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War comes home: Waterboarding a 4 yr old

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QUIZ:

Do you think it was a MOTHER or a FATHER that did this?

Was there an enabling 2nd woman around at the time?

As I say, there is approximately one a week coming to the press.

How cast iron is your stomach? Because if you can’t stomach what’s happening to this society and why, there may come a time when the blinkers must come off, and concerns worse than foreclosure, or inflation, become paramount in one’s life..

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This reference comes from a newspaper via Michael Moore website, and from this site referenced below. I hope you will take some time to read her comments 9n this case on the Michael Moore site (linked on the title to this article, below).

February 8th, 2010 2:54 PM

U.S. soldier Joshua Tabor waterboards his daughter, 4, because she couldn’t recite alphabet: police

By Brian Kates / New York Daily News

A GI waterboarded his 4-year-old daughter in their suburban Tacoma, Wash., home because she couldn’t recite the alphabet, police reported.

Joshua Tabor, 27, allegedly admitted to police he used the torture technique because his daughter was terrified of water and he was furious she didn’t know her ABCs.

Tabor was arrested Sunday and charged with assault of a child.

Tabor, a soldier at the Lewis-McChord base in Tacoma, Wash., told police he held the little girl’s head backward in a sink of water, Yelm Police Chief Todd Stancil told the the local newspaper, the Nisqually Valley News.

Stancil said Tabor had admitted to using this means of punishment three to four times.

Police found the little girl locked in a bathroom with bruises on her back and scratch marks on her neck and throat.

Asked how she got the bruises, the girl is said to have replied, “Daddy did it.”

Police did not release Tabor’s rank or the nature of his military service. His base is home to units that have served in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The girl, who was not identified, had been in Tabor’s court-ordered custody for about a month and a half.

After his arrest, she was placed in the care of Child Protective services, Stancil said. She had moved to Yelm from Montana where she lived with her grandparents. Her mother lives in Kansas.

Cops arrested Tabor after neighborhood residents reported him walking around his neighborhood drunk, wearing a Kevlar Army helmet and threatening to break windows.

Tabor’s girlfriend told police that Tabor has an anger problem and beats his daughter, Stancil said.

Tabor reportedly said his girlfriend helped hold the girl down in the water. She had not been charged.

The couple has a 2-month-old child together, Stancil said

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I’ve been speaking about this sad profit-making practice for few years now. [1], [2], [3] My latest speeches are posted at:
http://www.selfrepresentedfool.org/id79.html

References:

[1] Dr. Sidiakina, N.A. (2010) STOP Family Courts’ Torture And Abuse of Protective Parents And Self-Represented Parties:
http://www.selfrepresentedfool.org/id79.html

[2] Dr. Sidiakina, N.A. (2009) Family Courts’ Reliance on Parental Alienation Syndrome Theory Turns Normal Children Into Mental Retards:
http://www.selfrepresentedfool.org/id79.html

[3] Dr. Sidiakina, N.A. (2009) The Family Courts’ System in California Turns Children into Slaves:
http://www.selfrepresentedfool.org/id79.html

ANYONE want to track that case? Why did the mother of this 4 year old move to Kansas (or him to Washington)? When, where and why was this little girl in Montana, with “grandparents.”

For the uninformed, “grandparents” in custody battles, particularly any ones that involved domestic violence or child abuse, or allegations of it, come in TWO brands:

1. His (in which case, what kind of sense does it make putting a kid in the custody of the parents who raised a man that has been abusive? Or woman?)

2. Hers (another factor to consider is that SOME families respond to the breakup of their child’s relationship, or marriage, differently than others. Some families support their biological (adult) child, others turn on them. This becomes interesting when one figures that one generation of poor boundaries, and lack of understanding that it’s wrong to hit may produce an adult woman who doesn’t have the greatest boundaries in marriage. Or, other scenarios may include a young adult child needing so desperately to get away from an abusive (or simply emotionally bloodless/cold) family of origin she mistakes lust for love. Or doesn’t mistake it, but simply takes the closest apparent exit.

I don’t know about this case. I’m just providing the links.

Do you (“Gentle readers”) Understand the power of multiplication? Any good business person, network marketer, or affiliate of any product, should understand the principle.

Well, guess where these incidents are ‘bred’? The Family Courts ARE the incubators for sure. They are a hotbed of profit — for some. Not the four year olds, of course…
LOOK: A need is a market niche. If problems were simply solved in the most direct, honest, and sensible way, there goes a business opportunity, and it would have to knock on other doors.

What better constant stream of cash than a SYSTEM which generates problems? And when people are MANDATED to go through it, basically, unless their marriages are intact (and 1 out of 2, approximately, in the US aren’t), there’s practically No Exit.

We have in this one case, apparently a vet applying Boot Camp procedures (and worse) to a kid. Thankfully, this one got caught.
Go figure!

Haiti, Idaho, 33 traumatized kids, 10 arrested Baptists and ChurchThink

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(A)

I am going to start posting this, I think, at the top of every post:

https://commerce.guidestar.org/GuideStar/newaccount.aspx

Know thyself, and Know Thy Nonprofits (including churches).  ONE way to know someone is to take a look at their books.  I mean Income, Expense, Assets & Liabilities, and request proof of who got which services.

Register for FREE with Guidestar, and start looking things up.  That’s what the 2 men from Albany, GA did in the nonprofit hospital scam… 

Do a local audit.  After all, if you pay taxes, aren’t those YOUR taxes?  And if a tax-exempt organization is tax-exempt and NOT providing whatever actually qualifies them for tax-exempt status (presumably a healthy does of altruism and concern for the common good, or picking up some of what the government can’t cover itself….) (say WHAT is government for, again?  Health? and Human Services ???  Linguistic transformations, etc….). 

and

(B)

OK, not one of my best post titles, but who could resist this article?

‘Right Thing’ or Recklessness?

Arrests of Baptists stir debate about trafficking

By Frank Bajak and Paisley Dodds
Associated Press Posted: 01/31/2010 08:39:52 PM PST Updated: 01/31/2010 10:34:56 PM PST

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti — Ten U.S. Baptists arrested trying to take 33 children out of earthquake-shattered Haiti say they were just trying to do the right thing, applying Christian principles to save Haitian children.

Prime Minister Max Bellerive said Sunday he was outraged by the group’s “illegal trafficking of children” in a country long afflicted by the scourge and by foreign meddling.

One thing I’ve noticed about people intent on grabbing children is a total insensitivity to their former culture or values, let alone parentage…

But the hard reality on the ground in this desperately poor country — especially after the catastrophic Jan. 12 quake — is that some parents openly attest to their willingness to part with their children if it will mean a better life.

It was a sentiment expressed by all but one of some 20 Haitian parents interviewed at a tent camp Sunday that teemed with children whose toys were hewed from garbage.  {{“hewed”?  Isn’t that what you do to trees?}}

“Some parents I know have already given their children to foreigners,” said Adonis Helman, 44. “I’ve been thinking how I will choose which one I may give — probably my youngest.”

Haiti’s overwhelmed government has halted all adoptions unless they were in motion before the quake amid fears that parentless or lost children are more vulnerable than ever to being seized and sold.

Without proper documents and concerted efforts to track down their parents, they could be forever separated from family members able and willing to care for them. Bellerive’s personal authorization is now required for the departure of any child.

The orphanage where the children were later taken said at least some of the kids have living parents, who were apparently told that the children were going on an extended holiday from the post-quake misery.

The church group’s own mission statement said it planned to spend only hours in the devastated capital, quickly identifying children without immediate families and busing them to a rented hotel in the Dominican Republic without bothering to get permission from the Haitian government.

Whatever its intentions, other child welfare organizations in Haiti called the plan reckless.

The church members, most from Idaho, said they were only trying to rescue abandoned and traumatized children.

IDAHO has a family court system.  There are certainly traumatized children being manufactured over there — why not practice this form of “love” locally, or have CPS and other agencies already marked out this territory?  There are battered mothers on the verge of poverty and homelessness there.  Were they simply in need of kids without going through the approval process?  Or is the Bill of Rights over here getting in the way?

In this chaos the government is in right now, we were just trying to do the right thing,” the group’s spokeswoman, Laura Silsby, said at Haiti’s judicial police headquarters, where she and others were taken after their arrest Friday night trying to cross the border into the Dominican Republic in a bus.

Silsby, 40, admitted she had not obtained the proper Haitian documents for the children, whose names were written on pink tape on their shirts.

Dang those pesky laws.  The “right thing” in this case was obviously to ignore them, or be totally unconscious that such restraints might exist, and be appropriate.

The children, ages 2 months to 12 years old, were taken to an orphanage run by Austrian-based SOS Children’s Villages, where spokesman George Willeit said they arrived “very hungry, very thirsty.”

WERE taken, or HAD been taken?  Did the church go to this orphanage to get some abandoned traumatized kids?  Or were they taken here after the Haiti-fleeing church folk were caught?

A 2- to 3-month old baby was dehydrated and had to be hospitalized, he said. An orphanage worker held and caressed another, older baby, who was feverish and looked disoriented.

“One (8-year-old) girl was crying, and saying, ‘I am not an orphan. I still have my parents.’ And she thought she was going on a summer camp or a boarding school or something like that,” Willeit said.

The orphanage was working to reunite the children with their families, joining a concerted effort by the Haitian government, the United Nations, the International Committee of the Red Cross and other nongovernment organizations.

In Idaho, the Rev. Clint Henry denied that his Central Valley Baptist Church had anything to do with child trafficking and said he didn’t believe such reports. He urged his tearful congregation to pray to God to “help them as they seek to resist the accusations of Satan and the lies that he would want them to believe and the fears that he would want to plant into their heart.”

{{pls. note on my blogroll link to copyright use…}} 

And there, my friends, you have a typical church reaction to being confronted on violations of laws by its members.  It wasn’t the members’ illegal activities that count, but Satan that motivated whoever reported them.

That US/THEM mentality is the breeding ground for gangs as much as other areas.  Add to it the herd mentality, and people with needy children in the emotional portion of their thinking, and voila — an overseas trip comes together. 

I promised in an earlier blog I’d make up for having failed to offend ALL groups, so this is part of my delivery.

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(C)

Miscellaneous programs in Idaho (Taggs.hhs.gov.  These were REALLY random selections of CFDA programs I thought some of those church folk might want to get involved in, some of which refer to adoptions…

Number of rows returned: 40
Rows 1 through 40 displayed.
Records Searched: 161306

Award Number Award Title OPDIV Program Office Sum of Actions
1001ID1407  FY 2010 ADOPTION ASSISTANCE  ACF  CB  $ 3,149,636 
SM059054  MADISON CARES  SAMHSA  CMHS  $ 996,964 
90RG0083  REFUGEE MICROENTERPRISE DEVELOPMENT  ACF  ORR  $ 200,000 
0901IDAIPP  FY 2009 ADOPTION INCENTIVE PAYMENT PROGRAM  ACF  CB  $ 356,800 
0901IDCJA1  2009 CJA  ACF  CB  $ 130,414 
90RX0090  REFUGEE PREVENTIVE HEALTH  ACF  ORR  $ 128,085 
09PAIDFPSS  2009  ACF  CB  $ 38,214 
09PCIDFPSS  2009  ACF  CB  $ 23,032 
0901IDCA01  2009 NCCAN  ACF  CB  $ 178,963 
0901IDFPSS  2009  ACF  CB  $ 1,217,307 
90RU0163  UNANTICIPATED ARRIVIALS  ACF  ORR  $ 451,468 
0911IDFPCV  2009 FPSSCV  ACF  CB  $ 36,142 
0901ID1407  FY 2009 ADOPTION ASSISTANCE  ACF  CB  $ 5,207,087 
0801IDCJA1  2008 CJA  ACF  CB  $ 130,413 
08PAIDFPSS  2008 PSSF  ACF  CB  $ 38,432 
0801IDAIPP  FY 2008 ADOPTION INCENTIVE PAYMENT PROGRAM  ACF  CB  $ 72,000 
08PCIDFPSS  2008 PSSF  ACF  CB  $ 23,164 
0811IDFPCV  2008 FPSSCV  ACF  CB  $ 18,717 
0801IDCA01  2008 NCCAN  ACF  CB  $ 174,928 
0801IDFPSS  2008 PSSF  ACF  CB  $ 1,260,832 
0801ID1407  FY 2008 ADOPTION ASSISTANCE  ACF  CB  $ 4,468,573 
10YO0052  STREET OUTREACH PROGRAM  ACF  FYSB  $ 150,000 
90CU0011  IMPROVING POSITIVE OUTCOMES FOR CHILDREN THROUGH FAMILY DRUG COURT  ACF  CB  $ 2,575,000 
0701IDCJA1  2007 CJA  ACF  CB  $ 124,244 
90ZI0068  REFUGEE MICROENTERPRISE DEVELOPMENT PROJECT  ACF  ORR  $ 603,054 
0701IDAIPP  FY 2007 ADOPTION INCENTIVE PAYMENT PROGRAM  ACF  CB  $ 68,000 
90RL0137  SERVICES TO OLDER REFUGEES  ACF  ORR  $ 435,183 
90ZR0004  REFUGEE AGRICULTURAL PARTNERSHIP PROGRAM  ACF  ORR  $ 303,582 
90RT0123  TARGETED ASSISTANCE  ACF  ORR  $ 633,376 
90RG0062  REFUGEE MICROENTERPRISE DEVELOPMENT PROJECT  ACF  ORR  $ 760,000 
90ZE0092  REFUGEE SCHOOL IMPACT  ACF  ORR  $ 660,000 
90RX0186  REFUGEE PREVENTIVE HEALTH  ACF  ORR  $ 240,000 
07PCIDFPSS  2007 PSSF  ACF  CB  $ 25,188 
0701ID00FP  2007 PSSF  ACF  CB  $ 1,336,795 
0701IDAEGP  2007 AEGP  ACF  FYSB  $ 208,264 
H21MC07735  TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY IMPLEMENTATION  HRSA  MCHB  $ 568,600 
0701ID01FP  2007 PSSF  ACF  CB  $ 41,791 
0701IDCA01  2007 NCCAN  ACF  CB  $ 171,365 
0701ID1407  FY 2007 ADOPTION ASSISTANCE  ACF  CB  $ 3,792,023 
0301ID00FP  2003 PSSF  ACF  CB  $ 1,067,762 

C’ouer D’alene city blogspot (in Idaho) has this on Child Abduction Prevention:

Although the Coeur d’Alene Police Department receives very few cases of child abduction, the correct response and investigation of missing or abducted children remain a high priority for the department. Last year, Chief Wayne Longo spearheaded up-to-date training in Amber Alert for all members of the police department. Idaho State Police and Kootenai County Central Dispatch have been vital in offering and providing such training in the use of the statewide Amber Alert system. This training initiative has assisted officers in responding quickly and appropriately to these types of cases.

In the fall of 2007, Chief Longo attended a two-day workshop in Alexandria, Virginia, hosted by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC). NCMEC, a non-profit entity supported by corporate sponsorships and grants, paid for all expenses associated with the training.

The executive-level training has a focus on a standardized law enforcement response and policies nation wide in child abduction cases. NCMEC also offered additional information and resources such as “Team Adam” to local law enforcement agencies.
Team Adam is a deployment of retired police officers specifically trained in child abduction who respond to a community and assist local law enforcement in the case of an abducted child.

. . .

In 2005, Chief Longo was part of a multi-agency team that investigated the devastating Groene case that sent shock waves through North Idaho and the nation. In the past year, the FBI requested that he travel around the nation with other commanders involved in this investigation to share the lessons learned from that difficult case with other law enforcement leaders. FBI Special Agent Mike Genecko, Major Travis Chaney of the KCSD, FBI Supervisor Don Robinson, and assistant US Attorneys have accompanied him. The FBI has paid the expenses associated with all of the trips. Important lessons learned in Idaho are shared with our counterparts around the nation to assist other jurisdictions with best practices and ideas. The concept of cooperation and the Unified/Incident command system (Chief Longo refers to it as the “Blurring of the Patch”) are strongly emphasized.

Our children are our most precious resource and it is the goal of the men and women of the Coeur d’Alene Police Department to provide the highest level of protection and service to our community,” Chief Longo stated. “This investigation [Groene] has forever changed all who were involved. The response by our community was unbelievable and continues to this day.”

The Coeur d’Alene Police Department encourages citizens to report any suspicious activity or information regarding a child abduction case. For more information on the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, please visit their website at http://www.missingkids.com.

Posted by Victoria Bruno at 8:49 AM
Well, I just kind of think they ought to spread some love around closer to home.
The teaching point:
Our OWN U.S. Systems are creating abandoned and traumatized children and families faster and faster.  It has become an art form, practically.  If the churches would care equally about this, there might be more people with more resources to go to Haiti or other emergency areas, if need be, and LEGALLY find out how to help.
Traumatized kids are vulnerable.  Keep your hands OFF them unless there is a legitimate cause to put them on!  Recognize they have parents, and play by the rules.
My own life has been devastated, to this point, by people that don’t.  Many of them religious, and all of them having their own motives, and  spreading out apron skirts or whatever when I have approached with the simplicity of the laws that already exist.   Laws are not “satanic,” they are good, and they are to protect vulnerable populations, crisis or no crisis. 

(D)

Lessons from Luzerne County, PA:

Disclaimer:  I am aware of the case, and this website.  I have not screened it; you can get the same story from other sources on-line.  The United States is engaged in child-trafficking through its own courts.  Take your spare church (etc.) time and do some financial audits.  Families in the middle of this can hardly afford to!
This is a link on the page “San Diego Child Trafficking.com”

Despite Red Flags About Judges, a Kickback Scheme Flourished

Published: March 27, 2009

WILKES-BARRE, Pa. — Things were different in the Luzerne County juvenile courtroom, and everyone knew it. Proceedings on average took less than two minutes. Detention center workers were told in advance how many juveniles to expect at the end of each day — even before hearings to determine their innocence or guilt. Lawyers told families not to bother hiring them. They would not be allowed to speak anyway.

The 56-foot yacht in Jupiter, Fla., used by the two judges.

“The judge’s whim is all that mattered in that courtroom,” said Marsha Levick, the legal director of the Juvenile Law Center, a child advocacy organization in Philadelphia, which began raising concerns about the court to state authorities in 1999. “The law was basically irrelevant.”

Last month, the law caught up with Judge Mark A. Ciavarella Jr., 58, who ran that juvenile court for 12 years, and Judge Michael T. Conahan, 56, a colleague on the county’s Court of Common Pleas.

In what authorities are calling the biggest legal scandal in state history, the two judges pleaded guilty to tax evasion and wire fraud in a scheme that involved sending thousands of juveniles to two private detention centers in exchange for $2.6 million in kickbacks.

WHY WON’T CHURCHES START INVESTIGATING THIS TYPE OF ACTIVITY, FROM THE TOP TO THE BOTTOM?  THEY CERTAINLY HAVE AUDITORS IN THEIR MIDST…  AND AN AUDIT CAN STOP SOME THINGS, LIKE — CHILD-TRAFFICKING…. AND UN NECESSARY INSTITUTIONALIZATION OF U.S. CHILDREN!

On Thursday, the State Supreme Court ordered that the records be cleaned for hundreds of the 2,500 or so juveniles sentenced by Judge Ciavarella, and in the coming weeks, the two judges will be sentenced, under a plea agreement, to more than seven years in prison.

While the scandal continues to ripple nationally as legal experts debate whether juvenile courts have sufficient oversight, here in Luzerne County people are grappling with more immediate questions: How did two native sons, elected twice to the bench to protect children and serve justice, decide to do the opposite? And why did no one stop them?

Old Friends Hatch a Plan

It all started in June 2000 with a simple business proposition, according to the judges’ indictment and more than 40 interviews with courtroom workers, authorities and others.

Robert J. Powell, a wealthy personal-injury lawyer from Hazleton, Pa., and longtime friend of Judge Conahan, wanted to know how he might get a contract to build a private detention center. Judge Ciavarella thought he could help.

The two men agreed to meet and, according to prosecutors, somewhere in that conversation a plan was hatched that courthouse workers and county officials would later describe as a “freight train without brakes.”

First, Judge Ciavarella put Mr. Powell in touch with a developer who also happened to be an old friend, Robert K. Mericle, to start work on finding a site. Then, in January 2002 — the month Judge Conahan became president judge, giving him control of the courthouse budget — he signed a secret deal with Mr. Powell, agreeing that the court would pay $1.3 million in annual rent, on top of the tens of millions of dollars that the county and the state would pay to house the delinquent juveniles. And by the end of that year, Judge Conahan had gotten rid of the competition by eliminating financing for the county detention center.

“They were unstoppable,” said Judge Chester B. Muroski, who sent a letter to county commissioners raising concerns about detention costs, only to be transferred days later to another court by Judge Conahan. “I knew something was wrong, but they silenced all dissent.”

Other dissenters were also steamrolled.

When the county controller, Steve Flood, leaked a state audit that described the state’s lease of the center as a “bad deal,” the center’s owner filed a “trade secrets” lawsuit against Mr. Flood, and Judge Conahan sealed the suit to limit other documents’ getting out. His decision was later overturned.

“Everyone began to assume that the judges had some vested interest in the private center because they were pushing it so doggedly,” one courthouse worker said. Virtually all former colleagues and courthouse workers would not allowed themselves to be identified because the federal investigation into the kickback scheme was ongoing and they feared for their jobs if they alienated former allies of the judges.

Mr. Powell has not been charged. His lawyer said that the judges had coerced him into paying the kickbacks and that he was cooperating with investigators.

The few officials who had concerns at the time say their hands were tied. Probation officers say they suspected that something was amiss but were overruled every time they requested lighter sentences or for sentences to be served at home. County commissioners were the only ones authorized to sign contracts for detention centers. But by eliminating money for the county center, Judge Conahan left them little alternative but to sign on to the deal for the private facility. . .

IF YOU CAN ANALYZE SOME OF THESE PATTERNS, YOU KNOW WHICH TREES TO BARK UP AND WHICH NOT TO.
 

Stop the carpetbagging!

(I know I also just ‘sandbagged” this post, i.e., started on one topic, and ended on another.  But this is the blog that talks about money trails, like we all should teach each other to understand.)
The religious sentiment in people can go one way, or it can — like lemmings, or that herd of swine that Jesus gave some cast-out spirits called “Legion” permission to infest, sparing the man but causing the pigs to go “over the edge” like some overentitled spouses do, sometimes.
Come to think of it, in that incident (you can look it up at bible.cc if you want: google “Gadarenes”) the villagers were far more concerned about their lost swine (and profits) than the deliverance of a man who had a death fascination and was cutting himself — like some young survivors of childhood abuse, including molestation, sometimes do.
If you want to stop the hurt, stop the profit that comes from it.  And start using your head, including the analytical part of it, if there is such  — ALL the time, not just when there’s a disaster…
 
Even with a devastated country, the Haitian Prime MInister recognized that this behavior was “off.”:
 

Prime Minister Max Bellerive said Sunday he was outraged by the group’s “illegal trafficking of children” in a country long afflicted by the scourge and by foreign meddling….

Haiti’s overwhelmed government has halted all adoptions unless they were in motion before the quake amid fears that parentless or lost children are more vulnerable than ever to being seized and sold.

Without proper documents and concerted efforts to track down their parents, they could be forever separated from family members able and willing to care for them. Bellerive’s personal authorization is now required for the departure of any child

Congratulations for recognizing that Haitian children are Haitian children, and may still have parents who love them.  Congratulations for learning from history and taking some precautions against the next load of church folk with a warm fuzzy feeling in their hearts, extra resources, a sketchy plan, and a pastor who apparently believes that people, including foreign countries, who respect due process are somehow Satanic for interfering with the insatiable hunger for more children aged 2-12 to hug, mother, and be seen rescuing..
 
(This post written by a non-church-attending Christian mother who found NO help –ESPECIALLY not from any faith institution — when her own children were taken illegally within her own state when she was NOT in a devastated state.  Her apparent sin was leaving the devastation of domestic violence and starting to prosper, without state aid.  So I feel I have some right to be sharp-tongued in this matter!)
 
 

Who’s Your Daddy? Er, your Mommy? er. . . . Let the Courts Order…

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This NYT article from Dec. 13th is overdue for posting.  A story of how important motherhood really IS and what lengths a mother (whether financial,  or surrogate — neither with any biological relationship) will go to protect their own.

Sounds like, here, both the people who PAID for the babies (they were twins) and the surrogate mother (no biological relationship) were happily married.  And it would seem in both cases, employed…Surrogacy is a job…

 Anyway, I presented some “teaser” information.  Check out the article (multiple links and graphics), and just ask yourself, what are the responsible fatherhood folk going to do with THIS one? 

Building a Baby, With Few Ground Rules

Uncertain Laws on Surrogacy Can Leave Custody at Issue.

Unable to have a baby of her own, Amy Kehoe became her own general contractor to manufacture one.

For Ms. Kehoe and her husband, Scott, the idea seemed like their best hope after years of infertility.

Working mostly over the Internet, Ms. Kehoe handpicked the egg donor, a pre-med student at the University of Michigan. From the Web site of California Cryobank, she chose the anonymous sperm donor, an athletic man with a 4.0 high school grade-point average.

On another Web site, surromomsonline.com, Ms. Kehoe found a gestational carrier who would deliver her baby.

Finally, she hired the fertility clinic, IVF Michigan, which put together her creation last December.

“We paid for the egg, the sperm, the in vitro fertilization,” Ms. Kehoe said as she showed off baby pictures at her home near Grand Rapids, Mich. “They wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for us.”

[[So far, so good . . . . Everything is worked out.  Looks like the courts, the police, and the parental education folk will have to go look somewhere else, as well as supervised visitation supervisors….]]

 

A month later, a police officer supervised as the Kehoes relinquished the swaddled infants in the driveway.

Bridget and Ethan are now in the custody of the surrogate who gave birth to them, Laschell Baker of Ypsilanti, Mich. Ms. Baker had obtained a court order to retrieve them after learning that Ms. Kehoe was being treated for mental illness.

“I couldn’t see living the rest of my life worrying and wondering what had happened, or what if she hadn’t taken her medicine, or what if she relapsed,” said Ms. Baker, who has four children of her own.

Now, she and her husband, Paul, plan to raise the twins.

The creation of Ethan and Bridget tested the boundaries of the field known as third-party reproduction, in which more than two people collaborate to have a baby. Five parties were involved: the egg donor, the sperm donor, Ms. Baker and the Kehoes. And two separate middlemen brokered the egg and sperm.

 

Well, that’s not my main post this afternoon….  Interesting reading, though.  I poke fun at Designer Families from the Top-Down perspective.  But you ain’t seen nothin’ yet . . . .

 

Circular Reasoning – 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover (with your kids)

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A Quick Post (not mine, except intro & comments)

summarizing the situation fairly well:

 

On reading this post, pretty accurate, I thought of “50 ways to leave your lover,” by (if you don’t know this, you probably were born after the VAWA act passed the first time) Simon & Garfunkel.

