Archive for August 2009

My Copy Editing Disclaimer: While I CAN Copy-edit for stylistic consistency, I DON’T herein: Let’s Get Honest, this blog just ain’t about to be copyedited

Excuse #1: PTSD (what’s YOUR excuse?)

re: The PTSD – There’s no Excuse for Abuse!

Like my approach to this Blog, it’s a choice. (see photo to right)

Almost every excuse I’ve heard, mostly from family members, calls it something else, like “helping.” The real struggle affecting the wider public in this arena (Family Court) is naming. Name-calling. It’s a language issue. Language controls SO much. It controls children and money, which are unfortunately closely related here, and my sense of the courts is that the system has become closer to an auction block than a process dispensing justice, or fair decisions based on facts. We are the state where it’s not only profitable to work in and around the courts, it is ALSO profitable to work for nonprofits dedicated, so they claim, to advising and changing the courts.

The amount of help I would’ve needed at specific dates in time, to be TOTALLY and COMPLETELY solvent and free from abuse in short order after leaving it, almost never, once I had my income set up, exceeded a single child support payment, which at this point in time was set at lower than cash-aid for a family of two, which we’d been on briefly and which generated the initial support order tos tart with. Alternately, I could’ve, with only a half more year of non-intervention policy from my family, omitted the child support entirely, and gone on our merry way, with two great children regularly seeing both parents, while living with one.

Instead, someone coached someone how to stop this, and the answer, the salvation, was the family law arena. In the middle of recovery, and almost to safety or to “shore” (financially speaking, and this counts!) I was kicked back into self-defense mode, as a single mother and the nonbattering parent who’d finally worked up courage to file a restraining order.

By the time I got myself up to speed on domestic violence literature, the laws, the rules of court, and the fact that any and all of the above are, in essence and in practice, “moot points,” my income, safety, boundaries, and stability were gone. It took a very short few years to get this household BACK into trauma and poverty, and from there, snatch my kids.

This did not just affect one family, or three generations, and relatives in one family, though it has. It affected the wider community and burdened the social services, as I called crisis lines, again started attending DV support systems. I hemorrhaged jobs and professional connections, and had a traumatic bonding relationship with law enforcement in two counties (and more cities). MORE police reports were generated from my attempts to get kids back on a weekend exchange (after restraining order was removed) and then retaliatory frivolous calls by my ex (for example, if I was supposedly 1 minute late, when I wasn’t even that), than even happened during the years of physical violence and assaults upon me, my property, and animals in the home. Some severe (physical) threats to me were generated from protesting animal abuse. Still gullible, I continued to hope that law enforcement would help enforce laws. Even when they allowed my children to be removed illegally from my custody based on clear perjury and after a judge’s order had directly forbidden this — less than 24 hours earlier — these peace officers failed to enforce when asked to. The same office knew of the former domestic violence restraining order, and in fact, I think this exchange was beginning to get a bit of a reputation there (though I can’t say for sure).

I did not understand HOW necessary it was for me to understand the ENTIRE system in these matters. And it is appropriate to respond according to the truth of a situation, not to our myths about the truth of our situation. IF I had made it through this website: NAFCJ.net — BEFORE my kids were stolen, I might have acted differently.

No one goes through all that without seeking answers. While few hours go into copyediting, MANY have gone into researching what I blog about, and that’s what underlies the confidence, as unpleasant as what I found was. Namely, if I could summarize it, organized crime in high places. Not exactly breaking news, but still we like to think, protectively, it’s not going to affect us, somehow.

Certain professions attract certain personality types. It’s unfortunate but true, and public service is simply not always the prime motivation.

Old myths die fast.

Life and death truly are in the power of the tongue. When any group seeks to pre-empt language, and re-write history, we had best be VERY cautious.

Name-calling is a basic human trait defining social groups, and always has been. However, when a larger conglomerate of social groups is to function somehow, they have to have a “language” to describe the interactions, and some sort of regulation of those to minimize fighting. As one age gives way to another, language is a real clue. The largest clue is where the greatest silence is. In this arena of family law, there has been an intentional, and arising from a single set of sources (date, places, and times have been identified on their own websites) to CHANGE TERMINOLOGIES, and make excuse for abuse. I speak about this, as well as refer to (hopefully not in totally identifying detail; this is always an internal struggle, how much to say) some of the major areas of silence in this venue.

HOW MANY blogs are you going to find which post grants data from BOTH the fatherhood/marriage and the Violence Against Women (i’m going to, today, some more) groups and ask pointed questions about how many lives are those funds saving — and according to whom? I have limited time, limited brain capacity and when focused on content, cannot also focus on polishing content.

The fallout from failing to SEE and ACT on the truth in this venue is sometimes death, poverty, homelessness, and intergenerational transmission of trauma, to those involved, or sometimes those associated with those involved. What we as a society fail to see is where loss to ONE set of people (in these venues) is gain to another — the profit from prolonging the distress.

No one likes to talk about that, but we must, and I DO — and the fact that I do, in the history of who I’ve been personally dealing with, and now, seeing the wider scope of the problem (which isn’t any prettier), there is an element of fear associated with breaking cultural tabus, speaking up. Families with histories of violence or incest have kept it going through silence, as mine did for 10 years while it happened to me in front of God and a lot of other on-lookers.

But I do because of what’s in me that loves and wants to speak truth, not suppress it (I know ALL about that) and because of what’s left in my heart (which is a lot!) regarding my daughters, who have been lied to, lied about, and induced to lie in some of these matters.

Therefore, getting it “up and out” is an act of some courage for me, and when I focus too much on editing, the courage fails. It’s a totally different process and mode. (This “serious” section was added after the more lighthearted stuff below). In my marriage, when I spoke, he sometimes hit – doing so was ALWAYS trauma, sometimes caused serious injury, and always was intended that I should not speak. This is why I believe some abusers target the neck and mouth area. They don’t want us to speak, or breathe. When it comes to economic abuse, there is difficulty with communication and transportation infrastructures — isolate and intimidate is the name of the game. And then, once this is in place, interrogate and degrade.

Why do they go for the neck? (I learned at a conference in 2007 that this is a lethality indicator, in a publication addressed to dentists! I went to a dentist with teeth knocked loose years before, it didn’t raise any eyebrows even, that I could tell! The story I gave them (at that point) was ridiculous. It wasn’t questioned. That was a serious missed opportunity, and followed up on, might have produced a criminal report and a night in jail; it might have changed things. It SHOULD have. But by this time in the marriage, I’d been through the round of reporting, and reaching out, and speaking up. I was beginning to take a stand against abuse IN my marriage, and things were heating up as a direct consequence.

Though I have lost a tooth, income, children, and thousands of dollars (as have others who then attempted to support me but took not action to confront the abuse or violence), not one cent of “Victim Compensation” funding came this way. Not one identifiable “help” other than naming the abuse that was happening, came from one of the best-funded groups in this area. I believe we deserve answers, and I blog about this while I’m still here, still have housing, still have some health left. The women I link to also do this.

Again, as to abuse — What’s your Excuse for (your SILENCE about) Abuse?

I have and will continue to post some unpleasant $$ figures as to the nationwide economic cost of not understanding “the name of the game” in these fields, and attributing pure motives to every one who has a smooth speech. Which, I don’t think I do, but I try to get facts out, and assemble them in reasonable fashion, if not always in grammatically complete sentences.

Excuse #2: I’ll let Wikipedia (so to speak) speak to this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copy_editing

OVERVIEW

The “Five Cs” ^[1] summarize the copy editor’s job: make the copy (i) clear, (ii) correct, (iii) concise, (iv) comprehensible, and (v) consistent; that is: make it say what it means, and mean what it says. Typically, copy editing involves correcting spelling, punctuation, grammar,mathematics,^[2] terminology/jargon and semantics; ensuring that the typescript adheres to the publisher’s house style; and addingheadlines and standardized headers, footers, etc.^[2]

The copy editor is expected to ensure that the text flows, that it is sensible, fair, and accurate, and that it will provoke no legal problems for the publisher.^[2] Newspaper copy editors are sometimes responsible for selecting which news agency‘s wire copy the newspaper will use and for rewriting it in accordance with house style. Often, the copy editor is the only person, other than the author , to read an entire text before publication. Newspaper managing editors regard copy editors as the newspaper’s last line of accurate defense.

Hence, EXCUSE #2: I’m the author, not “other than the author.”

At least, I’m an “author” in a loose sense of the word.

I assemble, react (in print), cut and paste, and think about it. Aloud. This is NOT “copy editing.” They are entirely different processes, and for a good reason.

A copy editor may abridge a text, by “cutting” and “trimming” it, to reduce its length to fit publishing or broadcasting limits or to improve its meaning.^[1]

There is no universal form for the job or job title; it is often written as one word (copyedit)^[1] or with a hyphen (copy-edit); the hyphenated form is especially common in the UK. Similarly, the term copy editor may be spelled either as one word, two words, or as a hyphenated compound term. (And if you’re paying attention, I intentionally used all three forms in my title to make this point).

Copy editing is done prior to the work of proofreaders, who handle documents before final publication.^[1]

(NOR DO I PROOFREAD, ENOUGH):

Under Wikipedia “Author”:

“According to the studies of James Curran, the system of shared values among editors in Britain has generated a pressure among authors to write to fit the editors’ expectations, removing the focus from the reader-audience and putting a strain on the relationship between authors and editors and on writing as a social act.

I am writing as a social act, and there is a very strained relationship between the author and editor parts; they are not happy yet. However I have made a deliberate decision to go with the first, and relegate the “editor” to a back seat. This may seem backwards, but relates to how I deal with post-traumatic stress issues on some of these topics, and the “fear of speaking” issue. (OR, it may be my way of rebelling against the “perfectionism” tendency). Sometimes it has to come out nonstop, and there isn’t enough time or emotional energy left to go back and revise.

When I do, instead, more reflection and more writing gets in there. Perhaps hearing about the process may help people who haven’t been through certain kinds of trauma understand a bit about some who have.

In my case, i am still mastering “bloggery,” and I am alleviating (by this disclaimer) with the copy editing training I have, and trained, and fairly accurate eye I have when I’m NOT cutting, pasting (or trying to) and trying to figure out which font or margin changes will actually stick.

The “accuracy” and with to avoid public embarrassment thing crawls up my back especially when I, for example as I just noticed today (8-29-09), I caught someone else’s Freudian slip/typo (“simulate conversation” where clearly “sTimulate” conversation was meant. IN these fields, “simulating” conversation, dialogue and openness, mediation, negotiation, and conciliation is blatantly rampant. Never get caught SIMULATING dialogue when you wish to be seen as STIMULATING it!

But further down, regarding a missing foster child case which has now become a homicide INVESTIGATION, in, from my own fingers and brain, in slipped the word “visitation” (topic of today’s post, in part). These word-switches (“hear” for here, or “know” for “no”, etc.) were much more common after the event of the child-stealing than beforehand. I am a crack typist (over 100wpm) and used to be known for a sharp eye for grammar; I have worked in accounting and legal fields also, where accuracy counts. There are definitely different parts of the brain in operation now, to do the same tasks. Sometimes they jump tracks temporarily, I guess. Never used to do that so much.

So, while no author in the general sense, I am in this sense:

Wages

There are no normal wages for authors. The pay for authors is normally based on provisions after standard contracts with companies.

[edit]

> – > – > – >

I have some ideas, but am not interested in fully analyzing why I write, any more than I formerly questioned why I played piano and sang, or why I ate and slept.

There are pros(e) and con (artists) to the habit.

Maybe I’m half hunter by nature, and like to bring home what I caught, like a cat brings home half-alive, half-in-shock mouse. The point isn’t the trophy, but what a great hunter the cat was.

However, this blog is NOT just for the act of blogging or the act of seeking. I have indeed been on a personal hunt to explain WHAT’S UP? with this venue? After i read the literature on “what’s up with the venue” I began looking at the organizations PUBLISHING the literature and pronouncing what’s up with this venue. They are better funded than almost any family court litigant ever will be.

That’s where the real story is. The real story is in what is NOT being talked about it. I talk about it, and I request public action on the information, in the form of taking this information, following up, and being highly motivated to know that this is affecting YOUR life, this particular kind of government waste and lack of accountability as to HOW its funds are being spent.

Regarding the PTSD factor – – these are difficult topics and truths to put out there. They are also, many, personal. Putting together a narrative can be healing, but done wrong, it can also re-traumatize. Hence, I fear that what you see hear is what you GOT. Get it?

One more thing about perfectionism: This also runs in my family line, and I do know (at least so is the family lore) my father watched HIS mother being beat by HIS father; it appears to be what they did back when in many cultures. He was if nothing perfectionist (in his field) and a researcher, creative thinker. I am beginning to understand why, and I happen to know that THIS applies to at least one of my two offspring.

Quote is cited on today’s post. (Note the 1980s dates of the cites)

In my opinion, it would be better, in most cases, for the children of homes where there has been domestic violence not to be in the custody of the abusive parent at all. In many cases it is even advisable that visitation be limited to controlled situations, such as under a therapist’s supervision during a therapy session, unless the batterer has been in batterer’s treatment and demonstrated that he has changed significantly in specific ways.

Caveat. Batterers can often “perform” well for an hour or two, and have been documented doing well in class, but outside class, and sometimes shortly AFTER, murdering. On this basis, I challenge that assertion, it begs the question of demonstrating what, how, for how long, and to whom. Like religious “repentance” it can be very much faked. My personal measure was compliance with court orders: the ability to TAKE an order rather than, when it came to me, the ex-wife, only ISSUING one. What the courts saw as my obstinancy, possibly, I (accurately, I assert) saw as my VERY healthy need for boundaries, and asserting them. One thing family law tends to do (for the uninitiated, if there are still some of these around) is break down personal boundaries, and then judge the person with the broken fences harshly. In a given case, this will be one parent OR the other, not both, and typically it is the female one.

“Merely” observing ones father abuse ones mother is in itself damaging to children. My clinical experience is consistent with the research literature which shows that children who witness their father beat their mother exhibit significantly greater psychological and psychosomatic problems than children from homes without violence (Roy, 1988). Witnessing abuse is more damaging in many ways than actually being abused, and having both happen is very damaging (Goodman and Rosenberg, 1987).

For the past few years — actually several years — I have had to witness from afar things that I knew to be damaging to my daughters, and was unable to do anything about this. I REMEMBER being physically assaulted, traumatized, and a lot more, and I will concur, although I’d surely not want to repeat the experience, this DOES feel horrible. It’s an internal wound hard to get at except by amputating something natural and innate, which is to care how one’s kids are doing, and do something to make sure they are thriving, and most specifically (in my case) headed in a good direction in life, and among people with decent values, and I’m not talking conservative or progressive, I’m talking, respectful of women and respecting the law, and not participating in “dissing” or hurting another parent. Forcing (minors in particular) to do this is part of a gang initiation, it’s like a ritual hazing, to prove membership. I’ve seen the lower middle class version of this, enabled by people who ought to know better, based on the self-assertions. yes, in short, it hurts, adults and children alike, but children moreso in the long run, I feel, because they have more lifespan ahead of them.

Studies show that a high percentage (as high as 55%) of fathers who abuse their wives also abuse their children (Walker and Edwall, 1987). In my experience, if one includes emotional abuses such as being hypercritical, yelling and being cruelly sarcastic, the percentage is much higher.

I was the target of this (as well as blows and choke-holds, throws, kicks, slaps, etc.) during marriage. I NEVER saw physical violence by my father towards my mother (and have in recent years asked, and was said, no it did not happen), and although he was highly critical of me, he was not cruelly sarcastic. I saw it as part of his professional mind (scientific). However, he WAS cruelly sarcastic and critical of my mother, which I believe did affect my sense of integrity as a young woman. I woke up to them arguing. We became a family that didn’t talk about important things, and as the youngest (in such families, everyone has an assigned role), and when siblings left home and before it, I became the “peacekeeper” too often. I disappeared into my own world, happily enough, until I became hungry for something approaching true and relationships/friendships, as I matured. I found these in music and writing, books, etc.

This cruel sarcasm, in the family realm, has been directed at me in my late middle age by this family of origin. I think it is possibly in order to preserve a sense of “family” in that our father is gone, suddenly, and decades ago. I do not think they are as comfortable with their worldviews, and a challenge to them seems a challenge to the core, somehow.

OR, it could just be about money and basic human passions, unrestrained by empathy or concern for the long-range impact. I don’t know, I know it apparently “works” for them and not for me to punish outsiders, namely, those who challenge their authority to usurp authority, which happens to be MY definition of family violence, or abuse, to start with!

I became a teacher professionally, and know that one must KNOW who one is teaching, and that the sarcasm doesn’t motivate for long, the put-down, the cruelty. Does it? Did this work, as a whole and entire person, would you say for, for example, Michael Jackson? He did amazing things. Was it a good life? Well, he didn’t see his kids grow up… He was on medication to survive. . .. Amazing music or no amazing music, and it was.

The damage that children suffer is highly variable, with symptoms ranging from aggressive acting out to extreme shyness and withdrawal, or from total school failure to compulsive school performance. The best way to summarize all the symptoms despite their variety is to say that they resemble what children who suffer other trauma exhibit, and could be seen as a version of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (Walker and Edwall, 1987).

As I reflect on my own childhood, and recall some diary entries I had as to my daughters’ (plural) behavior immediately post-incident, I noticed both aspects. They witnessed some horrible stuff, and when they are of age (and if interested), I will show them the entries, of how these little girls, after an incident would try to “distract” their Dad, by doing some super-feat for their age, or planning something to reconcile us. I am talking, under 5 years old, BOTH of them.

I suspect that my father realized (being without a man in the home) he had to grow up and perform REAL fast, and he sure did. He also drank heavily, tried to handle it later in his work life, a work life that was full of awards and financial rewards too, well-decorated, well-acknowledged. What’s more, he married a number of times (although only to our mother til I was out of the home), and died suddenly shortly after retirement, the circumstances of which I still (quite honestly) have significant questions about.

Both of my daughters are supremely smart and intelligent (I know this), but one was chosen as super-performer, and the other one, after a period (early on) of trying to differentiate herself, even saying as of Kindergarten, “I hate reading” (but became a very competent, and observant reader close to this time), and another time blowing things off, apparently. I tried to accommodate this through the public schools and was soundly punished for NOT having them both in the same format of school, even though I neither respected it (for either girl) nor did it work for them, or our family unit, nor did the idea for it even originate from either Dad or Mom at the time. it was one of those outside “interventions” by “helpers” whose motives are not what they claimed to be. At all.

Then when I finally put them BOTH in the same school, was truly a compromise between my ex’s position (or, his ostensible position, i should say), which might have made someone happy, they were abducted out of it and put, at the time into a strange school system in a new city, each girl in a different school. So “go figure” the rationale behind that.

And so, since this was a post about “copy editing,” about FORM not CONTENT, I will say this content is still relevant. And this is as good an introduction to why I’m blogging here as any:

Equally serious is the long term effect of domestic violence – intergenerational transmission.

I rest my case and my disclaimer.

FYI, the longwinded style, and associative, full-thinking (one hopes) that is natural to me, may be unnatural to others. If you (reader) do not understand how or why this happens, please read up on some writings regarding trauma. The constant interruption of thought is a means of control and setting off balance. I’m completely aware of it. I have had music, which really worked for me, unnaturally deleted from my life along with the children. At a gut level, and through behavioral conditioning (NOT accidental in either marriage or divorce, I assert — unless it was simply generalized narcissism, but based on things I’ve heard and read from my ex, No, it wasn’t. It was intentional to target music. I KNOW that what I got from it threatened this man. Not just the income, but the personal validation and emotional support. It’s hard to dominate someone who is having fun in music! Regularly! (and getting paid for it, and connecting with people through it). For one the existence of those relationships counters the character-smashing that is necessary to “win” in family court and necessary to “win” in abuse, which is in part about winning, anyhow. Period.

So part of what a mind does is healing by speaking, and by connecting thoughts together. I call it “hyper-focus” — although as a musician at the piano, I could most certainly practice and focus for hours (why not?), this is different. It’s like a going “under water” until the thought is complete, and a sense of rising to the surface as it approaches what MY sensibility calls completion. I suppose that’s somewhat meditative. I know that it helped me during the most traumatic months (years) leading up to the abduction, and part of this was having AN audience, not just writing “myself.” Hence, a longwinded (but hopefully informative, and sometimes at least entertaining or interesting)

B L O G. It is my ‘attuned” relationship with myself, and for now, will do. I also wish to leave a bit of a track record (if you read more, you’ll realizing stalking has been an ongoing concern, and I have not reconciled myself either to lifelong economic or emotional abuse by family members, or never seeing a daughter while courts and truth both exist! if not in the same place, at least separately. I call this “hyperfocus,” and while there are drawbacks, in some senses also, it works for me.

So, remind me to hire a copyeditor, once I myself get some income. . . . While the best of art has a SENSE of artlessness about it, THIS stuff is indeed, for the most part “thrown up” (an awkward term, I admit!) on wordpress, not for its art, and I’ll just try to pick up a little artifice along the way, but it makes me very uncomfortable.

Note. I do not know my ex’s mother too well (like our family, by “lore” more than actual face time or communications. Some, but not much since we split, which I do out of respect for her). She had a rough marriage, and one thing I noted in the few letters that got through was that the first person singular was absent. Although narrating what she did, she began with the verb, and omitted the “I.” Maybe she was another “amazing, disappearing, virtually invisible mother” like the noun I blog about sometimes; mothers have become “WOMEN” (There is an office of Violence against WOMEN, but when it comes to MEN, there is a major web section on “FATHERHOOD.” On “marriage” on “children” and on “families” (as to vocabulary). As mothers, we are possibly becoming a vestigial function in society, only kept around (for now) for the biological production of infants, for scapegoats (every religion needs a scapegoat, right?) and to give social status to some man: He is a FATHER, he has a FAMILY, and he is head of the HOUSEHOLD (religious version). If not much else in life.

SPEAKING of “FLOW” (I was, really!), along with hunting and gathering, or should I say (web) surfing, how does this name FLOW off your tongue?

“Csikszentmihalyi“

Mine either, and I found this following a craigslist ad, to which my reaction was, Is there NO area of life which is not a market niche?

And I found, probably not. I hope we have SOME private lives left within the next three decades, but I am skeptical how many of us in the middle ranges of society will be able. Anyhow Wikipedia to the rescue (if for phonetic pronunciation here):

Personal background

He received his B.A. in 1960 and his Ph.D. in 1965, both from the University of Chicago.

He is the father of MIT Media Lab associate professor Christopher Csikszentmihalyi and University of California – Berkeley^[4] professor of philosophical and religious traditions ofChina and East Asia, Mark Csikszentmihalyi.

{{His son is one REALLY smart dude too, so perhaps we should listen up!

And, sit at his feet to be taught, too!**}}

[edit]Flow

Main article: Flow (psychology)

Mental state in terms of challenge level and skill level. Clickable.^[5]

In his seminal work, ‘Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience’, Csíkszentmihályi outlines his theory that people are most happy when they are in a state of flow— a state of concentration or complete absorption with the activity at hand and the situation. The idea of flow is identical to the feeling of being in the zone or in the groove. The flow state is an optimal state of intrinsic motivation, where the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing. This is a feeling everyone has at times, characterized by a feeling of great absorption, engagement, fulfillment, and skill—and during which temporal concerns (time, food, ego-self, etc.) are typically ignored.^[6]

In an interview with Wired magazine, Csíkszentmihályi described flow as “being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost.”^[7]

To achieve a flow state, a balance must be struck between the challenge of the task and the skill of the performer. If the task is too easy or too difficult, flow cannot occur. Both skill level and challenge level must be matched and high; if skill and challenge are low and matched, then apathy results.^[5]

The flow state also implies a kind of focused attention, and indeed, it has been noted that mindfulness meditation, yoga, and martial arts seem to improve a person’s capacity for flow. Among other benefits, all of these activities train and improve attention.

In short, flow could be described as a state where attention, motivation, and the situation meet, resulting in a kind of productive harmony or feedback.

Sorry to inject this (hey, not really — it’s my blog), but to a mother this might be nature (we give birth, remember?), or a musician, but to a scientist, it’s a field of expertise. These are very elementary (and true) observations!

Did I say, teacher?

QUESTION: Am I the only person here that thinks an article on “FLOW” with a Square Graphic with uniform, segmented, labeled dissections of it seems a little, well, Rigid?

Should it be called “Flow, Dissected”?

What can’t the same people that can discuss, with engaging intelligence, the difference between particle and wave theory, not figure out that trying to dissect and label humanity is going to INTERFERE with the same humanity! For one, the thumb is on the scale, and even a child in “supervised visitation” knows that SOMETHING is up, like, a performance. And perform, they are likely to. The only thing that apparently truly FLOWS in such scenarios, is cash, in the form of grants, to analyze, dissect and (another endless stream) report on it. To observe anything in some depth, one needs at LEAST two points of view, and one I recommend is “IMMERSION” (INside) and another “SPECTATOR” (outside). I do this in music. There’s theory, and then “applied” studies. Moreover, there’s some differences between rehearsal and performance, as any musician knows. And the performance IS affected, to a degree, by (a) venue (resonance of the room) and (b) resonacne is sometimes dulled by a full room of bodies. Physically, it changes the resonance for the room. Walls can be hard, and sound waves bounce off it (as I would characterize My interaction with the mediator) or they can be soft, warm, and fuzzily receptive, as too many custody evaluators are with one parent but not the other.

If we can figure this out in music, why cannot a family law system figure it out?

I believe the system was well-designed to do what it is, at this moment in fact doing, and that is interrupt lives, divert cash (FLOW) and create an artificial, and at this point, society-wide source of trauma, which then will generate and justify ever more intrusive monitoring, measuring, calculating and declaring behaviors on the part of the social scientist and utopia-mongers. And I predict that what’s left of individuality in human beings aware of their humanity, and perhaps seeking to be HEARD, erupt in whatever manner it may be. I believe that at some level of policy making, surely (I believe, surely) someone realizes what direction its heading, and is quite OK with that direction, so long as they — and their progeny and cronies — are riding the wave.

In looking at more ancient literature, the analogy of people as water, and final Armageddon, etc., (jihad, etc.) is expected and predicted. I do not believe the Bible calls it honorable, however, but it does predict this. I would say that’s possibly an accurate reading of human nature, given past and future. Ethnic cleansing is not exactly a new concept, but what I’m concerned about is the commmunal cleansing of ETHICS, not ETHNICITIES so much. Although we can see that trend, too.

(I never DO know when to quit, sometimes. . .. . )

AS to Institutions that Specialize in Uncertainty and Flow-Disruptions, I could (but won’t, here) name three signficant institutions in the U.S.A. (home of the largest per-capita incarceration rate in the W-O-R-L-D. This is after the fall of the Berlin wall, too!) who teach authority by interrupting flow. That is the primary characteristic. OK, I’ll tell you one, because I’ve experienced it:

Law Enforcement.

Here’s another:

Public School (bells, periods, whistles, lockdowns, fire drills, etc.) It’s training, folks!!

Basically, any dominator institution will use some of this. The question is, how much?

When people reach a certain level of adulthood, they should have a level of discipline to at least ONE thing (trade, profession, pasion) or another, and be able to transfer discipline in it to discipline in something else. Perhaps we should talk about the “infantilizing of America,” I don’t know. Another topic, hey?

The fact is, biochemistry is related to emotions is related to one’s sense of place in this world. We DO difffer, and resonate to different frequencies. You want total unity and uniformity? Nationwide? There IS a way to get it. . . . at a cost, a human cost, and we are I am afraid headed into either this direction, or a real protest against heading in this direction:

(Found through Google Images search on “GooseStep”, and 3 times I’ve tried to paste the link. However, I’ll still close with notes from the source of this photo, apparently a narrative from a man’s 1969 visit to the Berlin Wall. You will probably find it again:

(Entry was Aug 1 2006)

A 1969 STROLL INTO COMMUNIST EAST BERLIN

October 7, 1969. I had just finished a photo assignment in Austria and visited a friend near Frankfurt. Now I wanted to see what Berlin, isolated well behind the Iron Curtain, was like.

People from all the Communist nations, including China, were doing their thing there. Folk dancing, music, demonstrations of solidarity, and just plain admiring this brave new world of the workers. Several stands in the side streets sold sausages and beer, both of which were pretty good and quite cheap.

As the day wore on I got hungry, and waited in line at the Café Moscau, which featured Russian food. Being alone, I was paired up with what might have been a general in the Russian army, or a doorman, in any case a guy in uniform covered with gold braid and medals. I ordered Beef Stroganoff, which was delicious.

There was a changing-of-the-guard ceremony at the Neue Wache, an old Prussian guardhouse now rich in propaganda value with its eternal flame for the victims of fascism. The soldiers there did a great goosestep.

Let’s all seek a better way, eh?

Anyhow, I ain’t copyediting, I’m thinking aloud, on-line.

Have a nice day. Don’t forget the blogroll.

The difference between my on-line monologues and what I experienced in abuse, and what my kids watched growing up, and what I suspect may or may not have “driven” my ex to expose us to (hours-long manic personal talks, and I DO mean, hours at a time, and afterwards he’d be relieved, and I’d be totally drained and sometimes emotionally dysfunctional, as though his “burden” had been deposited, by direct, face to face injection, into my brain. I would lose all desire to do whatever it was I had just then been doing, typically housework, or getting ready to work, or paperwork. This is NOT what a spouse is for! However, my spouse didn’t write, and apparently this was what I was for, an “ear.” Up to a point it’s OK, beyond that point, it’s using the other person. We were beyond this point shortly after the children were born, when I truly did have other things I needed to do, and they needed from me. We had, hence, a real roller-coaster relationship, the entire household.

Oh yes — the rest of that sentence, at least as to a main verb and object:

. . . . . The difference between an on-line monologue and an (in your face lecture) is that listening is optional.

Now, as to family law venue — there are points at which fighting that battle is not really optional, or will come to any closure before either the energy is totally expended (or funds — my current situation, and still not “resolution” or closure) – – or, it will explode in some manner. Neither is acceptable.

Anyhow, I suggest you exercise the website-exit option if you got this far, and perhaps have your head examined as to why you did!

(Just kidding!)

Unsure how? Look for the closest interactive (e)X, typically lurking in a top right corner, slightly off-the screen, like a spider in a room with high ceilings. (Just kidding).

Click on it and see what happens.

Or don’t. After all, it’s OPTIONal!

(Like so-called “mediation” should be, but that’s another topic)

There are obviously downsides of not having a live audience, with gongs, or tomatoes. I miss singing! . . . . . .

(Not that performances ever ended in that manner! Sometimes people stood afterwards, but it wasn’t too throw tomatoes!)

Written by Let's Get Honest|She Looks It Up

August 29, 2009 at 7:08 pm

Posted in compulsory schooling, Designer Families, History of Family Court, Vocabulary Lessons, Who's Who (bio snapshots)

Tagged with Motherhood, obfuscation, social commentary, Studying Humans

“Wife Abuse and Custody and Visitation by the Abuser” –A Man Speaks from the Past (1989).

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This voice from the past (1989 to 2009 = 20 years!) —

is pretty well drowned out by “the Duluth Model,” and the millions of $$ of grants, funds, and now even new professions springing up, all to help avoid what I’d call THIS common sense. I guess I will have to show. This will deal with the issue of Supervised Visitation: The question nowadays is how to make it safe, etc. The question of why ANY visitation with such violence, scarcely gets raised again.

Wife Abuse and Child Custody and Visitation by the Abuser

by Kendall Segel-Evans

originally published:
ENDING MEN’S VIOLENCE NEWSLETTER, Fall, 1989

I recently read the National Organization for Changing Men’s statement on child custody, and the position taken that, in general, sole custody by the previously most involved parent is preferable to joint custody. I would like to elaborate on this position for families where there has been violence between parents (i.e. woman-abuse). The following includes the main points of a deposition I was asked to provide to a lawyer for the mother in a child custody case. I do not believe this is the last or best word on the subject, {{now THAT’s a rare humility in the field!}} but I hope that it will s(t)imulate useful dialogue** about the effects on children of wife-abuse and the treatment of wife-abusers. I also wish to further discussion on the issue of how we are going to truly end men’s violence. *** Clearly, I believe that the treatment of wife-abusers should not only be held accountable to the partner victim/survivors, but also to the children, and to the next generation.

**{{WAS THAT A FREUDIAN SLIP IN THE ORIGINAL?? “simulate” for “stimulate”??}} . . .

***

I’ve noticed that the professionals are more likely to have the “social transformation” goal, while typically women leaving abuse, and specifically MOTHERS leaving abuse, have a more short-term goal, namely LEAVING abuse and providing safety and good things, including good values, safety, education and role models — for their CHILDREN. This is a significant difference, and with different goals come different means to reach that goal. Moreover, as women leaving abuse, we have a ZERO tolerance for situations that might lead to, well, death. Women have been killed around visitation centers, which is a dirty little secret. Another one is that some supervisors are themselves abusive, or “on the take” and so forth. Again, the professionals have spoken to this issue — but not changed it. (For more info see nafcj.net). Are all? No. But why even risk it?

WHY place both children and the nonabusive parent at any sort of risk whatsoever, for any reason? For one, good grief, what about PTSD? A child has witnessed abuse or been abused. Therefore, expose them to the abuser. REGULARLY, and in a performance situation. A mother has been abused or her child. Therefore, force her — and/or her children — to see their father, regularly and in front of others who will “judge.” AND they do (see “Karen Oehme”). The model lacks integrity, to my mind. No matter, it has government backing, and LOTS of it.

SO this post is a “blast from the past.” I’ve read the literature a LOT, I assure you; you don’t hear this person’s name a lot. Too much common sense. And yet he is in the marriage field, and attaches a Bibliography like anyone else:

Kendall Segel-Evans, M.A. Marriage, Family and Child Counselor 4/15/1989

He recommends not taking chances. Such types of recommendations are not the stuff publication, conferences, and promotions are made out of. No new building needs be built for this recommendation. It’s just too dang sensible.

Reminds me of Jack Straton’s similar work, a while back, here below:

1992

What About the Kids? Custody and Visitation Decisions in Families with a History of Violence

National Training Project of the Duluth Domestic Abuse Project – Thursday, October 8, 1992, Duluth, Minnesota

from the Journal of the Task Group on Child Custody Issues*

of the National Organization for Men Against Sexism

Volume 5, Number 1, Spring1993 (Fourth Edition, 2001)

c/o University Studies, Portland State University, Portland, OR, 97207-0751

503-725-5844, 503-725-5977 (FAX) , straton@pdx.edu

What is Fair for Children of Abusive Men?

by Jack C. Straton, Ph.D.

{Let’s GetHonest speaking….}} Reviewing this document years, and years after baptism by a dissolution/custody suit cold-shock immersion in to the language and lore of Family Court, resulting in a return to Food Stamps, but no return of my missing children!, but I HAVE (there’s always a silver lining) perhaps returned closer to placing my hope in things eternal more than things local! (I’m talking Jesus Christ for those who don’t catch the reference), I have a different opinion, not on its CONTENTS but on its CONTEXT, as follows, re::

I want to express my deep gratitude to Ellen Pence, Madeline Dupre, Jim Soderberg and the others from the Duluth Domestic Abuse Intervention Project for giving me this opportunity to speak with you. The State of Minnesota should be proud that, quite literally, the world looks to this program for guidance on understanding and ending domestic violence. I also want to acknowledge how much I continually learn from Barbara Hart, of the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

I will first critically examine the criterion at the base of all custody laws today “What is in the best interests of the children?” I will the talk about children’s choice in these matters. Then I will examine the actual effects of wife-battering on children, and develop an alternative paradigm for custody based on those effects. From this I will examine the question, “Is it ever appropriate to ever give a batterer custody of a child?” (emphasis mine…)

{{PLEASE PARDON THIS INTERJECTION! This article indeed does that, and convincingly.

LINK: DAIP Grants rec’d 2000-2009 (scroll down to bar chart)

(hint: over $4.5 million)

LINK: Grants rec’d by DAIp Parent organization, “Minnesota Program Development, Inc.“

(hint: Over $25 million, and NOT including some of its sub-groups, which apparently get their own grants, too).

(the bottom half of logo proclaims” home of the duluth Model, Social Change to End violence Against Women”)

)

Visitation Center

The Duluth Family Visitation Center opened in 1989. Our mission is to provide a safe place where children can build and maintain positive relationships with their parents. The Visitation Center offers support for victims of domestic violence and their children as well as supervised visitation, monitored visitation, and monitored exchange services to families affected by domestic violence.

(See the nice picture??)->_>_>_>_>

The Center provides a variety of children’s books, games and videotapes as well as beverages and snacks for children and parents to help provide a comfortable and nurturing environment where parents can work on building and strengthening their relationship with their child which so often is damaged by violence in the home.

