Posts Tagged ‘retaliation for reporting’
Toms River NJ femicide/suicide post-mortem concludes strangled DYFS worker should’ve hooked up with “agencies such as ourselves”
She “did everything right,” filed a protective order and “reported every violation,” and even moved out of a home she owned, but still her death was her fault, because she (being a state employee) didn’t hook up with “agencies such as ourselves” to develop a safety plan. it wasn’t the county prosecutor’s fault because, well, sometimes domestic violence just “spirals out of control.” It wasn’t her coworkers’ faults (I don’t say that it was), because they (self-report) they were concerned and talking about intervention. it wasn’t any police officer’s fault, because bail should’ve been set higher. It wasn’t, as far as I can tell, anyone’s fault, is the general conclusion.
It is a self-defense mechanism, and entirely human, to ask “why” when something this horrific happens. It challenges a lot of theories (myths?) about the field of “domestic violence” and shakes up one’s confidence in authorities that were supposedly handling these problems so the rest of us could get about our lives.
Clearly it is in the interest of the stability of the social fabric (at least for those not IN such relationships currently, for whom stability basically doesn’t really exist outside the self-created kind) that said authorities should be interviewed, published, do press conferences and give an explanation. Then the public can accept their explanation, or ease all but the most persistent of interests, and go about their business, while the police, prosecutors, judges, and others continue to go about THEIR business of issuing protective orders that don’t protect, and releasing people with clear criminal intent and identified disrect for the law, on their own “recognizance.”
Case in point, this suicidal/murdering father was known to be a check-bouncer and significantly behind on child support. When he came up with $1,500 bail, why were no questions asked about why he could raise a bit less than that for his past-due support? He had 3 sons.
Why would not, of all places, the coworkers at DFYS where she worked, not see that this man was seeing $$ in a relationship, even though she herself may have thought this meant “love.” (or companionship).
Here’s the article, then my commentary/questions — below it. This is the 3rd article I’ve posted on the Zindell/Frisco situation in Toms River, NJ.
August 17, 2009
Toms River murder-suicide highlights domestic violence cycle
{{That’s ONE spin. I personally — from afar — think it actually highlights system failure, and inexcusable system failure, too. What about ‘evidence-based practice in this field, in NJ?}}
Victim worked for DYFS
By MARGARET F. BONAFIDE
STAFF WRITER “(APP.COM news — see link above)The murder this week of 30-year-old Letizia “Lisa” Zindell “rattled the public” because the victim was both educated and knowledgeable in the cycle of domestic violence, said Mary Pettrow, associate director of Providence House Domestic Violence Services of Catholic Charities.
Zindell held a master’s degree in criminal justice and was about to earn her second master’s degree in social work. She worked for the state Division of Youth and Family Services.
“To think, “How can a DYFS worker be a victim of domestic violence?’ ” stunned people, Pettrow said. “There are a lot of professional women who are victims of domestic violence.”
People think domestic abuse is “just physical violence,” Pettrow said. “But often, it is much more subtle. Abusers attempt to control the important aspects of their partner’s life using intimidation or threats and other psychological and emotional tactics.
“Even if you have not been hit, the cycle of violence exists,” Pettrow continued. “There is tension, a verbal or physical assault, then contrition. It is subtle. Over a period of time, that escalates.”
That escalation took its double-deadly toll, police believe, some time after 10 p.m. Wednesday night. The man whom police believe killed Zindell, Frank Frisco Jr., had been released from jail that night about 5 p.m.
Frisco, 36, was being held on restraining order violations and child support arrears, among other fourth-degree crimes.
Zindell was discovered strangled to death Thursday afternoon in the back seat of her car, which was parked in a friend’s driveway in the Penny Layne condominium complex in the East Dover section. A short time later, police found a suicide note in her Lafayette Avenue home penned by her ex-fiance, Frisco, against whom she had a restraining order. Police found Frisco hanged to death in the detached garage.
Friends said that Frisco’s growing control issues and instability had escalated to a display of rage against Zindell in front of his and her family and friends at a party after the couple’s rehearsal dinner. The next morning, Zindell called guests to say the scheduled June 21 wedding was off.
She moved out of the home she owned, leaving him behind, and stayed with friends at the condominium complex where her body was found Thursday. She filed a restraining order against Frisco and called police every time he violated it, friends said.
He had been jailed each time and was placed as an inpatient at a local mental health facility on at least one occasion since Zindell ended the relationship hours before their scheduled June 21 wedding, authorities.
“She did everything right,” as far as restraining orders go, said Kevin Arnold, an Island Heights police officer and resident. He has known the Zindell family since she was a youth. Zindell worked with Brooke Arnold, Kevin’s wife, at DYFS.
At work, Zindell’s life was excelling. She was promoted to take Brooke Arnold’s place following Arnold’s promotion.
Prior to the breakup, Zindell’s co-workers were genuinely concerned for her.
Before Zindell called off the wedding, “We were talking about interventions,” Brooke Arnold said. “He manipulated her so she could not talk to anyone. And she is an extremely, extremely intelligent person. It makes you think if this could happen to Lisa, it could happen to anybody.”
“What is distressing is this is a typical cycle of domestic violence. . . . It just spiraled out of control,” Ocean County Prosecutor Marlene Lynch Ford said at a news conference held after the discovery of the two bodies. “The initial violations did not involve acts of tremendous violence, but consistent with what we know about domestic abuse, it often starts out with harassment that often spirals into violence, and that’s exactly what happened here.”
“She was just really well-rounded, from a good famly, and he bled her dry,” Brooke Arnold said. “Something just needs to be done about restraining orders. His bail” was too low.
“These kind of (controlling) behaviors, if not addressed, over a period of time escalate and become physical,” Pettrow said.
“Anyone who came in contact with her, loved her,” said Angela Sarantinoudis, a co-worker at DYFS. “She was personable and down to earth. She was committed to her job and clients.”
“One of the hardest things in this story, is she had the world in front of her with access to resources we deal with with clients everyday. But she was not a client,” Sarantinoudis said.
Breaking the cycle of violence without support is extremely hard, Pettrow said.
“It is necessary to link up with agencies such as ours to create safety plans to break the cycle of violence,” Pettrow said.
“This is a heart-breaking tragedy for our agency as well,” Pettrow said. “Our hearts go out to her family. Help is only a phone call away. Take steps to prevent the cycle of violence before it is spiraling out of the control.”
The Providence House Hotline is 732-244-8259 or is toll free at (800) 246-8910.
All services are free and confidential.
I would like to share my dialogue on reading the post-mortems of this account:
First of all, any sense that in Ocean County, the word isn’t out about this type of crime, should be made clear:
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CASES REPORTED BY NEW JERSEY STAR LEDGER RESULTING IN MURDER-SUICIDE FROM 1998-2008
(The Blood & Tears of Domestic Violence: A Survivor’s Revelation)(note: she has a Victim Safety plan as well, read a few paragraphs: http://www.DonnaSavage.com)
2008/06/28… Man who allegedly killed his wife at YMCA was under court restraint
The man who allegedly shot and killed his estranged wife Thursday night as she watched her son in a YMCA swim class had a court order forbidding
him from having any contact with her, law enforcement officials said yesterday.2007/06/02 Sat Man in murder-suicide distraught over woman PERTH AMBOY: A man who fatally shot a woman May 26 and wounded three other people before fatally turning the gun on himself was apparently distraught over his failed relationship with the woman,…
2007/01/22 Mon Attack on estranged wife is foiled — Police report a phone call saves woman from assault, fire set by her husband. …Reza forced his wife into the basement, where he held her captive and tried to sexually assault her at knifepoint, police said. But a friend’s chance phone call and the woman’s panicked screams stopped what authorities said could have been a murder-suicide.”The way this fire was starting to move . if another couple of minutes had gone by, we would’ve been dealing with a couple people (trapped by fire) in the basement,” Police Chief Joseph Clark said yesterday. (Geographic location unclear from summary)
2007/01/08 Mon Motive for killing Ocean Gate family is unclear, police say —
…Suspected murder-suicide is Ocean County’s third in four months …motives for the killings is unclear. While one neighbor remembers hearing the husband and wife argue loudly and into the night, others described them as a happy couple. Though violent crime is a rarity in Ocean Gate, population 2,100, the deaths were the third murder-suicide in Ocean County in four months. Shellhamer, who attended the couple’s wedding, called the pair “very nice, pleasant people.” Kyle, she said, used to play in the yard with her two sons. Married last April, Peckham and…2007/01/07 Sun A woman, her young son and her boyfriend were found dead inside an Ocean County home
… was released from the Somerset County Jail yesterday after posting 10 percent of $10,000 bail. Couple, boy found dead in Ocean County home. A woman, her young son and her boyfriend were found dead inside an Ocean County home yesterday in an apparent murder-suicide. Jeff Eyerly, 46, was found hanged inside the East Point Pleasant Avenue home in Ocean Gate, authorities told the Asbury Park Press of Neptune for a story posted on their Web site. The bodies of Carol Ann Peckham, 41,…2006/09/22 Fri Couple shot to death in Lacey — Case apparently a murder-suicide
… went frightfully wrong. After an argument, David Walters followed his wife into the garage and shot her in the head, authorities said. He then turned the gun on himself. Ocean County Prosecutor Thomas Kelaher called the deaths an “apparent murder-suicide.” Neither he nor Lacey Township Police Chief William Nally knew what caused the argument. David Walters did not leave a suicide note, Nally said. “Why wouldn’t he just walk away? What could be so bad that he couldn’t just walk…
2006/05/05 Fri Shock and mourning follow Middlesex murder-suicide
TOM HAYDON, SULEMAN DIN AND NAWAL QAROONI STAR-LEDGER STAFF Their romance started with a personal ad in a newspaper and quickly led to a wedding in a Las Vegas chapel. But their marriage was turbulent, neighbors and friends said, leading Donna Palladino to seek a restraining order against her 32-year-old husband, Joseph Palladino Jr. Less than 24 hours after he was served with the order, Palladino killed his 36-year-old estranged wife
early Wednesday morning, stabbing her between…2006/05/04 Thu MURDER-SUICIDE LEAVES THREE DEAD IN AMBOYS — Woodbridge man kills estranged wife, her mom and himself
… Donna Palladino, who lived in Barnegat, had been staying with her mother in the South Amboy home since her father’s death. William Beckmann’s wake was to be held yesterday and his funeral today. Both were postponed. Yesterday’s murder-suicide came less than a day after Joseph Palladino was served with a final restraining order his wife had obtained in Ocean County. The order was the result of threats her estranged husband had made against her in telephone conversations,…2004/03/29 Mon Violent marriage ends with murder-suicide
… STAR-LEDGER STAFF A marriage marked by domestic violence ended with a husband stabbing his wife more than two dozen times, killing her before fatally stabbing himself, Ocean County authorities said. An autopsy performed Friday, two days after the murder-suicide in Forked River, Lacey Township, showed that 37-year-old Kurt Rosenberger stabbed 33-year-old Kathleen Rosenberger 28 times, said Lt. Robert Urie, a spokesman for the Ocean County Prosecutor’s Office2003/10/26 Sun Couple die in apparent murder-suicide — Authorities say husband shot wife, himself in the presence of toddler granddaughter
… In this story about a murder-suicide in Elizabeth, the gender of a 2-year-old child found in the house with dead grandparents was misidentified due to incorrect information provided by the Union County Prosecutor’s Office. The child was a boy, not a girl. A man with a history of domestic violence apparently shot his wife and then himself yesterday, leaving their distraught 2-year-old granddaughter trapped in their Elizabeth apartment… ..2000/05/16 Tue No charges for Seton guards in abduction — Police: Inaction cost precious time in case that led to murder-suicide
… yesterday they could not press charges against a security guard and his supervisor who apparently ignored pleas for help from a witness to last week’s abduction of a Seton Hall University student. The victim was later killed by her ex-boyfriend in a murder-suicide at his Westfield apartment. ‘We really don’t have a charge to file against them,” said Lt. Frank Brunelle of the Westfield Police Department, the agency leading the investigation. As Christopher Honrath, 24, forced Sohayla…((AND SO FORTH))
NOW REGARDING TOMS RIVER 2009:
Sources of commentary (per this article):
Ocean County Prosecutor comments:
“”What is distressing is this is a typical cycle of domestic violence. . . . It just spiraled out of control,” Ocean County Prosecutor Marlene Lynch Ford said at a news conference held after the discovery of the two bodies. “The initial violations did not involve acts of tremendous violence, but consistent with what we know about domestic abuse, it often starts out with harassment that often spirals into violence, and that’s exactly what happened here.”
{{note” The initial violations did not involve acts of tremendous violence” . notice attitude. This is what i ran across in my own case, when I attempted to tell police, in an incident that I took violations of court orders seriously. I also took threats to abduct seriously. Too bad they chose not to. I have explained to a policeman in a situation that because of the background of DV (and this was a situation that frightened me and had me trapped at home in a cul de sac situation without a vehicle to escape with) I am taking this seriously. It was “blown off.” This “blowing it off” response by a single policeman in my area was taken, apparently, as a declaration of “open season” for that season, and since, culminating — let’s hope — in felony child-stealing one and a half years later, as my reports of concern about that ALSO were “blown off”, shouted down, etc.
SO, . . ..
My question, to this response:
1. Who is Prosecutor Marlene Lynch Ford, and what does her (press conference statement) exonerating any type of legal/judicial/ or law enforcement miscarriage mean by “it just spiraled out of control” refer to specifically? Because it seems to me that a man was put into a mental hospital, when incarceration (without bail) would’ve been more appropriate, given the “lethality indicators” in his case. That’s my opinion.
2. How could a prosecutor be unaware of the prior lethality indicators in this case — was it lack of training? Was she so young and just unaware that economic abuse is an indicator, and that the love of money might be a motivator? My take on the situation was that someone in the police/legal community WANTED this woman dead, because otherwise, they would’ve taken appropriate measures to make sure she was not killed. How did her stalker know where she lived, since she’d left her own home (per this article), etc.
//www.georgian.edu/georgian/2007/cent_content.aspx?id=10479
Marlene Lynch Ford ’76
In June 2007, Marlene Lynch Ford was nominated by New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine to be Ocean County Prosecutor, a position she still holds today. Prosecutor Ford graduated magna cum laude with a B.A. in History from Georgian
Court College and was the recipient of the Departmental Award for the Department of History, Economics, and Political Science. She pursued her dream of becoming a lawyer and earned her juris doctorate from Seton Hall University School of Law in 1979 {for non-locals, I believe Seton Hall is a well-known, well-respected Catholic University in NJ}.
PERSONAL QUALITY: SMART!
Prosecutor Ford practiced law in Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey, before a successful run for the General Assembly in 1983, becoming the youngest women (sic) ever elected to the New Jersey Legislature at the age of 29. She served two terms representing the 10th Legislative District in Ocean County. During her first term, she ensured {HOW? By authoring them? Pushing for their passage? Which bills?}} that more bills were signed into law than any other first-term legislator.
PERSONAL QUALITY OR CONNECTIONS: POLITICALLY SUCCESSFUL
During her second term, she chaired the Assembly Judiciary Committee {{INTERESTING!}}and sponsored over 75 bills that were signed into law, including the Domestic Violence Prevention Act of 1990 {{Note: Amazing: this is before the 1994 VAWA act was passed}} ; the Victims Rights amendment to the New Jersey Constitution; and the Ford Act, the largest tax reduction at that time in New Jersey history.
PERSONAL QUALITY: ACTIVIST, PARTICULARLY IN DV AREA
Prosecutor Ford was nominated by Governor Jim Florio to be a Superior Court judge in 1992, and she served in the family division for four years and the civil division for ten years.
PERSONAL QUALITY: Well, the Governor liked her, obviously, or got her a judgeship. Comments (i.e., speculation on my part): JUDICIAL experience in the family law division. NOT exactly (if anything like other parts of the country) a place that is tough on criminal enforcements, one might think. I would love to see how those various cases went. . .
She was honored by New Jersey Monthly Magazine in 1992 as one of New Jersey’s Heroes for her role in expanding the rights of people to fair housing and employment, regardless of their sexual orientation. In 2006, she was promoted to presiding judge of the family division. She also served as the chair of the Committee on Model Civil Jury Charges and chair of the Supreme Court Advisory Committee on Outside Activities of Judiciary Personnel. (the what??) Georgian Court University awarded her the degree of Doctor of Laws, honoris causa, for her outstanding legislative and judicial work on behalf of the citizens of New Jersey in 2006.
Summary courtesy:
Has Prosecutor Lynch Ford had a family?
COMMENT FROM: Catholic Charities Providence House Domestic Violence Services Associate Director, Mary Pettrow:
The murder this week of 30-year-old Letizia “Lisa” Zindell “rattled the public” because the victim was both educated and knowledgeable in the cycle of domestic violence, said Mary Pettrow, associate director of Providence House Domestic Violence Services of Catholic Charities.
From what I can see, Mary Pettrow is very experienced and understands the dangers of domestic violence, AND the word was out in Ocean County, among the powers that be. I searched, and found 11 categories of help through this Providence House listed in Ocean County alone! through Catholic Charities. They appear to be a press go-to resource after another DV murder. This one, in 2006 in which, of course, the neighbors and police had no idea. . ..
Neighbors, police had no indication of domestic problems
September 22, 2006
The Asbury Park Press consulted with Mary Pettrow of Providence House for an article on the murder of a Lacey Township woman. Pettrow told the Press that domestic violence is often a progressive pattern and that “warning signs are not always apparent to outside people.”
CRIMINAL DEFENSE TO DV CHARGES IN OCEAN COUNTY — A FACTOR IN THE CASE??
In my attempt to look up who that was in Lacey township in 2006, I came across this Criminal Defense firm, stating that while Northern NJ has plenty of lawyers, who’s a person accused of something to turn to in Southern (incl. Ocean County) Jersey?
(NOTE: the list of incidents above, dating back to 2000 was also found in my attempt to find out more about the 2006 this same Providence House associate director/director, had been consulted about 3 years earlier.)
Ocean County is a great place to live and practice law. The crime rate is low, especially for serious crimes. Many people that are facing criminal charges do not have the money for private attorneys. As a result, there are almost no attorneys that solely practice criminal law in Ocean County. In addition, it seems that very few attorneys who focus a majority of their practice in northern New Jersey counties venture down to the court in Toms River. Will you get an attorney that will fight for you?
At Jack Venturi & Associates, we live and practice in Ocean County. Our criminal defense attorneys are proud to bring a tough and aggressive style of practice to Toms River and Ocean County as we believe that defendants in Ocean County deserve quality representation without having to break the bank.
And here’s their assertions of how aggressively they will defend against “domestic abuse” (notice: not “domestic violence”) in this Southern NJ shore area. While it is actually domestic VIOLENCE (even in the title to this section), notice how in the text it becomes “abuse” which somehow doesn’t sound so, well, you know, ‘violent.” NOTE: this isn’t accidental. NOTE: Well-known (and well-funded) DV group out of Minnesota has a well-known “Domestic ABUSE Intervention Program”, as is a different, “Domestic Abuse Project” out of Minneapolis with a well-known author in the field (Edleson, if I”m not mistaken — which I might be). Whether this is simply in those cases because a vowell makes a better acronym than the letter “V,” or because of ain intention to downgrade the severity of the issue in the public’s minds (i.e., in their language describing it), I cannot say, in that case at least. But I am on alert for the terminology-switch, for sure. This a criminal defense attorney firm (and domestic VIOLENCE is a crime — either felony, or misdemeanor) (and it sometimes escalates up to death(s)), so when that entity chooses to downgrade the term, I notice.
New Jersey Domestic Violence Defense Attorneys
In New Jersey, a family or domestic abuse charge can be a serious offense with long-lasting and life-altering penalties. If you have been charged or are facing domestic violence charges in any court in New Jersey, you should make sure that you have the most aggressive and effective domestic violence defense lawyers on your side. At Jack Venturi & Associates, our attorneys provide criminal court and family court defense to clients in domestic abuse cases. With offices in Toms River, New Brunswick, Eatontown & Princeton, we can represent you in any court in New Jersey.
A domestic abuse charge can affect your employment, your family, and the rest of your life. You should make sure that you come to court prepared to make the most compelling defense on your behalf. Contact Jack Venturi & Associates to meet with our attorneys and start preparing your defense today.
Click here to read about the recent success that our domestic violence defense attorneys have had in New Jersey.
We understand that every case is unique; every case is different. Our attorneys will take the time to know you and your family and help prepare the best defense in your case. With our assistance you can be rest assured that you are entering court armed with attorneys who know how to present your side of the story. Our New Jersey domestic violence restrain[in]g order defense attorneys can assist you with any of the following charges:
- Domestic abuse {Good grief which is it? This website is training applicants how to name it, I gather}
- Harassment
- Stalking
- Restraining orders: temporary restraining orders and final restraining orders
- Child neglect
- Domestic disputes {translation: what the first press release after a murder calls it, case in point, see “California” – on my recent blog/ toll booth shooting initially was characterized in news as arising from a “domestic dispute,” i.e., she somehow provoked him while at her job in an enclosed toll booth. The next report characterized it quite the opposite.}
- Child abuse
- Domestic disturbance
{{NOTE: isn’t that an interesting assembly of charges that seem to come hand in hand with “domestic violence” charges? Yet in the venue of family court, they are still convening studies (and taking federal grant money, LOTS of it) to “explicate” the context of this behavior in custody determinations, even though laws exist in many states saying that batterers don’t make good parents. That’s probably WHY more research is “needed” to (reframe) the discussion.
We can also help you vacate a New jersey final restraining order or appeal a final restraining order that has been entered against you.
This criminal defense firm also mentions — right up front — things that many women are not told, fleeing DV into the arms of the local justice center, or agency. They are told to file restraining orders, and make custody arrangements, and not told what is going to happen in the family law venue (which exists primarily in part to weaken consideration of crimes as crimes, I say), nor will they be reminded THIS:
Constitutional Protections for the Criminal Defendant
The United States Constitution and its subsequent amendments define the scope of governmental power and reserve certain individual rights to the people. The first 10 amendments, also called the Bill of Rights, contain basic, fundamental rights of individuals on which the government may not impinge. Many of these constitutional rights provide protection to criminal defendants in the criminal justice system. The Fourteenth Amendment extends substantive due process rights beyond just the federal system to criminal defendants in state courts where the vast majority of criminal trials occur.
The basic constitutional rights of the criminal defendant permeate every aspect of the criminal justice process. If you have been accused of a crime, whether federal, state or local, a seasoned criminal defense attorney can explain these rights to you and help you to fight for them at every step of the way.
The stage at which a woman with children is likely to be remembering these above privileges (and thank God for them) is likely to be after a custody-switch in the family law venue which violated this due process. However, the person opposing the charges is not so likely to be unaware of these rights.
I know this is quite a bit astray from the Toms River case, except my question is, after a murder in 2006, same thing, same Providence House director quoting the same truths about the domestic violence cycle, how come someone died THEN? (And who?) and what policy changed, if any, after that?
Per zoominfo: Indicator the Probation Dept. might have been aware:
The Probation Association of New Jersey, Local 106 – [Cached Version]
Published on: 6/8/2001 Last Visited: 2/2/2002
Contact: Mary Pettrow, CSW, Program DirectorProvidence House, a Program of Catholic CharitiesPO Box 104Toms River, NJ 08754732-244-6257
…
We were very fortunate to have representatives from the Probation Association of New Jersey volunteer their time to assist us with projects to maintain the clean and home-like appearance of the facility” stated Mary Pettrow, Director of Program Services for Providence House.If you are a victim of domestic violence, call the Providence House 24 hour hotline — 732-244-8259 or, in the 609 area, (800) 246-8910.If you are interested in volunteering, call 732-244-6257.
Looking for volunteers for domestic violence response teams
September 23, 3008September 23, 2008 Whiting, NJ– Providence House Domestic Violence Services of Catholic Charities, and local police departments are seeking volunteers to assist victims of domestic abuse. These volunteers must reside in the following municipalities: Toms River, Seaside Heights, Seaside Park, Lavallette, Island Heights and Lakewood. Volunteers would be part of the Domestic Violence Response Teams (DVRT) located throughout Ocean County. DVRT volunteers meet with victims at the police station following a reported incident and provide supportive listening, options and referrals to help those affected by domestic violence. Volunteers are required to attend 40 hours of training over a period of 10 weeks. Ten of those hours will be spent observing cases heard in Superior and Municipal Courts. All prospective volunteers must undergo a background check and interview process, and must be at least 18 years of age, have a valid NJ drivers license, and available transportation. Interested individuals may contact Donald Horbelt, DVRT Specialist, at 732-350-2120 by November 7, 2008 for more information.
http://www.catholiccharitiestrenton.org/news_arch.php?PHPSESSID=a3e29bff11ce388b63df4f67a63387fd
Several articles here refer to Providence House, including that Prosecutor Lynch-Ford might have known about it, as well as police chiefs, mayors, Ocean County Freeholders, and others. So “what gives” that Ms. Zindell didn’t get to their doors yet, or feel she needed to?
Providence House thanks awareness month supporters
November 14, 2007
On behalf of Providence House Domestic Violence Services of Catholic Charities we wanted to share with you how grateful we are for the community support that was shown during October, which was Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Specifically, on Thursday, October 25, 2007 staff, clients, and community members celebrated the journey from “victim” to “survivor” of domestic abuse. The day began at the Providence House Outreach office located on Schoolhouse Road in Whiting with a flag raising ceremony on the newly installed flagpole given to Providence House by Manchester Township. PHOTO: Mayor Michael Fressola, Mary Pettrow, Associate Director of Providence House, Police Chief William Brase, and Councilman Kenneth Vanderziel joined to raise the flag to start off the day’s events (see photo, below). The Catholic Charities outreach building has also become a satellite location of the Manchester Police Department – a partnership that will greatly benefit the community and those affected by domestic abuse in Manchester Township.