Which I’d like to rededicate to women attempting to do so, once they realize what “love” is and is not.  Switch the gender, the song applies; and act on it sooner, rather than later.  I guess — pray, carry Mace, and suggest you also enroll in law school ASAP, you’ll need it

she said it’s really not my habit to intrude
furtermore i hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued
but i’ll repeat my self, at the risk of being crude
there must be 50 ways to leave your lover

chorus:
just slip out the back, Jack
make a new plan, Stan
don’t need to be coy, Roy
just get yourself free
hop on the bus, Gus
don’t need to discuss much
just drop off the key, Lee
and get yourself free.

she said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
i wish there was something i could do to make you smile again
i said, i appreciate that,
and would you please explain about the 50 ways.

she said, why don’t we both just sleep on it tonight
and i believe that in the morning you’ll begin to see the light
and then she kissed me and i realized she probably was right
there must be 50 ways to leave your lover
50 ways to leave your lover…

chorus

If children are involved, realize that Big Brother has a different plan for them, and you, as well.  See below:

[[my comments in brackets, otherwise it’s quote.  Quote ends at the line of ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]’s..]]

Note: Cross posted from Battered Mothers Rights – A Human Rights Issue.

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Between a Rock and a Hard Place: The System Sends Mixed Messages to Abuse Victims

Do you stay, or do you leave?

If you haven’t been a victim of abuse, or a victim of the legal system, you may not be able to understand why this is even posed as a question.

Of course you should leave!

I mean, who deserves to get beat up and/or sexually assaulted in their own home…regularly…or even occasionally. Even as careful as you could try to be to make sure everything is perfect, so as not to anger your abuser, SOMETHING always sets him off…sooner or later. He is a time bomb. You are his target.

What does it mean to be a target?

When you are a target, all of your abuser’s anger is directed toward you, specifically. Typically, he doesn’t pull the same shit towards those who he considers his equals, or more powerful than he. This is about power. He needs you like capitalism needs slaves. He uses you so that he can feel better about his shortcomings. He doesn’t know how to feel good without you.

But he is a good father. He doesn’t beat the kids.

You’re right. Good fathers don’t beat their kids…But nor do they beat up on women to whom they are temporarily, or permanently committed. Getting beat in front of your children doesn’t exactly send the kids a good message. In fact, they are put in limbo because your kids will either

A) Side with your abuser because he is more powerful and gets what he wants, or

B) Side with you in attempt to protect you…But let me break that down a little more

1) In protecting you, your children become targets, and the moment will come when they take blows for you

2) In choosing to side with you or not, your children will mimic the behaviors they have seen and normalize them.

Is this what you want?

I hope not because if some outsider reports what is going on in your household, CPS will come knocking and your kids may be gone before you ever get a chance to ask questions. You will be charged with neglect, endangering your children, or failure to protect.

Why?

Because everyone on the outside thinks you should have just left. You are themother. If you didn’t leave, you must be an accessory to the abuse.

What mother allows her children to get abused?

And what mother lets her children watch as she gets abused?

You must be a bad mother. You don’t deserve to have children. If you’re lucky, maybe your relatives will do you a favor and step in and raise your children for you. If not, foster care will do a great job…because it is indeed a job when they are getting paid.

Maybe you have a chance though, if you would just leave.

That seems like the best idea. Leave.

Wait!

Are you going to tell your abuser in advance, or are you going to sneak out in the middle of the night?

Remember, he needs you…is he going to agree to all of this?

Who the fuck do you think you are leaving him, and taking his children?

He owns you. He’s paying the bills. He’s the reason you can stay home and take care of his children.

[[Comment:  Not all the time.  Wasn’t true in my case…  Many times they are financially dependent on you as well…]]

If you go, you have reason to be fearful. Get a lawyer and a restraining order. But, back up a little. The lawyer says, if you take out a restraining order, in the near future, the judge in family court could use it against you. He (the judge and your abuser) may say this was part of your vindictive scheme to get the kids and the money and the house and the car. Restraining orders don’t prevent you from being harmed though anyway, because you still have to rely on law enforcement to act.

Get the restraining order anyway.

You’ll have record of what you tried to do, in case the news opts to report it upon your “tragic” death. But you can’t put the kids on the restraining order…Silly woman! You know fathers have rights!

In fact they have so many rights that if your abuser happens to get locked up, Responsible Fatherhood money will ensure that he has the means to transition back into his caretaking, father-role (don’t roll your eyes, we know you were doing the caretaking, but you’re not important and this is politics).

Go ahead and report the entire history of abuse.

You do have pictures, right? You mean to tell me in all these years that you have been getting assaulted, you weren’t taking pictures of your injuries and saving them in a secret location?

Did you at least tell the doctor? Is there anything in your medical record?

Where are your vaginal tears, bruises, scars?

In talking to police without evidence (or with it), your case will seem suspicious. It will be your word, against your abuser’s. Your local DA will be hesitant to take the case…well, hesitant is an overstatement because he may not even acknowledge you. DA’s only take cases they can win. DA’s aren’t interested in intrafamilial abuse reports in the midst of divorce

[[No matter what the local DA’s office website declares, it’s often true.]]

You have bad timing. You should have reported this before you were trying to separate. Oh, whoops, I forgot, they would have charged you, too!

Maybe you can work things out peacefully without involving the court.

[[Yeah, that’s the general philosophy behind sending such cases, involving kids, to mediation…  Just “work it out.”]]

When was the last time you worked things out “peacefully” with an abuser?

In good conscience, you allow your abuser to continue to have a relationship with the children he didn’t abuse, well, directly abuse (or at least you think so). I don’t know if you are really doing him a favor, or rather doing as the court would order you to do so, because you do know that the court will order you to do it, right (askMs. Leichtenberg and also ask the Paul family…family, because Monica Paul happens to be deceased)? Father’s rights.

I know, I know. Yes, you have been abused, but now, yes, yes, you will be court ordered to continue to have a relationship with your abuser because kids deserve both parents. If you try to resist, they will call in the child custody evaluators and Guardians ad Litem and they will say things you would never imagine…because you ARE crazy, aren’t you?

What mother would keep a father away from his children?

[[I didn’t, because doing so would’ve been to violate a standing custody order, ordering visitation.  Consequence?  I lost contact  with my kids.  To this date!  He continued to violate without impunity thereafter.]]

You know your abuser best.  

[[Yeah, right.  Everyone knows that only the ‘experts’ know what they’re talking about when it comes to abuse.  ‘Experts” prefer to talk with each other in their language, out of the earshot of the traumatized folk.  It’s cleaner and less personally disturbing/challenging.   People suffering PTSD often skip around in chronology, speak or write associatively, and can ge derailed on particularly frightening topics.  It takes a lot to overcome that. . . . . . . So, in one sense, this is understandable, because after long enough living with “lethality assessments” and threats, after actual physical assualts and the very high stakes of child custody, plus retaliation for reporting, some women can sound more garbled than they really are.  In reality to even stay alive, or emotionally somewhat intact, through significant abuse, esp. years of it, takes keeping track of more things that the average middle manager can, I’d be, in a rapidly changing economy.  We have literal lives at stake, let alone livelihoods.  Let alone the normal multi-tasking that often goes with being a mother, let alone a working mother with small kids who are growing up watching your abuse.  We also are highly motivated to stay alive, knowing that if we don’t who is likely to get custody of our offspring — either the abuser, or someone who enabled it, such as a close, nonreporting, non-intervening relative.  Or CPS, for which money changes hands…]] 

You know that when he makes threats, he can carry them through. You know if you don’t meet his demands, you and your children will suffer. But if you try to protect yourself and the children, you risk losing custody to your abuser. And why would you want to put your kids in that situation? They don’t want to live with him and if they do live with him, you already know how their lives will turn out. They will be like lost souls.

Sacrifice yourself…like Jesus Christ. Maybe you were put on earth to suffer for the sins of others.

You were supposed to be omniscient–to know that this man you chose would end up being an abuser.

You were supposed to be omnipresentto know that this man would abuse your children while you were away at work, or school, or while he was away with the kids.

You were supposed to be omnipotent–to protect yourself and your children and to be able to hide and simultaneously remain visible, and to be able to leave your abuser, but let him remain in your life.

How do you want to die?

[[Seems to me I blogged on this long ago — title about unacceptable choices for women.]]

What do you want the news to say about you when you are murdered?

That you were nice? No, they won’t say that! The neighbors and other members of the community will say how nice your abuser was. He was a family man. He played with the kids in the yard.

Everyone will be so shocked and sad that this happened. No one knew that you and your children were getting your asses kicked on a regular.

Your family may’ve thought you were crazy, or a bad mom, so they may’ve distanced themselves from you a long time ago. In fact, they may have ADORED your abuser.

Your children’s friends will not come forward. They are children–either they won’t tell anyway, or their parents won’t let them.

You know who else might know? The teachers. But teachers are so busy disciplining and teaching to the test…and besides, it’s too late for them to come forward now.

You see what you get for pretending and ignoring and trying to keep the family together? No credit.

Maybe the media will pull your court record and note that you tried to get a restraining order, but you didn’t show up. More than likely, they will relay gossip about how you were having an affair and how you were always provoking your abuser. Because violence is mutual. Girls hit, too.

Didn’t you know in advance that he was easily provoked? You should have checked his criminal record, or asked his ex.

Maybe your children will die, too. But everyone will talk about how tragic it was andhow innocent they are. They, not you, because you had to have done something to make a nice guy want to kill you.

Or maybe you wanted to be killed, because who stays with an abuser anyway?

See Also: Carl Brizzi: Prosecuting Battered Women

Indiana’s Bench

The Paradox of Recusal

Minnesota Supreme Court Allows Judge Timothy Blakely to Profit from His Fraudulent Earnings

In Texas and Florida–Court Ordered Exortion

Pennsylvania, Corruption, and Children, Just Like Florida

How Judges Set Up A System to Rig Cases for Fathers

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Note: Cross posted from Battered Mothers Rights – A Human Rights Issue.

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http://www.nbc-2.com/Global/story.asp?S=10697462

Joseph and Melissa Shook had been separated and a final mediation hearing for their divorce was scheduled for the 26th – two days after her disappearance.

Meanwhile, her van was located at the Alva residence, allegedly abandoned with the keys in the ashtray. 

The case was then turned over to detectives with the Lee County Sheriff’s Office Major Crimes Unit.

Air, K-9 and ground searches were coordinated with family and friends in attempts to locate Melissa over the following . . .[fill in the details… they tend to blur, one family after another…]

On July 29, Shook’s body was found in a shallow grave, just four blocks from the Fitch Avenue residence. 

Her hands were tied behind her back with approximately 10 feet of rope and her mouth was covered in duct tape. 

AND, obviously:

Wednesday, a local hardware store employee was contacted and verified the sale of a red handled shovel and approximately ten feet of rope. 

Thursday, an employee positively identified Joseph Shook as the person who purchased the items.

Around 6:00 p.m. on Thursday, 32-year-old Joseph Shook was located at local restaurant and taken into custody. 

He has been charged with second degree murder. 

Thursday evening Amy Davies, spokeswoman for Melissa Shook’s family said, “The family is relieved an arrest has been made, that justice has been served, and the family now has some closure.”

Davies said now the family’s main concentration is providing care for Shook’s three children.

Her parents knew something was funky about those text messages declaring she was going to break up with a boyfriend.  Her coworker heard her ask who wanted some lunch brought back, after dropping off child(ren) to the father….

On Wednesday, Melissa Shook’s mother took the stand to talk about texts message she received, supposedly from her daughter, the day she disappeared.

One said she and her boyfriend, Justin Castagner, were through.

Smith thought that was odd since she’d spoken to Melissa just a few hours earlier and there was no mention of any problems.

Castagner testified Tuesday that the couple had made plans for that night and she left him a note in his lunchbox that said, “I love you.”

Melissa’s father, Gary Esckilsen, also testified Melissa was happy with Castagner.

Melissa’s parents said she had a strong relationship with Castagner and texts saying she was going somewhere to get herself help didn’t make sense. They knew something was wrong.

A co-worker of Melissa Shook testified as well, saying he got a call from her when she was on her way to drop the baby off at Joe Shook’s home.

He said she asked if anyone in the office wanted her to bring back lunch – and never heard from her again.

 

Just to reiterate my point:  Mediation, frequent exchanges ordered.  Was there prior domestic violence?  WHY did she leave?  Was the risk known?  Should ALL women separating — not just ones experiencing abuse as the reason for separation — be afraid?

Or, should they learn to be cautious, period, and should the family law venue stop advising them to “just get along” for the sake of the kids, without regard to this possibility…

Was money a factor?  Who knows…:

……..

January 2009 – Akron, Ohio

Police say emotional distress led man to kill estranged wife

Mother’s death, impending divorce, lack of medication are factors in Lakemore killing 

By Phil Trexler
Beacon Journal staff writer
 

Published on Saturday, Jan 10, 2009 

LAKEMORE: His mother had died unexpectedly, he avoided the pills that helped combat his depression, and just this week, his wife left him. 

Daniel Tice’s emotions boiled over Thursday afternoon when his wife, Brandi, came to pick up their three children, a day after announcing her intention to divorce. 

Brandi Tice, 28, would never leave the Lakemore house. She died of a single gunshot wound to the head — a rifle shot that police say was fired by her estranged husband. 

About seven hours later, after keeping SWAT officers at bay with his 4-year-old son by his side, Daniel Tice was shot by police, struck by a 9 mm bullet that miraculously bounced off his forehead, sparing his life. 

Tice, 32, was to undergo surgery Friday for a fractured skull. He is expected to recover and be charged with murder. 

Daniel Tice admitted in conversations to family, friends and police that he killed his wife of eight years, shooting her once in the head with a .22-caliber rifle, police said. 

He blamed infidelity and divorce. 

”[Brandi Tice] told me before she
was wanting to leave him and I said be careful because of his mom dying, [Daniel] was bomb,” family friend Janice Wood told police in a taped call. ”I was afraid something would happen.’ 

Wood, a close friend of Tice’s late mother Diana, told police that Daniel Tice called her after the shooting. Around the same time, police were surrounding his home. 

”He said he killed his wife,” Wood said. ”He thought everybody was against him or hated him . . . he said, ‘I’m not coming out [of the house]. They’re going to have to kill me.’ ” 

Daniel Tice made a series of phone calls that afternoon, including one to a sister who came to the Tices’ ranch-style home on Martha Avenue shortly after 3 p.m., saw Brandi Tice’s body on the living room floor and fled outside. 

Tice’s brother-in-law struggled for the rifle outside the home, but the towering Daniel Tice won out, and retreated back inside. 

At one point, Tice stood guard by a window with his rifle in one hand and his son, Noah, in the other, police said. 

Shortly afterward, Tice’s daughters, Faith, 8, and Grace, 7, exited their school bus and were met by police, who rushed the girls away before they could go inside their home. 

Stressful standoff
 

For the next seven-plus hours, police took over Martha Avenue, trying to coax Tice into surrendering and hoping to avoid more bloodshed. Lakemore Mayor Michael Kolomichuk gave the order to use deadly force on Daniel Tice, if necessary. 

A small army of SWAT officers, talking by phone to Tice, crept closer over several hours — from the street, to the front door, to the living room and eventually to the basement stairs, where Tice paced below with his son. 

The silence was sometimes unnerving to police, who feared little Noah was dead. As the night dragged, they hadn’t heard from the child and Tice was talking to police in past tense about how much he loved his son. 

”We were worried that he had done something to Noah because he wouldn’t let us talk to the child,” Police Chief Kenneth Ray said. 

Police eventually disconnected a land line into the Tice home and with the help of prosecutors, they cut off Tice’s cell phone. Negotiators then moved inside the house to bring Tice a cell phone. 

By then, Tice had moved to the cover of the basement, at times hiding under the staircase. Metro SWAT members tossed a miniature camera to the basement, which gave them insights into Tice’s location. 

Around 10:40 p.m., SWAT snipers from the top of the steps could see Tice and his rifle leaning against a wall out of reach. They fired two nonlethal bean bags, hoping to knock him to the floor. The bean bags didn’t faze Tice, who then made a move for his rifle, police said. 

A sniper tried to fire his AR-15 assault rifle, but the trigger jammed. A second SWAT sniper twice fired his MP5 assault rifle. One shot missed; another struck Tice’s forehead, penetrating to the bone and bouncing off. 

Suspect interviewed
 

Police interviewed Daniel Tice at Akron City Hospital shortly after he was shot. 

”He confessed, that’s all he did,” Chief Ray said. ”He didn’t give a reason. He just said he did it.” 

Noah was reunited with his sisters. The children are staying with Brandi Tice’s mother, Sandra Fox, 53, in Green. 

”She was a good mother, she loved her kids so much,” said Brandi Tice’s uncle, Randy Renard. 

The Tices spent Christmas with Renard and other family members at Sandra Fox’s home. The get-together came four days after Daniel Tice’s mother died. 

Daniel Tice, who family said suffers from bipolar disorder, said little on Christmas Day. Family and police said Tice stopped taking his medication, which contributed to his erratic behavior. 

”They brought the kids over for Christmas and I already heard what he was going through with his mother,” Renard said. ”He come over and he didn’t talk for four hours. He just sat in the chair with a stare.” 

On Wednesday, Brandi Tice told her husband she wanted a divorce and was taking the children, Renard said. Police said the couple had a history of domestic squabbles, some of which ended with Daniel Tice’s arrest. 

Daniel Tice also told friends that his wife was carrying on an affair with one of his relatives. The couple married in 2000. 

On Thursday afternoon, Brandi Tice arrived at the Martha Avenue home, planning to take her daughters with her as they exited their school bus. 

Brandi Tice worked the past four years with Community Caregivers, a Hartville home health care provider. She visited three or four patients every day, helping them with health needs. 

Terry Smith, the company’s director, said Brandi Tice grew close with her patients, whom she would visit for more than two hours a day, passing the time sharing stories and proudly showing pictures of her children. 

She hoped one day to be a nurse to better provide for her family, he said. The company has set up a fund at all Huntington bank branches to help the Tice children. 

”Brandi was somebody who had been through some bumps in the road, some hard knocks,” Smith said. ”Yet she was someone who gave so much even though she had so little herself.” 


Phil Trexler can be reached at 330-996-3717 or ptrexler@thebeaconjournal.com.

LAKEMORE: His mother had died unexpectedly, he avoided the pills that helped combat his depression, and just this week, his wife left him.

 Daniel Tice’s emotions boiled over Thursday afternoon when his wife, Brandi, came to pick up their three children, a day after announcing her intention to divorce.
Brandi Tice, 28, would never leave the Lakemore house. She died of a single gunshot wound to the head ? a rifle shot that police say was fired by her estranged husband.
About seven (Akron Beacon Journal (OH), 1079 words.)

 

June 2009 — Autenreith – Pennsylvania:

Police rescued a 9-year-old boy who had been kidnapped by his father as a fatal gun battle broke out between the man and state troopers.

After arguing with his estranged wife during a custody exchange, Daniel Autenrieth kidnapped his son at gunpoint, then led police on a 40-mile high-speed chase that ended with a crash and an exchange of gunfire, state police commissioner Col. Frank Pawlowski said. Autenrieth and a state trooper were killed.

“I can’t begin to describe the hurt and sorrow being experienced by the Pennsylvania state police,” Pawlowski told a somber news conference at the Swiftwater barracks, the trooper’s home base. “What happened yesterday is nothing short of an American tragedy.”

 

September, 2009 (Labor Day) Minnesota:

Minn. officer reportedly killed with own gun (see video)

Holidays — family times for some — can be trouble hotspots for others.

Veteran North St. Paul police officer Richard Crittenden apparently was shot dead with his own gun during a violent struggle with a man who lunged at his estranged wife and the slain officer with a burning towel or rag.

He died saving someone else,” said a law enforcement source of Crittenden. The source, familiar with the ongoing investigation, offered the first detailed description of Monday morning’s chaotic scene.

Crittenden reportedly pushed the woman out of harm’s way but in the process left himself vulnerable for the man to ambush him, grab his handgun and shoot him, the source said.

A Maplewood police officer was slightly wounded but shot the suspect dead during an exchange of gunfire moments later inside the North St. Paul apartment in the 2200 block of Skillman Avenue.

The scenario, based on preliminary witness accounts from the injured female officer and the estranged wife, remains to be confirmed and is the subject of an investigation by the Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension.

But the setting pieced together so far by investigative sources shed light on the likely circumstances that led to the first shooting death of a police officer in the line of duty in North St. Paul’s 122-year history.

Investigators on Tuesday released little official information about the details surrounding the Labor Day shootings — including the names of the injured officer and slain suspect, who was identified by his estranged wife as Devon Dockery.

But reams of court papers released Tuesday on Dockery’s numerous run-ins with the law show a violent and troubled man.

Devon is a ticking time bomb ready to explode,” his estranged wife, Stacey Terry, wrote in filing for one of four orders of protection against him.

What would she know?  Is she an “expert”??  However, she got those protection orders. . . . . .

October 23, 2009 Atlanta, Georgia, Strube-Allen

(Isn’t this DV awareness month?)

Child of woman killed at Target in custody battle

Mother-in Law charged! 

In April, a toddler sat in the backseat as someone shot and killed his mother, Heather Allen Strube.  She had just gotten him from her estranged husband, his father, and hadn’t buckled her child  into his car seat yet.

Moments after Steven Strube left the Target parking lot on Scene Highway, his estranged wife was approached by a person wearing a black wig that looked like a mop. As Heather tried to get into her SUV, the disguised person shot her. Investigators found Carson holding his mother’s cellphone. His mom turned 25 years old just six days before her death on April 26.

Carson, who turned 2-years-old last month, has been in the care of Heather’s parents — Buddy and Mary Allen.

Family Photo A family snapshot from 2008 shows Heather Allen Strube, left, with son Carson. On April 26, Strube was shot and killed in the parking lot of a Snellville Target moments after a custody exchange.

Little Carson Luke Strube is now thriving in the care of his maternal grandparents. But his other grandmother, Joanna Renea Hayes, was charged this week with killing his mother, her daughter-in-law.

Hayes in jail facing charges of malice murder, felony murder, aggravated assault and possession of a firearm during the commission of a felony. Carson’s father, Steven Strube, is also in jail, following a probation violation from a 2008 conviction (for what??)

Hayes is now behind bars following her murder indictment on Wednesday. Police believe she is the one who donned a disguise and killed her daughter-in-law.

Sometimes it turns into a virtual tribal warfare, with in-laws and relatives involved….

November 30, 2009 (this one, barely cold…), New Jersey:

Police Search For Motive In Fatal N.J. Shooting

Paterson Father Allegedly Shot Estranged Wife, 2 Children

Reporting
Jay Dow

PATERSON, N.J. (CBS) ―Police are still trying to figure out what triggered Edelmiro Gonzalez to go on a shooting spree, killing his seven-year-old son, and injuring his wife and other son. They are recovering at St. Joseph’s hospital.

Police were looking for a motive Sunday in a triple shooting that left one boy dead, and his mother and brother fighting for their lives.

Detectives in Paterson said Edelmiro Gonzalez opened fire Saturday morning on his estranged wife and two young children.

“I don’t know how anybody could do something like that,” said resident Angie Rolon.

Investigators said 31-year old Johanna Gonzalez, who had been separated from her husband since September and had a restraining order against him, was in the process of dropping off their two sons at her mother’s apartment on Broadway. That’s when the 54-year-old father allegedly walked up to their vehicle, armed with two handguns.

“Her estranged husband came up to the vehicle, shot several times into the vehicle, at which time her two sons, Adrian and Eldryn exited the vehicle,” said Det Lt. Ray Humphrey.

Police said

Gonzalez actually then chased down his 7-year old son and shot him in the neck near the rear of the apartment building.
The boy was pronounced dead at the scene.
However, the ordeal didn’t end there. Police said Gonzalez went back to the street and chased down his estranged wife. That’s when off-duty Paterson Detective Lt. Washington Griffen, a 19-year veteran who was at a nearby McDonald’s drive-through with his son saw what was happening and intervened.

“He hollered out to the suspect, advised him he was a police officer, and to drop the weapon. There was an exchange of gunfire, and the suspect was shot twice,” Humphrey said.

Edelmiro Gonzalez died later at an area hospital. His elder son Edryn and the child’s mother Johanna remained in critical condition.

November 2009, Oregon?

Gunman kills estranged wife at Tualatin lab, injures two, kills self

By Bill Oram, The Oregonian

November 10, 2009, 8:49PM

TUALATIN — By late afternoon Tuesday, a lone state trooper guarded the front of a drug-testing clinic where a man with a rifle opened fire, killing his estranged wife and injuring two of her co-workers.

The gunman fired multiple shots inside Legacy MetroLab-Tualatin shortly before noon, said Tualatin Police Chief Kent Barker.   

The shooter was found dead at the scene, apparently of a self-inflicted gunshot wound, Barker said.

The dead woman was identified as Teresa Beiser, 36, of Gladstone.

A week ago, she filed for divorce from her husband of 15 years, Robert Beiser, 39, who worked as a car appraiser for Property Damage Appraisers in Lake Oswego and as an independent contractor for The Oregonian.

They had two children, a 14-year-old daughter and an 11-year-old son.

 That was “Beiser”.  Here is “Reiser”, July 2009 he admits guilt in exchange for plea-bargain.  Murder happened during an exchange of children.
 
 
 

Hans Reiser Admits to Murdering Nina Reiser, Pleads to Reduced Murder Sentence

Full story: Associated Content

Hans Reiser was sentenced to 15-years-to-life Friday in an Oakland, California, courtroom for the murder of Nina Reiser. Many believe that the sentence was too lenient, that prosecutors should have given Reiser more time on his sentence. Besides, Hans Reiser was convicted in April — and
convicted without the body of Nine Reiser. But Hans Reiser, a brilliant Linux guru, had held onto one piece of information about Nine Reiser throughout his trial, a trial throughout which he maintained his innocence. Hans Reiser knew where Nina Reiser was buried.

According to Wired, Hans Reiser led authorities to Nine Reiser’s body Monday in exchange for his prison sentence being reduced from a 25-years-to-life charge to 15-years-to-life charge. Prosecutors offered him the deal with the added stipulation that he waived his right to appeal the conviction. He had buried his wife just a short way from the house where he lived with his mother.

According to his confession, which was part of the plea deal, Hans Reiser killed his wife, Nina, on the afternoon of September 3, 2006. She had dropped off the couple’s two children for the Labor Day weekend. The two were going through a bitter divorce.

FYI:  All I googled was “estranged wife exchange of children”

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Did you enable any of these events?  I bet you’d say, Heck NO!

But, wait again (US residents) — do you pay taxes?  Well then, perhaps you did….

The Trap Door They Don’t Tell Divorcing Mothers, or separating-from-abuse partners about — almost ANYwhere…

Forcing the Connection through “Access Visitation Funding” and social policy closing the exit door.

Taxpayer funds enabling these events, sometimes, through federal grants to encourage contact with noncustodial “parents” (Dads).

