to hold positions of authority over young children and their parents.

Children may resist or reject a parent for many reasons. In this session the presenters will summarize the consequences of alienation and discuss how to differentiate alienation from other types of parent-child contact problems, including justified rejection. Highlighting the essential role of the court, the present- ers will provide an overview of mental health interventions for mild, moderate and severe cases as well as the legal responses and remedies available.

Barbara J. Fidler, Ph.D., Co-author, Challenging Issues in Child Custody Disputes, Toronto, ON, Canada

Catherine H. Petersen, Esq., AAML Parliamentarian, Norman, OK4

Thursday, September 15, 2011

“justified rejection” is about as roundabout a term as one can get for child abuse, or other harmful behaviors.

2. Parenting Coordinateen 9ion

The hybrid mental health/legal role of the parenting coordinator (PC) is becoming increasingly utilized in custody cases where high conflict continues post decree, thus elevating children’s risk of stress and adjustment issues

Or, as the case may be, kidnapping, abuse, and/or murder.  Example:  Here is a man. Christopher D. Curry (and not the only Christopher D. Curry, obviously) that was arrested in Cleveland — recently — for whipping (beating) his 5 year old daughter for failure to know her alphabet well enough.  (Which brings up the question of, why didn’t the people who called 911 intervene faster?).   I have yet to find any mention in any news report (although it’s all over) of where was the mother?  Being curious, I went to the court docket (Summit County, Ohio) and found out that in 2003 she had filed a restraining order against him; someone by the same name and about the same age in the same region (although it’s a common name) did jail time for receiving stolen property, misdemeanor assault and was in a drug rehab program.

So — why was he caring for a five-year old, where was that little girl’s Mommy?  and why didn’t the new reports ask this question even once?

Police say Ohio dad beat girl over alphabet lesson.

Nov 11, 2011  (co. Associated Press 2011, posted at “abclocal.com” under National/World)

AKRON, OH — Police in Ohio have accused a man of beating his 5-year-old daughter because she was having trouble with her alphabet homework.

Akron police say the kindergartner was struggling to recognize the letter D on Tuesday when 39-year-old Christopher D. Curry became angry.

According to police, he picked the girl up by the neck and struck her in the head repeatedly.

The Akron Beacon Journal reports the child was treated at a hospital for bruises and cuts, including a left eye nearly swollen shut.

Curry has been charged with felonious assault, child endangering and domestic violence. He was {{was??}}being held in the Summit County jail with bond set at $100,000.

IS this the same person (b. 1973, this is 2011 — age sounds about 39)?

Here’s the 2003 restraining order:

Filed Date Case Number Party Party Type
07/25/2003 DR-2003-07-2766 CURRY, CHRISTOPHER D

Case ID Name/Date Of Birth Party Type File Date (YYYY/MM/DD) Case Type Court
DoB: 10/4/1973     
DoB: 12/13/1993     
DoB: 10/4/1972     
DoB: 10/4/1973     
DoB: 10/4/1972     
DoB: 10/4/1972     
DoB: 10/4/1972     
DoB: 10/4/1973     
DoB: 10/4/1973     
Date 2/28/1994:
 (apparently did 135 days in county jail)

Another sample of how AFCC //AAML conferences can handle “abuse” or at least refer to it, so no one can say, they just don’t talk about domestic violence, showed up in this conference:

From Sept. 2011 AFCC/AAML conference at Philadelphia, one more workshop:

Although this brings up, “would you know if your client was being (abused)?,” it looks like the only session in the conference that comes close to bringing the topic up:

5. Domestic Abuse in Separation and Divorce: Implications for Legal and Mental Health Professionals

If your client has been coping with domestic abuse or coercive controlling behaviors,** including forced sex,(1) would you even know it? Many abuse victims intentionally mask the violence in their relationship in the hopes of reducing the potential conflict (2) during the divorce process. But unidentified domestic abuse can have significant negative implications for the litigation and evaluation process, so it is imperative that lawyers and evaluators understand these dynamics.(3)  Very recent research has led to the development of new tools for practitioners to use in screening for and assessing the impact of such abuse. (4)Participants attending this interactive workshop will learn to better screen and assess the significance of the different kinds of abuse that occur in intimate relationships (5) and develop effective strategies that will lead to safer and more effective practice.

Loretta Frederick, Esq., Senior Legal and Policy Advisor, Battered Women’s Justice Project, Winona, MN

John S. Slowiaczek, Esq., AAML Vice President, Omaha, NE

The numbered footnotes are mine – for comment:

(1) forced sex with whom?  In this context, adult is implied — yet historically a hot issue in child custody contexts is abuse of the CHILD during (Unsupervised) parenting time.   I supposed in this conference, a decision was made just not to deal with the topic any more, not this time.   From 1998, a family therapist in Washington discusses “The Myth of False Allegations of Sexual Abuse in Divorce Cases” and lays out how Richard Gardner and “parental alienation” theory figured into this.   Merrilyn McDonald wrote:

It is commonly believed that false allegations of sexual abuse in the context of divorce are epidemic, that most allegations made in the context of divorce are made by vindictive mothers and that these allegations are almost always false. These beliefs are not supported by scientific evidence.1

It is widely believed that at least 50 percent of all allegations of child sexual abuse are false, and that an accused person appearing in a court of law is quite likely to have been falsely accused. Those who defend accused child sexual offenders want us to believe that 50 percent of individuals brought to trial are innocent. These beliefs are not supported by scientific evidence, either.2

. . . . 

A good scientist simply cannot claim that anecdotal case descriptions tell us about the population in general. If I were a forensic psychiatrist or psychologist who had a practice devoted exclusively or almost exclusively to serving those who have been accused of child sexual abuse, and if my criteria for determining that an allegation was false was to accept the declarations of the accused, then I could quite easily arrive at findings that 50 or 75 or even 100 percent of allegations of sexual abuse were false. My findings, however, would never be accepted by good scientists as anything more than a description of the people in my own practice. No good scientist would agree that my findings could tell them anything about all people or about all contested custody cases.

To put it another way, if I were to go to a prison and interview twenty men in maximum security, I might conclude, based on that sample of men, that 50 percent of men are murderers.23

. . .  (this relates to the subject line, and bears re-hearing)…

Many times when a mother believes and defends her children, she is accused of being insane by the offender’s defense team. It seems easier to believe that a mother is insane than that a clean-cut, handsome man would sexually offend his children.

I doubt that even the PENN STATE/ Paterno / Sandusky recent scandal will change this permanently.  Not unless institutional practices are changed.  Just imaging, had these two organizations not been so determined, for so many years, to re-frame domestic violence and child abuse as “HIGH-CONFLICT’ and those trying to remove children from it as “ALIENATORS” — would there have been a culture understanding it’s both OK and important to be aware of these situations and talk about them, or notice symptoms that might indicate such abuse has taken place?

The mother may present to the court as anxious, stressed and upset about the situation, which in some minds seems to support the idea of her insanity. If she has been battered by the accused herself, she may have a number of psychological issues and may, indeed, be in need of therapy. This does not mean that the allegations are false or that any pathology in the mother negates the existence of sexual abuse to the children. If there is pathology in the woman, it is important to have a competent, neutral professional determine first, whether the pathology has been caused by domestic violence, and second, whether the pathology has any relationship to the allegations of abuse.

. . .   The field has attempted to detach and distance itself considerably from Richard Gardner, while sticking to the basic essence of his concepts.  To put the out blatantly again (this was written before Gardner’s untimely death in 2001):

The situation of mothers is made even more difficult by the existence of instruments that claim to be able to determine if a mother is falsely accusing. Richard Gardner created the “Sex Abuse Legitimacy Scale,” which he claims can ferret out falsely accusing mothers and children.38This scale is often used against mothers and children. Jon Conte, editor of the respected “Journal of Interpersonal Violence,” had this to say about the Sex Abuse Legitimacy Scale: “Probably the most unscientific piece of garbage I’ve seen in the field in all my life.39It must be noted that Gardner self-published this scale (and most of his other writings as well),40and that this scale has never been subjected to peer review or any kind of scientific scrutiny. There is no basis in published, peer-reviewed research for anything claimed in this scale. Using it, many, if not most, mothers who behaved in a very typical, normal way after hearing a disclosure of sexual abuse would fail to meet the “criteria” for a genuinely accusing mother. Some of the criteria for inclusion in the category of false accusers are initial belief of the child’s disclosure, disclosure during custody or divorce dispute, anxiety about the child being seen alone with a psychiatrist or psychologist, and anger or suspicion toward the accused.41

This author (McDonald) goes on:

I looked to Gardner’s own writings to glean a bit of insight into his ideological position regarding sexual abuse. In his book, True and False Accusations of Sexual Abuse, Gardner, who does a great deal of forensic work for the accused, nationwide, said:

My final position on this matter is this: a pedophile is the name given to a person whom the judge and/or jury decides they want to put away. … It is of interest that of all the ancient peoples it may very well be that the Jews were the only ones who were punitive toward pedophiles. … Early Christian proscriptions against pedophilia appear to have been derived from earlier teachings of the Jews, and our present overreaction to pedophilia represents an exaggeration of Judeo-Christian principles and is a significant factor operative in Western society’s atypicality with regard to such activities.42

 Well, bravo for Jews and CHristians — although nowaday, I don’t know that we have the same brand of either religion (particularly the latter) in operation when it comes to letting little girls hit at least puberty before being groomed for or used for sexual purposes by adults, and little boys being able as well to keep other adults hands off their genital AND anal regions, as well as off other adult male private parts.   This — in blunt terms — is what children dont need more of.  Now let’s review the ONE workshop in a multi-day conference last September 11 with two major organizations who affect WHERE CHILDREN LIVE after, many times, accusations of abuse come up.  This was one 45- minute breakout session of 4 (during the time slot), Friday morning of a Thurs – Sat. conference.  If professionals are dealing with clients with any of the issues, and which “Advanced” skills and knowledge, this was the closest they’d come to it in the Philadelphia conference>

5. Domestic Abuse in Separation and Divorce: Implications for Legal and Mental Health Professionals

If your client has been coping with domestic abuse or coercive controlling behaviors,** including forced sex,(1) would you even know it? Many abuse victims intentionally mask the violence in their relationship in the hopes of reducing the potential conflict (2) during the divorce process. But unidentified domestic abuse can have significant negative implications for the litigation and evaluation process, so it is imperative that lawyers and evaluators understand these dynamics.(3)  Very recent research has led to the development of new tools for practitioners to use in screening for and assessing the impact of such abuse. (4)Participants attending this interactive workshop will learn to better screen and assess the significance of the different kinds of abuse that occur in intimate relationships (5) and develop effective strategies that will lead to safer and more effective practice.

Loretta Frederick, Esq., Senior Legal and Policy Advisor, Battered Women’s Justice Project, Winona, MN

John S. Slowiaczek, Esq., AAML Vice President, Omaha, NE

(2).  Let’s take statement 2 — why abuse victims “intentionally mask the violence in hopes of reducing the potential conflict.

Rebuttal (mine):  the statement is overbroad and vague — which relationship?  Clients of these people are in the divorce, separation custody processes, as such their “relationship” is as required by having children in common, by court decree, and or by whether or not one of them may be a stalker, etc.   What’s more, this phrasing (Grammar) excuses professional lack of awareness that abuse has been happening on the victim, and attribute it to the victim’s hope of not creating conflict.  Talk about not stepping on people’s toes!

Also, talk about projecting motives:  “in hope of not causing conflict.”  The street reality is, separation from, independence from, demanding any sort of anything from a partner who has formerly battered (see “Battered women’s justice project” so we know Ms. Frederick must be aware this happens) — AUTOMATICALLY causes conflict. Prior to this, in for example, a live-in relationship, the woman — or man — knows what showing independence does:  it causes conflict.  For someone who has been so brave as to start standing up and expect boundaries, that person — that abuse victim — already knows that conflict exists.

On the other hand, over time in the family law system, it doesn’t take “rocket science” to realize that talking about this is counter-productive, and talking about it MAY cause retaliatory judgments, and has been.  So I find that statement odd.  I don’t think a person totally aware of how things work would’ve made it, and wonder that Ms. Fredericks (more on her co-presenter) would even say that.  I am a woman who was battered — a lot — in marriage, and speculating that “hope to avoid conflict” may cause an abuser to “mask” abuse in the relationship absolutely does not represent my truth.  In fact — as I’m demonstrating in these quotes — it is HABITUALLY the AFCC’s (and this represents a good chunk of the court’s) INTENT & HOPE TO MASK ALREADY IDENTIFIED ABUSE, WHICH ITSELF CAUSES AN INNATE CONFLICT WITH THOSE WHO HAVE REPORTED IT AND ARE ATTEMPTING TO GET IT OUT OF THEIR FAMILIES’ LIVES & THEIR KID’S “NORMAL” EXPERIENCE OF LIFE.

Women in this situation are in a fight for survival and sometimes for their children — and that survival is more important than not offending someone else or causing “conflict.”  We are not afraid of conflict, because we have already been living with it for years.  We want peace — naturally — but not at the price of slavery, or of sacrificing children (or contact with them).  We should not have to run additional guantlets in this forum, virtual tightropes, to get that safety and freedom from ongoing abuse — in different forms, post-separation. We shouldn’t have to sacrifice child support, either.

(4)  Very recent research has led to the development of new tools for practitioners to use in screening for and assessing the impact of such abuse.

First of all, Ms. Frederick’s professional background shows that she does indeed know populations that have suffered severe violence and abuse.   And as she is also an attorney, surely she must know the legal definitions of it, as does Mr. Slowiaczek (more below).   I blogged last August about the BWJP / AFCC mutual project to study the “institutional ethnography” of the family court system:


Development of a Framework for Identifying and Explicating the Context of Domestic Violence in Custody Cases and its Implications for Custody Determinations

BWJP and its project partner, Praxis International, are expanding recent multidisciplinary efforts to more effectively protect the safety and wellbeing of children and their parents in the family court system by crafting a more practical framework for identifying, understanding and accounting for the contexts and implications of domestic violence in custody arrangements and parenting plans.

BWJP and Praxis staff  have formed a National Workgroup with representatives from the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges (NCJFCJ) and the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts(AFCC).  In consultation with leading researchers and practitioners, they have begun to examine the institutional processes by which family courts commonly reach and/or facilitate crucial parenting decisions, including the use of auxiliary advisors such as custody evaluators, guardians ad litem and court appointed special advocates.

That’s all very nice (and professionally rewarding) — however, most parents I’ve had contact with, during the past TWELVE years my case has been IN the family court system — will agree that IN the family court system is one of the most dangerous places any parent can be when issues of violence and abuse were primary in the separation. We are on a different time frame.  ALL children, growing up, are on a different time frame.  And our needs definitely diverge from those whose livelihoods are IN the family court system.

When BWJP joined up with AFCC, I knew that it would no longer speak for such families.  As we can see, the speech has been sanitized, compartmentalized, neutralized and in fact purged of concrete terms in search of some mutually acceptable framework.  BWJP comes under DAIP, which comes under the MPDI (Minnesota Program Development Inc.) group, which — for reference — is paid this much (grants, HHS — not including any OVW/DOJ grants) to talk about frameworks and explicate what is — and is not — dangerous behavior and run (and sell) interventions for it:

Recipient Name City State ZIP Code County DUNS Number Sum of Awards

Ms. Fredericks, according to an interview in this book, began as a legal aid lawyer in a small MN town (Winona) and quipped, how could you not become a feminist:

books.google.comBonnie WatkinsNina Rothchild – 1996 – 352 pages – Preview
Loretta Frederick Loretta Frederick is a Legal-Aid attorney in Winona, a small city along the Mississippi River She has been active in family-law issues, and in the founding of the Women’s Resource Center there. Loretta, 40, has an 

(one can search, I can’t copy & paste).  She began in 1978 right out of law school, and quipped:  “you couldn’t, not unless you were really dense, practice poverty law for more than 10 minutes and not become a feminist” I recommend reading it, because I believe (judging by the choice of companions) this person — who really knows what happens behind closed doors — is not quite the feminist any more.  If the plan is to infiltrate an organization such as AFCC and influence it towards understanding that battering and rape still occur, I would have to say, that the purpose might be amiss at this point.  Rather, the presence of this group in a conference provides public rationalization that the Association of Family & Conciliation Courts actually cares about children that end up battered and/or raped, let alone tha adults involved.   

For context, Ms. Fredericks and Ms. Denise Gamache have both published alongside, quite a bit (google the names) in various contexts.  I’d thought Loretta had spearheaded an HHS grant — but for reference, historically, here are HHS Family Violence Prevention Grants with Ms. Gamache as principle investigator.  Notice the dates, titles, and amounts:




Fiscal Year City Recovery Act Indicator Award Number Award Title Budget Year CFDA Number Award Action Type Principal Investigator Sum of Actions
1995 DULUTH 90EV0011 P.A. FV-03-93 – SIRC 03 93671 OTHER REVISION DENISE GAMACHE $ 0



(For meaning of CFDAs 936571 and 93592, look it up at TAGGS.hhs.gov)

How many resource centers and how much technical assistance does it take for a custody evaluator, attorney, mediator, or judge to recognize someone who has been abused in a court proceeding?

Are we there yet?   Have we forgotten that some abusers ARE judges and attorneys?   Or the Alanna Krause case?  Her father was a prominent civil rights attorney, and here’s part of her story.

From SF Weekly, 2002:

n many ways, Alanna’s academic and social success is unsurprising. She grew up in a well-to-do family in Marin County. Her mother, Lauren Simone-Smith, is an artist with multiple college degrees. Her father, Marshall Krause, a prominent civil liberties attorney before his third retirement in 2000, worked for the ACLU in the ’60s and has argued successfully before the U.S. Supreme Court six times.

Despite her pedigree, Alanna’s life before college was nothing short of hellish, fraught with physical violence, institutionalization, and running away — much of which could have been avoided. As a 10-year-old in 1993, Alanna had gotten tangled up in the crony-driven Marin family courts during a bitter child custody battle between her parents. Throughout the custody case, she begged to live with her mother, because, she claimed, her father was physically abusive and often left her at home alone.

But in the end, the system granted custody of Alanna to her dad, despite some troubling circumstances. According to a report submitted to the Los Angeles Juvenile Courts, Alanna’s therapist had had a “seemingly intimate” relationship with her father (which he denies), and both the court-appointed evaluator and her court-appointed attorney relied on questionable science in making their recommendations. Once he had custody, Marshall Krause checked Alanna into a locked residential treatment facility in Utah for five months, though she had no criminal history or evidence of mental health problems. When she returned to her father’s care at age 13, Alanna decided that she couldn’t live with what she attests were constant fights and the threat of physical confrontation, so she ran away to Los Angeles. A juvenile court there finally placed Alanna with her mother in Ojai, where she lived until she left for college last year.

Alanna believes her $135 million lawsuit will send the
message that children need a voice in family courts.

Actually — it was a very smart thing to run to another jurisdiction.  Had her case played out in L.A. with the same issues, she’d probably still have stayed with her Dad.  Another prominent case in reported (also in the SFWeekly) in 2001 involved a California/Texas custody fight, over the issue of child abuse (not Alanna’s kind, the other kind):

Law and Borders

Prosecutors, judges, governors, a sex offender, and a woman with a penchant for poor judgement entangle California and Texas in an epic child custody war with two sure losers — aged 7 and 9.

By Lisa Davis (published: November 14, 2001 — 10 years & 1 day ago EXACTLY — in SFWeekly)

Alameda County’s Santa Rita Jail is among the largest county jails in the United States; it holds thousands of women, including, since her extradition in September, Debra Schmidt, mother, grandmother, minor media star, accused kidnapper, former fugitive, and subject of a war  between Texas and California.

During the last several years, Schmidt has become entangled with a host of public and private characters — including prosecutors, judges, and even a couple of governors (one of whom went on to become president) — in an epic child custody war over the meaning of the most basic aspects of family, law, and family law. At the heart of the matter is Schmidt’s belief that her two youngest daughters are not safe with their father, a convicted sex offender to whom the California courts have, sometimes in apparent violation of the law, granted a variety of supervised and unsupervised visitation and custody arrangements. Her concerns seem eminently reasonable; public records show the father has exhibited a variety of anti-social behaviors, including child molestation and alleged spousal abuse.

Through a series of strategically ridiculous moves, however, Schmidt has managed to turn the legal tables upon herself, and to at least temporarily invalidate the agreements that are the foundation of interstate law and order. After fleeing to Texas with her children, Schmidt was able to gain the backing of authorities there — but in doing so, she sparked the ire of California family courts and a prosecutor who has filed child abduction charges against her.

Way to blame the mother, in that paragraph.  What options did the legal system leave her?

Also, re:  “the agreements that are the foundation of interstate law and order,” that law and order has been made a joke of more than once in this system, including when mothers want to try & get their abducted kids back.

I’ll let Cindy Ross tell how the Beltway Sniper’s (John Muhammad) attorney described him (cf. “Eisenberg,” above) a “normal, thoughtful, reasonable guy” frustrated by the court system. Earlier, he had abducted his children out of the country & changed their names.  When the mother caught up, she fled across country, and hid in Maryland.

Another parental kidnapping scenario from same general timeframe:

Despite concerns regarding John Muhammad’s potential for violence and his violation of court orders, attorney John S. Mills of Tacoma, tried to help him find the children and regain custody after Mildred was forced to go “underground”. According to the Washington Post (see previous linked article), Mr. Mills said of Mr. Muhammad:  “He was angry at how he was treated over his kids…He was never able to locate her. That went on for two or three months. Then he vanished” . . . “For three weeks in October, the “Beltway Sniper” terrorized the Metropolitan Washington, DC area. Ten people were shot to death and three seriously wounded while they were doing routine activities like shopping, mowing grass, pumping gas, or going to school. The “Sniper” left cryptic and chilling messages referring to himself as “God” and threatening that children were not safe “anywhere, at any time.

After 22 days, following leads that took them from Maryland to Alabama and New Jersey to Tacoma, Washington, authorities arrested two suspects. John Allen Muhammad, 41, and John Lee Malvo, 17 were found at a rest stop sleeping in their car. Rifles confiscated from Muhammad’s vehicle included an XM-15 and ballistic tests linked the rifle to the .223 caliber bullets used to shoot most of the victims.

Scared Silent

Excerpt from this book tells of the moment when (in DC area) she had to face that her ex was the Beltway Sniper.  The other people killed were a smokescreen, so when she was killed it’d be blamed on “the sniper” — yet he got caught.   She even had trouble reconciling this, but remembered his statements:   “Now I was recalling every frightening comment John had ever made to me. He once said, “When a man hits a woman, it means that he has lost all respect for her. It would be easy for him to kill her after that.”  But I did not foresee, not even in my wildest nightmare, that John would ever kill people who had nothing to do with me or our troubled marriage.”  ….”

More on this couple–he had military training, Nation of Islam, returns from Saudi Arabia war with PTSD, took the children — on a visitation.  Before they had a written custody plan, “nothing police could do to help.”

And yet to his attorney, he was just a guy frustrated over divorce.  He was also a convert to Islam, militarily trained, PTSD-exhibiting, prior death threats to wife, regular sort of man the family courts show bias against, and no real threat to her, or anyone else.  10/25/2002 extended Washington Post article shows more background, including 2 court martials, one for striking an officer.

ERGO — I say — there is no explication needed for battering, and no training interventions.  There are not 50 ways a man can repeatedly assault his wife, and some of them be simply “relationship violence” and not domestic violence, just “high conflict.”

All this was addressing the comment, “Through a series of strategically ridiculous moves, however, Schmidt has managed to turn the legal tables upon herself, and to at least temporarily invalidate the agreements that are the foundation of interstate law and order.”  I know the writer meant no harm, and probably was unaware of how often mothers in the courts, where violence was a factor, are indeed caught between a rock and a hard place.  Then again — what excuse is there for the lawyers being so unaware?