The Center also collaborates with many other community agencies and accepts referrals from the courts and social services. {{NOw you understand the BUSINESS model…}} Currently we serve approximately 120 families and conduct over 4000 visits and exchanges per year at minimal cost to families.

And I do mean BUSINESS model:

The database simplifies the logistical work of coordinating a Visitation Center and reduces the time to prepare quarterly reports for funders.

Download sample report here

Purchase the visitation center database ($350.00) by visiting our online catalog

Beyond the pure financial collateral, there is also the professional collateral (prestige) and of course feeding much, much much more personal data into databases for further” research and demonstration” projects on how to — end violence against women.

I question why so few have questioned this model. Probably because of the powers behind it, and because those who have been affected by it are often destitute and experiencing PTSD. BY THE WAY — I HAD HEARD OF THIS AND ASKED FOR IT IN MY CASE, AND WAS FLATLY DENIED because there was no “money” for it. In other words, I, the mother, could not pay for it (already on the record) and he the father (being so far arrears in child support) obviously could not. however, when the father asked for — by refusing to acknowledge the court had ordered something different — ZERO contact, it took less than a few months to give this to him, and only one year (as opposed to the years previous I had sought actively seeking help, as single mother, and while personally having to negotiate my own safety, on a near-weekly basis) to retroactively attribute custody and modify the arrears owed ME as the caretaker of our daughters, and which didn’t come to them while living here — down to insignificant and unenforceable payments. Yet our state receives grants to facilitate access by the noncustodial parent. When I became one, I could not access them, either. go figure.

JACK didn’t recommend this model, although he was apparently asked to speak here. BUT – – His voice, too, has been ignored — MOST chiefly by the Duluth “Domestic Abuse Intervention Project” itself, apparently. This paradigm, I simply didn‘t find it once in operation — ever — anywhere — experientially. Our society simply does not accept this yet. And, FYI, there is a LOT of money in this venue bent on “transformational language” and “therapeutic jurisprudence.” Doing this is considered in many circles “good,” and not surprisingly, because many of our school systems share the same premise, they are “values transformation centers” and succeeding well at this, apparently.

Nor have I found someone who accepts this No-Visitation where there’s been Violence paradigm. (And I talk to Dads, not just Moms, and I research, a LOT, on–line. I have been in circles which don‘t believe women should speak, literally, and I have lived in which men did not confront violence towards “one of their own” by even TELLING the man to stop it! Let alone, intervening themselves in any manner to stop it. Ever since I finally took it upon myself to get someone from outside these circles to indeed stop it, I have been exposed, through the family law venue (and others) to a virtual nonstop “litany” of “just get over it” as if either the lethality risk, the economic abuse, the stalkings, and the implicit threat to escalate were somehow “over” in my case. My experience, lots of it, showed the precise opposite. Any attempt at independence was countered. this got tiring for such a person, and others were found and incited to participate in communal denial, a sort of catharctic self–cleansing ritual, I suppose.

AGAIN, I myself didn’t share this paradigm initially. However, this was because I had been enduring years of this type of threat/intimidation/etc. behavior and attempting — myself — to ‘reason” with this man, after it became clear — and from the OUTSET — that saying “no” or “Stop!” was likely to result in physical assault, or worse, and my friends, there IS a “worse.” Now, I have some perspective: 10 years living with a batterer, 10 years of attempting to separate from one. My perspective has changed, after i watched the reactions of society to my assertion of my right to say NO! and ENOUGH! I gave ENOUGH! in the “let’s negotiate” process, and shouldn’t have ever entered into it or been encouraged to. These were the PRIME working years of an intelligent, responsible, and law-abiding woman and mother. Now, I would like some change to happen. i would like the truth of the situation OUT, and I am taking it (obviously) to the blogosphere, and my local Congressperson, AND up the chain, as are others. The truth of the situation is that this paradigm that Jack and Kendall discuss, was not taken seriously by their colleagues then, nor was it ever likely to be. Like him, I have immense respect for Barbara J. Hart (can anyone say “lethality risk assessment”?) But — today or tomorrow, probably — I am about to post the $$ figures of some of these “helping” groups and ask — where’s the help? Moreover, show us the books! I will show the grants, at least from the sources I have. But what I want to see is expenditures, processes, and evaluation tools. I want to see DOCUMENTED fewer homicides, suicides, infanticides, child-kidnappings, and wasted years in the family law system. And if these are not being documented, then what was all the hub-bub about?

IN this “paradigm” all “fallout” from abuse either didn‘t exist (that‘s the “fantasy world” Straton refers to, I suppose) or was exclusively my responsibility to fix, as the mother. However, when I then sought to address this in my own manner, I was again given marching orders, a drumbeat of 3-word myths, and told to get in line. I didn‘t. Consequently, two adolescent girls were removed from my custody and replaced in the care of the man they grew up witnessing threaten, impoverish, assault, abuse animals, deprive of access to transportation and ffinances that a “normal” family would not do, even when I worked at times, and be subjected to repeated lectures on how to behave – – sometimes even on a stool!.

Therefore, as seemingly re–assuring, or validating as these talks may be, that I refer to today, they are most definitely the “minority opinion” in this field. They show me I am not alone in my perspective at what‘s sensible and what‘s not, but these premises were never moved into practice.

There‘s reasons they were not, and THAT should be the topic of a “responsible citizen” male or female, parent or not, in this country. WHY they were not is a public issue, not a “domestic dispute.” The topic of this issues is not just “where are my children?” but “where are my taxes going? as well as “what kind of leaders is this next generation, if we get that far, going to consist of? children accustomed to trauma, abuse, and participating in the cycle themselves?

I suspect the answer, at this point, MIGHT be “YES” but I am not yet resigned to the fatalistic, fundamentalist “I‘m not of this world” passivity when it comes to social justice. I must speak up!

STRATON, Ph.D., Ct’d…..

In the process, I am going to talk today about the effects of male power and control over children, not about parental power and control. I know that it is popular these days to de-gender family conflict, to talk about “spouse abuse” and “family violence” rather than “wife beating” and “rape.” I know that we want a society in which men nurture children to the same extent that women do.

I know that fathers and mothers should both be capable parents. But if you ask “What about the kids?” I want to give you a serious answer. I cannot seriously entertain the myth that our society really is gender neutral, so to consider “What about the kids?” while pretending such neutrality is to engage in denial and cognitive dissonance. I cannot hope to arrive at an answer that will positively affect reality if my underlying assumptions are based on fantasy.

I would like to say more about the history of these movements (which I am still learning), but readers deserve a break:

Have a nice weekend. Again, I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day.

While this essay is music (the voice of logic, of common sense truth) to my ears, but it’s not a tune many people like these days. Because it actually addresses the impact of role-modeling and personal responsibility upon the next generation.

There are only two places to really put the responsibility: Either on the INDIVIDUAL (which is actually empowering, it acknowledges choice), or on the “THERAPIST” or “SOCIETY AS COLLECTIVE THERAPIST.” Either/or, my friends.

Benefits of putting the responsibility on the INDIVIDUAL. :: If we are indeed EQUAl and ENDOWED with certain UNALIENABLE RIGHTS, then we are also ENDOWED with certain UNALIENABLE RESPONSIBILITIES as to how we exercise them. This leaves a LOT more government time and resources and study, etc., upon maintenance of DUE PROCESS.

It also removes the excuse for killing people, for assault, for rape, for destruction. There IS no excuse. The question comes of up of what about “war”? My answer is, how is what we are seeing now take place towards women attempting to leave abuse, with children, too, not a real war — not a “virtual” war. When there are casualties, that comprises a REAL war.

Moreover, most wars are about ideas to start with. Sometimes they are about basic human lusts couched in more palatable ideas.

SO, check the dogma it’s vitally important, and it’s vitally important also that “foreigners” — people to whom actually facing abuse, having a life on the line, having lost a child, having had to comfort an abused or traumatized child while in trauma onesself — are not to be setting policy. Moreover, those who set policy are not to do so from a particular chip they have on their shoulder, that every one should carry the burden of relieving. And this happens (You can see my chip on the shoulder” here, obviously, but I’m not recommending the undermining of due process in the courts, and re-defining criminal activity as non-criminal. THAT’s Cognitive Dissonance for sure!

(Well, I’d better back out this post fast. Feedback appreciated! My exit takes place Here: XX.

Anything below was added earlier)

This was written Pre-VAWA and Pre-National Fatherhood Inititative, which one theme of this blog has been showing what these cost, and how they attempt to cancel each other out.

Yesterday, I saw a significant DV initiative that was also receiving thousands under “promoting Responsible fatherhood” as well. Same source, different themes entirely. The fatherhood movement has positioned itself as FIRMLY anti-VAWA and in its writings, and in people responding to its writings, says to clearly. Many of them also position themselves as religious, which is true in the WORST (not best) sense of the word, as I understand it. They identify a common enemy, which is feminism, and feminISTS. The prelude to identifying an enemy is attacking it, and this means people. Typically (not always) “feminists” are, my friends, women, and this is who is often getting severely attacked for separating.

The VAWA movement, it has different characteristics, but I do not believe it started out of man-hating. It started out of hating to see beaten up women, and recognizing this has a true social cost.

Both these movements have “morphed” and are now in the higher stratospheres (translation: best-funded organizations) collaborating. In these collaborations they share many things — primarily the design and structure of FAILING TO INCLUDE THOSE MOST DRASTICALLY AFFECTED IN THE COLLABORATIVE PROCESS, and “SALVATION AS A MARKET NICHE.” (in essence). What else is (not) new in the world!

Perhaps THIS ESSAY, THEN (below) can be a reference point from how far off base is society (specifically, government and nonprofits addressing: Violence Against Women, Responsible Fatherhood, and Healthy Marriages — and failing abysmally in terms of the human toll — on all counts, across the nation. (And, world). Perhaps (though I doubt it) some common sense will “redeem” us from all that debt, with so little dent in the problems the debt is incurred to address….Policies get MORE and more pervasive, self-replicating and intrusive, and still we have things like an 11 year old abducted from a bus stop, held captive in a back yard by a (incidentally, MARRIED couple) – – for 18 years — and being used as a personal sex slave and baby-making machine. In a nice suburb, eh? So much for suburbia and “family-oriented” safe communities.

Police missed an opportunity to rescue Jaycee Lee when they visited her captor’s house in 2006 Photo: REUTERS

Officer Ally Jacobs sat in on a meeting with Mr Garrido and his daughters after he requested permission to distribute leaflets on the Berkeley campus of the University of California.

But her suspicions were aroused by the strange behaviour of the two girls – and led to the eventual release of their mother, Jaycee Lee Dugard, after nearly two decades of captivity.

She said Mr Garrido arrived with the girls, aged 11 and 15, who stared at their father “like God” during the meeting. “They had this weird look in their eyes, like brainwashed zombies,” she said.

She spoke out as police said that Mr Garrido’s home has been searched for evidence of a link to the unsolved murders of several prostitutes in the early 1990s, and as Garrido, 58, and his wife, Nancy, 54, denied charges of kidnapping, rape and false imprisonment in connection with Miss Dugard’s disappearance at their first court appearance.

When Officer Jacobs asked the younger girl about a bruise near her eye, the 11-year-old said it was an inoperable birth defect.

(I NOTE: THIS WAS A FEMALE POLICE OFFICER, AND HER JOB ENTAILS NOTICING THINGS THAT DEAL WITH LIFE AND DEATH, POTENTIALLY. HER JOB ENTAILS NOTICING “ANOMALIES.” THERE WAS FACT-CHECKING IN THIS CASE, AND THE FACTS CHECKED RESULTED IN FREEDOM AND DELIVERANCE, THOUGH AFTER 18 YEARS, FOR 3 WOMEN, JAYCEE’S MOTHER, JAYCEE’S STEPFATHER, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, FOR HER — AND HER CHILDREN.

A NICE, MARRIED COUPLE . . . . HAD MR. GARRIDO HAD THE SAME CRIMINAL BACKGROUND, AND ACTUALLY BEEN JAYCEE’S FATHER, IN MY EXPERIENCE, HIS KIDNAPPING WOULD HAVE BEEN OVERLOOKED, AND HIS EX-WIFE SEEKING TO SEE HER DAUGHTER BEEN TOLD (as I was) TO JUST GET ALONG WITH IT, OR GIVE IT UP, NO CONTACT WITH YOUR DAUGHTER BECAUSE YOU JUST CAN’T GET ALONG WITH THIS PARENT. CASE IN POINT: WE WERE GIVEN A COURT ORDER THAT EXPOSED US TO CONTINUAL ACCESS AND ABUSE BY A MAN THAT MY DAUGHTERS HAD WITNESSED ASSAULT THEIR MOTHER. EVENTUALLY, A DRASTIC (and criminal) EVENT HAPPENED on an overnight.

TODAYS’ POSTED ARTICLE, 20 YEARS OLD, QUESTIONS THE POLICY ~ ~ REALLY, THE DOGMA ~ ~ THAT WOULD EVER, EVEN ONCE! ~ ~ALLOW SUCH THINGS TO TAKE PLACE. U.S.A. . . . . .

OR – – – OR – – – – THINGS LIKE THIS ONE, A MISSING FOSTER CHILD TURNED INTO A HOMICIDE VISITATION. AGAIN, HAPPENED IN A VERY YUPPIE NEIGHBORHOOD, ALSO NEAR BERKELEY, CALIFORNIA.

HASSANI CAMPBELL (see my recent post on ‘AMBER ALERTS’ for more photos)

Foster Parents Arrested Over Missing Boy

AP

OAKLAND, Calif. (Aug. 28) – The foster parents who held vigils pleading for the safe return of a missing 5-year-old boy with cerebral palsy have been arrested on suspicion of murder, Oakland police said Friday.

Louis Ross and Jennifer Campbell, who is the boy’s aunt, were being questioned by investigators in the case of Hasanni Campbell, who disappeared on Aug. 10 after Ross said he briefly left the boy outside his car in the parking lot of an upscale Oakland neighborhood shoe store where Campbell works.

REGARDING “THERAPY” FOR BATTERERS:

I think Lundy Bancroft says it well — there are certain indicators that one is wasting one’s time. I’ve read them, and you can too, HERE: I am not quoting Mr. Bancroft because he’s an expert, but because i already experienced what he gave voice to. I had no idea who the author was in picking up the book.

While I am thankful for Mr. Bancroft’s insight and observations (and have featured it elsewhere on this blog), I think that the failure to look OUTSIDE the family court system and INTO the funding behind it, which consists of a powerful government grants system, underwritten in some cases by conflicting actual laws (I refer to “supervised visitation” vs. “Access visitation” premises, which are BOTH funded — in a huge way — and which DIRECTLY oppose each other in fundamental premises, creating chaos — not just “disorder” — but literal “CHAOS” in the courts. Why? Because what’s fought over is power, control, and money. I do not, therefore, agree that training to eradicate deeply held prejudices or myths — when applied to JUDICIAL professionals (court-related) any more than when applied to batterers — is a critical solution. I believe that we should pull the plug on the profit system, which it clearly (my research shows) is. That said, in about 2003, had his not book been there (and this above book) for a point of reference WRITTEN BY A MAN for me emotionally, as I exited another life-changing and mind-numbing session with a mediator, I might be a different woman today.

Women, and mothers, do indeed have instincts. I believe these are God-given, and they are protection-related. Moreover, as a DV survivor, and beyond that, professionally a teacher and musician, it has been my job to pay attention to group dynamics in relationship to a standard! The accuracy of my instincts, and speaking up about them, has been ignored in the courtroom. This told me something about family courts, when I accurately predicted a child-snatch, and was shouted down in advance AND afterwards about the same matter.

Two Female Officers (above) accurately noticed, reported — and because they were cops, apparently, and because this was NOT a family law venue, they were not a litigating parent — they were HEARD and lives were saved.

In the Jaycee Dugard case (above), I heard on TV that a woman (neighbor) HAD called 911, saying this man was psychotic, she was very disturbed. Was her call not heard because she was female? I watched Sheriff Rupf apologize on TV that their county law enforcement had “missed it” in this case.

Our current administration has a lot of TALK, but very little RESPECT for mothers in general. Our pro-active protective and active involvement in our children’s lives is viewed with suspicion after separating from their father in particular after marriage. . . . The fact is, I believe, our involvement is a perceived threat to a child-care-based, employee-driven, dependent-family-substrate economy. (which is not today’s topic).

These instincts are not in operation all the time, and along with Phyllis Chesler (Dr.), I acknowledge fully “Woman’s Inhumanity to Woman” exists, and is horrific. And some men (I have known them) notice more than some women. This is also called “CARING.” Such men are also sometimes castigated as “feminine” by fellow-men, and deal with this in whatever manner they choose to.

However, I take a look at who are some of the most vehement women I personally have had to deal with (not including certain judges, whose behavior cannot be logically accounted for somewhere other than financial reward, which I WILL be finding one of these days, and I am not the only person who has had this happen, same judges), I can see where either their childhood was severely messed up, OR, they never got to have children themselves. Some key component of the logic system (the part that doesn’t acknowledge court orders!) is out of commission, and when confronted on this, reacts in a retaliatory manner as if the threat were personal, when the statement was, I want court orders respected! I have already demonstrated the ability to respect court orders I don’t agree with, for years, but the double standard has been devastating to our family.

The other category which comes into play is “second wife” syndrome. While there are I’m sure (and I’d love to be one, some day!) healthy second wife scenarios, all too often a batterer will go specifically SEEK a woman in order to extract the children from the first wife, when he couldn’t otherwise. That 2nd woman lends a seeming credibility, and yet, sometimes these women can be more vicious than the men they married to start with. An abusive man is not going to pick a second woman who is likely to confront him on his abuse!!

WELL, this post is now over-worked, but I wanted to include the Jaycee and Hassani case above, to make a few points. It also has helped me get past another few hours in a day in which, I have no visual contact with either daughter, as one of them is entering college and the other one is, at this point, alienated, a thing I never inflicted upon her father while they lived here. They have HAD to make some sense of their existing world. Their existing world included a sudden, and COMPLETE elimination from their mother’s input and involvement, without a chance to say goodbye. They were involved in keeping secrets (and induced to) before the event, for over a year, on pretenses of the adults around them. The facts surrounding this event are still not out, and I happen to believe that my absent daughters are not yet aware of what was said on paper about them. I know that they are not exposed to the penalties my family has exacted upon me (subsequent) for continuing to speak up.

This is a HOW -TO for the intergenerational transmission of trauma and abuse. IF the goal is to do this, I am looking at the HOW of it. All that REALLY needs to be sacrificed, in the bottom line analysis, to stop it, is a LOT of pride in high places, and what I call dogma and others call social science, policy, or probability-driven practices (it’s called “evidence” but the actual “evidences” considered are often summaries of “probability.”)

AS TO THE 1989 ARTICLE (BELOW):

I’m not in agreement with his theme that men can be taught not to abuse. I think men mostly respond to what they’re taught in this society — authority, and taking control. Women are taught to negotiate and submit, overall (I didn’t realize HOW much til confronting others after leaving my own violent marriage, and then, in shock, realizing it was expected I should take orders. I said no, and took this to the institutions available (first, the courts) to set boundaries and standards. Then I was in for even a ruder awakening to the state of affairs.

So just consider the fall-out, the social fall out from these things, the canaries in the coal mine. it’s also a good part of the present NATIONAL economic distress and contributing to it, do not kid yourself! Asking Big Brother to coach, teach, punish, reward, analyze, and rationalize the common ethical issues of life — BIG, mistake. This is called farming out thinking to others. In the process, we are paying people to also form our own ethics, when these were formed and stated long ago in the US Declaration of Independence, Constitution and Bill of Rights, PLUS the fact that these stemmed from a refusal to become the colony of a distant king.

Figure it out — the distance these days may not be so geographic as in worlds apart in perspectives. The colonization part still seems to apply. Children are the MOST attractive and fertile field for TOO many people, and they are hurt in this unnatural process, a constant interruption to their lives. I saw this happen to my own, there was a point in time (a certain season, when others saw the personal gain in our divorce and and custody issue) that –because of a badly written visitation schedule — I watched my daughter who, prior to this, had been able to adjust to separation with regular visitation, and retain their personal integrity — they became performers. It was clear that they were collateral in the fight, and I believe knew this too. They talked about it, too. It was unfair to them, and to me as their mother.

SOURCE —

http://members.shaw.ca/pdg/wife_abuse_child_custody_visitation.html

Note: “Last updated Nov. 2008”

(More of my comments below, for once!)

Stop Violence Against Women
A project by The Advocates for Human Rights

Copyright 2003 Minnesota Advocates for Human Rights.
Permission is granted to use this material for non-commercial purposes. Please use proper attribution.

(THESE documents do not appear to have stopped violence against women. I used to read and read from this International Source, but no matter — the people most directly involved with our lives chose NOT to read, or accept, some of these writings. So what good have they done, other than to increase the frustration level, the awareness of the discrepancy between reasonable, and unreasonable? Sometimes, I wonder.

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(Best read in the original HTML, but here:

Wife Abuse and Child Custody and Visitation by the Abuser,

Kendall Segel-Evans, 1989.

Wife Abuse and Child Custody and Visitation by the Abuser

by Kendall Segel-Evans

originally published:
ENDING MEN’S VIOLENCE NEWSLETTER, Fall, 1989

{{Let’s Get Honest has decided to interrupt the article more than to put :}}

MAIN POINTs?:____________________ after each paragraph, in hopes that a thoughtful reader will think about what was just said.

Again, one of the greatest motivations for THINKING about various policies, doctrines, and dogmas, is if something valuable is at stake in the mix. Plus, if one has developed the habit of THINKING with this in mind, throughout — as if not just “someone’s” life or livelihood, but as if “your own” life, or your child’s, were at stake in the matter. THAT is responsible government hood (along with respecting civil rights and due process). COLLECTIVELY, what we all have at stake is to acknowledge that what we may think is “common” sense is nothing of the sort, and that the view gets foggier the less time one spends at street level — and I mean on a regular basis. Dwelling in courtrooms only is NOT “street level” in the sense of, what happens after the court order is written?)

I recently read the National Organization for Changing Men’s statement on child custody, and the position taken that, in general, sole custody by the previously most involved parent is preferable to joint custody. I would like to elaborate on this position for families where there has been violence between parents (i.e. woman-abuse). The following includes the main points of a deposition I was asked to provide to a lawyer for the mother in a child custody case. I do not believe this is the last or best word on the subject, but I hope that it will simulate useful dialogue about the effects on children of wife-abuse and the treatment of wife-abusers. I also wish to further discussion on the issue of how we are going to truly end men’s violence. Clearly, I believe that the treatment of wife-abusers should not only be held accountable to the partner victim/survivors, but also to the children, and to the next generation.

MAIN POINTs?:____________________

I would like to mention that I will speak of husbands and fathers abusing wives and mothers, because that is the most common situation by far, not because the reverse never happens. It also seems to be true that when there is wife to husband violence it is usually in self-defense and usually does not have the same dynamics or effects as wife abuse. I will use the words violence and abuse somewhat interchangeably, because, in my opinion, domestic violence is not just about physical violence. Domestic violence is a pattern of physical, sexual, economic, social and emotional violence, coercion, manipulation and mistreatment or abuse. Physical violence and the threat of such violence is only the part of the pattern that is most visible and makes the other parts of the pattern difficult to defend against. Once violence is used, its threat is never forgotten. Even when the violence is stopped by threat of legal action or by physical separation, the coercion, manipulation and abusiveness continue (Walker and Edwall, 1987).

MAIN POINTs?:____________________

Accompanying this pattern of behaviors are common styles of coping or personality characteristics – such as the tendency to blame others for ones problems and impulsiveness – that most batterers share. Almost every man I have worked with has a tendency to see his partner (or his children) as responsible for his pain when he is upset. This leads to seeing his partner (or his children) as an enemy who must be defeated before he can feel better. This is destructive to emotional health even when it does not lead to overt violence.

MAIN POINTs?:____________________

In my opinion, it would be better, in most cases, for the children of homes where there has been domestic violence not to be in the custody of the abusive parent at all. In many cases it is even advisable that visitation be limited to controlled situations, such as under a therapist’s supervision during a therapy session, unless the batterer has been in batterer’s treatment and demonstrated that he has changed significantly in specific ways. “Merely” observing ones father abuse ones mother is in itself damaging to children. My clinical experience is consistent with the research literature which shows that children who witness their father beat their mother exhibit significantly greater psychological and psychosomatic problems than children from homes without violence (Roy, 1988). Witnessing abuse is more damaging in many ways than actually being abused, and having both happen is very damaging (Goodman and Rosenberg, 1987). Studies show that a high percentage (as high as 55%) of fathers who abuse their wives also abuse their children (Walker and Edwall, 1987). In my experience, if one includes emotional abuses such as being hypercritical, yelling and being cruelly sarcastic, the percentage is much higher. The damage that children suffer is highly variable, with symptoms ranging from aggressive acting out to extreme shyness and withdrawal, or from total school failure to compulsive school performance. The best way to summarize all the symptoms despite their variety is to say that they resemble what children who suffer other trauma exhibit, and could be seen as a version of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (Walker and Edwall, 1987).

MAIN POINTs?:____________________

Equally serious is the long term effect of domestic violence – intergenerational transmission. Children who observe their mothers being beaten are much more likely to be violent to a partner themselves as adults. In one study, men who observed violence towards their mother were three times more likely to be abusive than men who had not observed such violence (Strauss et al., 1980). The more serious the abuse observed, the more likely the men were to repeat it. Being abused also makes children likely to grow up to be violent, and having both happen increases the probability even more.

MAIN POINTs?:____________________

How children learn to repeat the abuse they observe and experience includes many factors. One of the more important is modeling. When they grow up, children act like their parents did, consciously or not, willingly or not. Several of the boys I have worked with have been terribly conflicted about being like their father, of whom they were afraid and ashamed. But they clearly carried parts of their father’s behavior patterns and attitudes with them. Other boys from violent homes idealized their father, and they were more likely than the others to beat their wives when they grew up (Caesar, 1988). Several of the men I have worked with in group have lamented that they told themselves that they would not beat their wives the way their mother was beaten when they were children. But when they became adults, they found themselves doing the same things their father did.

MAIN POINTs?:____________________

One reason for this is that even if the physical abuse stops, if the children still have contact with the batterer, they are influenced by his coping styles and personality problems. As Lenore Walker observes (Walker and Edwall, 1987, p. 138), “There is also reason for concern about children’s cognitive and emotional development when raised by a batterer who has a paranoid-like pattern of projecting his own inadequacy and lack of impulse-control onto others.” Dr. Pagelow agrees, “It may become desirable to avoid prolonged contact between violent fathers and their sons until the men assume control over their own behavior and the examples of ‘manhood’ they are showing to the boys who love them, (Pagelow, 1984, p. 256). If the abusive man has not sought out domestic violence specific treatment for his problem, there is no reason to believe that the underlying pattern of personality and attitudes that supported the abuse in the past have changed. There is every reason to believe it will impact his children.

MAIN POINTs?:____________________

Additionally, in a society where the majority of wife-beatings do not lead to police reports, much less to filings or convictions, it is easy for children to perceive that abusiveness has no negative consequences. (One study, by Dobash and Dobash, found that 98% of violent incidents between spouses were not reported to the police [reported in Pagelow, 1984, p. 437]). Some children, seeing who has the power and guessing what could happen to them if they opposed the power, will side with the abuser in custody situations. Often, children will deny that the abuse ever happened. Unfortunately, the children who side with the abuser, or deny the abuse, are the most likely to be abusive themselves as adults. It is very important that family court not support this by treating a wife-beating father as if he were just as likely to be a good parent as the woman he beat. As Gelles and Strauss point out in their book Intimate Violence (1988), people are violent in part because they believe they can get away with it. Public consequences are important for preventing the intergenerational transmission of violence. Boys, particularly, need to to see that their father’s abusiveness leads to negative, not positive results.

MAIN POINTs?:____________________

Lastly, I would like to point out that joint legal custody is likely to be damaging to children when there has been spousal violence. My experience with my clients is definitely consistent with the research results reported by Judith Wallerstein to the American Orthopsychiatric Association Convention in 1988. The data clearly show that joint custody is significantly inferior to sole custody with one parent when there is parental conflict after the divorce, in terms of the children’s emotional adjustment as well as the mother’s safety. Most batterers continue their abusiveness after the marriage, into the divorced parent relationship, in the form of control, manipulation and harassment over support payments, visitation times, and parenting styles. The children are always aware of these tensions and battles, and sometimes blame the mother for not just giving in and keeping the peace – or for being too submissive. The batterer often puts the children right in the middle, taking advantage of his belief that she will give in to avoid hurting the children. The damage to the children in this kind of situation is worse because it is ongoing, and never is allowed to be resolved or have time to heal.

MAIN POINTs?:____________________

Because I work with batterers, I am sympathetic to the distress they feel at being separated from their children for long periods of time. However, the men who truly cared about their children for the children’s sake, and not for what the children do for their father’s ego, have been willing to do the therapeutic work necessary to change. They have been willing to accept full responsibility for their violent behavior, and however reluctantly, have accepted whatever restrictions on child visitation existed for safety reasons. They have been willing to be in therapy to deal with “their problem.” They have also recognized that they were abused as children themselves, or witnessed their mother being abused, or both, and are willing to support interrupting the intergenerational transmission of violence.

MAIN POINTs?:____________________

Kendall Segel-Evans, M.A. Marriage, Family and Child Counselor 4/15/1989

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Caesar, P. Lynn., “Exposure to Violence in the Families of Origin

Among Wife Abusers and Maritally Violent Men.” Violence and Victims , Vol. 3, No. 1, Spring, 1988.

Davis, Liane V., and Carlson, Bonnie E., “Observation of Spouse Abuse

– What Happens to the Children?” Journal of Interpersonal Violence, Vol. 2, No. 3, September 1987, pp. 278-291, Sage Publications, 1987.

Dutton, Donald., The Domestic Assault of Women, Allyn and Bacon, 1988.

Gelles, Richard J. and Strauss, Murray A., Intimate Violence, Simon and Schuster, 1988.

Goodman, Gail S., and Rosenberg, Mindy, S., “The Child Witness to Family Violence:

Clinical and Legal Considerations. Ch. 7, pp. 47ff. in: Sonkin, Daniel. Ph.d., Domestic Violence on Trial, Springer, 1987.

Pagelow, Mildred Daley, Family Violence, Praeger Publications, 1984.

Roy, Maria., Children in the Crossfire, Health Communications, Inc. 1988.

Roy, Maria., The Abusive Partner, Van Nostrand, 1982.

Sonkin, Daniel. Phd., Domestic Violence on Trial, Springer, 1987.

Strauss, Murray A., et. al., Behind Closed Doors, Anchor Books, 1980.

Walker, Lenore E.A., and Edwall, Glenace E.

“Domestic Violence and Determination of Visitation and Custody in Divorce.”

Ch. 8, pp. 127ff. Sonkin, Daniel. Phd. Domestic Violence on Trial, Springer, 1987.

Wallerstein, Judith., Report to the American Orthopsychiatric Association Convention, 1988.

Some of the above professionals listed here, from what I understand, have either changed their tune, or found more profit in conferences funded by the shared-custody, father’s-rights, premises that women are equally as violent and dangerous as men in marriage. Or, that what is said above, here, about role modeling and responsibility to the NEXT generation, doesn’t apply. I have seen them (I think even Dutton was seen in my last post, at such a conference.). Nevertheless, read what he wrote!

And I can show you, in approximately $millions$$ (as I have been at times in news headlines) the cost of these premises, in particular to the next generation. But what kind of generation IS it that can’t see right/versus wrong, principles of values as defined by what is and is NOT criminal behavior, when they see an age gap. How does gender pre-empt behavior, or youth pre-empt age? Why must women be held to a higher standard of accountability as parents then men, and men be paid — by the U.S. Government through the states through the courts, prisons, child support systems, mediation, supervised visitation, parenting education classes — and AFTER many times a K-12 (or almost 12th in some cases) educational system that itself is a major public expenditure. . . . Moreover, WHY should programs supposedly aimed at low-income people (as if such people had fewer human rights, common sense, or were less entitled to due process and informed consent about what’s happening! than others) are being utilized by sometimes some very well to do individuals in the divorce arena. For example, google the Alanna Krause case. This does not make “sense” to me.

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Speaking personally, the exchanges where were the problems occurred in our case. I asked (for YEARS) for help with this, and got none. Then finally on an overnight, I stopped seeing my daughters again.

I think that had COMMON SENSE PREVAILED long ago, our own family would be much more prosperous, and I doubt life with me would’ve been so stressful for the girls, after all, each weekend was likely to become a scene, or not come a scene. I could scarcely relax much around that. Add into the mix child support issues, and we have a decade of devastation, at least from my point of view.

And WHY? To support some new theories and professions? How about the professions Moms were in beforehand? (Many of us were, FYI).

To support: marriage and family therapists, mediators, custody evaluators, trauma specialists?

When a society either refuses to deal with — OR cannot agree on the source and causes of the ongoing sources of trauma, SOMEONE will have to pay the cost of a traumatized populations, just as any war-torn country, or AIDS-ravaged country, there is collateral damages to go with the death, shock, poverty and collapse of infrastructure. In the United States, this plays out entirely differently, of course, because we still have a significant infrastructure, or at least many of the population believe we do, and those not so badly hurt by it as others wish to, apparently, maintain the myths that it’s sustaining something valid.

And yes, I repeat, those are myths.

Where is the real moral, let alone economic, validity in paying multiple professionals to deal with one recalcitrant, overentitled, or person unwilling to seek help with his REAL problems, rather than to alleviate the symptoms of his REAL problems, such as being separated from his children. I had to face this in marriage, and now with family of origin, and again in the family law system? I find a fundamental flaw, and the truth of the matter, the difference is in worldview of (1) humanity and (2) whether or not law applies to all, or only to some. I.e., the “double-standard” mentality.

And that typically falls on the gender divide. Other times, it falls on the Economic Divide. While it’s common for rich to blame poor for being poor in a matter that an abuser blames his victim, there is wiggle room in both viewpoints, and the institutions we live in and deal with ARE not formed, historically, by poor people. They aren’t. Rather, they tend to impoverish. The familyy law system is GOING to do this. It is going to move wealth around, and afterwards, SOMEONE is going to be impoverished under this theme that it’s not an adversarial system, its’ “really” all about the children.

For child-molesters, this may be true. For those who see $$ when they see custody to one parent or the other, in a sense it might be.

But it’s NOT about the children’s welfare, not like this.

If the individual is unwilling to separate his behavior from himself as a person, after being offered multiple opportunities to do so, and go through equivalent shock of personal changes, as did his victim(s) and bystanders affected, then THAT is the issue.

MOREOVER, if the family system surrounding this individual is ALSO unwilling or unable to confront own criminal behavior, life-threatening and life-changing behavior, in one of its own, what’s that family FOR? that is precisely the family that should be dismantled, yet a system says, no it shouldn’t. (Theoretically, although I know plenty of mothers who can’t see their children under this theory. When the pedal hits the metal, that’s how it plays out, too often).

Voices from the even further past, still valid today:

Too bad we’re more religious than actually a truly God-conscious society — because of the simplicity and beauty with which truths are stated:

“Even a child is known by his doings, whether they be good or whether they be bad.”

“Ye shall know them by their fruits.”

As to who to socialize with, who to take on as business partner or close friends:

“Evil communications (this just means “associations”) corrupt good manner (ethos).”

The book of “Proverbs” (31 in all) was directed to young people, and talks about not associating with an angry man or a furious man “lest you learn his ways.” Family law says, if it’s supervised, it’s OK, and a child must, because it’s his father. Today’s essay talks about that…. Proverbs talks about not meddling with them that are given to sudden change. That’s common sense! Sudden change could be backstabbing, betrayal, turning on you. That habit, done ONCE, is cause to separate if not confronted, admitted, and changed. FAST. We have a RIGHT to be once burnt, twice shy. . . . . . Yet this family law system attracts such characters, accepting hearsay as evidence when it’s not, suppressing evidence when it’s found too often; it keeps the litigation going, and exposing parents and children to a series of sudden shocks, disrupting their entire lives and livelihoods, sometimes everything. We should not have to do this. And Proverbs ALSO talks about not associating with fools: “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be ashamed.”

When our children are forced to break these simplicities, for a different ideology, this is in effect using parents, particularly mothers, to produce children for the state. That’s not what we went through nine months for, or labor! No woman goes through this in order to raise a fool, a criminal, or have her kid hurt and taught values that will lead that child to sometimes a lifetime of it. Or to have no coherent set of values but personal survival!

(Note on quoting Bible verses here: I quote them as what’s in my thinking, others may (if they wish) look some of them up on-line at “http://bible.cc” (KJV) or elsewhere. My quotes may not be verbatim.)

What mother would WANT a son or daughter to join a gang of criminals? Yet they do, or sometimes they die for NOT being in a gang. It’s not only the risks, but the values systems.