Meanwhile, nationwide HHS-funded “Access/Visitation” funding encourages more, and more frequent, contact between children and noncustodial parent (if male), and advertises this through child support services (“OCSE”):

GEORGIA:

These services are offered at no cost to OCSS clients and include the following:

  • Coordination of visitations or parenting time
  • Mediation between the parents (non-legal, non-binding)
  • Written parenting plans
  • Group parenting education
  • Counseling on access issues 

Funding for all of these projects comes from grants from the Administration for Children and Families

MISSISSIPPI:

What is access and visitation?Mississippi’s Access and Visitation Program (MAV-P) is designed for noncustodial parents to have access to visit their children as specified in a court order or divorce decree

[[HUH?  The court order or decree ALREADY specifies this, so why do we need this program?]]

Assistance with voluntary agreements for visitation schedules is provided to parents who do not have a court order. 

 NOTE: Participation without a court order is strictly voluntary.  Both parents must agree to be involved.    

What are the goals for MAV-P?The ultimate goal is to afford services that improve the quality of life for separated families by providing noncustodial parents opportunities to participate in their children’s growth and development

[[If it didn’t have a noble-sounding goal like this, it might not have passed Congress or anywhere else.  Who wants to vote for, after-all, exchange-related gunshots, stabbings, and officers/bystanders-down headlines?  But if you read details of many of these articles above, it’s in there

“Improve the quality of life.”  How does this resemble “Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of Happiness”  eh? Come here.  We have federal grants to improve the quality of your life.  TRUST US…]]

Other goals include:

  • Encouraging family agreements through mediation; 
  • Providing parent education plans to enhance parenting skills;
  • Furnishing a safe, neutral facility for visitation, as needed;  i.e., [pushing Supervised Visitation]
  • Promoting compliance to the noncustodial parent’s court ordered support obligations;  [[Translation:  reducing support obligations in hope to bribe the other parent to better comply.  This is called “helping.” ]]
  • Aiding custodial parents in honoring court ordered visitations; and

Women are regularly jailed when they fail to comply with court ORDERS.  Recently, a 14 yr old young man in Michigan was jailed himself, briefly, for refusing to comply.  So what is this a sort of persuasive pleading session, or brainwashing?  The legal process provides for a contempt process.  When custodial parents are women, this is often enforced, regardless of consequences.  When they are men, a different standard seems to apply.

  • Working with fatherhood mentors and coaches through a Fragile Families Initiative Program.

Now WHY doesn’t that surprise me?

What are the benefits of the program?  The program benefits include: 

  • BOTH parents being involved in the development stages of the child’s life. 
  • BOTH parents providing emotional, medical, psychological and financial support. 
  • BOTH parents sharing in the child’s character and core values development.
  • BOTH parents agreeing on scheduling and time-sharing.

Potential side-effects, where an overentitled abuser,  a man off (or on) medication for depression, or someone not in control of his emotions is involved — death.  That’s a potential “benefit” in certain contexts.  But let’s not talk about that in THIS setting, OK?

Who is eligible to participate in MAV-P?Individuals interested in participating in MAV-P are not required to have a child support case or affiliation with the Mississippi Department of Human Services.  Paternity must be established for all cases.  Participants seeking assistance with supervised visitation must have a verified court order or divorce decree.  Finally, the custodial and noncustodial parents must agree on scheduled mediation, parent education, unsupervised or supervised visitations, as needed.     

(EVER tried to “agree” with an overentitled abuser?  See Randi’s article, above….)

What services are provided in MAV-P?

  • MEDIATION includes MAV-P staff working with both parents to develop a peaceful resolution to visitation disputes.  This process is a face-to-face interview and/or telephone sessions.
  • SUPERVISED VISITATION is scheduled for parents with legally established visitation directed by a court order or divorce decree.
  • EDUCATION is offered through parenting classes which address the basic needs of the child, money and stress management, child abuse, co-parenting and the concerns of the parents for their child(ren)’s well-being.

 Take time for THIS link: a “wiki-leak” an “mit” site.  I’m OUT of time for today….

There is some evidence that indicates that among fathers who visit their children,

fathers who do not pay their child support are more likely to have frequent contact with

their children (many on a daily basis) than fathers who pay their child support.

fathers’ rights groups would argue that spending time with one’s children (especially on

a daily basis) should be counted in terms of reducing that father’s financial obligation.

More generally, advocates of increasing parental responsibility would argue that it

is now time for the federal government to focus more attention on the “non-financial”

benefits associated with preserving the connection between noncustodial parents and their

children. Many policymakers and analysts maintain that a distinction must be made

between men who are “dead broke” and those who are “deadbeats.” They argue that the

federal government should help dead broke noncustodial fathers meet both their financial and emotional obligations to their children and vigorously enforce CSE laws against deadbeat parents.

  +/- $1/million/state/year for Access/Visitation grants (ongoing) can’t be all wrong, despite headlines, and despite reality of the consequences of frequent exchanges, more time, with resistant disgruntled fathers..

I may take up that document in a later post; it illustrates the system involved in these issues.

Randi, good writing, thank you –I find it pretty darn close to the reality.

Give us your huddled masses, your underage daughters: Oconto Co Wisconsin locks up Lorraine, . . .

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Earlier, I (and colleagues — see those buttons on my blogroll!) posted  on the 30-plus individuals involved in ONE mother reporting sexual molestation (and more) of her little girl in Wisconsin,  after CPS workers in 2 counties confirmed it. 

As reported Oct. 17th (DV awareness month, much?) on another blog (calling her a “teen” daughter was inaccurate.  Though the abuse started earlier, my understanding is, she is 11).  You should click on this link also — someone’s comment (wife of a police officer) is relating another account.

Wisconsin Mom Lorraine Tipton (Oconto County) is under fire because her teen daughter refuses to go on visitation with her abuser father, who makes her sleep on the floor and drives with her drunk in the car.  The father, Craig Hensberger, managed to convince the father’s rights judge, Judge David Miron, in power there, to threaten Lorraine with jail if her daughter does not go.  Her daughter was in the emergency room this past Thursday night, sick and frantic, and is currently home with her mom, medicated and scared.  The abuser’s mommy has not picked her up as she threatened to do.  So Lorraine faces jail on Monday.  Please say a prayer for her. 

Here’s a StopFamilyViolence release on it at “RandiJames.com”  File it under “a Thanksgiving to remember…”  I guess…

Daughter Won’t Visit Father? Jail Mommy!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 19, 2009

Contact:
Irene Weiser
Stop Family Violence
iw@stopfamilyviolence.org

WHY IS THIS MOTHER IN JAIL?

(Oconto Falls, WI) Today an Oconto County family court judge sentenced a mother to jail because she was unable to force her daughter to court mandated visitation with her abusive father. The daughter will be sent to foster care if she refuses to live with her father while the mother serves her sentence.
Circuit Judge David Miron sentenced Lorraine Tipton to 30 days in county jail for contempt of court, for her failure to follow the custody order requiring her daughter to live every other week with her father, Craig Hensberger.

 

NOTE:  Anyone see this work in reverse, father jailed for refusing visitation to mother?  If so, let me know — it’s my situation.  I miss my (daughters) too!  And if I file for a contempt (further upsetting someone) knowing the courts or enforcement will do nothing, leaving an angry male on the loose.  Same deal with “certifiably insane restraining orders.”  But there’s not a single qualm about restraining protective mothers.  Fork them little girls over, we want a fresh supply of young flesh, plus that adrenaline rush that comes from dominating a woman,  for those who feel entitled, or have become addicted to this need.

These are country-wide, generational nightmares.  When’s the wakeup call?  What will it take to stop it?

 

She’s terrified of going; she has night terrors and severe anxiety” says Tipton, who admits her daughter hasn’t visited with her father since August.
“I thought the court was supposed to look out for the best interests of the child, not the best interest of the father,” Tipton continued. “I thought once I got out of the abusive relationship everything would be fine. Instead, my abuser is continuing his abuse of me and my daughter with the help of the court.”

Over the course of their on and off 8 year relationship Hensberger was arrested three times for domestic violence and once for child abuse. Since their separation in 2005, Hensberger has been arrested twice for DWI, including once while the daughter was in the car.

Although the court has ordered Hensberger into alcohol treatment and ordered “absolute sobriety” when having visitation, the daughter claims he continues to drink to excess when she is visiting. The father told the court he had stopped drinking completely. The mother recently had a private investigator follow the father, who found that the father drank heavily on a night he was scheduled to have visitation. In court today the father admitted to his continued drinking; nonetheless the judge still sentenced the mother to jail.

 

Clearly this judge marches to the beat of a different drummer, or is it $$?  One wonders…



Hensberger achieved his local 15 minutes of fame in Oconto in March of this year, when he forced his daughter to enter 3 different fishing tournaments using the same fish so that he could collect the money – a story covered widely by local news. While the local media angle related to his transportation of fish against DNR regulations, Ms. Tipton’s concerns were for the well-being of her daughter, who was being taught to lie, cheat and steal by her father. Since this incident, the daughter’s relationship with the father has deteriorated, Tipton claims.
Additionally, the father’s employment is irregular, his house is in foreclosure and he currently resides with his mother. The daughter claims she is forced to sleep on the floor in the living room or in the unfinished basement since there is no bed or private space for her in the small 2 bedroom house.

“Sadly, this case typifies the problems we are seeing in Family Courts nationwide,” says Irene Weiser, executive director of StopFamilyViolence. org. “Family court judges are failing to recognize signs of abuse, and are placing children in harms way. {{I DISAGREE.  THEY SEE IT, BUT CHOOSE TO IGNORE IT.  The KEY TO THIS PROBLEM IS WHAT ARE THESE JUDGES PAYING GREATER HEED TO THAN THEIR JUDICIAL MANDATE HERE?}}  Even worse, instead of investigating the abuse allegations, they accuse the parent making the allegations of being vindictive and punish them for taking actions to protect their children. Often judges seem more concerned with maintaining the child’s relationship with the father than ensuring the child’s safety.”

 

Apparently this mother is now out of jail, and her daughter is back in a different kind of jail sentence, and we will just have to figure out how to grow up around all this.  And the reporters will continue wondering why we have so much rape, violence, and substance abuse, let alone, mental health problems in our country.  Gee, let’s take a wild, educated, guess…

Again, folks, this is not anomaly, some aberration, some weird exception in upstate (or wherever) Midwestern Dairy State (?) .  No, this is the pattern, this is the intent, and this is the practice in the family courts.  You are watching it.  Watch your headlines….

At the risk of hammering in this point of HOW it happens, and why (i.e., pointing to probable cause, not just effects), here’s an excerpt from the NAFCJ.net website as to this practice. 

Further down on this link the “Center for Policy Research” group is mentioned.  Check it out — it’s a key player, and sets a pattern for similar groups…

Meanwhile, I am saying my prayers for the Tipton family (and mine).

Child Support role is often a key factor.  Don’t know if it was this time, but t ypically it is.  A broke Mom can’t stick up so well for her rights. 

ANYTHING below this line is a quote from that NAFCJ site, though not so formatted, which ends my post today. 

One reason I understand this pattern to make sense is watching the pattern of abuse, individually, between the family of origin and my ex, and the role of finances, etc., develop over the years, and a progression to the careful vocabulary / jargon used to justify it. 

There is most definitely a system to the chaos. In fact, chaos is the desired status, from what I can see.  (See also Naomi Klein, “The Shock Doctrine,” referring to continental lockdown, etc.)  When people, or a nation, is in shock, it is vulnerable to dictatorship.  That’s why we must FIGHT LIKE HELL for Constitutional rights for all citizens:  male/female, young or old.  This is a language issue, and then practicing what the Constitution says, eliminating something else in one’s life, and forcing legislators, judges, attorneys, and lawyers to practice what they swore an oath to.  It requires checking public records and trying to stop kickbacks, racketeering, double-dipping, and so forth.  This is the price of freedom — vigilance.  And yes, it matters, if it’s not your immediate neighbor!

—————————————————————————

Read about Meyer Elkin’s  role in the AFCC is discussed  toward the bottom of their site  AFCC: History page  .  
Completely omitted from this AFCC history is the very relevant fact that Meyer Elkin also co-founded in 1985, the leading fathers rights group – Children’s Rights Council.  Study these people and their site carefully because it is the “blueprint” of how the courts are organized to rig cases for their paid-up allies.  Nobody has to slip an envelope full of cash into the pocket of a co-conspirators to rig court cases for these people.  It is all done for them by the government.  They get their bribes paid for them !

The  AFCC never mentions the multiple cross-affiliations between AFCC officials and the fathers rights group including Children’s Rights Council (CRC), founded by David Levy  in 1985, along with several other key AFCC people.  While this vital fact is no where to be found on any of their recent literature, it did appear in the early (pre-Interent) CRC hardcopy newsletters,  which NAFCJ possesses, and uses to discredit this group and the judges who collude with them.  Also in these older CRC newsletters was discussion of grants they received from HHS and the people who worked with them on those grants – people like incest promoters Richard Gardner and Warren Farrell.  CRC allies were put into high-level HHS-ACF position such David Gray Ross, as Commission for Child Support Enforcement (OCSE) -starting in 1993 through approx 1999..  Ross was a Maryland Judge, who people who knew him say was a dead-beat dad himself.  He spent his time as OCSE commissioner instituting regulations, programs and policies favorable to fathers and CRC.  He essentially set up OCSE to be a fathers rights child support avoidance and custody switching agencyThis perversion of  OCSE’s  agency’s original legislative mission continues to-date.  This is the reason why so many custodial mothers can’t collect on their child support arrears, while non-custodial mothers are hounded incessantly and even jailed for support obligations assessed beyond standard guide-lines and beyond their ability to pay.   Other evidence taken from HHS Inspector General Web site reveals even worse corruption at HHS-ACF/OCSE.

The AFCC claims their focus is on training judges, custody evaluators and mediators about custody and divorce issues. But in reality they are a father focused organization and promoting alienation theories to explain away family violence by men. In reality they act as a “clearinghouse” for organized case rigging.  They hold conferences about parental alienation but never mention the many professional experts who have condemned it as harmful to children or the link to incest promoter Richard GardnerTheir  scheme involves “recruiting” male litigants through fathers groups and federal HHS programs managed by the local child support agencies for program “services” which are ostensibly for helping non-custodial fathers get their visitation rights so they would have less incentive to default on child support obligations

{{COMMENT: This has absolutely been my experience, and the Center for Policy Research link, and many others, tend to verify it.  I pressed for child support, my kids were STOLEN, and this was rubberstamped.  Have barely seen them for dust since….}}

Instead the fathers get deals to have their support obligations closed and sent to a program paid attorney to litigant [“litigate”] for custody.  The judge hearing these cases proves [“provides”?] payments to the court-colluding fathers attorney and other supposedly “neutral” court evaluators.   None of this is disclosed to the targeted female litigant who sometimes is also ordered to pay the fees of these court professionals (e.g. illegal double billing).. 

The father is encouraged to file repeated motions (usually on frivolous claims of visitation denial or alienation) so the co-conspiring court professionals can get a steady stream of government payments.  {{GOT THAT??}} It appears the judge handling these cases gets a kickback from those being paid (with his approval) based on a few exposed examples.  This is what keeps their litigation game going and going.  They label it high-conflict bitter custody litigation to hide their own fraud.  The blame the mother for everything and keep her away from her children so she will be desperate to go back to court and get a chance to convince them of the truth (which of course they already know, and are exploiting perversely against her).

Basic Judicial ethics prohibits judges from belonging to organizations with people who appear before them in the court cases.  However, this doesn’t stop the crooked  AFCC affiliated judges from appointing Guardian at Litem (child’s attorneys) or court psychological evaluators who are AFCC members to the same cases which the AFCC member judge is handling.  Also the AFCC conducts joint conferences with the CRC – fathers rights group – usually on the subject of Parental Alienation – which they all know has been discredited as being not a valid method for use in court evaluations.

{{NOTE:  Like other organizations (me talking, again), AFCC may have some fine members.  I know some.  However, like our educational system, this system’s history and intent of the organization stands, and I stand by the above summary of it.}}

Other people on AFCC’s Board of Directors are many people closely associated with the Children’s Rights Council.  Their  favorite researcher  —  Sanford L. Braver, Ph.D. — was a recipient of a $10M federal grant.  Braver,  found, astoundingly, as a result of his study that after divorce, women do as well financially as men!   Bradford and many other purported “neutral” expert evaluators all work in concert behind the scenes to issue rubber-stamp anti-woman, pro-abusive father evaluations for the primary intent of deliberately covering up for abusive fathers (as a protection racket fueled by federal program graft).  

Another AFCC founding official is Jessica Pearson, President of Center for Policy Research of Denver, Colorado, which is a primary consultant to the Department of Health and Human Services – Administration for Children & Families (HHS-ACF) which includes OCSE.  Pearson/AFCC have been using their influence for many years to create pro-father programs and protocols which are steered to the pro-father court professionals who train others in the anti-mother evaluation tactics such as PAS.  She has been a frequent speaker at CRC and AFCC conferences and works closely with other fathers rights collaborators to promote PAS in government programs. 

 

The AFCC has many state chapters which conduct conferences, seminars and workshops on their “latest” practices for handling divorce, custody and related family & children litigation.  Most of the identified AFCC professional members routinely practice anti-woman, pro-abuser father PAS tactics against mothers who complain of child abuse by the father.  Most have a documented history of rubber-stamping every mother as an mentally unstable alienator who is the cause of all the problem and unfit to be around her children.  Of course, they know the truth of what they are really doing – is to trump up reasons to make the mother look bad so they can justify recommending sole custody a father accused of domestic violence, child abuse or support delinquencies
 
{{GOt those 3 avenues?  Domestic Violence, Child Abuse, Child Support arrears.  She protests, on behalf of the kids, she loses contact with them.  More business for the court.  Alternately, for a supervised visitation center, another “racket” as far as I am concerned.  LetsGetHonest speaking in that regard, not everyone agrees with me on that.  Jack Straton, Ph.D. and a few others seem to have already, though…”What’s Fair for Children of Abusive Men?”}}
 
This tactic actually works well for them, because so many people are inclined to believe that women can’t take the pressure of martial break-up they “go-crazy”, imagine or even fabricate problems in their attempt to “get-back’ at him.  These tactics are effective against even professional and prominent women.  The commonly heard “bitter custody dispute”  really means: “crazy lying accusatory woman” who drives the man to violence out of shear frustration (lets call this the Alec Baldwin excuse)

{{YOU WANT TO HELP KIDS?  TRACK THEM THAR FUNDS AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT….}}

###

Left from previous news release above…
StopFamilyViolence. org is a national activist organization that works to ensure safety, justice, accountability and healing for victims of family violence. Irene Weiser coordinates the Family Court Reform Coalition, a coalition of advocates, professionals and organizations formed in response to the national crisis in the custody court system, where all too often, judge’s order children to live with abusers and punish, silence, or jail the parent who tries to protect the children from harm.

Irene Weiser
Executive Director
StopFamilyViolence.org
331 W. 57th St #518
New York, NY 10019
iw@stopfamilyviolence.org 

 

OK, my commentary again.  See next post (11-17-09) for next installment in this fiasco (or, business as usual, depending on one’s perspective)….

This mother eventually DID go to jail for failing to force her underaged daughter to allow her father to force himself on her, drive drunk, and other forms of child abuse.  What a few judges with an agenda can do in a system that allows this . . . .  We were pissed off, appropriately.  I’m tired of that!  This mother was sentenced to jail, in 30-day stints, until her girl went back for more of the same (as I heard it). 

When the girl caved in, her mother was released.  This story is still unfolding. 

USA, folks, this is not Guantanamo, this is motherhood, USA.  And she wasn’t even a single parent, this time.  How’d you like to marry into that situation? 

Unjustice and abuse affects EVERYONE….

It affects the next generation, assuming they live that long. 

Over the past decade or so, researchers at McGill University in Montreal, led by Michael Meaney, have shown that affectionate mothering alters the expression of genes in animals, allowing them to dampen their physiological response to stress. These biological buffers are then passed on to the next generation: rodents and nonhuman primates biologically primed to handle stress tend to be more nurturing to their own offspring, Dr. Meaney and other researchers have found.

Now, for the first time, they have direct evidence that the same system is at work in humans. In a study of people who committed suicide published Sunday in the journal Nature Neuroscience, researchers in Montreal report that people who were abused or neglected as children showed genetic alterations that likely made them more biologically sensitive to stress.

[After Abuse, Changes in the Brain by BENEDICT CAREY

StopFamilyViolence.org, Feb. 23, 2009]

 

Ever seen an armed and dangerous “child custody dispute”? Do disputes shoot? Responding deputies blame shooting on the dispute, not the guntoting young Dad.

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It wasn’t his fault, or his hands on the gun(s), it was that dang “child custody dispute” arising, say responding deputies.  It was half the (unnamed) ex-girlfriend’s fault, for not forking over the 3-month old when told to.  

And although 2 of her male relatives got shot, stepping in to protect, it is the poor, accused, walking wounded MAN (he attempted suicide after shooting, fleeing, being chased by police, including in a helicopter (??), and shooting himself) who grabs the headlines.

 

 

Here’s another “GIVE ME THE KID — or ELSE!”  that took a slightly different turn.  This time the shooter (Dad) wounded some others immediately (as opposed to just threatening to cut the mother’s throat, being jailed for this– for “about 16 months” plus “several months”–then when getting out of jail, calling 911, ambushing and murdering a responding sheriff in cold blood, drawing PLENTY of responding law enforcement fire, resulting in his own death, at age I think 27.)  

 

The knife-wielding, sheriff-punching/murdering man was married, the handgun/rifle-toting younger man was not.  Then again, the knife-wielding sheriff (or was it police?)-punching man later, in his ambush DID have a rifle, and after shooting the sheriff in the back, then grabbed the wounded officer’s own handgun and shot him again.

Perhaps the reason we have a fatherhood crisis is that when young and self-centered men don’t get their way in a custody exchange, they go start incidents that involve violence, and sometimes escalate to suicide.  

The infant daughter ONE was fighting over was about 1-1/2 months, the other infant daughter the OTHER was shooting relatives who intervened over was only 3 months old.  One father is dead already, the other one may die.  Clearly the PRIMARY social crisis both daughters will be growing up with is not early childhood trauma or any other “adverse childhood event”, growing up with, is not violence but fatherlessness, although the latter little girl had at least a grandpa and an uncle who protected her Mama, which indicates bravery & commitment.  

On the other hand, at age 3 months and 1-1/2 years they are already contributing to society — in the nature of newspaper fodder.  Later, if either mother requires any government assistance whatsoever, they will also be contributing to future social science studies by being low income,  possbly participating in a “female-headed household,”  and if mothers don’t learn from these incidents and pick a better man next time, another run through the system.  

 

Man accused of attacking Valinda family may die from self-inflicted wounds.

 

After reading article, please tell me why the headline doesn’t say upfront:  “Poor, accused (POLICE-FLEEING) MAN  may die from an owie (After shooting 2 other men, he shot himself).”

OR, it could come out and tell the truth, & mention a few other participants:

Publish under:  “Family” section, subheading “Fathers giving orders” (excuse me, I meant)  “Fathers can be nurturers too….”

Script:

“Girl, give me our infant — or I’ll shoot!  Your relatives, and then, when confronted on this, myself,” says Chino man, and does so, too.

 

Posted: 09/29/2009 10:14:39 PM PDT

By James Wagner, Staff Writer

VALINDA – A Chino man who deputies say shot his estranged girlfriend’s relatives and then attempted suicide Monday night remained in critical condition Tuesday and could die.

 

Photo Gallery: Valinda Shootings  (I’ll spare us….)

“We’re not too sure if he’s gonna make it,” said Los Angeles County sheriff’s Sgt. Dwight Miley.

The alleged shooter, 21-year-old Bryan Ornelas, was taken to Citrus Valley Medical Center – Queen of the Valley Campus in West Covina on Monday night after the shootings.

A child custody dispute led Ornelas to shoot two members of his ex-girlfriend’s family, deputies said….

That’s a lie!  Can we start fining deputies for saying it and REPORTERS for writing, editors for publishing it, if there’s no disclaimer?  On this basis, she should have clawed out someone’s eyes or shot HIS family, if the dispute led to it.  I’ve been in a custody dispute for years, and I haven’t shot anyone.  How are law enforcement going to enforce if they keep putting this message out to the public — a custody dispute led him to do it. . . . . 

We have laws in this country.  One of them is against shooting people.  “The devil made me do it,” “God made me do it,”,” “unemployment made me do it,” “distress over the breakup of my marriage made me do it,” and “we had a custody dispute, which made me shoot someone,” are NOT legally valid excuses, and I would SO appreciate not having to read them in articles nationwide, year after year.

Then again, I’ve been in family law hearings, and you should hear the excuses for child-stealing and failure to work, and a few more.  These were received with straight faces by the personnel (and being in court, I didn’t gag til I read the transcript afterwards).  

If there is going to be a BIT of self-restraint in this country, ALL the ______ made me do it’s need to be flushed out of the headlines.  It’s ceased being amusing.  SELF-defense (not “ego-defense” or “pride-defense” or “my sense of masculinity-defense”) I believe in some circumstances MAY be acceptable reasons, although I have heard that women suffering long-term severe battering and abuse with no potential exit still go to death row, which is why movements to get justice for them have begun.  They typically get longer than men when sentenced.  

So a casual “A child custody dispute led Ornelas to shoot ANYONE is irrational and inappropriate.”

 

DEFINE “child custody dispute.”  As in, “I have the child in my arms (or house), therefore I have ‘custody’ “?  Or, there was a COURT order?  

If there was an order, it was either joint, or sole legal and joint or sole physical, and likely child support was involved as well.  If there was a COURT order, then it SHOULD specify visitation (of course, many of these are so  vague as to be unworkable, even when DV has been an issue, which we don’t know if it had, here.)

If there was a COURT order specific enough, then it may have been a child custody “dispute” but one party was wishing to comply and the other to deny its order.  So it is relevant.

Although I realize reporters can’t always find out (or reliably cite) who started the incident, in this field, a very heated field emotionally (and with lots — millions, nationwide — of $$ riding on it, highly entrenched interests — maybe not to the Ornelas/Rizo family, but nationwide), I find the over-use of domestic disputes “arising,” as if out of nowhere, and without cause, to be misleading.  Such things “arise” or “emerge” like the sun “rises” (or appears to).  There is generaly a reason for the season, or the emotions.  In the field of child CUSTODY, if there is something in the courts, than any dispute with that is a dispute with the courts, and not a private family matter.

 

Officers said  Ornelas shot himself in the head after a short pursuit.Ornelas and his ex-girlfriend have a three-month-old girl who was with her before the shooting, Miley said.

They are, or are not, living together?  Not shown – did she take off with the little girl after her relatives intervened?  (PROTECTIVE mother, eh?)  Apparently the little girl missed seeing someone shot, which was good, eh? But I’m sure the fatherhood folk will get her back with her Dad, if he survives.  After all, if not, he might shoot someone else.  Or, simply be an uninvolved Dad, not pay child support, and burden the state with welfare, if she can’t figure something else out for a livelihood.