Back to the California/Texas case.

The cross-jurisdiction custody battle became so heated that one-time Texas Gov. George W. Bush and his successor, Rick Perry, refused to extradite Schmidt to stand trial in California — a transfer that is ordinarily a matter of routine legal courtesy. Eventually, a federal judge forced Texas to hand Schmidt over, and now a mother who claims her only interest is to protect her children from a sex offender waits to stand trial in Alameda County next week on a felony child abduction charge.

The fate of her children remains unclear.

A Texas court has ordered that the children not leave the Lone Star State, where they currently live. A California court is demanding the children return to the state of California. Neither state seems willing to budge, and no one seems to know the way out of a legal stalemate that better serves the needs of large legal egos than the interests of two girls, aged 7 and 9.

Even in jail and half a country away from her children, Schmidt says that she would do it all over again. “The California courts put me in the position of having to protect my children,” she says, utterly sure in her naive belief that because she is in the moral right, the legal system will eventually be on her side, too.

You can say that again, about the egos ….  (the story goes on to indicate she was raped by the husband in front of a daughter, threats to take the children out of the country, and so forth.  The court continues ordering the couple to mediation….)

In any event, the incident marked the last time Schmidt allowed Saavedra to visit their children. Between March and August 1997, the couple bounced back and forth between courts and court-ordered mediation, arguing about the custody and visitation of their children. Repeatedly, the court ordered Schmidt to allow her ex-husband to visit their children, and, repeatedly, Schmidt defied the order. At one point, the children were to meet with their father at the Walter Britten Center in Stockton, a county-operated center designed expressly for such court-ordered visits. Schmidt refused to bring her children to the center, saying that it was not supervised well enough, particularly because it included an outdoor playground that was not supervised at all.

In fact, according to Vicky Price, a counselor at the center, Walter Britten was not set up to handle visitation by sex offenders — federal guidelines require that they be seen and heard by a supervisor at all times — until at least 1999, two years after the court ordered Schmidt to take her children there.**

LGH note:  Looks like Walter Britten is one of the Access/Visitation grant recipients, in the Supervised Visitation Network; purpose:  “For Enhancing Opportunity and Responsibility for Nonresidential Parents.”  This is part of welfare reform and fatherhood promotion; Saavedra may was a sex offender, but also a Dad, and so this case very possibly had some money changing hands on it.  However clearly the mother said, “No!”

“Manuel called me the day before the second visit was supposed to happen and said, “Say goodbye to your girls,'” Schmidt says. “It scared me. I believed him [when he said he would abscond with the children], and I still do.”

This woman and Alanna Krause — and the fathers — are different generations and couldn’t be more different, but the court in both cases refused to protect children from abuse.

Here’s what AFCC was discussing in 2002, (2001 conference had to be postponed some because of 9/11 (apparently that size of disaster, they couldn’t ignore):

With AFCC staff and many members en route to New York for the 2001 Regional Conference, terrorists struck the World Trade Center on September 11.  The conference was cancelled, but the AFCC spirit was not to be daunted by these events.  With the support of AFCC New York members and Hofstra Law School, the conference was held five months later, and AFCC members worldwide contributed money and support to help the organization weather this challenge.

But in Baltimore, plans had been already laid to make sure fault was never assigned in custody cases; rather, the courts were to become “CONFLICT MANAGERS (as referenced at a Hofstra School, Selected Conference presentations by A. Schepard (AFCC):

The Transformation of the Child Custody Court: From Fault finder to Conflict Manager to Differential Diagnosis,

Second Annual Symposium on Family Law

of the Circuit Court for Baltimore City, Family Division, Baltimore, Maryland (November 14, 2001)

OR (2000)

Keynote Speaker on Children of High Conflict Divorce,

Wingspread Conference Sponsored by the Johnson Foundation

and the American Bar Association Family Law Section (September 2000)

(3) … unidentified domestic abuse can have significant negative implications for the litigation and evaluation process, so it is imperative that lawyers and evaluators understand these dynamics.

It is not “imperative” that lawyers and evaluators understand these dynamics to make it better for litigation and evaluation, but most of all so that one of their clients doesn’t get knocked off – or bankrupted and put homeless, in the litigation and evaluation process.   Their concern ought to be a LITTLE closer to their clients’ concern.  Which brings up another point:

A little reminder:  Who is an “officer of the court.”

**coercive controlling behaviors ARE a form of abuse, but there is always someone to shave off more situations to whittle down the definition of what is “Real” abuse a little more.  FYI, abuse happens on a continuum, and may start out with a bang, or it may be a constant paring down of options, til no options remain.  For example, it may start out economic, or in any other form — but if people cannot be together in mutually voluntary way — then coercion won’t make it better.

Now — I am going to address this workshop, some.  I didn’t know Mr. Slowiaczek, so looked him up.  Here is a Transcript of testimony — he was testifying (name shows up 3 times) apparently in support of — and Loretta Fredericks (not present, but mentioned by someone testifying against) what appears to be a bill stating joint custody as presumptive for the state of Nebraska:

Transcript Prepared By the Clerk of the Legislature Transcriber’s Office

Judiciary Committee March 25, 2009

[LB4 LB226 LB423 LB589 LB660]

The Committee on Judiciary met at 1:30 p.m. on Wednesday, March 25, 2009, in Room 1113 of the State Capitol, Lincoln, Nebraska, for the purpose of conducting a public hearing on LB660, LB589, LB423, LB4, and LB226. Senators present: Brad Ashford, Chairperson; Steve Lathrop, Vice Chairperson; Mark Christensen; Colby Coash; Brenda Council; Scott Lautenbaugh; Amanda McGill; and Kent Rogert. Senators absent: None. []

This attorney is prestigious  — a National Vice President  — within AAML, and sat on the 50th Anniversary National Committee (AAML)  on:

Bounds of Advocacy Revision – Special Committee
Elizabeth Lindsey, Vice Chair
John Slowiaczek, Chair

(whatever that was about). He is now concentrating on (family law / domestic relations) and per his site, Mr. Slowiaczek is an experienced trial lawyer with a broad background. Mr. Slowiaczek now concentrates his practice in the field of domestic relations and is recognized as one of the leading domestic relations lawyers in this region. He frequently lectures on various domestic law issues. He serves on the Executive Committee and is a Fellow in the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers is a fellow of the International Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. Mr. Slowiaczek is also a Diplomate of the American College of Family Law Trial Lawyers. He is listed in The Best Lawyers in America and is rated “AV” in the Martindale-Hubbell Law Directory.and is named in the Great Plains Superlawyers list. :

SO here is part of his testimony, in 2009, in front of a whole lot of Senators, i.e., The Nebraska Legislature, 3/25/2009, on one of these bills:

He is opposed to the bill presumption of equal / shared custody . . on the other hand, he seems to think that mediation was working just fine.  Note this comment:

SENATOR COUNCIL: And one of the proponents alluded to the issue of child support. [LB589 LB423]


SENATOR COUNCIL: And in your experience, how often do these custody disputes boil down to the child support obligation? [LB589 LB423] 

JOHN SLOWIACZEK: I think a fair number of people want shared custody because they want to pay lower child support, but they don’t want to pay corresponding expenses associated with shared custody. I mean, the fundamental concept of shared custody is you’re going to share time and you’re going to share expenses, but they don’t do that. Too often one person will say, I’m paying child support, but I’m not going to pay any of the other expenses. And I think it’s fair to say that many people historically want shared custody because they don’t want to pay as much support. [LB589 LB423]

and this observation:

SENATOR ASHFORD: Thank you. Any questions? Thank you. Thanks for your comments. Opponents of either bill or both. [LB589 LB423]

AMIE MARTINEZ: Good afternoon. My name is Amie Martinez. I am an attorney in Lincoln. Martinez is M-a-r-t-i-n-e-z. About 90 percent of the work that I do is in the area of domestic relations, and I appear before you today as the chair of the house of delegates for the Nebraska State Bar Association. The Nebraska State Bar Association is opposed to both LB423 and LB589. We have a number of concerns specifically with regard to the presumption of joint custody. To be clear, we’re not opposed to the idea of joint custody or to orders that include joint custody, but to the presumption imposing joint custody in all situations. First of all, not all families have equal parenting time roles up until the time that they are divorced. So this would be a change many times in circumstances. The American Bar Association favors a case-by-case to determination without rigid presumptions for or against joint custody. The National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges instruct judges not to presume that joint custody is in the best interest of children. In January of 2009, just a few months ago, Minnesota issued a joint physical custody presumption study group report.

In Minnesota, the legislature directed the state court administrators to consider a potential impact of an adoption of a statute similar to this, to these that are being proposed with regard to a presumption for joint physical custody. With a group of lawyers, laypeople, psychologists, various groups of folks they came up with six recommendations. And the primary recommendation was that there should be no presumption for or against joint custody with the exception that in cases involving domestic violence, there should be a presumption against. Several states have in the past created presumptions of joint custody only to later change their statutes to eliminate that presumption and to allow joint custody only when parents agree to the same. One such state is California who reported that more than…according to the judges, more than two-thirds of them found that the imposition of joint custody under the operation of the presumption led to mixed or bad results. Several states have encouraged joint custody but do not impose the presumption. One of those states is Iowa. I heard one of the remarks included a quote out of Iowa. And the Supreme Court actually in 2007 interpreted the legislation to not impose that presumption. Nebraska previously had a presumption that mothers should receive custody, and we eliminated that presumption. In sum, the presumptions take the place of individualized attention to determine the best result for the child. And our concern is with regard to that presumption. [LB589 LB423]

SENATOR ASHFORD: Thank you, Amie. It’s good to see you again. Next opponent. [LB589 LB423]

JOHN SLOWIACZEK: Good afternoon, Senator Ashford, Senators. My name is John Slowiaczek, it’s S-l-o-w-i-a-c-z-e-k. I’m an attorney. I’ve been practicing law in Omaha24for 35 years. My practice is devoted entirely to domestic work and it has had…I’ve done nothing but divorce law for all practical purposes for the last 25 years. I am very much opposed to the legislation. There should be no presumption one way or the other. The law as it presently exists works and it works fine. The presumption in favor of joint custody whether it’s legal or physical would be chaos in the legal system. And as far as I’m concerned, it would do nothing but exacerbate divorces. It would make it much more expensive, and people would be fighting when they otherwise wouldn’t fight. Right now we have a mediation program that is statewide that has been passed as a legislation last year. And that is working and I think it’s working well . . .

When you look at children and you look at homes, generally speaking most parents have similar goals for their kids. But within most homes people divide their responsibilities and they divide the determination as to who’s going to be performing certain roles. And in my experience, it’s a very unusual family that has equal sharing of responsibility for children. To make a presumption that you’re going to make equal responsibility is ludicrous. One thing I ask of you is ask yourself, do you want to spend one week in a bed in one home and one week in a bed in another home and go back and forth. People who want joint custody, whether…and they want to make a presumption, as far as I’m concerned are more concerned about their own best interests than the best interests of the children.

Very interesting …  now imagine if the reason for separation literally had something to do with domestic violence or child abuse — how that might work in application.  I don’t think the parent would sleep — at all — while the child was in the other home.

JOHN SLOWIACZEK: Well, last year we…there’s new legislation that was passed and there is mediation now mandated in the state for parenting with regard to all issues that involve custody of children. So within the context of the divorce process, everybody goes to mediation sessions in an effort to resolve parenting issues. [LB589 LB423]

SENATOR COASH: With the limited time we’ve had that in place, what’s your opinion on how well that’s working for the children? [LB589 LB423]25

JOHN SLOWIACZEK: Well, I’m a product of Douglas County, so we’ve had it in place for probably I want to say ten years and I may be a little bit off on that. It has cut down custody fights and it’s working fine. And I will admit, I went into the mediation process kicking and screaming saying it shouldn’t work, and it… [LB589 LB423]

So he was a divorcing father and mediation worked for him.

SENATOR ASHFORD: I remember that (laughter). That goes back to 1991, John, and that’s a dim, dim memory for both of us. [LB589 LB423]

JOHN SLOWIACZEK: It works and it’s working fine. I think it’s really working fine

AND — here’s the reference to Loretta Frederick, in this testimony:

ROBERT SANFORD: (Exhibit 13) Senator Ashford and committee members, my name is Robert Sanford, S-a-n-f-o-r-d, and I’m the legal director for the Nebraska Domestic Violence Sexual Assault Coalition. The coalition is a membership organization made up of 22 local organizations providing services to victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking across the state of Nebraska. I am here today to express the coalition’s opposition to both LB423 and LB589 because presumptions for joint custody can increase the risk of harm to children and victims of domestic violence. Joint custody is often seen as an ideal for both parents and children, and those who are best situated for it are going to agree to it regardless of whether the presumption exists or not. Our concern for the safety of the parent and child when there is conflict and the potential for violence as presumptions for joint custody often compromise a victim’s safety.

A presumption of joint custody requires more interaction between parents to negotiate the day-to-day life of a child, increasing the likelihood children will be exposed to high and moderate levels of conflict. Loretta Frederick of the Battered Women’s Justice Project also states that both the logistics of the child’s schedules and needs must be workable in order for joint custody to work. Why would Nebraska pass a law adopting a presumption for joint custody when states such as California, the first state to pass a presumption of joint custody, have moved away from it? While these two bills have language regarding the best interests…may I finish my sentences? [LB589 LB423]


ROBERT SANFORD: …regarding best interest of the child, best interest is clearly to be ignored if the parents are both fit. We stand in opposition to both of these bills. [LB589 LB423]

And one proponent brought up “parental alienation” — who was a father, who’d been through several divorces he said:

RUFINO VILLARREAL: Good afternoon. My name is Rufino Villarreal. It’s spelled R-u-f-i-n-o V-i-l-l-a-r-r-e-a-l. I’m a proponent, obviously, and I’m just a citizen. I’ve been involved in a few groups for equal parenting, but I’m commenting as just a citizen. {{sure…. thinking independently}}   I think we can all agree that most people believe and most psychologists believe that children need both parents. They need the role model of the father and the caring of the mother. And I think this bill is moving us into that direction. I think it’s really important. I’ve had a couple of divorces and so I’ve kind of been through the mill on this. And I think what our society is seeing as a whole is because the father is usually excluded from the family that it’s a negative impact on the child, which in turn affects our communities with more, you know, violence, drug abuse, and so forth when they don’t have the father figure or at least equal parenting for the children. {{real independent thinking:  fatherlessness is a social scourge}} Now, I was in the Fathers for a Lifetime group and there’s a lot of fathers out there that really want to get involved . . .

here was I guess it’s kind of like a power thing, but it’s not really a power thing. It’s just the kids need both parents. You know, I guess I learned about parental alienation syndrome the hard way with my divorce, my last one. And as far as the power goes, my wife has changed my son’s name, Rufino Junior, to Tony (phonetic) in her school. And I told the school, you know, his name is Rufino. They go, no it’s Tony (phonetic). And I go, why? They said because your wife has custody. You know, I don’t think that’s right. I think all we just need is some equality, you know, nothing more. And that’s about it. [LB589 LB423]

He learned the word “parental alienation” from somewhere.  Changing the son’s name — that’s tough, sure…  But now that the legislature is not listening, and AFCC is conferring, parental alienation talk is the theme…

Clearly, the language AND grammar of “high-conflict” and “alienation” is alienated from the world we live in — from reality

If AFCC wishes to sincerely help protect little children from assaults — as well as “alienation” — they had better start using real-world language, and let go of the made-up jargon, the purpose of which is to transform others’ reality in a way to keep justifying their existence in this world, and silence on situations like the one above.  It should be understand that the bulk of the AFCC conferences are hoping to pull in custody evaulators, parent coordinators, psychological testing, and a lot of other work that many individuals couldn’t even begin to afford the first time around.  For those who do go that right — they will be bled dry financially (one side, or both) which of course stacks the odds to or from one parent, and definitely compromises the well-being of the child, sometimes removing a parent entirely from his/her life by virtue of one parent can no longer afford to PAY to see his or her child (if supervised visitation is assigned).

From the “High Conflict Institute”


NO — really? ??  You’re kiddin’ me….

Veteran’s Day Youtube

U.S. Air Force Staff Sgt. Dannielle Ritacco stands among headstones during the 62nd Annual Veterans Day Memorial Celebration at the Veterans Memorial Cemetery at Evergreen-Washelli in Seattle on Friday, November 11, 2011. Photo: Associated Press, Joshua Trujillo / seattlepi.com

These soldiers have rest.  But while they were alive, they had conflict — it’s part of life.  There is one way to get rid of it — kill off life, or figure out common values within a group, or pick a world ruler.  Now, I”m not in favor of the first and last options, so til those become mandatory, I’m more in favor of negotiating as many common values within any group (or relationship) I’m in; and if no reasonable — or NONlethal/destructive — resolution is possible, then I choose to detach from that relationship.

And I did this as a parent, being able to negotiate a very difficult separation (involving a DV restraining order) — until I learned that certain people had an innate concept with my right to detach (in order to live) and a more serious conflict with the US Constitution and its Bill of Rights.  These were to be suspended for more and more situations — the primary excuse for suspending them being, if one was a member of a “family” (i.e., participated in normal human behavior called reproduction).

ANYHOW — Back at the Ranch, I learned:

No longer are we actually calling murderous and violent relationships “high-conflict.”  We are to call them “Potentially high-conflict” and get judges to immunize families against Potential conflict through court-ordered participation in training by this licensed counselor.  I guess he’ll have to share air time with Parent Coordinators…..

While Penn State is reeling and reconsidering ‘what happened”  AFCC professionals have not skipped a beat in developing new ways to market the same old hogwash, that everyone actually wants their skills, and that the public should be supporting their marketing plan through the family law courts.

Oh yes — and that child abuse as in child porn, molestation and trafficking does not REALLY exist, hence the only child abuse really worth talking about is alienation, meaning one parent may not have access to another child.  In results, they end up frequently making sure that parent is the mother — not the father.  And when it doesn’t go that way, somehow, no matter how many fathers feel entitled to run off with their children and do a murder/suicide event — it doesn’t phase AFCC practices a bit.   Not hardly.  They are on a course, and none dare intervene.

The real problem with AFCC members, overall (this is not to say there aren’t nice people in there or decent ones.  Not in the leadership of course — there’s no excuse for subscribing to the group’s tax evasion practices (significant of the beginnings) — or even premises, which include that the language of criminal law should be dismantled in favor of better language of their choosing. But to continue membership and participation is to engage in denial about the purposes and practices of the group.

Sometimes  I think that the trouble is, some people really LOVED elementary school — and excelled at it.  If there is a teacher at the head of the room dominating the activities, then all is well with the world.  The thing is, to get in with whoever’s in charge, and not attract negative attention.  Then someday, you, too — can play teacher, to the World.  Because the world without a headmaster, a principal, a schoolmarm that really has it under control — can be a very, very scary place.  One might have to stand on one’s own too feet.  One might have to come up with original thoughts and justify them without friends nearby.   And those thoughts might not have even a leg to stand on, exposed to clear light.

That’s at least one theory I have of why this group still is around, after all that has been exposed about it starting around mid-1990s.  The other reason is that it’s figured out how to control things, is it only takes so many affiliates in high places to start reaching critical mass.  Plus, let’s not forget, when it comes to parenting classes, supervised visitation, court-ordered counseling, and mediation — a lot of the bills are paid by the public already, whether through federal grants, or local county courthouse payrolls.

(when reading the literature and reflecting on the practices of AFCC groups — including making up new professional niches, starting national organizations to promote them, and then citing these all over their personal websites as if it evidenced something much more than group memberships, or collections of associated group memberships (AFCC, CRC, APA, AAML, etc.)

So, here we have the theory of “HIGH CONFLICT PEOPLE” and of course, along with this is needed a “HIGH CONFLICT INSTITUTE”

High Conflict People aren’t just difficult people,

they’re the MOST difficult people.

They pick a Target of Blame and assault that person verbally, physically, financially, etc.* * * They promote high conflict divorces, lawsuits, complaints against co-workers, neighbors, friends and family. They sue professionals, gather negative advocates, cost employers lots of time and money. They convince everyone that it’s all your fault!   If you’re dealing with a situation like this then you’ve come to the right place to get information, resources and tools to help you.

**”THEY?”  As if the court system itself were not incentivized to cater to this, or inciting it when sometimes even the parent didn’t care about the issues!  Talk about the “Us/Them” divide….

Now (from the same page) about the “WE” — as opposed to the big, bad enemy, ‘They” — the “high-conflict people.”

  • We provide speakers and trainers
  • We provide consultations to organizations and individuals on an hourly basis.
  • We developed this program to help potentially high-conflict families stay out of court, while learning and practicing conflict reducing skills, teaching these skills to their children, and making decisions. It is designed to save courts time and parents money and offers a significant shift in attitude toward high-conflict cases.

First of all, doesn’t sound like anything new at all.  Second — I thought it was about high-conflict people – not high-conflict cases.

SOMETIMES though, it’s just off the deep end….  I believe these are self-explanatory irrational.

Goals of New Ways for Families™

  1. To immunize families against becoming high-conflict families during the separation and the divorce process.
  2. To help parents teach their children resilience in this time of huge and rapid change in the foundation of their family life
  3. To strengthen both parent’s abilities to make parenting decisions, while relying less on experts and the courts** to make their decisions for them.
  4. To assist professionals and the courts in assessing both parent’s potential to learn new, positive ways of problem-solving and organizing their family after a separation or divorce.
  5. To give parents a chance to change poor parenting behaviors (including abuse and alienation) before long-term decisions are made. This method emphasizes learning new skills for positive future behavior.
**Pay no attention to the fact that we assume ourselves to be the experts and wish the courts to recognize that status, and the privileges attached.
**Pay also no attention to the ASSUMPTION that neither parent is competent to make a “parenting” decision.

How It Works

Step 1:   Getting Started

Parents can agree to use New Ways, or a judge can order it while also making temporary parenting orders, support orders, and restraining orders.** First, each parent selects his or her own Individual Parent Counselor from a list of counselors trained in the New Ways method. Then, each parent prepares a Behavioral Declaration and a Reply Behavioral Declaration, which are the only declarations provided to the counselors, along with any related parenting orders, two business days before the counseling begins.

**That’s the wet dream.  A world in which this group — too — can avoid the competitive marketplace entirely and simply have a judge ORDER participation.  No more actually having to produce a product someone needs, wants, and would voluntarily buy with what’s left of their money — after all, in America, chances are their mommies and/or daddies already ran the family court gauntlet.

In short it’s NEW WAY, or the HIGHWAY.    Notice the “opt-out” option isn’t mentioned.  The concept of taking New Ways For Families while throwing an abuser out of one’s immediate reach, and dealing with the extreme danger this can mean to self, children, bystanders and/or him(her) is typical.  After all, is it a New Ways Counselor going to be in the crossfire?

Here are the speaker bios, predictable background and affiliations:

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.
Bill Eddy is a lawyer, therapist, mediator and the President of High Conflict Institute. He developed the “High Conflict Personality” theory (HCP Theory) and has become an international expert on managing disputes involving high conflict personalities and personality disorders. He provides training on this subject to lawyers, judges, mediators, managers, human resource professionals, businesspersons, healthcare administrators, college administrators, homeowners’ association managers, ombudspersons, law enforcement, therapists and others. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 25 states, several provinces in Canada, Australia, France and Sweden.

He developed a theory (using THE buzz-word of the AFCC, it’s all over their material, it dribbles out every time a member opens his or her mouth, or is faced with a seriously distressing situation, like anything involving a crime, especially if towards a child) and set up an “Institute” for it.   While the word “Institute” used to — I gather — mean something significant, it has been so cheapened as to mean almost anything some people put together – in whatever meeting place (including a website, or a hotel conference room, or a series of them).  It’s a nother robe put on the emperor  to make him look larger, significant and more impressive.