What about a government gang? What about a system that robs parents of years of productive work based on a theme that someone is somehow to be deciphered psychologically, apart from his or her behaviors? What about a system that would bring ongoing conflict onto growing children — and do so for financial and personal profit — based on the belief that freedom of association does NOT belong to (typically) their mother?

It’s nice to have a lot of professions spring up on how to stop violence against women, I suppose, BUT how about the professions Moms were in beforehand? (Many of us were, FYI). The professionals I most needed in the early 2000 would’ve been a criminal (not family) defense attorney. Then again, where was the funding going to come from?

Surely! a NY State Supreme Court Justice wouldn’t extort or solicit a bribe. (Oh– and the extortion involved a family law case…)

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This illustrates why I think the many problems in the family law arena are due to judges (etc.) “just not understanding” and that more federal grants money (million$, in fact, nationwide and over the years) should be poured into organizations that “educate” and “train” judges in what’s right (after the original hundred$ of thousand$ to first research, study, and figure out what’s right), rather than into efforts to make sure all of them DO what’s right.

And when they are caught with their pants down — excuse me, their hands out (wrong case) — then whether or not this should be taken seriously should be left up to the discretion of ANOTHER judge, All that’s at stake, after all, is judicial accountability and justice, and public respect for what the courts do, and how business is conducted in them. Respect for the law, . . . .

An interesting case, and if you put on the lens of “evidence,” I still see mostly hearsay and a LOT of politics. That said, whether or not he gets 10 years, or 20, or the “standard” 2 to 3-1/2 (for the mere crime of betraying public office for personal profit), or, nothing, is up to the discretion of another judge. At least this one is off the bench and disbarred. Some of the case appears to hinge on a dubious sting, and the testimony of a personal injury attorney with a divorce case before the judge (Hmm…). In the long run, it hinges on our faith in the Judicial Commission and the US DOJ.

I am not investing more time in formatting today, but thought the topic relevant and of public interest.

Moral: Never attempt to shake down a successful PI attorney

POINT: Search for “@@@” which shows my point in posting this:

Script is below. It takes a while to sort out the characters, but there sure is a moral involved, here.

My comments are in quotes, the actual quote (article) is not.

(Font size changes are out of control; just deal with it, OK?)

Former N.Y. Judge Convicted of Attempted Extortion and Soliciting Bribes

Jeff Storey
New York Law Journal
August 28, 2009

Former New York Supreme Court Justice Thomas J. Spargo has been found guilty of attempting to shake down lawyers appearing before him to help pay the substantial legal bills he had incurred in fighting an ongoing investigation into his conduct by the Commission on Judicial Conduct.

The types of complaints that may be investigated by the Commission include improper demeanor, conflicts of interest, intoxication, >>bias, prejudice, favoritism, corruption<<, prohibited business or political activity, serious financial and records mismanagement, >>assertion of the influence of judicial office for the private benefit of the judge or others,<< and other misconduct on or off the bench. Physical or mental disability may also be investigated.

The Commission does not act as an appellate court and does not review the merits of a judge’s rulings or alleged errors of law. The Commission does not have the authority, for example, to raise or reduce the amount of bail or change the sentence imposed upon a defendant. The Commission does not issue advisory opinions, give legal advice or represent litigants.

The Commission’s jurisdiction is limited to judges. Complaints against other court personnel or lawyers are not investigated. When appropriate, the Commission refers complaints to other agencies. {{SUCH AS? How is it decided when this is appropriate?}}

{{NOTE: THEREFORE, THIS WILL NOT HANDLE: CUSTODY EVALUATORS, MEDIATORS, COURT-APPOINTED ATTORNEYS, FAMILY LAW ATTORNEYS, FORENSIC PSYCHOLOGIST ETC. ETC. ETC. THEREFORE, THIS IS A LIMITED VENUE OF REVIEW WHEN IT COMES TO THE REALM OF FAMILY LAW, I WOULD PRESUME.}}

{{NOW perhaps we have an idea why certain organizations (pronounce after me: “A-F-C-C,” for example) are so VITALLY interested in farming out custody decision-making input AWAY from judges and AWAY from the courtroom?}}

At the close of a three-day trial in Albany, and after deliberating for seven hours, a Northern District of New York jury on Thursday convicted Spargo, 66, of both counts in the indictment against him: attempted extortion and soliciting a bribe.

The Albany Times-Union reported that Spargo smiled at times after the verdict, hugging one supporter in the courtroom.

Outside, Spargo told reporters, “The jury system works whether you like it or not.”

(An odd comment for a judge….?)

E. Stewart Jones of Troy, N.Y., Spargo’s attorney, in an interview called the verdict “overkill” and “excessively punitive” to Spargo, who was removed in 2006 from the Albany Supreme Court bench at the recommendation of the conduct commission.

A spokesman for the U.S. Department of Justice said Spargo faced a maximum sentence of 20 years on the extortion charge and 10 years on the bribery charge, plus a fine of up to $250,000 on each count.

However, the sentence he receives from Judge Gary Sharpe in December will likely be much less. Jones said the advisory sentencing range was two to 3 1/2 years. In any case, he pointed out that the judge had the discretion to eschew a prison term entirely.

{{So much for taking it seriously, the mis-use of judicial power for personal gain. This kind of reminds me of not taking violations of RESTRAINING ORDERS or STALKING seriously either. With this kind of mentality, how hard is it going to really hit Judge Sargo? What was his salary? Will he lose his cronies? Will he lose the support of any family? }}

Jones said the sentence will play a big part in his client’s decision whether to appeal.

Under state law, Spargo also will be disbarred.

Note: I bet THAT law has an interesting background….. Probably judges that were getting disciplined were NOT getting disbarred (and continuing practice) before it was passed??

Jones accused the conduct commission, and its administrator, Robert H. Tembeckjian, of referring the case to federal authorities after the agency “already had exacted its pound of flesh.”

Jones added that he had argued to the jury that Spargo had paid the price for defending the First Amendment rights of judges in the commission proceedings.

Tembeckjian denied in an interview that the commission had initiated the federal case. Rather, he said his agency merely responded to requests for information from the federal prosecutors whose probe was already under way. Spargo’s removal from office “ended the matter for us,” he said.

“This case was not about the First Amendment but about abusing judicial office for personal financial gain,” Tembeckjian added in a statement. “The commission fulfilled its responsibilities honorably. Its decision and the jury verdict speak for themselves.”

Point: The extent of the Commission on Judicial Conduct’s effort was to get the guy off the bench, not set or make an example that extortion and bribery are, well, criminal and will be punished. They are not the criminal prosecutors. It was basically then, apparently, “damage control.”

The commission’s probe figured prominently in the Albany trial. Tembeckjian was subpoenaed and although he did not testify, his cross-examination of Spargo before the commission was read into the record. Moreover, several commission witnesses appeared at the trial.

EXTORTION CHARGES

The government alleged that Spargo, while presiding in Kingston in 2003, had tried to extort thousands of dollars from three of Ulster County’s most successful personal injury lawyers. {{Only one of who is named in this article, so possibly the strongest case??}}

((Their success might be another interesting story.))

In particular, prosecutors said Spargo had called Bruce Blatchly of New Paltz into his chambers and attempted to solicit $10,000. @@@When Blatchly balked, the judge followed up with a second solicitation in a phone call during which he observed that he and Albany County Surrogate Cathryn Doyle, a close friend, had been assigned to handle Blatchly’s Ulster County cases, including Blatchly’s own divorce.@@@

{{The chamber of horrors??}}

{{Acknowledging cronyism….}}

NOTE: We now enter the realm of FAMILY LAW. An indication by this disbarred judge that he would rig a case (against) an attorney who refused to pay up

suggests that this practice exists, and may not be uncommon.

The judge suggested that if the attorney did not play ball, those cases would be in jeopardy, the government sought to prove.

MY COMMENTS:

Without a phone tap, or written evidence, it’s still hearsay. Then I would imagine, it would get down to sworn statement, and whether the person making sworn statement is a credible witness. In this field, it’d be a hard call to tell who is and who is not a credible witness, for sure!

This shows right here how bribes and extortion would happen — of course, typically, a person doing this would not want evidence. They would happen in private, casually, unrecorded, off the record. this is why CHARACTER is so important in those in public office, and it’s really up to the PUBLIC to ensure this somehow. Somehow . . . . .

With what I’ve been exposed to so far (which isn’t the whole nine yards, but still sickening in nature, scope and impact on people’s lives!), as far as I, an onlooker, am concerned, and as far as evidence here, how do I know there wasn’t some other interests in prosecuting this particular judge. Maybe he had crossed the wrong people. Maybe he was going to go down, and someone didn’t want to be associated with him. Or maybe this story played out just like it did, and the “Commission on Judicial Conduct” really are good, ethical guys.

When punishment for extortion and bribe is weak, that communicates to the rest of us (and I do mean across the country) that it’s not a “big deal” to the courts. It is discouraging to litigants.

Jones said Spargo, an expert in election law active in Republican Party circles, was “disappointed and saddened” by the jury verdict, but observed that winning an acquittal, never easy in federal court, had been made even more of an “uphill struggle” by facts and circumstances of the case that were difficult to explain.

Jones did not present any witnesses because “we had nothing to add.” He told the jury on summation that Spargo was an innocent man who would not have risked extorting money while under investigation by the commission.

The commission began investigating Spargo in 2000 when he was a part-time town justice. By 2003, his legal bills had reached $140,000 and were continuing to mount, Jones said. Jones also represented Spargo before the commission.

JUST FOR A POINT OF REFERENCE, THIS IS 2009. Removal from the bench happened after 3 years. What does that say about who gets to the Supreme Court level, that he did?

NINE YEARS TO BEAR FRUIT, AND THAT’S WITH FEDS INVOLVED.

SO, IF WE ARE TALKING THE LIFE OF A GROWING CHILD, THAT CHILD WOULD’VE BEEN HALF-GROWN. MOREOVER, THIS COMMISSION HAS NO POWER TO AFFECT DECISIONS ALREADY MADE, JUST GET BAD JUDGES OFF THE BENCH.

Jones acknowledged in the interview Thursday that lawyers had been asked to contribute money on Spargo’s behalf but said the approach had been made by another lawyer without Spargo’s knowledge.

Jones praised Judge Sharpe’s handling of the case but stopped short of saying whether his client had received a fair trial. He said Thursday that he first wanted to investigate the impact of a “hearsay” report in the Times-Union.

Jones had argued before the jury that the government was obligated to produce Surrogate Doyle as a witness since prosecutors alleged Spargo had used her in his effort to extort Blatchly. Surrogate Doyle did not testify at trial.

Jones told the jury the government was hiding the surrogate because she would hurt its case. He said Thursday that his argument to the jury may have been undermined by what he said was a false report in the Times-Union that the surrogate was present in the courtroom.

The case was prosecuted by Senior Trial Attorney Richard C. Pilger and Kendall Day, a trial attorney from the Justice Department’s Criminal Division in Washington.

“It is a sad day indeed when a judge breaks the laws that he is sworn to enforce,” Assistant Attorney General Lanny A. Breuer said in a statement.

IS IT SAD ENOUGH FOR ACTUAL PRISON TIME? if not, then other such judges will also presume, well, not THAT sad…..

“Judges are supposed to serve the people who elected them, not their own self-interests. What Spargo did is nothing more than old-fashioned extortion,” said FBI Special Agent in Charge John F. Pikus.

That’s true, and we appreciate the good work in this case. Now about the others . . . . . ??

JUDGES SIGN COURT ORDERS. NEXT TO THOSE WHO ENFORCE THE SAME ORDERS, THESE ARE SOME OF THE MOST IMPORTANT GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES AROUND, AND THEY ARE PAID WELL FOR IT.

NOTE, THAT LIKE A TYPICAL BUSINESS PERSON, JUDGE SPARGO ATTEMPTED TO PAY HIS LAWYER’S FEES. NOT IN A LEGAL MANNER OF COURSE, BUT HE DID TRY TO “PASS IT FORWARD” WHEN IT CAME TO THE ACTUAL COSTS.

WHAT KIND OF BREEDING GROUNDS ARE THESE COURTROOMS, PARTICULARLY WHEN IT COMES TO USING EXTORTION, AND THE THREAT IS TO THROW A DIVORCE CASE?

If that’s the characteristic of divorce court (and this wouldn’t be the first NY judge to be caught with taking bribes over divorce cases), then it would behoove EVERY divorcing couple in which neither is indeed a criminal, to work out their own divorces.

Of course, if they had that capacity to start with, perhaps they might’ve worked out their own marriages as well. . . . .

Just FYI, when it comes to cases with a history of domestic violence, the “extortion” isn’t just throwing a case, it’s hurting someone — whether ex-spouse, relative, or child. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

(2) Tembeckjian

NYT, section, “Opinion” OP-ED.

How Judges Hide From Justice

Published: May 22, 2005

By ROBERT H. TEMBECKJIAN

N the last three months, the New York State Commission on Judicial Conduct has publicly disciplined four metropolitan-area judges: two from Brooklyn, one from Manhattan and one from Westchester. Apart from some intense public commentary over the merits of these decisions – three public censures and one removal from office – these cases had at least one thing in common. They were all conducted in secret. That should be changed

Judges are among the most powerful of public servants. They decide who goes to jail, who wins or loses millions of dollars and who gets custody of children. Public confidence in their integrity and impartiality is essential to the rule of law. While a vast majority of judges are honorable, there will always be some who engage in unethical behavior. Disciplining such judges is important business that should be transacted in public, just as any civil or criminal trial would be.

In 38 states, judicial misconduct hearings are indeed open to the public. Not so in New York, where proceedings that stretch over months are held behind closed doors. Only when the results are announced does the public even learn such cases existed. By then, it is usually too late to convey in a meaningful way the strength of the case, the credibility of the witnesses and the merits of the defense. The four recent decisions in New York offer cases in point.

The commission voted to remove a Surrogate’s Court judge in Brooklyn for awarding a long-time friend millions of dollars in fees from estates where there was no executor, without confirming that he had done enough work to earn such fees. The judge is appealing the decision.

The commission censured a Westchester Family Court judge who attempted to influence other judges and court workers on behalf of friends in two divorce and custody cases, and who testified in a manner she conceded was inaccurate. It also censured a Brooklyn Criminal Court judge for coming off the bench in unprovoked anger and grabbing and screaming at a defense lawyer. Finally, it censured a Manhattan Civil Court judge for presiding over a personal injury case involving a litigant who was also a lawyer with whom she continued to socialize, and to whom she awarded a fiduciary appointment worth about $80,000 in fees, while the case was pending.

Reasonable people may differ with these decisions. As the prosecutor of judicial misconduct cases in New York, I myself am sometimes at odds with the commission. Yet while some criticized the removal as severe, and others derided the censures as lenient, most tended to miss the context and nuance of the deliberations. The subtleties of an individual disciplinary decision tend to get short shrift in the news. Were the press and public able to follow along as these cases unfolded, the disciplinary process would not seem so sudden and mysterious, and citizens would be better informed along the way. For example, the case against the Brooklyn Surrogate’s Court judge lasted 22 months, and the record was over 13,000 pages long. It would be difficult, if not impossible, to capture the complexities of such a proceeding in a single article that reported the final result.

New York’s chief judge, Judith Kaye, proposed legislation in 2003, which the commission endorsed, to open up the disciplinary process at the point when a judge is formally charged with misconduct. Unfortunately, the Legislature did not act. Perhaps the commission’s recent decisions might spur the Senate and Assembly to revisit the issue. The more citizens know about what goes on at the commission, the more likely they will appreciate that no case is as cut and dried as a critic may suggest. The press and public could follow the arguments as they develop, rather than try to digest them all at once when the decisions are rendered.

Moreover, an open proceeding would shed important light on the rare instance in which a formal charge against a judge is dismissed without any disciplinary action. It would provide the public with the means to assess that a dismissal was deserved and the system was honest.

In short, a public process would transform judicial discipline from a secretive game to one in which the commission’s judgments were open to scrutiny and improvement as we went along, while there was time enough to make a difference. Public confidence in the judiciary, and in the disciplinary system that holds them accountable, requires nothing less.

Robert H. Tembeckjian is administrator of and counsel to the New York State Commission on Judicial Conduct.

Queens Judge Accepts Call For Transfer (June 15, 2004)
(THAT one is quite a read, too — I just did! Talk about political influence in courtrooms!!)

JUDICIAL COMMISSION MEMBERS, as of 2008 (on page 4 of this:)

(Shows who appoints them — some by a Governor, some from Legislature, some by a Chief Judge, one by a former governor).

(3) BLATCHLY

How’d you like to go up against this person in your divorce?

(If I remarry, remind me NOT to remarry an attorney….)

Blatchly & Simonson
3 Academy Street
New Paltz, New York 12561
Phone: (845) 255-4600
Fax: (845) 255-2627
E-Mail: bdbxx@hvc.rr.com

Family Law

In our family law practice, we will work closely with you to seek favorable resolution of disputes related to your divorce. For many families, making the decision to divorce means agreements must be reached on a variety of related matters, such as:

Child Custody & Visitation

Child Support

Spousal Maintenance (Alimony)

Division of Marital Assets & Debts

Now is a time when you need knowledgeable and experienced advocates working on your behalf. Whether your issues can be resolved through negotiation or we proceed to litigation, we will be here to protect your interests and advocate for you every step of the way. Just because your marriage is ending, it does not mean you should be taken advantage of or lose all that you have worked hard for.

Every divorce essentially involves resolution of the same four issues; grounds (your entitlement to a divorce), custody (joint, sole or shared), support (spousal and child) and equitable distribution of your assets. A solid understanding of these issues and how they impact on your life is essential to understanding what your options in a divorce are and planning for your future during and after the divorce proceedings.

Unlike most civil litigation, divorce results in legal issues that survive dissolution of the marriage and continue to occasionally require legal work as custody arrangements and support are periodically adjusted. We continue to work with you as your circumstances change and you require modification of custody and/or support

(4) SPARGO

http://www.judicialaccountability.org/articles/spargofightscommission.htm

This is very interesting reading if you have the time, and talks about a controversial “sting” attempt by the AG, the process of selecting judges, and so forth (several articles).

Ex-NY Judge Loses Bid to Squelch His Indictment

By Joel Stashenko
New York Law Journal
New York Lawyer
July 28, 2009

The commission found that Mr. Spargo invited Ulster County attorney Bruce Blatchly into his chambers in November 2003 and, after asking his clerk to leave, told the lawyer that he wanted $30,000 from members of the local bar. Mr. Blatchly, who said he did not contribute, was the only person who presented evidence to the commission that Mr. Spargo was directly involved in soliciting funds.

The commission also contended that Mr. Blatchly was asked by Sanford Rosenblum, an Albany attorney who is close to Mr. Spargo, for a $10,000 donation to Mr. Spargo’s defense fund.

Mr. Spargo, 65, vehemently denied before the commission that he asked any attorneys for money.

Yesterday’s indictment does not identify the lawyer who allegedly gave Mr. Spargo $10,000, other than as “an Ulster County attorney practicing before him.”

{{Was this part of a sting, or business as usual? Did they plea-bargain said attorney in exchange for testimony?}}

As grounds for its removal recommendation against Mr. Spargo, the commission cited the alleged shakedown of Mr. Blatchly as well as Mr. Spargo’s handing out drinks, food and convenience store coupons while campaigning for the Supreme Court in 2001.

It also found he committed misconduct by not disclosing when hearing cases involving the Albany County District Attorney’s Office that he once represented the district attorney and was still owed $10,000 by him.

Written by Let's Get Honest|She Looks It Up

August 28, 2009 at 12:15 pm

Posted in History of Family Court

Tagged with Bribery, Divorce/Custody Cases as political collateral, Due process, Extortion, family law, Judge/attorney cronyism, Judicial Ethics Commissions (state), social commentary, U.S. Govt $$ hard @ work..

Mixed Sentiments — from a different battlefield — on the Passing of Senator Ted Kennedy, who valiantly fought: Brain Cancer, for Not Leaving Children Behind, and for Caring for the nation’s Health.

with 2 comments

AUGUST 26, 2009

I rarely sleep, and as the TV flashed with news of this lion of a personality, and carrier of the family name, it coincided unfortunately with the third year since I lost my daughters to felony child-stealing, in retaliation for reporting, in seeking asylum from domestic violence.

I struggle with respecting this event, with discomfort about our nations hyper-respect of public figures. Senator Ted apparently was a womanizer as well as struggled with alcohol, and eventually married a woman 22 years his junior; do his many public accomplishments compensate, is this just the way of “famous men” that change society?

He lost two brothers to assassination, assassinations that affected our country.

I am currently reviewing the work of a young woman, local, that lost a sister and a brother to murder, for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and probably also wrong color. She too is near the end of her dynasty — both parents gone. Her mother took the loss of two children hard, and also was fighting cancer. Her older sister was seen talking to some people in a van. She was found later, hog-tied, stabbed many times, raped many times, and thrown out like trash in a dumpster. Her SISTER. Her brother was stabbed in the heart for confronting someone trailing other women. Why do I run across people like this? I don’t know, except I don’t live in a castle or gated community, and I find people’s stories interesting. I have been cut out of my own daughters’ stories by a top-heavy, supposedly well-intentioned system that knew that two bright girls were not going to escape its radar or grasp, and that mother must therefore disappear.

Unlike me, she figured out FAST that a system was not going to protect her own two sons, and found a trusted friend to become guardian, so at least she can see them. Like others, for a fee. Like me, she wants some version of the truth to survive for her children.

We are allowed to give birth, but too often, not to also speak.

How famous is Senator Ted, then, and how much more important his story, and his contributions? Should I mourn him more than others? And yet it’s clear he worked hard, campaigned hard, pushed initiatives through, and changed our society. How can I handle this today, when I shouldn’t be blogging but doing something more self-preserving. Do I share the national regret and awe?

Quite honestly, no, but I mean no harm in saying so.

How long can I afford to pause and commemorate?

Probably shouldn’t have today, but i did.

it is easy and common to pick heroes and praise them, and transfer parts of our identity to heroes who gave their lives in service, and forget the non-heroes, some of whom I commemorate below.

I am not sure where Senator Ted falls in this mix. I think the metaphor of this book has come to the rescue. It seems both to symbolize the federalism and the poverty, and the reporting of it that go together in the topic “FAMOUS.”

“Let us Now Praise Famous Men“

The book Let Us Now Praise Famous Men grew out of an assignment the two men accepted in 1936 to produce a magazine article on the conditions among white sharecropper families in the U.S. South. It was the time of U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt‘s “New Deal“ programs designed to help the poorest segments of the society. Agee and Evans spent eight weeks that summer researching their assignment, mainly among three white sharecropping families mired in desperate poverty. They returned with Evans’ portfolio of stark images—of families with gaunt faces, adults and children huddled in bare shacks before dusty yards in the Depression-era nowhere of the deep south—and Agee’s detailed notes.

As he remarks in the book’s preface, the original assignment was to produce a “photographic and verbal record of the daily living and environment of an average white family of tenant farmers.” However, as the Literary Encyclopedia points out, “Agee ultimately conceived of the project as a work of several volumes to be entitled Three Tenant Families,though only the first volume, Let Us Now Praise Famous Men, was ever written.” Agee considered that the larger work, though based in journalism, would be “an independent inquiry into certain normal predicaments of human divinity.“

The resulting single book is a critically praised opus that leapt over the traditional forms and limitations of journalism of the time. By combining factual reportage with passages of literary complexity and poetic beauty, Agee presented a complete picture, an accurate, minutely detailed report of what he had seen coupled with insight into his feelings about the experience and the difficulties of capturing it for a broad audience. In doing so, he created an enduring portrait of a nearly invisible segment of the American population.

My father had a love, and some ear, for poetry, and always claimed he could hear the rhythm of the Lord’s Prayer (or possibly it was the 23rd psalm) in Agee’s “Knoxville, Summer of 1915.” Ever the critic (and unable to carry a tune himself) he tried to talk me out of both music, and Christianity (unsuccessful in both cases), and we had something of a truce. I do not have, emotionally or socially, a family at this point; I have made my own in life, and as to the one with whom I share DNA, it’s the two daughters only (now gone) and the deceased Dad, and my memories of him will have to do. . . .

So perhaps the Agee reference, the federalism, and my wish to point out, that deep poverty and distress still exist, sometimes still caused by either the basic human lusts, or the governmental god-like posturing, will make up for my mixed sense of duty in perhaps failure to “note” with enough awe, the passing of another member of the Kennedy dynasty, regardless of on how wide a screen and with how broad a stroke for how long, he painted his visions of what the United States should be. For one, as a woman, a mother, and a Christian, I do not share his multiple visions on how to help the poor and educate America. I do not think this is the original American vision, a totalitarian welfare state, an inverted pyramid building the 21st century equivalent of pyramids of social structure. I think this “nation/religion” is the way of Egypt, milennia ago. No, I do not. But still, Let us Now Praise Famous Men.

One of the follies of humanity is poor choice of who to praise and with whom to associate — famous preempts worthy.

Throughout the book, Agee and Evans use pseudonyms to obscure the identity of the three tenant farmer families. This convention is retained in the follow-up book And Their Children After Them.

lthough Agee’s and Evans’ work was never published as the intended magazine article, their work has endured in the form in which it finally emerged, a lengthy, highly original book. Agee’s text is part ethnography, part cultural anthropological study, and part novelistic, poetic narrative set in the shacks and fields of Alabama. Evans’ black-and-white photographs, starkly real but also matching the grand poetry of the text, are included as a portfolio, without comment, in the book.

Although at its heart a story of the three families, the Gudgers, Woods, and Ricketts (pseudonyms for the Burroughs, Tengles and Fields) the book is also a meditation on reporting and intrusion, on observing and interfering with subjects, sufficient to occupy any student of anthropology, journalism, or, for that matter, revolution.

THE ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF SENATOR EDWARD M. KENNEDY 1962-2009

August 26, 2009

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Senator Kennedy has authored more than 2,500 bills throughout his career in the United States Senate. Of those bills, several hundred have become Public Law. Attached is a sample of some of those laws, which have made a significant difference in the quality of life for the American people. Download the PDF document of his accomplishments here.

Reflections:

Who old enough does not remember? the assassinations, the plane crash, and now we have newsbroadcasts, and a nation commemorating the legacy of this Senator from Massachusetts. It is healing to commemorate, with respect, men who have changed the face of the nation. Last night, I watched on TV, Charlie Rose seeking to know this man through former friends and writers, and also speaking with the Senator also. As I saw the shock of white hair, the broad, broad charismatic smile, and listened to Senator Kennedy promote Education and Health Care, his two major federal programs and passions, I had a hard time. I heard the Senator talk about how America cannot be left behind in globalization and MUST give EVERY child the capacity to succeed in a global economy.

I thought, where are the memorials for the people who were not born into Kennedy family, but still died?

Viet Nam Memorial

By thee have I run through a troop and leapt over a wall

Psalm 18:

1 I will love thee, O LORD, my strength.

2 The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.

3 I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.

4 The sorrows of death compassed me, and the floods of ungodly men made me afraid.

5 The sorrows of hell compassed me about: the snares of death prevented me.

6 In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.

. . . .

With the merciful thou wilt shew thyself merciful; with an upright man thou wilt shew thyself upright;

26 With the pure thou wilt shew thyself pure; and with the froward thou wilt shew thyself froward.

27 For thou wilt save the afflicted people; but wilt bring down high looks.

28 For thou wilt light my candle: the LORD my God will enlighten my darkness.

29 For by thee I have run through a troop; and by my God have I leaped over a wall.

30 As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.

31 For who is God save the LORD? or who is a rock save our God?

32 It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect.

33 He maketh my feet like hinds’ feet, and setteth me upon my high places.

34 He teacheth my hands to war, so that a bow of steel is broken by mine arms.

35 Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great.

36 Thou hast enlarged my steps under me, that my feet did not slip

WHO MOURNS THESE?

Deborah Ross (51) and Ersie Charles Everette (58)

2009 Tried to break up, Shot to death at work, in a Tollbooth, and her male friend in a parking lot, ambushed

Cross said the shootings appeared to stem from a domestic dispute as Burris and Deborah Ross, 51, a California Department of Transportation toll booth collector, had recently broken up.

“He clearly had no regard for human life, so we wanted to apprehend him as soon as possible,” Cross said. “We had authorities all throughout Northern California trying to find this guy.”

Burris apparently opened fire with a shotgun shortly before 6 p.m. Tuesday, killing Ross and Ersie Charles Everette, 58, of San Leandro, Calif., who was sitting in his truck in the toll plaza parking lot.

Ross and Burris had shared a house in Richmond, and neighbors said the two had been having financial problems. Richmond Police were called to the house on Saturday, police spokeswoman Sgt. Bisa French said Wednesday. It is unknown what the nature of the call was as no report was taken, French said.

Although their relationship had just ended, Burris was aware of Everette, who drove Ross to work Tuesday, Cross said.

“Somehow, he knew the guy was there at her job, there’s a connection between the two victims, but what that relationship is, we don’t know at this time,” Cross said.

Everette, known as “Chuck” by those who knew him, was a longtime, well-respected bus driver for Golden Gate Transit who had received numerous accolades, spokeswoman Mary Currie said Wednesday.

“He was a likable guy, a good guy,” Currie said. “Passengers liked him. His co-workers liked him.”

Tuesday’s shootings occurred at the bridge over the northern portion of San Francisco Bay that connects well-to-do Marin County with Richmond and other East Bay suburbs. Witnesses said a man used the butt of a shotgun to shatter the window of the No. 3 toll booth, then fired at least three times inside, stunning rush-hour commuters in the westbound lanes before fleeing in the van owned by Western Eagle Shuttle of San Rafael, Calif.

Officers found Ross’ body inside the booth, while Everette was discovered slumped over in a white pickup truck in a nearby parking lot.

> > >

2009/2008 Torres, Catalina (44) & Eustacio (41), Sgt. Paul Starzyk

Brother, Sister, both domestic violence workers, both murdered by an “ex”

According to the San Francisco chronicle, on the evening of July 19th, Eustacio Torres was shot by his ex-girlfriend at a converted garage that Torres was renovating. Torres and his girlfriend, Bernadette Agustin, met about five years ago when Torres was renovating her house. They became partners in that business for a few years. The market started to tumble downhill, and their buildings went into foreclosure causing them to lose money. This caused tension between the couple. After some time, their relationship started to become difficult for both of them. Torres realized that Agustin was dangerous; however he never got a restraining order against her. On the evening on July 19th Agustin went to meet Torres at the garage. Prior to this incident she bought a pistol. She brought shot him with it.

About a year ago Eustacio Torres’ sister, Catalina Torres, a volunteer for a battered women’s group, was shot and killed inside of her Martinez apartment while trying to protect one of her customers in a beauty salon.

Her customer’s husband, Felix Sandoval, entered the beauty salon raged at his wife who had a restraining order against him. Catalina and her customer jetted out of the beauty salon. Sandoval couldn’t find his wife so he followed Torres to her apartment and shot her in the head, simply because she was affiliated with the incident. He then shot at the door and hit Sgt. Paul Starzyk. He still busted in and shot and killed Sandoval.

Since these two murders are a year apart and both victims come from the same family, the Torres family is suffering deeply from these two tragedies.

It is sad, yet ironic how both tragedies happened in the way that they did. They were related and both incidents happened a year apart. Considering the fact that Eustacio, Catalina’s brother had to help bury her, it is sad that he got killed also. They both worked together in a domestic violence group together. Now the Torres family has lost two of their family members to similar incidents.

MARTINEZ — Last September, Catalina Torres’ family struggled to find answers about why she died at the hands of an estranged in-law who also killed a Martinez police sergeant.

> > >

Less than a year later, they find themselves again trying to find clarity after the slaying late last month of her brother, Eustacio Torres, by an estranged girlfriend in San Diego.

According to San Diego police, the bodies of Eustacio Torres, 41, and Bernadette Agustin, 52, were discovered by his nephew — Catalina Torres’ son — in the early-morning hours of July 20 at his home on in the Paradise Hills area. Investigators believe that Agustin shot Eustacio Torres and herself.

Eustacio Torres’ death follows the slaying of his sister Sept. 6, 2008, by Felix Sandoval. Sandoval burst into a Martinez beauty salon looking for his wife. She was not there, and he confronted her cousin, Catalina Torres, at a nearby apartment. While she shielded one of the home’s residents, Sandoval shot and killed her.

Sandoval then shot at police approaching the apartment, mortally wounding Sgt. Paul Starzyk. But Starzyk’s final act was to kill Sandoval, saving the others in the apartment.

Sandoval was in the midst of a divorce from his wife, who had filed a restraining order against him, and Catalina Torres had been supporting her separation from him. In San Diego, Eustacio Torres was severing ties with Agustin. Although the Torres family has experienced two devastating losses, Noe Torres, youngest of the six siblings, said they do not feel like victims.

A memorial fund has been established in Eustacio Torres’ name. Donations can be made at any Wells Fargo Bank branch to the account number 2629533015.

Since these two murders are a year apart and both victims come from the same family, the Torres family is suffering deeply from these two tragedies.
It is sad, yet ironic how both tragedies happened in the way that they did. They were related and both incidents happened a year apart. Considering the fact that Eustacio, Catalina’s brother had to help bury her, it is sad that he got killed also. They both worked together in a domestic violence group together. Now the Torres family has lost two of their family members to similar incidents.

2008 account “Details emerge in Martinez triple shooting:

Catalina Torres survived domestic abuse and became a strong advocate for a nonprofit group that helps victims of domestic violence.

“She was a battered woman who became an advocate,” said Maria Preciado, Torres’ close friend. “She took negative experiences and turned them into positive things.”

In a tragic turn of events, the 44-year-old STAND Against Domestic Violence volunteer lost her life Saturday, an innocent bystander in a deadly domestic disturbance involving her cousin’s estranged husband.

Officers were called to the salon about 11:35 a.m. Saturday on reports of a domestic disturbance. Sandoval broke the salon’s front window with his hand and entered holding a gun, police said. According to witnesses, he was looking for his estranged wife, salon owner Margarita Sandoval.

Martinez police Chief Tom Simonetti said Felix Sandoval, who was waving the gun around, never fired a shot in the salon, but confronted his teenage daughter in the parking lot behind the salon and told her he was going to kill his wife and his other children. Sandoval ran to an upstairs apartment on the opposite side of the parking lot where Torres, an unidentified woman and three of Sandoval’s children were, the chief said.

Elnora Caldwell, 46

She asked for protection

SEPTEMBER 2008, This beautiful woman Tried to Leave, Died, Stabbed, on side of the road

Contra Costa sheriff building death penalty argument in wife stabbing

Investigators said Monday that they are trying to build a death penalty case against an Oakland man who allegedly stabbed his estranged wife near the Caldecott Tunnel and pushed her out of his pickup in front of stunned motorists. Robert Woods, a 47-year-old former maintenance worker for the city of Oakland, was arrested on suspicion of murdering Elnora Caldwell, 46. Caldwellobtained a restraining order against Woods earlier this year, saying she was afraid of him. She was stabbed to death Saturday night and pushed from the pickup on a stretch of Fish Ranch Road that passes over the east end of the Caldecott Tunnel. ..Caldwell’s family members believe she was kidnapped Saturday from her Oakland home, perhaps by someone other than Woods.

Police and witnesses said Woods went to Caldwell’s Oakland apartment and washed up, then turned himself in to an Oakland police officer in the area. More than a dozen motorists stopped to help Caldwell. Some gave her chest compressions and others jotted down the license plate number of the GMC pickup. Alameda County Superior Court records show that Caldwell applied for a domestic violence restraining order against Woods on April 29, and that the order was to be active until 2013.

Caldwell wrote in her application for the restraining order that Woods had shoved her after showing up unannounced at the Nordstrom department store in San Francisco where she worked and accusing her of infidelity. In 2007, she wrote, Woods pulled her hair during an argument in his truck, forcing her to flee and take a taxi home.

In a third incident, Caldwell said, her husband broke a glass sliding door at her apartment.

“It has to stop,” Caldwell wrote of alleged verbal and physical abuse.

Court records show that Woods was fired from his job as a maintenance worker for the city of Oakland last year for allegedly doing drugs and threatening to kill co-workers.

? ? ?

Domestic Violence Murder/Suicides – Here’s a summary:

In the U.S., estimates from the Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) are that more than three women a day are killed by their intimate partners. Women are killed by intimate partners more often than by another acquaintance of stranger.Most of these murders involved were preceded by physical and psychological abuse.

Outside the domestic realm, males are killed much more often than females; they are killed most often in fights with other men.

According to the FBI’s Uniform Crime Reports, 1,055 women and 287 men were murdered by their intimate partners in 2005. These figures are striking, because in the past, in the 1970s and earlier, the numbers of men and women so victimized were about even. In other words, there has been a significant decline in the numbers of men killed by their partners but not for women.