The shooting occurred at 6:45 p.m. Monday in the 16200 block of Benwick Street in the unincorporated county area of Valinda.

Ornelas wanted to see the child but his ex-girlfriend didn’t want to give the baby to him, Miley said. Then a dispute arose.

 

Whose words is Miley reporting?  Why doesn’t he mention, “according to..” as he wasn’t actually there to see?  In courts, hearsay is hearsay.  Miley didn’t witness the dispute, so someone reported it to him.  

Apparently this WAS the dispute, and a common (and dangerous, sometimes) one it is, indeed.

AKA, baby as property.  Custody order was, or was not, in place?  I have an idea.  AT THE HOSPITALS, unmarried Moms are assigned sole custody which continues even during marriage til further notice or ABSOLUTE proof of neglect or abuse.  If a Dad is on the scene, participating, and proved this with DNA, let’s return to the days of “shotgun marriages” as it appears that the alternative is shotgun (or knife, or ball bat) “give me the kids.”

LOOK, LET’s CONSIDER ALTERNATIVES ON CHILDBIRTH & PARENTHOOD!

 It takes less than a half hour or so to start a baby, and around 9 months to finish the process.   MOTHERS, PHYSICALLY, ARE INNATELY MORE BONDED TO THEIR CHIDLREN BECAUSE THOSE KIDS ARE INSIDE THEM BEFORE BIRTH.  THEIR BODIES CHANGE REMARKABLY DURING PREGNANCY, AFFECTING MANY TIMES OTHER SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS (NOT ALWAYS, BUT USUALLY).  LABOR IS INDEED “LABOR.”  HAVING SEX IS, SUPPOSEDLY, MUTUALLY FUN, BUT LABOR TAKES HOURS (USUALLY) AND CAN INVOLVE HAVING PARTS OF A WOMAN’S BODY CUT (CAESARIAN) OR SNIPPED (EPISIOTOMY), SOMETIMES BY AN OVEREAGER MALE DOCTOR. (I thankfully avoided this, primarily by avoiding the hospital til right before birth, for one daughter, who was born very healthy).  Afterwards, if women nurse (“breast is best,” remember?  See my post, Australian authorities and Canadian trying to balance this with couples which split up so early).  It’s a radical readjustment of relationships, and I think a great one.  Therefore, to avoid shootings, abuse, threats to cut and 911 calls, kidnappings, and potential infanticide around exchanges, I have a simpler way (??).

UNMARRIED MOTHERS  — not their grandmas and not their boyfriends and not their aunts — GET CUSTODY UNLESS THEY ARE ON DRUGS or involved in gangs, etc.  As such, THEY are responsible unless rape (including statutory) or incest was a factor, and even then, she has the majority sayso because it’s HER BODY, and authorities go after the (____holes).   If stupidity on the woman’s part {{such as picking up, getting pregnant by, and then marrying an ex-Porn king on a rebound marriage at a bar, as happened earlier this year, resulting in her being beat to deathwith a ball bat on the baby’s 1st birthday, and the baby (GIRL) being, briefly, abducted}}was a factor, they still get custody and must learn to take care of their children somehow, and let’s give them the support.  If a young man, or middle-aged man, in this day and time is stupid or callous enough not to use a condom, when he’s uncommitted to the young (or older) woman, then he’s just not mature enough to handle children and can go practice first on small animals and at a job.

UNMARRIED MOTHERS WHO LATER MARRY — EITHER THE FATHER, OR SOMEONE ELSE — AUTOMATICALLY RETAIN CUSTODY.  IF THEY SCREW UP CRIMINALLY, THROW THE HEAVY HAND OF THE LAW AT THEM.  WITH THE MONEY SAVED FROM SOME OF THESE OTHER SELF-DEFEATING AND MUTUALLY-CONTRADICTORY GRANTS PROGRAMS, THIS COULD THEN BE POSSIBLE.  IT MIGHT EVEN HELP REDUCE THE NATIONAL DEBT.  PUT THE RESPONSIBILITY BACK ON THE INDIVIDUALS, AND THEIR IMMEDIATE ASSOCIATES.  BUT DURING MARRIAGE, AND IN LIGHT OF HOW FREQUENT DIVORCE IS, MOTHERS RETAIN SOLE LEGAL CUSTODY OF THEIR CHILDREN.  THE ALTERNATIVE (WHICH WE ARE NOW “IN”) IS INVESTING HEAVILY IN TRYING TO “BRIBE” MEN TO BECOME MORE RESPONSIBLE — AND IT AIN’T REALLY WORKING WITH THOSE FROM THE BRYAN ORNELAS’es to the JEFFREY LEVINGS (THROWING FUEL ON THE FIRE, the ends justify the means)– and we (yes, I said “we.”  Taxpayer funds are used through HHS programs driving the courts) AND THE “BRIBE” USED IS TWO-FFOLD:

1.  Money, in the form of at a minimum reduced child support payments.  The Bible, at a minimum (I cannot speak for th eKoran or any other writinges) says clearly that the love of money is the ROOT of all evil.  Any version of paying a man to “love” his own offspring is promoting this.  It also is disturbingly close to human trafficking, when child support is reduced in exchange for pushing or enabling men to spend more time with their kids than the existing laws otherwise would enable them.  

2. Children themselves.  This is why sites like “Courageouskids.net” have become necessary, and why some adult children SUE the participants in their traumatic childhood once they turn 18.  This is not the majority of divorcing families, but it IS a social problem.  And ONE case of child molestation or any form of abuse or neglect during exchange with a newly-enfranchised father is too much.  ONE is too much!  As to foster care, it’s not much better.  But I believe the children would be better off with a STABLE relationship with their mother, and particularly when such a mother has already separated because of violence to her by the Dad.  Or, violence to her children by the Dad.  

I am witness -and by far not the only one — that THE destabilizing effect in my post-separation life was the family law system, as tweaked by both the father (and friends) and — I learned, belatedly — a system of grants designed to tweak it in favor of noncustodial “parents,” but oddly enough, many, many of those programs have the word “fatherhood” in theiir titles, and even more in their texts, while the word “mothers” barely appears in:  Family Violence Prevention Fund (unless under a special category) and on whitehouse.gov.

I had restraining order on, and a healthy, solvent, contributing-t0-the community, kids actively involved in the community lifestyle.  This was attested to by social workers, parents of kids I taught, and colleagues, and by how the children were doing also.  The ONLY way to make all that evidence disappear was to haul me into family law, defending custody of the girls, fighting to assert joint legal, and in a venue famous (I later learned) for suppressing evidence in favor of psychobabble bearing no (and citing no) evidence, and from there repeatedly upending my own life, as mother leaving violence and trying to economically re-invent myself, and with sole physical custdoy of two daughters.  

WITH RESTRAINING ORDER OFF, AND “THE SKY’S THE LIMIT” AS TO INTERFERENCES WITH MY ABILITY TO WORK AND LIFE ON A WEEKLY AND MID-WEEKLY BASIS, YEAR ROUND, NO VACATION BREAKS AND NO SUMMER BREAKS (any and all contact was cause for arguing, debate, threat, and more and more involving law enforcement to adjudicate — and THEY refused to enforce clear orders, repeatedly, which is their job !! Even up to a custody order!) our daughters, have had the “crime pays — if you’re male” and the double standard passed on.  They learned firsthand the dangers of reporting abuse and leaving it.  They have learned it’s better to stuff it, internalize and blame themselves, or externalize and find someone to hate (better to join in with the gang rather than go against it).  Apart from, and to some extents DURING the initial restraining order, the only true peace we had was while it was on, and the caretaking parent could actually function as a normal human being and they could, by association feel fairly normal with their peers and in the activities at which they were prospering.

We are at a turning point as a society (always, but especially now, it seems).  Either women are full-status citizens or they are second-class citizens.  Now, women, including young women, have had a taste at full-status; the horse is out of the barn, “who let the dogs out?”

While we have not used that responsibly gender-wide, I think I could make a pretty good case that men haven’t either (see Holocaust, wars, weapons of mass destruction) etc.  And a woman who has a fighting chance off being treated like a human being without ALL of society, including relatives, religious institution(s), law (and its inforecment) and such in her society, MIGHT just fight rather than crumple.  We have internet and books, and courageous people like Ayaan Hirsi Ali have already spoken out, just as Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcom X did on racism.  Phyllis Chesler exists and has published, and I’m only naming a very few obviously.  

Now, either it can be guerilla warfare, plus some other forms of male on female terrorism in order to try to chase a bunch cats (ever done that?), or the males — including those in the mainstream media — can start to adjust.  When people separate, there are going to be custody disputes.  Either we could go back — and I do mean REgress — to some fundamentalist religions that endorse honor killings, genital mutilation, forced marriages, and whipping, stoning, or otherwise punishing women for showing signs of life, and a piece of skin, and raise generations of haters and women who cannot even trust in each other (polygamy is by definition something of a supply & demand artificially enforced situation) OR we can go the other direction, and stop men from trying to turn back the clock and “just deal” with women as BOTh citizens AND occasionally mothers.  To fully deal with this, the educational system (I’m talking scheduling more than content) needs to be loosened up and homeschooling de-stigmatized, allowing family members to actually get to know each other, and not feel like oddballs in the community because they are actively participating in it daytimes.  Don’t give me the Philipp Garridos for an example — he was under failed sex offender supervision.  For every such incident, there is at least an equal one that takes place IN schools, including shootings, sexual assaults and “worse,” dumbing down and slowing down.  Or failing to fully support those who need more help.  

One of the worst things I know — and I DO know it — is where males incite their associated females to hurt other women.  I’ve seen it (and been targeted, while with children in the home).  If there is no solidarity on basis of gender, and no fair legal protection, and faith communities are so economically codependent with their own males (plus the volunteer services of the wives and kids that come with them, AND at times the distressed single women or single mothers that come for social/emotional nurturing too, having no families of their own) they cannot confrton domestic violence and child abuse, or even confront a member on crimianl charges of any sort against family members — that’s terrible.  

This young woman’s relatives stood in for her, and took bullets.

Sorry to digress, but I am thinking this morning, about how ridiculous it is to read incident aftter incident, when I already know what resources are being poured — a tsunami, virtually – into agencies that are supposedlyo fixing the situation.  Maybe we ought to just let go of the paradigm of “fixing” families at all.  If they’re broken, let them be broken, but when anyone breaks a law, bring consequences, and bring it WITHOUT respect of gender, or where the pay is coming from.  (Yeah, in which utopia….)


Authorities aren’t sure how the shooting unfolded but according to family members, the girlfriend’s father, Jesus Rizo, and brother, also named Jesus Rizo, intervened in the dispute.

Now THAT is brave.  Or foolhardy.  But I might have too, being there.  

The ex-girlfriend’s 58-year-old father was shot in the forearm and her 16-year-old brother was wounded in the upper arm, authorities said.  {{IN OTHER WORDS, they’re not actually saying this young man Ornelas did it?  They “were shot” and “were wounded” (passive tense}}

Everyone else, including the infant, had an age, what was Mom’s?

The incident continued to a home in the 1600 block of Mullender Avenue, where authorities chased Ornelas.

Witnesses and authorities said Ornelas sped down the street in a car, ran to the back of the house, entered it and put a gun to his throat.

 

IN the house, shot in the head, or BEHIND the house, shot in the throat.  Only the EMTS know for sure.

Sounds like a combination of witnesses.  Someone saw him speeding down the street in a car.  Unless they were faster than him, someone ELSE saw him behind the house, and he did indeed shoot himself, with the same gun that shot the relatives.  Maybe details will come out, but probably not before some other young man or disgruntled ex tries to nab another young child somewhere in these United States, and pulls off another police-report-producing incident involving threats or weaponry.  

It was there that Ornelas attempted suicide, deputies said.

Staff Writer Ruby Gonzales contributed to this story.

james.wagner@sgvn.com

(626) 962-8811 ext. 2236

 

ANOTHER COMMENT:     NAMED people in this story:  4 males:  Sgt. Miley, Bryan Ornelas, Jesus Rizo & Jesus Rizo — all male.  We also have all of their ages except the Sgt’s.   

UNNAMED people in this story:  the only 2 females (not county Staff Writer Ruby Gonzales, who contributed) ”  the infant girl and her mother, who  was named, in order “ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, girlfriend, and ex-girlfriend.”  Neither her age nor name is not in there, or where she was during the shooting, although that the child wasn’t there seems clear.  She exists only as a man’s ex (a guntoting suicidal, orders-giving, retaliatory one, it seems).  NOTHING is said of her emotions or fears or reasons for declining to hand over a 3-month old baby.  (3 months, FYI, is pretty young.  That is a dependent child.  She was the mom….).  No reasons is given that she was not interviewed (as in, “could not be reached for comment” or “declined to comment.”    The story is only in the violence.  The headline emphasizes the man’s pain and suffering, and “self-inflicted wounds” — the word “wound” is a term used in warfare — the “wounded.”  This obscures the man’s violence.  Although someone (probably him) clearly DID shoot, because there are 2 relatives in the hospital; I tend to doubt it was the mother who fired the gun — the headline emphasizes that he was “Accused” of “attacking” family is very misleading.  He DID attack (shoot) and was chased for police by hit, to which he responded in an “adult” manner by fleeing.

I wonder, where was the girl’s MOTHER.  If an older female relative had been on the scene, might she have been able to talk down the young man?  She wa snot his “property” (i.e., sexually intimate) and she was not another male challenging the young man’s “property,” i.e., his little girl, and the order-giving status he held towards his “girlfriend.”  It seems to me that this situation might have done better with a voice of moderation around.  Then the armed officers show up (appropriately) and chase the guy.  

The account as given (he fled, and shot himself) It’s plausible.  It would fit a social pattern.  It may be true.  Point is, to the readers, it’s still hearsay, largely from the deputies.  No other witnesses are named in the article.

 

Now, this is the trouble with trying to find more information.  I googled “ornelas suicide” and unfortunately got this, a Mr. & Mrs. Ornelas

SANTA ANA – 3 Dead in Apparent Murder-Suicide

March 20, 1993,  

A 44-year-old Santa Ana man apparently killed his wife and then himself after fatally shooting a man he incorrectly suspected of having an affair with his wife, police said Friday.

Homicide detectives believe Jose Lopez Ornelas shot Albert Lujan Galindo, 30, outside Galindo’s apartment on East Pine Street early Thursday morning, Santa Ana Police Sgt. Art Echternacht said.   {{note age difference — jealousy. }}

A neighbor discovered Galindo lying in a pool of blood just outside his apartment about 5:30 a.m.

Police said Ornelas then apparently drove his wife, Diane, 45, into southern San Diego, where he apparently killed her before fatally shooting himself, Echternacht said.

Police said the case is still under investigation and would not elaborate on what linked Ornelas to the Galindo slaying.

San Diego police, who are investigating the apparent murder-suicide in the Otay Mesa area, discovered Jose and Diane Ornelas slumped over in his 1988 Chevrolet pickup truck about 10 a.m. Thursday.

The truck was first sighted on the side of Otay Mesa Road near Heritage Road about 8 a.m., police said. The engine was running, the hood was up and the lights and radio were on, according to San Diego Police Lt. Greg Clark.

There was a small handgun in Jose Ornelas’ right hand, police said.

Friends and neighbors told police that Diane Ornelas and Galindo drove together to their custodial jobs at UCI Medical Center in Orange, Echternacht said, and “all indications are that they were not romantically involved at all, but the husband apparently got jealous.

A hospital spokeswoman said Diane Ornelas and Galindo had worked at the hospital for about 10 years. Police said they do not know why Jose Ornelas may have been jealous.


AND, another Google result:

Yet another Ornelas was just going to work, in Las Vegas Area (I guess) and landed in the middle of a “strange crime spree blamed on alcohol & depressants” (2008).  It really was out there, too. . . .

Strange crime spree ends in suicide

Alcohol, anti-depressants** blamed in Sunday’s string of events

When Marcos Ornelas was walking to work Sunday, the waiter at Joe’s Crab Shack thought it was going to be another normal afternoon.

But as he got closer to the restaurant near the intersection of Flamingo Road and the 215 Beltway, he was greeted by dozens of police cars and a helicopter circling overhead.

(**as opposed to economy, despair over breakup of a marriage (or affair), jealousy, resentment at actually having been punished for previous criminal activity, or simply a custody exchange, or God, or the devil….)

 

More on the Bryan Ornelas case, topic of this post:  3 Hospitalized in Valinda Shooting

 

Benwick Street after “a dispute … regarding child custody,” said Sgt. Dwight Miley of the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department’s station in Industry.

Ornelas had been arguing with his ex-girlfriend when the two men tried to intervene, and Ornelas shot each man in the arm once with a handgun, Miley said.

 

Given how many sheriff-described “disputes” end up with people in the hospital, and sometimes dead or dying, I object to the word “dispute.”  If it is not actually a legal term, remind me to save up my money, attend one of the joint DV-training conferencees women like me are generally not allowed as speakers, and get my two bits in.  In addition to recommending early intervention and immediate prosecution of any felony (or misdemeanor) domestic VIOLENCE (not “abuse”) incidents, officers should be fined 1% of their weekly paycheck every time they (post-shooting) say the word “dispute” in connection with the incident.  This should go into a pro bono legal fund for women fleeing family violence who are bounced into the family law arena.  This will not actually equal the federal funding to states to help noncustodial fathers, BUT it would be at least a drop in the bucket.  

The sergeant said Ornelas and the woman (aka “girlfriend” aka. “mother”) were the parents of the infant at the center of the dispute.  A Sheriff’s Department helicopter hovered overhead as Ornelas fled the home in a vehicle with patrol cars in pursuit.

 

A 16 yr old is a man…  A mother is a girl.  However the 21-year old Ornelas is behaving kind of immature here, like a baby (only armed).

Ornelas led deputies to another home in the 1600 block of Mullender Avenue, where he ran inside and shot himself with a rifle, authorities said. Ornelas had been at that home earlier in the day and was known to the residents there, Miley said.

{{which may explain the “witnesses and authorities said.”  }}

{{This young man seems to have been pretty adept with firearms (if not emotionally mature) I would recommend that, should he survive,  — and it will come, believe me, the young mother get some weapons training, and the father be informed that she has it,  for the next court-ordered custody exchange.   After all, she may or may not qualify for federally- or state-funded supervised visitation, but even their own materials admit that women are still sometimes shot, and killed, outside such exchanges.  Her male relatives may not want to put their bodies inbetween for target practice next time.  She will be smart enough, soon enough, to realize that if a MOTHER uses a gun in an illegal manner against a father, she’s going down for more years than he is.  And the female prisons, I heard, are not so overcrowded as the male.}}    Perhaps mace, or a Taser, or pepper spray, might be a deterrent for such a father, but I don’t know offhand.  He doesn’t seem like the law-abiding, in control of his emotions.}}

 

ANOMALIES:

Like the incident (a month or so earlier, post) in Minnesota, I’m wondering how the man could, being chased by police, pull off a suicide so fast.  I don’t handle guns, so I don’t know, BUT the first account says gun to his throat (a rifle?) and out back, not inside.  He was carrying a handgun and rifle both?  He was being pursued by police AND helicopter, but chose the rifle, not the handgun, to commit suicide with??  If he was going to do this, why not do it at the scene?  Who actually witnessed the last shot?

I can see why people are tempted to leave answering such questions up to the professionals, or local communities.  For one, with the internet, and nationwide coverage (of sorts), incidents like these seem to arise with breakneck speed.    Are they copycats?  Are these public messages to women/mothers as a whole that, “don’t even THINK about confronting me, or this could be you”?

 

Even if no action is taken, it is important, I feel, to think critically about what one reads.  I am uncomfortable (extremely) when the only source cited in a news report are the deputies, especially when an incident involves blood, hospitals, or any crime scene clean-up.

 

 

Written by Let's Get Honest|She Looks It Up

October 1, 2009 at 11:01 AM

Mixed Sentiments — from a different battlefield — on the Passing of Senator Ted Kennedy, who valiantly fought: Brain Cancer, for Not Leaving Children Behind, and for Caring for the nation’s Health.

with 2 comments

AUGUST 26, 2009

 

I rarely sleep, and as the TV flashed with news of this lion of a personality, and carrier of the family name, it coincided unfortunately with the third year since I lost my daughters to felony child-stealing, in retaliation for reporting, in seeking asylum from domestic violence.

I struggle with respecting this event, with discomfort about our nations hyper-respect of public figures.  Senator Ted apparently was a womanizer as well as struggled with alcohol, and eventually married a woman 22 years his junior; do his many public accomplishments compensate, is this just the way of “famous men” that change society?

He lost two brothers to assassination, assassinations that affected our country.

I am currently reviewing the work of a young woman, local, that lost a sister and a brother to murder, for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and probably also wrong color.  She too is near the end of her dynasty — both parents gone.  Her mother took the loss of two children hard, and also was fighting cancer.  Her older sister was seen talking to some people in a van.  She was found later, hog-tied, stabbed many times, raped many times, and thrown out like trash in a dumpster.  Her SISTER.  Her brother was stabbed in the heart for confronting someone trailing other women.  Why do I run across people like this?  I don’t know, except I don’t live in a castle or gated community, and I find people’s stories interesting.  I have been cut out of my own daughters’ stories by a  top-heavy, supposedly well-intentioned system that knew that two bright girls were not going to escape its radar or grasp, and that mother must therefore disappear.

Unlike me, she figured out FAST that a system was not going to protect her own two sons, and found a trusted friend to become guardian, so at least she can see them.  Like others, for a fee.  Like me, she wants some version of the truth to survive for her children.


We are allowed to give birth, but too often, not to also speak.

 

How famous is Senator Ted, then, and how much more important his story, and his contributions?  Should I mourn him more than others?  And yet it’s clear he worked hard, campaigned hard, pushed initiatives through, and changed our society.  How can I handle this today, when I shouldn’t be blogging but doing something more self-preserving.  Do I share the national regret and awe?  

Quite honestly, no, but I mean no harm in saying so.

How long can I afford to pause and commemorate? 

Probably shouldn’t have today, but i did.

 

it is easy and common to pick heroes and praise them, and transfer parts of our identity to heroes who gave their lives in service, and forget the non-heroes, some of whom I commemorate below.

I am not sure where Senator Ted falls in this mix.  I think the metaphor of this book has come to the rescue.  It seems both to symbolize the federalism and the poverty, and the reporting of it that go together in the topic “FAMOUS.”  

 

 

Let us Now Praise Famous Men

The book Let Us Now Praise Famous Men grew out of an assignment the two men accepted in 1936 to produce a magazine article on the conditions among white sharecropper families in the U.S. South. It was the time of U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt‘s “New Deal programs designed to help the poorest segments of the society. Agee and Evans spent eight weeks that summer researching their assignment, mainly among three white sharecropping families mired in desperate poverty. They returned with Evans’ portfolio of stark images—of families with gaunt faces, adults and children huddled in bare shacks before dusty yards in the Depression-era nowhere of the deep south—and Agee’s detailed notes.

As he remarks in the book’s preface, the original assignment was to produce a “photographic and verbal record of the daily living and environment of an average white family of tenant farmers.” However, as the Literary Encyclopedia points out, “Agee ultimately conceived of the project as a work of several volumes to be entitled Three Tenant Families,though only the first volume, Let Us Now Praise Famous Men, was ever written.” Agee considered that the larger work, though based in journalism, would be “an independent inquiry into certain normal predicaments of human divinity.

 

The resulting single book is a critically praised opus that leapt over the traditional forms and limitations of journalism of the time. By combining factual reportage with passages of literary complexity and poetic beauty, Agee presented a complete picture, an accurate, minutely detailed report of what he had seen coupled with insight into his feelings about the experience and the difficulties of capturing it for a broad audience. In doing so, he created an enduring portrait of a nearly invisible segment of the American population.

 

My father had a love, and some ear, for poetry, and always claimed he could hear the rhythm of the Lord’s Prayer (or possibly it was the 23rd psalm) in Agee’s “Knoxville, Summer of 1915.”  Ever the critic (and unable to carry a tune himself) he tried to talk me out of both music, and Christianity (unsuccessful in both cases), and we had something of a truce.  I do not have, emotionally or socially, a family at this point; I have made my own in life, and as to the one with whom I share DNA, it’s the two daughters only (now gone) and the deceased Dad, and my memories of him will have to do.  . . .  

So perhaps the Agee reference, the federalism, and my wish to point out, that deep poverty and distress still exist, sometimes still caused by either the basic human lusts, or the governmental god-like posturing, will make up for my mixed sense of duty in perhaps failure to “note” with enough awe, the passing of another member of the Kennedy dynasty, regardless of on how wide a screen and with how broad a stroke for how long, he painted his visions of what the United States should be.  For one, as a woman, a mother, and a Christian, I do not share his multiple visions on how to help the poor and educate America.  I do not think this is the original American vision, a totalitarian welfare state, an inverted pyramid building the 21st century equivalent of pyramids of social structure.  I think this “nation/religion” is the way of Egypt, milennia ago.  No, I do not.  But still, Let us Now Praise Famous Men.  

 

One of the follies of humanity is poor choice of who to praise and with whom to associate — famous  preempts worthy. 

 

Throughout the book, Agee and Evans use pseudonyms to obscure the identity of the three tenant farmer families. This convention is retained in the follow-up book And Their Children After Them

lthough Agee’s and Evans’ work was never published as the intended magazine article, their work has endured in the form in which it finally emerged, a lengthy, highly original book. Agee’s text is part ethnography, part cultural anthropological study, and part novelistic, poetic narrative set in the shacks and fields of Alabama. Evans’ black-and-white photographs, starkly real but also matching the grand poetry of the text, are included as a portfolio, without comment, in the book.

Although at its heart a story of the three families, the Gudgers, Woods, and Ricketts (pseudonyms for the Burroughs, Tengles and Fields) the book is also a meditation on reporting and intrusion, on observing and interfering with subjects, sufficient to occupy any student of anthropology, journalism, or, for that matter, revolution.

 

 

THE ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF SENATOR EDWARD M. KENNEDY 1962-2009

August 26, 2009

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

 

Senator Kennedy has authored more than 2,500 bills throughout his career in the United States Senate.  Of those bills, several hundred have become Public Law.  Attached is a sample of some of those laws, which have made a significant difference in the quality of life for the American people. Download the PDF document of his accomplishments here.

 

Reflections:

Who old enough does not remember? the assassinations, the plane crash, and now we have newsbroadcasts, and a nation commemorating the legacy of this Senator from Massachusetts.  It is healing to commemorate, with respect, men who have changed the face of the nation.  Last night, I watched on TV, Charlie Rose seeking to know this man through former friends and writers, and also speaking with the Senator also.  As I saw the shock of white hair, the broad, broad charismatic smile, and listened to Senator Kennedy promote Education and Health Care, his two major federal programs and passions, I had a hard time.  I heard the Senator talk about how America cannot be left behind in globalization and MUST give EVERY child the capacity to succeed in a global economy.