As an attorney, Bill is a Certified Family Law Specialist in California and the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego. Prior to becoming an attorney in 1992, he was a Licensed Clinical Social worker with twelve years’ experience providing therapy to children, adults, couples and families in psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics.

He is a therapist, his professional work life prior to becoming an attorney was in psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics.  I can see why it’s important in such situations there not be too much conflict, particularly considering the pharmaceuticals that may be coursing through the clients’ veins.

The literature says the center started in 1983.  The State of California says it started in 1990, hardy suprising given the field:

Entity Number Date Filed Status Entity Name Agent for Service of Process
Organization Name Registration Number Record Type Registration Status City State Registration Type Record Type
NATIONAL CONFLICT RESOLUTION CENTER 079054 Charity Current SAN DIEGO CA Charity Registration Charity
NATIONAL CONFLICT RESOLUTION CORPORATION 099851 Charity Delinquent SAN DIEGO CA Charity Registration Charity

(sorry about the paste function and extra space there…).  EIN of the top group is 330433314.  Of the bottom, EIN#  330670516 (same address)

The top one has good income:  Its founding document show it incorporated in 1990 as “San Diego Mediation Center” and in 2004 changed its name to above, National Conflict Resolution Center” with a HOST of people on the board (including at least one judge), and partially supported by:Partial Funding County of San Diego, City of San Diego

Sponsored by San Diego County Bar Association

Fiscal Begin: 01-JUL-09
Fiscal End: 30-JUN-10
Total Assets: $832,868.00
Gross Annual Revenue: $2,510,272.00
RRF Received: 09-MAY-11

The lower one (“National Conflict Resolution Corporation”) shows same incorporator (Jeffrey L. Harris), date-stamped 1995 and (unlike the other one, which simply incorporates as a charitable organization) ”

The specific purpose of this corporation is to provide dispute resolution services

and educational training in communications and dispute resolution skills.

It showed assets of $14,829.83 and income (receipts) of “0” on the 2001-02 state filing, same for the previous year.  So I presume that this organization is not just “delinquent” but that it doesn’t exist — or isn’t producing any receipts in the above line of work:

 The top one, however in (for example) 2008 — had $741K grants and $2,254K (i.e $2.254 million) program service revenue (up about $700K from the previous year).  I recommend reading a 990 or so (for example, the tax-exempt public benefit service of this was nicely profitable — about $550K was actually earned providing mediation and also in PR:  “provide ongoing information and education to the justice system officials, members of the legal community, and policy makers as to the benefits of ADR.  Developing new applications for transferability of ADR to other regions.)  THERE ARE JUST UNDER 2 DOZEN MEMBERS (UNPAID) AND DIRECTOR STEVEN P. DINKIN PULLED IN $133K, OTHER DIRECTORS (all female, I think) between $62K – $84K in service of the public here….)

Training fees + ($40K) “Credentialing” brought in about $2 million, that’s not bad.  I can see why others like the model…  Part X lists some grants receivable, including $10K from the Superior Court, $5K from a law firm, Procopio, Hargreaves & Savitch $5K; County of San Diego DCHD ($3K), and miscellaneous others.    

DOES THIS (San Diego, California PO Box address) Institute exist as a corporation?  Because these groups — with california corporations with the words “Conflict Institute” in them — do, or (for some) did:

Entity Number Date Filed Status Entity Name Agent for Service of Process

Note the corporation survival rate is 50%.

Mr. Eddy has been Faculty for San Diego’s “Relationship Training Institute” — another San Diego group on my radar to also blog.  This group does business with the courts also:

4036 Third Ave.
San Diego, CA 92103

(self-proclaimed) “

“The World’s Authority on Relationship Development
and Domestic Violence Prevention, Training
and Consultation”

RTI really is a hot-shot group:   “The Relationship Training Institute is approved for Professional CE credits by the following organizations:”  (among them….)

  • Board of Registered Nursing
  • American Psychological Association
  • Certified Additions Treatment Counselor
  • Department of Consumer Affairs – Board of Behavioral Sciences
  • Judicial Council of California – Administrative Office of the Courts
  • National Board for Certified Counselors
  • NAADAC The Association for Addiction Professionals
  • State of Nevada Committee on Domestic Violence

GUEST FACULTY INCLUDE:  (it’s a long list — this is just a chunk of it):

Guest Faculty:

Russell Barkley, Ph.D., University of Massachusetts Medical School
Sandra L. Brown, MA, CEO, The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Psychopathy Education
Stacy W. Buhbe, Ph.D.
Constance Dalenberg, Ph.D., Core Faculty, Alliant/CSPP University
Leslie Drozd, Ph.D.**  [[SECTION ON DROZD BELOW]]
William Eddy, JD, LCSW, President of High Conflict Institute
Matt Englar-Carlson, Ph.D., CSU Fullerton
Brian Erickson, Esq., San Diego City Attorney’s Office

Terrence Real, LICSW, Family Institute of Cambridge

Gael Strack, J.D., Chief Executive Officer, National Family Justice Center Alliance


While I’m here, Leslie Drozd is very AFCC, and quite the activist/author/coacher:

She has conducted child custody evaluations for over 20 years. She works daily doing forensic work (including expert witness testimony, mainly in Family Law Court). . .She conducts post divorce work with families including reunification therapy when a child has rejected a parent. She works as a parenting coordinator and as a co-parenting therapist and she reviews the work of other colleagues and serves as a consultant to attorneys.

Dr. Drozd is a well-known expert on family violence, abuse, and alienation – especially in high conflict divorce cases. She has spoken for the Association of Family Conciliation Courts (international, national, and state conferences) as well as at conventions held by the American, California, Arizona, Minnesota, Missouri, Orange, Los Angeles, San Diego, and San Luis Obispo Psychological Associations, Alliant University and California School of Professional Psychology, Argosy University, University of California, Irvine, and Harvard University doctoral program in the School of Public Health. She is the co-author (with 6 others) of a bench book for judges* in how to deal with domestic violence in child custody cases

Yes, the BENCH BOOK FOR JUDGES (or at least one of them):

First of all note the URL:   http://www.afccnet.org/pdfs/BenchGuide.pdf





{{ I keep having a nagging question —  why should parents who can’t keep their hands, threats, and abuse off another spouse (or kid) retain any parenting privileges?  Why is parenting more important than parenting WITHOUT domestic violence, and how can anyone — really — expect to STOP (let alone “prevent”) domestic violence without adequately calling it what it is?  I know what it’s like to have now over 10 years dealing fairly and equitably with an abuser in a custody situation who couldn’t accept being de-throned, and so got even in and out of court, until the children were in someone else’s care, after which he abandoned them.  The courts got their part, child support agency got ITS cut, the people who wanted my kids got them, and although this apparently meant him living off the radar — after a belated attempt to stalk (coerce) me into taking him back, when it looked like some inheritance might be involved — simply dumped them.  I saw no character change, nor did the court ever require any.  Those who took the hardest hits were my chidlren — who basically lost both parents, ALL child support, and had to deal with strangers who got them by breaking the law; who explicitly took advantage of no one around to enforce anything, and with a vengeance….  Would it be better to simply eliminate any pretense of giving a crap about domestic violence, then to drag it out like this, for fun and profit of the Ph.D.’s among us, not to mention the entrepreneurs in the welfare systems of the world?}}

**”The Family Violence Department would also like to thank the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) for helping to support this important endeavor. Much of the groundwork for this tool was done through the Resource Center on Domestic Violence: Child Protection and Custody, a project of NCJFCJ and funded by HHS.

Quotable parts:

“Ordering an Evaluation: When Is Domestic Violence Experience Necessary?”

What If There Are No Resources for an Evaluation?

If Resources Are Available, Should I Order an Evaluation?

The Clearest Cases

In the most egregious cases, it may not even be necessary to order an evaluation in order to decide that a child’s best interests would not be served by allowing contact with a violent and abusive parent. However, even a parent who is not an appropriate candidate for custody may desire visitation; and a careful evaluation may indeed be necessary to determine (a) the motivation for that request,** (b) what impact ongoing contact will have on the children, and (c) whether and how visitation can be structured to assure the safety of the vulnerable parent and the children.

**read that parent’s intentions.  So far, we are not as a whole doing too well in this category — and historically have not.  However, as Supervised Visitation has some federal funds behind it, ….

page 11 — if there is a history of physical violence and involvement of police or criminal system, order an evaluation:”

When Victims Have a History of Physical Violence

A history of physical violence in the parents’ relationship—and especially a history of police or criminal justice system involvement—almost always warrants an evaluation, if resources are available. In such cases, it is crucial that the history be subject to careful review and to supplementation, as appropriate. In particular, concerns are frequently raised that neither the standards governing the issuance of civil restraining/protection orders, nor the standards used by prosecutors in criminal domestic assault cases, sufficiently distinguish between the primary perpetrator of violence in an abusive relationship, and a partner who may be using violence defensively

Between the lines, this benchbook for the family law judge is saying, we can’t really trust the civil or criminal sectors of out justice system to do their job right and distinguish a perpetrator from a victim.  Hence then a person who received a protective order gets a real shock when they go to the family law venue, where it’s treated with disdain, although family judges do issue them as well.

I notice how the list of suggested readings alternates between DV acknowledgement and alienation-promotion:

Navigating Custody & Visitation Evaluations in Cases with Domestic Violence: A Judge’s Guide

Reading Material


*This publication pre-dates:  No-fault divorce, the Violence Against Women act, and a good chunk of feminism.  If the date is correct here, sounds like it was written before the AFCC even got caught and forced to incorporate, which was around 1975, as I recall! !!

Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, {{of course…}}} Model Standards of Practice for Child Custody Evaluations at http://www.afccnet.org/pdfs/Child_Model_Standards.pdf.


[Bancroft’s well-written book as to the dynamics says nothing at all about TANF Reform as an incentive to extended “high-conflict custody” cases.  Alas..He also tends to be a little more out of the loop, as he has identified more with the protecting mothers movement than others.]

Carol S. Bruch, Parental Alienation Syndrome and Alienated Children—getting it wrong in child custody cases, 14 CHILD & FAM. L.Q. 381-400 (2002).

Jacquelyn C. Campbell, Danger Assessment (2003) at http://www.son.jhmi.edu/research/CNR/Homicide/Danger03.pdf.

Jacquelyn C. Campbell et al., Risk Factors for Femicide in Abusive Relationships: Results from a Multistate Case Control Study, 93 AM. J. PUB. HEALTH 1089-97 (2003).

Judging by the headline stats (and I’m familiar with the Campbell lethality risk assessment) — most people don’t believe it anyhow.

Clare Dalton et al., High Conflict Divorce, Violence, and Abuse: Implications for Custody and Visitation Decisions, 54 JUV. & FAM. CT. J. 11 (2003).

(note:  the word “domestic violence” does not appear in the title).

A 2004 answer to this writing (which I think I blogged long ago) is here:

High Conflict Divorce or Stalking by Way of Family Court? The Empowerment of a Wealthy Abuser in Family Court Litigation: Linda v. Lyle – A Case Study” (authors from San Diego)

– – – – – – –

Massachusetts Family Law Journal, 22(1&2) 4-16.


Virtually all coverage of high-conflict divorce assumes both parents are the source of the conflict.[1]Blame is assigned solely and equally to the parents in essentially all cases without much analysis. However, if one party is abusive and sufficiently wealthy to fund on-going litigation, the Domestic Court may be ideally suited to the spurned mate’s agenda.[2] The systematic assertion of ‘dominion and control’ via Family Court litigation would superficially mimic a high-conflict divorce because there would be ongoing litigation.[3][4] The interpretation is consistently that the parties cannot get along and they are using their children as pawns.[5] A closer look shows high conflict divorce has features common to both domestic abuse relationships and the stalking behavior displayed by abandoned abusers.[6]This fascinating case study illustrates how power is transferred from the abusive mate to the professionals, who are, apparently, also at risk to lose control.

– – – – – –

(continuing list from the Benchbook for Judges)


Leslie M. Drozd & Nancy W. Olesen, Is it Abuse, Alienation, and/or Estrangement? A Decision Tree, 1 J. CHILD CUSTODY 65 (Nov. 2004).

Suggested Resources  etc.

In short, Leslie Drozd is classic AFCC, and proud of it.    If you still don’t know what I mean by “Classic AFCC” and the use of the term “HIGH-CONFLICT” – here’s a sample in fact, why not just buy the book and read Chapter 1 from Drozd and be sure to click on the last parent coordination “Sample Decision” where Daddy doesn’t have to say where, within 60 miles, he is taking 4-year old Sarah, because he’s a responsible sorta guy and doesn’t want Linda (the ex) checking up on him and intruding on his parenting time.  (In certain situations, such a stipulation would give a real headstart on a kidnapping, and has, before………)…  This book gets a whole page.

Resources for Professionals

Innovations in Interventions with High Conflict Families

Edited by Linda B. Fieldstone and Christine A. Coates

This volume presents six very distinct approaches in working with high conflict families, and provides the reader with opportunities for adoption, replication or creative expansion of the models featured.  With six chapters (225 pp.), this is a must-read for every professional who works with high conflict, alienation, domestic abuse and child custody disputes.

Click here to purchase book

Innovations in Interventions with High Conflict Families

Contents and appendices:


High Conflict, Domestic Abuse or Alienating Behavior: How do you know?
by Nancy Williams Olesen and Leslie Drozd

Appendix 1:
Domestic Violence Child Custody Protocol (PDF)

Appendix 2:
Alienation Child Custody Questionnaire (PDF)


Children and Absent Parents: A Model for Reconnection
by Rhonda Freeman

There are no appendices for this chapter.


A High Conflict Divorce Education Program: After the Storm: Surviving High Conflict Divorce
by James C. Billings, Gary L. Robbins and Donald A. Gordon

Appendix A:
After the Storm
 Intake Form (PDF)

Appendix B:
After the Storm
 Phone Screening (PDF)


Bringing Co-Parent Counseling Services to High-Conflict Low-Income Families**
by Jeffrey Zimmerman and Elizabeth S. Thayer

(a.k.a. how can we parent coordinators get in on the TANF Diversionary programs like the marriage-mongers?)

Appendices A-G (PDF):
A: Intake form
B: Appointment form
C: Client record
D: Client information, release and privacy forms
E: Fee schedule
F: Exchange of information form
G: Focus on K.I.D.S. program description forms

Appendices H-L (PDF):
H: Meeting review examples
I: Parent follow-up survey
J: PEACE Program follow-up survey
K: PEACE Program executive summary
L: Letter of understanding/agreement


Mental Health Consultation in Child Custody Cases
by Elena Hobbs-Minor and Matthew J. Sullivan

Appendix 1:
Consultant Agreement and Fee Policies Fee Policies (PDF)

Appendix 2:
Statement of Understanding and Fee Agreement (PDF)


Parenting Coordination: An Emerging Role to Assist High Conflict Families
by Robin M. Deutsch, Christine A. Coates and Linda B. Fieldstone

Appendix 1:
Parenting Coordination Brochure (PDF)

Appendix 2:
FCS PC Intake Screening Form (PDF)

Appendix 3:
FCS Order of Referral (PDF)

Appendix 4:
PC Administrative Order (PDF)

Appendix 5:
PC Motion for Discharge (PDF)

Appendix 6:
Sample Introductory Letter (PDF)

Appendix 7:
Parenting Coordinator and Decision-Maker Agreement (PDF)

Appendix 8:
Screening for Domestic Violence (PDF)

Appendix 9:
Parenting Plan Checklist (PDF)

Appendix 10:
Decision of Parenting Coordinator (PDF)

We are in calling it high-conflict country.  So, again, exactly where (and who) is the


…that is doing business in California and no doubt elsewhere.

Let me see if the County of San Diego can find this famous group; has it filed for its fictitious name in San Diego, where its mailing address is?



Any person who regularly transacts business for profit, UNDER A FICTITIOUS NAME, in the County of San Diego is required to file a Fictitious Business Name Statement with the Recorder/County Clerk, within 40 days of first transacting business.

PLEASE NOTE: Although registration of a Fictitious Business Name is required, this office serves ONLY as the central depository of these names, neither approving nor disapproving a particular name and CANNOT accept any responsibility for any omissions, similarities, or duplications among the Fictitious Business Names on file. Fictitious Business Names are filed ONLY in the county where the business is located. State-wide registries do NOT exist.

(unlike in states such as Georgia, or Florida, for example)

Mr. Eddy filed for this name only last June — right after father’s day, 2011:

Select Filing Number Business Name Owner Name Document Type Filing Date
  …  Certified  Non-Certified 2011-017379 HIGH CONFLICT INSTITUTE EDDY WILILAM AI STATEMENT 6/14/2011

and the fictitious name  does exist for RTI — started in 2005, good through — well, 2010:

Select Filing Number Business Name Owner Name Document Type Filing Date
  …  Certified  Non-Certified 2005-017394 THE RELATIONSHIP TRAINING INSTITUTE WEXLER DAVID STATEMENT 5/17/2005

(SITE:  San Diego Assessor-Recorder).  Another sample search — one can type a business name in the “Owner” field.  I typed the word “Marriage” which produced the alternate names for CHMC:

Select Filing Number Business Name Owner Name Document Type Filing Date


Select Filing Number Business Name Owner Name Document Type Filing Date

Background information from:”WhatIsCoParenting.com

Bill Eddy is President of High Conflict Institute based in Scottsdale, Arizona. Bill is a Certified Family Law Specialist in California with fifteen years’ experience representing clients in family court, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience providing therapy to children, adults, couples, and families in psychiatric hospitals and out patient clinics. He is Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego, California.

Mr. Eddy has been a speaker in over 20 states, several provinces in Canada, France and Australia.{{Which is to say, he is probably an AFCC member}}  He has become an authority and consultant on the subject of high conflict personalities for family law professionals, employee assistance and human resource professionals, ombudspersons, healthcare administrators, college administrators, homeowners associations, and others.

He obtained his law degree in 1992 from the University of San Diego, a Master of Social Work degree in 1981 from San Diego State University, and a Bachelors degree in Psychology in 1970 from Case Western Reserve University. He began his career as a youth social worker in a changing neighborhood in New York City and first became involved in mediation in 1975 in San Diego.

Case Western is (obviously) Ohio — and Psychology is one of the easiest bachelors on the planet to get, not that it doesn’t require work.  SOcial work in NYC, even more.  So how did he end up going to California from New York within 5 short years?  Any marriage (or divorce) in the works there?

So, if he’s been in San Diego all these years, then he lived through the “Enron by the Sea” years as well.   …Maybe it’s time to try a little variety in life.


What is the High Conflict Institute?

High Conflict Institute (HCI) was co-founded in 2007 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., and Megan L. Hunter, MBA, to provide education and resources to professionals handling High Conflict disputes.

HCI believes that high conflict family law disputes are not driven by complex issues, but by High Conflict Personalities (HCPs)

Co-founder is form Arizona — home of “N.A.M.E.” (National Association of Marriage Educators”) and one of the few state legislators who is actually a member of the Unification Church (I don’t know if Mark Anderson is still in office, but blogged this).  It is also known for the man who shot a legislator this past year (Gabrielle Giffords) and nearly any domestic violence survivor who is fighting to retain or regain custody will also know about Arizona’s Dawn Axsom (deceased, along with her mother) because a family law judge there refused her and her infant daughter move-away privileges.  It is the state which got some serious study by some Columbia Journalism students in Battening Down Immigrants, Locking Up Profits (Corrections Corporation of America & privatizing of the prison system).  It is also — “coincidentally” — the new residence (Northern California being former) of Philip Stahl, well known AFCC person and Parental Alienation Preacher, as well as a chapter of AFCC.

Did I mention Maricopa County and Sheriff Arpaio?

If I were going to start a High Conflict Institute – and California had too many of similar organization — Arizona would be a great state to do it in, I doubt feminists have a stronghold anywhere near.  After all, Oklahoma has its statewide Marriage Initiative, and Minnesota has the Duluth Abuse Intervention Programs (not that they seem to have slowed down the “high-conflict” rhetoric much), Indiana and Ohio are as Faith-Based and Fatherhood as it’s possible to get (I hope), having a Commission of one (Ohio) and Faith-based Office (Ohio Governor’s office).

And here it is, or at least here is an LLC by the name founded in 2007:

Date of Taking Office: 10/10/2007
Last Updated: 10/12/2007

Megan Hunter’s business management background along with 8 years as a Family Law Specialist with the Arizona Supreme Court, including policy formation, research and program development regarding court processes, parent education and court processes, provides a vast background and broad understanding of the issues facing both families and professionals in family law.

Her linkedIn shows serious involvement at the governmental level in family law issues, including child support — plus being past President of the Arizona AFCC (one of their larger chapters).  While this is commendable and substantial — as a litigant (even in another state) I would bring up serious concerns about Conflicts — of Interest, that is — in that the “New Ways for Families” dreams, hopes, suggests, and intends — that a family law judge might order their program in association with a restraining order!  As it says on the site, even.

Megan Hunter

President at unHooked Books

Phoenix, Arizona Area 
Professional Training & Coaching
  • President at unHooked Books
  • Co-Founder and Vice President at High Conflict Institute
  • Founder and President at Family Law Solutions
  • Past President & Board Member at AzAFCC
  • Child Support Specialist at FAMILY LAW
  • Family Law Specialist at Arizona Supreme Court

see all

  • University of Phoenix
  • University of Phoenix
  • Chadron State College

see all

302 connections

High Conflict Institute

DETAILS (from Megan Hunter LinkedIn):
January 2007 – Present (4 years 11 months)

Professional training for people who handle high conflict disputes. Vice President and co-founder of High Conflict Institute. Developed the concept of the Institute after 13 years as the Family Law Specialist with the Arizona Supreme Court, Administrative Office of the Courts and Child Support Manager of the Dawes County Attorney’s Office in Nebraska.

As such, I’m sure Ms. Hunter is extremely well informed in diversionary purposes to which Child Support & TANF may be directed, including counseling and parent education….

August 1999 – July 2006 (7 years)

Judicial training, lead the review and revision of Arizona’s Child Support Guidelines, staffed two policy-recommending legislative committees, liaison between the courts, the executive and legislative branches and the State Bar to analyze and develop integrated strategies for system-wide improvements, managed various programs including parent education, conciliation court, case management, integrated family court, fatherhood and mediation, wrote educational brochures for the public, bench books for judges, member of federal child support task force responsible for creating national strategic plan, collaborated with academic institutions to integrate current empirical research into family law initiatives and laws, wrote and managed grants.

The background is Business and Economics, and clearly she’s good at it.  I WONDER how good that resume would’ve looked had she been the subject herself of an extended, high-conflict, violent, and dealing with a narcssistic personality disordered (sarcasm intended) “co-parent” and WITHOUT having anyone to voluntarily inform her — as most mothers leaving violence do NOT, because their advocates have sold them out for funding — the impact of the fatherhood programs upon her chances for justice — or any job stability — throughout the process?  Or for a coherent, rational — and economic — explanation of why the existing laws don’t mean much once an psychologizing-explicating-rationalizing-minimizing abuse professional is on the scene..

And what happened to this business outfit — not much verbiage under there for ”

Family Law Solutions (2006 -present, 5 years 11 months). 

I have gotten calls from women terrified that their police abuser was let out — or one recently, that the ex-kidnapper had served time and was back on the scene locally.  I do not have the means to help them, but if I DID have the means, I sure as hell would have the will, and I ahv SOUGHT the means to stop this insanity.