The staff of Providence House then transitioned into preparations for the thirteenth annual Celebration of Survivors event held that night from 7:00 pm to 8:30 pm at Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton Church in Whiting. This annual commemoration honors all those affected by domestic violence, from clients who have worked so hard to transition from the role of victim to becoming a survivor to those who have lost their lives at the hands of someone who claimed to love them. At the beginning of the ceremony, Ms. Madelin Einbinder, representing Ocean County Prosecutor Marlene Lynch-Ford conducted the opening candle lighting. Many of the clients participated in this event either by speaking; writing a poem, or taking part in making affirmations about the positive steps they have taken in their lives. Clients of Providence House created a beautiful quilt depicting the various phases of domestic abuse and the journey to becoming a survivor, which was on display that night. The Ocean County Freeholders and the Township of Manchester gave Proclamations declaring October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month.Every year at this event awards are given to particular groups or individuals that have generously supported Providence House throughout the years. This year three honorees were awarded this accolade: Dr. Peter Lewis for choosing Providence House to be an ongoing beneficiary of the “Smiles for Life” program; Verizon Wireless for its cellular phone donation program, sponsorship of the Providence House gift auction, and provision of trainings to clients on job seeking skills; and the Zonta Club of Ocean County for being actively involved in addressing violence against the elderly through the creation of the Elder Abuse Task Force. The audience was deeply moved by all of the components of this special program.
In closing, another very important occurrence during Domestic Violence Awareness Month for which the staff of Providence House was extremely grateful was the recent grant of $80,500.00 from the Ocean County Board of Chosen Freeholders. This contribution will continue to make it possible for victims of domestic abuse and their children to receive free, confidential, and professional services through the various Providence House programs. Please let your readers know that if you or someone you know needs assistance or would like to learn more about domestic abuse, please contact the 24-hour hotline at 732.244.8259 or 1.800.246.8910.
There is also a significant article on this same web page about a parallel (??) treatment program for men, dating to 2008, Feb.
I remember a certain close to Valentine’s Day long ago, a severe and escalating incident involving guns (and a close call) was defused. The next day, or soon after, I attempted to discuss this in the religious, joint-counseling we had been recommended to (and did) attend. BIG . . .. BIG . . .. mistake. They didn’t want me to bring this up, so I shut up. I was asked (in a show of grandiose, after the incident, and public, pretense – – absent any repentance or apology or acknowledgement for how this incident had affected me, including from those counseling — to go attended a couples Sweetheart dinner and dance at the same church. I was still in shock, and went, and entering into the ladies’ room, recognizing someone I knew whose husband knew of the incident, I collapsed. The ladies room of this church was apparently a safer place (to me, emotionally), than the pastor’s office in the exact same hallway. After speaking my piece to a woman, I wiped up off my face, straightened up, and went out to the event. I have a photo from it; and look frozen. I don’t see that its import registered — at all — with anyone employed by the church.
So, here is an article around Valentine’s Day written from the perspective of a man counseling men who have been court-ordered into treatment for Violence against, presumably, their intimate partners From the same organization and page as the Providence House one:
From Violence to Compassion
February 14, 2008
Valentine’s Day is here – the time for expressing affection with loved ones. It seems improbable that the people we love can sometimes be the people whose hearts and bodies we hurt. Yet we know domestic violence is a reality, even on Valentine’s Day, necessitating shelters and services to protect women and children. If we really want to protect women and children we must also reach the men committing these offenses. Through court mandates, some men who have abused their partners and children enter our treatment program. Our goal is that they take responsibility for their actions so that the intergenerational cycle of abuse is stopped.When I started this work 25 years ago, we had a plan. Confront them. Lecture them about male privilege. Change their social beliefs to accept women as equals.
{{read on: sounds like the men coming through the program helped talk them into abandoning said plan, including accepting women as equals….}}
Trouble was, as seen through the rear view mirror of time, we were replicating the power tactics we wanted them to stop. We had the “truth”, and I was going to force it on them.
{{LET’s GET HONEST, anecdotal commentary: When I brought this up to individuals in my own case, the exact truth, and have continued bringing it, up, I found no such audience or understanding. This is in fact the general attitude I have noticed in the family law venue, and (generally speaking) in other venues in which “experts” tell those who have actually “experienced” violence and near-death or other trauma (ongoing, often enough), how to view their own experiences — namely, to minimize them. This is in effect telling people NOT to trust their gut and NOT to trust their own assessments of things that they actually have gone through assessing and taking legal action on. As such, it’s condescending, and yes, we do (whether male or female) pick up on the condescension AND the power tactics. One reason we understand this is that domestic violence IS a power tactic. The violence part is about power, punishment, and refusal to take orders, particularly from a woman (inferior in the relationship. Again, and unfortunately, too many “faith institutions” echo the same dynamics, including Catholics, Catholic Charities and other large institutions of various sorts.}}
We got compliance, significantly less capital “V” violence, the violence that is against the law. But when you looked closer at the picture, we saw more small “v” violence, the emotional and verbal abuse often goes under the radar of law enforcement but is equally damaging to its victims.
The prevailing sentiment is these men are monsters with no feeling who deny, minimize, or take no responsibility for their actions. {{Welll, as to all but the first part — which I can’t speak for, not being inside the other person’s head, I CAN speak for the other parts: deny, minimize and take no responsibility for their actions: Yes. This is true. }} My 25 years in the trenches have allowed me to learn from these men who abuse the same lesson I learned from the victims of abuse. They taught me that if humanity and compassion are goals, therapists must create an atmosphere of emotional safety in order to address the hidden shame and hurt that the men so fear. Frequently, men hide their perceived wounds behind a controlling and domineering veneer. We call these wounds “core hurts”, a term coined by Dr. Steven Stosny** in his work with men who have abused. These wounds usually originate in childhood and lead a man to believe he is unlovable, powerless, rejected, and unworthy of earning trust. The “core hurts”, hidden with accompanying shame, are actually mistaken beliefs about himself. Men who have abused hide this pain and shame from themselves and from others with a “mask”. They use the mask that many men use, but include physical and emotional violence. This mask ranges from the grandiose exuberance of exaggerated manhood to the “strong, silent type”. But behind the mask are men who use power, status, achievement, etc, to prove that they are better than others. Men notch their belts with money, cars, conquests of women, and athletic accomplishments, as demonstrations of superiority, of their definition of “manhood”. Power and winning are used in place of compassion in their relationships. Power may get compliance, but deep inside, these men know that they remain feeling unlovable. They try to manipulate “love” out of others, but they feel unlovable on the inside. When someone does express love to them, they cannot accept it because they do not feel lovable at their core. No amount of love from others will make someone who feels unlovable believe that they are worthy of love. They must do that work on themselves.
The men I have worked with have taught me that, given a welcoming sanctuary of emotional safety, inclusion, and acceptance, they have the courage to go behind the mask that hides their shame to heal their “core hurts’. An interesting thing happens as they expose these wounds and deal with the feelings of unlovablity, powerlessness, etc they were covering up. Their internal beliefs, beliefs about themselves, change. They discover their own lovability and internal power to regulate their own emotions (as opposed to their external power over others.). In the beginning of this compassion for self, they start feeling better about themselves, more worthy of love. And how does a person worthy of love treat others? Many of these men have found that they treat their partners, their children, and their co-workers with more compassion. They realize that both the capital “V” violence and the small “v” violence hurt their loved ones’ ability to trust, love, and connect. The men who do this work can hear and understand the hurt they caused others, and start to make amends.
For the men who dig in and work on themselves, their work does not stop when the treatment ends. About half the men who complete the program volunteer to come back to our “Passing It On” night where they help new group members have the courage to look inside themselves. When the men look behind this mask, the false manhood, the addictions, the aggressions, even the passive withdrawal into stonewalling, they see that they have discarded their own humanity. When the men do the work, one of the most common phrases we hear is “I got myself back”. “Myself” has been there the whole time waiting to be discovered. None of this means that these men should not be held accountable for their actions; they are totally responsible for their behavior no matter what the other person does. However, once inside treatment programs, if we want their humanity to re-emerge, we follow what these men have taught us: Create a safe place where shameful hurts can heal, and the humanity and compassion in the human spirit grows. We have seen men who have the courage to do this work change their definition of manhood to include expressions of sadness, allowance of fear, inadequacy, and imperfection. Compassion becomes a practice and self-responsibility becomes a discipline. The men start connecting with others with more humanity, more humility, and more acceptance.
Protecting women by providing shelters and supportive services is essential. So is holding the men accountable through the legal system. Most men do not come unless there are external forces. At the same time, creating a safe place for men to heal the shame and pain behind their violence will further this effort.
David J. Thomas, LCSW, LMFT, DVS
Program Supervisor, Family Growth Program of Catholic Charities, Trenton
Thomas has worked at Catholic Charities with family violence since 1977
Which brings me to the point of Healthy Marriage and Responsible Fatherhood recipients in NJ. I thought, SURELY, the reason Ms. Zindell had to die was New Jersey somehow had missed the boat on udnerstanding that DV can be lethal, and they were also short of teaching “healthy marriages.” But here is someone out of Trenton, who is a devotee (apparently) of Dr. Sosny, who teaches, for a fee of course a Boot camp for Smart Marriage attendees.
Dr. Stosny is offering his celebrated Boot Camp training exclusively for
Smart Marriages attendees. Participants will learn invaluable skills in
emotional regulation and dealing with chronic resentment, anger, or
emotional abuse. You are free to use the any of the materials and skills you
learn merely by attending the training. You will also have the opportunity
to become a CompassionPower associate and to use Dr. Stosny’s name, trademarks,
and website for marketing, for a small annual fee. This fee is usually $250, but for Smart Marriages
institute graduates, the fee is only $100 a year.The CompassionPower Boot Camp consists of 3 sessions of 8 hours each. Love
without Hurt consists of 4 intensive, two-hour sessions, with 22 pages of
homework assignments.
If you do any kind of family education or intervention, you will certainly
encounter hidden emotional abuse and violence against spouses
and children. In some couples you’ll notice harshness and hostility,
but in many you will not – abusers can be charming and affable in public.
Most abuse occurs in private when a loved one, purposely or inadvertently
triggers the abuser’s sense of failure or inadequacy – as parent, spouse,
lover, or provider. This causes a sudden drop in self-value, which makes
them feel powerless and unable to see anyone else’s perspective.{{i.e., it wasn’t “the devil made me do it” or “she made me do it” but “my drop in self-value made me do it.”
((While there’s I bet truth to the fact that this aggression IS a reaction to the sense of lowered self-worth — I mean what kind of man with a sense of self-respect would go assault (or kill, or beat up on) his wife or girlfriend? SO WHAT? Why cannot we not talk about simply the self-respect that goes with understanding what laws are, and the civic duty to comply with them? I have been through unbelievable situations without violating laws against abuse, stalking, visitation interference, child-stealing or anything of that sort. In consequence for this level of self-restraint, and after appealing to the justice system(s) for justice, the police for enforcement, the child support system for enforcement, and the courts for protection orders, I have totally lost my sense of safety in my own neighborhoods, all expectation that child support arrears of any sort are going to come in, and with zero assistance as to either protection, victim compensation funding (although a crime was committed and income was lost — ALL income, as a matter of fact) because of this crime and no other identifiable reasons, I have gone to zero again. this was AFTEr all the years of violence in the home. So, I have little sympathy for organizations or programs where men, after wounding women physically and in other categories, can get an ear for licking their wounds and wounded egos in front of a ready ear. Did SHE get this mercy somehow? Did she get it from the men in question that had to be ordered into treatment to start with?. What kind of racket and set of alliances is this, anyhow?))
Aggressive impulses occur automatically when people feel powerless,
but unlike most of us, abusers act out the aggression. The power-and-control
tactics for which they are known are merely attempts to keep family
members from doing something that might make them face their failure
or inadequacy as parents, spouses, lovers, or providers. That’s why
research shows that efforts to change behavior without empowering
abusers fail.Both the Compassion Power Boot Camp and the Self Regulation:
Love Without Hurt add-on program feature Stosny’s empowering concept of innate
Core Value, the unique human drive to create value and maintain an inner
store of intimate, aesthetic, spiritual, moral, compassionate, and protective
experiences. The centerpiece of the program is HEALS, which is used to
treat resentment, anger, and violence. HEALS automatically raises self value
during the sudden drops that lead to abuse, by conditioning Core Value to
occur with the first signs of resentment, anger, or anxiety. The experience of
Core Value makes it possible to see other perspectives and be compassionate
to loved ones.
(Where government programs meet market niches; we’re in it.)
Searching on David J Thomas (above’s) program area, Family Growth Services, it would appear that although there’s a high overlap with the department Ms. Zindell worked in, somehow a connection was made. Perhaps, because she wasn’t yet a “family”? Here:
Community and Population Served by the Organization
The Children and Family Service Division serves more than 500 abused and neglected children annually and attempts to also bring their families under the wing of its services. Its programs operate in Mercer, Burlington, Monmouth, and Ocean counties. Division programs are made possible by an extensive network of more than 700 employees and 400 volunteers. Many clients are referred to Catholic Charities from the corrections system or from the state Division of Youth and Family Services. ..Family Growth helps abusive families change violent patterns of interaction so that children can remain safely in their own home and rebuild their basic trust.
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Well, that’s it for this (now long) post, for now!
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Words fail me on this incident. . .. did the police/judge WANT another headline?
(1) and (2) were California and Pennsylvania, respectively.
(3) NEW JERSEY,
ARTICLE 1:
Cops probe (Jersey) Shore murder-suicide
Friday, August 14, 2009
THE LEADING BLEEDING HEADLINE:
A family friend hoping to borrow cleaning supplies from Zindell discovered her body in the back seat of her 2005 Acura around 2:30 p.m., Toms River Police Chief Michael Mastronardy said.
The chief was not sure how Zindell was killed and that remained unknown as of last night, pending an autopsy by the Ocean County Medical Examiner’s Office.
After Zindell’s friend informed police of her grim discovery, authorities began a frantic search for Frisco, said Mastronardy. Police discovered his body around 4 p.m. (WHERE?)
THE BACKGROUND, possibly acc. to police report:
The couple apparently broke off their wedding plans two months ago, sparking a series of events that saw Zindell file a restraining order against her ex-beau and caused police to force Frisco to check in to a mental facility, Mastronardy said.
Mastronardy being the Police Chief, and this account being his explanation of why the man went to a mental facility and not a lockup. If there is some procedural rule regarding this, it seems to me this would be in the account. I could find on-line an account 15 years old (Duluthcenter related) where this happened, and the woman was killed.
If you had been looking at domestic violence training and “technical assistance” funding like I have been, you’d be highly irritated that these things still happen. If the training isn’t getting the job done, then let’s have a new policy. WITH each and every restraining order — that is, assuming we DO care about whether or not people get killed afterwards, possibly — or have to live in fear of this — or live without fear of this and then are shot (etc.) anyhow — simply have an intense self-defense awareness and protection course RIGHT AWAY. She gets SOME defensive weapon, not a gun, and training in its use AND is sternly warned to be alert of her environment and careful. Or, leave the area.
Zindell and Frisco had been romantically involved for two years, according to police.
Missing piece of information: How long between prior wife and their romantic involvement and plans to marry? ALSO, did his ex-wife have custody of the two children, or him? Either way, did he NEED this woman to manage to get the kids, or to raise them if he had them? What was this man’s motivation for re-marrying? What was hers for marrying him?
Don’t tell me “marriage education” is the solution. These people were young (my perspective) adults of full age.
Over the past three weeks, police had responded to several calls from Zindell, who alleged her ex-fiance was constantly harassing her and violating a restraining order she had obtained against him in June, when the pair severed their engagement.
Frisco, who has an ex-wife and two children, had been jailed on charges of domestic violence and violation of the restraining order until late Wednesday afternoon, Mastronardy said.
From WHEN until late Wednesday afternoon? That doesn’t add up even mathematically. What should readers do, go look for a different account?
Police immediately notified Zindell of Frisco’s release, the chief said.
Zindell told police Frisco had contacted her several times in the last two weeks, Mastronardy said. He first threatened her, on July 30, with a lawsuit regarding the property they once shared in the 500 block of Lafayette Avenue and sent her several e-mails, according to Mastronardy, who did not know the exact nature of the lawsuit.
{{I’m sure it has some relevance to his feelings –whose was it? As they weren’t yet married, I’d speculate it was either his, or hers.}}
On Aug. 2 and Aug. 6, Frisco continually tried to get in touch with his former fiancée, Mastronardy said. He contacted her by e-mail 24 times on Aug. 2 and proceeded to send her a bouquet of flowers on Aug. 6 while she was at work. Both actions were considered a violation of the restraining order.
THREATS THEN FLOWERS . . . .
Following those incidents, police forced Frisco to spend a week at a local mental facility. At the end of his stay, he was jailed on an outstanding warrant from the domestic violence charge before being released Wednesday.
James Queally may be reached at (973) 392-4136 or jqueally@starledger.com
Two found dead in South Jersey murder-suicide
GANNETT NEW JERSEY • AUGUST 14, 2009
TOMS RIVER — A 30-year-old township woman was found dead in a locked car Thursday afternoon, and her 36-year-old ex-fiance was discovered hanging in the detached garage loft of their Toms River home less than an hour later, in what Ocean County prosecutors say is a murder-suicide.
The body of Letizia Zindell, who had recently moved to the Penny Layne neighborhood, was discovered on King George Layne at about 3:15 p.m., authorities said. A friend coming to visit her discovered Zindell’s body in the car. Shortly after 4 p.m., Frank Frisco was found hanging in the garage of their home on Lafayette Avenue, authorities said.
The two had been engaged and living together in the Lafayette Avenue home, which is registered to Zindell as the owner. But the wedding was called off and the relationship ended about two months ago, authorities said.
According to online wedding registry sites, the couple was registered at Macy’s and Crate & Barrel and had planned to marry June 21.
{{WAS THIS NOT FATHER’S DAY?}}
“We suspect another chapter in domestic violence history of our state,” Ocean County Prosecutor Marlene Lynch Ford said at a news conference held at Toms River police headquarters early Thursday evening.
After police found Zindell’s body in her car, they began searching for Frisco as a “person of interest,” wanting to question him in her death, Ford said.
“Based on our investigation, this appears to be another unfortunate murder-suicide,” Ford said. “Police are piecing together the story of this couple that had such a tragic conclusion.”
Restraining Orders (AND CHILD SUPPORT CHECKS….)
Zindell, who worked for the state Division of Youth and Family Services, secured a temporary restraining order against Frisco on July 9, after he gained access to some of her accounts and stole $770 from her, authorities said. A permanent restraining order was issued on July 21 after Frisco failed to show at his court date, Ford said. One of the conditions was that Frisco repay the money, according to authorities.
Frisco apparently had money problems. He wrote two bad child-support checks this year — one on Jan. 23 and one on June 17 — township Police Chief Michael Mastronardy said. The amounts of the checks were not immediately known.
Frisco was divorced, had three {{3? 2?}} children and was self-employed at a business based in Cherry Hill, though what he did for a living was not known, authorities said.
The restraining order also prohibited Frisco from having any contact with Zindell. Frisco was arrested by sheriff’s deputies Friday for repeatedly calling and e-mailing his ex-fiancee, Ford said. The arrest came after Frisco was discharged from an unnamed hospital, authorities said. He posted $1,500 bail Wednesday at about 5:10 p.m and was released from Ocean County Jail in Toms River, Ford said.
“What is distressing is this is a typical cycle of domestic violence — it just spiraled out of control,” Ford said. “The initial violations did not involve acts of tremendous violence, but consistent with what we know about domestic abuse, it often starts out with harassment that often spirals into violence, and that’s exactly what happened here.”
IN OTHER WORDS, MS. LYNCH FORD OF OCEAN COUNTY HAS BEEN UP SOME BACKWATER FOR HOW LONG? AND HAD NOT READ ANY OF THE LETHALITY ASSESSMENTS GOING BACK TO 1985 UP TO NOW, HAS NOT BEEN AWARE OF ONGOING NEWSPAPER HEADLINES ABOUT THIS TOPIC, YEAR AFTER YEAR, AND HAS NOT SAT UNDER ANY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE TRAINING BY ANYONE. ALTHOUGH SHE’S A PROSECUTOR. AND YET (TO SUMMARIZE IT FOR THE PRESS) IT’S ACKNOWLEDGE — THEY KNOW IT SPIRALS UP FROM HARASSMENT INTO VIOLENCE, AND YET — AND YET — HE WAS GIVEN BAIL, AND POSTED IT, RATHER THAN THE FIRST VIOLATIONS (AND THIS CONSTITUTED CLEAR STALKING, PLUS THEFT, PLUS DANGERS SIGNS UP THE – – – – – CREEK — AND RELEASED.)
UNDER WHICH JUDGE? UNDER WHAT NJ LAWS?
Details Withheld
Zindell’s body was discovered in the back seat of a locked, gray, Acura TL sedan, which police removed from the neighborhood shortly after 5 p.m. with the body apparently still inside. Investigators left the neighborhood shortly thereafter.
Ford would not say whether Zindell was killed in the car, or if her body was moved there after her death. Authorities also would not say if any weapons were recovered, or if marks or signs of trauma were found on Zindell. An autopsy is scheduled for today.
King George Layne is located in the well-manicured Penny Layne complex of condominiums with cream vinyl siding and faux brick exteriors behind the Ocean County Mall on Hooper Avenue. In interviews, Zindell’s neighbors said everyone there kept very private lives and few people knew the young woman.
{{the hazards of a well to do or upper middle class lifestyle — neighbors don’t protect.}}
Felipe Jorge, 19, a lifeguard at the pool in the complex, said he heard Zindell come out of her condominium at about 2:10 p.m. Thursday screaming, “I can’t believe you did this to me.”
{{Ms. Zindell, working for the state and having had a repeatedly violated restraining order, stalking, and etc., didn’t alert the lifeguards or others of her concerns, but tried to engage somehow when he showed up? well, those details may come out later…}}
He said police told him Zindell was found with something stuffed in her mouth. Authorities would not confirm that she was gagged.
Police are now trying to piece together what took place in the hours between Frisco’s release from jail and Zindell’s death.
Toms River Police Capt. Michael Dorrick is leading the investigation, assisted by members of the Ocean County Prosecutor’s Office and the county sheriff’s Criminalistics Investigative Unit.
Police are asking anyone with information to contact police at 732-349-0150.
Why don’t they instead try to piece together what was going on between the ears of the people who: 1. didn’t hold him in longer 2. did mental hospital instead of jail 3. allowed bail in such a situation 4. and anything so related. I am sorry, but how many more decades is this going to be the post-mortem “oh-well…. it just escalated, sometimes that happens?”
ARTICLE 3: ENTER THE MONEY MOTIVE AND CHILD SUPPORT ARREARS
Man at center of murder-suicide had years of money problems
BY MATTHEW MCGRATH • TOMS RIVER BUREAU • AUGUST 14, 2009
The muscle-bound man accused of throttling his ex-fiancee before hanging himself Thursday had a several-year history of money problems.
Frank Frisco Jr. was scheduled to appear in Superior Court in Toms River today for a hearing on his divorce from another woman, court officials confirmed.
Frisco, 36, of Lafayette Avenue, was having trouble paying his $500-per-week child support to his ex-wife, Melissa Acito, 35, of Beachwood. The couple had three young boys.
{{TO ME, THIS SEEMS HIGH, BUT I DON’T KNOW THE SITUATION. This man did not appear to lack health and vigor at the time}}
Frisco wrote two bad checks for child support this year, township police Chief Michael J. Mastronardy said. The first was for $5,000 on Jan. 23 and the second was for $30,881 on May 21. A civil complaint was filed with the Toms River police on June 17, Mastronardy said.
The loving father, involved with a new woman (and living with her) was fully $35,881 in arrears on his child support. Hmmm
Frisco was recently fired from his job, Mastronardy said. (but he was self-employed — ??)
Acito said she did not want to comment about her late ex-husband.
————-
I am going to post next on recommendations dating back to about 1990. I have not got the stomach to find out why this particular prosecutor could make such a statement as “it just spiraled out of control” when it already WAS when the man was allowed to post bail, and go kill his wife (and then himself).
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How can we analyze policy inbetween these leading, bleeding headlines?
Maybe if I intersperse headlines, policy talk, and commentary I can get through another day without mourning evidence of national return to stupidity day.
Man, then about 19, begets child; mother (now in other state) age not mentioned
Separation happens; Dad gets custody, Dad remarries (in which order?)
Dad has two more children and, now 34 himself, is accused of molesting his first one, now 15.
DCFS removes daughter he is allegedly molesting from his custody — SORT of, not quite!
Pissed off, or coldly determined, Dad obtains gun — or grabs one he already owns.
Before much of anything is discovered (LEST it be discovered?)
He simply heads two doors down, kills foster Dad, attempts to kill foster mother, DOES kill his own daughter,
What a life she led with her FATHER, a STEPMOTHER, two stepsiblings, and being molested, ALLEGEDLY.
SOMEONE TALKS. She gets out, but not safe. Now she’s dead.
Oh yeah, and not one to go to prison, her father also shoots himself, fatally.
Her MOM was in another state — WHY?
Just another small, friendly, Tennessee Town.
Does anyone know her brief life well enough to tell its brief story? Because when these things happen
at home, the theme is NOT telling anyone outside the family; collusion is the order of the day.
THIS ARTICLE IS FROM TODAY — August 4, 2009
QUIZ — from what YEAR are the orange quotes mid-article?
ANSWER BELOW.
Color Code:
- light blue — quotes the article
- black — my comments
- orange — quotes from a different article (speech, to be precise).
Police: Dad fatally shoots daughter, foster dad
(AND, SELF) (AND TRIES TO KILL FOSTER MOTHER, too)
DYERSBURG, Tenn. – Neighbors in Tennessee are asking why a teenage girl
fatally shot by her father was placed with a foster family just two doors down
after he was accused of abusing her.
Omitted from this lead sentence — ONE WEEK after . . . . .
I believe one of the tags on this one might be “AFTER SHE SPEAKS UP” (if it was the daughter, or her mother, or her stepmother)
This puts a CHILL on reporting abuse…
As dads disappear, the American family is becoming significantly weaker and less capable of fulfilling
its fundamental responsibility
of nurturing and socializing children and conveying values to them.
In turn, the risks to the health and well-being of America’s children
are becoming significantly higher.
Christopher Milburn, 34, killed the 15-year-old and her foster father and
wounded her foster mother before taking his own life Sunday, authorities said.
Sounds like a virtual honor-killing of some sort..
Children growing up without fathers, research shows, are far more likely to live in poverty,
to fail in school, to experience behavioral and emotional problems,
to develop drug and alcohol problems,
to be victims of physical abuse and neglect and, tragically, to commit suicide.
{{THis being a case in point, I suppose?}}
{{The order of events is reversed. Victims of physical (and sexual) abuse are often
turning to drugs, alcohol, and other risky behaviors as a result, per a decade-long
(and basically ignored by the fatherhood movement) Kaiser/CDC study (see blogroll to right), completed the
year before THIS quote I am inserting to this recent Tennessee tragedy.}}
Neighbor Frank Hipps said Milburn was good friends with Todd Randolph, the 46-year-old foster father,
and had worked for him in the past. Hipps, who had known both men for about eight years, said he didn’t know
the details of the abuse allegations but questioned why the girl had been placed so close.