 

I thought, where are the memorials for the people who were not born into Kennedy family, but still died?  

Viet Nam Memorial

By thee have I run through a troop and leapt over a wall

Psalm 18:

1 I will love thee, O LORD, my strength.

2 The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.

3 I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.

4 The sorrows of death compassed me, and the floods of ungodly men made me afraid.

5 The sorrows of hell compassed me about: the snares of death prevented me.

6 In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.

. . . . 

With the merciful thou wilt shew thyself merciful; with an upright man thou wilt shew thyself upright;

26 With the pure thou wilt shew thyself pure; and with the froward thou wilt shew thyself froward.

27 For thou wilt save the afflicted people; but wilt bring down high looks.

28 For thou wilt light my candle: the LORD my God will enlighten my darkness.

29 For by thee I have run through a troop; and by my God have I leaped over a wall.

30 As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.

31 For who is God save the LORD? or who is a rock save our God?

32 It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect.

33 He maketh my feet like hinds’ feet, and setteth me upon my high places.

34 He teacheth my hands to war, so that a bow of steel is broken by mine arms.

35 Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great.

36 Thou hast enlarged my steps under me, that my feet did not slip

 

WHO MOURNS THESE?

 

Deborah Ross (51) and Ersie Charles Everette (58)

2009 Tried to break up, Shot to death at work, in a Tollbooth, and her male friend in a parking lot, ambushed

Cross said the shootings appeared to stem from a domestic dispute as Burris and Deborah Ross, 51, a California Department of Transportation toll booth collector, had recently broken up.

“He clearly had no regard for human life, so we wanted to apprehend him as soon as possible,” Cross said. “We had authorities all throughout Northern California trying to find this guy.”

Burris apparently opened fire with a shotgun shortly before 6 p.m. Tuesday, killing Ross and Ersie Charles Everette, 58, of San Leandro, Calif., who was sitting in his truck in the toll plaza parking lot.

Ross and Burris had shared a house in Richmond, and neighbors said the two had been having financial problems. Richmond Police were called to the house on Saturday, police spokeswoman Sgt. Bisa French said Wednesday. It is unknown what the nature of the call was as no report was taken, French said.

Although their relationship had just ended, Burris was aware of Everette, who drove Ross to work Tuesday, Cross said.

“Somehow, he knew the guy was there at her job, there’s a connection between the two victims, but what that relationship is, we don’t know at this time,” Cross said.

Everette, known as “Chuck” by those who knew him, was a longtime, well-respected bus driver for Golden Gate Transit who had received numerous accolades, spokeswoman Mary Currie said Wednesday.

“He was a likable guy, a good guy,” Currie said. “Passengers liked him. His co-workers liked him.”

Tuesday’s shootings occurred at the bridge over the northern portion of San Francisco Bay that connects well-to-do Marin County with Richmond and other East Bay suburbs. Witnesses said a man used the butt of a shotgun to shatter the window of the No. 3 toll booth, then fired at least three times inside, stunning rush-hour commuters in the westbound lanes before fleeing in the van owned by Western Eagle Shuttle of San Rafael, Calif.

Officers found Ross’ body inside the booth, while Everette was discovered slumped over in a white pickup truck in a nearby parking lot.

> > > 

2009/2008  Torres, Catalina (44) & Eustacio (41),  Sgt. Paul Starzyk

Brother, Sister, both domestic violence workers, both murdered by an “ex”

 

According to the San Francisco chronicle, on the evening of July 19th, Eustacio Torres was shot by his ex-girlfriend at a converted garage that Torres was renovating. Torres and his girlfriend, Bernadette Agustin, met about five years ago when Torres was renovating her house. They became partners in that business for a few years. The market started to tumble downhill, and their buildings went into foreclosure causing them to lose money. This caused tension between the couple. After some time, their relationship started to become difficult for both of them. Torres realized that Agustin was dangerous; however he never got a restraining order against her. On the evening on July 19th Agustin went to meet Torres at the garage. Prior to this incident she bought a pistol. She brought shot him with it.

About a year ago Eustacio Torres’ sister, Catalina Torres, a volunteer for a battered women’s group, was shot and killed inside of her Martinez apartment while trying to protect one of her customers in a beauty salon.

Her customer’s husband, Felix Sandoval, entered the beauty salon raged at his wife who had a restraining order against him. Catalina and her customer jetted out of the beauty salon. Sandoval couldn’t find his wife so he followed Torres to her apartment and shot her in the head, simply because she was affiliated with the incident. He then shot at the door and hit Sgt. Paul Starzyk. He still busted in and shot and killed Sandoval.

Since these two murders are a year apart and both victims come from the same family, the Torres family is suffering deeply from these two tragedies.

It is sad, yet ironic how both tragedies happened in the way that they did. They were related and both incidents happened a year apart. Considering the fact that Eustacio, Catalina’s brother had to help bury her, it is sad that he got killed also. They both worked together in a domestic violence group together. Now the Torres family has lost two of their family members to similar incidents.

MARTINEZ — Last September, Catalina Torres’ family struggled to find answers about why she died at the hands of an estranged in-law who also killed a Martinez police sergeant.

> > >

Less than a year later, they find themselves again trying to find clarity after the slaying late last month of her brother, Eustacio Torres, by an estranged girlfriend in San Diego.

According to San Diego police, the bodies of Eustacio Torres, 41, and Bernadette Agustin, 52, were discovered by his nephew — Catalina Torres’ son — in the early-morning hours of July 20 at his home on in the Paradise Hills area. Investigators believe that Agustin shot Eustacio Torres and herself.

Eustacio Torres’ death follows the slaying of his sister Sept. 6, 2008, by Felix Sandoval. Sandoval burst into a Martinez beauty salon looking for his wife. She was not there, and he confronted her cousin, Catalina Torres, at a nearby apartment. While she shielded one of the home’s residents, Sandoval shot and killed her.

Sandoval then shot at police approaching the apartment, mortally wounding Sgt. Paul Starzyk. But Starzyk’s final act was to kill Sandoval, saving the others in the apartment.

Sandoval was in the midst of a divorce from his wife, who had filed a restraining order against him, and Catalina Torres had been supporting her separation from him. In San Diego, Eustacio Torres was severing ties with Agustin. Although the Torres family has experienced two devastating losses, Noe Torres, youngest of the six siblings, said they do not feel like victims.

A memorial fund has been established in Eustacio Torres’ name. Donations can be made at any Wells Fargo Bank branch to the account number 2629533015.

 

Since these two murders are a year apart and both victims come from the same family, the Torres family is suffering deeply from these two tragedies.
It is sad, yet ironic how both tragedies happened in the way that they did. They were related and both incidents happened a year apart. Considering the fact that Eustacio, Catalina’s brother had to help bury her, it is sad that he got killed also. They both worked together in a domestic violence group together. Now the Torres family has lost two of their family members to similar incidents.

 

2008 account “Details emerge in Martinez triple shooting:

Catalina Torres survived domestic abuse and became a strong advocate for a nonprofit group that helps victims of domestic violence.

“She was a battered woman who became an advocate,” said Maria Preciado, Torres’ close friend. “She took negative experiences and turned them into positive things.”

In a tragic turn of events, the 44-year-old STAND Against Domestic Violence volunteer lost her life Saturday, an innocent bystander in a deadly domestic disturbance involving her cousin’s estranged husband.

Officers were called to the salon about 11:35 a.m. Saturday on reports of a domestic disturbance. Sandoval broke the salon’s front window with his hand and entered holding a gun, police said. According to witnesses, he was looking for his estranged wife, salon owner Margarita Sandoval.

Martinez police Chief Tom Simonetti said Felix Sandoval, who was waving the gun around, never fired a shot in the salon, but confronted his teenage daughter in the parking lot behind the salon and told her he was going to kill his wife and his other children. Sandoval ran to an upstairs apartment on the opposite side of the parking lot where Torres, an unidentified woman and three of Sandoval’s children were, the chief said.

 

Elnora Caldwell, 46

She asked for protection

 

SEPTEMBER 2008, This beautiful woman Tried to Leave, Died, Stabbed, on side of the road

Contra Costa sheriff building death penalty argument in wife stabbing

 

 

Investigators said Monday that they are trying to build a death penalty case against an Oakland man who allegedly stabbed his estranged wife near the Caldecott Tunnel and pushed her out of his pickup in front of stunned motorists. Robert Woods, a 47-year-old former maintenance worker for the city of Oakland, was arrested on suspicion of murdering Elnora Caldwell, 46. Caldwellobtained a restraining order against Woods earlier this year, saying she was afraid of him. She was stabbed to death Saturday night and pushed from the pickup on a stretch of Fish Ranch Road that passes over the east end of the Caldecott Tunnel. ..Caldwell’s family members believe she was kidnapped Saturday from her Oakland home, perhaps by someone other than Woods.

Police and witnesses said Woods went to Caldwell’s Oakland apartment and washed up, then turned himself in to an Oakland police officer in the area. More than a dozen motorists stopped to help Caldwell. Some gave her chest compressions and others jotted down the license plate number of the GMC pickup. Alameda County Superior Court records show that Caldwell applied for a domestic violence restraining order against Woods on April 29, and that the order was to be active until 2013. 

Caldwell wrote in her application for the restraining order that Woods had shoved her after showing up unannounced at the Nordstrom department store in San Francisco where she worked and accusing her of infidelity. In 2007, she wrote, Woods pulled her hair during an argument in his truck, forcing her to flee and take a taxi home.

In a third incident, Caldwell said, her husband broke a glass sliding door at her apartment.

It has to stop,” Caldwell wrote of alleged verbal and physical abuse.

Court records show that Woods was fired from his job as a maintenance worker for the city of Oakland last year for allegedly doing drugs and threatening to kill co-workers.

? ? ? 

 

Domestic Violence Murder/Suicides – Here’s a summary:

In the U.S., estimates from the Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) are that more than three women a day are killed by their intimate partners. Women are killed by intimate partners more often than by another acquaintance of stranger.Most of these murders involved were preceded by physical and psychological abuse.

Outside the domestic realm, males are killed much more often than females; they are killed most often in fights with other men.

According to the FBI’s Uniform Crime Reports, 1,055 women and 287 men were murdered by their intimate partners in 2005. These figures are striking, because in the past, in the 1970s and earlier, the numbers of men and women so victimized were about even. In other words, there has been a significant decline in the numbers of men killed by their partners but not for women.

The number of men who were murdered by intimates dropped by 75% between 1976 and 2005 (BJS). The number of black females murdered in this time has declined but the number of white females murdered has dropped only by 6%. Statistics Canada (1998, 2005), similarly, reveals a sharp decline in the numbers of male domestic homicide victims but not of female victims of homicide.

The reason that women are resorting less to murder of their partners is most likely because many of these women were battered women who felt trapped in a dangerous situation. Today, the presence of violence prevention programming and the availability of shelters are paving the way to other options. The fact that domestic violence services apparently are saving the lives of more men than women is a positive, though unintended consequence of the women’s shelter movement (see van Wormer and Bartollas, 2007).

 

 Nina Reiser (31), mother of 2.  No asylum in America

2006, Russian-born Oby/Gyn tries to divorce Hans Reiser (WIKIPEDIA) but disappears on exchange of children

Nina Reiser Hans Reiser

Hans Reiser Admits to Murdering Nina Reiser, Pleads to Reduced 

In 1998, while working in Saint Petersburg, Russia, Hans Reiser reportedly selected from a mail-order bride catalogue,[9] and subsequently married, Nina Sharanova (Нина Шаранова), a Russian-born and trained obstetrician and gynecologist[10] who was studying to become an American licensed OB/GYN. Reiser himself stated that he met Nina when he went to a date set up by a Russian dating service; Nina had come along to translate for his date. . . . 

In May, Nina Reiser alleged in court filings that her husband had failed to pay 50 percent medical expenses and childcare expenses as ordered by a judge and was in arrears for more than $12,000. [13]

Recovery of Nina’s body and sentencing

According to officials, prosecutors agreed to a deal whereby Reiser would reveal the location of his wife’s body in exchange for pleading guilty to second-degree murder. The deal was made with the agreement of Nina’s family, but was subject to final approval by Judge Goodman.[45][46] On Monday, July 7, 2008, Reiser led police to Nina’s body buried in the Oakland hills. Reiser’s attorney, William DuBois, who was handcuffed to Reiser and accompanied by a heavy police guard to the site, said that the remains were found buried on the side of a hill between Redwood Regional Park and the Huckleberry Botanic Regional Preserve, less than half a mile (< 800 m) from the home on Exeter Drive where Reiser lived with his mother, and where Nina Reiser was last seen alive on 3 September 20

 

Anastasia Melnitchenko, 22, unmarried, No asylum in America 

2005 Tried to break up, stalked; a clearly preventable homicide — her body found in car trunk

Body-in-trunk suspect got lots of counseling

‘Doing satisfactorily’ after 6 months of weekly sessions

He was fulfilling that obligation Oct. 19, two days before Melnitchenko disappeared, when he attended a weekly session of a program in Richmond run by Priority Male Center for Positive Peaceful Living

Jaxon Van Derbeken, Chronicle Staff Writer

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

The El Sobrante man charged with murdering a woman he had repeatedly terrorized attended a two-hour counseling session for domestic violence offenders just days before the slaying, authorities said Tuesday.

McAlpin was on probation stemming from eight felony convictions in two separate cases for stalking, threatening and attacking Melnitchenko on several occasions from 2001 to 2004. Part of his sentence in the most recent case was that he attend a yearlong domestic violence prevention program.

THE BEST WAY TO “PREVENT” VIOLENCE IS TO SEND A CLEAR MESSAGE TO GIVE NO QUARTER TO PERPERTRATORS.  MCALPIN WAS A COCKY OVERENTITLED YOUNG MAN WITH NO RESPECT FOR THE WOMAN, OR THE LAW — AND FROM THE STORY, IT’S CLEAR WHY HE HAD NO REASON TO RESPECT THE LAW, TOO.  I DNR BUT I SUSPECT HE WAS WHITE.  I DON’T THINK THIS POOR WOMAN EVER EVEN LIVED WITH HIM.  THEY DATED BRIEFLY.  SHE DIED.  THE STORY OF HER DEATH INTERSECTS WITH THE STORY OF A JUDGE WITH A MISSION; I MAY TELL IT ANOTHER TIME.  THIS EVENT INTERSECTS WITH MY ATTEMPTS TO GET HELP IN 2005, THE SAME YEAR. I REMEMBER TRYING TO TELL MY FAMILY THAT THIS STALKING, THESE INDICATORS, SPELLED TROUBLE!  MY PROBLEM WAS WHO I TOLD, WHO I SOUGHT HELP FROM, AS WAS ANASTASIA’S.

Taking matters into their own hand; two brothers kill widow & her relatives: 

Winta Mehari, 28; her brother Yonas Mehari, 17;

and their mother, 50-year-old Regbe Bahrengasi

Widow and HER relatives killed in revenge, seeking money, by deceased husband’s relatives.  2 year old involved.

2006 – No Asylum for Eritrean Family from revenge, greed,

extortion? in the Golden State

Planned to exterminate family during Thanksgiving Dinner?  

ALAMEDA — A dispute over money was the cause of the shooting deaths of three members of an Eritrean family in Oakland on Thanksgiving Day, a relative of the victims alleged Tuesday after the suspects in the case were arraigned on charges that could bring them the death penalty.

Asmeron Gebreselassie, 43, the suspected gunman, and 39-year-old Tewodros Gebreselassie were each charged Tuesday with three counts of murder; one count of attempted murder for the non-fatal shooting of Yehtram Mehari, the brother of Winta and Yonas; one count of kidnapping for allegedly taking Winta Mehari’s 2-year-old son from the scene; and two counts of false imprisonment involving two other family members, Angersom Mehari and Merhawi Mehari.

 They also were charged with two special circumstances murder allegations that could earn them the death penalty: multiple murder and murder during the course of a kidnapping.

 The victims and the defendants were all members of Oakland’s sizable Eritrean community. About 50 members of that community, many dressed in traditional Eritrean clothing, packed Tuesday’s court hearing.

Oakland police say they think the motive for the shooting at the Keller Plaza apartment complex at 5301 Telegraph Ave. in Oakland about 3 p.m. on Thanksgiving was that the Gebreselassie brothers wanted revenge for the death of their brother, Abraham Tewolde, 42, on March 1.

Police said Abraham Tewolde’s cause of death was undetermined and his brothers were suspicious of Winta Mehari, his widow.

 Keflezighi said Tewolde died of natural causes but Tewolde’s family members asked Mehari’s family members to give them money.

 

I REMEMBER THIS ONE.  I WAS DRIVING TO EAT DINNER, TAKEN CHARITABLY IN, NOT WITH MY DAUGHTERS, BECAUSE THEY’D ALREADY BEEN TAKEN, COMPLICIT WITH MY OWN FAMILY AND AROUND MONEY ISSUES ALSO.  I RAN INTO POLICE CARS & TV CAMERAS BLOCKING THE WAY.

Was this misogyny?  Was this something like an honor killing?  What WAS this?  A young man, apparently a good one, was killed, victim to two men seeking revenge on his mother.  His crime?  Being a brother, apparently!

Meanwhile, students and teachers at Berkeley High School were mourning the death of Yonas Mehari. The boys varsity soccer team, which he played on, wore black armbands in his honor and dedicated its season to him Monday night.

All the victims and suspects were immigrants from Eritrea, and the killings have shocked the East Bay’s tightly-knit community from that small East African nation. Many people packed the courtroom today, and others without seats waited in the hallway.

Hundreds of mourners have been visiting the apartment complex, home to a large number of Eritreans and Ethiopians, to pay their respects. Many have also brought food for the family and donated money for transporting the three bodies to Eritrea for burial, for medical bills for others injured in the attack and for care of Winta’s Mehari’s son.

Police said the brothers, who also live in the apartment complex, were angry at Winta Mehari over the unexplained death of their brother, Abraham Tewolde, 42, who was her husband. A mechanic who ran a small auto shop on Broadway, Tewolde collapsed and died March 1. An autopsy was unable to determine the cause of his death, coroner’s officials said.

Police said the Gebreselassie brothers suspected Winta Mehari had some role in her husband’s death. Tewodros Gebreselassie, an engineer, attended the party at the Mehari’s third-floor apartment on Thanksgiving, and police said he admitted to helping his brother plan the attack.

Witnesses told police that Tewodros Gebreselassie was talking on his cell phone and said, “Yeah, they’re all here,” according to court records. Minutes later he opened the apartment door for Asmeron Gebreselassie, who then opened fire on the Mehari family. When the shooting started, Tewodros Gebreselassie grabbed his 2-year-old nephew, Winta Mehari’s son, and carried him back to the second-floor apartment where the Gebreselassie lived, witnesses said.

Asmeron Gebreselassie also shot his brother-in-law Yehtram Mehari in the foot, witnesses told police. Another brother, Angersom Mehari, jumped out a window and suffered a broken back. A third brother, Merhawi Mehari, hid in the closet and avoided injury.

Police found the boy unharmed after the two brothers surrendered to a SWAT team following a brief standoff at their apartment. The guns he allegedly used were later found, police said.

At Berkeley High School, students, teachers and counselors spent Monday and today remembering the 17-year-old Yonas Mehari, who played soccer, ran cross country and helped tutor other students.

“I’ve known him for four years, and I really saw him as a leader, an independent thinker and just a really sweet kid to be around,” said Kristin Glenchur, athletic director at Berkeley High. “He was always around volunteering for something” such as working the scoreboards during football games or the concession stands, she said.

His slain mother was active in the Eritrean Orthodox Church in Oakland and was popular among her immigrant community, estimated by the Eritrean consulate in Oakland at to be about 3,000 people.

Donations to the Mehari Family Fund can be deposited at any Bank of America branch under account number 0560942210.

 

SUMMARY:

Sometimes there is no refuge from family violence — members take the law into their own hands; oftentimes greed is a factor, as in many cases above.  McAlpin appears to have just been a man with a mission intersecting with a system with a different mission.  She got cross in the cross-fire of attempts to reform a man after:  kidnapping, stalking, assault, and threats to kill.  

How IMPORTANT is it that the United States set the standard that misogyny is “anathema” it’s unacceptable?

I fear that Senator Ted, Presidents Bush, Clinton, and now Obama, have failed to do this.  Moreover, women’s groups also, subject to the same human emotions, claw and fight each other sometimes to the top, seeking scarce prestige, or abundant federal funds.  This is also a spinoff of misogyny.  We who watch such things don’t see such huge, huge divides among the men’s groups.  We have now an older Republican white President, a young and charming (and philandering) white President, and an even younger and MORE charming African-American President, all united in fixing the crises of fatherlessness, and making sure that mothers don’t actually get to (safely) fulfil their motherhood unless a man is present, and it’s CLEAR we do not have have equal protection or rights under law, despite the claims to the contrary.  If so, where are all the dead men on the side of the road simply for leaving?  Where are the women blowing away a few family generations to take the law into their own hands?  They just aren’t there!

 

I should be more respectful, and I will take another day to be so, of the passing of a major political figure this week, Senator Ted Kennedy.

I wish I did not have a troubling memory of his womanizing, of the two programs he promoted the mOST (education/health) which have negatively affected my family the MOST.  I wish that the date of his passing did not coincide with the date my kids were stolen, yet remain within (at last sighting) driving distance, but inaccessible to me, because I simply took a stand against misogyny and violence.

I took a stand for telling the truth in court, and not mincing words.  Perhaps I am very disrespectful.

I wish I were not thinking of how he endorsed our current President, for whom I too voted, not being fully aware of his stance on the ubiquitous and impoverishing, endangering to women “fatherhood” movement.  It is never enough, never enough — always another initiative, another grant, through churches, through family members when they are themselves swept up and confronted by their failure to confront, and through family law system, and through an unbelievably condescending virtual caste system by the elite making it near impossible for less fortunate to escape the economic abuse that would enable them to escape threats of injury, death, having children abducted, either by the ex or through the courts or (case in point) both, and through violence to our civil rights within this nation.

They said Sen. Kennedy worked like a dog, and i believe it. Some of us do, too, on a single issue that doesn’t often go away.  I never tried to raise his offspring, and I do not appreciate his or any other administration , or their programs, just because they have the platform, prating on about how to raise mine, married or single, through a burdensome system that doesn’t even impart decent values, let alone decent academics.  And in 20 years of THIS battle, I’ve never had a hand laid on any of mine, anything that was mine, or on ME, from someone who openly said he or she hated me or wanted to hurt me.

It was always from the “helpers” and those “concerned.”  Sure. . . . 

 

But in re:

Kennedy’s Battle With Cancer Lost


U.S. has lost a great statesman, obviously.  But before this, long before this, we have lost something else.  We have lost self-respect as individuals, and transferred it to our leaders, HOPING in them.  This is misplaced hope too often, and it’s unwise.

Jeremiah was a prophet who watched and spoke out against the deterioration of his nation:  For this, he got left in a pit without water, and would’ve starved there, were he not later rescued.   Later, Jesus Christ, also preaching “repent” got crucified.  

Jeremiah 17

.

5 Thus saith the LORD: Cursed is the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD.

6 For he shall be like the heath in the desert, and shall not see when good cometh; but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, a salt land and not inhabited.

7 Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.

8 For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out his roots by the river, and shall not fear when heat cometh, but his leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.

9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is desperately sick: who can know it?

10 I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.

11 As the partridge that gathereth young which she hath not brought forth, so is he that getteth riches, and not by right; in the midst of his days they shall leave him, and at his end he shall be a fool.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

For the past 20 years, I have sought refuge in my home, from my home, from my family’s close resonance to the tune my ex-husband played. I have a logical mind, and mind seeks logic to piece a life together, even if the logic is to accept chaos.  But I HAVE found a logic to the, what I will call, narcissistic, self-referential habit of federal domination of the markets — well MOST markets.  Education, family design, health care, welfare, child-bearing practically, and reform.  

The U.S. is succeeding at incarceration — we are the world’s LARGEST jailor — and failing at education.  The reason we are failing at education is because we have trusted our leaders to design a system.  Instead, they designed an ECONOMY to support themselves, and placed our children at its mercy.  This was a transformational system of values sold as good, but not in practice good.  It is possible to succeed very well in this educational system and be an utter failure as a person.  It is also possible to fail in this system and be a business success.  Or to fail all round.

I am 50-plus.  At this age, I had to pick WHAT to dedicate what’s left of my life to; and it was a hard choice between Family Law system and Educational System.  Both systems hurt my kids and my family, and are creating the tiered society, while claiming to provide the opposite.  I have a relative with her own children run through a private school system that took offence that i too — in a different way — opted out of the local public schools.  In truth, I believe that if our daughters succeeded without wealth at what she’d sacrificed to become wealthy and with wealth BUY, it would somehow show up her life plan.  Our respective nieces might be competing for similar college slots – – I don’t know.  

But I have watched close up, and then system-wide, forced failure and social exclusion for simply doing something about it.  So have many fellow-blogger mothers (see right column).

Look at this graphic:

(it’s an old one) from “America, What Went Wrong“? An book that documents the destruction of the middle class.

An INDEPENDENT middle class, with time to think, and understanding basic business principles, will hold its government accountable.  A DEPENDENT (upon professional jobs, many of them government-sanctioned or supplied), which my generation came from (but not my parents) will indeed do the dirty work and bidding of the top group, keeping the heirarchy in place.

From 1990 to 2009, I have been overexposed to impoverishment, and how it’s manufactured.  I watched my husband do this, in order to keep himself on top, he was willing that the ship should go down.  Nothing more mattered, and all discussions were moot (or off) that didn’t first establish this dominance.  Neither I nor our children were actually to show up as people, or with needs, but as performers.

Now, according to the myths taught in public school (and elsewhere) about HOW government works (which dealing with in-home abuse didn’t really leave time for an official study of), it should be possible to leave the situation.  No one should care HOW I leave it, so long as it’s done legally and without harm to our children.  However once we showed up as a household, without a resident male, in waltzed the “experts,” ignoring the facts, the danger, the track record, and proudly proclaiming situations that didn’t exist as though they did.  

Having some exposure to the Bible and its language, this was easy to detect as playing “god.” And naturally, I protested.

And so, the divide and conquer of the middle class, overeducated fools (lots of academia, insufficient truly hard times), scrabbling to assert their intellectual dominance and right to explain away that violence happened in their family, and they, too, failed to report.  

In the long run, I chalk it up to basic human emotions of (1) pride (2) fear (3) greed (4) prejudice (THIs kind, “misogyny.”)  Where logic fails, dominance by gender — or age (it keeps flipping around, the varieties of messages I get), only a few years — or marital status, or SOMETHING to preserve the us/them, Object/subject relationship which is not a human relationship.  Because surely they didn’t misdiagnose a situation, the judges were wrong, I was wrong, the statistics were wrong, everyone else was wrong, and this intact family unit (sort of) was “right.”  Or else. . . . . Social shunning was tried, and I didn’t repent, to the antes were upped, and my kids were stolen, and all contact cut off.  