As President of the Arizona AFCC, Ms. Hunter even

mentioning “Family Law Solutions, LLC” would provide a wide readership, as in this fall 2006 newsletter

I forgot to mention another wonderful Arizona nonprofit, and an influential one in the family courts (and as to child support & custody):

Fathers & Families Coalition of America, Inc.
39 East Jackson Street
Phoenix, AZ, USA 85044

WELL, I hope this post left some food for thought, but I know it brought some links for looking at.  Again, there will have to be more and more “training institutes” and harder and harder efforts, as time progresses and the truths come out — to make sure that people outside the court system do not finish connecting the dots on WHY certain groups cannot describe abuse in its proper (which includes graphic) legal terms, and in just how much we are expected to sacrifice our children to the experts (or lose contact with them) for the sake of . . . .  “the children.”

We don’t need more “high conflict institutes.”  We need more honest and intervening neighbors, who KNOW their neighbors and are no longer misled into thinking the experts they paid for are doing their own dirty and emotionally distressing work for them — which is KNOWING better than to stand by while someone else is beat up or molested, in their home.  And KNOWING what really happens to kids who report to their teachers.   We cannot turn into a nation of “educators and educatees” – no sir!

I found this quote today (while looking for Sandra Brown, M.A.’s work background, which — unlike Ms. Hunters– is a lot harder to find).

It is listed under “THE BAKER ACT CONSPIRACY

A portion of the proceeds from the sale of this book
will be donated to the Citizens Commission on Human Rights of Florida and Amnesty International.
Chapter 1
The Manors
When I went to medical school, sixty years ago, there were only a handful of mental diseases. I think there were no more than six or seven. Now there are more than three hundred. And new ones are, quote, “discovered” every day. Labeling a child as mentally ill is stigmatization, not diagnosis. Giving a psychiatric drug is poisoning, not treatment. I have long maintained that the child psychiatrist is one of the most dangerous enemies, not only of children, but of adults, of all of us who care for the most precious and vulnerable things in life. And those two things are children and liberty. Now I ask again, how can parents protect themselves from the therapeutic state? That is from the alliance of government and psychiatry?
 Dr. Thomas S. Szasz Dinner Speech
(Used with permission of Dr. Szasz)
If you are adult enough to understand that by quoting something mentioning “scientology” this does not mean I am a Scientologist (likely one of the worst cults around, and similar in nature to the Unification Church which is why I keep blogging the latter’s role in the marriage/fatherhood movement.  It’s a slow sell, but people are beginning to notice the data I’ve provided — such as a member of the CHMC.org being a Unification Church member, etc.  Cults tend to resemble each other, when you get down to operational practices.  Anyhow, I’m going to go back and look at this site, which begins the book (if ever finished or not), like this — and it’s talking about psychiatric labeling of people for profit.
I saw you always within my walls. I felt you as you touched me. I could read your emotions and your thoughts. I never slept. I was made of bricks and mortar. I was the floors, the ceilings, the walls, and doors. I was five stories tall. I was The Manors. I was originally a public and later a private psychiatric hospital, located in Tarpon Springs, Florida, on the Gulf of Mexico. In the 1920s, I was built to be a golf resort, and I was gorgeous. Al Capone, in his drunken, syphilis-filled body, once shot me.
I became a public psychiatric hospital in 1953. I always attracted scrutiny for racketeering and patient abuse, but not even a federal grand jury investigation lasting over seven years could reveal my deepest and darkest secrets. No one saw the hundreds of millions of dollars obtained by my owners and their friends through Medicare, Medicaid, and private-insurance fraud. No one understood the extent of the abuse and manipulation of patients. No one, until now, knew the full extent of the abuse.
. . . If you think of organized crime as the Mafia and the Sopranos then you still live in the I Love Lucygeneration of mentality. The sole purpose of organized crime is making money, or, more accurately, acquiring it. I had observed organized crime operating within my walls for decades. It operated under the patronage of the pharmaceutical industry and through political donations to politicians in office. Vito Genovese would have been proud. . . .
 For those born to the very rich, the Kennedy or Rockefeller types, even insurance expiration provided no exit. Their families paid the $1,000 a day to keep them within my walls. Family peace of mind: a steal at $365,000 a year. The patient’s mind was a different matter: drugged daily for years, it was obliterated by mind-altering regimens of doctor-prescribed medication. Not even those who had committed themselves were allowed to leave. In the 1970s, the Florida legislature passed a law that stopped them: The Baker Act legalized involuntary psychiatric hospitalization. Once deemed a threat to themselves or others, those who sought to leave were Baker-Acted and kept within my walls against their will
(The writing is from point of view of the building and describes and undercover agent who ended up getting that building demolished.  The line, however, between psychologists (which cannot prescribe medicine) and psychiatrists and lawyers is being blurred, and the closer they begin to work together, IGNORING the cries of those abused and trafficked, the closer this entire country is to slavery — involuntary.
Stop swallowing things whole, stop ignoring who is running the “family courts” of america (let alone CPS), who is funding them, and (with me) start looking at some tax returns and corporate identities — for a change !!    ! !    ! ! ! !   New Ways for Families?
Here’s an old way:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident . . . . . ”  

Written by Let's Get Honest

November 16, 2011 at 10:48 am

Reader Quiz — What Decade Were These Stories? About Fathers..

with 2 comments

My last post (Luzerne County) was at least a triple-header, ending with some emotion over a mother of three who has taken her case to the international level in disgrace at the U.S. treatment of her civil rights.

I am changed as I blog also. Maybe it’s just another bunch of incidents to you, but to me, I learn and expand the context of this system, look at its history, reflect when compared with my immediate reality and acquired readings.

What I learned — yesterday — is this: Restraining orders are not enforceable, and probably never were. IF a police officer wishes to arrest, or needs to, the RO may make his job easier. But if he or she witnessed a violation of it, and does NOT wish to arrest, the protected person has no entitlement to that arrest, no matter whose life is at risk. Now that “Castle Rock v. Gonzales” has gone to the Supreme Court and been turned back, it is being quoted in similar cases to protect the officers (not the women or children). While most of government’s operations are self-justified on providing services and protection to the populace, who they are diligently training to expect this from them (and not from within or their local communities). This is closer to feudalism, serfdom, and monarchy.

U.S., Rome, or the British Empire?

It’s time to expose the truths that in the United States of America, and have moved from being “the colonies” (with the colonized populations that came along, or were removed from their lands during westward expansion) to being colonized (if not virtually cannibalized) by our own elected leaders, many who have some real “bad attitudes” towards those they are supposed to represent and serve. Power tends to congregate with power, and unless it’s kept in check, will simply continue to do so, justifying it with manipulation and manufactured “needs.”

  • (#1) we are closer to monarchy then ever before, and willingly/passively in more denial of it also, and
  • (#2) that this emperor has no clothes has been known for a long time; but the tacit “Bread-and-circuses” agreement to pretend we don’t know, is wearing as thin as the “social services” provided by the superstructure. and
  • (#3) in a country such as the U.S., with this Constitution elected officials are sworn with an oath to uphold, the pretense that in practice we are actually OPERATING as a republic (not democracy) is even more deceptive.

Who has the bread, the weapons, and the supply lines to the decision-makers? Who’s issuing the propaganda? That’s the power base. As of about 1980, 1991 (creation of the Health & Human Services/Administration for Children and Families Dept./Operational Div. in the Executive Branch of Government of which the CEO is our President), the fields of propagation (family design) and the downward to Head Start & Home Visitation (education) up through university (foundations sponsoring studies and institutes, often regarding fatherhood and marriage, and the entire work force) have gone from idolizing motherhood (while tolerating beating mothers) and, in response to mothers getting OUT of some of that (feminism/violence against women movement, battered shelters, etc.) to scapegoating single mothers on welfare (for being on welfare), (see bottom of my post), to simply eliminating the word mother from association with the word “family” or “children.”

This is starting to resemble the planned production of human beings from womb to tomb, with the aide of pharmaceutics, apparently, and mental health professionals to categorize and drug the dissidents, which any mother in her right mind would be when she’s been beaten in the home, or terrorized there (or for attempting to leave it) and has noticed — which is what mothers do — the effect of this on her children. They are educated to subjugation and only to the level of their intended place in a fully managed society.

When I say “womb” to “tomb,” I do mean just that . . . . It’s being studied and categorized, and one major database is at ICPSR below. Fertility, lethality, and population studies in 3 urban centers (Chicago, Boston, San Antonia, TX).

Those “in” and cooperate on the planning and distribution of this will prosper, while the supply lasts, and receive government grants and contracts in abundance, which will then compromise them from informing the subject matter (human beings) what the overall plan is. For example

  • HQ in Denver: PSI (“policy-studies.com” is the URL, “Performance, Services, Integrity” is the motto)
    • Under Child Support Enforcement (one of the 3 major “solutions” area they outsource):
      • Noncustodial Parent Programs (“Through our innovative approach, PSI can help increase your collections and improve results for families. Our NCP program expertise extends across the following areas”)
        • Case management and community resource referrals
        • Enhanced child support services
        • Employment and training assistance
        • Peer support for NCPs
        • Parenting and conflict resolution classes
        • Access and visitation services
        • Mediation services
        • Mental health and substance abuse referrals
        • Legal referrals
  • HQ in Los Angeles: AFCC (“Association of Family & Conciliation Courts“)
    • AFCC brings together members of multiple disciplines in the public, private and nonprofit sectors, from all over the world. As a nonprofit professional association, AFCC is unique because members do not share a common profession. Instead, AFCC members share a strong commitment to education, innovation and collaboration in order to benefit communities, empower families and promote a healthy future for children.
    • “History of Innovation and Positive Change”For more than 45 years, AFCC and its members have served as a catalyst for generating major reforms. Dispute resolution processes such as child custody mediation, parenting coordination, and divorce education are just a few of the innovative ideas developed by AFCC members. AFCC developed Models Standards of Practice for Family and Divorce Mediators, Child Custody Evaluators and Parenting Coordinators. Task forces and special projects address the ongoing challenges faced by AFCC members and the families they serve. AFCC actively disseminates innovations and ideas {“Parental Alienation, anyone? Mandatory mediation, anyone? Shared parenting, presumption anyone?”} to its members. The ripple effect can be seen in courts and communities throughout the world. {ONE of those stories I copy at length, below, in blue. The ripple effect was most definitely felt, and you can read about it, below.}
  • HQ in Denver: what I call “CPR” (Center or Policy Research) [Since 1981, 6 women, only!]

Did I mention that Jessica Pearson is also (per some sources) a founding member of the AFCC, if not also CRC?

  • In fact AFCC, CRC, CPR, PSI, HHS funded studies, and conclusions that MOST of our nation’s real poverty, inner-city, crime & juvenile delinquency problems is simply the ration of sex/conception/marriage, i.e., too few fathers (as opposed to, poor-quality fathers) in the home, and that the solution to this is through seamlessly blending mental health services with child support services, with the legal process — tend to congregate around similar key players.
  • Don’t believe me? See RandiJames’ “The List or Liz Richards pointing this out in 1993 “Fathers Rights and corrupt judicial cronies,” or again, in 2010, to the House Ways & Means Committee (found at House.gov, this committee, June 17, 2010 hearings, on left side), or an indignant “Fathers Battling Injustice” 2001 complaint “Liz Richards Hates Fathers with a Passion, which provides (if you scroll down) a good listing of key players and their interrelationships — including those on the CRC (Children’s Rights Council) 501(c)3 incorporation papers, and tying into others pushing mediation and Gardner’s “PAS” philosophies through the courts. I’ll try to upload that listing….

Around 1998, a disgruntled grandfather — and CPA — started tracking some of the founding documents of this AFCC, and has something to say about the money trail related to Jessica Pearson of CPR, and AFCC, who weems to be (with others) women of some real foresight and planning, and ingenuity in desgining systems — and evading tax accountability. THIS is listed UNDER “Is Justice for sale in L.A.” a.k.a. at “johnnypumphandle.com”

    • :Mr. Bryer’s Tort Claim of 1998. You can hear his tone of indignation and upset, and he flat-out calls this Mafia, RICO, money-laundering, etc. The people he is talking about are listed in part, above. I doubt if he ever got justice, or compensation (let alone more discovery), but at least me blew the whistle!. People who want to “reform” the courts ought to at least read the material. OR, they could go back and try to reason more with a professional that may or may not be one of these type of conspirators from long ago. The system remains, I’m pretty well deducing at this point.
  • Another take on AFCC et al.: He’s not talking psychology or sociology, but money, IRS, EIN#s and incorporations…
    • DESCRIPTION: The ACCUSED ( by this complaint) are part of an underground of white collar criminals who are involved in the theft of CITY, COUNTY, STATE, and FEDERAL money. The scheme started before their time as an organization known as the CONFERENCE OF CONCILIATION COURTS. That organization changed its identity and assumed the name ASSOCIATION OF FAMILY CONCILIATION COURTS. Using various identity changes, the organization was listed in the LOS ANGELES SUPERVISORS DIRECTORY in 1993 as JUDGES TRUST FUND ACCOUNTING.The crime ring is an underground Mafia that posed as the COUNTY OF LOS ANGELES – by using the FEDERAL EMPLOYMENT IDENTIFICATION NUMBER 95-6000927. In recent dramatic announcements, the INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE has informed me that the EIN or FEIN number assigned to the latest version of the organization – the – LOS ANGELES SUPERIOR COURT JUDGES ASSOCIATION – is an EIN that was not assigned to the organization. It Is a COUNTY OF LOS ANGELES EIN!

      I previously attempted to get this discovery – in the lawsuit BRYER vs PENTONEY – but 298 judges and commissioners in LOS ANGELES were disqualified on a ruse orchestrated by JUDGE GARY KLAUSNER – a ring leader of the scheme. JUDGE GARY KLAUSNER’S name is on the signature card of BANK OF AMERICA account listed under the name LOS ANGELES SUPERIOR COURT JUDGES ASSOCIATION EIN 95-6000927.

      I was forced into the corrupt county – ORANGE COUNTY – where a co-conspirator named JAMES P. GRAY told me he would throw me in jail if I tried to make any more discoveries. FEARING FOR MY LIFE in a county that is FOREIGN to me – I dismissed my case without prejudice and continued to seek discovery away from the strength of ORANGE COUNTYCONCLUSION: My family and myself have been robbed of our money and our rights by a conspiracy that has operated since 1962. In 1962 a JUDGE NAMED ROGER ALTON PFAFF and his cohort – MEYER ELKIN. The association was called the CONFERENCE OF CONCILIATION COURTS. This association routed money through the LOS ANGELES COUNTY CONCILIATION COURT -111 North Hill Street, Los Angeles California, 90012, ROOM 241. In 1969 – the association incorporated and has NEVER PAID taxes. Assuming they used EIN 95-6000927 – then duping the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT was easy. In 1979 the corporation was suspended. There is no record that they surrendered their bank account or the EIN. In California – the organization filed as a CIVIC LEAGUE – Revenue and Tax Code 23701g. A CONCILIATION COURT is NOT A CIVIC LEAGUE. The exemption certificate was mailed to a lawyer named Michael Aaronson at P.O. Box 1055, San Carlos California 94070. The STATE 3500 papers states the organization was to improve marriage counseling. However, conciliation court is a STATUTORILY mandated function of the COURT – not a private corporation for lying and thieving judges and their court staff. The income was alleged to be derived from dues and contributions. In reality, the funds came from laundering legal education money through the COURT CONCILIATION DEPARTMENT through the FINANCE DEPARTMENT.

      In an incredible BREACH – a Judge from Detroit Michigan was listed as the Second Vice President His name is Victor J. Baum. The corporation number is 576876. I have no record of what EIN they used.

      In 1981 – I presume their bank account was still open and they created a new identity called the Association of Family Conciliation Courts. [CPR, above, dates to 1981 also as a nonprofit] This time – Margaret Little – FAMILY COURT SERVICES for LOS ANGELES, and a Colorado individual named Jessica Pearson orchestrated yet another version of the LOS ANGELES COUNTY COURTHOUSE SCHEME. Pearson borrowed the EIN of the WISCONSIN AFCC and claimed her office was in Colorado as an ILLINOIS corporation. The LOS ANGELES COUNTY COURTHOUSE became PEARSON’S and Dr MARGARET LITTLE’S California – FOREIGN – CORPORATION.

    • (WI, Colorado, L.A. and IL if you can keep up with that…)
    • I just found a strange, but possibly corroborating 1986 document, the “February 1986 Newsletter of the Alabama Court News, “Newsletter of the Alabama Judicial System” On page 3, it reads, under headline: “Federal Grant funds Sexual Abuse Study:
    • The Research Unit of the …(AFCC) and the American Bar Association have been awarded a grant from the federal dept. of Human Development Services* to study sexual abuse allegations in divorce cases. The goal of the study is to find how court officials [such as…?] are presently handling such matters, identify preferred procedures, and develop educational materials on the subject.” “Court officials [sic] desiring to participate in the study should contact AFCC at the following address:

    • [Wow… Preferred procedures for handling sexual abuse allegations in divorce cases, such as — Gardner’s theories? They want to educate judges how to rule?] Also – it says since 1981 — at that address:]
    • [*Note: the HUGE “HHS that now dispenses welfare, child support, medicare, head start funds, and sometimes is the largest (as to expenses) Exec Branch Dept — was formed in 1991, as I recall. This is 5 years earlier).

  • In fact the information arm is one of the most important, to quell rebellion before it gets going.

Maybe Rome went down because of lead in the pipes, or maybe some “karma” (or god) just got sick of all the slaughter for entertainment. Ever read about what happened in that Colosseum?

Back to this millennium — and the last decades

of the last one (1980-2010). In re: marriage, abuse, divorce, custody..

And the concept of “protection from abuse” or “restraining orders” as if they were NOT certifiably insane, as to fulfilling their supposed purpose of protecting or restraining.

While the literature tends to focus on, “it’s just a piece of paper and can’t stop a bullet,” the ones we REALLY can’t count on are the arresting officers. It’s an additional component of Russian Roulette that a woman can’t afford. And suing for any sort of damages on the basis of, they had a duty to protect, a procedural due process right to the victim, a substantive due process right to the victim, or in short, any consequences that “absolute judicial immunity” or the 11th amendment wouldn’t make LEGALLY protected (let alone the practical aspects) — they don’t, and probably never did.

Some judges are crooked — I don’t know how many. Some attorneys are also, and get nailed on RICO like the Luzerne judges did, RICO (“Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations“) being a criminal enterprise. There’s a case I may post out of suburban Chicago (older) where the husband (an attorney) did murder for hire, but not until he’d conspired in advance to wire-tap (jealous), someone had been prepared to dispose of the body (i.e., of his wife) and someone had been prepared to obstruct the investigation. (Alan & Dianne G. Masters, West Suburban Chicago, 1982 she disappears~ 1988 RICO charges)

As RICO does require some organizational skills, and Masters had already been engaged in other forms of crime, all the players to add murder-for-hire to this were in place, and he didn’t resist the temptation to engage, showing us to drop our illusions that every person in public office, or in positions of power, influence, and with access to streams of $$ isn’t per se there for service. Some are, some aren’t. And the ones that aren’t would be normally attracted to people in compromised situations (like a troublesome traffic ticket, an illegal enterprise of their own, or divorcing with children from a frighteningly dangerous spouse who’s already committed some crimes against your body, or your child’s). This attorney was acting more like a pimp with a stable, and some affiliate marekting reps in uniform. Maybe he liked the thrill of the danger and risk (one sees definite business skills that migh twork just as well in legal activities) or maybe it was simple greed.

It didn’t save her life, and no one was ever charged for murder, but the three “perps” got caught on racketeering and put away for a good many years, and fined. Oh yeah, and he had a $100,000 life insurance policy on his wife also.

So are some officers. And some are good. – – – – that’s just life. Why, then, (though) when women come for help, were they then (1990s) and now (2000s) doling out protection from abuse orders as if they were reliably enforceable? They aren’t. They’re real good at getting men angry though.

~ ~ ~ ~I can’t put my story up (or too much of it). But it’s been so many years in this system here. My infrastructure is repeatedly broken down, year after year, and access to things like transportation, (sometimes food), internet, health care (uninsured presently) just shouldn’t be.

~ ~ ~ ~If you have not been in a situation similar to the one I’m about to post (the part below is summary of her judicial proceedings after deciding to leave– having gotten a real severe beating (while naked), a threat for another, having had a young daughter molested by a visiting stepson, her husband was no inner city young black male, but a nasty computer analyst who’d (it turned out) abused his first wife, too.

~ ~ ~ ~Sleep deprivation is a factor and technique of weakening someone (I know). Attack on personal private parts (ditto). Rules almost uniformly designed to remove one’s humanity, with severe punishment for falling short (and they’re impossible to fulfil) with no rule for him. . . . .Having to choose which child you can do more to protect, potentially sacrificing something important for the other. Having your strength or skills as a professional work against you post-divorce. Historic revisionism (no remorse or acknowledgement of injury, and of course the father was the real caretaker all those years). Health care professionals treating injuries and not really asking questions. Your kids watching the assaults.

I’ll pick up this story mid-stream. See if you recognize the characters: judge, psychologists, attorneys (#1, 2, and 3), theme of supervised visitation, and her knowledge that if she requested it, he’d go for custody, professionals continually minimizing the situation and playing their own games . . . all too familiar.

I want to say something about “stories.” THEY HELPED ME while I was in the abusive relationship. One of the cruelest things is the isolation and dealing with the man’s anger when he perceives you may be connecting with someone who might validate or connect with you, and to whom you might report. You might get out, but there also may (or may not) be retaliation for doing so. Or you might be put through hell beforehand, so you get out, in public, in trauma, shaking, or in shock. One trick pulled frequently in our home (with kids) was I’d have enough gas in the car to get there (when a car was available) but not enough to get back. Hearing of women who got out HELPED me. If nothing else, to feel less guilty.

I pick up the story mid-stream, and admit that I am exhausted today.

Overall, I found the lawyers and psychologists very self–promoting and egotistical. It seemed as if everyone was having a good time, playing the game of litigation and psychology. All the while, my life was on the line. My children and I did not matter. I also felt like the lawyers and psychologists were running a cash register business at my expense. They were a lot more interested in my money than my welfare. The first two years of my divorce proceedings cost me more than twenty–five thousand dollars.

As incredible as it might sound, the judge who heard my custody case had an outstanding protective order against him by his ex–wife. I also sensed very strongly that the judge did not like me. For these reasons, I told my lawyer I wanted to seek the judge’s recusal. My lawyer dismissed me, saying, “You’ll just get someone worse.”

@ @ @ @ @Z

I probably never would have gotten Daniel back, except that Russ’s live–in girlfriend (with whom he is still living) contacted the children’s psychologist to report that he was abusing Daniel. This was four or five months after Russ had gained custody of Daniel. I think the girlfriend made her revelation partly because I had told her that Russ was planning to seek full custody of Elizabeth, too. Russ was not really taking care of the kids; the girlfriend was. When she learned that he would be going after Elizabeth too, she said, “WHAT???!!!” I think she cared about the children and knew that Russ’s having custody would be harmful and dangerous for them, plus, I doubt she was interested in being the caretaker for both kids.

After learning about Russ’s abuse of Daniel, I immediately went to my lawyer (Lawyer #3), demanding an immediate petition for a change of custody. He said we could not seek a modification of custody because it was too soon. He said, “Let the ink dry on the judge’s custody order.” That was the last straw and I fired him.

I got a new lawyer and a new psychologist. I recorded a telephone conversation with Russ’s girlfriend about the abuse of Daniel. Russ’s girlfriend was subpoenaed, and because of the recording, I knew––and Russ knew––that the abuse of Daniel would come out. Even if Russ intimidated her into changing her testimony, I think he knew that the tape was credible.

Faced with a situation he could not win, Russ folded. He agreed to a modification and I regained custody of Daniel. I grabbed at the chance to get custody back, even though I had to agree that Russ could have unsupervised visitation with the children. I knew Russ would never agree to supervised visitation. I did not want, and could not pay for, another long, drawn–out battle in court. Besides, based on what I had seen, I did not want to risk what a judge might do.