Maybe he didn’t know them so well as he thought.
Who paid WHOM to get this daughter switched only 2 doors down, instead of the Dad switched out of the neighborhood?
Dad used to work for the foster father? Just HOW inbred was this town, exactly?
A mature 46 year old man, foster father, married, and a daughter in the home.
Let’s do the Father/Daughter math: 34 – 15 is HOW old was he when he got a woman pregnant?
Legally old enough: 19. Probably just out of high school.
“That kid shouldn’t have been in that house,” he said.
I agree. I think she should’ve been with her mother.
“This might have been preventable if she had been placed with foster parents out of the community.”
MIGHT is true, especially if he still knew where she was ….
OR for SURE if the man had been in jail for molesting his daughters, which is where child-molesters belong, at least to start.
Neither police in Dyersburg, in northwestern Tennessee, nor child services agency spokesman Rob Johnson
would elaborate on the abuse allegations other than to say the investigation began last week.
The girl, whose name was not released, had been staying with Todd and Susan Randolph
while the state Department of Children’s Services investigated, Dyersburg Police Capt. Steve Isbell said.
WHo paid WHOM to put her there? Come’ ON! !!! Give the girl a fresh start!
Susan Randolph, the girl’s foster mother, was released from a Memphis hospital Monday.
Frank Hipps’ wife, Tammy, said the 15-year-old was Milburn’s daughter by a previous relationship.
He was married and the couple had two younger daughters.
The court probably saw a stable TWO-parent family, it probably had at least HEARD about
the great crisis of fatherlessness we’ve been plagued with as a nation for the past about 15 years
(This girl was born right around the time this doctrine took nationalized, Congressionally recognized wings..
She must’ve been born around 1994. See below. Gee, by then, my In-the-home husband had already
started assaulting me, between babies. WHat a coincidence that, unbeknownst to me, my government
was aware of the crisis and addressing it. . . . . Oh, excuse me, not the crisis of child molestation or
domestic violence, but of FATHERLESSNESS.
The girl’s mother was living out of state
{{HOW COME SHE LOST CUSTODY?}}
and police were waiting for her to arrive before releasing the girl’s name, Isbell said.
Police found the teenager and Todd Randolph dead at the Randolph home and Milburn about a block away,
dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
One less child molester, allegedly, OR man who didn’t trust the legal system to get the truth out of his innocence.
Guess they must do things different in Family Court in Tennessee; he’d have been FINE if he could just connect
with some PAS-theory court professional and discredit whoever was alleging the abuse. Unless it was the girl…
Charles Wootton, 71, who lives across the street from the Randolphs, said he heard five pops. He looked out the window
and saw Randolph on the ground near the mailbox.
“My wife opened the door and walked out and seen the blood. That’s when I called 911,” he said.
Wootton said neighbors started to gather at the Randolphs’ house and a nurse performed CPR on Todd Randolph,
who had been shot through the neck. {{FOR THE CRIME OF . . . . . . . ??}}
Wootton said when he first looked at Susan Randolph, he thought she was dead, too.
“She told me who did it,” Wootton said.
The Randolphs have two young children who were at their grandparents’ house during the shootings, Wootton said.
Wootton had moved to the neighborhood about two weeks ago, and Todd Randolph had mowed his yard several times.
“The people around here are just about the friendliest you’ve ever met,” said Wootton. “I don’t know what happened to that guy.”
MORAL OF THE STORY: FRIENDLY PEOPLE CAN STILL MOLEST THEIR CHILDREN. WHO REPORTED? THE DAUGHTER?
THE NEW WOMAN? ONE OF HER MANDATED REPORTERS.
Isbell said Milburn had no criminal record in Dyersburg, a city of approximately 18,000 people about 70 miles northeast of Memphis.
Tammy Hipps said Milburn worked as a counselor at the McDowell Center for Children,
which helps at-risk and troubled children.
Well, was he falsely accused or properly accused?
If properly, then again, let’s note here: PERPS like places that give them access to CHILDREN, esp. troubled ones.
The shootings came just over two weeks after Jacob Levi Shaffer of Fayetteville, a small Tennessee town
near the Alabama border about.
70 miles west of Chattanooga, was accused of fatally stabbing his estranged wife,
three members of her family and a neighbor boy to death on July 18.
He also is accused of beating an acquaintance to death in nearby Huntsville, Ala.
BEFORE or AFTER she became “inexplicably” “estranged”??
Perhaps stories like these are why the word “RESPONSIBLE” was added to things like, “National Fathers Return Day?”
One Congressional discussion of which I give, below:
FROM THE CONGRESSIONAL RECORD:
| Lieberman, Joseph[D-CT] | ||
| Begin | 1999-06-17 | 10:13:34 |
| End | 10:21:48 | |
| Length | 00:08:14 | |
Leading off with African Americans and teen pregnancies, he relates:
Mr. LIEBERMAN.
Mr. President, I want to say just a few words on the jarring statistics from that report and column for my colleagues.
Of African American children born in 1996, 70 percent were born to unmarried mothers. At least 80 percent, according to the report,
can expect to spend a significant part of their childhood apart from their fathers.
We can take some comfort and encouragement from the fact that the teen pregnancy rate has dropped in the last few years. But the numbers cited in Mr. Kelly’s column and in the report are nonetheless profoundly unsettling, especially given what we know about the impact of fatherlessness, and indicate we are in the midst of what Kelly aptly terms a “national calamity.”
It is a calamity. Of course, it is not limited to the African American community. On any given night, 4 out of 10 children in
this country are sleeping in homes without fathers.
COMMENTARY:
(THis mental image appears to be far less vivid than the ones of SOME fathers doing horrible things when they DID or DO live
with their children..
Like beating them. Or having sex with them. Or beating their mothers. Or simply refusing to work OR help around the home. Or,
engaging in multiple sexual relationships with other women while married. Or verbally berating a mother in front of the children.
SOME Dads are great Dads and SOME Dads are a terror. Likewise, SOME Moms are great Moms, and SOME Moms are negligent
or bad Moms. It is also harder for a mother to care properly for her children, or in the best manner, which she is afraid of being assaulted
over a minor issue by the Dad when he comes home. If he does that day. Are these senators thinking about these images when they
shudder and are aghast at a home without a Dad).
Many homes were without Dads during the World Wars I, II, Korean War, Viet Nam War, in Iraq, Afghanistan, and many other places
men (and women) have been sent because men decided to make war with each other, in the name of peace and democracy and self-protection.
Some homes of law enforcement officers are now without Dads in them because their Dad responded to a domestic violence dispute, and
caught a bullet, generally also taking out the attacking father as well.
MY Dad’s home, growing up between two of the abovementioned wars was without a Dad in it because, guess what: His Dad (a fireman),
got tired of beating his German immigrant wife and abandoned her with three children. He witnessed this growing up.
He went on to become a successful scientist, raise children he did NOT beat (at least I wasn’t and I never saw my siblings taking this),
studied hard, worked hard, sent ALL children not just to, but also through college also, and left an inheritance. And provide for, from what
I am told/understand, not only his own mother, but also a younger brother who never quite got it together, possibly related to something that
happened when he WAS with that abusive Dad, or what, I was never told. That brother also served his country as a soldier, and died before his time,
never having married or had children.
My Dad NEVER put his children (all daughters) in contact with the abusing/beating/abandoning father, ever, in his lifetime.
I never regretted this, that I can recall. How can you regret something you never saw, where the only thing you knew about him was,
he beat the grandmother that I DID know (a little bit).
However, while Sen. Lieberman was making this speech, about a decade ago, I was for the first time in a full decade of substantial
domestic violence in MY daughters’ lives, with them at an overnight, stay-away camp, a music camp, which we had managed to get
to no thinks from the father who never left. For two weeks, I was not going to be abused at night and was around people who actually
treated me respectfully, and I worked along side them in my profession. We had had a real push getting up there, and were punished
soundly for having left, but during that week and seeing the response to us getting free from abuse for only (and not entirely; there was
a dour-faced, rules-of-camp breaking midweek visit, where $20 was casually tossed at me so I might have enough gas to get back home)
I MADE UP MY MIND that this domestic violence restraining order was GOING to be filed, and I’m “out of here.”
How ironic that i didn’t know what was being prated and pronounced in Washington, D.C. at this time.
Here’s the rest of this little 8 minute speech, in case you WOULD like the names of some of the prominent thinkers behind this
June 1999 presentation to the President of the United States, and get a glimpse inside the working of great, Constitution-respecting, minds
when left unsupervised in the Capital of our beloved country:
We can take some comfort and encouragement from the fact that the teen pregnancy rate has dropped
in the last few years. But the numbers cited in Mr. Kelly’s column and in the report are nonetheless
profoundly unsettling, especially given what we know about the impact of fatherlessness,
{{Gee, that must have been a grass-roots appeal from the teen mothers for help, or their mothers, or
theirs sisters. WHERE did this knowledge about the impact of fatherless come from, given the
establishment in 1994 of: (A) The Violence Against Women Act (help some women leave, rather than
stay, in abusive, dangerous relationships) and (B) Also in 1994, the National Fatherhood Initiative.
(Should I compare months of incorporation as nonprofit with the passage of the law?)}}
and indicate we are
in the midst of what Kelly aptly terms a “national calamity.” It is a calamity. Of course, it is not limited to
the African American community. On any given night, 4 out of 10 children in this country are sleeping in homes without fathers.
(CONTINUED QUOTE, in different format..):
At the end of this column, Michael Kelly asks: How could this happen
in a Nation like ours? And he wonders if anyone is paying attention.
Well, the fact is that people are beginning to pay attention, although
it tends to be more people at the grassroots level who are actively
seeking solutions neighborhood by neighborhood.
{{Evidence being….. WHO?? Time frame? Organizations? Written declarations by any of these?}}
The best known of these groups {{in fact the ONLY one named here..}}
is called the National Fatherhood Initiative.
{{Possibly because of its funding? and prominence of who’s in it?}}
I think it has made tremendous progress in recent years {{CONTEXT 1994-1999}}
in raising awareness of father absence and its impact on our society and in mobilizing a
national effort to promote responsible fatherhood.
Per the HHS TAGGS search on its name:
| Fiscal Year | Grantee Name | State | Award Number | Award Title | CFDA Number | Sum of Actions |
| 2008 | NATIONAL FATHERHOOD INITIATIVE | MD | 90FB0001 | NATIONAL FATERHOOD CAPACITY BUILDING INITIATIVE | 93086 | $ 999,534 |
| 2007 | NATIONAL FATHERHOOD INITIATIVE | MD | 90FB0001 | NATIONAL FATERHOOD CAPACITY BUILDING INITIATIVE | 93086 | $ 999,534 |
| 2006 | NATIONAL FATHERHOOD INITIATIVE | MD | 90FB0001 | NATIONAL FATERHOOD CAPACITY BUILDING INITIATIVE | 93086 | $ 999,534 |
| 2001 | NATIONAL FATHERHOOD INITIATIVE | MD | 90XP0023 | THE RESPONSIBILE FATHERHOOD PUABLIC EDUCATION PROGRAM | 93647 | $ 500,000 |
And for column width, same search (common field: Award# / CFDA Code)
| Fiscal Year | Award Number | Action Issue Date | CFDA Number | CFDA Program Name | Award Activity Type | Award Action Type | Principal Investigator | Sum of Actions |
| 2008 | 90FB0001 | 09/25/2008 | 93086 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | CHRISTHOPHER BEARD | $ 999,534 |
| 2007 | 90FB0001 | 09/21/2007 | 93086 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | CHRISTHOPHER BROWN | $ 999,534 |
| 2006 | 90FB0001 | 09/25/2006 | 93086 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | CHRISTHOPHER BROWN | $ 999,534 |
| 2001 | 90XP0023 | 04/09/2001 | 93647 | Social Services Research and Demonstration | SOCIAL SERVICES | NEW | HEATHER THURMAN | $ 500,000 |
I’d DONE data entry before, and typing. Do you know what the odds of someone even on no sleep, and having a sugar buzz, making THAT many
mistakes in 4 entries (fatherhood, responsible, and public, plus “Christopher” spelled wrong. Same grant, 3rd year, “Christhopher Brown” entered a
samesex marriage, apparently and changed last name “Brown” to his partner’s name “Beard”?
This database exists so the public can search on it. Hmmm…… I wonder if they know to search for misspelled names…. and key terms.
AND SINCE 2000– seen below:
Funding for the “Father Organization” in this “national effort”
| 93.086: Healthy Marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | $1,999,068 |
However the funding for the wild oats it sowed, under this # 93.086:
(I JUST LEARNED) I believe that this code only arose (emerged naturally of course) in about 2006. However, as of 2009,
it is still not a searchable agency code on the USASPENDING.gov. Either in listing “all” programs, or under the agency it belongs under
Hmmm — $2 million less in California for our shelters? (yes, yes, I realize this is federal, not state, spending).
2000-2009 NFI Funding: (See bar chart): Well, I guessed this may not be responsible “Spelling” on whoever entered the data,
but . . . .
When we simply search only the word
“fatherhood” under “recipient” for FY2000-2009,
we get an entirely different picture (also diff’t database):
Top 5 Known Congressional Districts where Recipients are Located 
| District of Columbia nonvoting (Eleanor Holmes Norton) | $6,942,352 |
| Maryland 08 (Constance A. Morella / Chris Van Hollen) | $2,625,112 |
Yes this is definitely an “up from the people” grassroots movement,
and not a DC.-down
initiative, surely. They are just responding to (a certain sector) of their constitutents, and from Washington, acting on it. I know straight out of
getting out of my house safe, the FIRST thing on my mind was telling Washington, I needed (well, another) father in the home, since now
I was a “female-headed” household and my children, while this Domestic Violence Restraining order was in effect, were sleeping in a fatherless
home and in danger of (NOT) learning the rights values. They were learning that that stuff they witnessed growing up was illegal. And how to
leave a dangerous relationship and start to recover.
Of course, family court was there waiting for them to go UNlearn those values, fast, and that the 14th Amendment is just a theory.
Top 10 Recipients
| NATIONAL FATHERHOOD INITIATIVE | $11,067,190 |
| FATHERHOOD INITIATIVE | $8,673,900 |
| INSTITUTE RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD | $6,557,520 |
| INST FOR RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD & FAM RE | $1,500,000 |
| INST FOR RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD & FAM. REVITA | $300,000 |
| INST FOR RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD & FAM. RE | $99,350 |
| INST FOR RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD & FAMILY REVI | $-14,518 ** |
93647 word “fatherhood”
Was that misspelling intentional? I mean, it WOULD complicate a search by Award Title
Searching, CFDA 93647 (Not the CFDA actually assigned the word “fatherhood” in its description) & word “fatherhood” (“keyword in award title”):
Exact same search, different fields, so you can see grantee, principal investigators….
i.e.,
“It did this ALL on its own altruistic self, and I’m just reporting on it here.”
The President (is this the same one that signed that 1995 proclamation? about fatherhood?)
SEARCH ON ALL grants, with only the word “fatherhood” in the grant (not grantee) title, produced
358 records, of which here are the 1995-1999 ones:
| 1999 | INST FOR RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD & FAM. REVITALIZATION | WASHINGTON | DC | Non-Profit Private Non-Government Organizations | 90XA0005 | REPLICATION & REVITALIZATION FATHERHOOD MODEL | 93670 | OTHER | NEW | $ 300,000 |
| 1999 | INST FOR RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD & FAM. REVITALIZATION | WASHINGTON | DC | Non-Profit Private Non-Government Organizations | 90XP0014 | EVALUATION OF THE INSTITUTE FOR RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD | 93647 | SOCIAL SCIENCE RESEARCH (INCLUDES SURVEYS) | NEW | $ 180,000 |
| 1999 | OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY, RESEARCH FOUNDATION | COLUMBUS | OH | State Government | R01HD035702 | IMPROVING AND EVALUATING NLSY FATHERHOOD DATA | 93864 | SCIENTIFIC/HEALTH RESEARCH (INCLUDES SURVEYS) | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | $ 139,665 |
| 1999 | UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA, SCHOOL OF PUBLIC HEALTH | MINNEAPOLIS | MN | State Government | R40MC00141 | AN INTERVENTION FOR THE TRANSITION TO FATHERHOOD | 93110 | SCIENTIFIC/HEALTH RESEARCH (INCLUDES SURVEYS) | NEW | $ 344,470 |
| 1999 | UNIVERSITY OF OKLAHOMA NORMAN CAMPUS | NORMAN | OK | State Government | R40MC00110 | AMERICAN INDIAN FATHERHOOD IN TWO OKLAHOMA COMMUNITIES | 93110 | SCIENTIFIC/HEALTH RESEARCH (INCLUDES SURVEYS) | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | $ 149,507 |
| 1998 | OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY, RESEARCH FOUNDATION | COLUMBUS | OH | State Government | R01HD035702 | IMPROVING AND EVALUATING NLSY FATHERHOOD DATA | 93864 | SCIENTIFIC/HEALTH RESEARCH (INCLUDES SURVEYS) | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | $ 104,927 |
| 1998 | UNIVERSITY OF OKLAHOMA NORMAN CAMPUS | NORMAN | OK | State Government | 1R40MC0011001 | AMERICAN INDIAN FATHERHOOD IN TWO OKLAHOMA COMMUNITIES | 93110 | SCIENTIFIC/HEALTH RESEARCH (INCLUDES SURVEYS) | NEW | $ 154,395 |
| 1997 | OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY | COLUMBUS | OH | State Government | R01HD35702 | IMPROVING AND EVALUATING NLSY FATHERHOOD DATA | 93864 | SCIENTIFIC/HEALTH RESEARCH (INCLUDES SURVEYS) | NEW | $ 119,899 |
| 1995 | ADDISON COUNTY PARENT & CHILD CENTER | MIDDLEBURY | VT | County Government | 90PR0005 | RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD PROJECTS | 93647 | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | $ 85,000 |
| 1995 | INST FOR RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD & FAM. REVITALIZATION | WASHINGTON | DC | Non-Profit Private Non-Government Organizations | 90PR0003 | RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD PROJECTS | 93647 | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | $ 85,000 |
| 1995 | INST FOR RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD & FAM. REVITALIZATION | WASHINGTON | DC | Non-Profit Private Non-Government Organizations | 90PR0004 | RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD PROJECTS | 93647 | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | $ 85,000 |
| 1995 | ST. BERNANDINE’S HEAD START | BALTIMORE | MD | Non-Profit Public Non-Government Organizations | 90PR0002 | RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD PROJECTS | 93647 | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | $ 85,000 |
| 1995 | WISHARD MEMORIAL HOSPITAL | INDIANAPOLIS | IN | County Government | 90PR0001 | RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD PROJECTS | 93647 | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | $ 85,000 |
Notice the variety of recipients, including Universities (this will be useful for later “evidence-based data” resulting from grants to study the topic.
Notice that the TYPE of grants appears to be either “new” or “noncompeting.” Hmmm.
AND NOW Sen Lieberman is reporting on this grassroots movement.
Along with a group of allies, the National Fatherhood Initiative has
been establishing educational programs in hundreds of cities and
towns across America.
It has pulled together bipartisan task forces in
the Senate, the House, and among the Nation’s Governors and
mayors.
YES< there’s ONE thing that a bipartisan majority male Congress and the Nation’s (also primarily male,
if I’m not mistaken??) can unite on, and that the problem with the nation
relates to a lack of male (father) influence on young children throughout the land.
Presumably, these children that are spending, probably, the majority of their waking hours
in school, are not connecting with any decent father figures or adult males and learning from them
good values.
I wonder what the male/female ratio of teachers is in the nation’s elementary and high schools….
It has worked with us to explore public policies that
encourage and support the efforts of fathers to become more involved
in the lives of their children.
Last Monday, the National Fatherhood Initiative held its annual
(FIFTH?) national fatherhood summit here in Washington. At that summit, Gen.
Colin Powell, and an impressive and wide-ranging group of experts
and advocates, talked in depth about the father absence crisis in our
cities and towns and brainstormed about what we can do to turn this
troubling situation around.
And Last June, 2009 President OBAMA, had a “town hall on fatherhood”
which was visited by a major representative in the Violence Against Women movement
(see last post). 15 years later, these articles are still leading, suicides (NOT by the troubled
teens, bu tby at times the fathers who troubled them….) are still happening. Well, the
doctrine’s NOT about to change, it must because THAT murderous, suicide-committing father
HIMSELF had no father model in his life.
There are limits to what we in Government can do to meet this
challenge and advance the cause of responsible fatherhood because,
Because — Because — Because, “regretfully” I supposed according to this point of view,
the FOUNDING Fathers put LIMITS to government into the U.S. Constitution,** and a few
MORE also made their way into the Bill of Rights as Amendments.
(**To appreciate the link — or be tempted to read it, hover cursor over it)
I can’t WAIT til the “Equal Rights” Amendment makes it in, if it ever will.
Of course I would settle for an enforced and respected 14th Amendment:
after all, it is hard to change people’s attitudes and behaviors and
values through legislation.
Possibly because the purpose of legislation is to express THEIR attitudes, by laws they voted on,
or their elected representatives did. Possibly because the purpose of government is to PROTECT
the inalienable rights of citizens….
But that doesn’t mean we are powerless,
Yes, time has shown that the federal grants systems, and initiatives, and private deliberations IS a
way to get around the danged legislation that has made “us” (Who all agree about this fatherhood crisis)
so “powerless.”
nor does it mean we can afford not to try to lessen the impact of a
problem that is literally eating away at our country.
How do you know it’s a PROBLEM and not a SYMPTOM of another problem?
In recent times, we have had a great commonality of concern
expressed in the ideological breadth of the fatherhood promotion
effort both here in the Senate and our task force, but underscored by
statements that the President, the Vice President, and the Secretary
of Health and Human Services have made on this subject in recent
years. Indeed, I think President Clinton most succinctly expressed the
importance of this problem when he said: {{in 1995….?}}}
The single biggest social problem in our society may be the growing
absence of fathers from their children’s homes because it contributes
to so many other social problems.
Again, in your opinion, supported by government-funded research with the premise already supposed.
AS WE CAN SEE BY THE ABOVE NEWS ARTICLE. THE REAL PROBLEM WITH THE SITUATION, AND
WHAT CAUSED THE MAN TO KILL 2 (NOT INCLUDING HIMSELF, AND THE FOSTER MOTHER HE TRIED TO KILL)
was HIS INDIGNANT FEELINGS ABOUT, WELL THE FATHER-ABSENCE IN HIS ADOLESCENT DAUGHTER’S LIFE.
IT WAS, REALLY, LOVE IN ACTION.
(FOR REFERENCE: This was the Monica Lewinsky president, right?
Well, I guess we can overlook that because he has just flown to North Korea,
with a shock of white hair and looking dignified (and leaner) to attempt to retrieve
two FEMALE journalists sentenced to 12 years of hard labor. I hope he succeeds.
However, his signing of that 1995 Memo sentenced women here locally to some unbelievable
long-term trauma, because of its chilling effect on the 14th Amendment (and others)
and the placement of daughters and sons in the household of men who abused (or are
abusing) either them, OR previously their mothers) (case in point).
So there are some things we can and should be trying to do. I am
pleased to note our colleagues, Senators BAYH, DOMENICI, and
others have been working to develop a legislative proposal, which I
think contains some very constructive and creative approaches
Yup, parTICULARLY creative with the laws, due process, and the titling of the
various grants involved. Let alone the use of them, or the monitoring of their use
if any indeed actually takes place.
in which the Federal Government would support financially, with
resources, some of these very promising grassroots father-promotion
efforts,
WOULD support? WOULD support?
Check HHS’s CFDA# 93.086, “promoting responsible fatherhood and healthy marriage” for yourself on THIS site:
http://usaspending.gov (under “SPENDING” “GRANTS”)
and also encourage and enact the removal of some of the
legal and policy barriers that deter men from an active presence in their children’s lives.
A “LEGAL BARRIER” MUST REFER TO A LAW, RIGHT?
Another thing I think we can do to help is to use the platform we
have on the Senate floor–this people’s forum –to elevate this
problem on the national agenda. That is why Senator GREGG and I
have come to the floor today. I am particularly grateful for the
cosponsorship of the Senator from New Hampshire, because he is the
chairman of the Senate Subcommittee on Children and Families.
YES, I AM SURE WE ARE REALLY, REALLY CONCERNED ABOUT CHILDREN AND FAMILIES
MORE THAN CHARACTER, OR LEGAL RIGHTS OF MEN AND WOMEN BOTH….
We are joined by a very broad and bipartisan group of cosponsors which
includes Senators BAYH,
BROWNBACK, MACK, DODD, DOMENICI, JEFFORDS, ALLARD,
COCHRAN, LANDRIEU, BUNNING, ROBB, DORGAN, DASCHLE, and
AKAKA. I thank them all for joining in the introduction of this special
resolution this morning, which is to honor Father’s Day coming this
Sunday,
but also to raise our discussion of the problem of absent fathers in
our hopes for the promotion of responsible fatherhood.
Senator GREGG indicated this resolution would declare this Sunday’s
holiday as National Fathers Return Day and call on dads around the
country to use this day, particularly if they are absent, to reconnect
and rededicate themselves to their children’s lives, to understand and
have the self-confidence to appreciate how powerful a contribution
they can make to the well-being of the children that they have helped
to create, and to start by spending this Fathers’ Day returning for
part of
the day to their children and expressing to their children the love they
have for them and their willingness to support them. [Page: S7164]
The statement we hope to make this morning in this resolution
obviously will not change the hearts and minds of distant or
disengaged fathers, but those of us who are sponsoring the resolution
hope it will help to spur a larger national conversation about the
importance of fatherhood and help remind those absent fathers of
their responsibilities, yes, but also of the opportunity they have to
change the life of their child, about the importance of their
fatherhood, and also help remind these absent
fathers of the value of their involvement.
We ask our colleagues to join us in supporting this resolution, and
adopting it perhaps today but certainly before this week is out to
make as strong a statement as possible and to move us one step
closer to the day when every American child has the opportunity to
have a truly happy Father’s Day because he or she will be spending it
with their father.
I thank the Chair. I yield the floor.
Just for a reminder:
– Slavery Abolished. Ratified 12/6/1865. History
1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted,
shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.
2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.
– Citizenship Rights. Ratified 7/9/1868. Note History
1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States
and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens
of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law;
nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.