Perhaps it is because of working so hard on these issues, I have been watching politics from afar.

Perhaps it is because of these issues, I have a different “take” on the passing of a Senator that was compared last night to Daniel Webster and Henry Clay.  The words “dynasty” may apply, but these are NOT words coherent with the U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights.

Here’s a woman talking sense:

 

In THE SHOCK DOCTRINE, Naomi Klein explodes the myth that the global free market triumphed democratically. Exposing the thinking, the money trail and the puppet strings behind the world-changing crises and wars of the last four decades, The Shock Doctrine is the gripping story of how America’s “free market” policies have come to dominate the world– through the exploitation of disaster-shocked people and countries.

At the most chaotic juncture in Iraq’s civil war, a new law is unveiled that would allow Shell and BP to claim the country’s vast oil reserves…. Immediately following September 11, the Bush Administration quietly out-sources the running of the “War on Terror” to Halliburton and Blackwater…. After a tsunami wipes out the coasts of Southeast Asia, the pristine beaches are auctioned off to tourist resorts…. New Orleans’s residents, scattered from Hurricane Katrina, discover that their public housing, hospitals and schools will never be reopened…. These events are examples of “the shock doctrine”: using the public’s disorientation following massive collective shocks – wars, terrorist attacks, or natural disasters — to achieve control by imposing economic shock therapy. Sometimes, when the first two shocks don’t succeed in wiping out resistance, a third shock is employed: the electrode in the prison cell or the Taser gun on the streets.

 

This is the theme of the National Fatherhood Initiative, there is a “crisis in fatherlessness.”  I have watched these manufactured crises on a personal level and also a national level and have begun to get an understanding of some of the causes and sources, ONE of which is most definitely the educational system.  Divide and conquer, and assume control of assets and assessments.  That’s elementary.  One very empowering activity, to young people, is the arts, and self-sufficiency.  No problem.  Delete the arts, if possible, and free time, and uninterrupted quantities of time for reflection, and also do not study (honestly) either history or the economic system, in particular not the history of any system one is currently in.  Again, I saw this in my marriage, how the most basic amenities were threatening to my “intimate partner.”  THE most threatening one apparently was access to a steady cash flow.  If I got this by working, the reserves must be eliminated by his working less, or making the process of getting to/from work more burdensome and timesconsuming.  Rooms got trashed or re-arranged while I was out, at class or working or with the kids.  There was no stability.  Once you get the pattern, it’s only a matter of breaking it.  My writing (I was also journaling the abuse) threatened this person.  I exported the journals.  He exported his behind and friendship to the people into whose care I’d put them.  I went and got them back. . . . . But it was too late.  They had to be turned, I guess (?).

Here’s another one which speaks to it about “lockdown” of the fortress continents.  Care must be taken to incorporate cheap labor:

Fortress continents

The US and Europe are both creating multi-tiered regional strongholds

There is so much in life to be considered, but in considering memorials, again, I keep coming back to scripture:

“Pray for kings and all that are in authority, that we may live a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.” (I Tim. 2:1).

“It is not good to have respect of persons.” (James).

You know what, with all due respect, it’s not.  LIFE is about what you respect, and who you honor:  Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, soul, mind and strength, and thy neighbor as thyself.”

There is not to be a tiered respect of people according to how MUCH of this world they’ve changed.  We, ALL of us in the U.S., are to respect ourselves, and the founding principles of this country, which then allow us to respect at LEAST our neighbors.  

“Love worketh no ill towards his neighbor.”

Sometimes it’s simply in what one does NOT do, that love.

So, below are my unforgiveable (??) thoughts, in respect that a Senator has died, on seeing the extensive television recognition of this man, and hearing about what he had been doing while I was across the country, trying to stay afloat and keep the pilot light lit in my own life, spiritually and physically.

And I have to go about what’s left of this day, seeking funds sufficient for today and build something to tomorrow.

I saw a charming, Robert-Redford smile, and I thought about Chappaquiddick

about this man’s marriage to a woman 22 years his junior, a 38 year old divorced attorney single mother, and wondered things that were less respectful than appropriate.  I thought about the CFDA pie chart I know, where his two most passionate areas:  Education and Health — were THE largest and most impoverishing segments of the budget; and the effect of this incredible top-heavy Federal language transformation into a welfare state directing lives of the lowly.  

It did not help when I learned that this person was a prime author of the “No Child Left Behind” act and a real pusher of Head Start.  Trust the elite to prescribe for the poor every time.  It is also quite unfortunate that his death this week commemorates about 3 years fo the “death” of my relationship with my own daughters, and primarily because I REFUSED to accept that poverty resulting from violence should result in becoming a surrogate womb for childless narcissistic relatives convinced that, having not experienced what my daughters and I did, or accepted court rulings already made, that they, TOO, “knew what was best” for three females leaving family violence.  When I refused, I was punished by these people, and part of the punishment was declaring what I provided for our daughters, either was irrelevant and did not exist, and what they wished instead, was somehow superior.  

The punishment included the gradual deletion of the arts, the dumbing down of my children, the deletion of jobs in my profession (in the arts) because of the need to fight family!, and eventually the criminal removal of children (minors) from my household in order to, ostensibly, “rescue” them somehow, by totally removing all contact with a law abiding, working, intelligent, informed and independent mother. I have had cause and many years to reflect on the benefits and fallbacks of my own, and my ex-spouses public educations amid dysfuncitonal families, mine in a different way from his, and the values that differ.

This gives a totally different perspective on “No Child Left Behind,” when one realizes that the children of those promoting this policies (if such exist) do not always attend public schools, and if they did, they are not in lower-income neighborhoods.  To me, the mark of acceptability is, if it’s good enough for YOUR child, then I’ll listen.  

I’ll finish with this well-written summary:

MichaelMoore.com Commemoration


August 26th, 2009 2:25 am
Ted Kennedy Dies of Brain Cancer at Age 77

 

‘Liberal Lion’ of the Senate Led Storied Political Family After Deaths of President John F. Kennedy, Sen. Robert F. Kennedy

ABC News

Aug. 26, 2009 — Sen. Ted Kennedy died shortly before midnight Tuesday at his home in Hyannis Port, Mass., at age 77.

The man known as the “liberal lion of the Senate” had fought a more than year-long battle with brain cancer, and according to his son had lived longer with the disease than his doctors expected him to.

“We’ve lost the irreplaceable center of our family and joyous light in our lives, but the inspiration of his faith, optimism, and perseverance will live on in our hearts forever,” the Kennedy family said in a statement. “He loved this country and devoted his life to serving it.”

Sen. Edward Moore Kennedy, the youngest Kennedy brother who was left to head the family’s political dynasty after his brothers President John F. Kennedy and Sen. Robert F. Kennedy were assassinated.

Kennedy championed health care reform, working wages and equal rights in his storied career. In August, he was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom — the nation’s highest civilian honor — by President Obama. His daughter, Kara Kennedy, accepted the award on his behalf.

Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, known as Ted or Teddy, was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor in May 2008 and underwent a successful brain surgery soon after that. But his health continued to deteriorate, and Kennedy suffered a seizure while attending the luncheon following President Barack Obama’s inauguration.

For Kennedy, the ascension of Obama was an important step toward realizing his goal of health care reform.

At the Democratic National Convention in August 2008, the Massachusetts Democrat promised, “I pledge to you that I will be there next January on the floor of the United States Senate when we begin the great test.”

Sen. Kennedy made good on that pledge, but ultimately lost his battle with cancer.

Kennedy was first elected to the Senate in 1962, at the age of 30, and his tenure there would span four decades.

A hardworking, well-liked politician who became the standard-bearer of his brothers’ liberal causes, his career was clouded by allegations of personal immorality and accusations that his family’s clout helped him avoid the consequences of an accident that left a young woman dead.

But for the younger members of the Kennedy clan, from his own three children to those of his brothers JFK and RFK, Ted Kennedy — once seen as the youngest and least talented in a family of glamorous overachievers — was both a surrogate father and the center of the family.

And certainly it was Ted Kennedy who bore many of the tragedies of the family — the violent deaths of four of his siblings, his son’s battle with cancer, and the death of his nephew John F. Kennedy Jr. in a plane crash.

 

 

Kennedy, Youngest Kennedy Brother, Led Political Dynasty in Wake of Tragedy

Edward Moore Kennedy was born in Brookline, Mass., on Feb. 22, 1932, the ninth and youngest child of Joseph P. Kennedy and Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy.

His father, a third-generation Irish-American who became a multimillionaire businessman and served for a time as a U.S. ambassador to Britain, had risen high and was determined that his sons would rise higher still.

Overshadowed by his elder siblings, Teddy, as he was known to family and friends, grew up mostly in the New York City suburb of Bronxville, N.Y., and attended private boarding schools. He was expelled from Harvard during his freshman year after he asked a friend to take an exam for him.

After a two-year stint in the Army, Kennedy returned to earn degrees at Harvard and then the University of Virginia law school. He married Virginia Joan Bennett, known by her middle name, in 1958. The couple would have three children, Kara, Teddy Jr. and Patrick.

By the time he reached adulthood, tragedy had already claimed some of his siblings: eldest brother Joe Jr. was killed in World War II, sister Kathleen died in a plane crash, and another sister, Rosemary, who was mildly retarded, had to be institutionalized following a botched lobotomy.

But then the family hit its pinnacle in 1960, when John F. Kennedy became president.

His brother’s ascension created a political opportunity, and Joe Kennedy decided he should take over JFK’s Senate seat. Ted Kennedy was only 28 at the time — two years short of the required age — so a family friend was found to hold the temporary appointment.

In 1962, Ted Kennedy — backed by his family money and the enthusiasm his name generated among Massachusetts’ Catholics, was elected to the Senate.

 

The Only One Left

In 1963, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas. His brother Robert became the focus of the family’s — and much of the country’s — dreams.

Following the tragedy in Dallas, Robert and Ted Kennedy became closer than they had ever been as children.

“When I was working for Robert Kennedy, there was hardly a day in which the two of them didn’t physically get together, I would say at least three or four times,” said Frank Mankiewicz, who served as an aide to Robert Kennedy. “I mean, if, if Sen. Robert Kennedy wasn’t in his office, and nobody knew where he was, chances are he was seeing Ted about something.”

Five years later, while pursuing the Democratic presidential nomination in 1968 against Lyndon Johnson, Sen. Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed. That left Ted as the only surviving Kennedy son.

“He seriously contemplated getting out of politics after Robert’s death,” said Kennedy biographer Adam Clymer. “He thought, you know, it might just be too much. He might be too obviously the next target and all of that. But he decided to stick it out and as he said on more than one occasion, pick up a fallen standard.”

Kennedy was seen by many as his brothers’ heir, and perhaps he could have won the White House had he stepped into the presidential race then. But he didn’t. And the very next year there occurred a tragedy that would forever block Ted Kennedy’s presidential ambitions.

In July 1969, following a party on Martha’s Vineyard, Kennedy drove off a bridge on the tiny Massachusetts island of Chappaquiddick. The car plunged into the water. Kennedy escaped, but his passenger did not.

Kennedy later said he dived into the water repeatedly in a vain attempt to save Mary Jo Kopechne, one of the “boiler room girls” who had worked on Bobby Kennedy’s campaign. But Kopechne, 28, drowned, still trapped in the car.

Questions arose about how Kennedy had known Kopechne — he denied any “private relationship,” and Kopechne’s parents also insisted there was no relationship — and why he failed to report the accident for about nine hours.

Kennedy pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of leaving the scene of an accident. He received a two-month suspended sentence and lost his driver’s license for a year, but the political price was higher.

Kennedy was re-elected to the Senate in 1970, but the accident at Chappaquiddick effectively squashed his presidential hopes.

He ran unsuccessfully for the Democratic nomination in 1979 against incumbent President Jimmy Carter.

Once when his daughter Kara, then 19, was passing out campaign leaflets, a man took one and said to her, “You know your father killed a young woman about your age, don’t you?”

 

 

Kennedy Curse: Political Power, Personal Tragedy

Sen. Ted Kennedy was not done confronting personal tragedy.

In 1973, 12-year-old Teddy Jr. was diagnosed with bone cancer, and he had to have a leg amputated. Kennedy’s marriage to Joan deteriorated. Some blamed her drinking, others cited his alleged womanizing. The couple divorced in 1981.

In contrast, Kennedy’s career in the Senate continued to flourish.

He supported teachers’ unions, women’s and abortion rights, and health care reform. He sponsored the Family and Medical Leave Act. And he was seen as a stalwart of the Democratic Party, delivering several rousing speeches at conventions.

Former Boston Glober reporter Tom Oliphant, who covered Kennedy’s career in Washington, observed, “It’s not all back slapping and, and personal relationships. I think one of the things that sets Kennedy’s politics apart is his, what I call his dirty little secret. He works like a dog.”

Political analyst Mark Shields said Kennedy’s “concerns were national concerns, but his forum for achieving his ends and changing policy, became the Senate. And he mastered it like nobody else I’ve ever seen.”

But another family incident exposed Kennedy’s vulnerabilities and held him up to public censure.

A nephew, William Kennedy Smith, was accused of raping a woman at the family’s estate in Palm Beach, Fla. The case generated lurid headlines around the world. Kennedy was at the estate at the time of the alleged attack and had been at the bar where Smith met his accuser.

Eyebrows were raised even further when a young woman who had been with Kennedy’s son Patrick that night revealed that she had seen the senator roaming around the house at night, wearing an oxford shirt but no trousers.

Smith was acquitted following a highly sensational trial, but the incident definitely left a dent in Kennedy’s armor. His alleged heavy drinking and womanizing were widely lampooned, and in October 1991 he thought it prudent to be low-key in his opposition to Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas, who had been accused of sexually harassing a former subordinate.

Kennedy’s life, both professional and personal, took a turn for the better in 1992.

He married Victoria Reggie, a divorced attorney with two children from a previous marriage, Curran and Caroline. That year Kennedy also supported Bill Clinton, an open admirer of the Kennedy clan.

“Well, sometime during our courtship, I realized that I didn’t want to live the rest of my life without Vicky,” Kennedy said about his wife of nearly 30 years. “And since we have been together, it’s made my life a lot more fulfilling. I think more serene, kind of emotional stability.”

Elected in 1992, President Bill Clinton appointed Kennedy’s sister, Jean Kennedy Smith, ambassador to Ireland. And in 1994, Kennedy had the satisfaction of seeing his son Patrick elected to the House of Representatives from Rhode Island.

But tragedy returned that year.

In May 1994, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis died of cancer. Kennedy had remained close to his sister-in-law, who once quit her job at a publisher’s after it came out with an unflattering biography of Ted.

 

 

Kennedy’s Battle With Cancer Lost

Kennedy had served as a surrogate father for many of his nephews and nieces, but he may have been closest to Jackie’s children, Caroline and John F. Kennedy Jr.

He was horrified when in July 1999, five years after Jackie’s death, John Jr. and his bride of two years, Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, along with her sister Lauren Bessette, were killed when the small plane John was piloting crashed off the Massachusetts island of Martha’s Vineyard.

Sen. Kennedy led the family during the harrowing wait for information as Coast Guard crews searched for the missing plane.

When the bodies were retrieved from the ocean, Kennedy and his two sons went to identify the remains. The senator’s eulogy for his nephew who “had every gift but length of years” and “the wife who became his perfect soul mate” touched grief-stricken Americans.

It was an all-too-familiar sight for those who remember Ted Kennedy mourning the deaths of his brothers John and Robert, and helping the family bear up after the deaths of Robert’s sons David and Michael.

For decades, it was Ted Kennedy who carried the burden and led the way as the patriarch of a family seen as America’s answer to royalty.

 

With all due respect, we do not need any more royalty in this country.  We need to set our sites on something invisible, something written, but something of principle, that unites us.  Our leaders need to stick to that, and out of respect to OURSELVES ,we should demand that.


Early Childhood Melodrama — Amber Alerts, Restraining orders, Missing Moms or Dads

with one comment

(This first one ALMOST makes the case for abstinence education or CHMC’s $11 million grant for “saturating the state” with healthy marriage education -target population everyone age 15 or over – IF there was some proof it worked, and if the government should have been in the business — and it is one — of either marriages OR education to start with, which it wasn’t, originally)(and IF it weren’t at the same time abusing federal funds to the states in other categories, which it is…)


AMBER ALERT ISSUED FOR 2-MONTH-OLD BOY TAKEN BY FATHER

 

PLEASANTON [California] (BCN)

An Amber Alert has been issued for a 2-month-old boy who was taken by force from his mother by his father and uncle in Pleasanton early this morning.

The abduction was reported shortly after 4:45 a.m. in the area of Holland Drive and Payne Road, police Sgt. Barry Mickleburgh said.

Police received near-simultaneous calls from the distraught mother and from neighbors reporting a woman crying inside a vehicle.

The mother, a 17-year-old girl, told arriving officers that 2-month-old Davion Bryceon Dunn was strapped in a car seat in the back of a car when the father, 18-year-old Damiante Dunn, approached and assaulted her.

 

A female friend had just driven the mother and her baby back from a party, police said. The mother said Dunn had been calling her during the evening and threatening to take the child away if she didn’t tell him where she was, police said.

[[17 yr old girl 2 month old baby, all-night party]] [[Somehow there seems to be more than meets the eye here]].

Damiante Dunn’s brother, 20-year-old Kalandre Dunn, was with him during the confrontation this morning and began assaulting the girl’s friend, who was struggling to hold the baby in the car seat, police said.

Kelandre Dunn allegedly punched the woman in the face and took the baby, according to police.

The Dunn brothers then allegedly drove off with the child in a white 1988 Oldsmobile with 22-inch rims. The car was last seen headed south on Hopyard Road, police said.

Damiante Dunn is described as a black man, 5 feet 11 inches tall and weighing 167 pounds. He has black hair and brown eyes. He was last seen wearing a black T-shirt and black jeans along with a red hat with a white “W” on it and black tennis shoes.

Kelandre Dunn is also black, 5 feet 10 inches tall and weighs 190 pounds with black hair and brown eyes, police said. He was last seen wearing black shorts, a white T-shirt and a black, red and white San Francisco 49ers hat.

The baby was wearing a white “onesie” with a teddy bear on the front.

Pleasanton police issued an Amber Alert but don’t yet have the Oldsmobile’s license plate number.

Authorities are trying to pinpoint where the brothers may have headed.

“They may have ties to Richmond but we’re not able to confirm any of that yet,” Mickleburgh said this morning.

Anyone who spots the Oldsmobile or has information on the baby’s whereabouts is asked to call Pleasanton police at (925) 931-5100.

 

OK LET’s THINK ABOU THIS, STARTING WITH HOW SOMEONE’S MELODRAMA BECAME A HEADLINE:

Somehow we have an 18 year old (referred to as a man, and the baby’s father) and a 17 year old (referred to in press as a juvenile, the baby’s mother, a girl and a woman) with a little baby, that she had either before or after turning 17, most likely before completing high school.

Where is work and where is college on the plan for either parent?  And how does this fit in with an all-night party (coming home at near 5am) and a restraining order, already!  And with not living together somehow?  To remedy that , the man (18) and brother (21) come and ambush and snatch the baby when the car is stopped (acc. to one account), dragging it from the carseat and assaulting, apparently both women in the car.  

With a restraining order one, were the car doors locked or windows open?  I didn’t read about broken glass.  What occasioned the restraining order?  

 

Why should the American public keep giving money to be put into school systems that are so “smart” they have to pour in extra funds to remedy what they didn’t do the first time (through programs like:  healthy marriage abstinence education — still going strong, by the way, I believe, and funded — fatherhood promotion (conducted from within prison sometimes), access visitation funding to the states to get absent Dads (primarily) more involved with their children so the Moms will get off welfare (only this happens to hit Moms NOT on welfare equally hard, as it affects due process in the courts, by diverting legal issues into mediation, parenting classes, etc.) (and sometimes recruits Dads from child support collection offices, in which case the general idea is to bribe Dad to get more involved with their children, and “hope” that some more funds will show up somewhere, whether or not these actually get to the kids) – – and then we utilize police officers to go fetch back a stolen baby, after court resources to issues a restraining order, serving it — and obviously not heeded.  Apparently only the existence of the restraining order actually motivated the amber alert to start with.  

 

WHY SHOULD WE BE PAYING THE GOVERNMENT TO CLEAN UP WHAT IT SCREWED UP TO START WITH?  IF IT DOESN’T TRUST FAMILIES TO RAISE AND EDUCATE! THEIR OWN KIDS, THEN IT OUGHT TO DO A BETTER JOB, AND A REMARKABLY BETTER ONE, TOO!  As it was (below) one of the mothers of the young men persuaded them to turn themselves in and the baby over.  They weren’t “caught” except that the alarm was actually sent out.

By the way, the theme of the public school education is NOT being religious (although I say it is), for which nonprofits are formed by both faith organizations and atheist organizations to fight — basically — each other over the public schools. 

One of the former, Pacific Justice Institute, I believe was involved in fighting the city of Lodi, California because it wanted to ban the use of the word “Jesus” in public prayer by city officials (or something).  They fight for civil rights of some parents (typically Christian, I think) in the public school system.  Meanwhile, Focus on the Family a few years back was urging all God-fearing Christian parents to withdraw their children from the public school system in California.  Focus on the Family and Dobson (et al. — Promise-Keepers, etc.) are like lukewarm, diluted skim milk on the issue of wife-beating among their ranks.  It’s the “family” thing, you know (some of this has played into our case and life history).  The atheists take issue, alternately, with the words “under God” in the pledge of allegiance and prayer in schools.  

The above paragraph may sound like a ramble, but these are things I have been studying, and which you can too, with time, and checking some of the databases, and significant comparison of internet information with life experiences and laws.  Come to think of it, a good deal of this blog might be considered a “ramble,” but that’s my First Amendment privilege — to squawk about things, and assemble, virtually, asking others to get informed and take a second look.  Sometimes I even get around to recommending action, in the form of conducting audits.  I don’t mean getting someone else to, I mean getting basic, relevant facts yourself after there’s enough background research to get a feel for what’s going on.

 

It may be possible to homogenize the school system with its incredibly diverse (overall, if not within individual school districts!!) and get it right, one generation, or the other, or maybe about (at this rate) 5 generations from now, if then. Let’s talk about how milk gets homogenized and pasteurized (heating it to a point that beneficial enzymes are killed).

One way might to homogenize the school populations but not have so many teen pregnancies and child-abductions, child abuse, and of course the social plague of fatherlessness, might be teach children NOT to think (the pharmaceutical industry and behavioral health industries can help — and are).  I think the psychotropic manner might not be too advisable — some of these DV murder/suicides occurr right after someone was on antipsychotics or let out (Toms River, NJ case in point) of a mental institution.  Was it their treatment there, the drugs, or what that right afterwards, someone kills?  And if you do too much sedating, the basic human drives might also fall idle, which would then cause problems of production AND procreation.  I’m not totally informed, but every now and then one reads about the attempt to create an artificial womb, AND sperm, so perhaps with time, humans will be indeed manufactured like genetically modified vegetables.  Mainstream media movies sure have picked up on this long ago, the older one “Robot” and a current one “Surrogates.”  

The first-century (A.D. or C.E.) version of this was called gladiators, the real ones.  Real blood, and really for entertainment.

 

Another way might be for a distant government to stop billing the entire country (both those with and those without children) to run things from Washington that weren’t even on the Founder’s brains to do, as in, rather than limiting government to keep it OUT of individual’s lives more than necessary, to expanding it to the point that individuals CANNOT safely have a life without actually working for the government, just about!  (recent news item.  

Two on-the-clock, armed, Marin County sheriff’s deputies on the same bridge where a woman (and man) was shot to death in a tollbooth recently — for trying to separate, and the man involved, for helping a woman trying to separate — they witnessed the shooting homicide of a 51 and 58 year old man and woman.  The deputies were not harmed in this incident, and it could be said they took actions to limit deaths to “only” two, but it does kind of make you wonder — didn’t those two, who died, pay some taxes in their middle aged lifetime so they wouldn’t go onto a bridge and die?  So maybe the solution is that we either become, as a country, nothing BUT government institutions (no private lives whatsoever, except for the elite) or we really, really reconsider the phrase “of, by and for the people” and take it literally.  

Another way might be to put the burden of educating their children on ALL parents.  Like this:  

You want to have kids?  Well, whether you do or not is not government business (now THAT would be a novel concept! !!), but IF you do, and they stay in this country, YOU have to be to teach them basic reading, basic math — and basic civic literacy, including the Constitution.  This includes in English, too.  They do not all have to be reading by even age 5, and no, you do not have to farm them out to be “prepared for school” (what a low goal, given the U.S. Schools systems!),  But they DO have to be reading by age 7, barring some serious identified disability — in the CHILD, not in the TEACHERS or in the SCHOOLS!  “

If these aren’t parent competencies, then parents can become competent in finding someone they trust who CAN teach these things.  Locally, if possible, and then get the basics (including don’t hit, kill, steal, and have sex with the students, or for the most part, students with each other – particularly without protection — until you have something (legal) really going for you as to values, interests, and direction in life.

(A Richmond, CA group linked to California Healthy Marriages site, promotes books, including this one:

 
Myth of the Common School
Charles Leslie Glenn, Jr.
 
In this thoughtful, well-wrought study, Charles L. Glenn examines t
he historical development of the idea that the State should sponsor popular education in order to mold common loyalties and values among its citizens in the interest of national unity. This idea had led inevitably to conflict with parents and groups who do not accept the values and beliefs inculcated by the state and its educators. {{AN INHERENT, BUILT-IN CONFLICT, AND I SAY, WHEN SUCH THINGS EXIST, THE QUESTION TO ASK IS, WHO PROFITS FROM IT?  SAME QUESTION COULD AND SHOULD BE ASKED WHEN IT COMES TO THE FAMILY LAW ANSWER.  THE ANSWER IS IN THE $$ — WHAT BUSINESSES ARE THESE FAILURES SUPPORTING?  THEN IN THE VIEWPOINT OF THOSE BUSINESSES, THE “SYSTEMS” HAVE NOT “FAILED” AT ALL, BUT SUCCEEDED! IT JUST DEPENDS WHOSE BALANCE SHEET IS BEING EXAMINED!}}

Over the years, the issues around which such conflict has arisen have varied, but the underlying positions remain the same. On the one hand there are those who assert the absolute right of parents to control the education of their children. On the other there are those who assert the absolute right of the State to control the education of children and to do so in a way that minimizes the differences among them. Glenn examines this tension primarily as it evolved in nineteenth-century Massachusetts, with reference to parallel developments elsewhere in the United States and in France and the Netherlands. {{LETSGETHONEST NOTES THAT HE OMITS GERMANY/PRUSSIAN MODEL, WHICH OTHER BOOKS HAVE DOCUMENTED}} He ends by reminding us that this continuing conflict over popular education raises troubling questions in a democracy. How, for example, can the pluralism we claim to value, the liberty we cherish, be reconciled with a State pedagogy designed to serve State purposes? Can government assure that each child is educated in the essentials required by the social, political, and economic order without seeking to impose uniformity? He concludes by offering workable and tested solutions to this perennial dilemma.  ((Which — charter schools or homeschools, or a total voucher program?}}

 Paperback, 382pp, Indexed, ISBN: 1-55815-522-8, $27.95

Myth of the Common School 
 

And another one along the same lines:

 

Quest for Community

 


I’m not visionary enough to see what would happen to our country and business as usual IN it, should this actually happen.  However, I am smart enough to see what business as usual in this arena IS doing to our country.  And this is not speculation in my life; I have lived the before after, differences, raised one child to get in a top university, although the first half of her life was marked by witnessing domestic violence, the second half (basically, about adolescence forward) further trauma from the California Courts, and in-fighting with a relative who determined that anything not public schooling was devilish, but assaulting a pregnant woman in the home, threatening her, including with weapons, and shutting down her profession, bank account, access to credit and transportation over several years, was NOT (this literally happened) and a minor felony-child-stealing event just to rub in who’s boss and so forth.  The venom behind this fight, and the incoherent reasoning (and, when such incoherence gets confronted, resorting to other forms of threat, intimidation, and serious damage) in the mouths and on paper from those opposing an ALTERNATE to public schooling — it’s unbelievable.  I would not have believed it had I not experienced it.  If someone told me (as I am here), even someone I knew, I probably wouldn’t believe it, even as I probably wouldn’t have believed so much violence happened within marriages until I went through this also.  