The number of men who were murdered by intimates dropped by 75% between 1976 and 2005 (BJS). The number of black females murdered in this time has declined but the number of white females murdered has dropped only by 6%. Statistics Canada (1998, 2005), similarly, reveals a sharp decline in the numbers of male domestic homicide victims but not of female victims of homicide.

The reason that women are resorting less to murder of their partners is most likely because many of these women were battered women who felt trapped in a dangerous situation. Today, the presence of violence prevention programming and the availability of shelters are paving the way to other options. The fact that domestic violence services apparently are saving the lives of more men than women is a positive, though unintended consequence of the women’s shelter movement (see van Wormer and Bartollas, 2007).

Nina Reiser (31), mother of 2. No asylum in America

2006, Russian-born Oby/Gyn tries to divorce Hans Reiser (WIKIPEDIA) but disappears on exchange of children

Hans Reiser Admits to Murdering Nina Reiser, Pleads to Reduced …

In 1998, while working in Saint Petersburg, Russia, Hans Reiser reportedly selected from a mail-order bride catalogue,^[9] and subsequently married, Nina Sharanova (Нина Шаранова), a Russian-born and trained obstetrician and gynecologist^[10] who was studying to become an American licensed OB/GYN. Reiser himself stated that he met Nina when he went to a date set up by a Russian dating service; Nina had come along to translate for his date. . . .

In May, Nina Reiser alleged in court filings that her husband had failed to pay 50 percent medical expenses and childcare expenses as ordered by a judge and was in arrears for more than $12,000. ^[13]

Recovery of Nina’s body and sentencing

According to officials, prosecutors agreed to a deal whereby Reiser would reveal the location of his wife’s body in exchange for pleading guilty to second-degree murder. The deal was made with the agreement of Nina’s family, but was subject to final approval by Judge Goodman.^[45]^[46] On Monday, July 7, 2008, Reiser led police to Nina’s body buried in the Oakland hills. Reiser’s attorney, William DuBois, who was handcuffed to Reiser and accompanied by a heavy police guard to the site, said that the remains were found buried on the side of a hill between Redwood Regional Park and the Huckleberry Botanic Regional Preserve, less than half a mile (< 800 m) from the home on Exeter Drive where Reiser lived with his mother, and where Nina Reiser was last seen alive on 3 September 20

Anastasia Melnitchenko, 22, unmarried, No asylum in America

2005 Tried to break up, stalked; a clearly preventable homicide — her body found in car trunk

Body-in-trunk suspect got lots of counseling

‘Doing satisfactorily’ after 6 months of weekly sessions

He was fulfilling that obligation Oct. 19, two days before Melnitchenko disappeared, when he attended a weekly session of a program in Richmond run by Priority Male Center for Positive Peaceful Living

Jaxon Van Derbeken, Chronicle Staff Writer

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

The El Sobrante man charged with murdering a woman he had repeatedly terrorized attended a two-hour counseling session for domestic violence offenders just days before the slaying, authorities said Tuesday.

McAlpin was on probation stemming from eight felony convictions in two separate cases for stalking, threatening and attacking Melnitchenko on several occasions from 2001 to 2004. Part of his sentence in the most recent case was that he attend a yearlong domestic violence prevention program.

THE BEST WAY TO “PREVENT” VIOLENCE IS TO SEND A CLEAR MESSAGE TO GIVE NO QUARTER TO PERPERTRATORS. MCALPIN WAS A COCKY OVERENTITLED YOUNG MAN WITH NO RESPECT FOR THE WOMAN, OR THE LAW — AND FROM THE STORY, IT’S CLEAR WHY HE HAD NO REASON TO RESPECT THE LAW, TOO. I DNR BUT I SUSPECT HE WAS WHITE. I DON’T THINK THIS POOR WOMAN EVER EVEN LIVED WITH HIM. THEY DATED BRIEFLY. SHE DIED. THE STORY OF HER DEATH INTERSECTS WITH THE STORY OF A JUDGE WITH A MISSION; I MAY TELL IT ANOTHER TIME. THIS EVENT INTERSECTS WITH MY ATTEMPTS TO GET HELP IN 2005, THE SAME YEAR. I REMEMBER TRYING TO TELL MY FAMILY THAT THIS STALKING, THESE INDICATORS, SPELLED TROUBLE! MY PROBLEM WAS WHO I TOLD, WHO I SOUGHT HELP FROM, AS WAS ANASTASIA’S.

Taking matters into their own hand; two brothers kill widow & her relatives:

**Winta Mehari, 28; her brother Yonas Mehari, 17;**

and their mother, 50-year-old Regbe Bahrengasi

Widow and HER relatives killed in revenge, seeking money, by deceased husband’s relatives. 2 year old involved.

2006 – No Asylum for Eritrean Family from revenge, greed,

extortion? in the Golden State

Planned to exterminate family during Thanksgiving Dinner?

ALAMEDA — A dispute over money was the cause of the shooting deaths of three members of an Eritrean family in Oakland on Thanksgiving Day, a relative of the victims alleged Tuesday after the suspects in the case were arraigned on charges that could bring them the death penalty.

Asmeron Gebreselassie, 43, the suspected gunman, and 39-year-old Tewodros Gebreselassie were each charged Tuesday with three counts of murder; one count of attempted murder for the non-fatal shooting of Yehtram Mehari, the brother of Winta and Yonas; one count of kidnapping for allegedly taking Winta Mehari’s 2-year-old son from the scene; and two counts of false imprisonment involving two other family members, Angersom Mehari and Merhawi Mehari.

They also were charged with two special circumstances murder allegations that could earn them the death penalty: multiple murder and murder during the course of a kidnapping.

The victims and the defendants were all members of Oakland’s sizable Eritrean community. About 50 members of that community, many dressed in traditional Eritrean clothing, packed Tuesday’s court hearing.

Oakland police say they think the motive for the shooting at the Keller Plaza apartment complex at 5301 Telegraph Ave. in Oakland about 3 p.m. on Thanksgiving was that the Gebreselassie brothers wanted revenge for the death of their brother, Abraham Tewolde, 42, on March 1.

Police said Abraham Tewolde’s cause of death was undetermined and his brothers were suspicious of Winta Mehari, his widow.

Keflezighi said Tewolde died of natural causes but Tewolde’s family members asked Mehari’s family members to give them money.

I REMEMBER THIS ONE. I WAS DRIVING TO EAT DINNER, TAKEN CHARITABLY IN, NOT WITH MY DAUGHTERS, BECAUSE THEY’D ALREADY BEEN TAKEN, COMPLICIT WITH MY OWN FAMILY AND AROUND MONEY ISSUES ALSO. I RAN INTO POLICE CARS & TV CAMERAS BLOCKING THE WAY.

Was this misogyny? Was this something like an honor killing? What WAS this? A young man, apparently a good one, was killed, victim to two men seeking revenge on his mother. His crime? Being a brother, apparently!

Meanwhile, students and teachers at Berkeley High School were mourning the death of Yonas Mehari. The boys varsity soccer team, which he played on, wore black armbands in his honor and dedicated its season to him Monday night.

All the victims and suspects were immigrants from Eritrea, and the killings have shocked the East Bay’s tightly-knit community from that small East African nation. Many people packed the courtroom today, and others without seats waited in the hallway.

Hundreds of mourners have been visiting the apartment complex, home to a large number of Eritreans and Ethiopians, to pay their respects. Many have also brought food for the family and donated money for transporting the three bodies to Eritrea for burial, for medical bills for others injured in the attack and for care of Winta’s Mehari’s son.

Police said the brothers, who also live in the apartment complex, were angry at Winta Mehari over the unexplained death of their brother, Abraham Tewolde, 42, who was her husband. A mechanic who ran a small auto shop on Broadway, Tewolde collapsed and died March 1. An autopsy was unable to determine the cause of his death, coroner’s officials said.

Police said the Gebreselassie brothers suspected Winta Mehari had some role in her husband’s death. Tewodros Gebreselassie, an engineer, attended the party at the Mehari’s third-floor apartment on Thanksgiving, and police said he admitted to helping his brother plan the attack.

Witnesses told police that Tewodros Gebreselassie was talking on his cell phone and said, “Yeah, they’re all here,” according to court records. Minutes later he opened the apartment door for Asmeron Gebreselassie, who then opened fire on the Mehari family. When the shooting started, Tewodros Gebreselassie grabbed his 2-year-old nephew, Winta Mehari’s son, and carried him back to the second-floor apartment where the Gebreselassie lived, witnesses said.

Asmeron Gebreselassie also shot his brother-in-law Yehtram Mehari in the foot, witnesses told police. Another brother, Angersom Mehari, jumped out a window and suffered a broken back. A third brother, Merhawi Mehari, hid in the closet and avoided injury.

Police found the boy unharmed after the two brothers surrendered to a SWAT team following a brief standoff at their apartment. The guns he allegedly used were later found, police said.

At Berkeley High School, students, teachers and counselors spent Monday and today remembering the 17-year-old Yonas Mehari, who played soccer, ran cross country and helped tutor other students.

“I’ve known him for four years, and I really saw him as a leader, an independent thinker and just a really sweet kid to be around,” said Kristin Glenchur, athletic director at Berkeley High. “He was always around volunteering for something” such as working the scoreboards during football games or the concession stands, she said.

His slain mother was active in the Eritrean Orthodox Church in Oakland and was popular among her immigrant community, estimated by the Eritrean consulate in Oakland at to be about 3,000 people.

Donations to the Mehari Family Fund can be deposited at any Bank of America branch under account number 0560942210.

SUMMARY:

Sometimes there is no refuge from family violence — members take the law into their own hands; oftentimes greed is a factor, as in many cases above. McAlpin appears to have just been a man with a mission intersecting with a system with a different mission. She got cross in the cross-fire of attempts to reform a man after: kidnapping, stalking, assault, and threats to kill.

How IMPORTANT is it that the United States set the standard that misogyny is “anathema” it’s unacceptable?

I fear that Senator Ted, Presidents Bush, Clinton, and now Obama, have failed to do this. Moreover, women’s groups also, subject to the same human emotions, claw and fight each other sometimes to the top, seeking scarce prestige, or abundant federal funds. This is also a spinoff of misogyny. We who watch such things don’t see such huge, huge divides among the men’s groups. We have now an older Republican white President, a young and charming (and philandering) white President, and an even younger and MORE charming African-American President, all united in fixing the crises of fatherlessness, and making sure that mothers don’t actually get to (safely) fulfil their motherhood unless a man is present, and it’s CLEAR we do not have have equal protection or rights under law, despite the claims to the contrary. If so, where are all the dead men on the side of the road simply for leaving? Where are the women blowing away a few family generations to take the law into their own hands? They just aren’t there!

I should be more respectful, and I will take another day to be so, of the passing of a major political figure this week, Senator Ted Kennedy.

I wish I did not have a troubling memory of his womanizing, of the two programs he promoted the mOST (education/health) which have negatively affected my family the MOST. I wish that the date of his passing did not coincide with the date my kids were stolen, yet remain within (at last sighting) driving distance, but inaccessible to me, because I simply took a stand against misogyny and violence.

I took a stand for telling the truth in court, and not mincing words. Perhaps I am very disrespectful.

I wish I were not thinking of how he endorsed our current President, for whom I too voted, not being fully aware of his stance on the ubiquitous and impoverishing, endangering to women “fatherhood” movement. It is never enough, never enough — always another initiative, another grant, through churches, through family members when they are themselves swept up and confronted by their failure to confront, and through family law system, and through an unbelievably condescending virtual caste system by the elite making it near impossible for less fortunate to escape the economic abuse that would enable them to escape threats of injury, death, having children abducted, either by the ex or through the courts or (case in point) both, and through violence to our civil rights within this nation.

They said Sen. Kennedy worked like a dog, and i believe it. Some of us do, too, on a single issue that doesn’t often go away. I never tried to raise his offspring, and I do not appreciate his or any other administration , or their programs, just because they have the platform, prating on about how to raise mine, married or single, through a burdensome system that doesn’t even impart decent values, let alone decent academics. And in 20 years of THIS battle, I’ve never had a hand laid on any of mine, anything that was mine, or on ME, from someone who openly said he or she hated me or wanted to hurt me.

It was always from the “helpers” and those “concerned.” Sure. . . .

But in re:

Kennedy’s Battle With Cancer Lost

U.S. has lost a great statesman, obviously. But before this, long before this, we have lost something else. We have lost self-respect as individuals, and transferred it to our leaders, HOPING in them. This is misplaced hope too often, and it’s unwise.

Jeremiah was a prophet who watched and spoke out against the deterioration of his nation: For this, he got left in a pit without water, and would’ve starved there, were he not later rescued. Later, Jesus Christ, also preaching “repent” got crucified.

Jeremiah 17

.

5 Thus saith the LORD: Cursed is the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD.

6 For he shall be like the heath in the desert, and shall not see when good cometh; but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, a salt land and not inhabited.

7 Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.

8 For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out his roots by the river, and shall not fear when heat cometh, but his leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.

9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is desperately sick: who can know it?

10 I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.

11 As the partridge that gathereth young which she hath not brought forth, so is he that getteth riches, and not by right; in the midst of his days they shall leave him, and at his end he shall be a fool.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

For the past 20 years, I have sought refuge in my home, from my home, from my family’s close resonance to the tune my ex-husband played. I have a logical mind, and mind seeks logic to piece a life together, even if the logic is to accept chaos. But I HAVE found a logic to the, what I will call, narcissistic, self-referential habit of federal domination of the markets — well MOST markets. Education, family design, health care, welfare, child-bearing practically, and reform.

The U.S. is succeeding at incarceration — we are the world’s LARGEST jailor — and failing at education. The reason we are failing at education is because we have trusted our leaders to design a system. Instead, they designed an ECONOMY to support themselves, and placed our children at its mercy. This was a transformational system of values sold as good, but not in practice good. It is possible to succeed very well in this educational system and be an utter failure as a person. It is also possible to fail in this system and be a business success. Or to fail all round.

I am 50-plus. At this age, I had to pick WHAT to dedicate what’s left of my life to; and it was a hard choice between Family Law system and Educational System. Both systems hurt my kids and my family, and are creating the tiered society, while claiming to provide the opposite. I have a relative with her own children run through a private school system that took offence that i too — in a different way — opted out of the local public schools. In truth, I believe that if our daughters succeeded without wealth at what she’d sacrificed to become wealthy and with wealth BUY, it would somehow show up her life plan. Our respective nieces might be competing for similar college slots – – I don’t know.

But I have watched close up, and then system-wide, forced failure and social exclusion for simply doing something about it. So have many fellow-blogger mothers (see right column).

Look at this graphic:

(it’s an old one) from “America, What Went Wrong“? An book that documents the destruction of the middle class.

An INDEPENDENT middle class, with time to think, and understanding basic business principles, will hold its government accountable. A DEPENDENT (upon professional jobs, many of them government-sanctioned or supplied), which my generation came from (but not my parents) will indeed do the dirty work and bidding of the top group, keeping the heirarchy in place.

From 1990 to 2009, I have been overexposed to impoverishment, and how it’s manufactured. I watched my husband do this, in order to keep himself on top, he was willing that the ship should go down. Nothing more mattered, and all discussions were moot (or off) that didn’t first establish this dominance. Neither I nor our children were actually to show up as people, or with needs, but as performers.

Now, according to the myths taught in public school (and elsewhere) about HOW government works (which dealing with in-home abuse didn’t really leave time for an official study of), it should be possible to leave the situation. No one should care HOW I leave it, so long as it’s done legally and without harm to our children. However once we showed up as a household, without a resident male, in waltzed the “experts,” ignoring the facts, the danger, the track record, and proudly proclaiming situations that didn’t exist as though they did.

Having some exposure to the Bible and its language, this was easy to detect as playing “god.” And naturally, I protested.

And so, the divide and conquer of the middle class, overeducated fools (lots of academia, insufficient truly hard times), scrabbling to assert their intellectual dominance and right to explain away that violence happened in their family, and they, too, failed to report.

In the long run, I chalk it up to basic human emotions of (1) pride (2) fear (3) greed (4) prejudice (THIs kind, “misogyny.”) Where logic fails, dominance by gender — or age (it keeps flipping around, the varieties of messages I get), only a few years — or marital status, or SOMETHING to preserve the us/them, Object/subject relationship which is not a human relationship. Because surely they didn’t misdiagnose a situation, the judges were wrong, I was wrong, the statistics were wrong, everyone else was wrong, and this intact family unit (sort of) was “right.” Or else. . . . . Social shunning was tried, and I didn’t repent, to the antes were upped, and my kids were stolen, and all contact cut off.

Perhaps it is because of working so hard on these issues, I have been watching politics from afar.

Perhaps it is because of these issues, I have a different “take” on the passing of a Senator that was compared last night to Daniel Webster and Henry Clay. The words “dynasty” may apply, but these are NOT words coherent with the U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights.

Here’s a woman talking sense:

In THE SHOCK DOCTRINE, Naomi Klein explodes the myth that the global free market triumphed democratically. Exposing the thinking, the money trail and the puppet strings behind the world-changing crises and wars of the last four decades, The Shock Doctrine is the gripping story of how America’s “free market” policies have come to dominate the world– through the exploitation of disaster-shocked people and countries.

At the most chaotic juncture in Iraq’s civil war, a new law is unveiled that would allow Shell and BP to claim the country’s vast oil reserves…. Immediately following September 11, the Bush Administration quietly out-sources the running of the “War on Terror” to Halliburton and Blackwater…. After a tsunami wipes out the coasts of Southeast Asia, the pristine beaches are auctioned off to tourist resorts…. New Orleans’s residents, scattered from Hurricane Katrina, discover that their public housing, hospitals and schools will never be reopened…. These events are examples of “the shock doctrine”: using the public’s disorientation following massive collective shocks – wars, terrorist attacks, or natural disasters — to achieve control by imposing economic shock therapy. Sometimes, when the first two shocks don’t succeed in wiping out resistance, a third shock is employed: the electrode in the prison cell or the Taser gun on the streets.

This is the theme of the National Fatherhood Initiative, there is a “crisis in fatherlessness.” I have watched these manufactured crises on a personal level and also a national level and have begun to get an understanding of some of the causes and sources, ONE of which is most definitely the educational system. Divide and conquer, and assume control of assets and assessments. That’s elementary. One very empowering activity, to young people, is the arts, and self-sufficiency. No problem. Delete the arts, if possible, and free time, and uninterrupted quantities of time for reflection, and also do not study (honestly) either history or the economic system, in particular not the history of any system one is currently in. Again, I saw this in my marriage, how the most basic amenities were threatening to my “intimate partner.” THE most threatening one apparently was access to a steady cash flow. If I got this by working, the reserves must be eliminated by his working less, or making the process of getting to/from work more burdensome and timesconsuming. Rooms got trashed or re-arranged while I was out, at class or working or with the kids. There was no stability. Once you get the pattern, it’s only a matter of breaking it. My writing (I was also journaling the abuse) threatened this person. I exported the journals. He exported his behind and friendship to the people into whose care I’d put them. I went and got them back. . . . . But it was too late. They had to be turned, I guess (?).

Here’s another one which speaks to it about “lockdown” of the fortress continents. Care must be taken to incorporate cheap labor:

Fortress continents

The US and Europe are both creating multi-tiered regional strongholds

There is so much in life to be considered, but in considering memorials, again, I keep coming back to scripture:

“Pray for kings and all that are in authority, that we may live a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.” (I Tim. 2:1).

“It is not good to have respect of persons.” (James).

You know what, with all due respect, it’s not. LIFE is about what you respect, and who you honor: Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, soul, mind and strength, and thy neighbor as thyself.”

There is not to be a tiered respect of people according to how MUCH of this world they’ve changed. We, ALL of us in the U.S., are to respect ourselves, and the founding principles of this country, which then allow us to respect at LEAST our neighbors.

“Love worketh no ill towards his neighbor.”

Sometimes it’s simply in what one does NOT do, that love.

So, below are my unforgiveable (??) thoughts, in respect that a Senator has died, on seeing the extensive television recognition of this man, and hearing about what he had been doing while I was across the country, trying to stay afloat and keep the pilot light lit in my own life, spiritually and physically.

And I have to go about what’s left of this day, seeking funds sufficient for today and build something to tomorrow.

I saw a charming, Robert-Redford smile, and I thought about Chappaquiddick,

about this man’s marriage to a woman 22 years his junior, a 38 year old divorced attorney single mother, and wondered things that were less respectful than appropriate. I thought about the CFDA pie chart I know, where his two most passionate areas: Education and Health — were THE largest and most impoverishing segments of the budget; and the effect of this incredible top-heavy Federal language transformation into a welfare state directing lives of the lowly.

It did not help when I learned that this person was a prime author of the “No Child Left Behind” act and a real pusher of Head Start. Trust the elite to prescribe for the poor every time. It is also quite unfortunate that his death this week commemorates about 3 years fo the “death” of my relationship with my own daughters, and primarily because I REFUSED to accept that poverty resulting from violence should result in becoming a surrogate womb for childless narcissistic relatives convinced that, having not experienced what my daughters and I did, or accepted court rulings already made, that they, TOO, “knew what was best” for three females leaving family violence. When I refused, I was punished by these people, and part of the punishment was declaring what I provided for our daughters, either was irrelevant and did not exist, and what they wished instead, was somehow superior.

The punishment included the gradual deletion of the arts, the dumbing down of my children, the deletion of jobs in my profession (in the arts) because of the need to fight family!, and eventually the criminal removal of children (minors) from my household in order to, ostensibly, “rescue” them somehow, by totally removing all contact with a law abiding, working, intelligent, informed and independent mother. I have had cause and many years to reflect on the benefits and fallbacks of my own, and my ex-spouses public educations amid dysfuncitonal families, mine in a different way from his, and the values that differ.

This gives a totally different perspective on “No Child Left Behind,” when one realizes that the children of those promoting this policies (if such exist) do not always attend public schools, and if they did, they are not in lower-income neighborhoods. To me, the mark of acceptability is, if it’s good enough for YOUR child, then I’ll listen.

I’ll finish with this well-written summary:

MichaelMoore.com Commemoration

August 26th, 2009 2:25 am
Ted Kennedy Dies of Brain Cancer at Age 77

‘Liberal Lion’ of the Senate Led Storied Political Family After Deaths of President John F. Kennedy, Sen. Robert F. Kennedy

ABC News

Aug. 26, 2009 — Sen. Ted Kennedy died shortly before midnight Tuesday at his home in Hyannis Port, Mass., at age 77.

The man known as the “liberal lion of the Senate” had fought a more than year-long battle with brain cancer, and according to his son had lived longer with the disease than his doctors expected him to.

“We’ve lost the irreplaceable center of our family and joyous light in our lives, but the inspiration of his faith, optimism, and perseverance will live on in our hearts forever,” the Kennedy family said in a statement. “He loved this country and devoted his life to serving it.”

Sen. Edward Moore Kennedy, the youngest Kennedy brother who was left to head the family’s political dynasty after his brothers President John F. Kennedy and Sen. Robert F. Kennedy were assassinated.

Kennedy championed health care reform, working wages and equal rights in his storied career. In August, he was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom — the nation’s highest civilian honor — by President Obama. His daughter, Kara Kennedy, accepted the award on his behalf.

Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, known as Ted or Teddy, was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor in May 2008 and underwent a successful brain surgery soon after that. But his health continued to deteriorate, and Kennedy suffered a seizure while attending the luncheon following President Barack Obama’s inauguration.

For Kennedy, the ascension of Obama was an important step toward realizing his goal of health care reform.

At the Democratic National Convention in August 2008, the Massachusetts Democrat promised, “I pledge to you that I will be there next January on the floor of the United States Senate when we begin the great test.”

Sen. Kennedy made good on that pledge, but ultimately lost his battle with cancer.

Kennedy was first elected to the Senate in 1962, at the age of 30, and his tenure there would span four decades.

A hardworking, well-liked politician who became the standard-bearer of his brothers’ liberal causes, his career was clouded by allegations of personal immorality and accusations that his family’s clout helped him avoid the consequences of an accident that left a young woman dead.

But for the younger members of the Kennedy clan, from his own three children to those of his brothers JFK and RFK, Ted Kennedy — once seen as the youngest and least talented in a family of glamorous overachievers — was both a surrogate father and the center of the family.

And certainly it was Ted Kennedy who bore many of the tragedies of the family — the violent deaths of four of his siblings, his son’s battle with cancer, and the death of his nephew John F. Kennedy Jr. in a plane crash.

Kennedy, Youngest Kennedy Brother, Led Political Dynasty in Wake of Tragedy

Edward Moore Kennedy was born in Brookline, Mass., on Feb. 22, 1932, the ninth and youngest child of Joseph P. Kennedy and Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy.

His father, a third-generation Irish-American who became a multimillionaire businessman and served for a time as a U.S. ambassador to Britain, had risen high and was determined that his sons would rise higher still.

Overshadowed by his elder siblings, Teddy, as he was known to family and friends, grew up mostly in the New York City suburb of Bronxville, N.Y., and attended private boarding schools. He was expelled from Harvard during his freshman year after he asked a friend to take an exam for him.

After a two-year stint in the Army, Kennedy returned to earn degrees at Harvard and then the University of Virginia law school. He married Virginia Joan Bennett, known by her middle name, in 1958. The couple would have three children, Kara, Teddy Jr. and Patrick.

By the time he reached adulthood, tragedy had already claimed some of his siblings: eldest brother Joe Jr. was killed in World War II, sister Kathleen died in a plane crash, and another sister, Rosemary, who was mildly retarded, had to be institutionalized following a botched lobotomy.

But then the family hit its pinnacle in 1960, when John F. Kennedy became president.

His brother’s ascension created a political opportunity, and Joe Kennedy decided he should take over JFK’s Senate seat. Ted Kennedy was only 28 at the time — two years short of the required age — so a family friend was found to hold the temporary appointment.

In 1962, Ted Kennedy — backed by his family money and the enthusiasm his name generated among Massachusetts’ Catholics, was elected to the Senate.

The Only One Left

In 1963, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas. His brother Robert became the focus of the family’s — and much of the country’s — dreams.

Following the tragedy in Dallas, Robert and Ted Kennedy became closer than they had ever been as children.

“When I was working for Robert Kennedy, there was hardly a day in which the two of them didn’t physically get together, I would say at least three or four times,” said Frank Mankiewicz, who served as an aide to Robert Kennedy. “I mean, if, if Sen. Robert Kennedy wasn’t in his office, and nobody knew where he was, chances are he was seeing Ted about something.”

Five years later, while pursuing the Democratic presidential nomination in 1968 against Lyndon Johnson, Sen. Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed. That left Ted as the only surviving Kennedy son.

“He seriously contemplated getting out of politics after Robert’s death,” said Kennedy biographer Adam Clymer. “He thought, you know, it might just be too much. He might be too obviously the next target and all of that. But he decided to stick it out and as he said on more than one occasion, pick up a fallen standard.”

Kennedy was seen by many as his brothers’ heir, and perhaps he could have won the White House had he stepped into the presidential race then. But he didn’t. And the very next year there occurred a tragedy that would forever block Ted Kennedy’s presidential ambitions.

In July 1969, following a party on Martha’s Vineyard, Kennedy drove off a bridge on the tiny Massachusetts island of Chappaquiddick. The car plunged into the water. Kennedy escaped, but his passenger did not.

Kennedy later said he dived into the water repeatedly in a vain attempt to save Mary Jo Kopechne, one of the “boiler room girls” who had worked on Bobby Kennedy’s campaign. But Kopechne, 28, drowned, still trapped in the car.

Questions arose about how Kennedy had known Kopechne — he denied any “private relationship,” and Kopechne’s parents also insisted there was no relationship — and why he failed to report the accident for about nine hours.

Kennedy pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of leaving the scene of an accident. He received a two-month suspended sentence and lost his driver’s license for a year, but the political price was higher.

Kennedy was re-elected to the Senate in 1970, but the accident at Chappaquiddick effectively squashed his presidential hopes.

He ran unsuccessfully for the Democratic nomination in 1979 against incumbent President Jimmy Carter.

Once when his daughter Kara, then 19, was passing out campaign leaflets, a man took one and said to her, “You know your father killed a young woman about your age, don’t you?”

Kennedy Curse: Political Power, Personal Tragedy

Sen. Ted Kennedy was not done confronting personal tragedy.

In 1973, 12-year-old Teddy Jr. was diagnosed with bone cancer, and he had to have a leg amputated. Kennedy’s marriage to Joan deteriorated. Some blamed her drinking, others cited his alleged womanizing. The couple divorced in 1981.

In contrast, Kennedy’s career in the Senate continued to flourish.

He supported teachers’ unions, women’s and abortion rights, and health care reform. He sponsored the Family and Medical Leave Act. And he was seen as a stalwart of the Democratic Party, delivering several rousing speeches at conventions.

Former Boston Glober reporter Tom Oliphant, who covered Kennedy’s career in Washington, observed, “It’s not all back slapping and, and personal relationships. I think one of the things that sets Kennedy’s politics apart is his, what I call his dirty little secret. He works like a dog.”

Political analyst Mark Shields said Kennedy’s “concerns were national concerns, but his forum for achieving his ends and changing policy, became the Senate. And he mastered it like nobody else I’ve ever seen.”

But another family incident exposed Kennedy’s vulnerabilities and held him up to public censure.

A nephew, William Kennedy Smith, was accused of raping a woman at the family’s estate in Palm Beach, Fla. The case generated lurid headlines around the world. Kennedy was at the estate at the time of the alleged attack and had been at the bar where Smith met his accuser.

Eyebrows were raised even further when a young woman who had been with Kennedy’s son Patrick that night revealed that she had seen the senator roaming around the house at night, wearing an oxford shirt but no trousers.

Smith was acquitted following a highly sensational trial, but the incident definitely left a dent in Kennedy’s armor. His alleged heavy drinking and womanizing were widely lampooned, and in October 1991 he thought it prudent to be low-key in his opposition to Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas, who had been accused of sexually harassing a former subordinate.

Kennedy’s life, both professional and personal, took a turn for the better in 1992.

He married Victoria Reggie, a divorced attorney with two children from a previous marriage, Curran and Caroline. That year Kennedy also supported Bill Clinton, an open admirer of the Kennedy clan.

“Well, sometime during our courtship, I realized that I didn’t want to live the rest of my life without Vicky,” Kennedy said about his wife of nearly 30 years. “And since we have been together, it’s made my life a lot more fulfilling. I think more serene, kind of emotional stability.”

Elected in 1992, President Bill Clinton appointed Kennedy’s sister, Jean Kennedy Smith, ambassador to Ireland. And in 1994, Kennedy had the satisfaction of seeing his son Patrick elected to the House of Representatives from Rhode Island.

But tragedy returned that year.

In May 1994, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis died of cancer. Kennedy had remained close to his sister-in-law, who once quit her job at a publisher’s after it came out with an unflattering biography of Ted.

Kennedy’s Battle With Cancer Lost

Kennedy had served as a surrogate father for many of his nephews and nieces, but he may have been closest to Jackie’s children, Caroline and John F. Kennedy Jr.

He was horrified when in July 1999, five years after Jackie’s death, John Jr. and his bride of two years, Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, along with her sister Lauren Bessette, were killed when the small plane John was piloting crashed off the Massachusetts island of Martha’s Vineyard.

Sen. Kennedy led the family during the harrowing wait for information as Coast Guard crews searched for the missing plane.

When the bodies were retrieved from the ocean, Kennedy and his two sons went to identify the remains. The senator’s eulogy for his nephew who “had every gift but length of years” and “the wife who became his perfect soul mate” touched grief-stricken Americans.

It was an all-too-familiar sight for those who remember Ted Kennedy mourning the deaths of his brothers John and Robert, and helping the family bear up after the deaths of Robert’s sons David and Michael.

For decades, it was Ted Kennedy who carried the burden and led the way as the patriarch of a family seen as America’s answer to royalty.

With all due respect, we do not need any more royalty in this country. We need to set our sites on something invisible, something written, but something of principle, that unites us. Our leaders need to stick to that, and out of respect to OURSELVES ,we should demand that.

Written by Let's Get Honest|She Looks It Up

August 27, 2009 at 1:49 pm

Who’s actually TALKS with the REAL stakeholders when it comes to Stalking, Domestic Violence (not “abuse”), and Child Abuse??

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I have a question, after finding an unusually honest commentary on how the model code for stalking laws was developed. I’ve spent some years, in the process of seeking help, becoming acquainted with the standards for what makes sense, according to LOTS of organizations. I then tried to bring this common sense into actual practice in our own case after it hit the family law venue.

Yeah, right..

I have a question. As usual, thinking aloud (and posting as I go), the introduction gets longer and the original content that inspired the post, lower and lower. Presently, scroll down to just below all the graphics (logos) and there’s the question, and in primarily BLUE content, the quote that started today’s post.

Eventually, over the years, I got to the point of connecting more and more dots, including why would it take this amount of diligent searching by a woman with two college degrees and highly motivated to get some answers, to come to the inclusion that the tipping point is where the intent to publish hits the point to put it into practice. This is a fulcrum.

Eventually I stopped just reading only content, and started paying more attention to in which publication things were published (most of which I couldn’t afford to subscribe to). THEN I started connecting which nonprofit (or, some of these are almost exclusively the project of some government grants, and say so right on the websites) with which publication, which which professionals. This is what would in interpersonal interactions be called “body language.” Only, without warm bodies and live voices and actual interaction face to face, the next best substitute, especially for those without a travel fund, is sometimes a little background check. On-line. Free.

What I post here today was written a while back by a professional now involved in addressing some family court issues, and who I hope to meet someday soon. We appear to have been circling around geographically within a few miles of each other, but consistently in different venues. In other words, she has worked for and at organizations I’ve sought help from and whose halls I’ve sat in as a “client.”

It’s probably time to make a phone call. Meanwhile, today’s a difficult time for me, and I can’t quite say why without revealing which case. Please bare with some of the over-writing here, and understand why today (and I acknowledge, yesterday), sarcasm is pretty high. Fact is, I miss my daughters, and it’s the beginning of a school year. Instead, I get the back hand and the ugly side (or no side at all) of the parent and other adults in control of their lives. I can and have read law, and after looking, still don’t see that I’ve committed a crime in these matters, and I most certainly HAVE seen and identified several ones committed since the case switched from civil to family law, which I to this day believe is where batterers go to hide, and keep up the same pattern of behavior, only with more validation.

Oops, there I go again.

ANYHOW, as to the conferences and subscriptions, I have a suggestion: Instead of a grant to explicate the context of domestic violence in custody decisions (apparently a recent one) and the “Domestic Violence Conference of the Decade,” whose speakers and sponsoring organizations I did take a pretty good (on-line) look at — and got the general picture for sure — and ANOTHER one I just heard of today:

(boy, the logos, and PR, and branding, is getting more and more professional!):

(SEE: http://dvinstitute.org), which it appears just happened in Detroit. . ..

Here’s another one about to happen in San Diego:

http://dvinstitute.org/announces/files/Partial%20Brochure-5-18.pdf

The logo makes me think I’m back in grade school again (check it out — I couldn’t click & drag).

It has a wooden post with 3 pointers, “Future, Present, Past” all askew on a sky background.

“FUTURE” is pointing right (the only one pointing right) and UP (ditto).
Present is horizontal and point left, indicating a change of direction. From WHAT?
Past is pointing left and down. Talk about not very subtle.

I could suggest some more detailed logos. Perhaps the length of the line I stood in yesterday for $15.00 coupon to go get food, which allowed me to get some nonfoods, which Food Stamps program, onto which I’ve been forced back because of former failed systems, most of which interfered with My system called, working! and complying with court orders. Because we might also have a problem with drugs, alcohol or tobacco, or who knows, perhaps just for simplicity, and of course for the safety of those distributing (i.e., no cash), we could only go to ONE store (a few miles away, which is great for those without cars, with children, and poor enough to need help with food). I figure out the expense to time ratio of this, and between wait, and buses, it was approximately $4.00/food benefit per hour, four hours expended in getting coupon and food. Not including getting home with it. A far cry from a conference.

This line contained live people with real stories, and mostly people of color, different colors, sizes, and manners; most of them also, women, many with children, and each with a story, and their own method of dealing with the long wait. It was detailed and usually cheerful, this waiting is routine. I didn’t see anyone I recognized although I’d been there many times before.

Perhaps I should show some children crying, with a forensic child psychologist, or CPS worker. Perhaps I should show a woman crying. Perhaps I should show General Assistance being cut (as it is) to make way for some of the grants I’ve been blogging on, including yesterday.

If economic distress causes violence (I don’t believe it does) than perhaps this is partly why. But an inane signpost over these words? – –

A New Direction for a Safer Tomorrow: National Conference on Supervised Visitation and Safe Exchange

Yeah, that and a new specialty in the field, too. . . . . Not THAT new, but apparently . . . .