WELL, wordcount 5216, enough for today.
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A Radical Idea — Enforce Existing Custody Laws . . and the rest…
(and, “HOW MUCH TIME AND HOW MANY EXPERTS WILL IT TAKE TO FIGURE THIS OUT?”)
This post is in response to, gradually, retroactively, discovering what was published, conferenced, said, explicated, implicated, rationalized, demonstrated, and nationalized during the past ten (or so) years since I filed a domestic violence restraining order, and found out that this person was NOT an isolated, deeply disturbed, person, but was in fact living out a systematic creed, which thrived better in certain types of schizoid linguistic neighborhoods than others — such as, faith institutions and family court.
It is not one of my better posts, except for a few graphics. HOWEVER, I do feel it’s truthful.
What one wants, in the field of Domestic Violence, is STOPPING it. Not theory, but results.
However, unlike in, say music, where there is a range of audiences, many of them who pay, in THIS field, there is a fountain of funding for theorists. Not content to actually work on getting laws enforced, and saving lives, there is constant, constant tinkering, reframing, training, talking and (you get the picture). Well, if you don’t, here’s one:
This pie chart shows Federal Spending by Federal Department:
FEDERAL SPENDING FY 2009 YTD
(legend at the link). PURPLE is Health and Human Services. RUST– is Education
RUST is what we were supposed to learn from “Zero to 5” and from “K-12” (and beyond) but didn’t about behavior ethics and character, as well as the usual academic whatnot (reading, writing, counting, obeying rules, doing homework, working hard, and not joining gangs or impregnating/getting impregnated before one is, say at least 16 or 17 years old….)
PURPLE — that’s primarily catchup, at this point -_ healthy families, responsible fatherhood, early heard start, child development, and many many more things (Including some fantastic funding for more scientific research, medical, and so forth).
Despite the majority of federal spending going there, we are behind in education, and people are still killing spouses and/or children after divorce, or over the issue of child support, even. Children are kidnapped over these issues, traumatizing them and burdening society further.
Grants, once established, are like the energizer battery, and just keep on going, going, going for the most part. WHO is reporting WHAT as to the results?
Are results measured by people who go through the programs (a headcount) or by the headlines? As finances are a major predictor and risk factor in otherwise stressed relationships, perhaps we ought to find out what’s happening to these finances.
SO, I put it this way,. . . .
If a “lightbulb” going off signifies “Aha!” — understanding, my question is, . . .
How many social science, legal, and
court-associated experts does it take
to UNscrew a lightbulb?
http://www.moonbattery.com/archives/light-bulb-ban.jpg
and
My experience, and others’, and the headlines, show that frequent contact with a batterer, including frequent visitation
(however supervised, however accessed, however negotiated) can be hazardous to your physical and mental health.
I never got supervised. As a consequence, I consistently was traumatized, stalked, harrassed, and lost work — and eventually children around this. Because I knew this to be a NOT safe situation, I had to choose between seeing my children, ever (even when court had ordered it), and working steadily, EVER, basically. The exchange was not a 15 minute exchange with court orders poorly written as mine, and going to court to fix this had never resulted in anything (in my case) but significant loss.
It was a traumatic and awful experience every time except for THE first time, when I finally got domestic violence restraining order with kickout and had a little space to begin repairing and rebuilding every area of life this battering thing had knocked out of kilter, including work, relationships, and physically, aspects of the house (not to mention my health).
Now, to find out later, how MANY experts had been practicing how MANY ideas in which areas of the United States (and the funding they got to do this), and how LITTLE actual input from litigants seems to have been sought — a typical list of what are called “stakeholders” doesn’t include the people affected MOST directly: Moms, Dads, and Children. No, the stakeholders, in some people’s view, are the professionals — well it’s saddening they need SO much training to figure out what I (and others) could have easily told them — and what’s already on the rules of court, samples of which I link to below.
BUT, now,
Here comes yet another federal grant to explicate, reframe, and contextualize what the rest of us know needs to be simply STOPPED:
BWJP has been invited to apply for a grant from the Office on Violence Against Women for (1) a demonstration project to develop (2) a framework to guide custody and visitation decisions in cases involving domestic violence. Research on custody and visitation determinations provide(3)troubling evidence that procedures currently in use in family courts often fail to(4) identify, contextualize and account for the occurrence of domestic violence in these cases, and if identified, (5) its presence seems not to consistently affect the court’s recommendations regarding custody or visitation arrangements.(My numbers, and color coding, added for commentary, below)….
Let me translate:
(1)
First of all “Demonstration project” means that a few areas around the country will be targeted for experimentation with some new policies (the litigants are generally not going to be told, incidentally). Then, apart again from LITIGANT feedback, as in “we are running a demonstration project and would like your feedback”, but rather, taken from things such as mediation, evaluation, and other statistical reports-from-the-courts (etc.), someone you have never heard of will (without your input) describe, evaluate, and report on this grant. (sometimes there is an uncomfortably close relationship between people GETTING the grants and people EVALUATING the grants).
After that, depending on how that reporting went, it will be expanded nationwide, at government expense, usually.
ONE THING GETS OMITTED: Lots of poor people don’t have internet access, or time to research who’s doing what about them. One aspect of violence is isolation and intentional breakdown of infrastructure. Trust me, (or don’t), most women don’t stick around for abuse, given other viable ways to get out of it. At some point, one figures out the abuser ain’t going to change, and the question then, if not at survival level yet, becomes safest exit. If it is sensed that this exit is about to happen, the controls tighten. TRUST ME, they do.
(2)
“A framework to guide custody and visitation decisions.”
? ? ?
There already IS a framework in place: Laws, and rules of court.
A). Laws. These laws were passed by elected representatives in legislatures, and as such, that’s a fairly FAIR process. When it comes to domestic violence, SOME of these include the word “rebuttable presumption against” and are followed by phrases such as “custody” or “joint custody” and the word “batterer.”
HALFWAY or less through family court process, I figured I’d get smart and look up the pertinent LAWS. Silly me, I didn’t know about the system of federal grants, policies, and that I lived in a nation with a national religion called “Designer Families.”
My point is: There is NOT a need to continue doing this. The framework exists. The only reason to continue conferring more and more is, I can only deduce, to further undermine and restructure it. OUT OF PUBLIC HEARING. . . .. .
Here’s one law(among many) that was deliberately ignored in my case:
278. Every person, not having a right to custody, who maliciously takes, entices away, keeps, withholds,or conceals a child andmaliciously deprives a lawful custodian of a right to custody,or a person of a right to visitation, shall bepunished by imprisonment in a county jail not exceeding one year, a fine not exceeding one thousand dollars ($1,000), or both that fine and imprisonment, or by imprisonment in the state prison for 16 months, or two or three years, a fine not exceeding ten thousand dollars ($10,000), or both that fine and imprisonment(b) Nothing contained in this section limits the court's contempt power. (c) A custody order obtained after the taking, enticing away, keeping, withholding, or concealing of a child does not constitute a defense to a crime charged under this section.This single law was the framework that crumbled about 1-1/2 years prior to my starting this blog.
Along with the pre-existing (to that crime) employment. I guess someone had been explicating andtraining court personnel out of remembering this, and instead to reward this (criminal) endeavorwith a custody switch.The law is fairly reasonable in certain areas pertaining to domestic violence. For example, it’s either a misdemeanor or a felony.I’m not sure whether child abuse could EVER be less than a felony, but in some venues it’s getting a little hard to tell. Probably, as I say,they are conferencing about how to figure out which is which, and whether they should report, intervene, or ignore. Or apply“therapeutic jurisprudence” to the entire family unit because ONE of them committed a bunch of misdemeanor or felony crimes.
B) Rules of court. Although I was clueless that these existed for most of my case, someone was kind eventually and sent me the list of the local ones, so I KNEW what had been done wrong in my case from start to finish. Now I’m so smart, I even know who makes these rules. There are rules to insure due process, and there ARE rules directed TO mediators about the quality of orders coming out of this.
I was shocked when I read mine. The california ones are at: http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/rules
HECK, if you scroll down, you can even read the Code of Judicial Ethics, too.
| California Rules of Court | |
| Title One. Rules Applicable to All Courts (Rules 1.1 – 1.200) | HTML | PDF(190 KB) |
| Title Two. Trial Court Rules (Rules 2.1 – 2.1100) | HTML | PDF(952 KB) |
| Title Three. Civil Rules (Rules 3.1 – 3.2120) | HTML | PDF(1832 KB) |
| Title Four. Criminal Rules (Rules 4.1 – 4.601) | HTML | PDF(5819 KB) |
| Title Five. Family and Juvenile Rules (Rules 5.1 – 5.830) | HTML | PDF(3518 KB) |
| Title Six. [Reserved] | PDF (84 KB) |
| Title Seven. Probate Rules (Rules 7.1 – 7.1101) | HTML | PDF(5978 KB) |
| Title Eight. Appellate Rules (Rules 8.1 – 8.1125) | HTML | PDF(3208 KB) |
| Title Nine. Rules on Law Practice, Attorneys, and Judges (Rules 9.1 – 9.61) | HTML | PDF(549 KB) |
| Title Ten. Judicial Administration Rules (Rules 10.1 – 10.1030) | HTML | PDF(2113 KB) |
| Standards of Judicial Administration (Standards 2.1 – 10.80) | HTML | PDF(775 KB) |
| Ethics Standards for Neutral Arbitrators in Contractual Arbitration | PDF (101 KB) |
| Appendix A: Judicial Council Legal Forms List | PDF (510 KB) |
| Appendix B: Liability Limits of a Parent or Guardian Having Custody and Control of a Minor for the Torts of a Minor | PDF (14 KB) |
| Appendix C: Guidelines for the Operation of Family Law Information Centers and Family Law Facilitator Offices | PDF (27 KB) |
| Alternative Format: Complete California Rules of Court in PDF format, compressed into a single .ZIP file. | ZIP of PDF Files (updated: 7/1/2009, 6.79 MB) |
| Code of Judicial Ethics Formal standards of conduct for judges and candidates for judicial office. |
(3)
“procedures currently in use in family court”
Does this mean procedures, as in those that the rules of court mandate, or procedures, as in what actually takes place?
(4)
“identify, contextualize and account for”
Excuse me, “contextualize”??? Maybe the new rules of court will explain this a little better. Does that mean, did the little child see it or not see it, or were they hit in the process? Does this mean, “in context” it was justifiable, I.e., “the devil made me do it!,” or “temporary insanity,” whereas, say, in a criminal or civil court, it would be the mundane misdemeanor worthy of some court action?
(5)
its presence seems not to consistently affect the court’s recommendations regarding custody or visitation arrangements.
I’d have to say that’s false. Reporting and identifying this appears to have the result that custody is often switched, according to a document (which I BELIEVE I linked to from BWJP’s site, although I would have to track back on this one).
Family courts traumatize battered women and hand custody to their abusers 37 percent of the time, finds a report released today (5/2008) by the Voices of Women Organizing Project. Latest story in our “Dangerous Trends, Innovative Responses” series.
“The courts’ own rules and regulations are often not followed,” Lob said. “Those kinds of things just seem so blatantly unfair and unreasonable.”
Eighty percent said their abusers used the courts to follow through on a threat to gain sole custody of the children and prevent the children from being in contact with their mothers.
Women were advised, sometimes by lawyers, not to mention domestic violence in one-quarter of cases, and not to challenge custody for fear of worsening the situation.
“To me, that’s the shocking thing,” Lob said. “We’re in a position where it’s actually sound advice for a woman not to raise these issues.”
Fifty-eight percent of women said that asking for child support triggered retaliation from their abusers.
I have personally talked myself into two conferences which were ABOUT people like me, but not FOR people like me. While these were tremendously validating and exciting (plus I spoke some informally at one of them), I was in the heat of the battle at the time (and losing total contact with my kids, but — barely — retaining the remaining single job that had survived the last round) – – BUT, I repeat, they weren’t typically inviting people like me. You have to research, knock, call, send away and beg (generally speaking, after a certain point in the family law process, someone is going to be destitute. it is simply not possible to stay in that system, be stripped of protection, and maintain a livelihood, without some extreme support or ingenious ways of getting basic needs handled.
Add to this that some of the long, drawn-out custody battles come after leaving a systematic abuser, which before separation can really wear out a person, it gets kinda interesting maintaining some work momentum.
ANYHOW, now, being a little better networked (referring to internet access AND knowing other people), I have found many of the:
- foundations
- publications
- organizations
- websites
- key authors
- key concepts
. . . . . and so forth, that like to talk about what I call “us,” meaning, Mothers Determined to Leave Domestic Violence (WITH kids).
It’s like any other life skill, or professional skill — after say 10 years of extensive exposure (immersion style), networking, reading, and so forth, one gets a little bit of fluency. I mean, that’s how I learned math, music, langauges, other things. Same deal here.
But unlike some other fields, for example music — I don’t think people at the top of this field typically are tone-deaf or unable to play a single instrument. If they compose, often they can play many. What one wants in this field is SOUND.
There are already laws about domestic violence as it pertains to custody.
There are already rules of court about mediation, not that I am in favor of mandated mediation at any point in time.
There are rules of court about what can go in in court. For example, a judge should not be taking testimony — and making decisions based on it — from someone who is not under oath, which happened in my case.
A judge should not make a critical decision (for example, switching custody) following criminal behavior regarding custody. There should not be partiality, and in particular, when threatening behavior clearly intended to obstruct justice has been reported, that took place outside the courtroom, this should raise an eyebrow. I had reported stalking, and submitted a signed eyewitness account. It was filed and ignored.
A judge should also give the legal and factual basis on which a decision is made when directly (in writing) requested to by an attorney, which the one in my case did not.
A mediator should take a few minutes to actually ascertain readily available (and relevant) facts before spouting off.
Now, as to the niceties of IS it domestic violence, or is it NOT domestic violence, and was THAT assault, THAT court order violation, THAT threat, or THAT child abuse as reported by CPS, a D.A., or anyone else, REALLY harmful to the child? – – – why, exactly, are all these volumes of press, books, conferences, etc. being written?
I see it as simple. Don’t HIT, don’t STALK, don’t THREATEN, don’t HARASS, don’t Destroy property of, and (whatever else the protective order reads in the particular case). It’s REALLY in basic, high school English, and doesn’t require extensive interpretation, does it, REALLY?
Another one should be obvious — don’t lie in court, or on the record, then when caught in a BIG one, make up a new one. If this goes on repeatedly, do judges need to attend institutes and conferences in order to be trained how to notice this?
SO JUST ASK ME — I’ll explain it real clear to any attorney, judge, mediator, or any one else who is still unclear that the 3-letter word “law” means “law,” and that the 5-letter word “order” means “order,” and the 7-letter word “custody” means “custody.” I have been a parent, and a teacher, and I”m not TOO confused on this generally speaking. I don’t wing it constantly, veer radically back and forth between whether I actually expect a standard to count, or not count. When learning a new skill, I focus on that one and “call” it consistently (speaking in group situations) til the point gets home.
The skill someone who has been systematically been engaging in domestic violence, which is the word VIOLENCE in it, and which includes a pattern of coercive behavior that violates boundaries (and law), and generally in “order” to give “orders” to the victim. The physical attacks (threats, intimidation, property destruction, punishments, animal abuse, isolation, and a whole other array of possible intentionally humiliating and dependency-inducing behavior towards another adult — OR child) have been compared to “POW” techniques. They are not consistent, so the person is kept on edge as to what may provoke what. Sometimes, a person can’t handle this, and provokes an explosion intentionally rather than live in the tense buildup, anticipation, and fear. It may be the one thing they CAN control in the situation. BUT, overall, what it’s “ABOUT” is giving orders. Period. Hapazardly. Basically, it’s tyranny.
I never was unclear about this for long. Not the first or second time one gets hit in the home — the dynamic is basically clear.
NOW — here we are “out” and this pattern of attempting to give orders, on the part of the former batterer, continues. WHAT is the obvious safe solution? The obvious need is to send a clear, clear message to this individual that he (or she) is now NOT in control and allowed to manipulate and give orders, instead he (or she), is now in the position of TAKING orders from a higher authority — the courts, backed up by police and the threat of arrest/jail. This is THE primary need at this time.
How does family law handle it instead? I found out, the exact opposite way. So, I found myself, during exchanges, repeatedly explaining to the various personnel involved (including police officers, who failed to get it) that the any ORDERS I was now under were the existing court orders, and I expected them to be adhered to so I could live a sane life. Between me, and the father of the girls, there was never any lack of clarity in the situation. Observed over a period of years (in family law), a court order would be obtained, and violated the FIRST weekend (or day) after its issuance. He was acting like a two-year old, testing boundaries, and getting his right to violate every time.
When a woman then puts her foot down in this manner, SHE is labeled, and the whole “thing” is labeled as “high-conflict.”
Well of course it’s high-conflict! Did we expect such a batterer to lie down and play passive easily? When someone is not looking?
Someone who’s gotten away with mayhem, which brings attention and benefits (compliance), and this is confronted, there is going to be conflict. That doesn’t mean it’s a two-way conflict. If the courts would simply pay attention to the situation instead of trying to be so “smart” all the time, more people would survive. IN plain English, this means, fewer would die. NO ONE should have to die for leaving a violent or abusive marriage, and expecting their children to be protected – – and their rights respected — also.
But they do.
Domestic violence per se can be and often is, lethal. It often escalates without warning, and without intervention (including separation)
basically ONLY escalates. Mediation is inadvisable in these cases, and joint custody is a recipe for societal trauma, and debt upon debt.
Mediation is MANDATORY in my area. I can document (now) how our particular mediator violated the rules of court at every opportunity.
SOMEWHERE (i read it) it says that a “spousal batterer” IS a clear and present danger to the physical AND mental health of the citizens of (this state, although technically we are US Citizens, not State citizens).
Study after study — including of substance abusers of various sorts (i refer to Acestudy.org, again), of prostitutes, of adult abusers or victims, and people with significant difficulties later in life (including in forming healthy relationships) – – shows that a violent, battering parent is NOT a good role model. The light bulb is already screwed in for the real stakeholders — those whose lives are at stake.
But the experts are not done yet . . . . . Even though things are already in the law.
FINALLY, the lightbulbs are going off in MY understanding as to why they won’t go off in people’s understanding whose children and lives are NOT at risk in a volatile situation, and who can (safe from the hearing of litigants or custodial mothers, in particular, or domestic violence survivors — or the children who are being molested on regular exchanges with a noncustodial parent — and so forth) : If the light bulb went off, where would they publish? Who would pay them to train the advocates, the judges, the attorneys, the mediators, and the psychologists? WHO would travel around the country and the world to discuss, well people that sometimes have trouble traveling 5-10 miles down the road to see their own kids on a weekend? (case in point).
WHAT’S THE EXCUSE FOR NOT ACTING CONSISTENTLY ON THESE BASICALLY SENSIBLE LAWS?
Here’s another reference I ran across researching something else:
IT DATES BACK TO THE YEAR 2006
{{EDITING NOTE: LINKS DIDN’T COME THROUGH — I WILL RETURN AND FIX}}
The 37-page original is downloadable. These pages have footnotes. It is well worth a read. Here is the cover page:
There are organizations (and the author here is on the board of one of them) who appear — I’ll take responsibility and qualify “to me,” although I am certainly not the only person of this opinion — to be HIGHLY invested in reframing the issue of Domestic Violence (and joint custody after it) from being a terrible role model for children, and experience for either parent, into something that people can be “counseled” out of. Supervised visitation is touted as a “solution” to this problem. People have been killed around supervised visitation, and the literature on this acknowledges it. Still, it’s ordered, and sometimes used as penalties for parents reporting their fears, or hurt to their children.
One has to ask why/ The ONLY reason i can come up with, primarily, is it’s a GREAT profession talking (and publishing) about what to do, and it’s also a great profession, “parenting classes.” There is little to no substantial evidence that even domestic violence (batterers intervention) classes change a spouse highly invested in the coercive control dynamic. Newspapers OFTEN report murders occuring shortly after someone was cleared from a DV class — or had violated a restraining order multiple times, without incarceration. The latest high-profile one I can think of (in California) was Danielle Keller and “Porn King” Mitchell (which I’ve blogged about recently). One in about 2005 that absolutely frightened me was a stalker — just a boyfriend relationship — the woman he was stalking, her body was found in the car trunk a few days after passing with flying colors the latest set of “classes.”
That’s playing Russian Roulette with people’s lives. I object, on behalf of my life, and my kids, and others, to this policy, of trying to “ascertain” who could and who could not benefit from counseling. I counsel strict consequences for domestic violence, which is a lesson in itself.
Regarding Expert Conferences (this, and others, and others, and others) – – – MOST domestic violence victims simply can’t afford to attend them! We can’t afford to subscribe to their publications, and our opinions are NOT asked — in a truly collaborative sense — in these matters. If they were, we’d say, probably to a woman, as mothers: “JUST SAY NO!”
Domestic violence includes economic abuse, and often access to the internet, or internet skills CAN be an ongoing issue. I know that in my situation, I was discouraged from using the PC unless it contributed directly to family income (his), and even in one case, I had to turn down a stable source of income from home to accommodate his desire to keep me without electronic contact with the outside world. When I finally obtained it, at around $8, or was it $18 (DNR)/month, I remember shuddering with fear as the vehicle pulled into the driveway, and praying that my internet would be turned off before he got in the front door. I had at this time worked substantial office support jobs and was internet fluent.
Another reason our voices are often not heard — not really — is that we do not have sufficient funding to take the time and write, post, publish, and attend conferences. If we have children, we are taking care of them, and ourselves. If we do NOT have children, the priority is getting back to them. And if we are domestic violence survivors of any substantial length (OR are in court with such an ex-partner or ex-spouse), it is pretty well guaranteed sheer economic survival is an ongoing issue.
Currently, I am reaching an overload on some of these topics, emotionally — and also have the situation to handle, which is not yet final, either. Support systems are constantly eroded til one begins to wonder what the prime identity is. We may trust people we know individually and personally, but after a certain point, one gets very jaundiced about organizations, ESPECIALLY nonprofit organizations promising help.
One of the best primers I am aware of on custody issues with batterers is called “The Batterer As Parent” (Bancroft/Silverman, Sage, Thousand Oaks 2002). It’s coming up on 7 years since it was published. I’ve personally heard a domestic violence expert, whose job it was to testify in criminal cases, say that this is a classic. I have this book, and my copy is dog-eared. It talks about ALL the things that the family law system as a whole absolutely REFUSES to do — support the nonabusive parent in her — or his — relationship with the children. Be wary of the risk of kidnapping (in my case, the court literally not only failed to act to protect my kids from this, after I requested it, but also failed to acknowledge it — WHEN IT HAPPENED! It talks about being aware that batterers are often chronic and convincing liars, and also of the overlap with incest perpetration.
Here are some of the ‘Scholarly” cites of this book:
Characteristics of court-mandated batterers in four cities: Diversity and dichotomies
EW Gondolf – Violence Against Women, 1999 – vaw.sagepub.com
… 1283 TABLE 2 Family Status and Parents’ Behavior of Batterers in Four Cities (in
percentages) Batterer Program Pittsburgh Denver Houston Dallas Total …
Cited by 63 – Related articles – All 3 versions
Men who batter: some pertinent characteristics.
FJMS FITCH, A Papantonio – Journal of Nervous & Mental Disease, 1983 – jonmd.com
… The authors report statistics on five major correlates of such men: violence between
the batterer’s parents, abuse of the batterer when he was a child, alcohol …
Cited by 52 – Related articles – All 3 versions
HERE IT IS IN ALL ITS 1999 GLORY AND INSIGHT, EXPERTS BACK THEN KNEW THE RISKS:
Supervised visitation in cases of domestic violence
– ►ouhsc.edu [PDF]
M Sheeran, S Hampton – Juvenile and Family Court Journal, 1999 – HeinOnline
… remain: visitation centers are not a guarantee of safety for vulnerable family members;
they do little to improve the ability of a batterer to parent in a …
Cited by 23 – Related articles – BL Direct – All 3 versions
Legal and policy responses to children exposed to domestic violence: The need to …
PG Jaffe, CV Crooks, DA Wolfe – Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 2003 – Springer
… REFERENCES Bancroft, L., & Silverman, JG (2002). The batterer as parent.
Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. Brown, T. (2000). Charging and …
Cited by 19 – Related articles – BL Direct – All 3 versions
Childhood family violence history and women’s risk for intimate partner violence and poor …
– ►wa.gov [PDF]
L Bensley, J Van Eenwyk, K Wynkoop … – American journal of preventive medicine, 2003 – Elsevier
… 14. L. Bancroft and JG Silverman. The batterer as parent: addressing the impact
of domestic violence on family dynamics, Sage, Thousand Oaks CA (2002). 15. …
Cited by 71 – Related articles – All 11 versions
[BOOK] Children of alcoholics: A guidebook for educators, therapists, and parents
RJ Ackerman – 1983 – Learning Publications
Cited by 52 – Related articles – All 2 versions
[CITATION] The batterer as parent: Addressing the impact of domestic violence on family dynamics ( …
L Bancroft, JG Silverman – Brown, Frederico, Hewitt, & Sheehan, Problems and …
Cited by 2 – Related articles
Batterers‘reports of recidivism after counseling
A DeMaris, JK Jackson – Social Casework, 1987 – ncjrs.gov
… had problems with alcohol, and had witnessed violence between their parents. The
small sample size, the limited credibility of batterers‘ self-reports, and the
WELL, what to do? TALK some more? Out of the hearing of women and children?
I’ve managed to talk myself into a few conferences — I couldn’t afford the entrance fees for the most part. In one, I passed as a professional, up to a point. In another, I spoke about my story, and the PTSD it triggered (I was inbetween court hearings about whether or not I’d ever see my kids again) caused me to misplace the car (and house) keys and almost have to spend a night on the streets, as I’d just lost contact with the last round of professional colleagues locally. This MIGHT have cost me the last remaining job, but a very recent contact (and a current client) pulled off a “rescue.” FYI, abuse runs in families, and families are not always there to assist in the buffer zone.
About two years later, I learned that this particlar domestic violence organization (which I mistakenly — it’s a common mistake — confused with a group that was intent in stopping violence against women, i.e., saving our lives, helping us leave situations like that — has a linguistic profile similar to the whitehouse.gov “virtually invisible in public agenda” absence of the word “mother” in its website. A glance at the funding (more than a glance, actually) showed WHY.
It’s easy to make a declaration if it’s a closed -corporation discussion. It’s not that these groups don’t ACKNOWLEDGE the problems, but that they do not acknowledge how their SOLUTIONS exacerbate the already existing problems, of a parent with a REALLY bad attitude, and some REALLy serious problems that a few classes, or even a years’ worth, may or may NOT address.