I have taught students of many types and in many venues, and worked with and talked with their parents also, both as the children’s teacher myself (in certain profession), a fellow parent (mother), or simply being a kind of outgoing person, talking to people in my communities about how they raised their kids and so forth.  In addition, I read, networked, and corresponded, including a few times overseas, and compared notes.  I have no Ph.D.  I had a Mrs. (for what that was worth – not much!) and a M.O.M.  And I have a rich databank enough to allow that there might be more than one way, and to identify several of them, to get young people up to speed.  One daughter has succeeded in the top (literally) public school in the state — and this “top” designation very likely had to do with its household income base, not ethics, morality, values or much else.  We had at this time increasing poverty and stress because of this fight to eradicate civil and legal rights, and it was done in the court system and with those institutions and agencies that work in concert with this system.

There is an unbelievable degree of comingling and inbreeding (I call it that! Others call it “cooperation”) between what should be neutral and separate entitities.  Civic literacy is related to public education, and public education isn’t passing with flying colors on many of the basics of civic literacy (let alone civil rights!).  

Yes, I realize this would transform society and affect employment.  On the other hand, how bad an idea is that?  Yes, I realize, this would REALLY upset too many apple carts.  However, clearly we’re already upset (see Amber Alerts, which essentially are parental kidnappings (mostly), domestic violence murder/suicides, unnecessary ones, and the frivolous protection offered by protection orders.  

Anyhow – – we must pay more attention to the INSTITUTIONS driving our lives, and be as critical as possible towards them.  

So, anyhow, I read about this latest Amber alert and wondered WHY.  I spared the blog a lot more of the philosophizing, so be thankful.  

 

 

 

Amber Alert Canceled; Boy Returned to Family KSBW

POSTED: 9:22 am PDT August 19, 2009
UPDATED: 2:15 pm PDT August 19, 2009

PLEASANTON, Calif. — A 2-month-old Pleasanton boy who police say was abducted by his father and uncle after they attacked his mother has been found safe.

 Pleasanton police said Davion Bryceon Dunn was recovered late Wednesday morning after the boy’s grandmother arranged for the alleged abductors to surrender.

 Authorities said Davion was kidnapped earlier in the day by his father, 18-year-old Diamante Dunn, and his uncle, Kalandre Dunn, while riding in a car with his mother and another woman.

 The boy’s mother told police that the men attacked her at a stop sign, snatched Davion and fled in another car.

Authorities issued an Amber Alert after the mother said she had a domestic violence restraining order against Dunn. Police said they considered both men dangerous.

{{Makes one wonder whether had there been on restraining order, they would’ve acted.}}

 

Copyright 2009 by The Associated Press. All

 

BABY DAVION RETURNED:

PLEASANTON —A man [18 yrs old] who abducted his 2-month-old son this morning has turned himself in to Antioch police, and the baby is safe, police said.

Damiante Dunn, 18, and his brother, 20-year-old Kelandre Dunn, surrendered to Antioch police at 11:20 a.m. after one of their mothers arranged for them to turn themselves in, police said.

Authorities say Damiante Dunn took the baby from a car driven by the child’s mother after assaulting her. Another woman in the car, who was trying to protect the baby, was also assaulted.

Pleasanton police say they were called about 4:50 a.m. to a neighborhood on Holland Drive and Payne Road after residents called saying a woman was crying inside (NOT DRIVING??) (NO CELL PHONES??)  a car there. They found a 17-year-old woman in the car who said the baby’s father, Dunn, and his brother took the child by force.  She said she and the baby, Davion Bryceon Dunn, and an adult friend had pulled up to a home in the neighborhood.

Police said Kelandre Dunn reached into the backseat of the car to take the baby and punched the mother’s friend in the face when she tried to keep the baby in his car seat. Damiante Dunn pulled the baby’s mother out of the car and sped away in a white 1988 Oldsmobile.
The mother said Damiante Dunn had been calling her Tuesday night threatening to take Davion from her if she didn’t tell him where she was

 

Family and Friends of Missing Boy Pass Out Fliers in Hopes of Finding Child 
Created by Kimberlee Sakamoto on 8/18/2009 6:58:00 PM

Not yet found:

 

 

OAKLAND (KRON) – The family and friends of a missing 5-year-old with cerebral palsy are continuing their search for the boy by handing out fliers in the neighborhood where he was last seen.

Hasanni Campbell’s grandmother Pamela Clark and aunt Jennifer organized the group.

 

 

On Tuesday they grabbed fliers and spread out to cover as much ground as possible.

“Oh it’s really hard. Hope keeps me alive,” said Pamela.

Some of the volunteers who never knew Hasanni say it’s important to do whatever it takes to find the boy. 
Lashawenda Collins tells KRON 4’s Terisa Estacio why she felt the need to help, “I have nieces, I have a daughter. And my friends have kids also. And it could be one of us out here, looking.
The five-year-old has been missing since August 10th when his foster father, Louis Ross, left him next to a car parked outside a shoe store where Jennifer, Ross’ fiancée, works. 

 

 
Oakland police and Crime Stoppers announced a reward of up to $10,000 on Monday for information leading to the whereabouts of Hasanni. 

Police say they’ve received fewer than 50 tips in the case.
Stay with KRON 4 and KRON4.com for the latest developments on the search for Hasanni.

(Copyright 2009, KRON 4, All rights reserved.)

 

 (SAME CASE):

Associated Press – August 19, 2009 8:04 PM ET

OAKLAND, Calif. (AP) – Oakland police say a tip line set up in the hopes it would help find a missing boy is operating again after numerous calls from one tipster tied up the line.

Police spokesman Jeff Thomason says the Crime Stoppers tip line is up and running after one caller left about 40 messages, none of which turned out to be credible.

The line was set up in the hopes leads would come in that would help authorities find 5-year-old Hasanni Campbell. A reward of up to $10,000 is also being offered for information.

The boy has been missing since Aug. 10 when his foster father, Louis Ross, left him in a car parked near a shoe store where his foster mother works.

Ross says Hasanni was gone when he returned.

Copyright 2009 The Associated Press.

 

KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI – 2009 — MOM DEAD, DAD & GIRL STILL MISSING, AMBER ALERT USELESS NOW, THEY SAY

Amber Alert Ends, Girl Still Missing

Girl’s Mother Found Dead In KC Home

POSTED: 10:59 am CST March 6, 2009
UPDATED: 9:43 am CST March 7, 2009

 

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Police said the father of a missing 4-year-old girl is considered a person of interest in the case.

An Amber Alert for Allison Corrales was issued Friday morning after Kansas City police found her mother dead inside an east-side apartment. Police lifted it on Saturday, but only because they said the alerts lose effectiveness after 24 hours.

Officers said they found 27-year-old Katia Lainez dead at the Sterling Court Apartments at 4023 Harvard Circle. Her 4-year-old daughter, Allison, remained missing more than 24 hours after her mother’s body was found.

Police said they want to talk to Allison’s father, Luis Corrales, 31.

 “There is a restraining order against the girl’s father. And so, they’re going to want to talk to him to find out what he may know,” police Capt. Rich Lockhart said.

Relatives said the last time they saw Lainez was Wednesday night. Lainez’s sister said she was worried about what Luis Corrales would do.

 Lainez was found by her brother-in-law, Orlando Melgar, who said he went to the apartment to check on her.

Lainez’s sister, Lelis Perez, said Luis Corrales showed up from Houston on Sunday night and wouldn’t leave. 

“Wherever you are, return the baby,” Melgar said.

Lainez had filed an order of protection against Luis Corrales. According to court documents, Lainez said, “He told me many times that if I leave him, he will kill me.” {{Which, apparently, he did}}.

Lainez also testified that she was afraid Luis Corrales would hurt Allison.

 

Lainez worked at the Golden Corral in Blue Springs. The manager said Lainez was great with staff and customers. Neighbors said Allison was often seen playing near her apartment. Other children called her Allie.

“She would just be playing along with the other children. When they’d ride their bikes, she would follow along, you know,” said Marcia Sellars with Sterling Watch Group. 

Perez said she’s feeling the pain of her sister’s death, and she’s worried about what happened to her niece. Perez said she’s concerned her niece is in danger.

 

Vehicle Missing

Investigators said the family vehicle, a red 1999 Kia Sportage with Missouri license plate PB1-R3R, is missing. Police said a car belonging to Luis Corrales was parked outside the apartment.Luis Corrales was described a 5 feet 5 inches tall, 150 pounds, with black hair and brown eyes. He reportedly has family in Houston and Manassas, Va.

 Anyone with information regarding any of this is asked to call 911 or the TIPS Hotline at 816-474-8477.

More Info

Katia Lainez Court Document Page 1

Katia Lainez Court Document Page 2

Katia Lainez Court Document Page 3

Katia Lainez Court Document Page 4

Katia Lainez Court Document Page 5

Katia Lainez Court Document Page 6


Copyright 2009 by KMBC.com. A

 

 

 

 

“Amber Alert restraining order” googled — always seems to bring up more than what I was searching for..

4 youngsters are kidnapped, San Antonio, Texas – Michigan

Ages 13 (daughter), 9, 6 & 5 (nieces & nephews)

Kidnapping Dad was 53; guardian had just died, biological mother had CPS take them away

.

Authorities have cancelled an Amber Alert after four San Antonio-area children, who were abducted by a 53-year-old man, were found unharmed in Michigan.

Alphonse Harris was arrested without incident at 10:45 a.m. at a home in Pontiac, Mich., where police found his daughter, 13-year-old Briana Harris, and her cousins: Dantae Lamar Harris, 5; Kenneth Dominic Harris, 6; and Nichelle Denise Harris, 9.

According to Deputy Ino Badillo, spokesman for the Bexar County Sheriff’s Office, Harris called deputies here around 8:45 a.m. and said he wanted to surrender. But he gave authorities a fictitious address, Badillo said, so it took some time for Pontiac officials and the FBI to find him.

Harris was sitting on the front steps of the home when authorities arrived, Badillo said, and was taken into custody immediately. He was taken to the Oakland County Jail on three counts of kidnapping and two counts of assault bodily injury-family, one of which was a previous charge, Badillo said.

Harris came to San Antonio at the beginning of August after his ex-wife became seriously ill, authorities said. She became unconscious around Aug. 11 after suffering a heart attack or stroke, Badillo said.

She remained on life support at a local hospital until Sunday. Shortly after her death, Harris packed the children in a car belonging to the deceased guardian and drove north. While the group was near Killeen, the oldest child sent text messages to an aunt that relayed her fears about being held against her will. The messages stopped after her father learned she was texting, according to Badillo.

“The suspect threatened to injure her if she contacted anybody else,” the sheriff’s spokesman said.

Relatives said the children already had endured multiple hardships before the death of their guardian, Harris’ ex-wife, who divorced the suspect 13 years ago.


Three of the children were placed in temporary custody of their grandmother after Child Protective Services terminated parental rights to their 27-year-old biological mother, LaKiesha Harris.  (WHY??)

Authorities and LaKiesha Harris said the suspect has a history of mental illness, including schizophrenia. Records show he has spent time in jail for assault bodily injury, violating a protective order, theft, criminal trespass and making terroristic threats.

 

(Let me get this:  the temporary custody guardian whose care they were in, had a schizo assaultive ex?  Way to go, CPS!)

Badillo said Harris will be extradited to San Antonio within 30 days, and Pontiac Child Protective Services are in contact with local authorities to reach the children’s relatives.

 

Massachusetts, 6 month old, suicide/murder threats from Father

 

 Infant’s father charged after Amber Alert set off ; Allegedly vowed to kill son, self if anyone tried to take his child

 

Article from:
The Boston Globe (Boston, MA) 
Article date:
May 2, 2008

 

Author:
John R. Ellement; Andrew 

 

CAMBRIDGE – An Arlington man who triggered an Amber Alert on Wednesday had vowed to kill his 6-month-old son, shoot five people, and then kill himself if anyone tried to take away the infant, a prosecutor said in court yesterday.

The infant, identified by Arlington police as Lucas Whalen, was in the temporary custody of a relative of his mother’s, as the Department of Social Services and the courts decide who should take care of him.

The infant’s father – Michael Whalen, 42 – was arraigned yesterday in Cambridge District Court, where he pleaded not guilty to parental kidnapping, threats, and receiving stolen property over $250. He was ordered held on $25,000 cash bail by Judge Roanne Sragow.

 

 

 

 

Dad ordered to make child support payments:  mother (dead) found, 4 yr old child, missing: date unknown

Amber alert issued for missing 4-year-old girl; mother’s body discovered

Kansas City Police have issued an amber alert for the 4-year-old daughter of a woman whose body was discovered this morning in her Kansas City apartment.

Police were called to the apartment at 4023 Harvard Circle about 9:15 a.m. and discovered the 27-year-old woman’s body. The apartment complex is near Interstate 70 and Sterling Avenue.

The woman’s 4-year-old daughter, Allyson Corrales, was missing.

Police also are looking for the girl’s father, Luis F. Corrales, 31, who they are describing as a person of interest.

The family’s car, a red 1999 Kia Sportage, with Missouri license plate PB1 R3R, is also missing.

Luis Corrales’ car was towed from the apartment parking lot this afternoon.

Anyone with information is asked to call the TIPS hotline at 816-474-8477.

An order of protection was filed against Luis Corrales in November, according to Jackson County court documents. At that time, he listed an Independence address.

In December, a judge ordered Corrales to make monthly child support payments.

Police Capt. Rich Lockhart said the woman’s body was discovered after her brother reported that he had not talked to her since Wednesday night.

post 1247518389

 

Novato, UNITED STATES (USA), Mon 13 Jul 2009, 21:21 GMT
TWENTY-SEVEN-YEAR-OLD JAMES MITCHELL IS NOW BEHIND BARS AT THE MARIN COUNTY JAIL..
HE’S CHARGED WITH KILLING HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND AND TAKING OFF WITH THEIR ONE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER… 
IT’S A STORY FILLED WITH TRAGEDY AND VIOLENCE.
A STORY OF WOMAN WHO TRIED BUT FAILED TO FIND SAFETY.

 

NOVATO, CA 
:10 GINA STAHL-RICCO / VICTIM’S FRIEND
:51 CHARLOTTE HUGGINS / VICTIM’S LAWYER
1:15 CLAUDIA STEVENS / VICTIM’S MOTHER
1:45 CAPTAIN JAMES BERG / NOVATO POLICE DEPT
CLAUDINE WANG / FOX NEWS (reporter not on cam/no tag)
————————————————————————————————————
IT WAS HERE ON DIABLO COURT… AT HER MOTHERS HOME… IN THE TOWN SHE GREW UP IN … THAT 29 YEAR OLD DANIELLE KELLER WAS TRYING TO CREATE A SAFE HOME FOR HERSELF AND HER BABY GIRL.

her baby was so sweet she was a really good mother…all about taking care of her :12

THERE WERE TEARS OF FRUSTATION ANGER AND REGRET THIS MORNING FROM FRIENDS… AS INVESTIGATORS SEARCHED FOR CLUES ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED HERE LAST NIGHT.

WHAT WE DO KNOW IS THAT A NEIGHBOR CALLED AFTER POLICEHEARING AN ASSAULT… POLICE GOT ON SCENE THREE MINUTES LATER AND FOUND DANIELLE WAS DEAD AND HER BABY GIRL GONE.

AN AMBER ALERT WAS CALLED FOR THE BABY AND THE LITTLE GIRLS FATHER 27 YEAR OLD JAMES MITCHELL.. A MAN WITH A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE.

MITCHELL ALREADY HAD ONE RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST FROM SAN FRANCISCO HIM.. AND AFTER HE FAILED TO SHOW UP FOR ANOTHER COURT APPEARANCE ON TUESDAY.. A MARIN COUNTY JUDGE ISSUED ANOTHER.

HE LIKELY GOT THAT NEWS ON SATURDAY.

AND THEN CAME SUNDAY… 

we’ve been worried and we lock… and he’s using drugs.. he’s a very .. big history :10

THE SUSPECT’S.. FATHER WAS PORN KING JIM MITCHELLL… WHO HAD HIS OWN VIOLENT PAST.

THE YOUNGER MITCHELL WAS FINALLY TRACKED DOWN IN CITRUS HEIGHTS… WHERE HE WAS ARRESTED WITHOUT INCIDENT… THE BABY GIRL WAS NOT HURT AND PUT IN PROTECTIVE CUSTODY.

what we were able to.. specifically citrus heights :16

TODAY AS THE INVESTIGATION PUSHES FORWARD…FAMILY MEMBERS ARE LEFT TO MOURN THE LOSS OF A YOUNG MOTHER WHO WAS SIMPLY SEARCHING FOR SAFETY.

i think she knew she was not in a good situation from what she told me

 

_____________________________

COMMENT:

Sometimes parents have custody orders or restraining orders, their children are taken, and the authorities do NOT issue an Amber Alert or help retrieve.  This comments on why, and may be a decent resource (not that I can afford their books!):  “http://www.aardvarc.org

How was I supposed to know? when my children were taken (violation of physical custody order — it consisted of felony child-stealing in the manner this particular one was done) and the police wouldn’t act, that I should’ve gone to court and asked the judge to order the police to act?  (I already had the custody order!!).  Then we got a family law attorney, a pricey-one, who got this judge, and had a captive audience, and didn’t ask for a bench warrant for the man’s arrest, but instead shunted me off to mediation !! (Where I then lost custody, having not even received an intake form, which would’ve allowed me to check “child-stealing,” although he most certainly was told of the situation — and still ignored it!)

Is it like a magic code — if you say the right words, it gets a certain result?

No, rather, there is more than meets the eye going on in this venue.  However, here’s a man from Texas, and AARDVARC response:

 

 

I have a TRO (Temp Restraining order) that was issued yesterday against the mother of my child. The order states that “the court having examined the affidavit of the petitioner (me) finds that pursuant to T.F.C. sec.105.001(c) ‘Good Cause’ exisist and it is, therefore, ORDERED that:   a. The clerk of this court issue an order attaching the bodies of the child of this suit and placing the child into the possession of the petitioner, and 
b. Respondent is hereby excluded from the possession of or access to the child until further orders of this court.”  

I have gone to the police and filed a report that I have the TRO and that my son is in imminent physical and emotional danger, yet they WILL NOT separate the child from his mother if I can find them. They stated that it is a civil matter and even if I had court orders that placed him in my custody full time, and her having no rights to our son, they would not intervene. The only recourse that I would have is to notify the court that she is in violation and then the court would take action. 

{{Huh?  Sounds like maybe the man didn’t serve her yet, but that’s an inappropriate response of the police!}   I’m sorry for my candor but WHAT THE HELL. This woman is emotionally unstable, abusing prescription painkillers and has a history of neglect. She gets wasted on pain pills and sleeps all day while my son walks the streets and the police cant do a damn thing!?!? She has stated that she is on her way to Canada but my son called his great grandmother yesterday and said they are in Oklahoma and headding back to the area that day.   

Someone PLEASE help me, what can I do to get an AMBER ALERT issued so I can get my son out of this dangerous situation? Reply or email me ASAP. I havent slept singe she “abducted” him from me on monday. I use the term losely because there are no standing custody orders. He only has the clothes on his back and she has no income but may have $650 and access to a car in my name.

 

First, has the order been SERVED to her? In other words, has she received notification FROM THE COURT that she’s not to have the child? Unless and until that happens, the rest is probably a moot point. Until the order is served, they’re typically not entered into the system and thus not even available for law enforcement to act upon, even if they’re standing right next to her.

Second, how police will react, once there is a valid and enforceable order, can depend on which “police” you’re talking about and exactly how the “finding” occurs. Is law enforcement going to go to her and get the child? No.

{{AMAZING!}}

However, should you happen to find them together, and you summon the sheriff’s office (a branch that is responsible for ENFORCING orders of the court) and they have to make a call at the scene, you can pretty much count on the child going home with you. City and municipal-based law enforcement agencies, while they may be able to act on CRIMINAL orders, will typically not get involved with CIVIL orders, like this one. In court-related matters or orders, particularly of a civil nature, the sheriff’s office is the route for assistance.

 

((I was already dealing with a sheriff’s office.  While possession is — evidently — 10/10ths of the law, I was dealing with a man I was genuinely afraid of, who used to hit and collect weapons, etc. and seemed to be escalating in the months prior to the snatch)).

 
Quote:
This woman is emotionally unstable, abusing prescription painkillers and has a history of neglect. She gets wasted on pain pills and sleeps all day while my son walks the streets and the police cant do a damn thing!?!?
 

And yet, after all this time, you’ve not pursued a formal custody case? 

Are we talking about a 12 year old or a 2 year old walking the streets? Is the child of school age and attending school? That alone makes a HUGE difference. Who has made reports to CPS about the child walking the streets? How many reports have been made? What was the outcome of those investigations? Were police called when the child was “walking the streets”? Did they find and return the child or report the neglect (again, the age of the child makes a difference here)?

As Mr. K points out, failure to abide by the court’s order could result in a warrant being issued. Still, that won’t have anyone out combing the street looking for her or the child. She’ll get nabbed just like 95% of other people with warrants: either she’ll have a brake light out or commit some traffic infraction, or, some “helpful” citizen will notify a law enforcement officer that “this is where she is right now, and she’s wanted”.

Finally, even the issuing of a civil order like this one generally doesn’t meet Amber alert standards – they too will regard this as a civil custody issue. If you’ve got some actual and credible threat against the child, they might consider it, but in absence of such, I wouldn’t get my hopes up for an Amber alert. Unless there are important details you’ve neglected to mention, the burden of IMMINENT physical danger is lacking (and emotional doesn’t count). It’s not going to be treated as an abduction since you didn’t HAVE custody to begin with – you got it after the fact (ergo it’s still a civil issue).

 

((Well this IS something to learn a few years later, although I most certainly had custody well prior to the fact. . . . . ))

 

 

 


(2 more headlines) Distraught and Distracted? A Domestic Dispute (or, the economy) made them do it? These 2 men seemed Organized and Coherent (“Cool, calm & collected”) before, and after, 3 planned murders, apparently.

leave a comment »

 

Good afternoon, Plano, Texas and other visitors, I hope you are well today.  I include a headline contest below for viewers of the 2nd article.  Submit via comments.

Unfortunately, 2 (more) bleeding headlines.

 

(1)  California, “not a hot-blooded event”

 

The day before the killing, he delivered flowers and candy to her, and said they could just be friends….after a 13-year relationship

Follow up to the “distraught by economy” “domestic dispute” version of a double-homicide this week:  She was trying to end a co-habiting relationship, and, unfortunately, worked in a toll booth on a busy bridge.  When jogged up and shot her to death, there wasn’t a ready exit. Yet the first article portrayed it as a “domestic dispute,” a real knee-jerk, inappropriate phrase.  Before I could point this out in a post, Demian Bulwa of the SF Chronicle straightened us readers out in a follow-up article:  This murdering man set up the situation, and the unidentified 2nd man murdered was a friend of the girlfriend, a kind male who had given the woman a ride to work (which, did the murderer have work?  So, she goes to work, and is killed there…)

I did no follow-up research, but reading the first article, could’ve laid money, if I had some, that it was indeed a cold-blooded assassination.  Even so, the article below uses the word “rampage.”  No, the DC Sniper was a rampage.  The Columbine shootings, maybe not.  This one.  He didn’t shoot bystanders, or motorists.  He had two targets, and made them.

Folks, that’s ALSO typically how domestic violence goes.  I hope someday we “get it” that having a nice chat with someone doesn’t mean a lot, even when it’s daily for years, in these matters.  Do we just not KNOW each other, and know how to assess character any more?  Or characterize an incident after character just showed up, with a loaded gun (and apparently — below, a knife too).  

 

Bridge killer set up slayings, prosecutor says

Demian Bulwa, Chronicle Staff Writer

Thursday, August 13, 2009

08-13) 13:51 PDT RICHMOND— Nathaniel Burris, the man accused of killing his ex-girlfriend and her male friend at the Richmond-San Rafael Bridge toll plaza, set up the rampage {sic} by slashing a tire on the man’s pickup truck so he could blast {kill.  the object was to kill.  The decibel level was not the main point} him with a shotgun as the victim waited for a tow service, a prosecutor said today.

(selections from the article):

The pickup truck belonged to 58-year-old Ersie Everette III of San Leandro, but was driven to the toll plaza Tuesday afternoon by Burris’s ex-girlfriend, Deborah Ross, a toll taker, said Contra Costa County prosecutor Hal Jewett.

Everette arrived later, having been dropped off by a co-worker after getting off his shift as a Golden Gate Transit bus driver, his family said.

Jewett said Burris, 46, punctured a tire on the truck, apparently with a knife, before Everette showed up, then hid where he could watch Everette though a pair of binoculars.

When Everette arrived and saw the damage, he called AAA for help, Jewett said. He was still waiting at 5:30 p.m when Burris approached and shot him once from close range, the prosecutor said.

{{I am so sorry that this individual, it appears did not suspect that his truck might have been chosen for a reason, rather than say, random violence.  Or that some other solution could’ve been had for fixing the tire.  There are down-sides sometimes to NOT being on alert.}}

According to police, Burris then jogged across traffic lanes to Ross’ toll booth and shot her several times before fleeing in a van that belonged to his employer, an airport shuttle company. He was arrested early Wednesday after he was spotted in the van on Interstate 80 in Placer County.

{{Can we deduce this man, driving for an airport shuttle company, did not have a criminal record?}}

Characterizing this crime as a tragedy is an understatement, particularly with the calculated and deliberate way he committed these crimes,” said Jewett, who heads his office’s homicide unit. “This was not a hot-blooded event but a cold-blooded series of killings, and we think the charges reflect that.