The National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges and the Office on Violence Against

Women are proud to sponsor the first National Conference on Supervised Visitation and Safe

Exchange. This conference will inform professionals (WILL INFORM WHOM?? WHOM????)

about how to provide supervised visitation and safe exchange services that account for (HOW ABOUT PREVENT??) domestic violence.

THink about this: if there is a need for supervised visitation and safe exchange, that means domestic violence is already there.

Pare

nts who don’t threaten to abduct, or hurt a Mom without supervision, or do this (and many do), wouldn’t need this.

National experts will provide education on safety for adult victims and children; services for diverse populations; community

collaboration; and advocacy, in the context of domestic violence and supervised visitation and

safe exchange. The conference will highlight effective practice and programs, offer tips and

tools, provide an opportunity for networking, and inspire and invigorate participants.

Expert Faculty . . .

(I dare site visitors here to look up each and every expert and determine where they are coming from, and who pays their organization’s bills.. . . . . . )

Would you like to see a similar brochure? OK, here. I found it (this search) at

http://parentalalienationcanada.blogspot.com/2009/02/domestic-violence-conference-of-decade.html

California Alliance for Families and Children

cafcusa.org

Please forward to colleagues and friends

Family Violence Treatment and Education Association (FAVTEA)

favtea.com

THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CONFERENCE OF THE DECADE!

From Ideology to Inclusion 2009:

New Directions in Domestic Violence Research and Intervention

With Featured Presentations By:
Murray Straus, PhD	*	Deborah Capaldi, PhD	*	Don Duton, PhD {{NOTE: S/BE “DUTTON”}}
K. Daniel O’Leary, PhD	*	Sandra Stith, PhD	*	Richard Gelles, PhD

Also Featuring:
Sarah Avery-Leaf, PhD	*	Mohammed Boabaid, PhD	*	Ellen Bowen, LCSW
Jan Brown	*	Wendy Bunston, MFT	*	Michelle Carney, PhD
Ken Corvo, PhD	*	Carol Crabsen, LCSW	*	Christopher Eckhardt, PhD
Lynette Feder, PhD	*	Richard Felson, PhD	*	Kimberly Flemke, PhD
Joel Garner, PhD	*	Lonnie Hazelwood, MSHP, LCDC	*	Denise Hines, PhD
Jodi Klugman-Rabb, MFT	*	Christopher Maxwell, PhD	*	Eric McCollum, PhD
Daniel Sonkin, PhD	*	Arlene Vetere, PhD	*	Carolyn West, PhD

Date:	Friday, Saturday and Sunday, June 26-28, 2009
Place:	Los Angeles Airport Marriott Hotel Los Angeles, CA
More info:	2009 Conference Flier

Most presenters serve on the editorial board of the peer-reviewed journalPartner Abuse, published quarterly by Springer publishing. For more information, go towww.springerpub.com/pa

Sponsored by:
California Alliance for Families and Children
and
Family Violence Treatment & Education Association

TO LEARN MORE OR SIGN UP, GO TO:
WWW.CAFCUSA.ORG

Domestic Violence Training DVDs Now Available!

See the founders, the pioneers, and today’s most respected experts together at the one-of-a-kind, historic conference, “From Ideology to Inclusion:.”Evidence-Based Policy and Intervention in Domestic Violence The conference was held February 15-16, 2008, in Sacramento, California.

Mail or fax in your order today!

Order form and catalog (click to order)

Summary of Speaker Bios

Read more about the conference

Online video from the conference

DID I forget, in addition to any conference fees, there’s (like any good market niche) the collateral sales market too. Incidentally, downloading information is one of the lowest overhead, most profitable fields of direct selling around, once it’s in place. It’s a GREAT business model.

Is that enough Ph.D.’s? Surely I should just their judgments about my danger level, experience of domestic violence, and whether my kids are or are not at risk of — shall we say — parental abduction — better than my own. After all, look at the degrees!

I wonder whether it has occurred to any of these people that some women leaving abuse might prefer going for not just “job training” but more degrees themselves, rather than defending from the latest round of accusations through this system, or for that matter, the latests fads sweeping through it. . ..

Speaking for myself, I already had the degrees, I just wanted “permission to practice” what I was already trained in and couldn’t, formerly, because of the domestic violence situation.

Remind me to get another Piled Higher Deeper (then I won’t call it that any more…), it may pay better than blogging for nothing, if I’m in one of these fixing people fields. Which, however, I wasn’t. I was in music, which helps heal people many times. It changes them. But it doesn’t approach from the point of view, unilaterally: “You need fixing, and we will do it!” It’s more transformative than legislative in nature. Funding for the arts is in jeopardy, but not for family-fixing.

SO, who attended THIS conference?

Who attended this one? (Sorry folks, if you just missed it, this past June): In the words of one of the groups above:

The conference quickly became an international event after its announcement. This was due to all of the internationally respected experts that presented at the conference, as well as attendees that came from all over the U.S., Canada, Europe and Asia. Easily 95 percent of those who had registered and attended the conference were with state, local and U.S. government agencies, including officials and staff from the Department of Health and Human Services. It was also attended by a myriad of public health agencies, Social Services, law enforcement, treatment providers and family law practitioners. The list goes on. In addition, several states had representatives from their Judicial Branches attend, including judges.

Seems to me about the only people NOT there were: family court LITIGANTS, battered women, protective mothers, children who had aged out of the system, in the custody of an abusive parent (these young people DO exist and are now speaking out: Courageous Kids, Alanna Krause, others. I WONDER what my daughter will say, or realize, when she turns 18, soon.) I don’t see the category “shelter workers” there. I don’t see “domestic violence advocates” as a category, do you? Family law practitioners and treatment providers, You BETCHA!

Because of the historic nature of the conference, {{and surely not because of PR, contacts with someone at the station, or anything of a mercenary or publicity-promotion nature…}} Radio Station KFBK-AM 1530, in Sacramento interviewed Erin Pizzey, the founder of the shelter movement and one of the conference presenters (incidentally, it seems Ms. Pizzey, daughter of an ambassador, has come to the conclusion that the shelter movement is run by radical feminists and socialists, and was turned on by them for not going along.).. . Everything is always “radical” “new” “Pioneering” and “launched” (etc.) in this field.

Perhaps this next testimonial may explain why the D.A. was so resistant to allowing me to not lose, or help me regain, custody of my daughters when it was their FATHER, not their MOTHER who had taken them so long ago:

After going through the post conference surveys, we learned that most attendees gave the conference overall scores ranging in the 4 & 5’s (with 5 being the highest score). We have heard directly from many attendees who are mediators and evaluators in family courts, and they called the conference the best they had ever attended on the issue. Many of them have been in the practice for 30 years. One District Attorney wrote:

“I thoroughly enjoyed the conference and felt it was one of the best I’d ever attended (I’ve been attending DV conferences ever since the Judicial Task Force put on a statewide conference after the OJ case!)”

(The clear and blatant theme of this one appears to be that women are equally as violent as men. Hence, the publication “Partner” abuse (and “abuse” not “Violence’) Title: From “Ideology” to “Inclusion.”

Oops: http://www.cafcusa.org/2008%20conference.aspx

It appears these reviews are from the 2008 conference, which was merely “historic” and not “the conference of the decade.” Sorry in searching on the latter term a merely Grand conference got confused with the truly Grandiose, which is about how the language goes too. But it’s not truly likely that the same organizations, in alliance are likely to change directions themselves. They exist, many of them, to change directions of OTHER venues, and other people’s, well, court cases.

(Tell you what — this inclusion does not appear to work in reverse quite so well…)

But, who are the real stakeholders?

Why not instead just raise funds for subscriptions for women leaving abuse to some of the publications talking about us, and our children, and our batterers, and our stalkers, and our children’s abductors, and our options, and how to intervene.

If we could have some “supervised visitation” to some of these conferences, I’m sure we would be competent to stand up and dispel some illusions circulating around these topics. I have known for a long time what would and would not take this household towards safety and self-sufficiency and been asking for it from institutions that had it to offer, they said.

This has fallen mostly on deaf ears. So now I am more interested in talking to these people’s supervisors, and employers, which FYI, happens to be in many cases, the federal grants system.

(note: I talked myself into two such “Screening for Abuse (or, Domestic violence)” type conferences within recent years, AFTER I lost my kids, and while in PTSD, Poverty, dealing with stalking, and working one remaining job. I overcame the PTSD of speaking up, and was called “brave” for doing so, in front of many strangers. One was aimed at health professionals, and was nationwide. ANother was aimed at custody evaluators and was not, although I would characterize BOTH of them as having analyzed the problem of abuse pretty darn well.

It was extremely validating and didn’t make a damn bit of difference in the case, and I doubt will in a whole lot of others. Why?

Because INFORMATION is not MOTIVATION.

EDUCATION doesn’t produce behavior change unless the MOTIVATION to change exceeds the benefits of NOT changing.

Overcoming PTSD to speak in front of strangers, is not my definition of brave. My definition of “brave” entails facing potential death, which I have, not facing a strange audience. It entails facing down that man, with a loaded gun and crazy talk, in my own home, and not just once. The bravery THAT time related to the fact I was a mother, and young children were in the home. My definition of brave is, knowing the possible impact, telling my family to go take a hike and get a life, when they violated my boundaries post-restraining order, and made it consistently clear after this clear statement, that this was not on THEIR agenda.

Similarly SOME people need to start recognizing that surviving abuse may be luck, or it may show competence, and start getting a different attitude about who you are dealing with, when a person shows up not too coherent immediately after an incident. Or when they show up in court (repeatedly forced to, thanks to the family law venue, which specializes on hearsay vs. evidence) also not coherent enough, possibly because of who’s present, and because of the authoritatarian and “it could change on a dime” nature of the interchange.

At this public speaking at a conference for PROFESSIONALS in the FIELD time, I also almost spent a night on the street, because in the process of speaking up, I mislaid car keys, took a commute back home, and found out the keys were in another city. Getting them back took half a night, and more money (of the very little I’d gotten by chance the previous day, allowing me the commute to this conference), help from two friends by phone (my own cell being off) and it was cold, too. I then imposed on someone who was actually a music client (so to speak) to stay overnight so I might not, in the fatigue and stress, oversleep work the next mornign which at this point would’ve resulted in being dismissed.

About a year later (this being halfway through the court cases following child-stealing) I was indeed suddenly dismissed by this same group. Possibly they had what’s called “vicarious trauma” dealing year after year (and it was that) with my inability to get free from ONE abuser, and his friends, and the family law mishandling of a simple, simple restraining order renewal. Which I didn’t, FYI, get.)

I want to say something:

Since then, I have looked into the financing (funding, folks) of this same organization, and at its website. See my post on “the amazing, disappearing word “Mother.” (The group is not featured, but the principle applies). It is a premiere group in the war against violence, not against “women” but, well, “family violence.” I have to really question why in this same state, funds to shelters have been axed, but not to this group. I have to ALSO question why I couldn’t get simple help when I needed it (and that includes, to date) from any of the entities that exist to provide it, after some of the original ones made a few policy mistakes, major ones, in designing the original custody order.

So, why not just invite us to the conferences? Note: before, THAT, raise funds to make sure that their phone and internets stay on (and deal with on-line stalking as well). For example, the other year, had my phone been on, I trust I could’ve found a job and retained access to a moving vehicle through what’s called “work” — even though, through family law inanity, I lost custody on an overnight over a year earlier, all my profession in the aftermath (and buildup), and all hope of collecting any child support arrears in the process.

You know what these conferences are to me, any more? They are like ambulance-chasers. They are carpet baggers.

They are like a person with a boat with room in it, and not too far to BOAT to shore, but too far for most people, particularly people in danger of shock, or fatigue, or not in top marathon shape — they drive by in the boat and wave. Sometimes they grab a kid in the process. They congregate in boats, and talk to each other about the shipwrecks. They even SOS — the shore — for more gas, and refreshments — and “technical support” — to converse — exclusively with each other — about “how to rescue shipwrecked sailors.” SOMETIMES some of them even pull out a child or two, or three, and give the child into the care of other people making a living off the shipwrecks — OR the other parent that helped cause it. That’s bright.

Then they have conferences about “shared parenting.” Or, even about “the context of custody-switch.” Or sometimes even about “the advisability of mediation in family law cases involving allegations of domestic violence or child abuse.” I’ve read many of these, and they are (unlike this blog) generally copyedited, slick, and even have nice charts, sometimes color coded bar graphs, and the whole nine yards.

But what they don’t have is the voices of the people in the water which might show where they missed the boat in these discussion.

NOW — do I think ALL the people in ALL the conferences have impure motives and self-interest in the forefront of their minds?

NO — I know that ALL people are imperfect and have impure motives and self-interest to some degree, including me.

That’s what the Constitution is about, and why any sitting President is sworn, under oath and in public, to preserve, protect, and defend it. It’s about putting some restraint on tyranny.

This includes tyranny by simple exclusion from policy-making conferences.

It should NOT be necessary for almost every mother (or father) who goes through divorce to switch professions and join one that might help him or herself defend herself in a family law custody action, and it PARTICULARLY is not fair where one partner (and it’s most likely to be the female one) has a life in the balance. Not just an emotional economic life, but also a physical life to her or her kids.

TRUTH has a lot of depth and nuances, but the underlying principles are basic, and basically, SIMPLE. When we are talking about human behavior. As a teacher of many years, and I have taught, coached, directed, co-taught, co-directed and/or performed with beginners (tone-deaf) to professionals (in 3 venues: piano/vocal/choral), I know that the same basics work every time, as much as how people sing and their particular voices differ. Certain basics HAVE to be there, including: Air, vocal cords, something to sing, and to do it well — a REASON to sing.

Same for offices, lifestyles, businesses. There is income, expenses, cash flow, overhead, etc. There is some basic math involved.

What the extended decades-long (I’m approaching 10 years, I know others who have been in longer) nonending family law venue DOES is simply divert cash flow. It STOPS what existed before, and recreates a NEW version according to its paradigm. Many times, it stops the process and incentive for either parent to work.

So, IF the actual desire is to STOP VIOLENCE, or CHILD ABUSE and SAVE LIVES: I recommend starting to pay parents, particularly those who are experiencing stalking, abuse, or other threats, for some of these subscriptions, so we can keep up with what’s being proclaimed about us and our kids and our lifestyles,

Or, alternately, we could stop the conferences and get back to something halfway reasonable, like our own businesses. Right now, this thing is really getting out of hand. . . . . After a few years of chasing around the experts, and being ever so happy they had “analyzed” a situation well, I began to realize this is about where it stops. With the talk. (Well, not really, the dynamic of the situation is changing, but the “you’re making it up” folk are cancelling out the “you’re minimizing abuse” folk. Even when they “collaborate.”)

I actually DO have a life (still — not the same one, but a life) to get back to, and it’s clear that this is going to go on, well, forever. I DO have some things I wish to do in life than stop people so intent on stopping domestic violence, they have kept it going a good long while, and people so intent on sharing custody that they are not about to, ever, acknowledge that this is getting too many people hurt. No, “supervised visitation” is NOT a good alternatives, that I can see. For one, I was not offered it once in many years, although it would have been very appropriate given where the problems were happening in our case. Most people I know that HAVE supervised visitation (at their own expense) are women who got it AFTER they reported abuse. They lost custody and have to pay to see their kids.

Do I want to spend the rest of my life fixing this problem? No. I don’t think it’s going away soon. On the other hand, do I accept what has happened and zero accountability for what was stolen from my daughters, and me, and the unnecessary destruction involved? No. Do I want to lose something more if I confront again? No. Would you?

So. why not let the real stakeholders in on the discussions with the “stakeholders” in these systems? Why should we have to run around studying the industry, and finding out about each new conference half of us can’t attend anyhow? And with speakers we have already been exposed to their work, and a sometimes (I speak for myself) even know which grant or grants program is funding the thing and the policy? Have we become a nation of actually employed experts whose very jobs are robbing from the unemployed, whom they are studying?

(I do apologize for my sarcasm here. But my phone is only on today because someone had a good hair day, as opposed to a bad hair day, and another dribble of child support arrears showed up, enough for phone and not much more. In order to get some nonfoods (which is illegal on Food Stamps) rather than ask someone I know for this (again), I waited 2 hours to get a single coupon unredeemable except at one store — not nearby. I waited til the next day to redeem it. On that day, which involved approximately SIX total bus trips, none of them involving more than 10 mile radius total, and after having walked 2 of those miles without proper shoes, I took the baggage home (involving a sack of potatoes and more) and looked for work, a lead on charity cars, and more. Then my phone went off (as happens when one doesn’t pay in time). THIS MORNING, I talked the bus driver into letting me on half price, because the feet wouldn’t make a similar distance this time. It just so happened (couldn’t have been planned around or predicted) that — just under the deadline, a deadbeat Dad paid again. I reflected at how similar this was to life when I LIVED with this man (particularly as to unpredictable access to any kind of cash, and having to dedicate half a day or more to something that would take 20 min to an hour in a car).

The primary difference being then that I had the joy of a little company with my daughters, who were growing up still. I wonder where they are and what they are thinking today.

So, let’s change the dynamics:

Benefits (from OUR point of view, at least):

Life
Liberty, hopefully
Pursuit of happiness
Decreased National Debt ($1.9 TRILLION, I just heard?)
Safer classrooms, probably
Many, many more benefits.

Detriments (possibly from publishers, conferrers, model code designers, and a WHOLE lot more):

Some professions would have to find a new market niche, because the problems their professions live off would likely abate. Like those who have lived through (see subject line) they would have to be resourceful, flexible, think on their feet, and probably no longer have a “captive” audience or a steady stream of federal grants to solve problems, but enter the free marketplace like the rest of us.
The professed Ph.D. experts would have to move over for the actual “experts.” An expert is one who has experienced a thing, and has a vocabulary sufficient to communicate to communicate to others what it was. Typically, this entails knowing others involved in the same thing. OUR vocabulary, not the expert social science vocabulary.
Cash and jobs would flow in a different direction.

I think those would be the primary differences. The question is, HOW would America Survive without the economy of pathology? And the paradigm of the us/them; subject/object expertise heirarchy?

What year do you think this was written?

(Scroll to bottom for answer).

I have pasted an entire section from an article I found on-line today, as I was thinking about the mental segmentation and disconnect between different types of justice (courts), between courts & police, between police & prosecutors (from what I can tell), between “domestic violence” professionals and “child abuse professionals” (meaning, these professionals desire to STOP domestic violence and child abuse, by analyzing and, based on analyses, communicating their results and asking for policy changes. Then, if the policy changes, the matter comes up, is the PRACTICE changed. Again, the typical mentality is to “train” the professionals to practice what’s right.

Very few actually deal with the realities of human nature, namely, that there is no single branch of employment, business, and no profession, where most of the employees are altruistic, and none of them are dangerously self-serving, or motivated by, for example, basic human greed, denial, or lust for power.

This excerpt is a sample of what I’d call honest writing, which shows how even a “model” practice that is published — certain perspectives were omitted. I would imagine that in this case, the voices of the people with these perspectives (the victims the model code was hoping to help) were not present for the dialogue. THAT is indeed a problem, this gap.

it’s really a matter of language. You see, calling an intersection of court, law enforcement, and social services workers when discussing issues that affect people who come under the category victims (i.e., of crimes) without including the victims — IN THOSE DISCUSSIONS — is exclusionary.

It is a larger subset of a larger divide, called “service-providers” (including the “service” of JUSTICE) vs. Recipients/clients.

I’ve blogged on another post here about the effect of stalking on me, and including through other family members. It is a total life-changer (and illegal). I do not know how to sustain regular employment around the degree of it that has come into my life, and have totally switched goals in order to accommodate, if possible, the safety factor. I know other women who have done this. It’s NOT a game, and NOT a joke, but every law enforcement officer I reported to treated it as such, and added in some verbal abuse to go along with my attempt to report. I have reported it to almost every agency or type of individual involved in my case, as I also reported the risk of child-stealing (which happened) and my concerns about the lethality factor in our case, a combo. of gut instinct, only to then find literature that shows my gut was right.

It is an odd feeling to find out how much of one’s life had already been discussed and conferenced about, and how long ago, and relate this to how many women have been killed since because even this (in its own words) “flawed” model still isn’t being followed.

Nevertheless, here it is. It is in off-blue (not “link” color) italics. Any bold or underlining, or variations from italic blue, are my additions,or emphases, except obviously the bolded section headings:

National Institute of Justice Project to Develop Model Anti-Stalking Code for States

Limitations of Report from Domestic Violence Perspective

In response to the great and sudden interest in state stalking codes, the National Institute of Justice (NIJ) created a project to develop a model anti-stalking code for states, releasing their final report in _________. (see below) Interestingly enough, the report does not refer to the NIJ’s history of involvement with this issue, which included the development of a model harassment code over 10 years ago.

Unfortunately, the resource group which developed this model code included no domestic violence advocates. (An issue which continues to this day/Let’s Get Honest comments in other fields) Presumably this accounts for the fact that domestic violence, rather than being seen as a central issue in the development of the model code, is relegated to tangential status.

Domestic violence is rarely mentioned in the report, and when it is it may be in a footnote. See, e.g., footnote 83, pages 38 – 39, which touches briefly on the overlap between domestic violence and stalking, and reports without comment on law enforcement attitudes that domestic violence stalking incidents aren’t worth much attention: “… While 77 percent of responding jurisdictions in Australia and Great Britain reported investigating stalking-type incidents, none considered stalking a major problem . High-profile cases were rare in the responding countries, and most agencies consider stalking primarily a domestic violence problem. Typical victims are women of any age escaping abusive relationships with dominant males , they reported… Stalker’s methods did not seem to vary from those used by American stalkers, and the course of events seemed to escalate from unwanted contacts to following and face-to-face threats…” (emphasis added) The message appears to be that a crime in which the primary victims are battered women is not “a major problem.”

Domestic violence is hardly mentioned again until page 92, where one paragraph acknowledges the usefulness of drawing upon criminal justice personnel’s experience with domestic violence in formulating strategies against stalking. However, the report then lays out a research agenda which downplays the body of applicable domestic violence research which has already been conducted. The report calls for research on stalkers (i.e. their behaviors, motivations, demographics, histories), stalking as a crime (i.e. its prevalence and reponse by the criminaljustice system), and the usefulness of restraining orders in stopping stalking (i.e. how well the victim, defendant, and criminal justice personnel understand how to enforce them). Given that the overwhelming majority of stalking cases are domestic violence cases, we can already answer many of these questions. {{I alternate emphasis so every sentence is read in this paragraph.}}

In the discussion on sentencing, the report does not mention batterer’s counseling even once in its three-page discussion of evaluation, treatment, and mental illness, {{I’m not at this point highly enamored of batterer’s counseling, probably because of so many incidents I’ve read where counseling was ordered over incarceration; the batterer then aced the counseling, and went promptly out and murdered his former, reporting, partner. And I believe that where even a 10% outside chance of “murder” as a side-effect of ineffective counseling happens, the chance should not be taken. The concept that behavioral science, which is “prognosis” can substitute some how for safety, is not sound thinking, in my view. }}or in the principal recommendations where counseling is mentioned. This is unfortunate, since there is a growing body of literature on the efficacy of batterer’s counseling which would be applicable to the 70-80% of stalking cases involving domestic violence, and since there are also studies showing that most therapists are woefully untrained and uninformed in the area of domestic violence. {{Cobblers see shoes. Lawyers see legal issues. Therapists see personality problems. I have been stalked, battered, and lost access to the children through “family court matters,” so obviously this is kind of what I notice, too. So even correcting the “training” and “uninformed” factors (imagine the expense) would still be in essence asking a professional in a field to change their outlook on the field. }}

The timing of NIJ’s model code report was also unfortunate. The research was done before any appellate cases on stalking had been published, before the volume of commentators in law review articles, and when very few states had amended their statutes. The model code was based on two surveys sent to police departments around the country and to four other English-speaking countries, telephone interviews with prosecutors and defense attorneys, and analyzing the various state statutes on stalking and related issues. {{THIS PATTERN IS COMMON WHEN IT COMES TO GRANT SITUATIONS FOR POLICY CHANGES. FIRST, “DEMONSTRATION,” SOMETIMES (NOT ALWAYS) STARTING SMALL. THEN, “PROCLAMATION” BASED ON THE PRIOR “DEMONSTRATION” WHICH WERE NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF THE WHOLE PICTURE}}

It is unfortunate that the NIJ report was not seen as Part I of a two-part process, since it is necessary have an in-depth assessment of how the statutes are actually working in order to evaluate the NIJ’s proposed model code. {{This may have been “unfortunate,” negligent, or intentional. I don’t know which; I wasn’t there. At least this author comments on it. After a while, one begins to notice how many things termed “unfortunate” — weren’t quite left up to fortune. This word cropped up in a mediator report in my case, referring to something which had happened specifically and ONLY after repeated interventions and decisions prompted by said mediator. }}

Analysis of utility of model code proposed by NIJ for battered women

Benefits of Model Code

But even with all the above limitations, the NIJ Report has a great deal of useful information and policy recommendations which could help battered women and their children.

For example, the Report’s principal recommendations for a model stalking code include the following, all of which could be helpful to domestic violence victims:

a continuum of charges, including felony status

option of incarceration

orders to stay away from victim

counseling

victim notification before stalker released

early intervention

systems put in place so that civil and criminal judges know what the other courts are doing with the same case

a research agenda

a multidisciplinary approach

In Chapter Two of the Report, the proposed model code is discused in detail. Probably the most beneficial statement is the following: “Of utmost importance is a state’s decision to require the criminal justice system and related disciplines to take stalking incidents seriously.“

{{CAN YOU NAME AT LEAT 3 RECENT INCIDENTS WHERE IT WASN’T? TOM’S RIVER, A TOLLBOOTH IN CALIFORNIA, AND A HOME (WITH TWO LITTLE GIRLS TRYING –BUT FAILING — TO SAVE MAMA’S LIFE) WHERE THESE RESTRAINING ORDER VIOLATIONS OR STALKING OR SEPARATION DANGER WAS NOT TAKEN SERIOUSLY?}}

The useful elements of the proposed code include a broad definition of prohibited acts; allowing “implied threats”, as opposed to “credible threats”, to be sufficient; the use of increasingly serious penalties to deal with increasingly serious acts, and encompassing misdemeanor and felony sanctions; and the broad definition of intent: “In other words, if a defendant consciously engages in conduct that he knows or should know would cause fear in the person at whom the conduct is directed, the intent element of the model code is satisfied.” The drafters made a similar comment in regard to the fear element: “In some instances, a defendant may be aware, through a past relationship with the victim, of an unusual phobia of the victim’s and use this knowledge to cause fear in the victim… a jury must determine that the victim’s fear was reasonable under the circumstances. ” (emphasis added) This language may open the door to the introduction of evidence regarding the stalker’s past threats toward the same victim, and to expert testimony on stalking generally, which will probably be beneficial to victims.

Similarly, Chapter Three’s sentencing provisions are also generally useful for battered women. The overall goals include protecting the victim, allowing law enforcement to intervene when appropriate, sanctions, and treatment for those defendants who can be helped.

The requirement of victim notification, and accompanying acknowledgements that some stalkers may be more dangerous when released from prison, and that stalking behavior often escalates into violence as time passes are very important for battered women. So are the enhanced penalties for restraining order violations, use of a weapon, minor victims, or prior offenses toward the same or another victim. All of these are typical of domestic violence cases. The no-contact orders upon release are likewise key for protecting battering victims. The advantages and disadvantages of requiring convicted stalkers to wear electronic bracelets are discussed sensitively.

Chapter Four, on pre-trial release, also contains recommendations which are generally good for battered women whose batterers stalk them. These include taking danger to the public into account, considering eliminating release on one’s own recognizance, recommended factors for courts to consider in each case, possible conditions of release, including no-contact orders, victim’s right participate in bail hearings, victim notification of pre-trial release and copies of release orders to the victim.

Chapter Five’s strategies for implementation are also generally helpful for battered women. The emphasis on a multidisciplinary approach underlines the need for all societal systems to work together to end this problem. The recommendations about the response of the criminal justice system are good as well, including training, better police policies and procedures, strengthening restraining order enforcement, providing judges with full criminal and restraining order histories of the defendant at every stage of the case, and the need to keep DMV and voter records of stalking victims confidential.

The NIJ’s proposed model code generally complies with the model code recommended by Susan Bernstein, which was discussed above. The NIJ code includes “threats implied by conduct”, and uses the history between the parties as a context in determining the nature of the threats. While the NIJ code does not mandate using computerized informational tracking systems, the larger NIJ Report recommends these, and also recommends the imposition of increasingly stronger penalties, including felonies. Though Bernstein’s recommendation that harassment include “unconsented conduct” is not addressed directly in the NIJ code, it appears that the NIJ drafters intended to encompass such conduct. Thus, the only key element listed by Bernstein which is not addressed by the NIJ Report is the reasonable woman standard.

Flaws of Model Code

On the other hand, the code has some flaws. First, threats toward the victim’s family are limited to those directed at her “immediate family”, which is defined very narrowly. It would be better to encompass the extended family, both because stalkers do not so limit their behavior, and because many ethnic groups in the US have a much broader definition of family than the nuclear version. Coverage should be provided if the stalker is threatening the victim’s aunt, uncle, grandparents, grandchildren, cousins, godparents, godchildren, in-laws, etc.

Second, “[t]he model code language does not apply if the victim fears sexual assault but does not fear bodily injury.” The drafters discuss the risk of contracting AIDS or being injured for resisting, and state that states may want to include fear of sexual assault in their statutes. However, the idea that sexual assault is not bodily injury in and of itself is ludicrous, and any historical distinction between these two types of injuries should not be maintained.

Third, the drafters propose that states allow for either restitution to the victim, or civil causes of action. It is unclear why victims should not have access to both remedies, since they are not interchangable: restitution is ordered by the criminal court, and covers only out of pocket expenses, while tort suits are under the control of the victim, and also allow for awards for pain and suffering and punitive damages in addition to compensatory damages.

Return to top of the page

Effectiveness of anti-stalking codes in general for battered women

We last turn to the question of the effectiveness of anti-stalking codes in general for battered women. On the one hand, such codes can be useful. They serve as an acknowledgement that stalking behavior is wrong, and should be criminalized. They contribute to societal awareness that stalking is often part of the overall pattern of domestic violence. They may be an additional charge which prosecutors can use. In some cases, stalking laws can stop the cycle before more violence occurs by criminalizing behavior which otherwise would be non-actionable. On the other hand, there are many limitations to the efficacy of stalking laws in preventing abuse and violence. In some jurisdictions, stalking laws are the latest fad: they represent feathers in the caps of legislators and criminal justice system personnel, without attempting to solve the underlying problems of men’s violence toward women generally and domestic violence in particular. Secondly, there appears to be a belief in some locations that stalking statutes will be a panacea, that if the legislators can merely write the magic combination of words, they will be able to stop this offense. Such viewpoints fail to take the big picture into account — i.e. without fundamental attitude changes on the parts of law enforcement, prosecutors, judges, juries, media, therapists, and the general public, the same old attitudes about domestic violence will attach to stalking cases and result in inaction, undercharging, light sentences, and ineffective orders.

In order to be effective, stalking statutes must be one piece of a much larger coordinated community response. Key pieces of such a response would include in-depth training and written policies addressing domestic violence and stalking, and would be an integral part of the criminal justice system, health care system, educational system, and other social stystems. The training and policies would state that domestic violence is wrong, criminal, and not tolerated. An additional key piece of the response would involve cooperation between all the different parts of the above systems, such as protocols for cooperation, regular interdisciplinary or inter-agency meetings, and death review teams, reflecting the reality that everyone has to work together if we will ever be able to stop domestic violence.

But even with a true coordinated community response, anti-stalking laws are still a limited tool in preventing domestic violence.Even with severe sanctions, some stalkers, like some batterers, will not stop or will repeat this behavior with other victims when released from jail. And some victims may still be reluctant to cooperate with prosecution because protections they are offered by the criminal justice system are inadequate to prevent retaliation. They may also feel sorry for the stalker, love him, want him to get counseling, etc., or they may be forced to deal with him for years to come because they have children in common. It is notable that many state stalking statutes do not cover situations where the former spouse/stalker has visitation rights. This is a major problem for battered women, whose batterers often escalate the violence after separation and transfer their attempts to control the woman to the custody/visitation arena.

In conclusion, anti-stalking laws are a step in the right direction, but in and of themselves will not solve the problems of battered women or other stalking victim.

MY SUMMARY:

(I only commented on top part of article, for a pattern of asking questions. ALL of it brings up good points, and I hope was read).

I COME BACK TO CONCEPT OF SELF-DEFENSE, AND a Survive! mentality for women. (See my Toms River, NJ post). Don’t break any laws, but do like the Boy Scouts, “Be Prepared.” AND, prepare to survive. I suggest that women pretty much be very pro-active in figuring this out themselves and with their own resources, until such day arrives where model codes are appropriate, or if appropriate, enforced, and if enforced, enforced seriously.

I deeply regret the years of my

(1) calling out for others to help me, while

(2) trying to maintain and help myself both, and immediately leave the situation.

I would have been BETTER engaged in time and energy not to have bothered with the first part. Unfortunately, like many women leaving abuse, economics was a huge issue, not just recovery and safety. This is why any effort to address DV issues not taking into account economic issues is simply unrealistic. At this point, i also believe that any discussion of domestic violence which does NOT discuss the negative impact that the realm of family law has had upon all the research, all the laws, and all the protective meaures in place, will not make a major difference. The efforts cancel each other out.

(Verbal Confrontation, or even taking protective action, on my part just brought greater escalations and punishments. In fact, this was typically where it got physical). I am talking about both IN the battering relationship (in my case, called “marriage, co-habiting years” AND in the afterwards years (taking a stand as a separate woman, with children in the household.). I remember one year of emotionally healthy, solvent, sanity — while a restraining order was in place. There was a storm brewing, but the majority of the situation was a sense of growing prosperity and strength, and — apart from the source of this — peace. This was BEFORE I’d had a few hearings in the family law venue.

The only benefit I can see from the whole process is that I now caution women to avoid absolutely every facet of it possible, and go about establishing their own: Safety, solvency and self-determination. It is also necessary to understand that doing so is not just a threat to one’s ex, potentially, but also to the entire “SYSTEM” if you don’t do it “their” way. Which means becoming dependent on aspects of this for safey, solvency, and forking over self-determination to a parenting plan (or something similar) obtained through a custody evaluator or mediator, who are influenced by forces one doesn’t normally have input to deal with, in part because one doesn’t know they exist to start with.

Now, as to my doing this myself, it may entail abandoning this blog, also. However, speaking out is part of a healing process also, and it’s a vital part.

While advocates from more than once side of the fence now dialogue and collaborate with each other (as women and thereafter sometimes men (including men who killed them) continue to die, and children continue to suffer abuse, and some go missing — the one side of the fence that is often not heard — IN the policymaking discussions, IN print IN the publications on these matters, IN the professional organizations that make a livelihood dealing with these matters, and basically on the IN, not the OUT, in these discussions — will continue to be the people with most at stake — their lives.

It is common sometimes to list the “stakeholders” in each new conference. I have looked at many of these lists. Rarely are the actual parents, targeted child, or targeted spouse (when it comes to child abduction or domestic violence or stalking, ALL of which are related, by the way) invited to confer. And if they did, and what such people said WAS published, or broadcast, what about retaliation? Ever think about that?

WHEN WAS THE EXCERPT WRITTEN?

About 15 years after Toms River, NJ – – 1994:

Found at:

http://www.mincava.umn.edu/documents/bwjp/stalking/stalking.html#id2355674

Domestic Violence & Stalking: A Comment on the Model Anti-Stalking Code Proposed by the National Institute of Justice

Nancy K. D. Lemon
Battered Women’s Justice Project

Publication Date: December 1994

(And the blank date in the excerpt was Oct. 1993).

Written by Let's Get Honest|She Looks It Up

August 26, 2009 at 6:42 pm

Only $118,310,126 (last year), in hopes of Healthy Marriages and Responsible Fathers

leave a comment »

Set this Press Release to the “SPIN” Cycle:

California Healthy Marriages Coalition Says GM Bankruptcy Could Create More
Than Financial Devastation for Families

SAN DIEGO, June 11 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- The GM Bankruptcy is causing six
dealerships around California to be closed. These closures will create more
bad news for California's economy by increasing the already high unemployment
rate of 11 percent, and adding financial stress to the families involved in
these cutbacks. Statistics show that financial strain is one of the leading
causes of divorce and that divorce itself places additional strains on the
economy and on business. This is a distressing cycle for which California's
leading marriage-support organization offers some new reassurance.
{{Just "trust" our press release, statistics show.  Which, or should we say "whose", is
not mentioned..}}
 


{{And HOW did this premiere marriage-support organization (at least according to itself) race 
to the forefront of all California's marriage support organizations??  Clearly 
it must be on its own merits. . . . blood, sweat, tears, ingenuity (that's true), 
and entrepreneurship, standing on the shoulders of giants.  Seriously, the Dept. of Health
and Human Services IS indeed a giant, funding this group from the top down, and some of the
other coalitions under its w - i - d - e umbrella from the bottom up.)