And if these classes are concurrent with a typical course of action ina faith-based institution, the effects PROBABLY will cancel each other out, when it comes to protection of women.
That’s about all the time I have to post today. I hope this is proving informative.
You cannot have fatherhood and feminists in the same government grants gene pool and expect to get further down the road. The effects will cancel each other out, and leave yet larger and larger debt.
Currently, stipulations MANDATED by the VAWA act on Supervised Visitation (safe havens) contradict — categorically — with stipulations from the Health and Human Services “access visitation” grants. There’s a history (and a financial profile) to this, and I’m reading it these days. It took a while to grasp the “why.” I had to apply a rule I thought I’d mastered earlier — don’t take ANYTHING at face value, and do your background research on who’s who and doing what with whom. It’s a pain in the neck, but wise to do. As I used to learn the field of my profession (music), the terminology, to distinguish good from excellent, and know who’s who in general in my field (and as to the organizations also), it can be done in these fields also.
Again, I am still getting nationwide and intercontinental visitors — any of you are welcome to comment, particularly if you have checked any of the links and agree, or disagree. And remember — if you’re a parent, try to stay AWAY from the child support agency and work it out some other way, especially if you begin divorce or separation as a custodial mother.
Caveat emptor. (“Buyer beware”) There is no free lunch — the bill comes in later. You pay in your freedom, and you may very well pay with your future, and your children’s.
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The Golden State’s Gold Rush, 1998-2009, Healing Families, Promoting Responsible Fatherhood
FYI: In re budget crisis……
For your viewing pleasure and information.
http://www.taggs.hhs.gov/AdvancedSearchResults.cfm
This unbelievably patronizing budget, focused on healthy marriages, head starts, responsible fatherhood, parenting classes, and forcing adults who separated — often for the woman’s, or the man’s own safety and sanity — to stay joined at the hip (through “access/visitation grants — more on this below), and thereafter trying to manage “high-conflict relationships” — through the court system – is (collectively) the truly most IRresponsible father(land) I have yet met.
Most irresponsible fathers will affect a family line, and those individuals who come into contact with members of that family line, through work or otherwise. This, however, respresents an unbelievably presumptuous and dishonest treatment of the portion of the American public that, by maintaining taxpaying employement or employEES, including many who populate and staff its institutions, pays its bills.
At some point it is simply responsible to admit that a relationship has failed, and separate. ESPECIALLY in cases involving battering, domestic violence, or other forms of abuse. Or even, say, ongoing promiscuity — or refusal to participate in supporting the household — on the part of one or both partners. Generally speaking it’s one more than another. One person has been “used.” This is a horrible example for any children involved, and a real drain on the community, which often has to make up the gap. But the principle of cutting one’s losses can come to the rescue, and stop the process before another family is dead, or homeless, or traumatized out of social functionality.
When it comes to hazardous JOBS, if there is an alternative, a person is allowed to of his or her own free will, QUIT.
I admit that some people take relationships casually, and perhaps when these people are identified, their LOCAL communities should address the issue. But good grief — to try to force this on an entire NATION, and bill the entire nation (those who pay taxes) to fund the concept that there should be a chicken in every pot (yet we have vegetarians), and a biologically related FATHER in every child’s life, no matter whether this is good for the kid, or the mother or not — that’s budget suicide, and sometimes suicide for him, and death for the Moms too, or children. This is the story the headlines are telling us. Some people don’t handle stress and relationships well, and are better off kept away from the person they hate to the point of having committed crimes against their partner. Rather than face their personal demons, they externalize, blame (“demonize”) someone else, and then attack and attempt to destroy them, and people associated with them.
I am sorry to say this, but this at times includes the children. When a situation has become dangerous to a parent, then to suddenly proclaim “Kids need their Dads no matter what!” is social insanity. And, presently, policy.
Why not when it comes to hazardous marriages? WHY?? oh WHY??? is the Federal Government encouraging the States encouraging the Courts (with help from “faith-based” organizations and “Community Action Organizations” and other nonprofits of dubious parentage) to rake divorcing families over the coals in order to recreate a United States in which EVERY child has a Dad in his or her life, and EVERY mother has either a MAN in her life (if he’s alive), OR the Government telling her how to raise her children and educate her children (and by virtue of this, her lifestyle? To be permanently punished for a poor choice of spouse or partner, when one has otherwise behaved in an upright and responsible citizenhood fashion, is abusive, and a sign Federal Government In Loco Parentis having totally forgotten its own origins: “of, by for the people” and “consent of the governed.” It has lost its mind — or, has NOT lost its mind, and is of a mind to leech a living off its own people by creating a constant source of conflict, between the courts, promoting this “fatherhood” thing (alongside most fundamentalist religions) and the nationwide school curriculum saying “It’s Elementary” (etc.) that some families have two parents of the same sex, and anyone who disagrees is committing a hate crime.
It seems to me that in both institutions – courts, and schools — a habitual undermining of basic civil rights, as well as promotion of a certain “religion” (in one place, the nuclear family, in the other, the dismantling of the traditional nuclear family [if indeed this ever existed], both practically and as to teaching), and at the other end — as people come of age to procreate, which appears to be a more engaging activity than the studies in many public schools — as if an afterthought, now that some of these parents are on welfare, this same government then wants to now teach them how to be parents, especially Dads. Moms are taught by default how to make babies for government studies and programs; the fodder for Ph.D. “Child Development Scholars” and other therapists.
OK, now that that’s out of my system, how this relates to
the “Gold Rush” in the “Golden State,”. . . .
I’ve posted below, for only ONE state, and only TWO “Categories of Federal Domestic Assistance” (“CFDA”), and from only ONE major U.S. Exeuctive Branch Department, “Health and Human Services.” These are (some of) the many types of grants given for redesigning the U.S. family. Apparently the also significant U.S. Dept. of Education didn’t do a good enough job the first time through (either that, or it’s them “foreigners” (meaning, any group whose feet hit these shores en masse after your particular ethnic group did, except Native Americans…). We need to constantly make and remake the family til we get it right one of these days.
Again, this is only SOME of where your funding for the local public schools, homeless assistance, or law enforcement, or other social services went. It went in large part into social engineering programs.
OH, by the way, these programs are also compromising due process in the courts ~~even in the family courts which exist primarily to compromise evidence for conciliation to start with!~~ so they are affecting civil and legal rights under the U.S. Constitution. That we let this happen is probably a factor of the educational system (and NOT accidental over the decades….), which teaches us neither, really, how government NOR the economy actually operate. Nor is it real good at uncensored history, especially the history of its own self (dating to a little while after the Civil War, and before women got the vote).
So, this time, I searched:
- CFDA #s: 93086 (healthy marriage), 93597 (Access Visitation Grants to states)
- California Only (California has largest court system)
- All Years, All Recipients, All etc..
I usually cannot get the chart to confine itself to the margins of this post — it goes off into the “blogroll” area and becomes unreadable.
It’s better to view the original site; to this end, welcome to a research tool. Don’t you want to know WHY some fathers are committing homicide/suicide in desparation over the economy, or (overentitled?) outrage at being ousted, or because they have been publically humiliated in some fashion their psyches could not or would not handle. Why a decade after this started, can’t we keep up with the family fatalities before the next generation of irresponsible (because, and ONLY because, according to this viewpoint, they were) fatherless Dads is born?
(Present CEO of the nation that styles itself as leader of the ostensibly Free World excepted).
NOTE: Mothers are used to being put down, humiliated, forced to beg, and treated like second class citizens for so long, we are not typically going off the deep end over loss of social status by murdering our kids, our spouses, or if they’re not available, someone else associated with them will do. Women as a whole or men as a whole are not culprits. We come in different colors, income levels, temperaments, and psyches. ON THE OTHER HAND, given this, a governmental attempt to define us, our relationships, and our children, is going to be resisted. It’s a recipe for ongoing conflict, and economic drain. I suggest ALL U.S. Citizens take a serious look at this. Here’s ONE underestimated tool.
In almost seven years in the system, I didn’t find ONE entity apart from this site, point me to this federal department. One humble but FULL website did. http://www.nafcj.net. The site didn’t get my attention (no gov’t grants helped its design, or press), but what it said did.
MOST organizations that say “prevention of violence” in them or “stop abuse” or “battered women” or even “family court reform” or something similar, don’t even mention this TAGGS site or point us to investigate its activities. Father’s groups naturally wouldn’t, or they could no longer claim that concerns about certain social epidemics just “emerged.” They did nothing of the sort — they were urged, publicized, promoted, and proclaimed, from Top Down, in typical government style. I have now gotten to the point of finding out UP FRONT before I deal with any nonprofit or “let us help you” group, who is funding them. You should too. Ignorance ain’t bliss. And it’s got to be a sin (faith-community or no faith-community) to fail to inform women in trauma filing protective orders about all the cooks in the kitchen.
SO . . . ..
ARE YOU A U.S. CITIZEN OR RESIDENT? THEN
THIS PAGE IS YOUR FRIEND — PLEASE GET ACQUAINTED
IT IS A RHETORIC RADAR. IT IS A DOGMA DETECTOR.
IT IS A GULLIBILITY REDUCER**
EDUCATE THYSELF!
http://taggs.hhs.gov
**
For example, when Glenn Sacks, Jeffrey Leving, Esq. Sen. Evan Bayh, or President Obama — or any noble-sounding nonprofit (or government agency) such as “American Coalition for Fathers and Children“ [Doesn’t THAT sound worthy, and united and concerned about, well, FAMILIES??] — writes, blogs, or receives high-profile press coverage stating that we need MORE money to stop the woefully underfunded fatherhood movement (as if this was a new crisis the U.S. (i.e., taxes) hadn’t already poured millions into, without addressing, for example, how the US being the world’s largest jailer MIGHT relate to why SOME kids are fatherless) you will realize when they are simply lying.
Or, whether they are actually quoting each other and playing Good Cop, Bad Cop {{pretending to fight with each other and be more separate in intent than they actually are}} to confuse the viewers (see ACFC link above). Broad allegations and statements are made without links or cites, such as this, (date, 2007):
AUTHORS: Glenn Sacks, Mike McCormick:
The biggest problem with the Responsible Fatherhood Act, however, is that it reflects its authors’ misunderstanding of fatherlessness. Obama says he seeks to “make it easier” for men who choose to be responsible fathers, but his bill ignores the biggest roadblock fathers face—CLAIM: a family law system which does little to protect the loving bonds these dads share with their children.
FACT: The duty of any COURT system [[HINT: JUDICIAL branch, not LEGISLATIVE — remember this??]] is to protect the existing laws, not re-write them. To determine and allocate consequences for people who violate laws, especially intentionally and repeatedly.
To make sure that due process happens and evidence is considered as to whether the EXISTING laws have been (a) observed or (b) violated. There are also RULES for many courts, to aid in the process.
FACT: The primary characteristic of the “family law SYSTEM” is the prominent use of outside the courtroom decision making. Even the Acronym of this organization “ACFC” is modeled after another organization “AFCC” which title means “Association of Family and Conciliation Courts,” an international organization of dubious tax-compliance history until someone caught them operating out of the Los Angeles County Courthouse without a separate EIN (IRS Tax) # — i.e., until they got caught in an audit — and drenched with psychologists, mediators, & custody evaluators holding international!! conferences, with judges and attorneys (conflict of interest there, anyone?) publishing, promoting, and proclaiming all kinds of theories (and making alliances) that the average low-income litigant is naively unaware of, not invited to, and not encouraged to know about. All of this is patronizingly, ostensibly, for the greater good, or the country, the families, and I suppose apple pie, too. As such, these experts don’t trouble to tell ignorant litigants about their alliances, or how much profit is made from the conferences, books, trainings, and publications.
IRONICALLY, IN 1992, per this source, the courts are drenched with:
2.Due Process Violations
a. Lack of procedural and evidentiary due process,since the Family Code was
separated from the Code of Civil Procedure and the Evidence Code in
1994.
b. Attorneys quit prematurely in violation of procedural and ethical laws.
c. Orders issued after ex parte hearings an/or in chambers meetings or upon
the judge’s discretion without proper notice and evidentiary hearing.
d. Removal of testimony from the court (where it should be) under the guise
of mediation and evaluation.There is no control over the mediation and
evaluation processes, no public debate of the issues, and no record of evi-
dence. Once an evaluation report is issued, the court makes few discre-
tionary decisions and rubber stamps the report.
e. Presumption that the parents are “equal” upon dissolution in spite of evi-
dence to the contrary
Or, whether (possibly) having used one of themselves for a specific purpose, they then turn and backstab the same person. Kind of like a high-conflict, divorcing bitter spouse might.
Now you, too (I ALREADY DID), can have a catharsis (SHOCK) of understanding of WHY there is “Disorder in the Courts” and certain systems appear broken, when they aren’t really. They are doing exactly what they were designed to do — create a cash flow and ongoing transfer of wealth from the taxpaying public into the hands of the “experts” and away from two working parents (whether cohabiting, married, or not) to children, their offspring.
Here’s the “TAGGS” site.
Tracking Accountability in Government Grants System
(You didn’t expect to pass Big Brother 101 without learning a few acronyms, did you?)
Welcome!
The Tracking Accountability in Government Grants System (TAGGS) is an extensive tool developed by the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) Office of Grants. The TAGGS database is a central repository for grants awarded by the twelve {{12, count’em, 12}} HHS Operating Divisions (OPDIVs). TAGGS tracks obligated grant funds at the transaction level.
NOTE: To actually find out what those transactions were used for will take a little more legwork, locally.
What’s New
Several new search pages have been added and grouped under the new Search menu.
TAGGS FY 2008 Annual Report – The TAGGS FY 2008 Annual Report is now available on the Annual Reports Page. The annual report contains summary information about the HHS Grants Programs tracked by TAGGS. The annual report is available in Microsoft Word format. TAGGS Advanced Search – The new TAGGS Advanced Search enables a very refined search through more than 500,000 grant awards. Criteria include keyword, award title, recipient name, agency, type, title, recipient name, and many other selections in a variety of combinations. Search results can be output and downloaded in Microsoft Excel format. Abstracts Search by Keyword and Advanced Search – The two new Award Abstract Searches provide a search through more than 85,000 Grant Award Abstracts by keyword or by using the Advanced Search. The TAGGS Abstracts Search by Keyword search performs a full-text search of each available abstract based on the entered keywork. The TAGGS Abstracts Advanced Search enables search criteria such as keyword, agency, type, year, and state to be used in many combinations.
A search of all states resulted in nearly 1,500 results, which I doubt wordpress could handle the pageload.
I find the pattern below (try this link for a better view — OR, select the CFDA #s 93597 & 93086 ONLY, for California, and with the column titles you see below (scroll to bottom of the Advanced Search page to select) and it should come out the same).
Before you actually LOOK at this, consider yet another Fatherhood “whine,” dating to (originally) 06/30/2007 — after Father’s Day THAT year…):
“Yet most child custody arrangements provide fathers only a few days a month to spend with their children, and fighting for shared parenting is expensive and difficult. Custodial mothers frequently fail to honor visitation orders, and while the United States spends nearly $5 billion a year enforcing child support, there is no system in place to help enforce visitation orders. {{False}} In such cases, fathers must scrape together money for an attorney so they can go to court , and even then courts enforce visitation orders indifferently.
According to the Children’s Rights Council, a Washington, DC-based advocacy group, more than five million American children each year have their access to their noncustodial parents {{male, or female?}} interfered with or blocked by custodial parents.”
WHERE ARE THE LINKS TO THOSE ALLEGATIONS?
This is from:
|
|
| ACFC Washington Office 1718 M St. NW. #187 Washington, DC 20036 Telephone: 800-978-3237 |
@@@
Results 1 to 81 of 81 matches.
@@@
| Fiscal Year | Program Office | Grantee Name | City | County | Award Number | Award Title | CFDA Program Name | Award Activity Type | Award Action Type | Principal Investigator | Sum of Actions |
| 2009 | OCSE | CA ST JUDICIAL COUNCIL | SAN FRANCISCO | SAN FRANCISCO | 0910CASAVP | FY 2009 STATE ACCESS & VISITATION | Grants to States for Access and Visitation Programs | SOCIAL SERVICES | NEW | $ 942,497 | |
| 2009 | OFA | Council of Orange County Society of St. Vincent De Paul | ORANGE | ORANGE | 90FR0003 | THE ST. VINCENT DE PAUL ENHANCEMENT PROGRAM IS A RESPONBLE FATHERHOOD PROGRAM PROMOTING HEALTHLY, MARRIAGE, PARENTING AN | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | OTHER REVISION | EDWARD C HARTMANN | $- 148,172 |
| 2008 | ACF | BILL WILSON CENTER | SANTA CLARA | SANTA CLARA | 90FR0096 | RESPONSIBLE FATHERWOOD WORKS- PRIORITY AREA 3 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | SPARKY HARLAN | $ 243,469 |
| 2008 | ACF | Brighter Beginnings | OAKLAND | ALAMEDA | 90FR0099 | PROMOTING ADVANCES IN PATERNAL ACCOUNTABILITY AND SUCCESS (PAPAS) PROGRAM | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | BARBARA BUNN | $ 250,000 |
| 2008 | ACF | CAMBODIAN ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA, INC | LONG BEACH | LOS ANGELES | 90FE0065 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 8 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | KIMTHAI R KUOCH | $ 450,000 |
| 2008 | ACF | CATHOLIC CHARITIES OF ORANGE COUNTY, INC | SANTA ANA | ORANGE | 90FE0080 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 7 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | REGINA LINDNER | $ 550,000 |
| 2008 | ACF | CENTERFORCE | SAN RAFAEL | MARIN | 90FR0004 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE AND RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD PROJECT | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | CHARLES GREENE | $ 481,554 |
| 2008 | ACF | CHILDREN`S INSTITUTE , INC | LOS ANGELES | LOS ANGELES | 90FR0076 | PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | HERSHEL K SWINGER | $ 500,000 |
| 2008 | ACF | CHILDREN`S INSTITUTE , INC | LOS ANGELES | LOS ANGELES | 90FR0088 | PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD, COMMUNITY ACCESS PROGRAM | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | HERSHEL SWINGER | $ 1,000,000 |
| 2008 | ACF | CHW DBA CALIFORNIA HOSPITAL MEDICAL CENTER | LOS ANGELES | SHASTA | 90FR0071 | PROMOTING REOPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | VICKIE KROPENSKE | $ 250,000 |
| 2008 | ACF | California Healthy Marriages Coalition | LEUCADIA | SAN DIEGO | 90FE0104 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 1 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | DENNIS J STOICA | $ 2,400,000 |
| 2008 | ACF | Comprehensive Youth Services of Fresno, Inc. | FRESNO | FRESNO | 90FR0053 | POMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | LISA M BROTT | $ 250,000 |
| 2008 | ACF | EAST LOS ANGELES COMMUNITY UNION | LOS ANGELES | LOS ANGELES | 90FE0056 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION GRANT PRIORITY AREA 2 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | JOSE VILLALOBOS | $ 1,100,000 |
| 2008 | ACF | HOOPA VALLEY BUSINESS COUNCIL, EDUCATION DEPARTMENT | HOOPA | HUMBOLDT | 90FN0001 | INSTITUTE WRAP-AROUND SOC WITH INTERAGENCY COLLABORATION TO DEVELOP STRATEGIC PLANS, EARLY INTERVENTION, PRESERVATION EM | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | LESLIE M COLEGROVE | $ 146,750 |
| 2008 | ACF | Imperial Valley Regional Occupational Program | EL CENTRO | IMPERIAL | 90FE0075 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 7 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | MARY CAMACHO | $ 515,615 |
| 2008 | ACF | Metro United Methodist Urban Ministry | SAN DIEGO | SAN DIEGO | 90FR0016 | SAN DIEGO’S RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD INITIATIVE | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | JOHN R HUGHES | $ 268,349 |
| 2008 | ACF | PERSONAL INVOLVEMENT CENTER | LOS ANGELES | LOS ANGELES | 90FE0092 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 3 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | TANYA MCDONALD | $ 550,000 |
| 2008 | ACF | PITTSBURG PRESCHOOL COORDINATION COUNCIL, INC. | PITTSBURG | CONTRA COSTA | 90FE0012 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 7 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | FRANCES GREENE | $ 550,000 |
| 2008 | ACF | Relationship Research Foundation, Inc. | IRVINE | ORANGE | 90FR0058 | PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | M.P. P WYLIE | $ 250,000 |
| 2008 | ACF | Sacramento Healthy Marriage Project | SACRAMENTO | SACRAMENTO | 90FE0015 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 7 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | CAROLYN R CURTIS | $ 549,256 |
| 2008 | ACF | THE DIBBLE FUND FOR MARRIAGE EDUCATION | Berkeley | 90FE0024 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 8 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | CATHERINE M REED | $ 550,000 | |
| 2008 | ACF | VISTA COMMUNITY CLINIC | VISTA | SAN DIEGO | 90FR0024 | VCC CLUB DE PADRES | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | BARBARA MANNINO | $ 250,000 |
| 2008 | OCSE | CA ST JUDICIAL COUNCIL | SAN FRANCISCO | SAN FRANCISCO | 0810CASAVP | 2008 SAVP | Grants to States for Access and Visitation Programs | SOCIAL SERVICES | NEW | $ 957,600 | |
| 2007 | ACF | BILL WILSON CENTER | SANTA CLARA | SANTA CLARA | 90FR0096 | RESPONSIBLE FATHERWOOD WORKS- PRIORITY AREA 3 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | SPARKY HARLAN | $ 243,469 |
| 2007 | ACF | Brighter Beginnings | OAKLAND | ALAMEDA | 90FR0099 | PROMOTING ADVANCES IN PATERNAL ACCOUNTABILITY AND SUCCESS (PAPAS) PROGRAM | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | BARBARA BUNN | $ 250,000 |
| 2007 | ACF | CAMBODIAN ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA, INC | LONG BEACH | LOS ANGELES | 90FE0065 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 8 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | KIMTHAI R KUOCH | $ 450,000 |
| 2007 | ACF | CATHOLIC CHARITIES OF ORANGE COUNTY, INC | SANTA ANA | ORANGE | 90FE0080 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 7 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | REGINA LINDNER | $ 378,020 |
| 2007 | ACF | CENTERFORCE | SAN RAFAEL | MARIN | 90FR0004 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE AND RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD PROJECT | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | BARRY ZACK | $ 474,555 |
| 2007 | ACF | CHILDREN`S INSTITUTE , INC | LOS ANGELES | LOS ANGELES | 90FR0076 | PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | HERSHEL K SWINGER | $ 500,000 |
| 2007 | ACF | CHILDREN`S INSTITUTE , INC | LOS ANGELES | LOS ANGELES | 90FR0088 | PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD, COMMUNITY ACCESS PROGRAM | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | HERSHEL SWINGER | $ 1,000,000 |
| 2007 | ACF | CHW DBA CALIFORNIA HOSPITAL MEDICAL CENTER | LOS ANGELES | SHASTA | 90FR0071 | PROMOTING REOPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | RICHARD N HUME | $ 174,034 |
| 2007 | ACF | California Healthy Marriages Coalition | LEUCADIA | SAN DIEGO | 90FE0104 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 1 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | DENNIS J STOICA | $ 2,400,000 |
| 2007 | ACF | Center for Children of Incarcerated Parents | EAGLE ROCK | LOS ANGELES | 90FE0085 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 7 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | DR DENISE JOHNSTON | $ 384,951 |
| 2007 | ACF | Comprehensive Youth Services of Fresno, Inc. | FRESNO | FRESNO | 90FR0053 | POMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | LISA M BROTT | $ 250,000 |
| 2007 | ACF | EAST LOS ANGELES COMMUNITY UNION | LOS ANGELES | LOS ANGELES | 90FE0056 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION GRANT PRIORITY AREA 2 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | JOSE VILLALOBOS | $ 1,100,000 |
| 2007 | ACF | HOOPA VALLEY BUSINESS COUNCIL, EDUCATION DEPARTMENT | HOOPA | HUMBOLDT | 90FN0001 | INSTITUTE WRAP-AROUND SOC WITH INTERAGENCY COLLABORATION TO DEVELOP STRATEGIC PLANS, EARLY INTERVENTION, PRESERVATION EM | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | LESLIE M COLEGROVE | $ 146,750 |
| 2007 | ACF | Imperial Valley Regional Occupational Program | EL CENTRO | IMPERIAL | 90FE0075 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 7 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | MARY CAMACHO | $ 399,253 |
| 2007 | ACF | Metro United Methodist Urban Ministry | SAN DIEGO | SAN DIEGO | 90FR0016 | SAN DIEGO’S RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD INITIATIVE | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | JOHN R HUGHES | $ 268,349 |
| 2007 | ACF | PERSONAL INVOLVEMENT CENTER | LOS ANGELES | LOS ANGELES | 90FE0092 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 3 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | TANYA MCDONALD | $ 550,000 |
| 2007 | ACF | PITTSBURG PRESCHOOL COORDINATION COUNCIL, INC. | PITTSBURG | CONTRA COSTA | 90FE0012 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 7 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | FRANCES GREENE | $ 550,000 |
| 2007 | ACF | Relationship Research Foundation, Inc. | IRVINE | ORANGE | 90FR0058 | PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | M.P. P WYLIE | $ 250,000 |
| 2007 | ACF | Sacramento Healthy Marriage Project | SACRAMENTO | SACRAMENTO | 90FE0015 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 7 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | CAROLYN R CURTIS | $ 549,256 |
| 2007 | ACF | THE DIBBLE FUND FOR MARRIAGE EDUCATION | Berkeley | 90FE0024 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 8 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | CATHERINE M REED | $ 550,000 | |
| 2007 | ACF | VISTA COMMUNITY CLINIC | VISTA | SAN DIEGO | 90FR0024 | VCC CLUB DE PADRES | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | BARBARA MANNINO | $ 250,000 |
| 2007 | OCSE | CA ST JUDICIAL COUNCIL | SAN FRANCISCO | SAN FRANCISCO | 0710CASAVP | 2007 SAVP | Grants to States for Access and Visitation Programs | SOCIAL SERVICES | NEW | $ 950,190 | |