As far as I am concerned, Russ agreed to the change of custody to save face. No one in authority ever held him accountable for his abuse. People in authority, like the judge and the psychologists, always supported him and held a good opinion of him. Russ wanted to maintain his good image at all costs. By giving up custody of Daniel without a fight, he could avoid the public humiliation of being outed as an abuser.

He portrayed the custody change to the children as a sacrifice he was making because he loved them so much. “This is what’s best for you,” he said. Once again, he took no responsibility for doing anything wrong in abusing Daniel. He showed no remorse.

Even after I had custody of both kids, Russ continued to engage in repeated violations of my protective order through phone harassment and stalking. Additionally, his son, Chip, was there unsupervised when the kids visited Russ. Apparently, though, Chip did not abuse either child further.

@ @ @ @

C. Attitudes Need to Change More than the Law

Domestic violence law is certainly far better than it has been in the past. We have seen progress in the legislative, [77] judicial, [78] and executive [79] arenas. Positive legislative reform is on–going, though there is a backlash as well, driven primarily by the Fathers’ Rights movement. [80]

Changes in the law are important. With better law, good people (judges, police, etc.) can do more and bad ones are limited in the harm they can cause. Law can also have an educational effect. A judge or police officer who initially resists laws and policies that are appropriate for domestic violence cases may ultimately come to see their value.

Mary’s story shows, however, that the primary problem is not with the law but with the human beings who interpret and administer it. The legal system betrayed Mary, but not because it lacked the power to act differently. The judges, psychologists, and lawyers could have protected Mary and her children. They could have understood woman battering, or made a point of educating themselves about it. They could have let go of their stereotypes about what batterers and their victims “look like” and how they act. They could have reexamined their values, under which abuse of Mom is irrelevant to Dad’s fitness as a parent. The list continues indefinitely.

Mary’s custody judge easily had the power to find that full custody with Mary was in the children’s “best interest” [81] and that Russ’s visitation had to be supervised. [82] The judge could have warned Russ, not Mary, that he had to be on his best behavior or he would lose even supervised visitation. The judge could have ordered Russ to undergo batterers’ counseling as a precondition for even supervised visitation. [83]

My point is simple: this did not have to happen. Without in any way ignoring or bending the law, Mary, the children––and Russ––could have been dealt with appropriately. Mary and her children, especially Daniel, may pay for the system’s sexism, ignorance, and indifference for a lifetime. And, as Mary says, society pays too when the aftermath of abuse spills out, as it often will, beyond the family.

@ @ @ @

F. Any “Solution” Not Based on Battered Women’s Experiences
Is Doomed to Failure

We cannot know what to do about domestic violence unless we listen to survivors’ stories. In them are the keys to solutions. Battered women and formerly battered women are telling us what works and what does not. People with professional training can help, but only if their actions and recommendations are based on what battered women and formerly battered women say. [116]

Women like Mary tell us that mediation, joint custody, and couples counseling can be terrible for battered women, [117] yet certain professionals continue to advocate for these things in domestic violence cases. [118] Their arguments, however, are from the viewpoint of the mediator or the system, not the battered woman and her children. [119] Women’s safety concerns are either not addressed or minimized. [120]

Proponents of mediation in domestic violence cases express a near–magical belief in mediation and mediators. They believe that the mediator can tell when mediation is not appropriate or when it should be stopped [121] (another example of the helper’s ego surfacing). Sadly, the only expertise that seems to count is the mediator’s. Battered women’s expertise does not seem to matter. [122]

Sometimes, it seems that battered women’s voices are getting more and more lost. The field has become professionalized, [123] semi–respectable, [124] and partially funded. [125] There has been a parallel tendency to turn the focus away from the victims and toward the professionals. [126]

I do not want to be misunderstood here. I have absolutely no nostalgia for the “good old days” when shelters did not exist or led threadbare existences, and when a professor who wanted to teach Domestic Violence would have been laughed off campus. I have been doing domestic violence work far too long for such foolishness. I relish the voice, the power, and even the respectability that our movement has achieved. But people who really care about battered women must remain ever vigilant against those whose solutions come from their own professional experience and not from victims’ lives.

@ @ @

As a mother and wife, I absolutely agree that families need rules. Nothing is sadder than a house where “anything goes” and there are no rules; everyone is unhappy, especially the children. [131] Nor do I think that every rule, even if somewhat imposed by one family member over others, is abusive.

But rules are different in a batterer’s house. They are never negotiated; they are always imposed. [132] And rulemaking is a one–way street: the batterer sets rules for other family members, while he does exactly as he pleases. [133] Russ ordered Mary not to watch comedies on television, just as he announced that he was quitting his job. Mary knew that even suggesting alternatives might result in violence. But Russ could be away for days at a time, and Mary was not to question his actions.

The rules in a batterer’s house are not just for his comfort and enjoyment. They are an integral part of his plan to control and isolate his partner. [134] As Mary said, the rule about no comedies on television meant she could not exercise her sense of humor, an important part of her self–image. Batterer’s rules also control matters such as whether and when she can leave the house, and how she can spend money. [135] Many rules reinforce the victim’s isolation, such as rules about not having any of her friends over or going out with other people after work. [136][137] She might hear something that made her feel good while listening to the radio, or she might hear a description of domestic violence and recognize herself and start planning her escape. Looking out at the world from her kitchen window (or having someone else look in and see what was going on) might decrease her isolation. Even “little” rules, like “don’t play the radio when I’m gone” and “keep the curtain in the kitchen down” are part of an overall pattern of isolation.

In the functional family, rules are negotiated and renegotiated. [138] One partner may give in to the other, but both partners engage in some give and take. The rules may not fulfill everyone’s needs, but they do not destroy family members’ self–esteem either. [139] In functional families, people are basically satisfied with the rules. [140]

Second, the batterer’s list of rules is ridiculously long and ever expanding and changing. [141] While his partner and children are struggling to comply with his existing demands, new and often contradictory rules are added. [142] This again is in marked contrast with the non–abusive “dinner at six” dad. We have all known non–abusive families where one member (usually, but not always, the father) must be catered to, but his demands are limited and stable. Further, the demanding but non–abusive family member is capable of being satisfied. “Just feed him on time and he’s a happy man” is not something an abused wife would say.

Finally, there is the punishment imposed for non–compliance with rules. [143] The non–abusive man does not beat or rape his wife or children if dinner is not on the table at six. He may pout for a while, or whine, he may even occasionally yell. His reaction may be unhealthy, but the other family members do not live in terror of what will happen if the rules are not met.

Identification protocols for battered women should include questions about rulemaking. [144] Something like this would be good: “Every household has rules under which it operates. Tell me about the ones in your house. What are the rules? How are they established? What happens when they’re not met?” With a sympathetic ear and a little prodding, a battered woman may quickly identify a long list of onerous and changing rules, imposed by the abuser and ruthlessly enforced by him. [145] If she is still in the relationship, or just getting out, she may describe the rules matter–of–factly, and may consider them normal. [146] One advantage of asking about the rules is that she may talk about them much more readily and with less shame than about the violence she has experienced. [147]

H. How Physical and Non–Physical Abuse Work Together:
Why Do We See It as Torture When [XxxxxXxxx] Generals Do It,
But Not When It’s the Guy Next Door?

People are still very ignorant about domestic violence and how it works. If you talk to people and read news reports, the emphasis is always on physical violence. [148] Mary encountered this ignorance when the psychologists, judges, and lawyers minimized her danger because the last severe beating occurred a year and a half before Mary left Russ for good.

~ ~ ~ ~

In other settings, we are well aware of how torturers combine physical and mental abuse to get and keep power over their victims. [154] Appendix B is one of my favorite charts, adapted from Ann Jones’s book Next Time, She’ll Be Dead. [155] In the left–hand column are non–physical torture methods that Amnesty International has recognized and cata

logued. [156] Totalitarian regimes often use these techniques against political prisoners. [157] In the right–hand column are battered women’s descriptions of how their batterers used these same techniques to control them. [158] I have added some examples from Mary’s story to what appears in Jones’s book.

Those who work with battered women must understand the interplay of physical and non–physical abuse. When seen in context, a “slap” is not just a “slap”; it is a warning that the victim must comply with the batterer’s demands “or else.” Repeated phone calls to her at work are not just a sign of a little insecurity. They are part of an overall scheme of isolation and control. Busting up the furniture at home, or throwing the cat against the wall are not unfortunate temper tantrums; they say, “you could be next.” [159]

We should recognize domestic violence as the human rights violation it is. [160] We should draw analogies between domestic violence and torture, [161] to kidnappers and hostages. [162]


(hover cursor above to find the copyright and which attorney related the story).

Hover over THIS and I’ll tell you when this woman married & got her RO.

It could’ve been a decade later, and wouldn’t have read much different. I found this story after, with curiosity, searching on the man who wrote the article below. I hope readers may go back (click on this link, the “READER QUIZ” link) and actually read Mary’s Story, which was an actual case (name changed), and too damn typical. I doubt a person who has experienced abuse would respond the same as one who hasn’t.

NOW, for comic relief, of the monotous drone of fatherlessness being the nation’s crisis (and we have JUST the solution to fix it . . . . ).

Fall of marriage seen linked to decline in domestic murders Drop in homicides called ‘ironic benefit’ of change

The decline of marriage and the breakdown of stable relationships have produced a paradoxical benefit: Domestic murders have declined, with the most dramatic reductions among African- Americans, a University of Missouri criminologist reported yesterday.

“We’re living at a time of dramatic changes in marriage, intimate relationships and family structure,” said Richard Rosenfeld, speaking in Baltimore at the meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science. “Those changes have had an ironic benefit in reducing the number of intimate-partner homicides.”

Dr. Rosenfeld’s findings are the flip side of the much-reported increase in young men killing young men, which he said may be attributed in part to similar factors — family instability and lack of supervision by harried single parents


(author date & cite show when cursor hovers over link)

OK, now that you know when Dr. Rosenfled (a criminologist, not a PSYchologist) found out that the decline in marriage rates among African Americans meant reduced DV homicides among African Americans (although young men were killing each other more, they weren’t apparently killing so many wives or “intimate partners.” )

Let’s say what the head-honcho elected mostly white men were saying about the same year:

I searched the 104th Congress (1995-1996) for the word “fatherless.”

As we know, fatherlessness has been for so long blamed on the nation’s troubles that you can barely walk somewhere in a government agency, or any social service community agency (after you come back from either a Catholic church, where the (celibate?) priests are called “Father” in direct disobedience to Jesus’s command in the gospels, “call no man Father.” Or, an evangelical Protestant, not quite mainline (or, megachurch) where, after the ranks were being drained to women, they are adding testosterone to the doctrine, and teaching men to be more sensitive (in men’s groups, of course).

If you want to go without the straight-up religious variety, there’s always “The Mankind Project” and one can get a seminar of the Robert Bly type. There are fatherhood practitioners everywhere one looks, practically.

All I really wanted was the conversation where a legislator expresses shock and dismay that African American boys and girls are waking up on homes without their fathers. (NOTE: The “Mary” story above happened in the late 1980s, and HER 3 kids were waking up with their father in the home. In fact, her little girl Elizabeth, at age 3, had gotten an early introduction to sex when her stepbrother came there for the summer and molested her, after which her mother had another job of making sure they weren’t left alone together. (That couple were white and suburban, so maybe they didn’t count in this topic).

I got a little more than I expected in this 104th Congressional record:


I met a man who was an administrator of one of the hospitals in my community in the 15th District of Florida, and this gentleman told me that, before he had moved to Florida, he had lived in Oklahoma, and he had taken part in a program where he would go into inner city housing projects and read to young children in those projects. This program started because it has been shown in research studies that, if you read to a child, you can improve their reading score. Actually there are some studies that show that, if you read to a child, you may actually be able to raise their IQ slightly, {{Noble cause. Some Oklahoman going to raise inner city kids’ IQs}} and he told me something that I will never forget.

So this anecdotal evidence of an unnamed Florida Hospital Administrator, about (how many years previous?) that administrator going into the projects (hence, he wasn’t from them) was not 2nd-hand but 3rd-hand hearsay — if the event ever indeed happened. The impassioned delivery is to state how Welfare is Cruel — listen up how this is done:

He was going into those projects and reading to those kids, and those children were, by and large, children of single parents on welfare, and he would ask, many of them 5, 6 and 7-year-old children, `What do you want to be when you grow up?’ And, yes, some of them would say I want to be a fireman or a nurse, but some of them would say:

`I don’t want to work. I want to collect a check.’

Not all of them wanted to be firemen or nurses (separate by gender; I don’t know how many female fire”men” there are these days, but we know there are lots of male nurses… And probably were in 1996, too..)

Mr. Speaker, a program that does that to millions of children is not a program of compassion and caring to children. It is a program that is cruel and mean spirited to children.

Here’s the process — a man in Florida heard a man in Florida talk about his experience trying to improve the iQ of little kids in the projects (did he talk to their Mamas?) in Oklahoma, and concludes that (although even in the story some WANTED a profession, others wanted a check) FEEDING such children was mean-spirited and cruel…

Today a young male being born to a mother, a single mother on welfare in the United States, has a greater likelihood of ending up on drugs or in the penitentiary than graduating from high school.

I showed in “Luzerne County” that you don’t have to be poor or (presumable here) black to be a crook. There’s a difference between being a crook and actually being jailed for it. It should be common knowledge now, and I bet then (1996) that America, being the largest jailor (per capita) has those jails disproportionately filled with black males. Some of them got their assaulting their mother’s attacker, too. He’s taking two statistics (if that) and creating a CASUAL connection rather than a CAUSAL one. Of course, how many poor black males — or females of any social status or color — were there in Congress in 1996 to comment on his reasoning process?

And the young females, (single mothers have both boys and girls, right?) — are THEY ending up on drugs or in jail?

The problem that we have with illegitimacy in our Nation today is a problem that has been created by the program that we are trying to change, and you cannot fix this problem by tinkering around the edges. The illegitimacy rate in this country has gone up from 5 percent to almost 25 percent in the white community. In the black community it has gone from less than 25 percent to, in some areas, as high as 70 percent.

If you look at what correlates best, what correlates in communities with problems like teenage pregnancy, drug use, illiteracy, juvenile crime, the thing that correlates best in those problems in those communities, Mr. Speaker, is the amount of illegitimacy, the amount of fatherlessness in those communities. A program that perpetuates and cultivates things like this is a cruel and mean-spirited program, and that program needs to be changed, and our bill makes a serious attempt at doing that.

We are not talking about tinkering around the edges. We are talking about promoting family unity, discouraging teen-age pregnancy and illegitimacy.

The fact that this program perpetuates it, Mr. Speaker, was driven home to me when I was a medical student working in an inner-city obstetrics clinic, and I had a 15-year-old girl come in to see me who was pregnant, and I had never seen this before, and I was so upset. I was grieved to see this. I looked at her and said her life is ruined, she cannot go to college, and I said to her, `How did this happen, why did this happen,’ and she looked up to me and told me that she did it deliberately because she wanted to get out from under her mother in the project, and she wanted her own place and her own welfare check.

Again, on the outside looking in, and one anecdote.

This program needs to stop. The people have asked for it; we are trying to deliver.

WHICH people? I mean, these are elected representatives, are they really speaking for their constituents?

Mr. Speaker, I encourage the Members of the minority to stop their partisan rhetoric and join with us in reforming welfare and creating a program for the poor and the needy that strengthens family, does not undermine them, that strengthens the bonds of marriage, because it is strong families that make strong communities that makes strong nations, and our Nation cannot survive with a perpetuation of a program like this.

Is it the lack of marriage, or the lack of fathers that counts? Because I tell you one thing that makes lack of fathers — WARS. Another thing that previously, broke up families in a callous manner is called slavery.

Who created ghettoes? Who created the two-tier school system, good for some lousy for others (a factor to this date). Who directed one populace into “jobs” and the others (elite ones) into how to run businesses and understand investments, political connections, foundations, and skills that would go along with that goal?

So if you want to know how much we (we WHO???) have invested in the old welfare program over the past 30 years, it is roughly the equivalent of the value of all buildings, all plants and equipment, and all of the tools of all the workers in the United States of America. No society in history has ever invested more money trying to help needy people than the United States of America has invested.

Yet, what has been the result of all of those good intentions? What has been the result of that investment? The result of that investment, 30 years later, is that we have as many poor people today as we had 30 years ago. They are poorer today, they are more dependent on the Government today, and by any definition of quality of life, fulfillment, or happiness, people are worse off today than they were when we started the current welfare system.

When we started the War on Poverty {{and another war in Southeast Asia to follow up on the Korean war I guess}} in the mid-1960s, two-parent families were the norm in poor families in America. Today, two-parent families are the exception. Since 1965, the illegitimacy rate has tripled.

I know that we have colleagues on the other side of the aisle who are going to lament the passage of this new welfare reform bill. But I do not see how anybody with a straight face, or a clear conscience, can defend the status quo in welfare. Our current welfare program has failed. It has driven fathers out of the household. It has made mothers dependent. It has taken away people’s dignity. It has bred child abuse and neglect, and filled the streets of our cities with crime. And we are here today to change it.

Grammar: Is this guy going to “own” the welfare program, or objectify it? First it was guilt trip, “we have created” and net thing it’s got an independent life, like a disease, perpetuating itself of its own accord, where it can be separated from the rhetorical bosom of the speaker, and be viewed running around tearing up the place. As an “it” it can now have stones thrown at IT first. And after the vivid picture of 5, 6 , 7 year olds wanting to collect a welfare check (“millions of them”) (Seriously, that’s the subliminal message — guilt trip first, it’s ours” and then relieve the guilt by blaming the same thing “we” created, and QUICK, call to action.….) Some action is needed to take away

Let me outline what our program does. I think if each of us looks back to a period when our ancestors first came to America, or back to a time when those who have gone before us found themselves poor, we are going to find that there are two things that get individuals and nations out of poverty. Those two things are work and family. I think it is instructive to note that those are the two things that we have never applied to the current welfare program of the United States of America.

This man seems totally unconscious of the fact that SOME ancestors came to America in the bottom of a slave ship; that a lot of wealth, including likely some of the wealth that helped put people in Congress, came from came from businesses that included plantation labor, sweat shops, and some very, very hard work. When he says “us” as to doling out benefits, he also seems to have forgotten that those taxes came from employees’ wages, courtesy a few reforms dating back to 1939. He seems to have forgotten everything about “Jim Crow” and era of attempting to turn back the clock on some serious industriousness by freed slaves.

The bill before us asks people to work. It says that able-bodied men and women will be required to work in order to receive benefits. It sets a time limit so that people cannot make welfare a way of life. It seeks to change the incentives within the welfare system. And I believe the time has come to change those incentives within the welfare system.

I admit I’m maybe sensitive to this because I know HOW HARD I worked over the years, and none harder than while in a battering relationship that could’ve been a variety of the one above (but a decade later). This relationship, within marriage shouldn’t be happening any more in the 1970s, 1980s, 1990s, or 2000s, but it is.

Family Court Systems Purposefully Mask Abuse and Abusers

(SEPARATE TOPIC, above)) just saving the link).

A recovered, stolen child, now grown, talks about the experience…

with one comment


THIS post is a comment reply from a man who is speaking up about his childhood abduction and recovery. 

I think the story speaks for itself, in his voice.  Any emphases are mine, as well as paragraphing.  I tried to comment less than usual, but still did some..

I would like to first thank you for the review of my book, Throwing Stones.

{{I don’t actually have your book, will get it when I am able…  I reviewed the website in response to your earliest comment on this blog.  I also hope to write one.}}

I wish to address a couple questions you raised in your review and also respond to the above comment, since the writer has asked me, the author, to answer: First, you emailed me a comment about the spelling of my last name. I could find no place on there where the spelling was not “Ken Connelly”. If you have found a place where ‘Connelly’ is not spelled that way, please point it out and I will have it remedied.

Second, as to how I was recovered, well that was an interesting and very frightening experience- My father had managed to remarry at the end of our abduction.

{{He was going to need some help with the children, obviously.  In our situation, he first found the new woman and then snatched.  At this point, I’m still not clear (being the Mom) of who was MORE provoking that snatch — the new woman, or the father.  This involving a 2nd adult caretaker figure to punish the first is cruel..}}

My siblings and I were ordered not to tell anyone, especially his new wife and children our true past as abducted children. My father had a way about him that you did not cross. You have to remember, this person feeds you, clothes you, and gives you shelter. I often use the example that if you take a puppy and give it food, then while feeding it you hit it, the dog will grow up believing that pain is love.

{{POW technique, traumatic bonding, sounds like…}}

This can be seen in women who grow up with a violent father and then seek a relationship with an abuser. They may not go consciously looking for that personality type, but they end up with it.

{{If I may inject the feminine perspective here — there is a grammar to this.  It takes two to tango, and men also know where to find submissive women, or women without strong family support who might counter future control & abuse.  The statement above doesn’t acknowledg it goes two ways.  …  Religious settings are great places to find submissive women taught not to protest violence against themselves..}}

My father was pulled over on a traffic stop with his wife. The officer took him in once his alias popped up on the NCIC. I was for the first time going to a public school in Smithville, Texas. Upon leaving for the day, I seen my sister crawling out the back of the bus and running away.

Unknown to me, my mother and grandfather were walking about the school after they were flown from California upon hearing we had been located. Of all the buses, mine managed to leave the school without being stopped.

 Within a few hours my dad was let go from the Bastrop County jail on a technicality. No court had ever held up the recent law, forcing out of state agencies to enforce kidnapping of one’s child as a felony/crime.

{{Reframing this crime as a non-crime happens, I say, through the family courts.  I would almost rather not know this law existed, than know it exists to protect, but isn’t enforced, or even taken seriously, too often…}}

After dad got out of jail he then attempted to remove us to Australia (a plan he attempted a year earlier). A sting was setup to have him come into court and believe he could win full custody once there. After coming into court, he was taken down to the floor and arrested by law enforcement.

At the same time we we were taken out the back and then flown from Austin, Texas to California. My father was later extradited to California where he pleaded guilty to Child Stealing. This became the first time in United States History an interstate felony/recovery was successfully prosecuted. Oddly enough, only 70 miles away, Glen Schulz was arrested for kidnapping his children from out of state but was let go and later granted full custody. My father’s arrest and conviction set a new precedence [precedent] in the apprehension of child stealing.

Three, as for abuse. I often had to endure hours of my father screaming and calling my mother everything from a witch to a lesbian on a daily basis. I began to sleep walk, have severe night terrors, developed turrets syndrome and tics that effect me to this day (although I mask them very well). I also have never been able to trust.

My sister was raped by a stranger and although we disagree that she was taken to the hospital, she has had to deal with that her whole life.

{{While you were in the abduction status, it sounds like??}}

( I say disagree because she believes she was taken to the hospital that night, I know she was taken earlier in the month over another issue requiring stitches. As any law enforcement officer, medical professional or mental health professional knows, when you bring in a 14 year old girl to the ER who claims she has been raped, the police do a background on them and the parent who brings them in to the hospital, of which I verified with the local agency that we lived under in Texas.

Had a there been a police check, the false ID that later got him arrested would have popped up on her or him after the rape.)

When I was found I was covered in chiggers (body parasite) and scabies. Just months before we were recovered, we were living in Burcher State Park, Texas and then in a house where we had an out house and when the water did run, it was reddish in color because of the rust. We also had to boil the bath water on the stove so that all of us could use the water to bathe. Again, everyone used the same bath water. I also had to get saved, learn to speak in tongues and when ever I was bad, I was reminded that I could grow up and become the anti-christ.