Target Population:
Married and Unmarried persons in California, ages 15 and
older, of all racial, cultural and economic backgrounds


Federal Award Amount:
$2,342,080/year


Program Name:
California Healthy Marriages Coalition


Project Period:
9/30/2006 - 9/29/2011




. . . 
SOURCE  California Healthy Marriages Coalition
 

Yes, alas, ’tis true. . ..  
 
recently, as well as, well,  not so recently, it seems clear from the various newspaper headlines that many marriages are not very healthy.  Also, the same could be said of divorces.      But, for those readers who, as either (U.S.) employees or employERS, actually pay taxes, I would like to reassure you that the U.S. Government is on it, it has a PLAN.  You may or may not be in on the plan, but I assure you it has many plan to fix the overall unhealthiness of both marriages, and the lack of safety attendant to divorce from, well, a spouse that doesn’t believe in divorce.  It would also like to assure you to trust the experts (its hired ones and delegated ones)  To analyze and fix the situation.  This IS, after all, what governments exist for right?  I seem to foggily remember something about the purpose of governments in the Declaration of Independence, and about the word “consent.”     It seems to me that somewhere along the line “We the People” got turned into a version of “You People,” and the posse of experts got called in to fix families.  What they actually ended up doing is breaking the legal system, by turning it into a behavioral health marketplace, clearly infringing on the niche of the faith institutions, for example, I heard that recently the Knights of Columbus, on behalf  of Catholics everywhere, have launched a(nother) fatherhood initiative, lest we somehow forget who’s the boss, called:  http://FathersForGood.org.  
 

 
Notice anything missing from the logo there?
 

(this time, WITH a Mom..)
And now again, this time with a little more style…
 
Now for all those little pieces of education that add up to $118, 310, 126 – – for 2008 — enjoy the panorama of organizations that are addressing this problem of, well, unhealthy marriages and irresponsible fathers.  (I have omitted “Abstinence Education,” because it would overload this post’s, well, capacity).
This wordpress page can only carry one year’s worth of links at a time.  Moreover these are alphabetical by Grant Recipient, nationwide, and not by state (although zip codes are listed).  The fun part is, they are “click-able,” meaning, you can click on an institution’s name and see what else it’s been up to, for how long and for how much.  Perhaps I might show a few more ways to search, but someone of basic intelligence (and motivated) can learn a lot simply by looking.  Another trick you might try is searching its name on “usaspending.gov” and see what kind of cute bar charts and stats show up.  
Thus one can get an overview of almost any CFDA number BUT this one, 93.086, on a certain database.  
Is this inintentional?  If part of required Civic Literacy was understanding the federal grants system, if rather than whine, moan, or complain — or complain to elected representatives –MORE AVERAGE JOES & JANE DOES (the alive ones) started monitoring our home states, state by state and agency by agency, we might stop asking why states are running out of money for domestic violence shelters and general assistance, because the answer would be obvious.  Instead, we would ask intelligent, and pointed questions from the point of view, these are public funds, and (if government) you are public servants, and (if nonprofit) you’re tax exempt for a reason — how does this fulfil the reason, and who is evaluating, and by what standard? 
And then question the standards if they are unreasonable, inconsistent, or do not exist.
Alternately, we could chug along and say, “isn’t so and so handling this? Because I’m busy, and have my own life to handle.”



Sure they are.  That’s why inbetween talking about this, I can’t keep up with the healines, or follow up with the last ones before there are new ones.  That’s why protective orders protect, law enforcement enforces (consistently), child support is collected (consistently and without gender bias), and welfare helps people be better.  AND, (case in point) marriages are clearly getting healed — either that, or they can’t keep up with the new babies (despite Abstinence Education, which I omitted from this list, but is still going strong).
(OK, that’ll have to be another post — WOW, I just pulled 653 records under one code, 93.010 (community-based A.E.)
(not a searchable code in “usaspending.gov,” at least not readily…)
However, top 5 programs with the keyword “abstinence” in the PROJECT title:



93.010: Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)
$128,610,003


 98.001: USAID Foreign Assistance for Programs Overseas
$11,058,644


 93.279: Drug Abuse and Addiction Research Programs
$9,561,182


 93.995: Adolescent Family Life_Demonstration Projects
$8,064,374


 93.273: Alcohol Research Programs
$6,222,97



AND as far as WHO is really interested in why people don’t abstain and trying to get them to:
Top 10 Recipients



 FAMILY HEALTH INTERNATIONAL (FHI)
$3,593,286


 SCRIPPS RESEARCH INSTITUTE
$2,551,682


 PROGRAM FOR APPROPRIATE TECHNOLOGY IN HEALTH
$2,233,162


 HERITAGE COMMUNITY SERVICES INC
$2,000,000


 BROWN UNIVERSITY
$1,672,760


 POPULATION COUNCIL INC
$1,613,000


 PATH
$1,500,000


 NEUROBEHAVIORAL RESEARCH INC
$1,466,239


 NEW HOPE CENTER INC
$1,399,907


 CENTER FOR SELF-SUFFICIENCY, INC.
$1,399,300



Results 1 to 500 of 653 matches.  restricted to “NEW” only, I got 240 new grants:
(AFTER ALL THIS, WILL YOU BE ABLE TO “ABSTAIN” FROM LOOKING FURTHER INTO THESE?)
Here’s a quick partial look:
 



Fiscal Year
Grantee Name
State
Award Title
Budget Year
CFDA Program Name
Award Class
Principal Investigator
($$)Sum of Actions



 
 
 



2009 
Columbus Hospital 
NJ 
COMMUNITY BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION 
2 
Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)  
DISCRETIONARY 
BERNADETTE VISSANI 
$- 739,820 


2009 
METRO ATLANTA YOUTH FOR CHRIST, INC 
GA 
COMMUNITY-BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION 
3 
Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)  
DISCRETIONARY 
CINDY MILLER 
$ 300,186 


2009 
Saint Michael`s Medical Center, Inc 
NJ 
COMMUNITY BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION 
1 
Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)  
DISCRETIONARY 
BERNADETTE VISSANI 
$ 677,551 


2008 
A WOMAN`S PLACE MINISTRIES, INC. 
FL 
ABSTINENCE EDUCATION 
1 
Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)  
DISCRETIONARY 
MICHAEL LAYTON 
$ 600,000 


2008 
A WOMENS CONCERN, INC. 
MA 
HEALTHY FUTURES ABSTINENCE EDUCATION INITIATIVE 
3 
Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)  
DISCRETIONARY 
ELIZABETH SNYDER 
$ 600,000 


2008 
ABSTINENCE & MARRIAGE EDUCATION PARTNERSHIP 
IL 
COMMUNITY BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION 
1 
Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)  
DISCRETIONARY 
SCOTT PHELPS 
$ 512,500 


2008 
ABSTINENCE EDUCATION CONSULTANTS,INC. 
KS 
COMMUNITY-BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION 
1 
Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)  
DISCRETIONARY 
LOIS THEIS 
$ 600,000 


2008 
ABSTINENCE TIL MARRIAGE EDUCATION 
OH 
COMMUNITY BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION 
3 
Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)  
DISCRETIONARY 
CATHERINE E WOOD 
$ 600,000 


2008 
AIDS RESOURCE CENTER OF WISCONSIN, INC 
WI 
COMMUNITY BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION 
1 
Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)  
DISCRETIONARY 
SCOTT STOKES 
$ 600,000 


2008 
ALPHA CENTER 
SD 
COMMUNITY BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION 
1 
Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)  
DISCRETIONARY 
KIMBERLY MARTINEZ 
$ 600,000 


2008 
ALTERNATIVE COMMUNITY DEVELOPMENT SERVICES 
TX 
COMMUNITY BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION 
1 
Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)  
DISCRETIONARY 
SHARI L CARROLL 
$ 454,922 


2008 
ARIZONA MEXICO BORDER HEALTH FOUNDATION 
AZ 
COMMUNITY BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION 
1 
Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)  
DISCRETIONARY 
ALBERT MORENO 
$ 550,000 


2008 
AWARE, INC. 
WA 
WASHINGTON STATE: COMMUNITY-BASED ABSTINENCE UNTIL MARRIAGE PROJECT 
1 
Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)  
DISCRETIONARY 
JAMES N GRENFELL 
$ 499,849 


2008 
About Our Kids, Inc. 
MO 
STRATEGIES FOR ABSTINENCE AND VIRTUE EDUCATION (SAVE) 
2 
Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)  
DISCRETIONARY 
ALICIA HUMES 
$ 600,000 


2008 
Abstinence the Better Choice, Inc. 
OH 
ABSTINENCE THE BETTER CHOICE 
3 
Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)  
DISCRETIONARY 
CHERYL BIDDLE 
$ 600,000 


2008 
Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Inc. 
AZ 
POWER FITNESS ABSTINENCE PROGRAM- TEACHING YOUTH AGES 12 THROUGH 18 THE SOCIAL, PSYCHOLOGI 
3 
Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)  
DISCRETIONARY 
EVA GODDARD 
$ 600,000 



 
 
 
and $427 mil (see above link “still going strong”) for another code 93.235, plain old “A.E.” Then I searched the word “abstinence” as a keyword in the project title, and got 
 
 
 
 
 In these venues, (once under the facuet of grants and publications  –  alittle easier to do while not being stalked, or in a court case onesself) talking (and publishing) about problems pays more than solving them, in fact, a LOT more.   This also provides an incentive to try to keep actual problem-solvers (like those who have observed and been hurt by the system, and been taking names and notes, too) OUT of the  talkfests, or decision making process, if they are heard.  And, more and more, out of being informed that the decisionmaking process is not where it should be — as to legal matters, in the courts, not the psychologists’ offices.  
Solving problems cuts off cash flow.  There’s  a clear disincentive.  Ask someone who’s life, or whose child’s life is at stake (and who has not got a history of perjury in the case file already) and SHE will tell you, safety first, shared parenting second.  Child’s right not to suffer abuse or be threatened (let alone the mother’s) or kidnapped supersedes person with history of threatening or abuse’s right to see the child. In re:  “healthy marriages,” her /their (if children) right not to be hurt or killed, or traumatized in fear of this happening, or expose her children to being abused, and deal with frequent exchanges with a former batterer (even if the children were not directly battered) supersedes 53 professionals’ need to reconsider this.  At what point are professionals to be forced to read these headlines that we read, and sometimes analyze, kind of like sitting through traffic court and watch graphic accident footage after one was caught speeding. 
I have been through this.  I have been IN a court case, same month, and domestic violence murder going on, same city, and one could not tell from the demeanor on the outside.  My case had a history of violence, injury, repeated disregard of laws, and treats to abduct (which in fact had just happened).  No matter, we are in la-la-land again. . . .   I had a PTSD incident in the courtroom.  No matter. . . .   
SO, my hope is that the general public will become generally acquainted with how this works, so that if one of THEIR friends is involved (and, of course this presumes that my readers are interested in justice, not perverting it) (which may or may not be wise) – – they can at least see where things went.  $$ wise.  This year.
 
Experts are being churned out at an alarming rate.  Grants go to this, too.  Grants sometimes drive the field of expertise, and very much so in this field of fatherhood and families.  I have looked, and can say this.  Have you?  Could you rebut that assertion with data from the top universities around the country, and colleges?  (Not unless several programs disappear fast….)
Do yourself and others a favor — become a LITTLE more expert in this today than you were yesterday.
And show someone else.  OK?
 
One philosophical question I have from time to time is how much of our adult lives (let alone growing up) are spent OUTside any government institutions to start with.  I mean, what part of our lives are NOT regulated, measured, examined and evaluated (at our own expense) to drive policiesi (without our informed consent, really) that will further tinker with the dynamics of eat, sleep, breed, marry, divorce, educate (let’s not omit that) and re-educate, regulate, and direct.    I have an unfortunate independent streak, and I tend to think there are often better ways to do things.  As a woman, I don’t think needlessly repetitive tasks are the natural inheritance of my gender biologically, and although sometimes there’s a comfort in them, there should be other ways to do one thing or another.  
 
Like better, or less wasteful.  The benefit is, getting more done.  Take for example, deleting religion from public school systems (supposedly) and then trying to re-inject it after criminal behavior, or during the divorce/separation scenarios.  Take for example, a system that itself stresses and dismantles families, and then another (equally chaotic and burdensome to the general public) system to put them back together again.  Take for example, the talk about “separation of church and state” and then nationally calling upon “faith-based organizations” to, though they are largely tax-exempt, at public expense put them back together again.  To WHOM are any of the organizations below accountable, and what demonstration of effectiveness are they showing, or are the “exempt” from that as well as (those that are) from taxes, too?
 
Anyhow, I give you a single “CFDA” (Category of Federal Domestic Assistance) called “Healthy Marriages Promoting Responsible Fatherhood.”  I guess it is assumed that mothers will be healthy without extra coaching and bribing.  Or, that if you get a responsible father (i.e., buy one, and this is explained through another grants systems as well, this IS indeed the premise in practice here – – one has to look at the child support system’s role in divorce).  . . .     or perhaps this acknowledges that for whatever reasons (let’s not mention any OTHER programs this same Of/By/For the people government might have had its hands in), there is a social crisis not just of “fatherlessness” but of “irresponsible fatherhood.”
 
I can vouch for the one I know — father of my children.  He’d rather fight than work any day, which process eventually put me out of work.  No matter, the government stepped in, through family court matters, enter mediation, exit civil rights, eventually exit my contact with my offspring (they did spring out of me, physically.  I pushed, they sprang. . ..  whatever… I was awake for the process and can verify:  I had two children a very long time ago).  And then out they go, to work their own way through life, lest Dad be humiliated by paying much of his child support arrears, which was partly what the battle was about to start with.  I felt that one of us should work, and offered the alternatives of (1) stop messing with me, so I could (since it doesn’t appear you want to) or (2) pay up.  Version (1) entailed requesting a restraining order renewal, or 2nd one, or  . . . . or . . . .   and version (2) required — and I pursued this through the assigned agency – – court-ordered child support should actually be collected before our daughters became adults.  However the MAIN conversation was not about what’s good for the children, but who gets to give orders — forever, basically.    I categorically disagreed with this philosophy as being anti-Constitutional and anti-civil rights and anti-reasonable.  My right to disagree was disagreed with, which makes the situation a GREAT pickings for the family law venue, it LOVES “high-conflict” situations — this draws federal moneys and justifies many professions.   
Anyhow, here they are:  the helpers, last year (2008):
While not all of these were birthed, or even nurtured, by California Healthy Marriages Coalition (“the coalition of coalitions model.”  Sounds kind of like the “war to end all wars,” I don’t know….), they were perhaps started as a gleam in SOMEONE”s eye, having been informed of what’s available from Big Brother, who, on behalf of us all, will make all those ouchies better, soon, soon . .       When we “consent” to taxes, it’s good to know what we have consented for them to be distributed to, well, do.    For example,   ///
CFDA Number = 93086 Fiscal Year = 2008  Recipient: ACTIVE RELATIONSHIPS CENTER  Recipient ZIP Code: 75205



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0037
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$550,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$550,000.00



Recipient: AS DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH  Recipient ZIP Code: 96799



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0054
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$450,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$450,000.00



Recipient: AUBURN UNIVERSITY  Recipient ZIP Code: 36849



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0001
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$1,899,487.00


Award Subtotal:
$1,899,487.00



Recipient: AVANCE – AUSTIN CHAPTER  Recipient ZIP Code: 78704



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0063
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$261,825.00


Award Subtotal:
$261,825.00



Recipient: AVANCE – CORPUS CHRISTI CHAPTER  Recipient ZIP Code: 78415



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0071
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: AVANCE – HOUSTON CHAPTER  Recipient ZIP Code: 77092



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0084
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$236,851.00


Award Subtotal:
$236,851.00



Recipient: AVANCE, INC. – EL PASO  Recipient ZIP Code: 79902



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0100
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: Alliance for North Texas Healthy & Effective Marriages  Recipient ZIP Code: 75246



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0072
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$903,425.00


Award Subtotal:
$903,425.00



Recipient: Archuleta County Department of Human Services  Recipient ZIP Code: 81147



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0055
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$200,000.00


2008
90FR0055
2
ACF
1
 07-31-2008
$0.00


Award Subtotal:
$200,000.00



Recipient: Arizona Youth Partnership  Recipient ZIP Code: 85741



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0136
3
ACF
0
 09-17-2008
$550,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$550,000.00



Recipient: BARAGA-HOUGHTON-KEWEENAW CHILD DEVELOPMENT BOARD, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 49931



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0018
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: BEECH ACRES PARENTING CENTER  Recipient ZIP Code: 45230



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0100
2
ACF
1
 07-31-2008
$0.00


2008
90FE0100
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$550,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$550,000.00



Recipient: BEST FRIENDS FOUNDATION  Recipient ZIP Code: 20015



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0058
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$500,724.00


Award Subtotal:
$500,724.00



Recipient: BETHANY CHRISTIAN SERVICES  Recipient ZIP Code: 49501



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0057
3
ACF
0
 09-17-2008
$500,000.00


2008
90FE0098
3
ACF
0
 09-26-2008
$499,980.00


Award Subtotal:
$999,980.00



Recipient: BETTER FAMILY LIFE, INC.  Recipient ZIP Code: 63108



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0023
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$1,097,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$1,097,000.00



Recipient: BILL WILSON CENTER  Recipient ZIP Code: 95052



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0096
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$243,469.00


Award Subtotal:
$243,469.00



Recipient: BOAT PEOPLE S.O.S. INC.  Recipient ZIP Code: 22041



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0032
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$545,806.00


2008
90FR0038
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$795,806.00



Recipient: BOONEVILLE MUNICIPAL SEPERATE SCHOOL DISTRICT  Recipient ZIP Code: 38829



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0036
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$532,675.00


2008
90FE0036
2
ACF
1
 07-31-2008
$0.00


Award Subtotal:
$532,675.00



Recipient: Brighter Beginnings  Recipient ZIP Code: 94601



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0099
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: CAMBODIAN ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 90806



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0065
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$450,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$450,000.00



Recipient: CATHOLIC CHARITIES  Recipient ZIP Code: 67214



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0112
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$530,368.00


Award Subtotal:
$530,368.00



Recipient: CATHOLIC CHARITIES OF ORANGE COUNTY, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 92705



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0080
3
ACF
0
 09-26-2008
$550,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$550,000.00



Recipient: CECIL COUNTY GOVERNMENT  Recipient ZIP Code: 21921



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0018
3
ACF
0
 09-26-2008
$500,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$500,000.00



Recipient: CENTER FOR SELF-SUFFICIENCY, INC.  Recipient ZIP Code: 53211



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0013
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$1,096,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$1,096,000.00



Recipient: CENTERFORCE  Recipient ZIP Code: 94901



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0004
3
ACF
0
 09-26-2008
$481,554.00


Award Subtotal:
$481,554.00



Recipient: CHARACTER COUNTS IN MAINE  Recipient ZIP Code: 04116



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0122
3
ACF
0
 09-17-2008
$500,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$500,000.00



Recipient: CHILD & FAMILY RESOURCES INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 85716



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0059
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$500,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$500,000.00



Recipient: CHILD & FAMILY SERVICES OF NEW HAMPSHIRE  Recipient ZIP Code: 03101



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0077
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$315,830.00


Award Subtotal:
$315,830.00



Recipient: CHILD ABUSE COUNCIL, INC.  Recipient ZIP Code: 33609



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0052
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: CHILD AND FAMILY RESOURCE COUNCIL  Recipient ZIP Code: 49503



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0038
2
ACF
1
 09-14-2008
$0.00


2008
90FE0038
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$1,016,258.00


Award Subtotal:
$1,016,258.00



Recipient: CHILD DEVLOPMENT RESOURCES, INC.  Recipient ZIP Code: 23127



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0043
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$249,999.00


Award Subtotal:
$249,999.00



Recipient: CHILD, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 78751



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0078
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$511,133.00


Award Subtotal:
$511,133.00



Recipient: CHILDREN’S FRIEND AND SERVICE  Recipient ZIP Code: 02903



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0030
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: CHILDREN`S AID SOCIETY IN CLEARFIELD COUNTY  Recipient ZIP Code: 16830



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0118
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$226,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$226,000.00



Recipient: CHILDREN`S INSTITUTE , INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 90005



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0076
2
ACF
1
 09-25-2008
$0.00


2008
90FR0076
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$500,000.00


2008
90FR0088
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$1,000,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$1,500,000.00



Recipient: CHOANOKE AREA DEVELOPMENT ASSOCIATION, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 27869



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0001
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$245,296.00


Award Subtotal:
$245,296.00



Recipient: CHW DBA CALIFORNIA HOSPITAL MEDICAL CENTER  Recipient ZIP Code: 90015



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0071
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: CIRCLE OF PARENTS  Recipient ZIP Code: 60611



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0098
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$1,000,000.00


2008
90FR0098
2
ACF
1
 06-06-2008
$0.00


Award Subtotal:
$1,000,000.00



Recipient: CJH Educational Grant Services, Inc.  Recipient ZIP Code: 27620



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0059
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$550,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$550,000.00



Recipient: CO DEPARTMENT OF HUMAN SERVICES  Recipient ZIP Code: 80236



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0085
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$2,000,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$2,000,000.00



Recipient: COLORADO STATE UNIVERSITY  Recipient ZIP Code: 80523



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0028
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$482,687.00


2008
90FE0028
2
ACF
1
 03-18-2008
$0.00


Award Subtotal:
$482,687.00



Recipient: COMMUNITY ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT ASSN OF COOK COUNTY  Recipient ZIP Code: 60604



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0089
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$450,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$450,000.00



Recipient: COMMUNITY SERVICES FOR CHILDREN, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 18109



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0033
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$228,603.00


Award Subtotal:
$228,603.00



Recipient: CONFEDERATED SALISH & KOOTENAI TRIBES  Recipient ZIP Code: 59855



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FN0007
2
ACF
1
 09-14-2008
$0.00


2008
90FN0007
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$149,940.00


2008
90FR0006
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$465,494.00


Award Subtotal:
$615,434.00



Recipient: CONFEDERATED TRIBES OF SILETZ  Recipient ZIP Code: 97380



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FN0009
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$149,918.00


2008
90FN0009
2
ACF
1
 09-14-2008
$0.00


Award Subtotal:
$149,918.00



Recipient: COOK INLET TRIBAL COUNCIL, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 99508



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0066
2
ACF
1
 07-31-2008
$0.00


2008
90FR0066
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$418,832.00


Award Subtotal:
$418,832.00



Recipient: CORNERSTONE OF HOPE CHURCH  Recipient ZIP Code: 46221



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0119
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$350,560.00


Award Subtotal:
$350,560.00



Recipient: COUNCIL ON PREVENTION & EDUCATION SUBSTANCES, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 40204



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0007
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$259,532.00


2008
90FR0015
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$499,968.00


Award Subtotal:
$759,500.00



Recipient: CRECIENDOS UNIDOS/GROWING TOGETHER  Recipient ZIP Code: 85006



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0010
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$275,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$275,000.00



Recipient: CT ST DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL SERVICES  Recipient ZIP Code: 06106



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0031
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$1,000,000.00


2008
90FR0031
2
ACF
1
 07-31-2008
$0.00


Award Subtotal:
$1,000,000.00



Recipient: CURATORS OF THE UNIVERSITY OF MISSOURI  Recipient ZIP Code: 65211



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0130
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$499,775.00


Award Subtotal:
$499,775.00



Recipient: CUYAHOGA COUNTY BOARD OF COUNTY COMMISSIONERS  Recipient ZIP Code: 44113



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0052
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$533,730.00


Award Subtotal:
$533,730.00



Recipient: California Healthy Marriages Coalition  Recipient ZIP Code: 92024



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0104
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$2,400,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$2,400,000.00



Recipient: Child Find of America, Inc.  Recipient ZIP Code: 12561



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0020
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: Community Marriage Builders, Inc.  Recipient ZIP Code: 47714



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0034
3
ACF
0
 09-17-2008
$543,303.00


Award Subtotal:
$543,303.00



Recipient: Comprehensive Youth Services of Fresno, Inc.  Recipient ZIP Code: 93726



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0053
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


2008
90FR0053
2
ACF
1
 07-31-2008
$0.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: DC DEPARTMENT OF HUMAN SERVICES  Recipient ZIP Code: 20032



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0087
3
ACF
0
 09-26-2008
$2,000,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$2,000,000.00



Recipient: Denver Indian Family Resource Center  Recipient ZIP Code: 80226



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0081
2
ACF
1
 09-26-2008
$0.00


2008
90FR0081
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$198,280.00


Award Subtotal:
$198,280.00



Recipient: Detroit Workforce Development Department  Recipient ZIP Code: 48202



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0073
3
ACF
0
 09-26-2008
$500,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$500,000.00



Recipient: EAST CAROLINA UNIVERSITY  Recipient ZIP Code: 27858



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0017
3
ACF
0
 09-26-2008
$525,161.00


Award Subtotal:
$525,161.00



Recipient: EAST LOS ANGELES COMMUNITY UNION  Recipient ZIP Code: 90022



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0056
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$1,100,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$1,100,000.00



Recipient: EL PASO CENTER FOR CHILDREN  Recipient ZIP Code: 79930



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0088
3
ACF
0
 09-17-2008
$550,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$550,000.00



Recipient: ELIZABETHS NEW LIFE CENTER  Recipient ZIP Code: 45405



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0035
3
ACF
0
 09-17-2008
$1,859,692.00


Award Subtotal:
$1,859,692.00



Recipient: Employment Opportunity & Training Center of Northeaster  Recipient ZIP Code: 18503



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0060
3
ACF
0
 09-26-2008
$225,608.00


Award Subtotal:
$225,608.00



Recipient: Exchange Club Center for the Prevention of Child Abuse  Recipient ZIP Code: 34981



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0025
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$242,822.00


Award Subtotal:
$242,822.00



Recipient: FAMILY & CHILDREN’S SERVICE, INC.  Recipient ZIP Code: 74120



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0007
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: FAMILY RESOURCES INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 33733



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0132
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$1,100,000.00


2008
90FE0132
2
ACF
1
 07-31-2008
$0.00


Award Subtotal:
$1,100,000.00



Recipient: FIRST A M E CHILD DEVELOPMENT CENTER  Recipient ZIP Code: 98122



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0032
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: FIRST NATIONS COMMUNITY HEALTHSOURCE  Recipient ZIP Code: 87108



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0061
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$300,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$300,000.00



Recipient: FIRST THINGS FIRST  Recipient ZIP Code: 37405



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0031
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$1,099,953.00


Award Subtotal:
$1,099,953.00



Recipient: FOREST COUNTY POTAWATOMI COMMUNITY  Recipient ZIP Code: 54520



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FN0006
2
ACF
1
 09-14-2008
$0.00


2008
90FN0006
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$150,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$150,000.00



Recipient: FOREST INSTITUTE OF PROFESSIONAL PSYCHOLOGY  Recipient ZIP Code: 65807



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0110
3
ACF
0
 09-17-2008
$940,669.00


Award Subtotal:
$940,669.00



Recipient: FORTUNE SOCIETY, INC (THE)  Recipient ZIP Code: 10011



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0017
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: FOUNDATION FOR A GREAT MARRIAGE  Recipient ZIP Code: 54115



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0108
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$550,000.00


2008
90FE0124
3
ACF
0
 09-17-2008
$550,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$1,100,000.00



Recipient: FOUNTAIN OF LIFE INTERNATIONAL MINISTRIES  Recipient ZIP Code: 33027



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0073
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$438,383.00


Award Subtotal:
$438,383.00



Recipient: FRIENDSHIP WEST BAPTIST CHURCH  Recipient ZIP Code: 75232



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0117
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$542,025.00


Award Subtotal:
$542,025.00



Recipient: Family Guidance, Inc.  Recipient ZIP Code: 15143



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0103
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$1,510,098.00


Award Subtotal:
$1,510,098.00



Recipient: Family Service Center at Houston and Harris County  Recipient ZIP Code: 77006



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0082
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$477,539.00


Award Subtotal:
$477,539.00



Recipient: Family Service, Inc  Recipient ZIP Code: 01840



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0087
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$227,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$227,000.00



Recipient: Family Services of Westchester, Inc.  Recipient ZIP Code: 10573



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0036
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$497,812.00


Award Subtotal:
$497,812.00



Recipient: Fathers & Families Resources/Research Center  Recipient ZIP Code: 46208



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0048
3
ACF
0
 09-17-2008
$550,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$550,000.00



Recipient: Florida State University  Recipient ZIP Code: 32306



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0022
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$530,009.00


Award Subtotal:
$530,009.00



Recipient: Future Foundation  Recipient ZIP Code: 30344



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0045
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$402,632.00


Award Subtotal:
$402,632.00



Recipient: GA ST DEPARTMENT OF HUMAN RESOURCES  Recipient ZIP Code: 30303



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0064
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$225,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$225,000.00



Recipient: GOODWILL INDUSTRIES INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 55104



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0068
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$500,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$500,000.00



Recipient: GOODWILL INDUSTRIES OF CENTRAL TEXAS, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 78753



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0051
2
ACF
1
 09-25-2008
$0.00


2008
90FR0051
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$240,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$240,000.00



Recipient: GOODWILL INDUSTRIES OF PITTSBURGH  Recipient ZIP Code: 15202



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0063
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$225,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$225,000.00



Recipient: GRANATO COUNSELING SERVICES  Recipient ZIP Code: 22182



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0006
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$548,932.00


Award Subtotal:
$548,932.00



Recipient: GWINNETT CHILDRENS SHELTER  Recipient ZIP Code: 30515



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0104
2
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: HEALTHY FAMILIES COUNSELING & SUPPORT  Recipient ZIP Code: 64119



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0008
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$500,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$500,000.00



Recipient: HEALTHY FAMILY INITIATIVES  Recipient ZIP Code: 77074



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0081
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$537,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$537,000.00



Recipient: HEALTHY START, INC.  Recipient ZIP Code: 15208



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0103
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$900,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$900,000.00



Recipient: HOOPA VALLEY BUSINESS COUNCIL, EDUCATION DEPARTMENT  Recipient ZIP Code: 95546



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FN0001
2
ACF
1
 09-26-2008
$0.00


2008
90FN0001
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$146,750.00


Award Subtotal:
$146,750.00



Recipient: Healthy Families/Thriving Communities Collaborative Cou  Recipient ZIP Code: 20009



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0049
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$500,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$500,000.00



Recipient: High Country Consulting LLC  Recipient ZIP Code: 82001



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0025
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$549,952.00


Award Subtotal:
$549,952.00



Recipient: IOWA FAMILY POLICY CENTER  Recipient ZIP Code: 50327



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0126
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$550,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$550,000.00



Recipient: Identity, Inc  Recipient ZIP Code: 20877



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0090
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: Imperial Valley Regional Occupational Program  Recipient ZIP Code: 92243



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0075
2
ACF
1
 03-18-2008
$0.00


2008
90FE0075
3
ACF
0
 09-17-2008
$515,615.00


Award Subtotal:
$515,615.00



Recipient: Indiana Department of Correction  Recipient ZIP Code: 46204



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0019
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$249,896.00


2008
90FR0101
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$400,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$649,896.00



Recipient: Indiana Youth Institute  Recipient ZIP Code: 46204



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0086
2
ACF
1
 09-26-2008
$0.00


2008
90FR0086
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$999,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$999,000.00



Recipient: JOHN BROWN UNIVERSITY  Recipient ZIP Code: 72761



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0004
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$544,782.00


Award Subtotal:
$544,782.00



Recipient: Jewish Family & Children`s Service of Sarasota-Manatee,  Recipient ZIP Code: 34237



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0068
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$494,943.00


Award Subtotal:
$494,943.00



Recipient: Kanawha Institute for Social Research & Action, Inc.  Recipient ZIP Code: 25064



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0012
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$497,514.00


Award Subtotal:
$497,514.00



Recipient: Kentucky River Foothills Development Council, Inc.  Recipient ZIP Code: 40475



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0125
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$490,680.00


Award Subtotal:
$490,680.00



Recipient: LATIN AMERICAN YOUTH CENTER  Recipient ZIP Code: 20007



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0072
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$250,000.00


2008
90FR0072
2
ACF
1
 04-29-2008
$0.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: LAUGH YOUR WAY AMERICA  Recipient ZIP Code: 54481



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0005
3
ACF
0
 09-17-2008
$274,933.00


Award Subtotal:
$274,933.00



Recipient: LIGHTHOUSE YOUTH SERVICES, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 45206



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0005
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$500,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$500,000.00



Recipient: LIVE THE LIFE MINISTRIES  Recipient ZIP Code: 32317



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0077
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$549,985.00


Award Subtotal:
$549,985.00



Recipient: LONGVIEW WELNESS CENTER  Recipient ZIP Code: 75601



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0091
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$1,500,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$1,500,000.00



Recipient: LUTHERAN SOCIAL SERVICES OF SOUTH DAKOTA  Recipient ZIP Code: 57105



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0097
2
ACF
1
 09-14-2008
$0.00


2008
90FR0097
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$500,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$500,000.00



Recipient: MARRIAGE SAVERS OF CLARK COUNTY  Recipient ZIP Code: 45503



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0009
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$540,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$540,000.00



Recipient: MD ST DEPARTMENT OF HUMAN RESOURCES  Recipient ZIP Code: 21201



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0091
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$899,991.00


2008
90FR0092
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$441,514.00


Award Subtotal:
$1,341,505.00



Recipient: MODEL CITIES – EL PASO  Recipient ZIP Code: 79935



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0053
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$499,758.00


Award Subtotal:
$499,758.00



Recipient: MOREHOUSE COLLEGE  Recipient ZIP Code: 30314



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0066
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$549,147.00


Award Subtotal:
$549,147.00



Recipient: Madison Cty Com Health Centers, Inc  Recipient ZIP Code: 46015



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0039
3
ACF
0
 09-17-2008
$546,983.00


Award Subtotal:
$546,983.00



Recipient: Meier Clinics Foundation  Recipient ZIP Code: 60187



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0011
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$2,000,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$2,000,000.00



Recipient: Metro United Methodist Urban Ministry  Recipient ZIP Code: 92116



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0016
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$268,349.00


Award Subtotal:
$268,349.00



Recipient: Minnesota Council on Crime and Justice  Recipient ZIP Code: 55406



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0028
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$400,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$400,000.00



Recipient: Montrose County Health and Human Services  Recipient ZIP Code: 81401



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0079
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$249,552.00


Award Subtotal:
$249,552.00



Recipient: NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF MARRIAGE ENHANCEMENT  Recipient ZIP Code: 85022



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0040
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: NATIONAL FATHERHOOD INITIATIVE  Recipient ZIP Code: 20877



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FB0001
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$999,534.00


Award Subtotal:
$999,534.00



Recipient: NATIONAL MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS SOCIETY  Recipient ZIP Code: 10017



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0090
2
ACF
1
 06-06-2008
$0.00


2008
90FE0090
3
ACF
0
 09-17-2008
$495,285.00


Award Subtotal:
$495,285.00



Recipient: NATIONAL ORGANIZATION OF CONCERNED BLACK MEN, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 20006



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0047
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: NEW MEXICO STATE UNIVERSITY REGENTS  Recipient ZIP Code: 88003



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0135
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$494,996.00


2008
90FR0057
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$218,336.00


Award Subtotal:
$713,332.00



Recipient: NJ ST DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS  Recipient ZIP Code: 08625



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0026
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$394,248.00


Award Subtotal:
$394,248.00



Recipient: NORTHWEST FAMILY SERVICES  Recipient ZIP Code: 97213



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0079
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$1,100,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$1,100,000.00



Recipient: NW Marriage Institute  Recipient ZIP Code: 98682



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0041
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$275,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$275,000.00



Recipient: New York Youth At Risk, Inc.  Recipient ZIP Code: 10038



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0093
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$225,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$225,000.00



Recipient: Northwood-Apppold United Methodist Church  Recipient ZIP Code: 21218



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0062
3
ACF
0
 09-17-2008
$400,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$400,000.00



Recipient: Nueva Esperanza  Recipient ZIP Code: 19140



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0069
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$550,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$550,000.00



Recipient: OAKLAND FAMILY SERVICES  Recipient ZIP Code: 48053



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0070
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$200,170.00


Award Subtotal:
$200,170.00



Recipient: OAKLAND/LIVINGSTON HUMAN SERVICES AGENCY  Recipient ZIP Code: 48056



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0010
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$368,555.00