Ross, 51, and Burris were in a relationship for 13 years before she broke up with him just before the killings, Ross’ relatives said.  {{how much “just before”?}

The day before the shootings, Burris delivered flowers and candy to her in the Richmond townhouse a mile east of the toll plaza that they had shared, and said they could remain friends, Ross’ relatives said.

{{Just be friends after that long a relationship?  In general, don’t you believe that, ladies!  Well — are you SURE you know that guy?  If you were so sure, how come after years, the answer is, separate?}}{{and I do NOT know if tying the knot would make a difference or not.  At this point, I just do not.}}

{{Flowers and candy — if these aren’t normal, consider it a red flag?}}

Richmond police Sgt. Bisa French, a department spokeswoman, said it is not clear whether Ross was romantically involved with Everette.

{{Whether he was or not, he was probably perceived as such.  As helping her.  1. He was male, and 2.  he helped her.}}

Everette’s relatives said today that he and Ross had been engaged and had talked of marriage.

{{wait a minute — she broke up with him JUST before the killings, yet was ready to marry someone else, perhaps?  Although the two that were living together did NOT get married. . . .  That must’ve upset Burris….}}

Ross’ relatives, though, said the two had merely been friends from an Oakland church where Everette was a deacon.

{{Probably she shared about some of her troubles with Burris?  Was Burris going there too?  Was there a history of violence, or etc.  Were there really no indicators, or were people just not alert?}}

One of Ross’ sisters, Jane Walker of Oakland, said she was shocked to hear of the new allegations involving Burris.

“Oh my God, that’s scary to think that you can know someone all these years, and that they would plot and plan something like that,” she said. “He deserves whatever they give him. He’s not the person I thought I knew, and I’ll never forgive him.”

{{If my own family had similar sentiments, after I filed a domestic violence restraining order with kickout, I would not be here writing this blog.  We’d probably both — he, and me — have moved on in life without further escalations, child-stealing, fights around child support, and all that.  PROBABLY.  I tell you one thing that would probably be different.  I’d still be working in my profession, and have the children here.  But my own family, like MANY families, didn’t “get” the reality of the relationship}}{{Sorry, in their pain about their sister, but the thought comes to mind that NOW they are aware….}}{{What is the lesson here?  All that glitters is not gold?  People are not what they seem to be?  Nice guys can turn violent — or have criminal thoughts and act on them?}}

 

Burris is expected to be arraigned in a Martinez courtroom as soon as Friday morning. He is being held without bail at Contra Costa County Jail, where he declined a request for an interview today. Richmond police brought Burris back from Placer County on Wednesday evening.

The shotgun used in the killings was found in bushes under a window at the home of Burris’ mother, authorities said. Ross’ relatives said the mother lives in Sacramento. Efforts to reach her have been unsuccessful.

 

Read more:http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/08/13/BAHO1982PG.DTL&tsp=1#ixzz0O6stJgMK

(2) Pennsylvania, I think

I’m running a contest for the most appropriate,

subject line for this article.  Submit in comments.

Non-sarcastic entries will be summarily dismissed

as utterly inappropriate:


Murder suspect wants to place kids

By Liz Zemba, For The Valley Independent Wednesday, August 12, 2009

 

A Fayette County man accused of running over over his wife with his car and killing her wants his parents to have legal custody of two of his children.

 

>>>YES, they did a good job raising this man, and would be great prospects for raising the children of the woman he murdered.  There are no other decent, mature adults around with terrific track records of children they raised, who wouldn’t be tempted to backpedal (or have a conflict of interest) on the issue that, their Dad killed their Mom, but was really a nice guy at heart. Which is going to be something, an issue, those children will have to deal with.  

>>>By the way one reason I didn’t post yesterday (other than aftershock off the tollbooth shooting, and other work) another case came up of a woman being recalled from iceland over a custody battle with a U.S. father.  Hoping to find out more about that situation, I ran across a “cold case” (so to speak) from the 1990s, in which two Mormon parents snatched their daughters baby and took off to Iceland.  (Hanes/Shelton/Zenith). This had uncomfortable reminders, as in my case, when family members get a certain opinion of a certain generation, and decide they’re better parents than others.  Add to the mix, the poor Mormon grandmother was on her 6th husband couldn’t conceive, and tried to persuade her own daughter to donate some eggs.  Maybe I’ll post that one — it has a runway snatch, shows how CHURCH folk often protect their own (case in point, when my kids were stolen, more than one church group appears to have helped try to sanitize the situation).<<

In addition, Ronald Lee Higinbotham wants the cousins of a third adopted child to have custody of that youngster.

 

Can we “just say no” when the guy has, allegedly, just killed a woman, intentionally, with a car???  How far does co-parenting (only she’s dead) and “Fathers, get involved with your children” GO?  How about setting a little standard.  I PERSONALLY think that if a man can’t stop hitting his wife, he should lose access to his kids, and stop sugarcoating it.  I didn’t think this 7-8-9 years ago, but now in retrospect, it would save society a lot of grief (and grief counselor social services).  Can we at least say:  “IF YOU MURDER YOUR WIFE, YOU’RE OUT OF THE PICTURE, THIS IS JUST “OVER THE TOP, out in left field, WAY out of line:  GOT IT?”  You want to murder her, and then participate in some decision-making process about your kids?  No!!!  Not only will we not follow your suggestions, we are not interested in them.  Someone who hasn’t murdered recently, or been accused of it, will make decisions regarding your children.  I know we aren’t all perfectly insightful, but I suspect you likely aren’t at this point, OK?

Then maybe the next person who had a domestic dispute, or felt a sense of loss when she left, or it was the economy — (or maybe it was overentitled narcissism? ???  In action?  Or, maybe misogyny, I mean we had a single man elsewhere just walk in a gym and start spraying bullets at women — not men —  hitting some and killing them….. to assuage his feelings of rejection.  Until he also killed himself…)

So, it’s  – – – No, No — you kill your wife, you lose custody privileges.  TIME OUT!!!   It’s called a deterrent to the next asshole.  (Am I allowed to call someone who (allegedly) ran over his wife and killed her with a car a bad name?  If he’s innocent, then I retract the appellation.  If not, then I don’t. ) 

Has this yet been tried, consistently, across the board, across the nation?  YOu kill the woman, you lose visitation privileges AND any whiff of joint legal custody.  What, is the man now suddenly (how suddenly?) repentant and “concerned” for his kids?  Was killing the wife part of how he expressed concern for his kids?

Has anyone posed these questions at a conference of experts yet?  I know Jack Straton of Nomas did in 1992 re Supervised Visitation.  Was he not on the list in the ones deciding these things?  He had a Ph.D., isn’t that an entrance requirement? (or, MFT, or being in law enforcement, or Esq., etc.)  

This culture is expert at turning its backs on and shunning mothers trying to leave, particularly women from communities that base a lot of emphasis on families (as mine did, although I had a leg in the professional world, which I FOUGHT to keep in there).  I mean, as I’ve pointed out before, the white house was real good at shunning the word “mother” and “motherhood” from its game plan (except in the context of home visitation nurses, or getting the kids back to Early Head Start and Mom back to school).  LOOK:  just TRY it, try turning the  back on men that murder — at least for a LITTLE while.  Give them some alone time to think about what just happened.

Higinbotham, 44, of Brownsville, is charged by state police with criminal homicide in the hit-and-run death of his wife, 30-year-old Carmen Higinbotham.

 

LADIES:  I can be wrong, but I recommended (based on some headlines that keep popping up in this topic) sticking to men within 10 years of you.  It’s not a guarantee, but it MIGHT be a deterrent to being used as a baby-maker. I know prime time is prime time (apparently she was 21 for the first daughter by him, and he? had previous children too).  But, in the U.S., there should be other situations you can help develop yourself in, for the kids’ sakes.

In a criminal complaint, state police allege Higinbotham drove his 2000 Hyundai Tiburon over his wife shortly before midnight June 20 on Route 40 near 7235 National Pike, then left her to die.

 

Not just into, but over.  Not his “estranged” wife, but his wife.

Yes, I think every one should trust this man’s judgment and follow his suggestions about the disposition of offspring. That way they won’t lose touch with the man who murdered their Mom, or at least people related to him.  AND anyone, well, who put adopted children into his care.

Carmen Higinbotham was the mother of six children, including two of her own, two stepchildren and two who were adopted.

According to separate civil actions scheduled to be presented in Fayette County motions court today, Ron Higinbotham is the natural father of two of the children – a 9-year-old girl and a 6-year-old boy. He is the adoptive father of a third child, identified as a 15-year-old boy.

The two younger children are staying in West Brownsville with Ron Higinbotham’s parents, Patricia Ann and Donald Lee Higinbotham Sr., according to one of the filings.

In a separate civil action, Higinbotham wants a judge to grant custody of the adopted 15-year-old boy to the boy’s cousins. The boy’s cousins, Eric W. and Maxine R. Rosie, of Smithfield, already are caring for the teen, according to the civil filing.

Attached to both filings are custody agreements, both of which have been agreed to and signed by Ron Higinbotham.

 

He sounds very coherent and organized for someone who did such a deed.  I wonder if he got help from a “healthy marriage promoting responsible fatherhood” funding, or whether he will get help from “mentoring children of prisoners” programs either to encourage father/daughter/son contact in accord with our national policy that the TRUE social crisis of our time is “fatherlessness.”

 

Well, this is part of its face, and part of how SOME fatherlessness gets started.

He remains lodged in the Fayette County Prison without bond. {That’s reassuring, for now}.  He faces a preliminary hearing scheduled for 9 a.m. Aug. 28 before South Union Township District Judge Joseph George Jr.

 

{{I’m just a little speechless on how to summarize this one…. Help, readers…Analyze, comment, suggest: how could that question even come up?}}{{well, he has a right to file whatever civil action he wants to.  Just sounds real organized there, real together, or real, he got some help in that matter.  So how come women can’t get help on child support enforcement against a former ex, under current policy, if he falls into the “Father’s Return” policy target audience, eh?  90% of the “help” evaporates once a case gets into family law, and believe me, the word is out on that one.


I would’ve been SO much better not looking for help, at all, and just enrolling immediately in some law courses, while working, with children in the household, rebuilding a business, trying to establish boundaries, newer, healthier relationships, advocate for my daughters’ educations, after they’d been forced back into inferior situations (by this same persion) and healing from all that prior abuse.  I should’ve been sitting in a legal classroom rather than calling nonprofits, agencies, and so forth, the people assigned to take care of these situations.  Of course I’d have to do this during school hours while I was working, because women that work when are looked down upon in this venue for not being a homemaker.  They are also looked down upon for BEING homemakers, a situation that often puts them in need of child support, and vulnerable to secret bargaining with the access/visitation-mongers.

I made another serious mistake during a brief period of a single, evening job, duration about 2-3 hours, when both children were teens.  I said to my daughter, go ahead, go with your friend to her youth group.  BIG mistake.  Churches might as well have a target on the outside for stalkers and as a source of great, submissive, and needy 2nd wives, or people that will help such people down the road apiece in their quests.

That was SUCH a brief time, and it quite backfired for my situation. God bless the churches in this matter – — they are real faithful to those who come through the front doors, and real watchful also, to safeguard their flock from within and without (like the churches I was in while being battered at home those years).

 

After the emotions surrounding the latest femicide, homicide, aghast, we didn’t know, surprise, shock, grief, etc. (if there’s still some lost in the public bloodstream/ psyche), THEN what.  What action to take?  What insight to gain.  What policies to question.  What prevsiou assumptions to question about who you know how well?  Any – – – or none?  What’s the bottom line.

 

Here’s what the Bible says.  Of making many books there is no end, much study is weariness of the flesh.  Hear the words from a wise masterbuilder:  

Fear God, and keep his commandments:  this is the whole (duty) of man.

Ecclesiastes 12, end of the book.

 

From the mouth of Solomon son of David, whose father set the way for him to build the temple, lived a lavish life, possibly leaving descendants (more than possibly) in Ethiopia, had no end of women (wive and concubines both), even with all that concluded “vanity of vanity, all is vanity” and in the end helped burden and take down his kingdom, in great part through burdensome debt.  

He then had a son, Barack (EXCUSE me, Rehoboam), who when cautioned to ease up on the federal spending said, listened to his younger, progressive, utopia-minded advisors and retorted, “you ain’t seen nuttin’ yet, we will stimulate yet more economy” and under whose realm the kingdom split, possibly because of this.  Or because (it’s said) of all the other gods all those wives, making allegiances with other kingdoms, brought in.

It’s possible I have the facts (and probably I have the quote) quite wrong:  feel free to look them up, almost any version,or language, at 

http://bible.cc.

 

“The words of the wise are as goads, and as nails fastened by the masters of assemblies, given from one shepherd.  And further, by these, my son, be admonished:  of making many books, there is no end; and much study [including blogging] is weariness of the flesh.  Let us hear the conclusion of the matter:  Fear God, and keep his commandments for this is the whole of man.

For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good, or whether evil.

 

I’ve been in the legal system now almost 10 years.  One  thing I have noticed — there are very, very few situations that don’t correlate to situations already described in the Bible, if you understand principle, the heart of the matter.  Our culture is in many ways as polygamous as any other, and as sexist.  There is still war, there is still poverty, there are still many gods, and there is still no utopia.  

BUT – – –  BUT – – — in looking at the 10 Commandments (Exodus or Deuteronomy), nearly every one of them has a correlative in some criminal law, except the sabbath.  There is no law about adultery, that I know of, but men still kill when they feel cheated on, so I’d say that’s a caveat.  This is not related to whether or not they themselves may or may not be cheating.

AND, moreover, a person who does not believe there is a God, or there will be a judgment and that their secret places are going to remain secret – — who really, really doesn’t think that someone will find out, or if through cleverness, deceit, immunity, or simply accumulating cronies, and power — criminal behavior won’t be caught — that person is dangerous.  

Thou shalt not kill (any complaints with this one?)

Thou shalt not bear false witness (any complaints with that one?)

The two outside ones:  Thou shalt have no other gods before me –and thou shalt not covet — are probably the hardest.  

The Catholics get around the 2nd one, no graven images, by omitting it, and then patching up the 10th one to come up with 10 total.  I saw this engraved in stone, and thought it was an anomaly, til I heard George Carlin’s version of the 10.  (If anyone has a video link please SEND it!) 

Honor thy father AND thy mother — well family law just shot that one to hell.  …… in the name of “co-parenting” we will ignore the behavior of one parent and reward the other.  . . . OK. . . . . . .  

 

Is it really that complicated?

$2.4 million for designer families in California, and cut the shelter money (but not the money to the DV coalitions nationwide).

I found out yesterday that of that $2.4 million, it was taken from TANF funds.  Go figure!

Oh, and that about $2 million was going to a Poverty Court for the homeless in SF, rather than, say housing.  They have holding cells though (see “poormagazine.com”), for homeless people who are being a nuisance and committing crimes or misdemeanors.  This should of course be a blog.

We are supposed to have as a nation a degree of self-discipline and self-control.  To encourage that, we are so confused about religion in the public schools, we supposedly eliminate this.  Then put back in Character Education to replace it.  The 10 Commandments are thrown out of a courthouse (after a lot of arguing), but the faith-based groups have a welcome home when it comes to both making and enabling policies.

Whatever happened to inalienable rights, and let us figure the rest out, for example how to get up, sit down, go out, come back, and raise our kids?  If we break a law, then punishment, if we don’t, then none.  

Although I did vote, and did catch a good deal of the last Presidential Election, I have not had a reprieve from “family court matters” yet.  I did, however, notice the Messianic promises of our current president (for whom, by the way, I voted.  And by whom, presently, as a former single “female-headed, father-absent” household, I feel betrayed.  I did not expect this person to confuse his background with the background of women who left because of violence and don’t feel like re-engaging.

For one, we also don’t, some of us, want to end up like the woman on the road above, or the woman in the tollbooth.  We don’t want our children to be emotional OR literal orphans as to their mothers.  WHAT is so hard to understand about that, National Fatherhood Initiative (and your nonprofit, governmental-agency offspring)? And why is the OVW (Office of Violence Against Women) curtsying towards this movement, as I last heard in an NCADV policy alert about funds to shelters being cut — a high-ranking woman in the office visited President Obama’s Town Hall on Fatherhood.  Take a stand with the rest of us and stop giving an audience to doctrines that get women killed.  Stop talking about “preventing” violence and do the right thing once it happens – – stop TALKING about accountability and let’s say that killing and beating and stalking and all this really IS wrong.

 

And let’s get that message into the family law system, or get the people running the place out of their offices and make them spend a few days in a shelter, or in a soup line, and ask women there how they got homeless. (The former was done, at least an overnight, once in NYS, I heard). OR, let’s get the homeless and others from the shelters (not just a single, sanitized spokesperson, or maybe two) and see what they look like, into these conferences — EVERY one of them — on what to do about all the poor folk.  We will personally explain (without threats) what we think of all this, and about being threatened ty the system after we have been threatened by individuals for thinking that we can think, and THINKING that it would be better to totally separate the batterer — not the reporter — from minor children for a least a very significant season, and too bad if this is sad for him, he should’ve thought before lashing out with kids around.  Or without them.

A recent joke (well, not that recent) going around a certain county, where they help people who lack food EAT, that the county was seeking volunteers to count the homeless.  They felt that this count might be better done by a few of them (and for pay, too).  

While I realize that there’s not an identified presence in any system for Burris, or that I know of for the other person here, I still say, let’s re-route some of those diverted funds that discuss “what to do” into “doing.”  For example, a year ago, I would’ve been content with a SINGLE (let alone 3 in a row) unemployment checks.  All I wanted then was phone and internet sufficient to keep going in a business I was already jumpstarted.  Years of living so marginalized through this system (NOT “the economy, I guarantee you in this case”) and with total chaos in relationships made building anything much up (with weekly visitations, any one causing an incident?) a moot point.

To “solve” this I now have no access to either child and am expected to buck up and do it again, and forget that for the past many years, each successive time I did so, it escalated and was stopped.  What was that, family entertainment?  

(end of whine).

The question is not, is the topic getting national attention.  It is.  The question is, what use is being made of all the funds that follow the loudest, or best connected, speakers?  A nation of non-investigating sheep is going to get sheared.  Then complain about the cold.  Complaining about the cold doesn’t make it much warmer.  Find out who are the sheep-shearers, and take the scissors.

http://usaspending.gov

http://taggs.hhs.gov 

And your local county business offices, etc.

Cross-check data between the two databases (which ain’t easy; yesterday I saw a missing $2.342 million in one state, marriage funding, from one database, different recipient names, one listing of programs is by program number, the other alphabetical by program name, but done inconsistently.  The years covered are not the same.  A program which receives MILLIONS in funding, and has for many, many years is not searchable in one.  The other one, you can search awards by number, but not get a description, however it appears to have more spreadsheet type functions, the other alllows one to sort on many more fields, but not total reports, etc.

(that’s only a start)

etc.

 

 

 



Until you have talked to a law enforcement officer, with guns, holding the immediate future or your children in (his) authority, realized he knows who has custody, and watch him and his friends turn down your requests to honor this, and thereafter ask a district attorney to do th esame thing:  Honor and existing custody order and file a report to get them back — it’s just something, that’s all.

 

And then just watch how aggressive and persistent the follow-up is when it’s serve and collect vs. serve and protect, same area.  Who were all those laws for, exactly?  ??  And why can’t our country do a little better than a single abusive family system did the prior decade?  Or better than a few religious institutions, in this single matter, single case.

 

Ah well, of making many books . . . . . . 

Don’t forget the headline contest, though….

 

 

 

Yes, we SHOULD call them “restraining order suggestions” (Certifiably Insane Protection Orders in MN; meanwhile, more “Fatherhood” in KS) [[Orig. Aug. 7, 2009]].

with 25 comments

[[Title & Shortlink added Dec. 1, 2023 to refer to this post]]

[Feb. 17, 2016 UPDATE NOTES:


This post originally published over five years ago — on August 7, 2009.  For more recent focus of this blog, see more recent posts (2016, 2014) which focus on systems operations, and consolidation of economic power from outside state lines (divorce and custody remaining under state jurisdiction, as well as domestic violence prevention orders).


I am currently working on posts regarding the Greenbook Initiative (2000-2008) and involved parties, on the NCJFCJ, on IDVAAC, and the “DV cartel” as identified by its participants (centralized, coordinated, and stuck in a policy rut) on the HHS and USDOJ grants stream.


I look up nonprofit organizations functioning as social policy conduits for a small group of inter-related professionals who cut deals with each other on what to minimize, what to focus on.  These represent a much larger pattern throughout government, not just relating to domestic violence itself.


Many times by the time individuals find out about the policy deals that were cut, their lives, or kids are “gone.”  If not physically, often in all the other critical aspects of life which people NOT entrenched in some of these systems may still take for granted.  For example, the ability to get to and from, and hold a job once one has been hired, or completing projects for clients inbetween police events, court hearings, and ongoing threats to one’s personal safety and particularly, financial survival (i.e., ability to sustain food, housing, transportation, etc.). This comment added 2/17/2016 //LGH]

THIS POST IS: Yes, we SHOULD call them “restraining order suggestions” (Certifiably Insane Protection Orders in MN; meanwhile, more “Fatherhood” in KS) [[Orig. Aug. 7, 2009]].

(Short-link ends “-ez” and post is about 10,600 words.  Including many quotes…and the text of a Kansas Senate Bill starting a “Fatherhood Initiative” — and the entire text of the U.S. Declaration of Independence (trying to see if there’s a disconnect somewhere between those two?)

I also respond to some news articles at length on the timeline in the first article shown below.) (Parts of this post also refer to the Inter-American Council on Human Rights (IACHR) for a domestic violence (“DV”) case from Kansas (Claudine Dombrowski) which appealed that high up for justice…) //LGH 12/1/23.


Today’s [Aug. 2009] headlines are right on topic with yesterday’s post. . . and the one referenced above….

Mr & Mrs. OUELETTEs, MINNESOTA, 2 accounts of 2,100 on the web, from Kare11News.

(1) Wife had order of protection against husband prior to murder-suicide

(2)  Harris man gave up guns before strangling wife, hanging himself

Well, I swore I was NOT going to blog on this today, but I fear that these are indeed possibly copy-cat murder/suicides.  It is now “out there” in the news as a possible way out of an emotionally embarrassing and humiliating situation.

Read THIS one, and then see if you can tell which parts were certifiably insane public policy, and how many warning signs people ignored.

And I’ll tell you why this one chills me, and makes me glad to be alive today.

(TOP of post — Minnesota.  BOTTOM — Kansas.

They relate.)

Blogger’s Preface

At this point, it seems to be “certifiably insane public policy” to expect women to trust, or men to respect, such restraining orders, when clearly they don’t — I already blogged on this re: the woman in Pennsylvania who fought back.

Recently, I wrote about a father accused of molesting his (teenaged) daughter who, seeing as she was only moved 2 doors down, and into the home of a man that used to be the same father’s employee (say, what???!?).   Within one week, Dad had killed: daughter, foster father and himself, and almost killed foster mother, too.  So THAT helpful ruling got 3 people dead and one injury.

Great going, child protective services in that region of Tennessee.

Here’s another one that slipped through the cracks somehow, and at several different points.  What “gets” me about this one is realizing several domestic violence prevention groups, nonprofits, that have been getting millions upon millions of federal dollars, over at least a decade in grants to provent violence locally, rurally, and in Indian tribes, as well as technical assistance grants to, I guess, “get the word out.”

So far, I can see they are doing a great job with putting together literature that’s already on the web somewhere, positioning themselves as the experts, consulting in private with other professionals about what to do, and keeping a body count.  Which hasn’t substantially changed (per these counts) statewide in Minnesota within a decade.

So either the state is raising more suicidal or unable-to-handle-stress people, or immature young adults who then continue the immaturity into adulthood and parenthood (referring to the fathers in this case), or something. . . . . . Or so many people are being born each day that they STILL don’t know the warning signs of danger, and are talked into minimizing them.

Let’s maybe add ONE more “lethality risk” — trusting in protection orders to start with.  

That’s for the courts and for the women alike.  And encouraging a woman to do so (or continuing to present them as viable alternatives — when in fact they are panaceas too often) also places her in risk, given the facts.  Ignorance of them is NOT bliss. . . .

When police DO respond in time, they run the risk of death themselves.  When they do NOT respond in time, typically Mom, and sometimes Dad, are killed, and sometimes more.  Or otherwise traumatized.  SO . . . . .   what else is available?

CONSIDER THIS ONE:

  • State:  Minnesota
  • Body Count:  2, no responding officers or bystanders killed this time.
  • Orphans:  3, ages 10 (boy), 8 & 8 (twin girls)
  • Who are they now living with?  Relatives.
  • Did they witness the murder  – – of their mother by their father, YES, the girls
  • Did they try to intervene and fail? – — YES, an 8 year old girl tried to save her mother.
  • Was 911 called? – — YES, by an 8 year old daughter?

 

  • Was the call heeded (it seems No), or interfered with (yes, by the father)? – – – read below.
  • Was that restraining order as written certifiably insane?  – — ABSOLUTELY.  (And it seems identical to the one I got many years ago.)
  • Does making a restrained person turn in his or her guns always save a life? – — NO.  Other weapons also can kill (apparently here, hands).
  • Or, a person not allowed to get a gun could get a friend’s (or in a recent case girlfriend’s gun).

 

  • Are risk assessments going to redeem lives from living in fear (or being lost)?  – – – I’m  not sure.  I’m of the current opinion, NO, unless the woman herself takes them seriously and takes serious actions not reliant on 911 to ensure safety.

So, let’s talk about the body counts vis-a-vis the legal terminology:

When you think about it, and read the results, even calling these things “protection orders” makes zero sense.  They are restraint requests.  A man without restraint is ordered in public by a judge to show restraint.

WHO is to protect, in “protection order”?  The power of the state?  Does the state, like God, declare “protection” exists because it ordered this?  And is the state, in so doing, lying to the protected parties?

I think so, basically.  

Here’s a perhaps (I ALWAYS say “perhaps,” or try to) more viable protection order:

A trained, armed mother with an attitude to match, telling the man who just received the judicial order, that she is going to take the boundaries of the property seriously, and understands all laws regarding the 2nd amendment, and any contingencies.  IN other words, she needs to be more determined and more aggressive than the person who formerly attacked or threatened her.

So do the people surrounding or dealing with her on this issue.

Alternately, a “not in the same state” “county” “500 mile radius” mother, and kids.  And the kids could be told the truth about why this is happening, in age-appropriate terms but without name-calling or derogatory treatment of their father.

But of course that would screw up “access visitation” and “National Fathers Return Days” somewhat….

NOW, this mindset is not typically the state of a woman who has gotten to the point of requesting such an order from her husband, right? The request for an order represents to an abuser an ESCALATION in OPPOSITION to SUBMISSION.  How’s he likely to respond?

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