{{Indicating that the abducting father was religious, or his new wife.   And that IS emotional abuse of a child.  Not to mention ignorance about that concept, “anti-christ.”  Severe emotional cruetly.  Good grief!!}}

Four, yes psychology is a new science but there are basic truths that are universal. Although I attend to school (working on a degree that can be used in parental child abduction), I have been certified in Colorado, New Mexico and federally to work with juveniles that have been incarcerated. I have seen the effects of abuse, neglect and abandonment and I see a lot of similarities with parental child abduction. As to the writer of the above. Yes, without a doubt ( and I have experienced BOTH), parental child abduction is worse! To put it another way, when a stranger abducts a child, the child always knows that mommy and daddy are waiting for them when they come home. granted, it may be and will be a long haul to heal, but the trust in their parents is intact.

So my question is, when a parent steals their child, tells them the other parent is dead, hates them, evil, abandoned them and so on, who does the child trust?

If mommy or daddy lied and kidnapped you, who do you trust? The entire structure of what trust and family is is forever broken.

As for seeing abuse, conflicts and hate, well upon return I found that my mother had been being assaulted by her new husband. See, professionals have found that many parents after their children have been taken tend to seek punishment for having their children ripped from them. My mother’s then husband hated that she was always sad and grief ridden over having her children stolen.

{{I’ve worked different ways to handle this, but it has affected who I can become involved with, or not.  I know I’m not ready for involvement til some of these issues are closed.  It’s too much of a burden for any new spouse…}}

Over the next two years I watched him beat her, knock her unconscious and steal her purse while driving down the alley way of our home pulling my mom and me, as my mom would not let go of the purse- which held our only money, he held out the window. Or the times he beat me down and mom had to jump on his back and break his black Ovation guitar over him to get him off me while I called the police. Finally on my 13th birthday I was forced to not go to school but get a job and pay rent to live in his home. My mother was finally beat unconscious in 1985 when her husband beat her so bad that he broke the toilet bowl with her face and left a blood trail on the hallway wall, all because I split his beer.

{{“because” — that’s not the real reason, but that supposed “excuse” is common.  NOTE:  1985 is before the VAWA (Violence Against Women Act) was passed, I suspect there were fewer options for her at the time, to get ou.}}

Yes, I have seen both and I can tell you that the effects from the abduction were like wakes & ripples that have effects to this very day. I never doubted my mom’s love or felt abused while with mom and her husband, and have talked to many other children who felt that they were able to overcome those abusive home environments. Now I am in no way down playing the abuse that went on upon return. in fact, I believe that both are relevant and need to be addressed. However, the abduction was worse. I started researching and building up all my documentation for book II, Wakes &Ripples, which covers this subject from the age of 11 to 17. I have had to pull together many interviews, police and school records. I have had to verify addresses and places of employment.

This research is still underway as I have tried to avoid the pop culture idea of sensationalizing my story but trying to keep it pure and accurate as possible. I believe that by providing a case study, we can find ways to prevent, educate and inform others on how to stop this terrible crime. I can not tell you if life would have been different had I not been kidnapped.

What I can tell you is that once you throw that rock in to the waters of childhood there is no going back, we must live with the change in the water’s course and the ripples that follow.

To sum it up; kidnapping one’s child, and kidnapping is all it is, is the worst thing you can do to your child. If you are in a bad relationship there are outlets you can use to get help. Children are not our property in the sense of chattel. We have to think about what they need first and I have yet to have fond a parent who kidnapped their child who did not have some vindictive motive behind it.

This is why children are often used as weapons in court during a divorce. Domestic violence is horrific! The years I lived with it, I was always frightened but, they did not have the impact as the years abducted. It was not because of the domestic violence years that ended my relationship with all my family. It was the abduction years. The actions my father made that tore a part our family in ways that I cannot begin to explain in this comment box. I hope I have answered your questions.

Kindest Regards, Ken Connelly http://www.ken-connelly.com ken@ken-connelly.com


Speaking of Psychology, another topic, here’s a link to a long discussion of Trauma and the nature of evil.  My printout is 34 pages long, and I enclose it because it deals with vocabulary changes, over the centuries (and across some faiths/cultures) to talk about the same thing.  It dates to 1996, and is by Sandra Bloom, for an organizational conference.  The website Sanctuaryweb.com, I think it makes sense.

Written by Let's Get Honest

April 19, 2010 at 3:51 pm

“Here Come da Judge!”

with 14 comments


Some times, hard times, a little humor helps me.  I seem to notice things that maybe others don’t (oft-burnt, twice as observant?)…

This is from Womenslaw.org about Custody, and a good question, plus a sidelong plug for (what else) supervised visitation. . . .  And no absolute commitment either way on this topic:

Can a parent who committed violence get “custody” or “visitation”?

Maybe. It is possible that a parent who has committed violence will get custody or visitation if the court determines that it is in the “best interest of the child” to do so. Generally, judges beleve it is in the child’s best interest to have frequent contact with both parents.*1

{{so, the “court” kind of being the “judge” who signs the order, we get back to what judges generally believe…  For more of that, see the AFCC conference as to what’s being promoted among many of them…}}

Conservatorship / Custody:

If a person is filing for sole or joint managing conservatorship, the court will consider whether the person has been abusive toward his/her spouse, the parent of the child and any person under 18 years old within the 2 years before filing for conservatorship or during the proceeding. A judge may deny joint managing conservatorship if s/he finds that there is a history or pattern of child neglect or physical or sexual abuse of a parent, spouse or child.*2

{{then, again, they also may not.  Sounds like a toss-up to me…}}

The judge may not {{OR, may…}} appoint joint managing conservators if reliable evidence is presented of a history or pattern of past or present child neglect, or physical or sexual abuse by one parent directed against the other parent, a spouse, or a child. *3

Likewise, the court [[as opposed to “the judge?”] will consider {{but will it act on?}} any incident of family violence in deciding whether to deny, restrict, or limit the possession of a child by a parent who is appointed as a possessory conservator.*4

Possession and Access / Visitation:

If a parent has been violent within the last two years before filing or during the court proceedings, a judge may {{or may not, we have no committed policy here, right?}} deny that parent possession of or access to the child unless:

the judge decides that allowing the parent access is not a danger to the child and is in the best interest of the child; and
the judge approves a possession order that will protect the child and any other victim from the abusive parent. The order may require:

  • supervised access;  {{Here’s the Business Model…}}
    exchange of the child in a protective setting
    (see note below);
    that the parent not drink alcohol and not use any drugs within 12 hours before or during the time the child is with him/her; or  {{See my comments on Oconto, Wisconsin, where the father was caught DUI with the daughter in the car, but still it was the MOTHER who was jailed for failing to force the daughter back into that situation.}}
    that the parent attend a batterer’s prevention program or any program the judge finds appropriate. *5

Tell the judge if you have gotten a protective order within the last 2 years against the parent seeking possession of and access to your child. The judge will consider this when determining whether there is a history of family violence.*6

{{Note:  Some women get SMART after the first several violent incidents, and survive more than 2 years in a relationship before someone shows them how to get out.  In this case, asking what happened in the last 2 years may not indicate that the father/husband/partner has reformed or settled down, or repented, but simply that the mother/wife/partner simply got cagier and smarter in how to avoid them.  As many abusers also are control freaks, as toa ccess to transportation and ways to escape their abuse, this may involve shutting down emotionally, and teaching the kids to also, i.e., “walking on eggshells.”  how many judges take the time to tell the difference?}}

Note: If the abuser is granted possession and access to your child, ask the court or a local domestic violence program for information about visitation centers or visitation exchange facilities in your county if you think that is a good option for you.

GOT THIS?  The judge MAY respect the danger of domestic violence, or the judge MAY instead choose to drop-kick the problem to some cronies in the supervised visitation field.

{{Which of course they will prime you to.  . . .. . I asked for this, and was of course, not told that there is federal funding for this, but not available so readily for MOMS…  Not being incarcerated, an abuser, or behind on my child support (as the custodial mother), there was no outreach program to help me.  And as I wasn’t preventing access, that wasn’t an issue.  Thanks, dudes for rewarding me for compliance and good-faith allowing regular access to my growing (and healing) children by totally removing them from me, failing to enforce child support — at all, practically — and allowing him after custody switch to totally cut off contact, failing to report felony child-stealing (meaning, no Victims of Crime compensation), and no help after this event trashed my jobs.  Thanks.  Merry Christmas to all, and let’ em eat cake…}}

It is assumed by the court that it is not in the best interest of a child for a parent to have unsupervised visitation with the child if there is credible evidence of a history or pattern of past or present child neglect or physical or sexual abuse by that parent directed against the other parent, a spouse, or a child. *7

*1 Tex. Fam. Code § 153.131
*2 Tex. Fam. Code § 153.004(a)
*3 Tex. Fam. Code §153.004(b)
*4 Tex. Fam. Code § 153.004(c)
*5 Tex. Fam. Code § 153.004(d)
*6 Tex. Fam. Code § 153.004
*7 Tex. Fam. Code § 153.004(e)


(Since I’ve already dated, if not geographically marked (as to California) myself, I’ll go one step further and admit, this “well, it depends. . . .. ” approach to whether an abuser (or “a parent who has committed violence”) can get custody of a child approach reminded me (see highlit words, above) on the old comedy routine:

“Here Comes Da Judge!”


A little more judicial humor, even more dated (i.e., not my own…):


My last blog{{whoever this is...}}, on the rather bland exchanges between lawyers and justices of the U.S. Supreme Court, gave me a craving for red meat. So I pulled out my copy of Winston Churchill's marvelous little book, Great Contemporaries, and I turned to the essay on F.E. Smith, a lawyer who later became the first Earl of Birkenhead. Smith was famous for his stilletto wit, which once drew a pompous rebuke from a presiding judge: "Mr. Smith, have you ever heard a saying by Bacon -- the great Bacon -- that youth and discretion are ill-wedded companions?"  "Yes I have," came the instant repartee. "And have you ever heard a saying of Bacon -- the great Bacon -- that a much-talking judge is like an ill-tuned cymbal?"  Taken aback, the judge resorted to scolding, "You are extremely offensive, young man,"  "As a matter of fact," said Smith, "we both are; but I am trying to be, and you can't help it."  The judge, who apparently had never heard of citing a lawyer for contempt, came back for another drubbing: ""What do you suppose I am on the bench for, Mr. Smith?"  "It is not for me, your honor, to attempt to fathom the inscrutable workings of Providence."  That kind of exchange is something we we will never hear in oral arguments before the Supreme Court. Americans are much too dignified for any such thing. Posted on January 9, 2006 10:40 PM | Permalink 
If I want to quote a Supreme Court justice who was genuinely funny, I usually turn to Oliver Wendell Holmes (1841-1935).Among my favorite Holmes stories is the one concerning how he was supposed to lecture at a college, and discovered that he had arrived at an insane asylum by mistake. The justice was philosophical. “Oh well,” he said to the guard, “I don’t suppose that there is a great deal of difference.”  For once, the legal eagle was topped. “With great respect, Mr. Justice,” the guard replied, “there is. Before they let you out of this place, you have to show some improvement.” Posted on January 2, 2006 7:53 PM | Permalink

More, “HERE COME DA JUDGE” info:

Here comes the Judge!

Here comes the judge!

The court's in session!

The Funky Judge! Updated 8.28.02

That’s right. 1968 was the year of the funky craze (see last issue’s Soul With An African Twist). It may not have showed up on the Chinese astrological calendar, but ’68 was definitely the year of the Judge.          Dewey ‘Pigmeat’ Markham  trod the boards of the ‘Chitlin’ circuit for decades as well as appearing in many of the ‘sepia’ films aimed at forcibly segregated black audiences. In 1968 a routine of his about an angry, obstreperous judge broke into the mainstream of America’s pop consciousness.        Pigmeat, a big guy with a loud, extremely gravelly voice would enter with a chant of:       ‘Here come da judge, here come da judge! The court’s in session, the court’s in session!’ and then would launch into a hysterical tirade. In early 1968 Pigmeat and his rap found their way onto Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-in, and rapidly became a favorite, eventually becoming a regular on the show. It wasn’t long before ‘Judge’ records started to appear on the scene.        Ironically, the first hit (chronologically) was not by Markham but Motown mainstay Shorty Long. Long, who had hit before with the original versions of ‘Devil With the Blue Dress On’ and ‘Function at the Junction’, made it (in June of ’68) to #4 on the R&B charts and #8 on the pop charts with his very funky ‘Here Comes The Judge’. In Long’s record, the Judge is sentencing the defendant to various amounts of time for the boogaloo, the four corners and the Afro-twist. The judge on the record even sounds like Pigmeat.       Markham charted with his own version a few weeks later, on Chess (Chess2049). His tune ( a different song entirely) starts out with a long proto-rap speech, with exclamations from the gallery. The tune breaks into a deep, rough funk. In fact, despite the fact that he was an old fella, Pigmeat laid down the funkiest records in the entire ‘Judge’ genre (though it’s fair to mention that he had the mighty talents of the Chess house band backing him up).

I’m not really “playing around” so much as it might appear.  Did you do your homework last few posts, and look up the L.A. County Judges Slush fund (at least acc. to Marv Bryer et al.), how it started out of the county court house, not paying taxes for years (til basically forced to), morphed into CCC then somehow AFCC, and now we have these tremendous professionals, and social scientists figuring out our problems for us…..?



I cannot find the exact article where Dr. Reisman was talking about the importance of ETHICS in public servants, and referring to a certain (old) law that was being undermined.  She is a controversial figure for sure, but I responded to her personal story, which you might also, and how her own world got rocked when it was discovered a relative had been molested.     …. I’d also like to note:  articles are published onto “WND” (World Net Daily) which I do NOT espouse overall….



Dr. Judith Reisman is sought worldwide to speak, lecture, testify, and counsel individuals, organizations, professionals and governments in Media Forensics, the scientific analysis of images, pictures, cartoons, illustrations, pornography and text in sexual harassment of women and children in the workplace, schools, and homes. Her Media Forensic expertise has been successful in child custody cases, examining “pseudo-child” and “virtual-child” pornography, as well as in judicial and legislative decisions about a) fraudulent sex science, sex education and b) the way in which media images restructure human brain, mind, memory, and conduct by hijacking rationality. The special emphasis of her Media Forensic research has been and continues to be the scientific documentation of the difference between public and private space human erotic displays, and the subversion of informed consent via exposure to supranormal visual stimuli.

Dr. Reisman is a consultant and former president of The Institute for Media Education and is the scientific adviser for the California Protective Parents Association. She was Principal Investigator and author of the U.S. Department of Justice, Juvenile Justice study, Images of Children, Crime and Violence in Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler (1989), Kinsey, Sex and Fraud (Reisman, et al., 1990) and Soft Porn Plays Hardball (1991), Partner Solicitation Language as a Reflection of Male Sexual Orientation (w/Johnson, 1995), and Kinsey, Crimes & Consequences (1998, 2000) and is a news commentator for WorldNetDaily.com. She has been a consultant to four U.S. Department of Justice administrations, The U.S. Department of Education, as well as the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Dr. Reisman is listed in numerous Who’s Who biographies such as: Who’s Who in Science & Engineering, International Who’s Who in Sexology, International Who’s Who in Education, Who’s Who of American Women and The World’s Who’s Who of Women. Her scholarly findings have had international legislative and scientific import in the United States, Israel, South Africa, Canada and Australia, while The German Medical Tribune and the British medical journal, The Lancet demanded that the Kinsey Institute be investigated, saying:

The Kinsey reports (one in 1948 on males and the companion five years later) claimed that sexual activity began much earlier in life…. and displayed less horror of age differences and same-sex relationships than anyone at the time imagined. It was as if, to follow Mr. Porter again, “Anything goes”. In Kinsey, Sex and Fraud, Dr. Judith A. Reisman and her colleagues demolish the foundations of the two reports … Kinsey et al … questioned an unrepresentative proportion of prison inmates and sex offenders in a survey of “normal” sexual behavior. Presumably some at least of those offenders were also the sources of information on stimulation to orgasm in young children that can only have come from pedophiles–or so it must be hoped. Kinsey…. has left his former co-workers some explaining to do. The Lancet, (Vol. 337: March 2, 1991, p. 547).

Tim Tate, UNESCO and Amnesty International Award-winning Producer-Director of “Kinsey’s Paedophiles,” Yorkshire Television, Great Britain, 1998: “In the course of producing my documentary-Kinsey’s Paedophiles–it became clear that every substantive allegation Reisman made was not only true but thoroughly sourced with documentary evidence–despite the Kinsey Institute’s reluctance to open its files.”



By Judith A. Reisman, Ph.D.

I have been asked to introduce myself so that you know something of my life and how I came to discover Kinsey’s child molestation protocol, his false data, his molding of modern sex education and of western sexual culture and conduct, as well as how I came be involved in international governmental hearings on science fraud, child sexual abuse, pornography, drugs and the other critical issues of our time. I will try to touch on the points in my life which may be of most use to readers of this Kinsey expose.

I was born, Judith Ann Gelernter, in 1935 in Newark, New Jersey. Mine was a large and thriving second-generation Jewish-American family, Russian on my maternal side, German on my parental side. Both sets of grandparents had fled persecution in Europe, and upon landing at Ellis Island in New York, they thankfully embraced their adopted country, immediately took up menial labor, and raised large families of achievers.

My father Matthew was born in Massachusetts and my mother Ada in New Jersey. They eventually owned “Matthew’s Sea Food,” which they developed into a prosperous fish business in Irvington, New Jersey. The Gelernter’s held family meetings every few months at Aunt Laura’s large home in South Orange, New Jersey. More than forty adults and dozens of children sat down to dinners tastefully arranged and served, table manners always impeccable. After dinner, without the modern invention of television, political debates raged between my parents and the family. My parents were the radicals of the family. They believed the widely publicized propaganda of a perfect new world order under socialism or communism. None of our mainstream newspapers had ever revealed the multiple millions of Russians murdered by “Uncle Joe” Stalin. Still, all was mended when cousin Ruth sat down at the piano to accompany my father and three aunts, Laura, Shirley and Mary, as they sang old Yiddish and American folk songs in four-part harmony. I was mesmerized.

For me, they were musical giants, singing, swaying, smiling and beckoning. My dad, looked, I thought, movie-star handsome alongside my favorite Aunt Mary, a beautiful red-haired, green-eyed soprano who had rejected an offer from the Metropolitan Opera in order to marry and raise a family.

. . .

I lived at a wonderful time. My mother welcomed me home every day and my father supported anything I did. I was safe among neighbors, uncles or cousins due to the delightfully repressive influence of the time. I married, and the hedge of protection about my life was not breached until 1966 when my 10-year-old daughter was molested by a 13-year-old adored and trusted family friend. She told him to stop, but he persisted. He knew she would like it, he said, he knew from his father’s magazines, Playboy, the only “acceptable” pornography of the time. The boy left the country a few weeks later, after it came to light that my daughter was but one of several neighborhood children he had raped, including his own little brother. My heart was broken for all the families involved.

This appalling event in our lives, I would learn later, was a pattern with juvenile sex offenders, as they are known in law enforcement circles.

I might never have known anything about her violation, except that my daughter slipped into a deep depression. Only after I promised not to call the police would she talk about what happened. After assuring her this was not her fault, I called my dependable, staid aunt who listened sympathetically and declared, “Well Judy, she may have been looking for this herself. Children are sexual from birth.” Stunned, I replied that my child was not seeking sex, and called my Berkeley school chum, Carole, who counseled, “Well Judy, she may have been looking for this herself. You know children are sexual from birth.” I wondered at this same locution from two such different people so separated geographically. I recognized an ideological “party line.” I did not know it then, but as a young mother, I had entered the world according to Kinsey. I would hear and read that “children are sexual from birth” often again. But finaly I would uncover the hidden circumstances surrounding its source.Dr. Judith Reisman - 219 x 240


What will your judge believe?         Suppose it was your daughter?  As a mother — like the Berkeley (female) officer who finally noticed something was “off” regarding Phillip Garrido’s twoa ccomplices, will “da judge?” be receptive to your story, your kid’s story, or your partner’s story?  Will all of them be considered “stories” and then business farmed out to a mediator, because the story now, is, equal parenting, pretty much no matter what…..  And we MUST resolve our (irreconciliable?) differences in Conciliation, excuse me, Family Court, because it’s emotionally damaging to have irreconciliable differences with real damages.

I really believe the only way out is to find out who is paying these pipers.  My research, to date, shows that it’s NOT just the litigating parents, but the entire taxable workforce.  And the organization spouting all this stuff began by dodging taxes itself, allegedly.  Go figure!

(THESE few from NAFCJ.net, home page — links may or may not be current, but are searchable):

“Protective Mom Accused of Witchhunt”, 11/23/1999, By Cheryl Romo, LA Daily Journal — Karen Anderson, one of the retaliated protective mothers mentioned in the Insight story, has since obtained hard evidence (cancelled checks) that federal money from fatherhood programs was used without her knowledge to pay-off all court officials in her case. Anderson along with Connie Valentine are heading up NAFCJ’s reform action in California. 

A Financial Fiasco Is in the Making, By Kelly Patricia O’Meara, Insight Magazine, Los Angeles Superior Court Judges Association, 2002, still slushing funds
and not paying taxes…  

Insight Magazine “Is Justice for Sale in LA?”, By Kelly Patricia O’Meara – Marv Bryer fights against corruption in Los Angeles County Court – the original AFCC court  judges’ association, and promoters of Dr. Richard Gardner’s discredited pedophile theory, “PAS” Parental Alienation Syndrome.  

Insight Magazine “New Scandals in LA Courts”, By Kelly Patricia O’Meara — Continuation with more of Marv Bryer’s evidence details on an alleged slush fund for the L.A. Superior Court Judges Association (AFCC judges) and the possible extortion of civil litigants by some officers of the court.”  

Retaliation Against Professionals Who Report Child Abuse, By Katherine Hine, J.D., Exposé The Failure of Family Courts to Protect Children from Abuse in Custody Disputes, A Resource Book for Lawmakers, Judges, Attorneys and Mental Health Professionals.

I’m still looking at the googled “Marv Bryer” myself:  here’s a sample of printouts:

  • Videos: Interview with Marvin Bryer – Naples, Fl | Naples Daily News

    Marvin Bryer talks about getting to see Obama – Video taken in or around Naples, Florida.
    http://www.naplesnews.com/videos/detail/interview-marvinbryer/ – CachedSimilar
  • Have you Ever Heard of Marvin Bryer

    3 posts – 3 authors – Last post: Dec 28, 2008

    Have you Ever Heard of Marvin Bryer. It starts at about Minute 50 about Marvin Bryer. The below document indicates some of the stuff
    forum.prisonplanet.com › … › General DiscussionCachedSimilar

  • IRS Non-Profit Organization

    Dec 21, 1998 A letter has been sent by Marvin Bryer to the IRS alerting them of this scam; the attendant mis-use of government facilities;
  • Bryer Tort Claim of 9/10/98

    May 8, 1999 Enter Marvin Bryer, a retired computer analyst in La Crescenta, Calif. . . . . Bryer became ensnared with the family-court system after his

    You know what?  Maybe the love of money IS the root of all evil.  Not using it, not having it, but loving it more than, say, children.  Or oaths of office, etc.

    Exposing & Prosecuting

    Judicial Corruption thru

    Common Law Discovery

    by Marvin Bryer  [1997]


    DISCLAIMER:  Note, this seems to be a survivalist, gun-toting, all-American (you get the picture), I’d say for sure conservative site.  I am just curious to read the Marv Bryer article, and don’t know if this represents his philosophy either.  Sort through it, though.


    If you are going to the fruit stand in a store, are you going to sort and pick through apples for the good ones?  Or pick a pre-bagged, inspected, certified organic (etc.) one, whose packaging you trust?  Or, alternately, skip apples for today.