Award Subtotal:
$368,555.00



Recipient: OH St Governor`s Office of Faith Based & Comm Initiativ  Recipient ZIP Code: 43215



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0109
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$544,140.00


Award Subtotal:
$544,140.00



Recipient: OK ST DEPARTMENT OF HUMAN SERVICES  Recipient ZIP Code: 73125



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0030
2
ACF
1
 03-18-2008
$0.00


2008
90FE0030
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$549,791.00


Award Subtotal:
$549,791.00



Recipient: OPERATION KEEPSAKE  Recipient ZIP Code: 44087



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0021
2
ACF
1
 03-18-2008
$0.00


2008
90FE0021
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$459,419.00


Award Subtotal:
$459,419.00



Recipient: OPPORTUNITIES INDUSTRIAL CENTER OF AMERICA, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 19122



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0016
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$550,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$550,000.00



Recipient: Osborne Association, Inc.  Recipient ZIP Code: 10455



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0050
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$448,856.00


2008
90FR0050
2
ACF
1
 07-31-2008
$0.00


2008
90FR0056
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$698,856.00



Recipient: PAIRS FOUNDATION  Recipient ZIP Code: 33332



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0029
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$990,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$990,000.00



Recipient: PARENTS PLUS  Recipient ZIP Code: 54952



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0113
3
ACF
0
 09-17-2008
$549,629.00


2008
90FE0113
2
ACF
1
 07-31-2008
$0.00


Award Subtotal:
$549,629.00



Recipient: PEACE, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 13202



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0107
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$465,937.00


Award Subtotal:
$465,937.00



Recipient: PEER ASSISTANCE SERVICES, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 80231



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0020
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$525,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$525,000.00



Recipient: PERSONAL INVOLVEMENT CENTER  Recipient ZIP Code: 90003



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0092
3
ACF
0
 09-26-2008
$550,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$550,000.00



Recipient: PITTSBURG PRESCHOOL COORDINATION COUNCIL, INC.  Recipient ZIP Code: 94565



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0012
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$550,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$550,000.00



Recipient: PREGNANCY SUPPORT CENTER OF STARK COUNTY  Recipient ZIP Code: 44708



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0055
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$535,075.00


Award Subtotal:
$535,075.00



Recipient: PRIVATE INDUSTRY COUNCIL OF WESTMORELAND FAYETTE INC.  Recipient ZIP Code: 15601



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0075
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


2008
90FR0075
2
ACF
1
 07-31-2008
$0.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: PROJECT S.O.S., INC.  Recipient ZIP Code: 32224



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0074
3
ACF
0
 09-17-2008
$454,332.00


Award Subtotal:
$454,332.00



Recipient: PUBLIC STRATEGIES INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 73116



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0026
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$1,000,000.00


2008
90FH0001
3
ACF
0
 09-29-2008
$3,250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$4,250,000.00



Recipient Recipient: PUERTO RICAN FAMILY INSTITUTE, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 10011



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0013
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$900,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$900,000.00



Recipient: Parents as Teachers National Center, Inc.  Recipient ZIP Code: 63146



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0080
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: Professional Counseling Resources, Inc.  Recipient ZIP Code: 19805



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0046
3
ACF
0
 09-26-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: QUILEUTE INDIAN TRIBE  Recipient ZIP Code: 98350



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FN0002
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$150,000.00


2008
90FN0002
2
ACF
1
 09-26-2008
$0.00


Award Subtotal:
$150,000.00



Recipient: RECAPTURING THE VISION, INTERNATIONAL, INC.  Recipient ZIP Code: 33157



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0043
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$550,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$550,000.00



Recipient: RED CLIFF TRIBE  Recipient ZIP Code: 54814



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FN0003
2
ACF
1
 09-14-2008
$0.00


2008
90FN0003
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$146,672.00


Award Subtotal:
$146,672.00



Recipient: REGION II COMMUNITY ACTION AGENCY  Recipient ZIP Code: 49204



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0078
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$203,854.00


Award Subtotal:
$203,854.00



Recipient: REGION XIX EDUCATION SERVICE CENTER  Recipient ZIP Code: 79925



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0042
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$900,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$900,000.00



Recipient: RIDGE Project, Inc  Recipient ZIP Code: 43527



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0044
2
ACF
1
 06-06-2008
$0.00


2008
90FR0044
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$412,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$412,000.00



Recipient: ROCKDALE HOSPITAL & HEALTH SYSTEM  Recipient ZIP Code: 30012



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0014
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$455,510.00


Award Subtotal:
$455,510.00



Recipient: ROSALIE MANOR  Recipient ZIP Code: 53210



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0037
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$500,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$500,000.00



Recipient: Read To Me International Foundation  Recipient ZIP Code: 96815



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0062
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: Relationship Research Foundation, Inc.  Recipient ZIP Code: 92612



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0058
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: Resource, Inc  Recipient ZIP Code: 55404



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0022
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: Resources for Children`s Health  Recipient ZIP Code: 19102



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0040
2
ACF
2
 09-26-2008
$0.00


2008
90FR0040
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: SAMARITAN COUNSELING CENTER  Recipient ZIP Code: 87102



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0067
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$549,961.00


Award Subtotal:
$549,961.00



Recipient: SAMARITAN COUNSELING CENTERS  Recipient ZIP Code: 97212



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0121
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$462,919.00


Award Subtotal:
$462,919.00



Recipient: SOUTH PUGET INTERTRIBAL PLANNING AGENCY  Recipient ZIP Code: 98584



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FN0004
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$150,000.00


2008
90FN0004
2
ACF
1
 09-14-2008
$0.00


Award Subtotal:
$150,000.00



Recipient: SOUTHERN UNIVERSITY AND A&M COLLEGE  Recipient ZIP Code: 70813



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0027
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$249,548.00


Award Subtotal:
$249,548.00



Recipient: SOUTHWEST KEY PROGRAMS, INC.  Recipient ZIP Code: 78704



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0034
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$460,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$460,000.00



Recipient: ST MARY COMMUNITY ACTION AGENCY  Recipient ZIP Code: 70538



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0094
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$230,092.00


Award Subtotal:
$230,092.00



Recipient: SUNY, STONY BROOK  Recipient ZIP Code: 11794



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0131
2
ACF
1
 09-14-2008
$0.00


2008
90FE0131
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$549,910.00


Award Subtotal:
$549,910.00



Recipient: SUQUAMISH & KLALLAM HEALTH PLAN  Recipient ZIP Code: 98346



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FN0010
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$150,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$150,000.00



Recipient: Sacramento Healthy Marriage Project  Recipient ZIP Code: 95821



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0015
2
ACF
1
 09-26-2008
$0.00


2008
90FE0015
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$549,256.00


Award Subtotal:
$549,256.00



Recipient: Scholarship and Guidance Association  Recipient ZIP Code: 60603



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0042
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$483,333.00


2008
90FE0137
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$242,770.00


Award Subtotal:
$726,103.00



Recipient: Shalom Task Force  Recipient ZIP Code: 10274



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0106
3
ACF
0
 09-17-2008
$480,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$480,000.00



Recipient: Shelby County Division of Corrections  Recipient ZIP Code: 38103



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0067
2
ACF
1
 09-14-2008
$0.00


2008
90FR0067
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$500,000.00


2008
90FR0095
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$485,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$985,000.00



Recipient: South Coast Business Employment Corporation  Recipient ZIP Code: 97420



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0023
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$400,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$400,000.00



Recipient: St. Louis Healthy Marriage Coalition  Recipient ZIP Code: 63103



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0133
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$1,099,882.00


2008
90FE0133
2
ACF
1
 06-06-2008
$0.00


Award Subtotal:
$1,099,882.00



Recipient: TANANA CHIEFS CONFERENCE  Recipient ZIP Code: 99701



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FN0005
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$146,016.00


2008
90FN0005
2
ACF
1
 09-14-2008
$0.00


Award Subtotal:
$146,016.00



Recipient: TEEN-AID, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 99207



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0102
3
ACF
0
 09-26-2008
$495,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$495,000.00



Recipient: TEXAS ARMS OF LOVE (dba, PEOPLE OF PRINCIPLE)  Recipient ZIP Code: 79761



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0102
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$425,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$425,000.00



Recipient: TEXAS HEALTH & HUMAN SERVICES COMMISSION  Recipient ZIP Code: 78711



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0019
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$900,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$900,000.00



Recipient: TEXAS STATE UNIVERSITY-SAN MARCOS  Recipient ZIP Code: 78666



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0128
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$497,641.00


Award Subtotal:
$497,641.00



Recipient: THE DIBBLE FUND FOR MARRIAGE EDUCATION  Recipient ZIP Code:



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0024
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$550,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$550,000.00



Recipient: THE FAMILY HEALTH AND EDUCATION INSTITUTE, INC.  Recipient ZIP Code: 20706



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0084
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$500,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$500,000.00



Recipient: THE HIVE CREATIVE GROUP  Recipient ZIP Code: 36303



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0093
3
ACF
0
 09-26-2008
$550,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$550,000.00



Recipient: THE VILLAGE FOR FAMILIES & CHILDREN, INC`  Recipient ZIP Code: 06105



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0045
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: THERAPY HELP, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 80220



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0123
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$550,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$550,000.00



Recipient: TLINGIT & HAIDA TRIBES CENTRAL COUNCIL  Recipient ZIP Code: 99801



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FN0008
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$150,000.00


2008
90FN0008
2
ACF
1
 09-26-2008
$0.00


Award Subtotal:
$150,000.00



Recipient: TRINITY HEALTH-ST JOSEPH MERCY-OAKLAND  Recipient ZIP Code: 48341



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0099
3
ACF
0
 09-17-2008
$545,730.00


Award Subtotal:
$545,730.00



Recipient: The Family Life Line, Inc.  Recipient ZIP Code: 87124



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0115
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$495,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$495,000.00



Recipient: The South Carolina Center for Fathers and Families  Recipient ZIP Code: 29204



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0021
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$499,456.00


Award Subtotal:
$499,456.00



Recipient: Trinity Church, Inc  Recipient ZIP Code: 33168



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0060
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$550,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$550,000.00



Recipient: UNITED WAY OF JACKSON COUNTY, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 49201



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0138
2
ACF
0
 02-11-2008
$1,099,461.00


Award Subtotal:
$1,099,461.00



Recipient: UNIVERSITY BEHAVIORAL ASSOCIATES  Recipient ZIP Code: 10467



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0086
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$495,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$495,000.00



Recipient: UNIVERSITY OF ARKANSAS FOR MEDICAL SCIENCES  Recipient ZIP Code: 72205



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0041
2
ACF
1
 08-26-2008
$0.00


2008
90FR0041
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: UNIVERSITY OF CENTRAL FLORIDA  Recipient ZIP Code: 32826



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0003
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$273,293.00


Award Subtotal:
$273,293.00



Recipient: UNIVERSITY OF LOUISVILLE RESEARCH FOUNDATION  Recipient ZIP Code: 40292



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0002
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$542,920.00


Award Subtotal:
$542,920.00



Recipient: UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA AT CHAPEL HILL  Recipient ZIP Code: 27599



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0094
2
ACF
1
 06-06-2008
$0.00


2008
90FE0094
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$530,482.00


Award Subtotal:
$530,482.00



Recipient: UPPER DES MOINES OPPORTUNITY, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 51342



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0082
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$225,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$225,000.00



Recipient: UTAH STATE UNIVERSITY  Recipient ZIP Code: 84322



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0129
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$417,324.00


Award Subtotal:
$417,324.00



Recipient: Urban Ventures Leadership Foundation  Recipient ZIP Code: 55408



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0033
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: VISITING NURSE ASSOCIATION  Recipient ZIP Code: 05401



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0029
2
ACF
1
 07-31-2008
$0.00


2008
90FR0029
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: VISTA COMMUNITY CLINIC  Recipient ZIP Code: 92084



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0024
3
ACF
0
 09-26-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: WAIT Training  Recipient ZIP Code: 80111



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0051
3
ACF
0
 09-26-2008
$1,010,330.00


Award Subtotal:
$1,010,330.00



Recipient: WAYNE METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY ACTION AGENCY  Recipient ZIP Code: 48192



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0008
2
ACF
2
 06-06-2008
$0.00


2008
90FR0008
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



Recipient: WELD COUNTY RESOURCES DEPARTMENT  Recipient ZIP Code: 80632



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0134
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$974,358.00


Award Subtotal:
$974,358.00



Recipient: WOMEN’S OPPORTUNITY AND RESOURCE DEVELOPMENT, INC.  Recipient ZIP Code: 59802



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0054
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$212,399.00


2008
90FR0054
2
ACF
1
 06-06-2008
$0.00


Award Subtotal:
$212,399.00



Recipient: WSOS COMMUNITY ACTION COMMISSION, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 43420



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0011
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$249,492.00


Award Subtotal:
$249,492.00



Recipient: YORK COUNTY COMMUNITY ACTION CORPORATION  Recipient ZIP Code: 04073



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0014
2
ACF
1
 06-06-2008
$0.00


2008
90FR0014
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$245,333.00


Award Subtotal:
$245,333.00



Recipient: YOUTH DEVELOPMENT, INC  Recipient ZIP Code: 87105



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0047
3
ACF
0
 09-25-2008
$900,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$900,000.00



Recipient: YWCA OF SAN ANTONIO  Recipient ZIP Code: 78205



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FE0127
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$529,585.00


Award Subtotal:
$529,585.00



Recipient: YouthLaunch, Inc.  Recipient ZIP Code: 78731



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0069
3
ACF
0
 09-14-2008
$243,315.00


Award Subtotal:
$243,315.00



Recipient: enFAMILIA, Inc  Recipient ZIP Code: 33033



FY
Award Number
Budget Year of Support
Agency
Award Code
Action Issue Date
Amount This Action


2008
90FR0039
3
ACF
0
 09-22-2008
$250,000.00


Award Subtotal:
$250,000.00



 



Total of all awards:
$118,310,126.00



   FOR OUR NEXT “CLASS” WE WILL LEARN HOW TO EXAMINE ONE OR TWO OF THESE GRANT RECIPIENTS.     ///
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Written by Let's Get Honest|She Looks It Up

August 24, 2009 at 2:32 pm

Posted in Cast, Script, Characters, Scenery, Stage Directions, Designer Families, Funding Fathers - literally, Organizations, Foundations, Associations NGO Hybrids, public education

Tagged with Abstinence Education, Declaration of Independence/Bill of Rights, Education, fatherhood, Healthy Marriages Promoting Responsible Fatherhood, HHS-TAGGS grants database, obfuscation, Responsible Citizenhood, social commentary, Studying Humans, U.S. Govt $$ hard @ work.., USASPENDING.GOV database

Early Childhood Melodrama — Amber Alerts, Restraining orders, Missing Moms or Dads

with one comment

(This first one ALMOST makes the case for abstinence education or CHMC’s $11 million grant for “saturating the state” with healthy marriage education -target population everyone age 15 or over – IF there was some proof it worked, and if the government should have been in the business — and it is one — of either marriages OR education to start with, which it wasn’t, originally)(and IF it weren’t at the same time abusing federal funds to the states in other categories, which it is…)

AMBER ALERT ISSUED FOR 2-MONTH-OLD BOY TAKEN BY FATHER

PLEASANTON [California] (BCN)

An Amber Alert has been issued for a 2-month-old boy who was taken by force from his mother by his father and uncle in Pleasanton early this morning.

The abduction was reported shortly after 4:45 a.m. in the area of Holland Drive and Payne Road, police Sgt. Barry Mickleburgh said.

Police received near-simultaneous calls from the distraught mother and from neighbors reporting a woman crying inside a vehicle.

The mother, a 17-year-old girl, told arriving officers that 2-month-old Davion Bryceon Dunn was strapped in a car seat in the back of a car when the father, 18-year-old Damiante Dunn, approached and assaulted her.

A female friend had just driven the mother and her baby back from a party, police said. The mother said Dunn had been calling her during the evening and threatening to take the child away if she didn’t tell him where she was, police said.

[[17 yr old girl 2 month old baby, all-night party]] [[Somehow there seems to be more than meets the eye here]].

Damiante Dunn’s brother, 20-year-old Kalandre Dunn, was with him during the confrontation this morning and began assaulting the girl’s friend, who was struggling to hold the baby in the car seat, police said.

Kelandre Dunn allegedly punched the woman in the face and took the baby, according to police.

The Dunn brothers then allegedly drove off with the child in a white 1988 Oldsmobile with 22-inch rims. The car was last seen headed south on Hopyard Road, police said.

Damiante Dunn is described as a black man, 5 feet 11 inches tall and weighing 167 pounds. He has black hair and brown eyes. He was last seen wearing a black T-shirt and black jeans along with a red hat with a white “W” on it and black tennis shoes.

Kelandre Dunn is also black, 5 feet 10 inches tall and weighs 190 pounds with black hair and brown eyes, police said. He was last seen wearing black shorts, a white T-shirt and a black, red and white San Francisco 49ers hat.

The baby was wearing a white “onesie” with a teddy bear on the front.

Pleasanton police issued an Amber Alert but don’t yet have the Oldsmobile’s license plate number.

Authorities are trying to pinpoint where the brothers may have headed.

“They may have ties to Richmond but we’re not able to confirm any of that yet,” Mickleburgh said this morning.

Anyone who spots the Oldsmobile or has information on the baby’s whereabouts is asked to call Pleasanton police at (925) 931-5100.

OK LET’s THINK ABOU THIS, STARTING WITH HOW SOMEONE’S MELODRAMA BECAME A HEADLINE:

Somehow we have an 18 year old (referred to as a man, and the baby’s father) and a 17 year old (referred to in press as a juvenile, the baby’s mother, a girl and a woman) with a little baby, that she had either before or after turning 17, most likely before completing high school.

Where is work and where is college on the plan for either parent? And how does this fit in with an all-night party (coming home at near 5am) and a restraining order, already! And with not living together somehow? To remedy that , the man (18) and brother (21) come and ambush and snatch the baby when the car is stopped (acc. to one account), dragging it from the carseat and assaulting, apparently both women in the car.

With a restraining order one, were the car doors locked or windows open? I didn’t read about broken glass. What occasioned the restraining order?

Why should the American public keep giving money to be put into school systems that are so “smart” they have to pour in extra funds to remedy what they didn’t do the first time (through programs like: healthy marriage abstinence education — still going strong, by the way, I believe, and funded — fatherhood promotion (conducted from within prison sometimes), access visitation funding to the states to get absent Dads (primarily) more involved with their children so the Moms will get off welfare (only this happens to hit Moms NOT on welfare equally hard, as it affects due process in the courts, by diverting legal issues into mediation, parenting classes, etc.) (and sometimes recruits Dads from child support collection offices, in which case the general idea is to bribe Dad to get more involved with their children, and “hope” that some more funds will show up somewhere, whether or not these actually get to the kids) – – and then we utilize police officers to go fetch back a stolen baby, after court resources to issues a restraining order, serving it — and obviously not heeded. Apparently only the existence of the restraining order actually motivated the amber alert to start with.

WHY SHOULD WE BE PAYING THE GOVERNMENT TO CLEAN UP WHAT IT SCREWED UP TO START WITH? IF IT DOESN’T TRUST FAMILIES TO RAISE AND EDUCATE! THEIR OWN KIDS, THEN IT OUGHT TO DO A BETTER JOB, AND A REMARKABLY BETTER ONE, TOO! As it was (below) one of the mothers of the young men persuaded them to turn themselves in and the baby over. They weren’t “caught” except that the alarm was actually sent out.

By the way, the theme of the public school education is NOT being religious (although I say it is), for which nonprofits are formed by both faith organizations and atheist organizations to fight — basically — each other over the public schools.

One of the former, Pacific Justice Institute, I believe was involved in fighting the city of Lodi, California because it wanted to ban the use of the word “Jesus” in public prayer by city officials (or something). They fight for civil rights of some parents (typically Christian, I think) in the public school system. Meanwhile, Focus on the Family a few years back was urging all God-fearing Christian parents to withdraw their children from the public school system in California. Focus on the Family and Dobson (et al. — Promise-Keepers, etc.) are like lukewarm, diluted skim milk on the issue of wife-beating among their ranks. It’s the “family” thing, you know (some of this has played into our case and life history). The atheists take issue, alternately, with the words “under God” in the pledge of allegiance and prayer in schools.

The above paragraph may sound like a ramble, but these are things I have been studying, and which you can too, with time, and checking some of the databases, and significant comparison of internet information with life experiences and laws. Come to think of it, a good deal of this blog might be considered a “ramble,” but that’s my First Amendment privilege — to squawk about things, and assemble, virtually, asking others to get informed and take a second look. Sometimes I even get around to recommending action, in the form of conducting audits. I don’t mean getting someone else to, I mean getting basic, relevant facts yourself after there’s enough background research to get a feel for what’s going on.

It may be possible to homogenize the school system with its incredibly diverse (overall, if not within individual school districts!!) and get it right, one generation, or the other, or maybe about (at this rate) 5 generations from now, if then. Let’s talk about how milk gets homogenized and pasteurized (heating it to a point that beneficial enzymes are killed).

One way might to homogenize the school populations but not have so many teen pregnancies and child-abductions, child abuse, and of course the social plague of fatherlessness, might be teach children NOT to think (the pharmaceutical industry and behavioral health industries can help — and are). I think the psychotropic manner might not be too advisable — some of these DV murder/suicides occurr right after someone was on antipsychotics or let out (Toms River, NJ case in point) of a mental institution. Was it their treatment there, the drugs, or what that right afterwards, someone kills? And if you do too much sedating, the basic human drives might also fall idle, which would then cause problems of production AND procreation. I’m not totally informed, but every now and then one reads about the attempt to create an artificial womb, AND sperm, so perhaps with time, humans will be indeed manufactured like genetically modified vegetables. Mainstream media movies sure have picked up on this long ago, the older one “Robot” and a current one “Surrogates.”

The first-century (A.D. or C.E.) version of this was called gladiators, the real ones. Real blood, and really for entertainment.

Another way might be for a distant government to stop billing the entire country (both those with and those without children) to run things from Washington that weren’t even on the Founder’s brains to do, as in, rather than limiting government to keep it OUT of individual’s lives more than necessary, to expanding it to the point that individuals CANNOT safely have a life without actually working for the government, just about! (recent news item.

Two on-the-clock, armed, Marin County sheriff’s deputies on the same bridge where a woman (and man) was shot to death in a tollbooth recently — for trying to separate, and the man involved, for helping a woman trying to separate — they witnessed the shooting homicide of a 51 and 58 year old man and woman. The deputies were not harmed in this incident, and it could be said they took actions to limit deaths to “only” two, but it does kind of make you wonder — didn’t those two, who died, pay some taxes in their middle aged lifetime so they wouldn’t go onto a bridge and die? So maybe the solution is that we either become, as a country, nothing BUT government institutions (no private lives whatsoever, except for the elite) or we really, really reconsider the phrase “of, by and for the people” and take it literally.

Another way might be to put the burden of educating their children on ALL parents. Like this:

“You want to have kids? Well, whether you do or not is not government business (now THAT would be a novel concept! !!), but IF you do, and they stay in this country, YOU have to be to teach them basic reading, basic math — and basic civic literacy, including the Constitution. This includes in English, too. They do not all have to be reading by even age 5, and no, you do not have to farm them out to be “prepared for school” (what a low goal, given the U.S. Schools systems!), But they DO have to be reading by age 7, barring some serious identified disability — in the CHILD, not in the TEACHERS or in the SCHOOLS! “

If these aren’t parent competencies, then parents can become competent in finding someone they trust who CAN teach these things. Locally, if possible, and then get the basics (including don’t hit, kill, steal, and have sex with the students, or for the most part, students with each other – particularly without protection — until you have something (legal) really going for you as to values, interests, and direction in life.

(A Richmond, CA group linked to California Healthy Marriages site, promotes books, including this one:

Myth of the Common School
Charles Leslie Glenn, Jr.

In this thoughtful, well-wrought study, Charles L. Glenn examines the historical development of the idea that the State should sponsor popular education in order to mold common loyalties and values among its citizens in the interest of national unity. This idea had led inevitably to conflict with parents and groups who do not accept the values and beliefs inculcated by the state and its educators. {{AN INHERENT, BUILT-IN CONFLICT, AND I SAY, WHEN SUCH THINGS EXIST, THE QUESTION TO ASK IS, WHO PROFITS FROM IT? SAME QUESTION COULD AND SHOULD BE ASKED WHEN IT COMES TO THE FAMILY LAW ANSWER. THE ANSWER IS IN THE $$ — WHAT BUSINESSES ARE THESE FAILURES SUPPORTING? THEN IN THE VIEWPOINT OF THOSE BUSINESSES, THE “SYSTEMS” HAVE NOT “FAILED” AT ALL, BUT SUCCEEDED! IT JUST DEPENDS WHOSE BALANCE SHEET IS BEING EXAMINED!}}

Over the years, the issues around which such conflict has arisen have varied, but the underlying positions remain the same. On the one hand there are those who assert the absolute right of parents to control the education of their children. On the other there are those who assert the absolute right of the State to control the education of children and to do so in a way that minimizes the differences among them. Glenn examines this tension primarily as it evolved in nineteenth-century Massachusetts, with reference to parallel developments elsewhere in the United States and in France and the Netherlands. {{LETSGETHONEST NOTES THAT HE OMITS GERMANY/PRUSSIAN MODEL, WHICH OTHER BOOKS HAVE DOCUMENTED}} He ends by reminding us that this continuing conflict over popular education raises troubling questions in a democracy. How, for example, can the pluralism we claim to value, the liberty we cherish, be reconciled with a State pedagogy designed to serve State purposes? Can government assure that each child is educated in the essentials required by the social, political, and economic order without seeking to impose uniformity? He concludes by offering workable and tested solutions to this perennial dilemma. ((Which — charter schools or homeschools, or a total voucher program?}}

Paperback, 382pp, Indexed, ISBN: 1-55815-522-8, $27.95

And another one along the same lines:

Quest for Community

I’m not visionary enough to see what would happen to our country and business as usual IN it, should this actually happen. However, I am smart enough to see what business as usual in this arena IS doing to our country. And this is not speculation in my life; I have lived the before after, differences, raised one child to get in a top university, although the first half of her life was marked by witnessing domestic violence, the second half (basically, about adolescence forward) further trauma from the California Courts, and in-fighting with a relative who determined that anything not public schooling was devilish, but assaulting a pregnant woman in the home, threatening her, including with weapons, and shutting down her profession, bank account, access to credit and transportation over several years, was NOT (this literally happened) and a minor felony-child-stealing event just to rub in who’s boss and so forth. The venom behind this fight, and the incoherent reasoning (and, when such incoherence gets confronted, resorting to other forms of threat, intimidation, and serious damage) in the mouths and on paper from those opposing an ALTERNATE to public schooling — it’s unbelievable. I would not have believed it had I not experienced it. If someone told me (as I am here), even someone I knew, I probably wouldn’t believe it, even as I probably wouldn’t have believed so much violence happened within marriages until I went through this also.

I have taught students of many types and in many venues, and worked with and talked with their parents also, both as the children’s teacher myself (in certain profession), a fellow parent (mother), or simply being a kind of outgoing person, talking to people in my communities about how they raised their kids and so forth. In addition, I read, networked, and corresponded, including a few times overseas, and compared notes. I have no Ph.D. I had a Mrs. (for what that was worth – not much!) and a M.O.M. And I have a rich databank enough to allow that there might be more than one way, and to identify several of them, to get young people up to speed. One daughter has succeeded in the top (literally) public school in the state — and this “top” designation very likely had to do with its household income base, not ethics, morality, values or much else. We had at this time increasing poverty and stress because of this fight to eradicate civil and legal rights, and it was done in the court system and with those institutions and agencies that work in concert with this system.

There is an unbelievable degree of comingling and inbreeding (I call it that! Others call it “cooperation”) between what should be neutral and separate entitities. Civic literacy is related to public education, and public education isn’t passing with flying colors on many of the basics of civic literacy (let alone civil rights!).

Yes, I realize this would transform society and affect employment. On the other hand, how bad an idea is that? Yes, I realize, this would REALLY upset too many apple carts. However, clearly we’re already upset (see Amber Alerts, which essentially are parental kidnappings (mostly), domestic violence murder/suicides, unnecessary ones, and the frivolous protection offered by protection orders.

Anyhow – – we must pay more attention to the INSTITUTIONS driving our lives, and be as critical as possible towards them.

So, anyhow, I read about this latest Amber alert and wondered WHY. I spared the blog a lot more of the philosophizing, so be thankful.

Amber Alert Canceled; Boy Returned to Family KSBW

POSTED: 9:22 am PDT August 19, 2009
UPDATED: 2:15 pm PDT August 19, 2009

PLEASANTON, Calif. — A 2-month-old Pleasanton boy who police say was abducted by his father and uncle after they attacked his mother has been found safe.

Pleasanton police said Davion Bryceon Dunn was recovered late Wednesday morning after the boy’s grandmother arranged for the alleged abductors to surrender.

Authorities said Davion was kidnapped earlier in the day by his father, 18-year-old Diamante Dunn, and his uncle, Kalandre Dunn, while riding in a car with his mother and another woman.

The boy’s mother told police that the men attacked her at a stop sign, snatched Davion and fled in another car.

Authorities issued an Amber Alert after the mother said she had a domestic violence restraining order against Dunn. Police said they considered both men dangerous.

{{Makes one wonder whether had there been on restraining order, they would’ve acted.}}

BABY DAVION RETURNED:

PLEASANTON —A man [18 yrs old] who abducted his 2-month-old son this morning has turned himself in to Antioch police, and the baby is safe, police said.

Damiante Dunn, 18, and his brother, 20-year-old Kelandre Dunn, surrendered to Antioch police at 11:20 a.m. after one of their mothers arranged for them to turn themselves in, police said.

Authorities say Damiante Dunn took the baby from a car driven by the child’s mother after assaulting her. Another woman in the car, who was trying to protect the baby, was also assaulted.

Pleasanton police say they were called about 4:50 a.m. to a neighborhood on Holland Drive and Payne Road after residents called saying a woman was crying inside (NOT DRIVING??) (NO CELL PHONES??) a car there. They found a 17-year-old woman in the car who said the baby’s father, Dunn, and his brother took the child by force. She said she and the baby, Davion Bryceon Dunn, and an adult friend had pulled up to a home in the neighborhood.

Police said Kelandre Dunn reached into the backseat of the car to take the baby and punched the mother’s friend in the face when she tried to keep the baby in his car seat. Damiante Dunn pulled the baby’s mother out of the car and sped away in a white 1988 Oldsmobile.
The mother said Damiante Dunn had been calling her Tuesday night threatening to take Davion from her if she didn’t tell him where she was.

Family and Friends of Missing Boy Pass Out Fliers in Hopes of Finding Child
Created by Kimberlee Sakamoto on 8/18/2009 6:58:00 PM

Not yet found:

OAKLAND (KRON) – The family and friends of a missing 5-year-old with cerebral palsy are continuing their search for the boy by handing out fliers in the neighborhood where he was last seen.

Hasanni Campbell’s grandmother Pamela Clark and aunt Jennifer organized the group.

On Tuesday they grabbed fliers and spread out to cover as much ground as possible.

“Oh it’s really hard. Hope keeps me alive,” said Pamela.

Some of the volunteers who never knew Hasanni say it’s important to do whatever it takes to find the boy.
Lashawenda Collins tells KRON 4’s Terisa Estacio why she felt the need to help, “I have nieces, I have a daughter. And my friends have kids also. And it could be one of us out here, looking.
The five-year-old has been missing since August 10th when his foster father, Louis Ross, left him next to a car parked outside a shoe store where Jennifer, Ross’ fiancée, works.

Oakland police and Crime Stoppers announced a reward of up to $10,000 on Monday for information leading to the whereabouts of Hasanni.

Police say they’ve received fewer than 50 tips in the case.
Stay with KRON 4 and KRON4.com for the latest developments on the search for Hasanni.

(SAME CASE):

Associated Press – August 19, 2009 8:04 PM ET

OAKLAND, Calif. (AP) – Oakland police say a tip line set up in the hopes it would help find a missing boy is operating again after numerous calls from one tipster tied up the line.

Police spokesman Jeff Thomason says the Crime Stoppers tip line is up and running after one caller left about 40 messages, none of which turned out to be credible.

The line was set up in the hopes leads would come in that would help authorities find 5-year-old Hasanni Campbell. A reward of up to $10,000 is also being offered for information.

The boy has been missing since Aug. 10 when his foster father, Louis Ross, left him in a car parked near a shoe store where his foster mother works.

Ross says Hasanni was gone when he returned.

KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI – 2009 — MOM DEAD, DAD & GIRL STILL MISSING, AMBER ALERT USELESS NOW, THEY SAY

Amber Alert Ends, Girl Still Missing

Girl’s Mother Found Dead In KC Home

POSTED: 10:59 am CST March 6, 2009
UPDATED: 9:43 am CST March 7, 2009

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Police said the father of a missing 4-year-old girl is considered a person of interest in the case.

An Amber Alert for Allison Corrales was issued Friday morning after Kansas City police found her mother dead inside an east-side apartment. Police lifted it on Saturday, but only because they said the alerts lose effectiveness after 24 hours.

Officers said they found 27-year-old Katia Lainez dead at the Sterling Court Apartments at 4023 Harvard Circle. Her 4-year-old daughter, Allison, remained missing more than 24 hours after her mother’s body was found.

Police said they want to talk to Allison’s father, Luis Corrales, 31.

“There is a restraining order against the girl’s father. And so, they’re going to want to talk to him to find out what he may know,” police Capt. Rich Lockhart said.

Relatives said the last time they saw Lainez was Wednesday night. Lainez’s sister said she was worried about what Luis Corrales would do.

Lainez was found by her brother-in-law, Orlando Melgar, who said he went to the apartment to check on her.

Lainez’s sister, Lelis Perez, said Luis Corrales showed up from Houston on Sunday night and wouldn’t leave.

“Wherever you are, return the baby,” Melgar said.

Lainez had filed an order of protection against Luis Corrales. According to court documents, Lainez said, “He told me many times that if I leave him, he will kill me.” {{Which, apparently, he did}}.

Lainez also testified that she was afraid Luis Corrales would hurt Allison.

Lainez worked at the Golden Corral in Blue Springs. The manager said Lainez was great with staff and customers. Neighbors said Allison was often seen playing near her apartment. Other children called her Allie.

“She would just be playing along with the other children. When they’d ride their bikes, she would follow along, you know,” said Marcia Sellars with Sterling Watch Group.

Perez said she’s feeling the pain of her sister’s death, and she’s worried about what happened to her niece. Perez said she’s concerned her niece is in danger.

Vehicle Missing

Investigators said the family vehicle, a red 1999 Kia Sportage with Missouri license plate PB1-R3R, is missing. Police said a car belonging to Luis Corrales was parked outside the apartment.Luis Corrales was described a 5 feet 5 inches tall, 150 pounds, with black hair and brown eyes. He reportedly has family in Houston and Manassas, Va.

Anyone with information regarding any of this is asked to call 911 or the TIPS Hotline at 816-474-8477.

More Info

Katia Lainez Court Document Page 1

Katia Lainez Court Document Page 2

Katia Lainez Court Document Page 3

Katia Lainez Court Document Page 4

Katia Lainez Court Document Page 5

Katia Lainez Court Document Page 6

“Amber Alert restraining order” googled — always seems to bring up more than what I was searching for..

4 youngsters are kidnapped, San Antonio, Texas – Michigan

Ages 13 (daughter), 9, 6 & 5 (nieces & nephews)

Kidnapping Dad was 53; guardian had just died, biological mother had CPS take them away

Authorities have cancelled an Amber Alert after four San Antonio-area children, who were abducted by a 53-year-old man, were found unharmed in Michigan.

Alphonse Harris was arrested without incident at 10:45 a.m. at a home in Pontiac, Mich., where police found his daughter, 13-year-old Briana Harris, and her cousins: Dantae Lamar Harris, 5; Kenneth Dominic Harris, 6; and Nichelle Denise Harris, 9.

According to Deputy Ino Badillo, spokesman for the Bexar County Sheriff’s Office, Harris called deputies here around 8:45 a.m. and said he wanted to surrender. But he gave authorities a fictitious address, Badillo said, so it took some time for Pontiac officials and the FBI to find him.

Harris was sitting on the front steps of the home when authorities arrived, Badillo said, and was taken into custody immediately. He was taken to the Oakland County Jail on three counts of kidnapping and two counts of assault bodily injury-family, one of which was a previous charge, Badillo said.

Harris came to San Antonio at the beginning of August after his ex-wife became seriously ill, authorities said. She became unconscious around Aug. 11 after suffering a heart attack or stroke, Badillo said.

She remained on life support at a local hospital until Sunday. Shortly after her death, Harris packed the children in a car belonging to the deceased guardian and drove north. While the group was near Killeen, the oldest child sent text messages to an aunt that relayed her fears about being held against her will. The messages stopped after her father learned she was texting, according to Badillo.