| 2006 | OCSE | CA ST JUDICIAL COUNCIL | SAN FRANCISCO | SAN FRANCISCO | 0610CASAVP | 2006 SAVP | Grants to States for Access and Visitation Programs | SOCIAL SERVICES | NEW | $ 987,973 | |
| 2006 | OFA | BILL WILSON CENTER | SANTA CLARA | SANTA CLARA | 90FR0096 | RESPONSIBLE FATHERWOOD WORKS- PRIORITY AREA 3 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | SPARKY HARLAN | $ 207,469 |
| 2006 | OFA | Brighter Beginnings | OAKLAND | ALAMEDA | 90FR0099 | PROMOTING ADVANCES IN PATERNAL ACCOUNTABILITY AND SUCCESS (PAPAS) PROGRAM | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | BARBARA BUNN | $ 250,000 |
| 2006 | OFA | CAMBODIAN ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA, INC | LONG BEACH | LOS ANGELES | 90FE0065 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 8 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | KIMTHAI R KUOCH | $ 450,000 |
| 2006 | OFA | CATHOLIC CHARITIES OF ORANGE COUNTY, INC | SANTA ANA | ORANGE | 90FE0080 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 7 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | REGINA LINDNER | $ 550,000 |
| 2006 | OFA | CENTERFORCE | SAN RAFAEL | MARIN | 90FR0004 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE AND RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD PROJECT | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | BARRY ZACK | $ 481,555 |
| 2006 | OFA | CHILDREN`S INSTITUTE , INC | LOS ANGELES | LOS ANGELES | 90FR0076 | PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | HERSHEL K SWINGER | $ 500,000 |
| 2006 | OFA | CHILDREN`S INSTITUTE , INC | LOS ANGELES | LOS ANGELES | 90FR0088 | PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD, COMMUNITY ACCESS PROGRAM | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | HERSHEL SWINGER | $ 1,000,000 |
| 2006 | OFA | CHW DBA CALIFORNIA HOSPITAL MEDICAL CENTER | LOS ANGELES | SHASTA | 90FR0071 | PROMOTING REOPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | RICHARD N HUME | $ 249,034 |
| 2006 | OFA | California Healthy Marriages Coalition | LEUCADIA | SAN DIEGO | 90FE0104 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 1 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | DENNIS J STOICA | $ 2,342,080 |
| 2006 | OFA | Center for Children of Incarcerated Parents | EAGLE ROCK | LOS ANGELES | 90FE0085 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 7 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | DR DENISE JOHNSTON | $ 461,186 |
| 2006 | OFA | Comprehensive Youth Services of Fresno, Inc. | FRESNO | FRESNO | 90FR0053 | POMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | LISA M BROTT | $ 250,000 |
| 2006 | OFA | Council of Orange County Society of St. Vincent De Paul | ORANGE | ORANGE | 90FR0003 | THE ST. VINCENT DE PAUL ENHANCEMENT PROGRAM IS A RESPONBLE FATHERHOOD PROGRAM PROMOTING HEALTHLY, MARRIAGE, PARENTING AN | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | EDWARD C HARTMANN | $ 388,193 |
| 2006 | OFA | EAST LOS ANGELES COMMUNITY UNION | LOS ANGELES | LOS ANGELES | 90FE0056 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION GRANT PRIORITY AREA 2 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | JOSE VILLALOBOS | $ 1,100,000 |
| 2006 | OFA | HOOPA VALLEY BUSINESS COUNCIL, EDUCATION DEPARTMENT | HOOPA | HUMBOLDT | 90FN0001 | INSTITUTE WRAP-AROUND SOC WITH INTERAGENCY COLLABORATION TO DEVELOP STRATEGIC PL | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | NORMA MCADAMS | $ 146,750 |
| 2006 | OFA | Imperial Valley Regional Occupational Program | EL CENTRO | IMPERIAL | 90FE0075 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 7 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | MARY CAMACHO | $ 479,031 |
| 2006 | OFA | Metro United Methodist Urban Ministry | SAN DIEGO | SAN DIEGO | 90FR0016 | SAN DIEGO’S RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD INITIATIVE | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | JOHN R HUGHES | $ 268,449 |
| 2006 | OFA | PERSONAL INVOLVEMENT CENTER | LOS ANGELES | LOS ANGELES | 90FE0092 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 3 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | BENJAMIN HARDWICK | $ 550,000 |
| 2006 | OFA | PITTSBURG PRESCHOOL COORDINATION COUNCIL, INC. | PITTSBURG | CONTRA COSTA | 90FE0012 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 7 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | FRANCES GREENE | $ 527,664 |
| 2006 | OFA | Relationship Research Foundation, Inc. | IRVINE | ORANGE | 90FR0058 | PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | M>P> WYLIE | $ 250,000 |
| 2006 | OFA | Sacramento Healthy Marriage Project | SACRAMENTO | SACRAMENTO | 90FE0015 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 7 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | CAROLYN R CURTIS | $ 549,256 |
| 2006 | OFA | THE DIBBLE FUND FOR MARRIAGE EDUCATION | Berkeley | 90FE0024 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 8 | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | CATHERINE M REED | $ 549,999 | |
| 2006 | OFA | VISTA COMMUNITY CLINIC | VISTA | SAN DIEGO | 90FR0024 | VCC CLUB DE PADRES | Healthy marriage Promotion and Responsible Fatherhood Grants | DEMONSTRATION | NEW | BARBARA MANNINO | $ 250,000 |
| 2005 | OCSE | CA ST JUDICIAL COUNCIL | SAN FRANCISCO | SAN FRANCISCO | 0510CASAVP | 2005 SAVP | Grants to States for Access and Visitation Programs | SOCIAL SERVICES | NEW | $ 988,710 | |
| 2004 | OCSE | CA ST JUDICIAL COUNCIL | SAN FRANCISCO | SAN FRANCISCO | 0410CASAVP | 2004 SAVP | Grants to States for Access and Visitation Programs | SOCIAL SERVICES | NEW | $ 988,710 | |
| 2003 | OCSE | CA ST DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL SERVICES | SACRAMENTO | SACRAMENTO | 9801CASAVP | Grants to States for Access and Visitation Programs | SOCIAL SERVICES | UNKNOWN | $- 250,805 | ||
| 2003 | OCSE | CA ST DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL SERVICES | SACRAMENTO | SACRAMENTO | 9901CASAVP | Grants to States for Access and Visitation Programs | SOCIAL SERVICES | UNKNOWN | $- 139,812 | ||
| 2003 | OCSE | CA ST JUDICIAL COUNCIL | SAN FRANCISCO | SAN FRANCISCO | 0310CASAVP | Grants to States for Access and Visitation Programs | SOCIAL SERVICES | UNKNOWN | $ 970,431 | ||
| 2002 | OCSE | CA ST JUDICIAL COUNCIL | SAN FRANCISCO | SAN FRANCISCO | 0210CASAVP | Grants to States for Access and Visitation Programs | SOCIAL SERVICES | UNKNOWN | $ 970,431 | ||
| 2001 | OCSE | CA ST DEPT OF CHILD SUPPORT SERVICES | RANCHO CORDOVA | SACRAMENTO | 0001CASAVP | SAVP 2000 | Grants to States for Access and Visitation Programs | SOCIAL SERVICES | UNKNOWN | $- 987,501 | |
| 2001 | OCSE | CA ST JUDICIAL COUNCIL | SAN FRANCISCO | SAN FRANCISCO | 0010CASAVP | SAVP 2000 | Grants to States for Access and Visitation Programs | SOCIAL SERVICES | UNKNOWN | $ 987,501 | |
| 2001 | OCSE | CA ST JUDICIAL COUNCIL | SAN FRANCISCO | SAN FRANCISCO | 0110CASAVP | SAVP 2001 | Grants to States for Access and Visitation Programs | SOCIAL SERVICES | UNKNOWN | $ 987,501 | |
| 2000 | OCSE | CA ST DEPT OF CHILD SUPPORT SERVICES | RANCHO CORDOVA | SACRAMENTO | 0001CASAVP | SAVP 2000 | Grants to States for Access and Visitation Programs | SOCIAL SERVICES | UNKNOWN | $ 987,501 | |
| 1999 | OCSE | CA ST DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL SERVICES | SACRAMENTO | SACRAMENTO | 9901CASAVP | Grants to States for Access and Visitation Programs | SOCIAL SERVICES | UNKNOWN | $ 987,501 | ||
| 1998 | OCSE | CA ST DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL SERVICES | SACRAMENTO | SACRAMENTO | 9701CASAVP | SAVP 1997 | Grants to States for Access and Visitation Programs | SOCIAL SERVICES | UNKNOWN | $ 1,113,750 | |
| 1998 | OCSE | CA ST DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL SERVICES | SACRAMENTO | SACRAMENTO | 9801CASAVP | Grants to States for Access and Visitation Programs | SOCIAL SERVICES | UNKNOWN | $ 1,113,750 |
Does the word “Demonstration” raise an eyebrow for you? Are you curious what a “Demonstration Priority Area” is, and whether your residing (if so) in one either aided or compromised due process in your particular family law case (if such be), or exercise of your civic duty of fatherhood (if such be).
I wonder why a subset (Program Office OCSE) of a subset (OPDIV “ACF” — and ALL of these grants were ACF grants) of a subset (HHS) of the Executive Branch of the United States Government (Legislative, Executive, Judicial)– which the “OCSE” (Office of Child Support Enforcement) indeed IS — it IS in the Executive Branch of the US Government — is doing distributin cl
I wonder whether this information is posted at courthouses, or child support offices, like an “under Construction” would be at other sites? I didn’t realize til, well, recently, that the last X years I spent in the family law system were part of someone else’s Demonstration Grant. This is what we get for minding our own business, and failing to secure enough excess time in our daily schedules to ALSO mind the business of our elected representative governments, both Federal and State.
We farmed out government to the government have ended up (our children, basically, and incomes) becoming someone else’s family farm.
Suggestion:
If fewer categories (column titles) are chosen, a search will produce interactive recipient names, or grant #s, and this will tell more about
the individual activities. And gets pretty interesting . . . . .
. . . Dang it, I just slipped into bureaucratic passive and Impassive; the language is like a pheronome, or like stale air, if you hang around it too long, you begin exhaling in the same manner: categories are chosen (I didn’t act), searches (not my choices) produced, just like a domestic dispute “arose” between two individuals, during a, er, ACF-facilitated “ACCESS” exchange between parents.
I find it interesting that the “OCSE” is administering these grants designed to help noncustodial parents get more time with their children.
OCSE is the “Office of Child Support Enforcement.” I thought it wasn’t about the money, but about the best interests of the children, who need both parents in constant contact with them. For example, nonpayment of child support is NOT a basis for withholding visitation of a child from the noncustodial parent. Women are certainly told that loud and clear when pursuing child support arrears.
Unfortunately, some parents can’t be trusted alone with their children. For example, some kids get killed or stolen on overnight visitations which are not supervised. On the other hands, some unsupervised parents (mostly Moms) also supposedly cause severe emotional distress to their children by actually following through when child abuse or other violence is reported, causing more “high conflict’ between the parties. Which is “bad.” “Bad” protective parent: Here, let us order some parenting classes for you….A common, but costly solution appears to be switching the custody to the other parent, and forcing the reporting parent to pay to see her offspring.
But one way to withhold visitation from a designated parent is if she (most likely) cannot afford to pay to see her own children in a supervised visitation situation that arose AFTER something else (such as child abuse, or other domestic violence-related issues) has been reported or investigated. I know mothers who cannot afford to see their children, after a custody switch. It does not seem to work both directions AFTER a custody switch (possibly enabled by some of these grants’ services). Where’s the “healthy families” in that scenario?
If these whole movements (Healthy Marriage, or Responsible Fatherhood & Access Visitation, meaning, it supposedly takes a Village to raise a Child and BOTH Parents (especially Dads) to also do this, which the taxpayers should then fund) are about the CHILDREN and our SOCIETY, then somehow it seems a little odd that the agency entrusted to do this is the CHILD SUPPORT branch, not another one.
The fact, and that history of the matter is that it went kind of like this, as to finances:
1. OOPS! Welfare roles are too high! (Personal Work and Responsibility welfare reform)
2. Let’s go Collect Child Support — get those paternity tests and those deadbeat Dads.
3. OOPS! A lot of them are in jail, and others just don’t want to pay, they’ve moved on in life? What can be done?
4. Enter “Access Visitation” grants, in hope that more time with kids will result in more child support collected. It’s all for the kids, after all. If they get more time with the children, we will (artificially) “flex” the amount of child support actually due.
4B. And the multiple assorted professionals all along the way, all of who are also of course in it for the kids and not the money.
5. Who picks up the tab, in the long run, and what is it? When custody switches are involved, then a parent who historically had been struggling or learning to manage a life (including a work life) around the children will then restructure the life differently, while the parent who just GOT the child will either restructure his (or her) work, or delegate the care of the child to someone else.
6. Did I mention Head Start yet?
By the way, a lot of the funding below is what i call “Designer Families,” i.e., the US Government is actually studying US families (at the expense of the same families) to determine what they DO look like, to run some tests (see “DEMONSTRATION PROJECTS” below) and then report back (not to the consumer — to the experts, of course) on what the tests showed, and then expand the scope of the practice. This, FYI, is business (perhaps not YOUR employer, but government) business as usual. Something you don’t learn in grade school, or often in high school, unless your parent was a Senator or a Sociologist.
Well, two can play that game. Who wants to come out and play?
Want some answers?
Want to have some fun analyzing the analysts?
Let’s do it.
At least it would make some more interesting dinner conversation (assuming you still have dinner), or at a commuter bus stop (assuming you still have a job) than the latest office politics, or doom and gloom. You can say, “Did you know that I now spend one-quarter (one-tenth, etc. — adjust according to your payscale) of my work day, which keeps me away from spending quality time with my kids, earning money for the government to spend getting other people who won’t or can’t pay child support to spend more time with their kids, in hopes that they will? Or to keep them married when otherwise they’d divorce? Or just leave?”
Or you could say, “Where do you think the HIGHEST grant for reducing abuse, poverty, drug use, and other social ills (i.e., promoting healthy marriages) went to in our state?
They’ll probably name Los Angeles, San Francisco, Oakland, Richmond, Sacramento (or other urban area known for its homicide rates, or radical agenda).
And then you can surprise them with your inside knowledge:
No: “Leucadia.”
“Leucadia? You’re kidding!”
“No, I’m not. California Healthy Marriage Coalition, out of Leucadia, California got $2,400,000 last year alone to, er, well — well, they’re not in favor of same-sex marriages, let’s put it that way. I don’t know where they stand on domestic violence, but they say — well, another group run by the same person says — he needs unconditional respect, and she needs unconditional love. And those dang feminists, you know, are putting CONDITIONS on how he expresses his love, or whether they continue respecting him, in the form of these anti-violence allegations, and so forth….”
“In 2006, The California Healthy Marriages Coalition (CHMC) received a five-year, $11.9 Million grant from Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families (HHS/ACF), the largest grant ever awarded by HHS/ACF in support of Healthy Marriages.
{{{FYI: “Through this funding, CHMC partners with a network of 23 faith- and community-based organizations (FBCOs) throughout California. Each of CHMC’s funded partner organizations is a coalition consisting of many other FBCOs through which they deliver Marriage Education and Relationship Skills classes, enabling CHMC to reach California’s diverse population by traversing the key demographic dimensions of geography, ethnic/cultural differences, and agency-type FBCOs. “}}
“As a result of these efforts, CHMC expects to see a decline in the divorce/marriage ratio, a reduction in child abuse, domestic violence, poverty, criminal behavior, and an improvement in physical, emotional, and mental health.”
HEY! IF I SAY I EXPECT TO SEE SOMETHING, CAN I GET A FEDERAL GRANT, TOO?
I WILL MAKE UP A NICE NAME, AND USE BIG WORDS, STARTING SMALL WITH A DEMONSTRATION PROGRAM, AND THEN EXPANDING NATIONWIDE. SEE BELOW FOR A TYPICAL PATTERN. . .
Now I’m curious. Let’s see where they are on the $11.9 million…. In 2006 I was definitely on the wrong side of the politically correct agenda, obviously, in that I was trying to get UNMarried, complete a safe separation begun years earlier…. and retain housing . . . . (Searched on “Principal Investigator,” pulled up an unrelated “Stoica”). Well, maybe not a relative…) (the name “Stoica” I picked out arbitrarily — well, actually because of the size of the grant — from the larger chart below).
| Fiscal Year | Program Office | Grantee Name | City | Grantee Type | Award Number | Award Title | CFDA Number | Award Action Type | Principal Investigator | Sum of Actions |
| 2008 | ACF | California Healthy Marriages Coalition | LEUCADIA | Other Social Services Organization | 90FE0104 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 1 | 93086 | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | DENNIS J STOICA | $ 2,400,000 |
| 2007 | ACF | California Healthy Marriages Coalition | LEUCADIA | Other Social Services Organization | 90FE0104 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 1 | 93086 | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | DENNIS J STOICA | $ 2,400,000 |
| 2007 | NCI | GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY | WASHINGTON | Junior College, College & University | R03CA117467 | AKT1 AND ERBB2 – NEW MOLECULAR TARGETS FOR HORMONE RESISTANCE IN BREAST CANCER | 93394 | NON-COMPETING CONTINUATION | ADRIANA STOICA | $ 75,350 |
| 2006 | NCI | GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY | WASHINGTON | Junior College, College & University | R03CA117467 | AKT1 AND ERBB2 – NEW MOLECULAR TARGETS FOR HORMONE RESISTANCE IN BREAST CANCER | 93394 | NEW | ADRIANA STOICA | $ 77,600 |
| 2006 | OFA | California Healthy Marriages Coalition | LEUCADIA | Other Social Services Organization | 90FE0104 | HEALTHY MARRIAGE DEMONSTRATION, PRIORITY AREA 1 | 93086 | NEW | DENNIS J STOICA | $ 2,342,080 |
| 2005 | OCS | California Healthy Marriages Coalition | LEUCADIA | Other Social Services Organization | 90EJ0064 | COMPASSION CAPITAL FUND DEMONSTRATION PROGRAM | 93009 | NEW | DENNIS STOICA | $ 583,475 |
| 2005 | OCS | Orange County Marriage Education and Training Institute | ANAHEIM | Other Special Interest Organization | 90IJ0201 | COMPASSION CAPITAL FUND (CCF) TARGETED CAPACITY BUILDING PROGRAM – HEALTHY MARRI | 93009 | NEW | DENNIS STOICA | $ 50,000 |
| 2004 | OCS | Orange County Marriage Resource Center | ANAHEIM | Other Social Services Organization | 90IJ0121 | CCF TARGETED CAPACITY BUILDING – MARRIAGE | 93647 | NEW | DENNIS STOICA | $ 50,000 |
The next RESPONSIBLE CITIZEN behavior then might be to ask, for example, what a particular grant recipient is doing with some of the funds, either on line, or hey, give them a call! Say, “Hey! $50,000 is more than I make per year, and a good part of this is being garnished to pay child support already. Can you tell me what your group did last year with YOUR $50,000 — and who’s on the payroll? I’d like to see a line item listing, or a few cancelled checks perhaps. I mean, I work hard (yes, I’m sure you do), and I’d just like to know where my taxes are going. Thanks! Send the printout to _________________).” (And then install a security camera….)
Note: In the example above (where I picked one of the larger grants in the big chart, and searched on Principal Investigator)
In the next post (or so), I will, possibly, show how well all this Healing Families and getting Dads responsible has reduced Violence Against women SO much (in the same time period) that we really don’t need (?) VAWA to keep funding shelters, and other things to help them stay alive, or in one piece. The momentum of the emerging (still???) Fatherhood movement and Responsibility Movement and Shared Parenting Movement, has really worked, and we now have significantly less separation violence, fewer family wipeouts, and children in the care of the other parent, with help in care of possibly a new girlfriend, or boyfriend, are faring better. Like the 7 year old boy who was just taken off life support in Massachusetts, after his Dad came back into his life, possibly under one of these programs (although I didn’t investigate further on that one, I admit), after only 8 weeks summertime fun with his father.
In the matter of Designer Families by Federal Fiat, I think we do need to take a closer look. How’s your state doing?
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Ireland’s CPS Woes — Convicted Sex Offender Training Young People for Child Protection Workers??
Warning: My post today starts in Ireland, but ends up back in the USA.
This is a little more complicated than “Who’s Policing the Police?”
Who’s Watching the People Training the Trainers to Watch the People?
This was prompted by an article that came to my attention called
Moral of This Grim Tale is Lesson in Passing Buck
As best as I can decipher the T&C of the Copyright here, I must only point to the home page, not the actual page of the article in question. So if you want the whole thing, I have given you title of article, and home page of “http://www.independent.ie“
This appears to be a universal, and world-wide problem. The more the agencies, the less the accountability, and SOME agencies attract inappropriate sorts. Unfortunately some agencies and institutions (including schools of many sorts, not just one “sort”) attract unscrupulous sorts because that’s a clear and steady place CHILDREN are found.
It seems to me that the wholesale dismantling of the family unit, in the name of protecting and educating children, needs to be addressed. The mass failures need to be addressed. I do not believe it is possible to stop every crime from happening. But if I DID want crime stopped, based on my personal, and extensive experience, I would rather (next time) see what I can personally do, when it hits me in the face (pun intentional) than, as we WOMEN are taught to do, call out for someone to intervene and help. Yeah, right.
The report into how Niall McElwee, a well-known child protection expert, was able to remain in his post at Athlone Institute of Technology for two years after having been convicted of indecent assault of two young women makes for grim reading.
Yet, in the first of a series of shameful lacks of adherence to child protection procedures, no restrictions were put on the lecturer’s behaviour.
Yet a convicted sex offender was still appearing regularly in the media and at conferences and academic gatherings the world over.
It is clear no referral system exists between our two largest social care authorities. McElwee will probably argue that, as far as he was concerned, if the gardai and the HSE knew of his conduct, and both saw fit to continue working with him, then he was surely in the clear. Yet common sense dictates that a call should also have been made to his employers in the Athlone Institute of Technology, where he was charged with training young people to become child protection workers. Having a sex offender in that important role seems ironic, to say the very least.
(The original has hyperlinks in the text, and related articles to the side.)
I noticed visitors from other countries (no comments so far, eh?), including Belgium, Bucharest, Egypt, Saudia Arabia, Canada, Australia, Trinidad, and a few places I had to look up on the map. This site gets some views. Well, welcome Ireland, I guess you have similar issues here.
Kind of reminds me of the sketch of the Max Escher hands I was familiar with, growing up. Metaphorically, this is basically what I think America at least is turning into. It has become a nation of pronouncers and declarers (all in the best interests of the kids, and to protect them).
It is absolutely essential that we ALL begin studying the ‘studiers’ and researching the researchers. Unless we LIKE dropping off our tax dollars in order to hire people to execute policies promoted, many times, by a wealthy foundation driving institutions, initiatives and Congress on a vision of the wealthy about what to do with the poor, mostly, how to manage them. (And keep them poor).
I personally want answers for the language degradation that has drenched the brains of people wishing to tell me how to: leave abuse, raise children, what lifestyle to work, what personal priorities to espouse, what is and is not “OK” when I can read laws that already exist and say this. There is practically not one word which can be taken at face value, yet we are supposed to do this. I don’t. As I said, no wonder “mental health professionals” abound in certain circles — and once established a profession has to continue. Where to find more clients? Produce them
I didn’t know that Ireland, also, had similar issues. Perhaps if worldwide, we people who are being studied and protected (or our kids are) by these institutions in such a manner that, as adults, they see fit to address what happened to them in class action lawsuits, we might communicate about alternative theories than Farming Out Our Thinking, Letting Our Own Self-Suffiency Exit [Stage Right]
That acronym is “FOOTLOOSE” and was just made up. It makes about as much sense as “Health and Human Services” (HHS, the major U.S. Federal grant-making agency) in charge of doing so. Maybe I should delete an “O” in the 2nd syllable, because somewhere, footing (“grasp on reality”) has indeed been Lost.
Remember that old science fiction film (with alien invaders, only recognizable if you had special glasses), called
“SERVING HUMANITY” ?
This was accurate. Not til the end of the movie does it become clear that this refers to a menu, and people were the food. Yes, they were “serving humanity,” for sure.
WHEN STUDIED< STUDY BACK. WHEN REPORTED ON, REPORT BACK! WHEN PROPHESIED OVER (in essence, that’s what a lot of these studies are in concept — simple proclamations. (Well, not quite as simple or well-written, as the Declaration of Independence, true).
I declare this based on my recent (internet-based) scrutiny of programs that have been scrutinizing the huddled masses, and sorting them by color, shape, income category, marital status, and of course, gender. In our school system we also sort them, (within schools already sorted by several of the above statistics) by how well they perform according to their peers, and the wider public, all of which is then reported and discussed on high, and then sometimes, even personally presented by a representative from someone on high.
I declarae that this appears to have been the source of some of the puzzlement and confusion in the family law systems, where we expect “laws” already in place to protect “families” to be fairly enforced, and not (beyond our reach, and without information to us) that policy-makers entering into prisons, child support offices, and in conventions on parenting education and fatherhood, conduct random samplings and then nationwide infrastructures to tie TIME with Kids to MONEY for KIDS, and shift wealth around accordingly. I do not approve of “outcome based” education. As a mother and educator, I know that if the engagement, the joy of learning and the understanding that learning is a necessary and enjoyable skill (in fact, way of life) is the principle, then the stick -and-carrot approach is not the MAIN approach. I have a higher opinion of children than that.
Nor, do I wish to enter into a courtroom and find out years later that agencies working in the background — but driven by governmental POLICIES — have determined (Big-Brother, In Loco Parentis, “JUST-us” theories — to, for its own ends, use a “carrot and stick” approach with noncustodial fathers (including incarcerated ones and middle and higher class ones as well), particularly to fathers /spouses who have used the same approach on the wives, particularly when it comes to the stick (hands, implement, weapons, etc.) That philosophy is going to infantilize a nation, PERMANENTLY.
Recently, in California, a six foot tall Dept. of Education Head (Federal), Arne Duncan, was seen towering over some youngsters (this is called “PR”) and then proclaiming on TV that California Schools have “lost their way,” and no, they will not be considered individually, but will sink or swim together. This is called, “No Child Left Behind,” and Big Brother stepping in to scold and fix what (er, Big Brother designed and forced on the general public to start with).
My gut response to having a 40+ male appointee (and I”m 50+) hailing from a city I used to live and work (in the schools) in, Chicago, come to California and lecture us about having lost our way — was, “ON WHAT BASIS HAS AN ENTIRE STATE BECOME YOUR AUDIENCE, TO BE SCOLDED LIKE A BAD CHILD?” And within this state are thousands of parents whose children are not even in the public school system. What hypocrisy.!