    They say one bad apple spoils the whole bunch.  When you get divorced and can’t figure it out OUTside court, you must go INSIDE, and in this case, you can’t forum-shop or judge shop.  Remember, if there is conflict within a family, the parents just lost jurisdiction, acc. to that old law (see last few posts).  Your kids and your life are no longer your own.

    Therefore it’s IMPERATIVE that ALL financial incentives to defraud the public be removed for ALL judges.  This ain’t going to be a walk in the park, and I wish that the Moms and Dads both (the honest ones) would quit yakking about social science studies and do their math homework.

    Hope you appreciate this sacrifice of my own internet time just made to day.  Have a nice day… and Let’s Get HONEST!  And make sure our public officials do also!



    The SF-Oakland Bay Bridge and Family Court systems.

    leave a comment »

    I’m often searching for a comparison to communicate the scope & severity  of the family court matters, as opposed to the lack of urgencyThe Bay Bridge remains closed to cars as repairs continue... Noah Berger / Special to The Chronicle to address it.  Seem to have found one. . . . .

    Talk about a Halloween nightmare — – a high-profile engineering failure, and urgent, though disruptive, efforts to fix — although:  No Serious Injuries Caused.  Obviously the potential for multiple serious injuries was there…



    Rachel Gordon, Chronicle Staff Writer

    Saturday, October 31, 2009

    (The next 2 paragraphs below appeared in article after the 3rd & 4th– see link for original order).

    The bridge has been closed since Tuesday evening when a 5,000-pound steel beam and two steel tie-rods that were holding together a cracked structural support failed and rained down on the upper deck, damaging three vehicles but causing no serious injuries.

    Engineers failed to take into account how vibrations from wind and 280,000 cars a day would affect a patch fix to the bridge’s cantilever section made over the Labor Day weekend.

    Crews on the Bay Bridge struggled Friday to craft a fix that would prevent vibrations from wind and traffic from causing pieces of a structural repair to come crashing down.

    . . .Crews on the Bay Bridge struggled Friday to craft a fix that would prevent vibrations from wind and traffic from causing pieces of a structural repair to come crashing down.

    CONTRAST this urgency with the “business as usual” treatment of another system so engineered that serious injuried, and too often literal deaths, occur.   Because these are more widespread, perhaps they still don’t warrant serious attention.  Read on:\

    States must reform a system

    that too often rewards custody to the abusive parent.**

    by Kathleen Russell, San Rafael, California, published 10-14-09 in the Christian Science Monitor.

    [story of one individual highlights the issue]…I’m numbering sentences for comments below.  I also just alternate colors for easier reading.   CSM policy discourages reposting whole article, reading it all is a summary of –part of — the problems with family law.  system.

    In a system with so much at stake — for the litigants, and their children — for those associated with the litigants and their children in work, school, play, at home, or as relatives — and with the short, short time span in which impressionable youngsters grow up — can even ONE false assumption be made in the process of fixing it? 

    In the Bay Bridge — a HUGE project — they forgot about the wind vibrations plus the vibrations from the traffic load would affect a “patch fix.”  Seems to me that vibrations when it comes to a bridge is basic engineering vocabulary. 

    The FIRST sentence of this article reads:

    When a parent harms his or her own child, family courts are supposed to step in and safeguard the victim.”

    Ohh??  I thought that stepping in was the province of Child Protective Services and law enforcement, since harming a child (as also a spouse, or other human being) IS a criminal act.  The concept that the family law venue is set up to handle criminal actions is a misconception.  To clarify, see www.justicewomen.org or anywhere that talks about the difference between civil and criminal venues, and family court vs. criminal prosecutions of domestic violence. 

    Harming a child is domestic violence, and little to no training in this is required even to become a certified family law practitioner.  I believe I still have a link off to the side.

    Association of Family & Conciliation Courts (AFCC) — see my blog — states clearly in their history page that one of their key founders was OPPOSED to the use of the “old” criminal language, and preferred newer, better terms to describe things like — child molestation or domestic violence, or things that show up as criminal acts.  I blogged on it — search here, you’ll see.

    However, the CPS, the law enforcement and the family law venue most certainly DO bounce back and forth off each other, at least in this area, and listen to each other in crucial decisions, I found out (alas). 

    This is a repeated refrain in the family law venue, so much so as to be characteristic.  It is just about a DEFINING quality of these courts — and no, they do NOT exist to protect children.  I believe that family law is where batterers go to hide, and was designed in part to receive them and allow them continued access.  That this also just happens to be big business, and a perpetual motion (as in, legal motions) machine, is unlikely to be an afterthough, methinks…

     None of the authorities she approached would effectively intervene to protect her daughter [1]. So in 2000, Ms. Rogers eventually felt that she had no choice but to flee with her child to protect her [2].

    More than three years later, this protective mother was caught and jailed for five months, while her daughter was immediately handed over to her alleged abusers [3]. Rogers faced criminal charges for violating a court order by fleeing with her child [4]. After considering the evidence in her case, a jury of her peers completely exonerated her of all wrongdoing [5].

    The very same evidence that exonerated her in the criminal court had been called “frivolous” by the family court judge and disregarded [6]. Despite her acquittal, Rogers was never granted custody of her daughter, who lives with her alleged abusers to this day [7]. She is now forced to pay a fee to visit with her daughter a few times a month in a supervised visitation facility [8].


     [1], [2] — women are trained to generally go the authorized route first.  This mother did.  When it failed, her motherhood instincts kicked in (see how THOSE can help in reading about which cops — male, or female — caught, and which overlooked (male or female) Phil Garrido and the two kids he’d fathered by (kidnapped * 18-years imprisoned) Jaycee Dugard this past year.  Again, I blogged this.  A policewoman noticed something amiss in two kids; her alertness started the process saving them and their mother.

     [3] Protective mother caught and jailed. . . .   Why don’t readers just google that phrase and see what comes up.  See also Stopfamilyviolence.org.  Women have fled to other countries — sometimes getting asylum! — to protect their children from assault & battery or molestation.  The brave U.S. is not negligent to try and go fetch them back.  Google, if it’s still on-line, Sheila Riggs.  Or another, Joyce Murphy.  Or Holly Collins. 


    [4].  Some states have an actual EXEMPTION for protective parents fleeing when it comes to felony child-stealing.  The catch is, it’s enforced in reverse!  This woman, being a Californian, should’ve been protected by California Penal Code 278, but obviously wasn’t.  Who didn’t protect her — law enforcement?  A judge? 

    [5]  It seems (on a fast read] that this mother THEN got into a criminal charge, and as such, actually got in front of a jury.  Because she might be jailed, this was proper.  Unlike the family law, where mandatory mediation, and hearsay rules the day, an actual jury “considered the evidence in her case.”  That’s why the exonerated her.  It appears she was innocent and shouldn’t have been jailed.  NEVERTHELESS, she still DID spend 5 months in jail.  How do you think THAT affected her relationship with her daughter?

    If being jailed wasn’t bad enough for an innocent mother, while she was in jail, I’m sure that knowing her daughter was now in the total custody — without her intervention, or ability to help mitigate this any more — of the alleged abusers — was worse punishment.  While California jails are overcrowded, hear tell women’s are less so.  They can be TOUGH.

    [6].  Statement “6” above, as is, might as well be the motto of the family law venue.  If you understand this, you understand enough.  Due process doesn’t count.  Being innocent — or guilty — matters not. 


    [7] I have a question:  WHY didn’t custody automatically go back to her?  If she fled to protect, and the evidence said there was something to protect AGAINST (if she was exonerated, it must have, right?) then WHY is that child still living with the abuser?  Because the illegal and wrongfully punishing process of a protective mother destroyed her ability to have a child?  Or because the family courts simply couldn’t be bothered to acknowledge a ruling coming from outside its own venue?

    [8]  Supervised Visitation fees.   I TOLD you this was a business model.  Someday, perhaps more people will start actually believing this. 


    Protective parents not only lose custody of the children they are trying to protect, but they lose their life savings, too. Many cannot even afford a lawyer to represent their interests, but are saddled with hefty supervised visitation fees and often threatened with a loss of custody if they object to paying the bevy of court-appointed experts that the judge assigns to their case.

    Hmm. . . . threatening to take your kid, and have him/her [further] hurt, seriously, if you can’t pay the court-appointed experts.  And this is NOT extortion, and NOT the Mafia??  No, they are all in here to help poor people settle their squabbles, and to protect –NOT traffick in — children.

    Fees quickly add up to tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars. Many such parents go bankrupt, making court appeals impossible. The family law “machine” operates as Big Business, and a sophisticated cottage industry has sprung up that appears to be preying on desperate parents and children who are trying to escape family violence.

    The author recommends, and then talks about a “major overhaul” of the family law system.  Sister, I don’t think this is about to happen, the problems are foundational, and built  into it.  It is designed to extract cash from parents, (one side will generally be rich enough, or if not, government grants will do instead, for court-appointed attorneys, mediators, and so forth, let alone the dang judges!) and hand it over to those in “the court.”  (Think royalty).  If you’re in, you’re in, if you’re out, you’re out. 

    Thus weakened, one parent will certainly have to fork over a child. a few drops more will of course be extracted, if some are left, because what protective parent does NOT want to see a child, even if under strained and artificial conditions — a lesson also for the next generation — and wouldn’t scrape together the funds to do so?  Notice — supervised visitation SUPPOSEDLY exists to protect a child from a violent parent, or one incapable of self-restraint enough to be UNsupervised.  It is typically used to punish a parent after a switch, rather than for its intended purpose.  At least, so I am coming to believe. 

    Bay Bridge with thousands of daily commuters, commuters at risk (not yet dead), the fix is made.  Why?  Probably someone remembers the Loma Prieta earthquake, which DID cause deaths when this bridge collapsed.  Probably because it affects BUSINESS more than families.  I don’t know — you tell me!

    Family Law Venue, with probably by now thousands of genuine casualties, including abductions, family wipeouts, jailed Moms, or Dads, and fractured relationships, lost work time (for the litigants — not the court folk) and a drain on the social services of the United States of America — and, resistance to changing BUSINESS as usual is high. 

    This is a quick post, and I hope within the framework of CSM quotation guidelines.  Have a nice day!

    **A Note to Bloggers

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    Analyze This: Wichita Woes — What happened after 911? (1st time, 2nd time).

    with 2 comments

    I rest my case on “certifiably insane protection orders”. . . . 


    This article is a quiz (answers below).  Do this:

    A.  Put events in order.  

    B.  What piece of the puzzle doesn’t “fit” and which pieces are missing?

    C.  Keeping this within Kansas, bring this case history  to Senator Oletha Faust-Goudeau, recently found sponsoring (yet another) Fatherhood act of some sort in Kansas and ask for commentary.  Request permission to record, and share on youtube with the rest of us, why a man like this needed to be within cutting/shooting range of his 21 month old daughter.  (Because if he didn’t get this, someone was going to pay, bad?).  And how the (decade-plus) of prior fatherhood initiatives may or may not have contributed to this young man’s sense that after punching XXX officers and threatening to slit the throat of his wife, for calling for help, society still owed him something…

    D.  Rewrite the headline, more appropriately reflecting the crucial issues in the case.

    And then Alternately

    E-1.  Pray to the tooth fairy that this isn’t you or anyone you know and/or recite after me:

    E-2.  “it spiraled out of control.  We had no idea.  It spiraled out of control.  The real social crisis of our time is fatherlessness, not lawlessness.  It wasn’t his fault.  It wasn’t her fault.  It wasn’t anyone’s fault.  Nevertheless, the Feds + faith-based + local agencies will fix this situation.  We WILL eradicate violence against women and murder by men if we JUST try harder, train more professionals, and dump some dollars in that direction.  We WILL, right??”

    The children are our future.  Now, Where’s that Valium?


    Suspect in deputy’s shooting had violent past

    . . . (and they married WHY???)

    Comments (0) 


    The Wichita Eagle

    The 27-year-old man accused this week of ambushing a Sedgwick County sheriff’s deputy had a history of violence against his ex-wife — and against officers.

    {{For why the word “had” is used, see 2nd article, below}}


    In 2005, Richard Lyons’ ex-wife, Jenifer, accused him of holding a hunting knife to her throat and threatening to kill her after she called 911, an affidavit filed in Sedgwick County District Court said.

    Lyons pleaded guilty to aggravated assault and served several months in the county jail followed by about 16 months in a state prison.

    He was released on parole on March 2, 2007. His sentence and parole supervision ended on April 11, 2008, records show.

    In March 2005, four Wichita police officers responded to a report of a disturbance with a knife at his ex-wife’s home in the 900 block of South Waverly, in southeast Wichita.

    Lyons had arrived and “demanded she give him their infant daughter,” the affidavit said.

    She reported that they argued and that after she called 911, Lyons held a 4- to 6-inch knife blade to her throat and threatened her. The knife reportedly came from a sheath attached to his pants.

    “Jenifer said she hung up the phone because she was in fear for her life and believed Richard would carry out his threat,” said the document, used to bring the felony aggravated assault charge against Lyons.

    On the 911 call, a male voice could be heard saying, “I will cut you,” the affidavit said.

    When he went to get a diaper bag in another part of the house, his ex-wife grabbed her two children and fled, the affidavit said.

    At the home, officers found signs of a disturbance, and when they tried to arrest Lyons, he punched two officers, the document said.

    Although prosecutors also initially charged him with two counts of misdemeanor battery against an officer, those two charges were dismissed after he agreed to plead guilty to the more serious charge of aggravated assault, records show.

    His ex-wife obtained a protection-from-abuse order against Lyons.

    In April 2005, about a month after the incident involving his ex-wife, court records show Lyons was living at the house where he is accused of shooting Deputy Brian Etheridge this week — first with a rifle and then with the deputy’s own gun.

    Etheridge was responding to a 911 call from the South Rock Road residence, reporting a theft — a report authorities now think was concocted.

    In Lyons’ 2005 divorce case, court records say he was working for Colortime in El Dorado at the time. The court at one point required him to pay $234 a month in child support.

    At another point in 2005, Lyons temporarily lost visitation with his 1 1/2-year-old daughter because of the incident involving his ex-wife.

    On Tuesday, a man who said he was Lyons’ father declined to comment.

    Lyons’ ex-wife could not be reached.

    In September 2003, about two years before the knife incident, Lyons was convicted of misdemeanor battery against an officer.

    In the years before that, he had been convicted of felony criminal threat and misdemeanor domestic battery and criminal damage to property, records show.

    As a juvenile, he had misdemeanor convictions dating to 1995, when he was 12, for criminal damage to property.

    Wichita school district records show that Lyons withdrew from Metro Boulevard Alternative High School in July 2002.

    Contributing: Hurst Laviana of The Eagle Reach Tim Potter at 316-268-6684 or tpotter@wichitaeagle.com.

    QUIZ ANSWERS (mine) BELOW:  (I interspersed A & B as dialogue)

    Events, apparent order (quite different from article, which jumps around considerably)

    • 1995 Juvenile Richard Lyons, age 12, has misdemeanor convictions for criminal damage to property, ergo he was born about 1983.
    • July 2002, Lyons withdraws from alternative high school (age, about 19)
    • Between age of majority (2001?) and 2003, he has convictions for felony criminal threat AND misdemeanor domestic battery, meaning, probably against a WIFE or GIRLFRIEND.  This is called “domestic violence,” folks.  SEE 1994 VAWA Act.
    • ??? somewhere in there he gets married to Jenifer Lyons.
    • Sept. 2003, misdemeanor Battery against an officer.
    • Somewhere in 2003  Jenifer gives birth to his child.  (Note:  Physical assaults sometimes begin with pregnancy.  Mine did).
    • Somewhere between then and 2005, they get divorced.  (Given the assaults, probably understandable.  What’s not quite understandable is why they got married, unless the pregnancy PLUS her lack of other options to survive (i.e., HER family of origin support), PLUS no doubt some of this federal pushing of marriage on everyone…??  Who knows.  Maybe they wanted to.  Maybe HER household (how old was she?) was a place she needed to get out of.
    • By 2005, he has a child support order in place and is actually, it appears working.  Apparently they’ve entered the family court system somehow, I’d guess.  The man is all of 22 years old, so this is a good thing and possibly a change for him?
    • OBVIOUSLY they had “visitation” (unsupervised, obviously).  Note:  He assaults women AND officers, felony-style, and threatenes (someone — seee above).  He destroys property and punches policemen.  NEVERTHELESS, an infant needs her Daddy.  Daddies can be nurturers too.  If we try hard enough, perhaps all of us (through funds, and social support and of course parenting classes) can transform this young man into a real nurturer before he kills someone for telling he can’t combine nurturing infants with wife assault.

    Now in March 2005, things start getting, well, interesting:

    • In 2005, Richard Lyons’ ex-wife, Jenifer, accused him of holding a hunting knife to her throat and threatening to kill her after she called 911, an affidavit filed in Sedgwick County District Court said
    • HEre’s the account, I rearranged some sentences.  Apparently by now there are 2 children (both his?  Maybe not?) 
    1. Lyons had arrived (EXCHANGE OF THE KIDS  RIGHT?  Here’s a CLASSIC CASE involving DV, and no help with the exchange.  Yes, I’d imagine this was in family law system already, totally oblivious (per se!) to the potential danger of the situation, despite lethality assessments and DV literature dating back to at least 1985 (Barbara J. HART), 1989 (Family Visitation Centers started in Duluth Minnesota), 1994 (Violence Against Women Act) and all kinds of other literature.  THis hadn’t reaached the “heartland” yet, I guess. )  and “demanded she give him their infant daughter,” the affidavit said.  ((OMISSION – was there a custody/visitation in order or not?  if so, was it clear and specific, as many states require (but don’t practice) cases involving DV be, to avoid incidents like this?  If it WAS clear and specific, was his demand in compliance with or NOT in compliance with that order?  As they say, and we see, this isn’t typically a guy that plays by the rules, not even the rules for graduating from high school, or refraining from damaing others’ propery.  We’ll, he’s about graduate from punching officers to putting a knife to his wife’s throat.  I wonder if this was the first time….)
    2. She reported that they argued {{POSSIBLY OVER WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS HIS TIME TO SEE HIS DAUGHTER?}} and that after she called 911, {{POSSIBLY THE ARGUMENT CONTAINED SOME THREAT OR PHYSICAL ELEMENTS?}} Lyons held a 4- to 6-inch knife blade to her throat and threatened her. The knife reportedly came from a sheath attached to his pants.  {{May I speculate that perhaps Mrs. Lyons was aware that Mr. Lyons sometimes carried knives, and this may have contributed to her decision to call 911, even if the argument was only “verbal” in nature?}} 
    3. On the 911 call, a male voice could be heard saying, “I will cut you,” the affidavit said.  (I’m going to assume this is “evidence” and it was his, not a responding officer’s.  I will further assume that this was a criminal prosecution, because someone actually got ahold of that 911 call.  GIVEN the history, was this a creditable threat?  It appears to the reader that her report was accurate in this part.  Contrary to the “false allegations” stigma associated with women reporting violence (or threats of it), ” because they want to get custody,” this report seems to have some merit.
    1. “Jenifer said she hung up the phone because she was in fear for her life and believed Richard would carry out his threat,” said the document, used to bring the felony aggravated assault charge against Lyons.  {AS FURTHER DEVELOPMENTS SHOW, YES HE WAS CAPABLE OF AND WILLING TO COMMIT MURDER WHEN HE FELT WRONGED OR WAS ANGRY OR ??  SO HERE, SHE DROPS THE “911” METHOD OF SELF PRESERVATION AND, if I may add, protecting her children, WITH HER KIDS OPTS FOR THE “FLEE” METHOD.   Amazingly, a charge was actually filed.  For why, possibly, read on.
    2. When he went to get a diaper bag in another part of the house, his ex-wife grabbed her two children and fled, the affidavit said.  {{I have done this flee while he’s in the other part of the house routine, often enough}}
    3. HERE COME THE RESPONDING OFFICERS:  In March 2005, four Wichita police officers responded to a report of a disturbance with a knife at his ex-wife’s home in the 900 block of South Waverly, in southeast Wichita.   {{Officers KNOW domestic violence wih a weapon can be lethal.  They didn’t send one custody evaluator, one parenting educator, one mediator, and one guardian ad litem, they sent FOUR officers, and I BET they were armed…  Yet women are left to face this, sometimes weekly, without adequate protection.}}
    4. At the home, officers found signs of a disturbance, and when they tried to arrest Lyons, he punched two officers, the document said.

    Not one but 2 officers.  Tell them to thank Wade Horn, George Bush (Jr.), former President Clinton, present President Obama, (well, adjust for the year), and others for those punches to the face.  Father-engagement.  Healthy Families. . .. You’re in it. . . . . . .   Were these male and female officers, I wonder, and which ones got punched.  But in an incident, it could easily be any of them.

    Moving on in our sequencing:

    5.  Prosecutors initially charged him with two counts of misdemeanor battery against an officer.

    6.  he agreed to plead guilty to the more serious charge of aggravated assault.  (good move, as they saw evidence, and he was already heard on tape threatening to cut her.)

    7.  The lesser charges (above) were dismissed.  Is this called a “plea-bargain?

    8.  His ex-wife obtained a protection-from-abuse order against Lyons.   (((WHEN?? see last post on police reporting of incidents).  Now?  Or had she earlier?  Criminal, or civil?)


    NOW — figure out this timeline if you can:

    9.  Lyons pleaded guilty to aggravated assault (See 6, above.  WHEN?  WHAT MONTH 2005?) and

    10. served several months in the county jail followed by about 16 months in a state prison.

    March 2007 is 24 months from March 2005 (date of assault).  Ergo “about 16 months” plus “several months” possibly does NOT add up to 24.  How many people do this kind of mental math when reading leading bleeding headlines?  

    March 2005 (arguing, resulting in 911 call, threatening to slit wife’s throat in retaliation for calling 911, with 2 kids, one of them a toddler girl, in the home, Mom + 2 flee for safety, 4 police come, 2 of whom are punched) – March 2007 is most definitely 24.

    The question is, what is “several” months?  Is it 8, or 9 (8 + 16 = 24, right?)   WHEN did he plea-bargain?  After punching officers and threatening to kill wife was he then RELEASED in this foul mood?  If he threatened to slit her throat and assaulted people who tried to help in March 2005, what kind of response might we expect after being sentenced, if he was released on bail?

    11. He was released on parole on March 2, 2007.

    12. His sentence and parole supervision ended on April 11, 2008, records show.


    What this section of reporting does is to reassure that his crime (of — see above) was indeed punished properly.  Or was it?

    13.  In April 2005, about a month after the incident involving his ex-wife, court records show Lyons was living at the house where he is accused of shooting Deputy Brian Etheridge this week — first with a rifle and then with the deputy’s own gun.

    Omittting the obvious — after arrest (i’m going to hazard a guess that the 2 punched officers or their colleagues eventually handcufffed the guy) he was free on bail or own recognizance until arraignment and incarceration

    YES, you read it right, finally.  Threaten to slit her throat, punch TWO responding officers, and get out scot free, for a few months.  This is an interesting sentence (I don’t operate under press deadlines, but still . . . . .  the sentence bridges four years of time:  2005 & 2009!)  Well, not quite scot free.  He was punished with not seeing his daughter, “temporarily.”  Wonder what time frame THAT word spans.

    14.  At another point in 2005, {{Can we get a hint which month?}} Lyons temporarily lost visitation with his 1 1/2-year-old daughter because of the incident involving his ex-wife.

    When I filed for a DV restraining order with kickout, and we had the guns, knives and assaults thing, but not on officers — we got ALMOST 7 days with no visitation, as I recall.  Perhaps at the most 14, as he had to find a place to live.


    Now here is about the slain officer:

    1. Sheriff: Deputy was ambushed
    2. Suspect in deputy’s shooting had violent past
    3. Marriage came as a surprise to Johansson
    4. Deputy was quiet, funny, passionate about his work
    5. Opinion Line (Sept. 30)
    6. Robbers strike as police look for killer
    7. Deputy’s funeral set for Friday
    8. Sedgwick County Commission remembers slain deputy
    9. Opinion Line Extra (Sept. 30)
    10. Wichita man arrested on suspicion of animal cruelty


    Sheriff was Ambushed

    A black band around the badge of Sheriff Bob Hinshaw. The badges are in honor of deputy Brian Etheridge, who was shot and killed in the line of duty on Monday.

    WICHITA – Richard Lyons set the trap shortly before noon on Monday by calling 911 to report a theft at his house.

    He then hid in the shadows of a tree and brush in the backyard of a house in the 3600 block of South Rock Road with a high-powered rifle, authorities said Tuesday. He waited for a law enforcement officer to show up.

    That happened to be Sedgwick County sheriff’s Deputy Brian Etheridge.

    “It does appear to have been an ambush situation,” Sheriff Bob Hinshaw said Tuesday of the shooting death of Etheridge, 26, the first Sedgwick County deputy to die in the line of duty in 12 years.

    Lyons, 27, was shot to death a few hours later in a field not far from the house in an exchange of gunfire with law enforcement officers.

    “It’s scary,” Hinshaw said. “It could have been any law enforcement officer… this was just a call to 911 to get any officer to respond.”

    Investigators spent Monday night and Tuesday collecting shell casings and other evidence, Hinshaw said, piecing together a chain of events from what was left behind.

    Based on that evidence, Hinshaw offered this account:

    Lyons called 911 at 11:42 a.m. Etheridge was dispatched to the address just east of McConnell Air Force Base and radioed his arrival at 11:51 a.m.

    When no one answered his knock on the front door, he asked dispatchers for contact information for the caller. He then walked around to the backyard of the house and saw no one.

    Lyons was hiding in the shadows on the bright, sunny day, and opened fire with a .30-30 rifle — a weapon commonly used by deer hunters — when Etheridge turned his back as he was either approaching the back door or returning to the front of the house, Hinshaw said.

    The bullet hit Etheridge in the back, penetrating his body armor and knocking him down. Lyons approached the fallen deputy and tried to fire his rifle again, but it malfunctioned.

    He took Etheridge’s gun and shot him in the leg before disappearing.

    Etheridge radioed for help, and scores of law enforcement officers from throughout the metropolitan area converged on the scene.

    The wounded deputy was alert and communicating with the first officers on the scene, Hinshaw said, but their priority at that time was his medical care — not gathering information about the suspect.

    Escorted by patrol cars, an ambulance raced Etheridge to Wesley Medical Center, where he underwent surgery.

    Authorities established a one-mile perimeter around the house and urged residents inside that area to leave if possible.

    Wichita Police Chief Norman Williams said authorities had information indicating Lyons was likely inside the house, so that address remained the focus of their attention even as law enforcement officers combed outlying areas within the perimeter.

    Tear gas was deployed twice into the house in attempt to flush the suspect out, Williams said, and SWAT team members were preparing to blast open the front door at about 5:15 p.m. when authorities were notified that the suspect had been spotted hiding near a tree row in a nearby field.

    Agents from the Kansas Highway Patrol and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives were patrolling a field in a Humvee when one of the officers spotted Lyons’ leg as he lay on the ground.

    They stopped the Humvee, and Lyons stood up and fired at the vehicle with the deputy’s handgun. He then began running, firing several more shots as the ATF agents and KHP officers ran after him.

    The law enforcement officers returned fire, striking Lyons “multiple times,” Hinshaw said.

    Lyons was taken to Wesley Medical Center, where he was pronounced dead at 6:10 p.m.

    Investigators hope to talk to neighbors and relatives of Lyons, Hinshaw said, but he doesn’t expect every question raised by the shooting to be answered.

    “We may never know what the motive is,” he said.

    Results of the investigation, including the use of force, will be presented to the District Attorney’s Office for review.

    Flags at Wichita City Hall and other city buildings have been lowered to half staff in honor of Etheridge. They will remain at half staff through Friday, the day of Etheridge’s funeral.

    “We’re just really shocked and saddened by what has happened,” Mayor Carl Brewer said. “It has affected all of our law enforcement agencies.”

    Brewer said the city is providing counselors for police officers who were involved in the shoot-out and others who may be shaken by the violence.

    “Every time they make a stop or enter a house, they don’t know what’s going to happen,” he said. “This demonstrated just how much risk there is.”

    Reach Stan Finger at 316-268-6437 or sfinger@wichitaeagle.com.


    FIRST 911 — from a woman — consequence, she’s threatened and has to flee for her life, BUT her ex-husband IS jailed — for about 2 years, or less.

    SECOND 911 — from the formerly jailed young man (27 yrs old is young) — his ambush.  SOMEONE was going to pay.  Was Etheridge (the officer killed) a responding officer in the former arrest, or just anyone in uniform would do?  Was he upset at what had happened in prison?

    Was this suicide by cop?  Sounds like possibly, to me.







    I do have one comment, here:  Something sounds narcissistic in the mix.  This person was supposedly a hell-raiser from an early age, but didn’t get help.  Possib ly being a father was a shot at sanity, but I think that the child support order was probably NOT a good idea for such a person.  It would’ve been better for all to let her do welfare.  She’d probably get off it quicker without the threats to her life than with them.



    http://www.ksag.org/page/domestic-violence  (Attorney General Site):

    Domestic Violence

    The new Domestic Violence Unit within the Kansas Attorney General’s Office seeks to keep our families safe, stop domestic abuse and end the cycle of violence that threatens our communities.

    Online Resources:

    (Be sure to catch this “get inside their head” speculation (many didn’t apply to my case, i know):  date:

    Source: The Battered Woman by Lenore Walker, Harper & Roe, 1979.  (I’m comforted to know that the Attorney General has the latest psychological profile of batterers and their victims — only 30 years old…..) 

    • Believes all the myths about battering relationships  {{NO one questioned me, and I hadn’t heard these…}}
    • A traditionalist about the home, strongly believes in family unity and the prescribed sex role stereotype  {{The alternative being, punishment….}}  {{BY THE WAY, this now describes the Health and Human Services Dept., in general, on this matter….}}
    • Accepts responsibility for the batterer’s actions  {{SAYS WHO?}}

    Resources for Law Enforcement


    Child Exchange and Visitation Center Program – (CEVC)

    This program provides supervised child exchange or supervised child visitation to children and families at risk because of circumstances relating to neglect; substance abuse; emotional, physical, or sexual abuse; domestic or family violence; etc. The state portion of funding can be used to fund the local match required for receipt of federal child exchange and visitation center grants.

    Mighta been helpful for Jenifer Lyons . . . . . 

    The Essential Elements and Standards of 

    Batterer Intervention Programs in Kansas  

    The Essential Elements and Standards of Batterer Intervention Programs were developed over 

    seven years through the hard work of many professionals who are dedicated to ending 

    domestic violence in Kansas.   The Kansas Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence 

    convened the initial work group and wishes to thank the following organizations for their work 

    during this process: 

    Developed and/or Reviewed by representatives from the following: 

    Alternatives to Battering, Topeka 

    Correctional Counseling of Kansas, Wichita   {{MAYBE Mr. Lyons got this and didn’t take kindly to it?”}}{{Or, the problem was, he DIDN’t get it?}}

    Family Crisis Center, Great Bend 

    Governor’s Domestic Violence Fatality Review Board 

    Halley Counseling, P.A., Girard 

    Johnson County Office of Court Services 

    The Family Peace Initiative, Girard 

    Kansas District Judges’ Association 

    Kansas Attorney General Carla Stovall 

    Kansas Attorney General Steve Six 

    Kansas Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence 

    Kansas County and District Attorney Association 

    Kansas Department of Corrections  

    The Mental Health Consortium 

    Office of Judicial Administration 

    Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence Center, Hutchinson 

    Wyandotte Mental Health Center 

    Family Crisis Center, GreatIn 2007, The Governor’s Domestic Violence Fatality Review Board (GDVFRB), chaired by 

    former Attorney General Robert Stephen appointed a subcommittee to review and update the 

    Essential Elements and Standards of Batterer Intervention Programs. The GDVFRB adopted 

    these as best practice standards in providing batterer intervention programming in Kansas, and 

    recommended that the Office of Attorney General implement a training and certification program 

    for providers of batterers intervention programs. 

    Attorney General Steve Six readily accepted the recommendation to train and certify batterer 

    intervention providers in Kansas using the Essential Elements and Standards of Batterer 

    Intervention Programs in Kansas.   

    For More information about this initiative, contact the  

    Director of Victim Services in the office of 

     Kansas Attorney General  

    Steve N. Six 

    120 S.W. 10th Avenue 

    Topeka KS 66612-1597 



    “FATHERHOOD  IN KANSAS (google, results 124,000)



    Child Custody, Support and Visitation Rights – Kansas Bar 

    Visitation, often called “access” is the right of the parent who does not …. Child support and visitation are considered by statute in Kansas to be two 
    http://www.ksbar.org/public/public…/child_custody.shtml – Cached – Similar – 

    Crisis Resource Center of SE Kansas –

    Child Exchange and Visitation Center. 669 South 69 Hwy.  Wichita Childrens Home Child Access. 810 North Holyoke 
    http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/…/access_visitation…/ks.html – Cached – Similar – 

    Kansas Governor Mark Parkinson website  Funding Source, The Federal State Access &Visitation grant program is a formula grant program to states and 
    http://www.governor.ks.gov/grants/grants_savppp.htm – Cached – Similar – 


    1. Overland Park Visitation Attorney | Leawood KS Parenting Plans 


      Visitation & Parenting Plans. Kansas Visitation Lawyer  custody or non- residential custody, your children have the right of access to both parents. 
      http://www.cavlaw.com/PracticeAreas/Visitation-Parenting-Plans.asp – Similar – 

      You will have access, at our Download Site, to the legal forms you need to modify custody-visitation in Kansas

      These forms are the most current versions 

      Following an emotional breakup, many moms allow or deny visitation by whim, {{OR WHEN HE THREATENS TO SLIT ONE’s THROAT< CASE IN POINT}}
      leaving the dads without regular access to their children. 
      http://www.kslegalhelp.com/Divorce-and-Family…/Paternity.shtml – Cached – Similar – 


    Today’s post is a new blog page: “Lessons from Antioch” (California)

    leave a comment »


    The pages are full of the Dugards and the Garridos; people what answers, and collectively, it appears there’s a need to process the trauma, and put names to the “Who, What When, How and Why?” this happened.

    Click on this link:

    (As these posts get a little more personal, understand it’s not just for the blogger’s sake but for the bloggers’ hope that another perspective on these things might get heard.)

    It triggers trauma, or perhaps it’s thoughtfulness, or perhaps it’s a desire to mention what other mothers have gone through that is different, but of some similar qualities: sudden loss of access to and contact with their sons or daughters, and lack of closure, or time to recover or heal from prior abuse(s).  One can get so acclimatized to abuse, or to repeated violations of personal integrity, that this sort of “alternate reality” becomes  “normal.”  What’ I’m concerned about in this matter is future generations, and what “normal” has become for American women, both growing up and grown-up mothers.

    My own father (deceased)  I deduce was told, like many, to “man up,” shut up and step up to the plate when his (wife-beating) father abandoned the household.  Retaliation for even CRYING about the violence, let alone reporting it, was simply part of his youth.  After being locked in a closet for crying initially (so the family lore goes) he went on, and worked hard, educated himself hard, provided well, such that his own children (ALL of them) also got college educated.  I’d say did all right (that’s one adult child’s perspective only; there ARE others), but as the youngest of these, and alone in the house as his marriage disintegrated, I certainly noticed and questioned that, despite the success, he also drank hard too (bottling something else up?), married several times, and, unfortunately, never discussed or addressed any of his own family shortcomings, nor did any of our own adult family actually handle these well, other than by transmitting what I could call UNhealthy family values:  Zero dialogue on THE most important issues of life, a lifelong habit.  Scapegoating.  Tolerance of domestic violence towards, now, more than one member, and clan-like excommunication for anyone who dares to report any of the worst family secrets (and I shudder to think of the ones that haven’t yet come to surface).

    My father died suddenly and under circumstances that were not explained to me.  I learned more about him after his death from the Internet than from anyone I was related to.   He has been described alternately as a genius, and modest (a side of him we didn’t know!), and creative.  His mother was devout, and he rejected the concept and existence of God, another family value I myself later rejected, and paid dearly for over the years.  I like to think that, had he realized one of his daughters would go on to marry and be exposed to what his own mother was, I like to think he’d be turning over in his grave, but fact is, I don’t know.  I do know there was a certain sexism, not uncommon for the day and time.  And I do thank him for not following the utterly insane policy that the HHS is nowadays, deciding and enforcing that children need contact with wife-beating fathers, for the good of, I guess, the country (???) and their little lives.

    I consider refusal to address violence endorsing it.  They consider it “dwelling on the past,” even when the ostensible past was as recent as last week or last month.  They got that one down, and in order that my children should not know the truth about this family, have endorsed further criminal behavior towards them, and me, and this state, again in the name of “Family.”

    It appears that the family law venue is also in the business of telling people to shut up about both their own family secrets (retaliation on custodial parents for reporting abuse in the form of switching the kid to the accused parent!) as well as ITS own secrets, which (as family secrets tend to) includes the financial business deal driving the steamship that’s steamrolling over (well, I could go on and on with that analogy, it’s an apt one) – — that’s steamrolling over the years that SOME families might have otherwise had in peace to recover from the initial trauma, and rebuild a few lives.  Big Brother had a supposedly Better Idea for the country, you know, and so we are to sacrifice the duration of our children’s — well, til they are legally adults — and stay in the system until all the proper tolls have been paid, and “Therapeutic Jurisprudence” has run its course, replacing the former language of right, wrong, crime & punishment, and deterrents for doing it again.  

    Which deterrents Phillip Garrido had, but in the words of one of his several kidnapped for the purpose of raping women, (the 1976 woman that got him the 50 year jail sentence, that he served a few years of), it just made him a smarter and wiser criminal.


    However it’s not the men’s doing this so much as the institutions they create doing this, which frightens me the most, for at least my own children’s futures.  Put against this, is their spirit and, I hope, smarts.  

    And the VOLUNTARY donation of the national resources and sort of “conscience” to the federal government.  Kind of like the cycle of rain, rivers flow to the ocean, evaporation, clouds, rain, etc.  The concept is that justice and a better society will somehow rain down on us.

    I’m not holding my breath.  


    However, sometimes this happens when the parents may even know where they are; this happens in the “family court venue.”  

    Recent articles talk about how the girls are recovering from trauma, and that’s partly where I started in this new page.  I note a difference of perspective from the experts quoted and what i know about the trauma thing from experience.

    I end up talking about the importance of the declaration of independence, and personal defense of boundaries.  And how it MIGHT help if the public were a little less self-delusional, compartmentalized, and dissociative when it comes to US vs THEM and the role of government in kissing all our “ow-ies,” settling our squabbles, raising our young, monitoring our marriages, determining our public visions, and protecting our boundaries.

    NO, let’s get back to the foundational principles.  And add women and girls in the mix as citizens, not as items to be devoured or dominated.

    If overall, we ALL had less tolerance for unreasonable dominance, I think a lot of partnerships and society would be healthier.  You can force compliance, but you can’t force love, and when force gets into the family business, then we are REALLY in trouble.  And we are.  

    I don’t think the culprit is god or godlessness. I don’t think the culprit is men OR women.  I think the loss is of a sense of selves as individuals (socially) and a loss of language — transformational ideology throughout the internet, and our institutions.  

    As imperfect, or OK< sexist racist classist (etc.) as those colonists were in the latter 1700s, the three “charters of freedom” still shed light and common sense:

    • Declaration of Independence
    • Constitution
    • Bill of Rights.


    If we don’t like the middle one, we should change the oath Presidents take on assuming office.  Barring that, we should hold them and every one else in any form of government to the same standard of these 3.  “Consent of the governed” still counts.

    So I recommend we start thinking in those terms again, starting with putting some of the terms back into our heads and coming out of our mouths.  Expect a fight, in that matter, though!

    That’s all for now.  If you want  straighter talk and fewer words, get it from the street:


    On God (Dec. 2006)

    3. If God is, whence come evil things? If He is not, whence come good?
    BOETHIUS (Roman philosopher 480?-524 A.D.) The Consolation of Philosophy, translated by W.V. Cooper, 1981

    4. I still believe that standing up for the truth of God is the greatest thing in the world. This is the end of life. The end of life is not to be happy. The end of life is not to achieve pleasure and avoid pain. The end of life is to do the will of God, come what may.  
    MARTIN LUTHER KING JR., (U.S. clergyman and human rights activist, 1929-1968), “The Most Durable Power,” sermon, Montgomery, Alabama, 6 November 1956

    (LIFE LIBERTy and PURSUIT of HAPP(y)NESS, and in that order.  Physical, mental, or spiritual Welfare =/= happiness, but the first can sustain life.    Moral proclamations by government about how to live, how free to be, and what happiness consists of is not the government’s province, it’s ours).


    On poverty, who are you going to believe? A Harvard Ph.D. or a poor person?

    Poor Magazine


    This stereotype is that poor people can lift themselves out of poverty because, it assumes, they are responsible for their own poverty.   Linda Burnham explained in her opening, the myth in America is that “everyone can pull themselves up by their bootstraps.” This myth allows the public to discard “a whole layer of society” who can’t pull themselves up.

    Linda spoke of the American economy as both an engine of incredible wealth and an engine of poverty. This engine “creates and recreates poverty everyday in the US and all over the world.” During the war, discussions of poverty have been swept off the table. It is important to connect the war against the poor to the war abroad. Burnham mentioned that Lockheed Martin, the world’s largest weapons manufacturer, has just been awarded a contract to run the welfare system in Florida. The company, who makes huge profits off of war, will now be making huge profits off of managing Florida’s poor.** In order for a country to subjugate and dominate another population, it has to first dominate its population at home. All you have to do is look at the streets of your city to see that this is being done on an everyday basis.

    **This is why I don’t think much about the conversations on solving domestic violence.  IF it were solved, there’d be less cash flow all round, less poverty, and poverty IS an industry!


    Or Ask the Beat Within


    Violence And Material Madness
    by Speedy, posted May 18, 2009I think violence comes from people who has a bad life style. They don’t get the good things in life and so they get angry, so they look to robbing and stealing. That’s what gets them in here. So then, when they get in here, their whole life is starting to mess up. And when that happens, they’re in the system. Then they get even more madder because they’re missing out on a lot, so they get to more stealing.

    Some people grow up with anger, and some are taught to be mad and act bad. Like some parents say, when somebody hits you, you supposed to hit them back. But sometimes that’s not the right thing to do, so than they get in trouble for what they parents taught them. But when they get home, he or her mom says, “That a’right.” So than they keep getting’ in trouble.

    But some violent stuff mostly come from material madness, so they try to steal and stealing ain’t the right thing. You should just get a job, have some money in yo’ pocket and that’s go be you. And if that material thing is really expensive, so that’s when you save up and get that thing for yourself, so than that’s when you see you don’t have to look to stealing. When you don’t have to steal and you see that you don’t have to do that no more.

    OR:  (This issue had several letters to President Obama….)

    A Letter To The President-
    by TAE, posted May 18, 2009Dear Mr. Obama,

    I think you should make certain things that keep young black men busy for the weekends, so we could stop killing ourselves. I also think that you should start building new colleges for people who cannot afford that type of money, so they could be something in life to take care of their family, and get the majority of the tax money every year.

    I think there should be less education about African-American people and more about other cultures so people wouldn’t have to feel down all the time by hearing the word “Nigger” a lot.

    People who’s getting abused in their family should be taken care of in a shelter that provides a little bit of discipline, so they could grow up and succeed in life, and keep innocent people out of the pen.


    Dear President
    by Richard, posted May 19, 2009How are you Mr. President? I am writing from Santa Clara juvenile hall. My name is Richard. I am facing a life sentence for kidnapping, attempted murder, carjacking, and 2nd degree robbery. I am 17 years old.

    I would like to congratulate you for becoming the 44th President of the United States of America. You inspire me to do many things. It gives me hope to become something I thought I couldn’t be in life no matter what it is. I believe in you, that you are going to make things right in this world. I know when I go to prison I can try my hardest to get my education and other things. I didn’t think I could at first, but with you as President, I have faith.

    I know I am in here and might not get out soon, but I know you will be there for those on the outside of these walls. I know you will make a change. I hope the best for you, Mr. President. Thank you for reading this, and I apologize for taking your time.


    Our Mission

    The Beat Within’s mission is to provide incarcerated youth with consistent opportunity to share their ideas and life experiences in a safe space that encourages literacy, self-expression, some critical thinking skills, and healthy, supportive relationships with adults and their community. Outside of the juvenile justice system, The Beat Within partners with community organizations and individuals to bring resources to youth both inside and outside of detention. We are committed to being an effective bridge between youth who are locked up and the community that aims to support their progress towards a healthy, non-violent, and productive life.


    Regarding recovery from violence (WHICH the Antioch/Dugard articles from today dealt with),

    from http://www.Lundy Bancroft.com:

    • Addressing the healing needs of children: There is a wide consensus that children’s recovery from exposure to domestic violence (and from divorce) depends largely on the quality of their relationship with the non-battering parent and with their siblings.20 

    Of course this statement runs entirely contrary to the bulk of the “fatherhood” premises and the entire family court venue basically doesn’t validate or practice.

    • Therefore, in addition to safety consideration, court determinations should take into account whether the batterer is likely, based on his past and current behavior, to continue to undermine the mother’s authority, interfere with mother-child relationships, or cause tensions between siblings.

    This becomes kind of irrelevant when the court itself does the same things.  My experience is that the past was considered to be a totally blank slate, and therefore any fallout was attributed to whoever it “fell” on.  Extended family influence (which I tried to bring up, and was significant) was ignored.  It was an unbelievably stereotyped reaction.  Possibly the reason I’m writing so much is from the impact of the years of being told POST-separation not to talk about this, or any other subsequent criminal behavior(s).  Oh well . . . 

    • Because children need a sense of safety in order to heal,21 juvenile and family court decisions may not want to include leaving the children in the unsupervised care of a man whose violent tendencies they have witnessed, even if they feel a strong bond of affection for him.


    So when it typically does, often right after the filing of a civil restraining order, or when divorce is started almost immediately after someone files a protective order, resulting in the “joint custody” “Shared parenting” mindset, then we have a serious values conflict, as I did, in the past, now almost ten years.  A move was made (locally) to extend the initial restraining order time to 5 years from 3. I know I would’ve made it had this happened.  Certain agencies, and entities, made sure this was defeated.  Now that I have time (called unemployment!), I did find out who they were in that case.  


    If you want straight talk on some poverty, justice, and crime policy issues, again, (although I try, there’s the verbiage issue!), try:  Street Spirit, Poor Magazine, the Beat Within (although that’s getting slicker and slicker since I first saw it),


    Thanks.  Happy Labor Day (USA).  Unemployment rate _ _ _ _ _???

    Labor (or rest) well, we have one more day off in America.  I gave up the concept of seeing a daughter at this time in favor of not fighting that fight until I have some income.  The lack of closure is a constant source of stress.  Closing has to be done right to be safe.  Go figure.  This is one reason I think if women leaving abuse could get a bit of space and time, they could run some great businesses.  It appears that Jaycee/Alyssa both helped her captorS S S S Ss s s s s run a business (not including any horrors she endured IF the brothel rumor was true) and educated her also-imprisoned daughters, the product of her rapes, but nonetheless her DAUGHTERS,  the best she could.  I wish her well and the family that’s now reunited with her.


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