Meanwhile, in one Northern California school, a (female, naturally) middle school (think “puberty” and you have the general age range if you’re not from this country)music teacher was surrounded by a group of children and stoned. Not to death, but rocks werre thrown at her, there was injury, and her escape was prevented. She was punished for attempting to set a limit on some of their behavior. Thankfully, and children were arrested. The District brought in more law enforcement through the end of the year.
And in another school district, a superintendent being brought in (to clean up a mess, naturally — it’s why the come in, right?), in a noble move, said that HIS seven year old would attend a local elementary school.
That’s noble. At least he’s willing to sacrifice his own child, as well as others.
I have a separate blog on education (infantile in size, so far), and another one (pre-natal in state) on the topic of Administering Families and Serving Humanity, and yes, that was sarcastic. Prepare to be shocked.
But these are related topics.
Meanwhile, any public discussion of any type of schooling NOT federally-mandated, budgeted, and NOT doing less for its dollars than almost any existing business I can think of, will not make the evening news.
The cartoonist to the left has inserted hands writing checks.
The Declaration of Independence
Read, and understand. What was this Declaration of Independence FROM — from what?
Drafted by Thomas Jefferson between June 11 and June 28, 1776, the Declaration of Independence is at once the nation’s most cherished symbol of liberty and Jefferson’s most enduring monument. Here, in exalted and unforgettable phrases, Jefferson expressed the convictions in the minds and hearts of the American people. The political philosophy of the Declaration was not new; its ideals of individual liberty had already been expressed by John Locke and the Continental philosophers. What Jefferson did was to summarize this philosophy in “self-evident truths” and set forth a list of grievances against the King in order to justify before the world the breaking of ties between the colonies and the mother country. We invite you to read a transcription of the complete text of the Declaration.
Drafted by Thomas Jefferson between June 11 and June 28, 1776, the Declaration of Independence is at once the nation’s most cherished symbol of liberty and Jefferson’s most enduring monument. Here, in exalted and unforgettable phrases, Jefferson expressed the convictions in the minds and hearts of the American people. The political philosophy of the Declaration was not new; its ideals of individual liberty had already been expressed by John Locke and the Continental philosophers. What Jefferson did was to summarize this philosophy in “self-evident truths” and set forth a list of grievances against the King in order to justify before the world the breaking of ties between the colonies and the mother country. We invite you to read a transcription of the complete text of the Declaration.
SO DO I:
IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.–Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
The 56 signatures on the Declaration appear in the positions indicated:
IF these facts had shown up in, say, “Family Court,” the response would be, “you are blaming us! Stop blaming us! You are stuck in the past,” (etc.). Yet, if a people within a nation can peaceably assemble to seek redress of grievances — and other countries have followed this example (Republic of Philippines, 2004), why cannot an individually, peaceably do so in a courtroom?
And how is it possible to seek redress, when the act of listing the grievances is then itself new sort of speech-crime, called, remembering them and speaking up? (Parental Alienation, etc.) We do not all live in the “eternal now of the spotless mind,” but are affected by a chain of events (see above), particular when said events cause suffering.
It has to be acknowledged that the phrase referring to the merciless Indian savages later led to intentional genocide, a reversal. In an irony to the HHS structure (which you may read on their FY2008 self-description) there is an IHS which has more discretion over how to use its funds than the other agencies. That is a separate post.
It has to be acknowledged that the signers of this declaration (and authors) did not, most likely, envision either Indians or African Americans (to them, slaves) voting. It has to ALSO be acknowledged, and should be publically, that WOMEN having this power to vote also was not on the horizon at this time. However, the words stand and express a declaration of independence against tyranny.
I could make a good case for the family law system falling under “inciting domestic insurrections,” and the conflict between the standards in the compulsory education system (LGBT sensitivity, no prayer, political correctness, not to mention the many fads and phases which simply teaching: reading, writing, and math have been subjected to) with the standards held by many conservatives who then go, with their connections, through Congress to “promote fatherhood” on the basis that is has somehow disappeared is another one.
Anyone who intentionally wastes my time and goes about to slow down, dumb down, indoctrinate, and/or traumatize MY and their father’s) OFFSPRING (children, in our case, daughters), is pretending to act, not acting, in their best interests. This IS being done, on a national basis, and I am tired of it. However, I have done nothing here, but report, and in the spirit of the above Declaration of Independence.
When I took a stand against the above, I became instant enemies with some forces I didn’t know existed (to this day). When I went to law for help, innocently, I then found a hornet’s nests of personalities I would never have, knowing this, freely associated with. Preventing anyone from exiting dangerous and oppressive situation when alternatives to that situation exists, IS a form of tyranny (a.k.a. “abuse.”)
Do YOU have time to take out (from life) to watch the people training the trainers to protect your children? (OR, educate them?) I don’t. I’d rather do it myself. I believe that quite possibly if the economic structure were not so dependent on dismantled families, we might have “healthier marriages” and more funds with which to feed, clothe, educate, and set our children on a healthy passage in life.
We cannot do this by chasing myths and accepting every foollish fallacy handed down from on high!
I hope in future posts to compare some of the language behind this one, and the multiple FACTUAL allegations presented in this declaration with the simple-minded assertions that jump start some of the proclamations put out by the United States Congress to solve problems IT declares existed, and starting SWEEPING reforms and policy changes, at our expense and to our detriment many times.
The rhetoric — and format — of these proclamations is not even in the same league with the one above, yet have effected a sea-change in the basic judicial processes, balance of powers, in transgression of several passages in the Bill of Rights. These have not been announced openly nationwide. They have been conferenced, but not voted on in general elections properly. And they produce strange fruit.
“Congressional Task Force on Father Promotion” (Google result)
Today’s post, however is long enough.
I am going to post it next.
In 1998, the House of Representatives, and in 1999, the Congress, resolved as you are about to see.
For a reference point, the “Violence Against Women Act” had only passed in 1994.
One wonders why the unanimity on fatherlessness so soon after this one, which gave women a way out of violence, and primarily in the home.
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When she “Shows and Tells” — take it seriously. It takes courage.
We tell young people to speak up about abuse.
This one did.”
Our global village — it seems to me that approximately one a week, at least nationwide, is occurring. The police WILL respond, and will sometimes prevent or minimize the fall-out, but more likely (they are only human, they are not omnipresent) they will count and identify the bodies, and speak to reporters, and neighbors. This is too late for those speaking up. This can be true when it comes to domestic violence also.
Before you read this post — if you read fast, if you skim well, and if you could commit to read THREE (3) pages of single-spaced, narrative, print, you will understand more: Do NOT pass go. Click on the centered title “Brave Children Speak Up” Read the first page “intro”, to the bottom, hit “next” or “continued,” then the next page to the bottom, click on “next” and then the 3rd page, to the bottom (individual stories).
Brave Children Speak Up
Alanna’s story is well-known — she finally fled from Northern California to Southern (Los Angeles) and was able to get help.
How I Process (present tense) My Experience (past)
I did not experience abuse as a child. Mine didn’t start til I was almost 40 years old. Yet I will affirm — you are not the same afterwards — your understanding of the world is not the same either, and never will be. You can function, but you sprout antenna, learn to “deal,” test your systems of meaning (all, for the most part, remain suspect), and are much, much, MUCH more alert to the various signals and possible interpretations of almost every one. This is rough on people you wish to maintain friendships, let alone a romantic connection, with. I know that I “tested.’ When my friend passed the test, didn’t blow up, didn’t run away, it frightened me more. I lost so many job situations that (for a period), I began to self-sabotage work rather than experience the forced-out situation again. (Economic control is a primary means of control). I felt like I was another species for a while, and finally accepted that, in some respects, I was. And I was NOT sexually abused as a child. . . . Or beaten. . . . Or deprived.
Negotiating what for others is often an Average situation:
[Leaving home. Coming back home. Possibly reporting what happened at home — to be continued. . . ]
One dilemma still up for grabs is a difficult one. I have faith, but I do not trust churches. This affects support systems and for sure sociability. But, I will affirm — there ARE people (both genders) who target these areas, and this IS one area a vulnerable (to being dominated to excess) women can be found. They also take in divorced and needy women, at times, hence, a charming unscrupulous man will find ample fields there.
One has to constantly renegotiate meaning in life. I have come to believe this is an asset. Intuition comes in handy in many fields (particularly artistic ones or ones that deal with group dynamics).
When abuse happens mid-way, or later in life, it is difficult to know what goals to set, in exiting it. It is also VERY difficult to exit it, as by middle age, so many professions, communities, and connections have come. More schooling is not always the answer. What about relationships?
I cannot imagine being a child who has betrayed by an adult.
Mine were (I will testify and do). But I cannot imagine it still, how to callous onesself and just go deal with it.
Again:
Brave Children Speak Up
I cannot think too hard on this one today. I refuse to abuse substances to turn my mind away. Each day’s internal parasympathetic (?) wiring stands alone, how much it can handle, but because I know what it’s like to have people “unable to stomach” my truths, I try to process and stomach others’ I read about. Can you handle this one? Perhaps you can. Children in the situation HAVE to.
I would like to say: It’s not the gun, but the attitude in the person carrying the gun. If it was not a gun, it could be a knife, an ax, or as happened recently a sword.
It’s also another, more communal problem called “denial.”
February 25, 2009
14 year old Priscilla Amador did not want to have sex or interact sexually with a man 40 years her senior. Especially her father. About 8 years of this was too much. Finally she worked up courage to tell: The Miami Herald, 2-27-09Police respond to “shots fired” and find family dead in murder-suicide
Editor’s note: This tragic incident is one of several like it that have surfaced recently. Although the exact details are not yet known, the mass violence it reflects needs to be noted.
. . . “It’s important to remember that one of the most dangerous persons an officer can face is someone who feels they’ve got nothing to live for and nothing to lose. There are a growing number of those people and that’s a very real threat to officer safety and survival. Now, more than ever, officers need to be highly trained, highly focused and thoroughly prepared to deal with the threats and challenges of doing their jobs in a time of crisis.”
Stay alert, be trained—even if it means taking steps to seek your own training—and remember that even “regular people” who would otherwise seem harmless and unlikely to pose a deadly threat, like the man in this incident, may in fact be extremely dangerous.
— Scott Buhrmaster, PoliceOne Managing Editor
RE: “ someone who feels they’ve got nothing to live for “
My recommended reading: Viktor Frankl, “Man’s Search for Meaning.”
There are choices, even in a concentration camp.
Another link that is not always explored, but should be, is the pharmaceutical connection. I speak as someone whose father in law was on medication (and committed suicide). Not smart to tinker too much with this chemistry. My policy is, don’t! Your body was designed smart: handle with care.
By Matt Sedensky
Associated PressMIAMI — A 53-year-old man fatally shot his wife and two daughters Wednesday before turning the gun on himself, and a 16-year-old son who survived the attack managed to call 911 as he escaped uninjured from the Miami home, authorities said. . . .
Sarit Betancourt, a 44-year-old school bus driver who lives near the family, said the father is a Cuban immigrant who gave piano lessons at a guitar shop and at his home. Betancourt’s two sons, ages 9 and 10, had been taking piano lessons from him once a week since 2006.
“He was a marvelous person and a tremendous professor,” she said. “People would enter the house, and you just breathed peace.”
[WELL, not for a little girl….]
PLEASE READ THE LINK (above) & THINK.
It cost her -- and her sister -- and her mother - their lives. I speculate that HE could not stand the shame or public exposure -- that task had been assigned (by him) for HER to carry. I'll say, assuming the charges were valid. One way to cut short THAT conversation, well, see headlines. "Be Prepared!" How? I don't know, but I know I must find out. So should you. I cannot editorialize much today. I am processing this one... I have teens. I also know that the issue is NOT primarily sex. It's about character, values, and entitlements. I do not think we should be suspecting all our neighbors of this (though clearly it's underreported). Perhaps we should all make sure that our kids have at least ONE other NON-family member they can confide in, and who know them. And we should all be informed of the overlap between wife abuse and child abuse. And that our young women are to value, and be able to hold, boundaries. Unfortunately, these boundaries are daily violated in so many contexts (including schools), that I'm at some loss to, as I posted elsewhere, safety a "place." I think that self-sufficiency has to be a THING you carry with you. As I said, today, there are limits to what can be processed. But I will not drop the topic. Are you, reader, aware that in Family Courts across the nation, custody of children, when contested, it being given to batterers in retaliation for reporting abuse of one form or another. If you don't believe me, believe the children who reported, and lived to tell:Related Articles:
Six die in L.A. family murder-suicide
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WHY Family Court (let’s get honest) “matters” to us all…
…Even if you’re not inside the doors. . .
…Even if you have your “act” together —
…Even if you’re not IN any marital or intimate partner act. Or relationship.
You are probably living with, next to, or in association with someone who has been. At least one of the people who go behind those doors into this family law / let’s mediate / co-parent / share custody / just get along (adversarial) system is going to be traumatized.
Another will be probably robbed. A third will be shocked. A fourth will be rewarded. A fifth will be back for more easy victories by hearsay accusations the next time he (or she) has a grudge. A sixth will be forced back to negotiate with the abusive partner she (OK, now you can argue: \”or he\”) was attempting to separate from — and will be lectured, after having worked up courage to do this — not to upset the children by showing anger, or conflict, because in this YOU-topia supposedly conflict never happens — or at LEAST never between parents.
This belief, along with Santa Claus, according to the same logic, is going to set your children on a good path for life.
A seventh will have been raised by one or more of the above. An eighth will be teaching (or in class next to) one of the above.
For a take on the intergenerational, societal transmission of trauma, see “www.sanctuaryweb.com“
Get real – – – and
Let’s Get Honest. Without hate.
Let’s look at the script (and playwrights) in family law.
Let’s look at the off-stage directions and who takes cues from whom. And let’s begin to understand that this is not a game, it is real people, real lives, and in some cases, physically “lost” in the drama.
Let’s ALL consider the profit/loss ratio in this endeavor, family law, family court services, custodyh evaluations, mediations, court-appointed guardians, and attempting to, through this process and under cover of “law”, force divorcing parties with enough anmosity they couldn’t work it out separately to come seeking a higher authority to punish the ex somehow, or extract children, or money from her or him, and on what basis. Personally, I (sarcastically) feel that both these words:
“FAMILY COURT“”
are accurate. The trick, like in any new culture, is to understand the idioms — usage — nuances. The “nuance” in this case is, assume the exact opposite is meant. Supposedly this is about “family,” and to help them. Supposedly courts, in the USA (and elsewhere) exist for the purpose of determining truth and dispensing justice. The words “public servant” possibly come to mind.
COURT: Go back a few hundred years, and think “court” again. Try Henry VIII or Louis XIV. Think about what takes place in the halls of a palace, and who gets to be there? How did one get an appointment at a palace? How did one, having obtained it, REtain it? There, that’s a little better, you’re getting warm… . . . Also, did you know that any attorney is considered an “officer of the court.” (not of you…) (I THINK).
FAMILY: The “Family” in question is less likely your own (which will be devastated, most likely, one way or another), but the true “FAMILY” here in are the professionals, and so-called experts that know they will be dealing with each other on an ongoing basis, referring business, exchanging pleasantries, and in some cases referring cases (translation: Jobs). “Good” for them actually could mean keeping a family IN the system. “Good” for the family biological generally means getting themselves OUT of the system and back to life as almost paranormal — or at least work, and sleep. Perhaps the words “fealty” or “feudal” are closer to the truth. I do not denigrate ethical, honest, overworked, and noble judges attorneys, or (well, I haven’t met such a mediator). I’m sure they exist, and among the approximately seven judges I’ve stood before in this case, some more than once, only the 3rd one would I characterize as ethical and having a reputation of actually having read the paperwork before him prior to ruling on it. Unfortunately, he quit family law, but I have been to date unable to.
The “COURT” does indeed hail back to royalty, and I think that is the most idealized among us that are going to lose in court. We have believed (prior to baptism by fire) that this system, while we weren’t in it, somehow existed, in ether, and would protect the innocent and help the falsely accused, if only the truth were at.
I tried that for many years with a man that, in about the 8th year of this “just trying to get along” (survive, from my standpoint), was offended, again, by a minor perceived provocation. I turned the music down, which was earsplitting and had just been turned up to make a point that the conversation was over. We had small children at this time. I reached over and turned a radio dial. Next thing you know, I had been grabbed, hurled, and landed on my chin in literally another room. Teeth were knocked loose.
I didn’t learn til many, MANY years later, that this was felony level domestic violence (serious injury caused) or that even a difference existed between the civil and criminal system existed. Why would I? I had prior to then inhabited churches, schools, parks (raising kids) with playgroups, and concert halls. I did not think that a DETAILED awareness of how our criminal, civil, and other justice system works, let alone knowing the laws of my state (and federal) were important to my safety and wellbeing. NOW, I think that at least the ability to navigate them, including what is the flowchart of a basic lawsuit (which is not that complicated…), should be required for high school graduation. Unfortunately, it appears that in too many US schools, we are still working on the ability to read. Period.
In other places, this may be called “DOMESTIC RELATIONS” or something similar. The same interpretions apply. Get your head out of the clouds and understand who is cozy with whom, and that it’s relationships, not evidence (in practice) that counts, in most arenas. THAT is the problem, and like the beginning of our country, principles count and are worth fighting to preserve, or restore. However one may bash “Dead White Males who owned slaves, or that it took women even longer to get the vote, the fact remains that that Constitution exists, as do the Bill of Rights. Like laws, muscles, or any other talent, they mean nothing without application towards the goal, and where these count is, they are that ideal. Or, should I yet say “were”? – – Use it or lose it. . . ..
Let’s consider
what kind of emotion drives people even showing up, via an Order to Show Cause requesting a Motion to MAKE THAT WOMAN (or MAN) stop, pay, or give me (back) my children. Think about it, and about the logic of any authority (which these courts are, in fact that is primarily what they are, order-makers) then telling both parties — when only one initiated the motion — (this is now the script) that “conflict” is bad for kids, so pretend you don’t have any, or no more contact with your kids. And let’s compare that with things such as, the state laws, the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, and so forth.. . . . MANY of these families, with kids, ended up there precisely because of out of court conflicts that had almost gotten lethal, or had hurt someone. The basic premise of any legal motion is that some “wrong” happened ( “tort” = “wrong” — and believe me, I didn’t learn that term even 3 years into the system), and therefore the court should redress it. However, in entering the halls, when kids are involved, thinking goes haywire, and despite the system of “tort” “redress” (etc.) on which law is based, the judges, and associated employees of the court, or an affiliate of it, then all communicate clearly that BOTH parties are wrong, since they couldn’t settle their own differences without court help. They are presumed needing a sound lecture of some sort, and of course therapy, if possible. The general idea of the process is DUE process. However, the general idea of the family law system as it now exists is virtual behavioral modification, and through this, I say, social engineering — mass scale. JUST REMEMBER “COURTS” // “ROYALTY.” Where do the allegiances typically lie? It often gets down to simply the character of the individual judges.
The desired result of a hearing in court is called and “order.” Contempt of it can (doesn’t often, but CAN) end one in jail. In the mythic interpretation of the process, which those of us without prior connections probably held going in, the order comes from a judge who is more noble and neutral than either of you, will hear EVIDENCE impartially, and in a manner coherent with the rules of court for the jurisdictions, and judicial ethics, as listening to attorneys (if any) who also abide by their professional codes of ethics, etc.
Like I just said above, about Santa Claus — ––
It being a stressed, fragmented world, in general, I imagine that you figure it’s “not your business.”
How about if I said, it’s your money, though, as a taxpayer?
How about if I said, it MAY just relate to the statistical probability of someone you know being a bystander of an irate spouse that took the law into his (and yes, it primarily IS “his” so, or the major news media AND USDOJ are both run by radical feminists, and censor mothers wiping out fathers, kids, bystander and a cop or two, and themselves because they were publicly humiliated, or just bitter, and couldn’t help themselves — and knew how to use a gun, or a knife, or a club, or tie a knot, etc.).
I’m WAY newer to blogging than to Family Court.
On the other hand, unlike FC, my blog doesn\’t imply that it\’s saving families, or even serving them (as in \”Family Court Services.\” Nor do I hope that somehow this will orchestrate a brave, new world. In fact years ago, when I was hauled in (no, it wasn\’t voluntary), my venues were limited to, and my focus on: my immediate family, profession(s), colleagues (when I still had them), and the communities I lived and worked in. I got on-line to email some friends from time to time. I wasn\’t fighting to find out where my rights went, and (because I wasn\’t in the habit of breaking laws or court orders to get my way in life) I wasn\’t desperately trying to search what my state code called that last despicable act. Or how come it only took 20 minutes to change my kid\’s futures, that had been set since an early age towards college, with scholarships, ANY college they set their sites on, within reason.
I would like to talk about what some of these myths do, that allow decent upstanding law-abiding, non-wife-beating, hard-working parents (and individuals) to keep clear of these halls and not trouble their sleep about what happens inside them . Let’s Get Honest about what the myth that justice is happening in behind these closed doors is costing the country, and your communities, overall.
Recently (Spring 2009), the US closed lots of schools in a panic over swine flu. Clearly someone understands the concept of “quarantine” for the general public safety. Then they decided to open them again. How about opening some of the closed doors in courtrooms? The people’s changes and humiliations / /wins / losses //responses to these (trauma, or as it sometimes, I”m sorry to say, turns out, kidnappings // femicides/homicide/suicides // poverty afterwards is already in public view.
So, “general public,” gentle readers, the family court leper colony is not working — for the family, or for the general public. However, it IS working quite well, thank you, for the type of personnel who designed it to start with (primarily, in the USA, in Southern California). And YOU (if you are Joe common bloke, Ann single working woman, or Mrs. Joe & Ann Smith, gainfully employed. Or (I hear now Maine is the 5th state in the US), Mr. & Mr. Joe and Harry Blow and Ms. & Ms. Ann and Sydney BestFriends. It may not really be about gender, only, in the courts either. I was a Mr. & Mrs., and prior to separation, we paid too, unaware of others’ trauma.
Any effort to reform it, should this be the goal, will have to address for whom this venue IS working just fine. To track this, try some of my links, or do your own research. I wouldn’t suggest calling all men bad (OR good) or all women, and the culture in general, a bunch of femininazi, male-bashing, sex-deprived (or sex-crazed, as case may be) misfits. That’s generally speaking not helpful.
What may be more helpful is to realize that large sectors of populace do actually believe those things. Some of them say it with Ph.D. language (“fatherlessness” — a.k.a. single mothers, case in point — are to blame for society’s ills.). Can you recognize the same talk, said in “expert” language and footnoted with a bunch of experts who believe the same thing? Then you’re getting a handle on the picture.
NOTE on TONE: “Related Blogs,” to left, some of them have a different tone than I want here. But they ALSO still have facts (news reports, laws, cases, etc.) there too. And they have a right to respond as expressively as they want to. Many or all of the bloggers there typically, lost custody of children to a batterer or a child-moleester, and sometimes as a direct consequence for having reported it. Some of them, as I heard, have been in jail for failing to be able, after that, come up with enough child support (we’re talking women). Some of the women I’ve met recently have gone to international courts for safety, and they/we are also aware of other groups going to the same international courts for different purposes.
So they have a right to be pissed off and say “forget you” or “I’m pissed off” or THIS (see image) is what I think of that group of demagogues. The point of my blog is dialogue (hopefully) and taking a close look at the players who are laughing the way to the bank (metaphorically) while the cats and dogs are spitting, hissing, biting, and scratching in the dust. I hope to keep the intensity level just enough to keep you (meaning “us”) VERY uncomfortable with inaction, but not so lit up that only discharging emotion action takes place.
Speaking up IS action, and particularly if one has been subject to violence already for doing so.
Identifiable causes, and identifiable solutions exist to the problems of familycourtmatters. These solutions are emotionally painful and would require some businesses that profit from our pain to find another source of referral, or another line of work. I suggest they be required to work with tangible production, who have manipulated people as if they were putty to accept the dysfunction — but let’s hope do not require bloodshed. And bloodshed IS already happening as a direct consequence of the hostility, lack of personal restraint, and level of frustration (BUT, it’s still the lack of restraint, I say) that is stirred up in these venues. So, see some of the “related blogs” to left. These women have been at it longer than me, and they have done their homework and I believe lived it too. I’m talking being stripped down naked when they went in for help. The problem is international in scope.
I was a hardworking (female, single mother) bloke, too, until I attempted to renew a standing domestic violence restraining order, simply in order to participate better in the “hard-working parent” part. I held no personal animosity against my children’s father, I just was unreconciled to the battering, abuse thing. Other than that, he was allowed to see his children quite frequently, just not continue to assault me, in front of them. I’m no criminal, and wasn’t a bitter, etc., etc. Mom. However, I had recently and VERY belatedly gotten some legal help setting boundaries, obviously an issue where there has been violence, and there was a major amount of cleanup and rebuilding. I needed my personal space for sure. This is a little hard to establish when one’s partner is more focused on his “manhood” than your “person-hood.”
Now I have been in the courts, shortly here, ALMOST as many years as I was in in-home, upfront abuse. I think this perspective should be discussed. I also want to speak to some of the noble people who have kept their noses clean by leaving justice to the experts, and mythically believing that, even if it DOESN’T happen, it’s not going to affect them personally.
It already has.
BUT — can we talk, blog, comment, post links, favorite books, and simply converse, without the skip the hate talk, pompous vague assertions, and ex-spurt** opinions, but
just see if (or is it \”whether\”)? there are still a few good men, women,
– – and children (children can blog, right?) —
who can skillfully toss out some metaphors, paradigms, puns, and maybe whimsical analogies
for me (and y\’all) to juggle around, look at them from underneath,
see if they have some weight, or bounce, or whether they dissipate into thin air under
their own hot, gaseous contents. This might even be fun.
Venom is not welcome. Biting sarcasm is fine. Insults too (it’s hard to be sarcastic without insulting SOMEone), but no threats, no advocacy to violence OR any illegal activity (I LIKE my blog, thank you!). Name-calling should be fleeting, at least skillful, and only, if a tall, as a lead in to something worthwhile to say. Remember, I moderate the comments.
Get personal — and speak for yourself: I FEEL, I\’VE NOTICED, I BELIEVE, but not personally nasty. Don\’t behind behind the curtain of plurals, vague assertions that can\’t be disproved, pronounced with a finality. This is not the place for the Wizard of Oz, but a bunch of Totos. We will bark back and expose your backside. Take credit for having a genuine personal experience apart from the gang you happen to belong to. I\’ll do the same.
**Ex-spurts are known by that action — spurting forth publications, opinions, pronouncements (DVDs, Conferences, and more). Did a conference save a life? Maybe. I’m generally a little wary when the people pronouncing on families can afford the DVDs and conferences, and the subject families, after having been “fixed” by the same bunch, can’t. Where’s the due process in THAT?
Forming organizations, alliances, and nonprofits to stop what the other nonprofits are doing wrong, or compensate for whatever government isn\’t doing to their pleasing.
The real experts have had the experiences BEFORE they start publishing, promoting, and starting branches of study that didn\’t exist before a pet pre-occupation became a profession. I\’d rather SEE an expert (at his or her work) than HEAR one any day.
And I do music. . . . . or Did. My music survived only XX years parallel to lawsuits, accusations, family rifts, threats, stalking etc. I’m here still at XX + about 2 years post-music, and still sweeping up. Like any Mom who has better things to do with (what remains of) her time, and always did, I am interested in stopping the mess-making at its source.
I plan to do plenty of spurting forth of words here — but unlike those in family court (I mean, the denizens, not the nomads passing through),
I am not trying to use these words to separate you from your children — or your money. Just maybe some of your time. I have no style sheet. Remember the advice of Tim Ferriss — you can get ex-spurt status on any number of things in under 4 weeks — it\’s more a matter of credibility. On the other hand, you can say the same thing for a decade or two,
I have no outline. I simply intend to talk, promote my links and books, and see what\’s around the bend here. Don\’t be too rigid except where it counts — (no, fellas, not that part!) — on civil rights. On matters of law, and fair play. And on the facts. There are plenty of ways to skin a cat, but whose idea was that to start with?
There are also many ways to abuse – – very few, that I\’ve found, to stop it — but \”family court\” sure doesn\’t appear to be ONE of them.
Possibly removing the financial / emotional incentives for continued abuse.
What do you say?
Please make fun of some euphemisms. Speak in short words. Or long words. Just don\’t bore us with something we\’ve already been drenched in – – like \”alienation,\” or insult my intelligence by pronouncing a truth that is your personal truth only as if it were one of those universal ones, like (at least to date), water is essential to life. Having two parents in the home, I\’m sorry to say, is not, not always. I know plenty of very, very dysfunctional two-parent homes. I came from one, and so did my erst-while, ex-cohabitant spouse. I\’ll verify he\’s got some severe issues, and I\’ve read in my pleadings, this is also held to be true of me. So, one exception disproves a universal rule, let\’s get (real).
Let's Get Honest! Absolutely Uncommon Analysis of Family & Conciliation Courts' Operations, Practices, & History 
Ocean County NJ — 2009, it “spiraled out of control,” 2008, “a perfect storm of DV”, but $86 mil still for “NJ Public Law & Safety” 2007-2009
with 6 comments
(More on the dangers of love and romance in New Jersey, and in faulty misplacement of trust in law enforcement, prosecution, and public safety entitites:)
BUT FIRST, A FEW SERIOUS WORDS — and this is not a help site, but I feel it’s important:
U.S. Army Survival Manual FM 21-76 (link)
June 1992
I attached Chapter 1 — Intro & a few excerpts. There’s a Chapter 2 – psychology, also.
S U R V I V A L
S — SIZE UP YOUR SITUATIONS
U – USE ALL YOUR SENSES – UNDUE HASTE MAKES WASTE
R – REMEMBER WHERE YOU ARE
V – VANQUISH FEAR AND PANIC
I – IMPROVISE
V – VALUE LIFE!
A – ACT LIKE THE NATIVES
L – LIVE BY YOUR WITS, BUT FOR NOW LEARN BASIC SKILLS.
(SOME EXCERPTS & COMMENTS)
S – Size Up the Situation
If you are in a combat situation, find a place where you can conceal
yourself from the enemy.
Remember, security takes priority. Use your senses of hearing, smell, and sight to get a feel for the battlefield. What
is the enemy doing? Advancing? Holding in place? Retreating?
{{Boy, THOSE are not terms you hear so often in domestic violence counseling or treatment, or issuing of restraining orders, right?}}
You will have to consider what is developing on the battlefield when you make
your survival plan.
Size Up Your Surroundings
Determine the pattern of the area. Get a feel for what is going on
around you. Every environment, whether forest, jungle, or desert, has
a rhythm or pattern. This rhythm or pattern includes animal and bird
noises and movements and insect sounds. It may also include enemy
traffic and civilian movements.
Size Up Your Physical Condition
The pressure of the battle you were in or the trauma of being in a
survival situation may have caused you to overlook wounds you received.
Check your wounds and give yourself first aid. Take care to prevent
further bodily harm. For instance, in any climate, drink plenty of water
to prevent dehydration. If you are in a cold or wet climate, put on
additional clothing to prevent hypothermia.
Size Up Your Equipment
Perhaps in the heat of battle, you lost or damaged some of your
equipment. Check to see what equipment you have and what condition
it is in.
Now that you have sized up your situation, surroundings, physical condition,
and equipment, you are ready to make your survival plan. In doing
so, keep in mind your basic physical needs—water, food, and shelter.
{{Guess what: in this situation, job wasn’t a basic physical need, priority wise. She was smart, and let go of the house, but . . .. . }}
U – Use All Your Senses, Undue Haste Makes Waste
You may make a wrong move when you react quickly without thinking
or planning. That move may result in your capture or death. Don’t move
just for the sake of taking action. Consider all aspects of your situation
(size up your situation) before you make a decision and a move. If you
act in haste, you may forget or lose some of your equipment. In your
haste you may also become disoriented so that you don’t know which
way to go. Plan your moves. Be ready to move out quickly without
endangering yourself if the enemy is near you. Use all your senses
to evaluate the situation. Note sounds andtemperature changes. Be observant.
The greatest enemies in a combat survival and evasion situation are
fear and panic. If uncontrolled, they can destroy your ability to make an
intelligent decision. They may cause you to react to your feelings and
imagination rather than to your situation. They can drain your energy
and thereby cause other negative emotions. Previous survival and
evasion training and self-confidence will enable you to vanquish fear
and panic.
Back to my regularly scheduled post. . . .
Saturday August 15, 2009, 8:08 AM
http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2009/08/bob_dylan_stopped_by_long_bran.html
“
This incident ended without incident and, presumably the concert afterwards. The Times, they are indeed a-changin’.
by The Associated Press
Saturday April 04, 2009, 11:42 AM
An Ocean County man will spend at least the next nine years in prison for robbing a bank last year while his girlfriend waited outside with her two young children.
A state Superior Court judge in Ocean County has sentenced Jason Conway to 11 years for robbing a Bank of America branch in Brick. The 32-year-old Conway will have to serve at least 85 percent of the sentence.
Prosecutors said Conway went in to rob the bank while girlfriend Jessica Faulkenberry waited outside with her two children and a change of clothing for Conway.
Police dogs eventually tracked Conway to the apartment where the couple lived.
Faulkenberry, who is 23, was sentenced to three years in prison after she pleaded guilty to two counts of child endangerment
Which goes to show, prosecution can happen, and crime often requires some enablement, somewhere along the line.
Supreme Court to review sex offender law
The top court agrees to assess a law that lets the US government indefinitely detain sex offenders even after they have served their sentences.
By Warren Richey | Staff writer of The Christian Science MonitorAlthough this is being appealed, someone decided to keep the person in jail, just as they decided to check out Bob Dylan.
Go figure…
Now let’s have an honest talk about expecting protection from public officials or actions, after reading this editorial (not article) on the same murder/suicide that happened 5 hours after he was released, obviously hopping mad on a few accounts: marriage cancelled, thievery being caught (he’d stolen from his fiance), public humiliation at last-minute cancellation of the marriage, probably anger at child support arrears, and being caught at THAT, plus being called on his behavior in public. He had been twice rejected (or failed) in marriage and was apparently not about to “get some” in the home front, and in short, the guy had been confronted on his behavior. I also read (elsewhere) that Ocean County employment was 6.2% last year, and 10% this year. Who knows what the terms of his divorce were? But this does not appear to be the type of guy who is going to go too long without a woman companion (judging by the overlap between EX and NEW).
[Same murder/suicide, Toms River, editorial]: Tighter Restraints Needed on Domestic Violence: app.com editorial
In other words — it not being their lives, their families at stake — the prosecutor reframed the truth back then, too, diverting the discussion away from system failures to the generic term “domestic violence. This does not appear to have stemmed the flow of federal funds to stop exactly this type of event (see subject line, see resources at end of this post).
No, Zindell did not do everything right. First of all, she had everything going for her, was still relatively young (maybe not in shore culture, but she was!) and went picked the wrong man — or let him pick her. Why become involved with an older man, an ex-wife, 3 boys and debt? What was the prior history with relationships — was he the first significant one?
She lacked information to realize who this man was, and apparently didn’t run a criminal background check on the guy before he moved in. She was still young (relatively) and perhaps didn’t realize what this guy had at stake in “winning,” and like a lot of 2nd women is taken in, thinking the difficulties perhaps must have been that first “bitch” woman treated him wrong Of course I have no idea of Ms. Zindell thought this, but I’ve seen it plenty. There are vulnerabilities.
I can understand her not wanting to give up a good career and move out of state. But this ended up with loss of life (so much for job first). She possibly (been there, done that) was thinking that sending a clear message would be heard by this person. She thought the police would do the right thing, the prosecutors would do the right thing, and being probably involved in her job, wasn’t paying close attention to the statistics, the “DV” stuff that someone who’s gone through it might. I cannot say of course anything about what wa sin the mind, but the fact is, the responsibility to protect DOES lie with the individual, and one of THE most dangerous things any woman could do (or attitudes to adopt) is to think that anything less than full safety and full protection is acceptable. She did not have children by this man (which changes dynamics). She didn’t have sufficient people around her urgently enough (or trusting them if they were urgent) to know a good one from a bad one based on behaviors, or past behaviors.
Even so, Ocean County screwed up, and doesn’t seem very apologetic about it. Judge accordingly, if this is a situation of someone you care about, or yourself. Assumptions are not bliss, facts are.
Let’s read this account — there are a few points where more vigilance might have saved a life — do you know or see what they were? Do you see how the vulnerability? The following is the most complete article I’ve seen yet, giving more of her background, more details on the arrest record (although NOTHING on why he was released!), and who she packed up and was moving out.
http://beta.app.com/article/20090814/NEWS/90815005/1401/news05
. . . .
She was an only child.
She was a young superstar with a big heart, obviously, and dedicated in social service and helping others (like this dude, too).
Her father had died, after approving the marriage to this man (DAD, where was YOUR head at?)
A male friend left her alone after she packed some things to move out. DID SHE KNOW HE”D BEEN RELEASED? REALLY?
Now, about that NJ $86 million for public safety and law . . . . .
WIKIPEDIA:
The New Jersey Department of Law and Public Safety is a governmental agency in the U.S. state of New Jersey that focuses on protection of the lives and property of New Jersey residents and visitors. The department operates under the supervision of the New Jersey Attorney General. The department is are responsible for safeguarding “civil and consumer rights, promoting highway traffic safety, maintaining public confidence in the alcoholic beverage, gaming and racing industries and providing legal services and counsel to other state agencies.”[1]
Notice: public confidence in (several income-producing industries in NJ) and providing legal services and counsel — not to individuals, but to state agencies. Atlantic City (Southern Jersey, where this crime occurred) is a center of these industries.
(The NJ Attorney General is an office, per wikipedia, that goes back to 1704, pre-U.S., and is too colorful to deal with here, although I note that in recent years, a Latina Attorney General, “Farber” was forced to resign over driving and traffic ticket and alleged ethical violations but in the larger context, well, she wasn’t Republican….. . .Despite the traffic record / behaviors, she sounds like an amazing person, having come from Cuba at age 16 to later become Attorney General of NJ!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zulima_Farber
NJ.Gov Offfice of Attorney General Bio
However, my interest in this department comes from the amount of federal funds it is receiving under prevention of Violence Against Women, including “formula grants” to prevent violence against women. I want to know why Frisco was given a low bail.
This department prosecutes public corruption as in (this just in Aug. 14th):
Morris County Sheriff’s Officer Pleads Guilty to Extortion for Demanding Money from Inmate for Special Treatment in Jail
Kind of makes you think, eh? Why wasn’t Frisco’s behind in jail? Another article I reviewed showed that WITHIN about 5 hours of his release, he had killed Ms. Zindell. Ms. Zindell was staying with “friends” however, he had been at a rehearsal dinner, and likely knew who some of her friends were. See donnasavage.com — Victim Safety Plan.
OR, announced August 5, 09 (2007 crimes)
Hillside Police Officer Pleads Guilty to Stealing Funds from Homelessness Prevention Program
Now, this was the tip of the iceberg, apparently in stealing from the “Homelessness Prevention Program (HPP) by Dept. of Community Affairs (“DCA”) — read on:
Let’s run this one by again: The “senior field representative responsible for processing these cases in the county, stole more than $866,000 from Homeless People who the program existed to serve!
Guess what — were this my state, this would refer to me. I do not feel responsible for any of the crimes committed against me, for failing to report them, and failing to avoid becoming a target of them. Nevertheless, there is this other system, called “family law” which does not fully recognize criminal behavior as criminal. A major organization and conferencer, publisher, writer, and (some of us have recently learned) co-recipient of grants to STUDY domestic violence, has itself stated, in its own “about us” history, that it wishes to de-emphasize the “old-fashioned” terminology in criminal law in favor of, well, more behavioral terminology. The systems of grants affects this.
Pause for Homespun wisdom:
Public service does indeed attract public servants, as a field. Fields of public service which entail a lot of authority over others’ lives also attract people who really LIKE a lot of authority over other people’s lives. AND, grant streams attract both public servants, who wish to help the intended recipients of those grants, AND people of criminal intent (or act least actions) who realize they can DIVERT such funds for themselves, relatives, girlfriends/boyfriends, and so forth. This goes up to judge level and attorney level, and at some point, one has to understand and accept that human nature throughout society runs the gamut from bad to good. The assumption that all in certain programs are “good” is simply naive. And all too common.
I found out about this AFCC after years of criminal behavior towards my daughters and me, and one other relative, resulting in chronic poverty from chronic employment loss, underemployment, related distresses (including PTSD, which was gone, and returned in a certain year), and returning to an “at-risk” situation I wasn’t in beforehand:
WHO IS AFCC (briefly, organization website):
AFCC members are:
[[What about “parents” ?? Are they invited/welcomed/recruited, too??]]
{{As such, these professionals, about whom many litigants are blissfully (til their decisions are handed down) unaware, are participating in an organization which has a mission to transform society and use the legal venue for behavioral science purposes. This, it has done.}}
That’s a whole lot of people dedicated to addressing family conflict. (And a whole lot of livelihoods. If this issue of family conflict were actually fixed, or drastically reduced, what would these people then do for a living?). Incidentally, the term “court commissioners” is where the child support appears to come in, at least in my state. This also seems (to me) to show a certain conflict of interest. Do you see the category “parents” in there? While many of these, naturally ARE themselves parents, one has to wonder how the parents themselves, the litigants, are going to be able to financially sustain the burden of all those professions.
The good news is, they don’t. See federal grants to states.
The bad news is, the federal government still gets its money from taxes. And when AFCC professionals faced with a divided interest between AFCC goals and US Constitution goals, they are as likely as you or I to say, what’s in it for me, where’s the money, and go with those they know better and have longer-term social and professional relationships with. In other words, it’s an ethical issue.
They push through policies without clearing it with the American public. This is an “in loco parentis” situation, and wrong.
Maybe these conflict of interest, or diversion of tax funds (by artificially prolonging court cases, and referring jobs to cohorts) is just a sporadic exception, and not really significant.
Kind of like domestic violence. I mean, abuse. I mean family conflict. I mean a domestic dispute. Like that one that erupted recently at a California toll plaza. Oops, excuse me, the 2nd article said it was a cold-blooded setup, not a hot-blooded distraught person.. . . . . . Maybe it’s not that common. . . . .
OK, CONTEXT: AFCC wishes to downgrade the use of criminal language in family conflict contexts:
No thank you. The law has a form of reason in it, and procedures and safeguards. The behavioral sciences are a created industry with a humanistic view, and in the hands of people with religious zeal to transform society — well the history of religion has its own bloody footprints. No thank you. I’ll go for sound reasoning and truth, every time — factual truth. As did this prosecution team which caught a county employee for a homeless program stealing money from the homeless it was intended to serve!
Back to: Hillside [NJ] Police Officer Pleads Guilty to Stealing Funds from Homelessness Prevention Program, in context of NJ Dept. of Public Law & Safety, and their $86 million to save people like Zindell and Frisco, and the others listed in my last post, state of NJ, 1998-2008, one newspaper’s accounts only, excerpts only:
HAVE they? Are the other defendants in jail? If so, why are the former DCA employees on probation and not in jail. Are the four corporations still doing business, and where can the NJ public be told who they are?
In other words, although fully 5 DCA employees were corrupt, we got lucky and the DCA self-reported this corruption. Maybe it was a few good eggs. Maybe it was enough good eggs afraid of being associated with the bad eggs. This is why I MUCH prefer the, let’s have the citizens go get accountability for programs involved in our lives — ourselves — rather than hope some appointed, funded experts are doing it. This isn’t Disneyland, and our minds shouldn’t be living there. Maybe Disney has something to do with why public minds went one way, while criminal minds, the other, I don’t know.
NJ, admittedly, has its hands full with “real” crimes, as opposed to domestic family disputes — drugs, gangs, and so forth, as was (coincidentally, same day as this article on the homeless program embezzlements) announced earlier this month:
Governor Corzine Announces Dramatic Decline in Homicides in Camden City
as Statewide Violence Reduction Initiative Nets More than 980 Arrests in 14 Months
Homicides in Camden this year down 46 percent
GOVERNOR’S STRATEGY FOR SAFE STREETS AND NEIGHBORHOODS (MAP SHOWS NJ HOMICIDES BY COUNTY)
Yet there was funding to help this situation coming to NJ, per the OAG website. I had some trouble with select, copy, paste, and encourage viewers to check the URL instead: I just saw several that related to violence against women, that’s all:
The STOP Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) Grant Program provides the State Office of Victim-Witness Advocacy (SOVWA) a formula grant allocation under the Violence Against Women Act, authorized for funding in the 1994 Crime Bill. Federal rules allow 10% of the total VAWA award to be used to administer the grant program. The balance of the funding must be allocated as follows: 25% to law enforcement, 25% to prosecution, 30% to victims services, 15% discretionary and 5% to courts. Pursuant to new federal regulations, in 2003 the Division of Criminal Justice and SOVWA formed a statewide VAWA Advisory Committee to develop a Three-Year Implementation Plan, approved by the Office of Violence Against Women, to ensure continuation of services, opportunities for program expansions and introduction of new program
The Office of Victims of Crime (OVC) provides the State Office of Victim-Witness Advocacy (SOVWA) formula allocations under the Victims of Crime Act (VOCA) Victim Assistance Grant Program. SOVWA awards these funds to subgrantees who provide direct services to crime victims. VOCA guidelines allow for up to 5% of each year’s grant to be used to administer the Program. State grantees also have the option of retaining up to 1% of each year’s grant for conducting statewide and/or regional trainings for victim services staff. VOCA enumerates the types of direct services eligible for funding under this grant program. A minimum allocation of 10% must be awarded to subgrantees providing direct services to crime victims in each of the four categories: sexual assault, domestic violence, child abuse, and underserved populations as victims with disabilities, language barriers, living in isolated locations and homicide survivors (as determined by the state grantee). This allocation requirement may be waived if the state grantee can document to OVC that a category of crime victims is currently receiving a significant amount of financial assistance from the state or other funding sources, a smaller amount of financial assistance or no assistance is needed or crime rates have diminished for the particular type of crime. VOCA funds are awarded to each of the 21 County Prosecutors’ Offices of Victim-Witness Advocacy, SANE/SART programs and DCJ programs (NJ VINE, Bias Crimes, Victim Services). SOVWA also provides direct funding to non-profit victim services agencies through the competitive Notice of Availability of Funds (NOAF).
The federal Office for Victims of Crime provides the State Office of Victim Witness Advocacy (SOVWA) formula allocations under the VOCA Victim Assistance grant program. These funds are used by the SOVWA to provide direct services to crime victims. The Victims of Crime Act enumerates the kinds of services that are eligible for funding under this grant program. Funds from this program are awarded to the county offices of Victim Witness Advocacy in each of the 21 county Prosecutors’ offices. Additionally, the SOVWA also provides direct funding to victim services agencies through the competitive Notice of Availability of Funds (NOAF) process.
Were there not program initiatives to help Ms. Zindell make a healthier marital choice? I mean this is definitely a going concern:
Healthy Marriages and Promoting Responsible Fatherhood. Here are the current grantees, nationwide, under both categories (BUT- – one program#, making it a little hard to differentiate fatherhood programs from abstinence programs, from what-nots.
NJ’s only recent “current” grants — although this is only relative to the website above) Fatherhood program was:
Maybe that might take a little consideration — are we missing something, between the Steven Stosny’s Compassion Boot Camp philosophy, as expressed through court-ordered batterer’s treatment programs run by Catholic Charities, and going into prisons to teach fatherhood, but somehow, something missed Mr. Frisco in the mix. I guess choice still exists…
I think it possibly likely that Ms. Zindell did not see herself as a victim of domestic violence, although it’s clear she took protective measures. She was living with, but not married to this man. The amount of resources by county, available in NJ, is almost stunning:
http://www.state.nj.us/dca/divisions/dow/resources/countyresourcesdv.html
However the only reference in OCEAN county is to Catholic Charities. Even so. . . . one needs the vocabulary and understanding to take action. In looking at these NJ departments, there are some for “Children and Families” and for “Human Services” but none that actually SAY “Women” on them. There is a Victim Services department. Typically, we do not exist as a gender, only as a family function, too often (I say). There are no children without women’s participation. And yet, we don’t have an identity. “Children” do. “Families” do. Interesting.
http://www.state.nj.us/nj/gov/deptserv/
Some funding that went to NJ Public Law and Safety — straight to the government, per a site “USASPENDING.GOV”
(use with caution, but it’s at least an indicator).
The bar chart represents the years this database covers: 2000 – 2009
Total number of recipients: 4
(actually, this is one recipient with
4 different versions of its name;
there is a common recipient ID number for this database that I used to search on).
Total number of transactions: 39
Categories of assistance (these are “program ID” numbers).
Top 5 Known Congressional Districts where Recipients are Located
Top 10 Recipients
Recipient Type
This is all I can handle for today. I just reviewed some of the scams caught by this agency. I still think $86 million is a lot to account for, and wonder “what happened” in this incident. However, by the time someone figures out, there will be more, and similar. Take care of those closest to you and assume nothing.
As to faith-based institutions, NJ at least caught these folks. . . . BUT — notice the fields they earned money in!
Pastors of Morris County Church to Reimburse Congregants for Misappropriated Donations
NEWARK – The pastors of a Randolph-based church who were accused of diverting congregation donations for their own personal use, including purchase of 78-foot schooner and a $1.6 million property in Mendham, have agreed to reimburse donors and immediately resign from the church’s board.
Additionally, a fiscal monitor will take control of the banking and financial accounts maintained by Church Alive, Inc., which also is known as Randolph Christian Church, Inc. The church is a non-profit corporation located at 791 Route 10 in Randolph.
Eric Simons and his wife, Marianne, who are pastor and assistant pastor of the church, and Philip DuPlessis, an assistant pastor at the church, also are barred for 10 years from serving on any financial board. DuPlessis’ wife, Sharon, is an assistant pastor at the church but she is not a respondent in this settlement.
“These church leaders asked for donations for the betterment of the congregation but in reality they misused these monies for their own personal gain,” Attorney General Anne Milgram said. “We remain vigilant in enforcing the state’s charities laws and we will continue to hold accountable those who attempt to cheat donors.”
Congregants were told their donations would be put into a Building Fund. Instead, the donations were comingled with other church funds that were solely controlled by the Simonses and DuPlessises. In addition to the schooner and property, they paid themselves “honorarium” totaling $150,000 and also spent $39,395 on “life-coaching” classes and a “life-coaching” license for Eric Simons. Simons operates a for-profit “life-coaching” business. The church itself holds the license.
<<GEE, sounds like National Fatherhood Initiative (same business!)>>
“These pastors violated the trust of donors, claiming the donations would fund a new building. Instead, by controlling the donated funds without any oversight, they spent lavishly on themselves. Donors need to be vigilant and check with our Charities Registration Unit before giving their hard-earned dollars to any charitable or non-profit group,” said David Szuchman, Consumer Affairs Director.
{{{DOES THIS ALSO APPLY TO OUR FEDERAl, STATE, COUNTY & LOCAL GOVERNMENTS GIVING TO CHARITABLE ORGANIZATIONS?}}
The church is required to appoint an official board within 30 days, under terms of the Consent Order with the state. The board is required to review the employment status of all church employees, including the Simonses and DuPlessises, as well as all financial records and report back to the Division of Consumer Affairs.
The board will determine the sales prospects for the Mendham property, which is located at 14 Kingsbrook Court. The Simonses currently reside there.
The DuPlessises are required to repay the church $125,000 and turn over title and registration to the schooner. Eric Simons and Philip DuPlessis each must repay $50,000, the honoraria which were used to purchase the schooner.
Eric Simons and Philip DuPlessis also must repay a total of $14,495 as reimbursement for “life-coaching”education. The state will be reimbursed $60,917 for its investigative and legal expenses.
Deputy Attorneys General Anna M. Lascurain, Chief, Securities Fraud Prosecution Section, and Isabella T. Stempler represented the state in this legal proceeding. Supervising investigator Larry Biondo led the investigative work.
An online directory of charitable organizations registered in New Jersey can be found atwww.state.nj.us/lps/ca/charity/chardir.htm. Consumers also can call the Charitable Registration Hotline at 973-504-6215. Religious organizations are exempt from having to register but they must comply with the state’s Charities and Non-Profit Corporation laws.
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Written by Let's Get Honest|She Looks It Up
August 18, 2009 at 4:03 PM
Posted in "Til Death Do Us Part" (literally), After She Speaks Up - Reporting Domestic Violence and/or Suicide Threats, Fatal Assumptions, Lethality Indicators - in News, Split Personality Court Orders
Tagged with Bribery Extortion Fraud Racketeering-public funds, domestic violence, Frisco/Zindell (NJ 2009), murder-suicides, NJ-Toms River, retaliation for reporting, social commentary, U.S. Govt $$ hard @ work..