“The suspect threatened to injure her if she contacted anybody else,” the sheriff’s spokesman said.

Relatives said the children already had endured multiple hardships before the death of their guardian, Harris’ ex-wife, who divorced the suspect 13 years ago.

Three of the children were placed in temporary custody of their grandmother after Child Protective Services terminated parental rights to their 27-year-old biological mother, LaKiesha Harris. (WHY??)

Authorities and LaKiesha Harris said the suspect has a history of mental illness, including schizophrenia. Records show he has spent time in jail for assault bodily injury, violating a protective order, theft, criminal trespass and making terroristic threats.

(Let me get this: the temporary custody guardian whose care they were in, had a schizo assaultive ex? Way to go, CPS!)

Badillo said Harris will be extradited to San Antonio within 30 days, and Pontiac Child Protective Services are in contact with local authorities to reach the children’s relatives.

Massachusetts, 6 month old, suicide/murder threats from Father

Infant’s father charged after Amber Alert set off ; Allegedly vowed to kill son, self if anyone tried to take his child

Article from:

The Boston Globe (Boston, MA)

Article date:

May 2, 2008

Author:

John R. Ellement; Andrew

CAMBRIDGE – An Arlington man who triggered an Amber Alert on Wednesday had vowed to kill his 6-month-old son, shoot five people, and then kill himself if anyone tried to take away the infant, a prosecutor said in court yesterday.

The infant, identified by Arlington police as Lucas Whalen, was in the temporary custody of a relative of his mother’s, as the Department of Social Services and the courts decide who should take care of him.

The infant’s father – Michael Whalen, 42 – was arraigned yesterday in Cambridge District Court, where he pleaded not guilty to parental kidnapping, threats, and receiving stolen property over $250. He was ordered held on $25,000 cash bail by Judge Roanne Sragow.

Dad ordered to make child support payments: mother (dead) found, 4 yr old child, missing: date unknown

Amber alert issued for missing 4-year-old girl; mother’s body discovered

Kansas City Police have issued an amber alert for the 4-year-old daughter of a woman whose body was discovered this morning in her Kansas City apartment.

Police were called to the apartment at 4023 Harvard Circle about 9:15 a.m. and discovered the 27-year-old woman’s body. The apartment complex is near Interstate 70 and Sterling Avenue.

The woman’s 4-year-old daughter, Allyson Corrales, was missing.

Police also are looking for the girl’s father, Luis F. Corrales, 31, who they are describing as a person of interest.

The family’s car, a red 1999 Kia Sportage, with Missouri license plate PB1 R3R, is also missing.

Luis Corrales’ car was towed from the apartment parking lot this afternoon.

Anyone with information is asked to call the TIPS hotline at 816-474-8477.

An order of protection was filed against Luis Corrales in November, according to Jackson County court documents. At that time, he listed an Independence address.

In December, a judge ordered Corrales to make monthly child support payments.

Police Capt. Rich Lockhart said the woman’s body was discovered after her brother reported that he had not talked to her since Wednesday night.

post 1247518389

Novato, UNITED STATES (USA), Mon 13 Jul 2009, 21:21 GMT
TWENTY-SEVEN-YEAR-OLD JAMES MITCHELL IS NOW BEHIND BARS AT THE MARIN COUNTY JAIL..
HE’S CHARGED WITH KILLING HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND AND TAKING OFF WITH THEIR ONE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER…
IT’S A STORY FILLED WITH TRAGEDY AND VIOLENCE.
A STORY OF WOMAN WHO TRIED BUT FAILED TO FIND SAFETY.

NOVATO, CA
:10 GINA STAHL-RICCO / VICTIM’S FRIEND
:51 CHARLOTTE HUGGINS / VICTIM’S LAWYER
1:15 CLAUDIA STEVENS / VICTIM’S MOTHER
1:45 CAPTAIN JAMES BERG / NOVATO POLICE DEPT
CLAUDINE WANG / FOX NEWS (reporter not on cam/no tag)
————————————————————————————————————
IT WAS HERE ON DIABLO COURT… AT HER MOTHERS HOME… IN THE TOWN SHE GREW UP IN … THAT 29 YEAR OLD DANIELLE KELLER WAS TRYING TO CREATE A SAFE HOME FOR HERSELF AND HER BABY GIRL.

her baby was so sweet she was a really good mother…all about taking care of her :12

THERE WERE TEARS OF FRUSTATION ANGER AND REGRET THIS MORNING FROM FRIENDS… AS INVESTIGATORS SEARCHED FOR CLUES ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED HERE LAST NIGHT.

WHAT WE DO KNOW IS THAT A NEIGHBOR CALLED AFTER POLICEHEARING AN ASSAULT… POLICE GOT ON SCENE THREE MINUTES LATER AND FOUND DANIELLE WAS DEAD AND HER BABY GIRL GONE.

AN AMBER ALERT WAS CALLED FOR THE BABY AND THE LITTLE GIRLS FATHER 27 YEAR OLD JAMES MITCHELL.. A MAN WITH A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE.

MITCHELL ALREADY HAD ONE RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST FROM SAN FRANCISCO HIM.. AND AFTER HE FAILED TO SHOW UP FOR ANOTHER COURT APPEARANCE ON TUESDAY.. A MARIN COUNTY JUDGE ISSUED ANOTHER.

HE LIKELY GOT THAT NEWS ON SATURDAY.

AND THEN CAME SUNDAY…

we’ve been worried and we lock… and he’s using drugs.. he’s a very .. big history :10

THE SUSPECT’S.. FATHER WAS PORN KING JIM MITCHELLL… WHO HAD HIS OWN VIOLENT PAST.

THE YOUNGER MITCHELL WAS FINALLY TRACKED DOWN IN CITRUS HEIGHTS… WHERE HE WAS ARRESTED WITHOUT INCIDENT… THE BABY GIRL WAS NOT HURT AND PUT IN PROTECTIVE CUSTODY.

what we were able to.. specifically citrus heights :16

TODAY AS THE INVESTIGATION PUSHES FORWARD…FAMILY MEMBERS ARE LEFT TO MOURN THE LOSS OF A YOUNG MOTHER WHO WAS SIMPLY SEARCHING FOR SAFETY.

i think she knew she was not in a good situation from what she told me

_____________________________

COMMENT:

Sometimes parents have custody orders or restraining orders, their children are taken, and the authorities do NOT issue an Amber Alert or help retrieve. This comments on why, and may be a decent resource (not that I can afford their books!): “http://www.aardvarc.org”

How was I supposed to know? when my children were taken (violation of physical custody order — it consisted of felony child-stealing in the manner this particular one was done) and the police wouldn’t act, that I should’ve gone to court and asked the judge to order the police to act? (I already had the custody order!!). Then we got a family law attorney, a pricey-one, who got this judge, and had a captive audience, and didn’t ask for a bench warrant for the man’s arrest, but instead shunted me off to mediation !! (Where I then lost custody, having not even received an intake form, which would’ve allowed me to check “child-stealing,” although he most certainly was told of the situation — and still ignored it!)

Is it like a magic code — if you say the right words, it gets a certain result?

No, rather, there is more than meets the eye going on in this venue. However, here’s a man from Texas, and AARDVARC response:

I have a TRO (Temp Restraining order) that was issued yesterday against the mother of my child. The order states that “the court having examined the affidavit of the petitioner (me) finds that pursuant to T.F.C. sec.105.001(c) ‘Good Cause’ exisist and it is, therefore, ORDERED that: a. The clerk of this court issue an order attaching the bodies of the child of this suit and placing the child into the possession of the petitioner, and
b. Respondent is hereby excluded from the possession of or access to the child until further orders of this court.”

I have gone to the police and filed a report that I have the TRO and that my son is in imminent physical and emotional danger, yet they WILL NOT separate the child from his mother if I can find them. They stated that it is a civil matter and even if I had court orders that placed him in my custody full time, and her having no rights to our son, they would not intervene. The only recourse that I would have is to notify the court that she is in violation and then the court would take action.

{{Huh? Sounds like maybe the man didn’t serve her yet, but that’s an inappropriate response of the police!} I’m sorry for my candor but WHAT THE HELL. This woman is emotionally unstable, abusing prescription painkillers and has a history of neglect. She gets wasted on pain pills and sleeps all day while my son walks the streets and the police cant do a damn thing!?!? She has stated that she is on her way to Canada but my son called his great grandmother yesterday and said they are in Oklahoma and headding back to the area that day.

Someone PLEASE help me, what can I do to get an AMBER ALERT issued so I can get my son out of this dangerous situation? Reply or email me ASAP. I havent slept singe she “abducted” him from me on monday. I use the term losely because there are no standing custody orders. He only has the clothes on his back and she has no income but may have $650 and access to a car in my name.

First, has the order been SERVED to her? In other words, has she received notification FROM THE COURT that she’s not to have the child? Unless and until that happens, the rest is probably a moot point. Until the order is served, they’re typically not entered into the system and thus not even available for law enforcement to act upon, even if they’re standing right next to her.

Second, how police will react, once there is a valid and enforceable order, can depend on which “police” you’re talking about and exactly how the “finding” occurs. Is law enforcement going to go to her and get the child? No.

However, should you happen to find them together, and you summon the sheriff’s office (a branch that is responsible for ENFORCING orders of the court) and they have to make a call at the scene, you can pretty much count on the child going home with you. City and municipal-based law enforcement agencies, while they may be able to act on CRIMINAL orders, will typically not get involved with CIVIL orders, like this one. In court-related matters or orders, particularly of a civil nature, the sheriff’s office is the route for assistance.

((I was already dealing with a sheriff’s office. While possession is — evidently — 10/10ths of the law, I was dealing with a man I was genuinely afraid of, who used to hit and collect weapons, etc. and seemed to be escalating in the months prior to the snatch)).

Quote:

This woman is emotionally unstable, abusing prescription painkillers and has a history of neglect. She gets wasted on pain pills and sleeps all day while my son walks the streets and the police cant do a damn thing!?!?

And yet, after all this time, you’ve not pursued a formal custody case?

Are we talking about a 12 year old or a 2 year old walking the streets? Is the child of school age and attending school? That alone makes a HUGE difference. Who has made reports to CPS about the child walking the streets? How many reports have been made? What was the outcome of those investigations? Were police called when the child was “walking the streets”? Did they find and return the child or report the neglect (again, the age of the child makes a difference here)?

As Mr. K points out, failure to abide by the court’s order could result in a warrant being issued. Still, that won’t have anyone out combing the street looking for her or the child. She’ll get nabbed just like 95% of other people with warrants: either she’ll have a brake light out or commit some traffic infraction, or, some “helpful” citizen will notify a law enforcement officer that “this is where she is right now, and she’s wanted”.

Finally, even the issuing of a civil order like this one generally doesn’t meet Amber alert standards – they too will regard this as a civil custody issue. If you’ve got some actual and credible threat against the child, they might consider it, but in absence of such, I wouldn’t get my hopes up for an Amber alert. Unless there are important details you’ve neglected to mention, the burden of IMMINENT physical danger is lacking (and emotional doesn’t count). It’s not going to be treated as an abduction since you didn’t HAVE custody to begin with – you got it after the fact (ergo it’s still a civil issue).

((Well this IS something to learn a few years later, although I most certainly had custody well prior to the fact. . . . . ))

Written by Let's Get Honest|She Looks It Up

August 20, 2009 at 2:21 pm

Posted in Cast, Script, Characters, Scenery, Stage Directions, compulsory schooling, Designer Families, Domestic Violence vs Family Law, public education, Where's Mom?

Ocean County NJ — 2009, it “spiraled out of control,” 2008, “a perfect storm of DV”, but $86 mil still for “NJ Public Law & Safety” 2007-2009

with 6 comments

(More on the dangers of love and romance in New Jersey, and in faulty misplacement of trust in law enforcement, prosecution, and public safety entitites:)

This wide-ranging post comes from asking more “why?” on the Frisco/Zindell murder-suicide and a third article on the topic is enclosed, along with my usual comments, conclusions, and wide-ranging observations. WHY did the court release Frank Frisco without paying his past-due support, if this was the basis of holding him? Who has a copy of that order? Within 5 hours, he had his revenge; seems to me the authorities knew this man. Ocean County has a low homicide rate, and a major one happened like it (same result — let out, killed the girlfriend) in only January 2008. Likelihood or no likelihood, sad or not, just FYI — I haven’t heard of a witness to the killing(s), and I haven’t heard WHY he was released. Have you? If so, please comment and send a link.

Although this incident wasn’t entirely a “family court” matter — this couple had no children together — the man did.

Keep in mind also — statements are made, but what weight to give them, in context. Is there evidence? Was there a witness?

Also, seeing this, I decided to add another website page (in process), showing prior decisions in prior cases that went south. The bottom line, of course, is be strong, think smart, and stay alive. We are entirely too passive and dependent in this society, which mindset “exports” the basic aspects of life (of which self-defense and self-defense smarts) is one. When the system fails, we try to fix the system. Endlessly.

(Now THAT’s a market niche . . . . . ) Better, know thyself, know they friends, know the landscape and help each other.

BUT FIRST, A FEW SERIOUS WORDS — and this is not a help site, but I feel it’s important:

A 30 year old woman (sorry, I care less about the man that killed her… and himself) in NJ who had a real track record of success behind her, a passion to serve, smarts — but not enough of the right kind, here — and hope, a desire for a family — and her own family was down a father, recently, she also didn’t have brothers in sisters. She was working in a Department of NJ that dealt with children and families.
This young lady was smart enough to say “no” to following through with the marriage, but somehow neither she nor all the surrounding experts had “SURVIVAL” attitude to realize how severe a “SURVIVAL” situation she was in. There was SOME realization, but not enough follow-through to keep her alive.
Below is a link to US Army training manual, 1992. I just looked it up. yes, it’s about wilderness survival, but Chapters 1 & 2 count. You want to learn how to “survive”?? Learn from the principles here — because clearly all the lethality indicators, domestic violence indicators, and millions of $$ to “prevent violence against women” are not reliable to save women’s lives, and men’s and children’s. They may and I bet DO help, but are they reliable enough to stake one’s life on? Would you stake someone else’s life on them? How about children’s? In this case, speaking up and trusting someone else to handle it proved fatal! Would you stake your life on these, then? $86 million of help to NJ, or not?
I’d say, no.
I am preaching to myself also in this matter, because I am having diffficulty with “indecision” in some issues here also. I recommend, though, overall, being 150% safe if possible, and then you’re also a better person for it. PART of 150% safe is knowing one’s teammates. Ms. Zindells’ teammates loved her, cared about her, warned her, and helped, her, but did not save her. Nor did she save herself. I can’t say I would in her situation (and am probably her by the grace of God only, as well), BUT – — perhaps we can learn what NOT to do for the next 53 women, in this state alone, that have similar situations to deal with.
This isn’t even current, but it has some common sense in it. Not “expert theory.” But hey, Boy Scout motto, “Be Prepared,” right?

U.S. Army Survival Manual FM 21-76 (link)

June 1992

I attached Chapter 1 — Intro & a few excerpts. There’s a Chapter 2 – psychology, also.

S U R V I V A L

S — SIZE UP YOUR SITUATIONS

U – USE ALL YOUR SENSES – UNDUE HASTE MAKES WASTE

R – REMEMBER WHERE YOU ARE

V – VANQUISH FEAR AND PANIC

I – IMPROVISE

V – VALUE LIFE!

A – ACT LIKE THE NATIVES

L – LIVE BY YOUR WITS, BUT FOR NOW LEARN BASIC SKILLS.

(SOME EXCERPTS & COMMENTS)

S – Size Up the Situation

If you are in a combat situation, find a place where you can conceal

yourself from the enemy.

OK — this was not a domestic dispute, it had just suddenly changed to, literally, a “combat situation,” although this may not have been immediately evident. . . . . When she confronted this man and said NO, when his hopes and intensity had been so high on YES, her entire terrain immediately changed. Her teammates needed to really “see” this, but fact is, most of our society is NOT structured this way. It is structured with top-heavy government doing the dirty work (alas, alas, when they fail, each time, and back to expecting them to do it right next time). Groups who attempt to not rely on this are castigated and sometimes outcast, in various areas of government expertise (I’m thinking about schooling, among others). . . .

Remember, security takes priority. Use your senses of hearing, smell, and sight to get a feel for the battlefield. What

is the enemy doing? Advancing? Holding in place? Retreating?

{{Boy, THOSE are not terms you hear so often in domestic violence counseling or treatment, or issuing of restraining orders, right?}}

You will have to consider what is developing on the battlefield when you make

your survival plan.

Size Up Your Surroundings

Determine the pattern of the area. Get a feel for what is going on

around you. Every environment, whether forest, jungle, or desert, has

a rhythm or pattern. This rhythm or pattern includes animal and bird

noises and movements and insect sounds. It may also include enemy

traffic and civilian movements.

There is definitely a pattern to the “field” of domestic violence, expert talk about it, and prosecutor, etc. responses to it. That “pattern” is that women are still getting killed when they leave, or going homeless. Another “pattern” is that men leaving one wife need a 2nd one either to live, or to justify the first failure OR (case in point) for money, not just a warm bed or a companion. The pattern IS that there was probably more than one side to the story of why he left that bitch, the mother of his kids. . . . Right now, this issue has come up with the home my children are in. The woman there is intently sure that I’m still the culprit, but has also acknowledged that her “man” (father of our children) wasn’t what he put himself out as, and, what’s more apparently targeted her for a certain function in his life. At least, that was one conversation.

Size Up Your Physical Condition

The pressure of the battle you were in or the trauma of being in a

survival situation may have caused you to overlook wounds you received.

Check your wounds and give yourself first aid. Take care to prevent

further bodily harm. For instance, in any climate, drink plenty of water

to prevent dehydration. If you are in a cold or wet climate, put on

additional clothing to prevent hypothermia.

Size Up Your Equipment

Perhaps in the heat of battle, you lost or damaged some of your

equipment. Check to see what equipment you have and what condition

it is in.

The “equipment” of this situation, for Ms. Zindell included: restraining order, courts, prosecutors, friends (for safety) car, and so forth. The “equipment” included many things, suddenly needed, that a normal life otherwise wouldn’t need. Like — I still wonder how much warning she was given about this person’s release, and whether she actually got it and became poperly alarmed enough.

Now that you have sized up your situation, surroundings, physical condition,

and equipment, you are ready to make your survival plan. In doing

so, keep in mind your basic physical needs—water, food, and shelter.

{{Guess what: in this situation, job wasn’t a basic physical need, priority wise. She was smart, and let go of the house, but . . .. . }}

U – Use All Your Senses, Undue Haste Makes Waste

You may make a wrong move when you react quickly without thinking

or planning. That move may result in your capture or death. Don’t move

just for the sake of taking action. Consider all aspects of your situation

(size up your situation) before you make a decision and a move. If you

act in haste, you may forget or lose some of your equipment. In your

haste you may also become disoriented so that you don’t know which

way to go. Plan your moves. Be ready to move out quickly without

endangering yourself if the enemy is near you. Use all your senses

to evaluate the situation. Note sounds andtemperature changes. Be observant.

VANQUISH FEAR AND PANIC

The greatest enemies in a combat survival and evasion situation are

fear and panic. If uncontrolled, they can destroy your ability to make an

intelligent decision. They may cause you to react to your feelings and

imagination rather than to your situation. They can drain your energy

and thereby cause other negative emotions. Previous survival and

evasion training and self-confidence will enable you to vanquish fear

and panic.

{{AND THE REST YOU CAN READ ON THE SITE, OR FIND ELSEWHERE. BUT KNOW THAT IT’S FIRST AN ATTITUDE, AND SECOND TRAINING TO UNDERSTAND PRINCIPLES, AND PRACTICE THEM. THIS WOULD REQUIRE HELP.}}

A woman ending a romantic relationship of some depth — particularly if the reasons doing so relate to safety or fear- / violence — is in a changed landscape, and needs to recognize this quickly and act appropriately. Note: The institutions involved do not encourage this attitude, and it’s challenging, after the isolation of perhaps the relationship, to then understand a different way of thinking while it is ending and until the danger is past. It took me a long time to realize the difference in urgency between the groups I sought help from (their concern: funding, grants — it’s a bottom line; mine: justice, safety — its my bottom line).

Back to my regularly scheduled post. . . .

You can’t judge a rolling stone by its cover: Best to ask for ID. . . . . This dangerous, middle-aged loiterer without ID (or the mike) was picked up by two young policemen in the NJ shore area last Saturday, so they took precautionary measures:

Saturday August 15, 2009, 8:08 AM

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2009/08/bob_dylan_stopped_by_long_bran.html

“

The police officer drove up to Dylan, who was wearing a blue jacket, and asked him his name. According to Woolley, the following exchange ensued:

“What is your name, sir?” the officer asked.

“Bob Dylan,” Dylan said.

“OK, what are you doing here?” the officer asked.

“I’m on tour,” the singer replied.

A second officer, also in his 20s, responded to assist the first officer. He, too, apparently was unfamiliar with Dylan, Woolley said.

The officers asked Dylan for identification.

This incident ended without incident and, presumably the concert afterwards. The Times, they are indeed a-changin’.

A young bank robber (Ocean County) last April was caught and imprisoned, as was the girlfriend who enabled it. They were put in jail and kept there a while:

Ocean County man is sentenced for robbing bank

Ocean County man is sentenced for robbing bank while girlfriend waited with kids
by The Associated Press
Saturday April 04, 2009, 11:42 AM

An Ocean County man will spend at least the next nine years in prison for robbing a bank last year while his girlfriend waited outside with her two young children.

A state Superior Court judge in Ocean County has sentenced Jason Conway to 11 years for robbing a Bank of America branch in Brick. The 32-year-old Conway will have to serve at least 85 percent of the sentence.

Prosecutors said Conway went in to rob the bank while girlfriend Jessica Faulkenberry waited outside with her two children and a change of clothing for Conway.

Police dogs eventually tracked Conway to the apartment where the couple lived.

Faulkenberry, who is 23, was sentenced to three years in prison after she pleaded guilty to two counts of child endangerment

Which goes to show, prosecution can happen, and crime often requires some enablement, somewhere along the line.

Child sexual abusers (sometimes) are kept in prison even too long, on the basis of their danger to society:

Supreme Court to review sex offender law

The top court agrees to assess a law that lets the US government indefinitely detain sex offenders even after they have served their sentences.

By Warren Richey | Staff writer of The Christian Science Monitor

from the June 22, 2009 edition WASHINGTON – The US Supreme Court has agreed to decide the constitutionality of a law that allows the federal government to indefinitely detain a person deemed “sexually dangerous,” even after that person has finished serving a full prison sentence.

The issue arises in the case of a man who has been confined to a North Carolina federal prison for more than two years after completing his three-year sentence for receiving child pornography. The man, Graydon Earl Comstock, has no firm release date. (When it comes to child safety in particular) {{WHO WAS DISTRIBUTING IN THAT CASE?}}

The provision in question was passed as part of the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act of 2006. It authorizes the attorney general to seek the court-ordered, open-ended civil commitment of any “sexually dangerous person” already in US custody.

The measure is controversial in part because it relies on anticipation of future dangerousness to society, rather than actual or planned violations of law.

Although this is being appealed, someone decided to keep the person in jail, just as they decided to check out Bob Dylan.

However, the buff, stalking Frank Frisco with a criminal record was released, to allegedly commit murder & suicide. So much for nearly 20 years of lethality assessments from experts. 5 hours later, she were both dead, making him a murderer. He then hung himself. Was it the mental hospital time? The indignation of being arrested for a crime? The distraught rebuffed suitor? The debt? The inability to handle loss?
Who knows, but it WAS someone letting this man out of jail before that woman was truly safe.

Go figure…

Now let’s have an honest talk about expecting protection from public officials or actions, after reading this editorial (not article) on the same murder/suicide that happened 5 hours after he was released, obviously hopping mad on a few accounts: marriage cancelled, thievery being caught (he’d stolen from his fiance), public humiliation at last-minute cancellation of the marriage, probably anger at child support arrears, and being caught at THAT, plus being called on his behavior in public. He had been twice rejected (or failed) in marriage and was apparently not about to “get some” in the home front, and in short, the guy had been confronted on his behavior. I also read (elsewhere) that Ocean County employment was 6.2% last year, and 10% this year. Who knows what the terms of his divorce were? But this does not appear to be the type of guy who is going to go too long without a woman companion (judging by the overlap between EX and NEW).

[Same murder/suicide, Toms River, editorial]: Tighter Restraints Needed on Domestic Violence: app.com editorial

A police-officer friend of Letizia Zindell says she “did everything right” in abiding by the rules of the permanent restraining order she had against her ex-fiance. Each time he violated it, she called the police and he was arrested. That didn’t stop him from getting out of jail on obscenely low bail and killing her. . . .

STOP! Correction! Was it a jailbreak or was he let out on obscenely low bail? I read, he made bail and was then kept longer due to child support arrears, and then “inexplicably” — and until I see a court document or minutes of a hearing or decision, I don’t have the explanation) he was released. This required an order, and someone following an order. I also haven’t seen or heard how or when this woman was notified of his release.

Earlier last year [2008], Ocean County Prosecutor Marlene Lynch Ford vowed to change the way domestic violence cases were handled in Ocean County after a Stafford woman was stabbed to death by her ex-boyfriend two hours after he was released from jail when charges against him for a domestic violence incident were downgraded. One assistant prosecutor called the events leading up to the murder a “perfect storm of domestic violence.” Sadly, Zindell’s murder shows perfect storms aren’t rarities.

In other words — it not being their lives, their families at stake — the prosecutor reframed the truth back then, too, diverting the discussion away from system failures to the generic term “domestic violence. This does not appear to have stemmed the flow of federal funds to stop exactly this type of event (see subject line, see resources at end of this post).

The similarities in the two cases are striking. Bruce Burgess, who killed Tesha Lightsey on Jan. 8, 2008, was arrested on consecutive days for domestic violence disturbances. He was released from jail five days later, after the Prosecutor’s Office decided not to pursue an indictment on charges that he threatened her. Frisco, who was arrested repeatedly and phoned and e-mailed Zindell after his restraining order was made permanent, also was released after five days. He met bail on domestic violence charges the Friday he was arrested, but was held in jail until Wednesday because he owed more than $25,000 in back child support. Inexplicably, he was released without paying any of it.

When Lightsey was killed last year, concerns were raised that the brief jail time for domestic violence offenses was looked upon by the justice system as a “cooling off” period. In the Lightsey and Zindell cases, those five days were more likely a time of festering emotions – emotions that culminated in two deaths only hours after the attackers were released.

State Sen. Robert Singer, R-Ocean, sits on the Health, Human Services and Senior Citizens Committee. He should work with the county Prosecutor’s Office and state law enforcement groups to develop legislation aimed at better protecting victims of domestic violence from their abusers.

Zindell did everything right. It wasn’t enough to save her life. The laws need to be changed to prevent others from suffering a similar fate.

No, Zindell did not do everything right. First of all, she had everything going for her, was still relatively young (maybe not in shore culture, but she was!) and went picked the wrong man — or let him pick her. Why become involved with an older man, an ex-wife, 3 boys and debt? What was the prior history with relationships — was he the first significant one?

She lacked information to realize who this man was, and apparently didn’t run a criminal background check on the guy before he moved in. She was still young (relatively) and perhaps didn’t realize what this guy had at stake in “winning,” and like a lot of 2nd women is taken in, thinking the difficulties perhaps must have been that first “bitch” woman treated him wrong Of course I have no idea of Ms. Zindell thought this, but I’ve seen it plenty. There are vulnerabilities.

I can understand her not wanting to give up a good career and move out of state. But this ended up with loss of life (so much for job first). She possibly (been there, done that) was thinking that sending a clear message would be heard by this person. She thought the police would do the right thing, the prosecutors would do the right thing, and being probably involved in her job, wasn’t paying close attention to the statistics, the “DV” stuff that someone who’s gone through it might. I cannot say of course anything about what wa sin the mind, but the fact is, the responsibility to protect DOES lie with the individual, and one of THE most dangerous things any woman could do (or attitudes to adopt) is to think that anything less than full safety and full protection is acceptable. She did not have children by this man (which changes dynamics). She didn’t have sufficient people around her urgently enough (or trusting them if they were urgent) to know a good one from a bad one based on behaviors, or past behaviors.

Even so, Ocean County screwed up, and doesn’t seem very apologetic about it. Judge accordingly, if this is a situation of someone you care about, or yourself. Assumptions are not bliss, facts are.

Let’s read this account — there are a few points where more vigilance might have saved a life — do you know or see what they were? Do you see how the vulnerability? The following is the most complete article I’ve seen yet, giving more of her background, more details on the arrest record (although NOTHING on why he was released!), and who she packed up and was moving out.

http://beta.app.com/article/20090814/NEWS/90815005/1401/news05

. . . .

She was an only child.

She was a young superstar with a big heart, obviously, and dedicated in social service and helping others (like this dude, too).

Her father had died, after approving the marriage to this man (DAD, where was YOUR head at?)

A male friend left her alone after she packed some things to move out. DID SHE KNOW HE”D BEEN RELEASED? REALLY?

Although someone posted bail for the theft, bad checks and restraining order charges, the court ordered him held on outstanding child support of $25,870.36, officials said. The court then released him Wednesday without the payment. {{THAT”S WHAT TO INVESTIGATE!}} On Wednesday at 5:10 p.m., Zindell learned he was being released, authorities said. {{This is hearsay, at least to us. Where’s the proof?}}

That evening, she and a male friend went to her Lafayette Avenue home and she packed some of her things. They parted about 10 p.m. — ((And that was the last fatal mistake. Better to “book it” with the clothes on her back — and out of the area, FAST, NOW — then think later. #2 — if her friends knew, why was she ever left alone, especially being so popular? A woman’s life was at risk — surely someone could have taken her in, or a shelter…. )) the last time she was seen alive, police said.

Now, about that NJ $86 million for public safety and law . . . . .

WIKIPEDIA:

The New Jersey Department of Law and Public Safety is a governmental agency in the U.S. state of New Jersey that focuses on protection of the lives and property of New Jersey residents and visitors. The department operates under the supervision of the New Jersey Attorney General. The department is are responsible for safeguarding “civil and consumer rights, promoting highway traffic safety, maintaining public confidence in the alcoholic beverage, gaming and racing industries and providing legal services and counsel to other state agencies.”^[1]

^{Notice: public confidence in (several income-producing industries in NJ) and providing legal services and counsel — not to individuals, but to state agencies. Atlantic City (Southern Jersey, where this crime occurred) is a center of these industries.}

(The NJ Attorney General is an office, per wikipedia, that goes back to 1704, pre-U.S., and is too colorful to deal with here, although I note that in recent years, a Latina Attorney General, “Farber” was forced to resign over driving and traffic ticket and alleged ethical violations but in the larger context, well, she wasn’t Republican….. . .Despite the traffic record / behaviors, she sounds like an amazing person, having come from Cuba at age 16 to later become Attorney General of NJ!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zulima_Farber

NJ.Gov Offfice of Attorney General Bio

However, my interest in this department comes from the amount of federal funds it is receiving under prevention of Violence Against Women, including “formula grants” to prevent violence against women. I want to know why Frisco was given a low bail.

This department prosecutes public corruption as in (this just in Aug. 14th):

Morris County Sheriff’s Officer Pleads Guilty to Extortion for Demanding Money from Inmate for Special Treatment in Jail

TRENTON – Attorney General Anne Milgram announced that a suspended Morris County sheriff’s officer pleaded guilty today to demanding $60,000 from an inmate in the county jail in return for giving him special treatment.

According to Criminal Justice Director Deborah L. Gramiccioni, Lee C. Maimone, 43, of Mount Olive, pleaded guilty to second-degree theft by extortion before Superior Court Judge John B. Dangler in Morris County. Under the plea agreement, the state will recommend that Maimone be sentenced to five years in state prison. The state required him to forfeit his job as a sheriff’s officer and be permanently barred from public employment in New Jersey.

In pleading guilty, Maimone admitted that he demanded that an inmate in the Morris County Jail pay him $60,000 in return for favorable treatment. Maimone admitted that he offered to provide favorable testimony or information about the inmate in disciplinary matters in the jail if he was paid, but threatened to withhold such information if he did not receive the money. Maimone admitted that he accepted $2,000 as partial payment of the money from an undercover New Jersey State Police detective posing as the inmate’s girlfriend.

Maimone has been suspended without pay from his job with the Morris County Sheriff’s Office since Feb. 26, when he was charged by criminal complaint.

Maimone was charged as a result of an investigation by the New Jersey State Police Official Corruption Unit, the Division of Criminal Justice and the Morris County Prosecutor’s Office. The Morris County Sheriff’s Office assisted in the investigation.

Kind of makes you think, eh? Why wasn’t Frisco’s behind in jail? Another article I reviewed showed that WITHIN about 5 hours of his release, he had killed Ms. Zindell. Ms. Zindell was staying with “friends” however, he had been at a rehearsal dinner, and likely knew who some of her friends were. See donnasavage.com — Victim Safety Plan.

OR, announced August 5, 09 (2007 crimes)

Hillside Police Officer Pleads Guilty to Stealing Funds from Homelessness Prevention Program

TRENTON – Attorney General Anne Milgram announced that a Hillside police officer pleaded guilty today to stealing funds from the Homelessness Prevention Program administered by the state Department of Community Affairs.

According to Criminal Justice Director Deborah L. Gramiccioni, Vitor “Victor” Pedreiras, 32, of Hillside, pleaded guilty to third-degree theft by deception before Superior Court Judge Robert Billmeier in Mercer County. The charge was contained in an Aug. 14, 2007 state grand jury indictment.

Now, this was the tip of the iceberg, apparently in stealing from the “Homelessness Prevention Program (HPP) by Dept. of Community Affairs (“DCA”) — read on:

Judge Billmeier scheduled sentencing for Oct. 29. The state will recommend a sentence of 364 days in county jail as a condition of a term of probation. The judge today signed an order removing Pedreiras from his job as a police officer and permanently barring him from public employment. He had been suspended by the police department since the indictment was returned.

In pleading guilty, Pedreiras admitted that he falsely submitted – and assisted his girlfriend in falsely submitting – four fraudulent applications for grants totaling $14,963 under the Homelessness Prevention Program. Pedreiras’ girlfriend, Joana Pereira, 27, of Newark, formerly known as Joana Rodrigues, pleaded guilty on Feb. 21, 2007 to charges of third-degree theft by deception. Under their plea agreements, Pedreiras and Pereira are required to pay restitution to the Department of Community Affairs of $14,963.

Pereira, a landlord, admitted she submitted the four fraudulent HPP applications with one of her tenants, Tashime Mitchell, 35, of Irvington, who shared the proceeds with her. Three applications listed Joana Pereira as landlord and listed as tenant either Mitchell, a relative of Mitchell, or a fictitious person. The fourth listed Vitor Pedreiras as landlord and a relative of his as the tenant. Pereira is scheduled to be sentenced by Judge Billmeier on Sept. 3.

The false applications were submitted to Robin Wheeler-Hicks. Wheeler-Hicks, 50, of Elizabeth, who was formerly the DCA-Union County senior field representative who had responsibility for processing HPP cases in the county, pleaded guilty in March 2006 to stealing more than $866,000 from the Homelessness Prevention Program.

Let’s run this one by again: The “senior field representative responsible for processing these cases in the county, stole more than $866,000 from Homeless People who the program existed to serve!

She is also scheduled to be sentenced by Judge Billmeier on Sept. 3. The state will recommend that she be sentenced to seven years in state prison.

The Homelessness Prevention Program (HPP) provides grants to eligible individuals and families who, through no fault of their own, are in jeopardy of becoming homeless. It provides money to pay rent to keep a family in a current home, and provides applicants with two months rent and security deposit for a new residence if they have been forced out of their home.

Guess what — were this my state, this would refer to me. I do not feel responsible for any of the crimes committed against me, for failing to report them, and failing to avoid becoming a target of them. Nevertheless, there is this other system, called “family law” which does not fully recognize criminal behavior as criminal. A major organization and conferencer, publisher, writer, and (some of us have recently learned) co-recipient of grants to STUDY domestic violence, has itself stated, in its own “about us” history, that it wishes to de-emphasize the “old-fashioned” terminology in criminal law in favor of, well, more behavioral terminology. The systems of grants affects this.

Pause for Homespun wisdom:

Public service does indeed attract public servants, as a field. Fields of public service which entail a lot of authority over others’ lives also attract people who really LIKE a lot of authority over other people’s lives. AND, grant streams attract both public servants, who wish to help the intended recipients of those grants, AND people of criminal intent (or act least actions) who realize they can DIVERT such funds for themselves, relatives, girlfriends/boyfriends, and so forth. This goes up to judge level and attorney level, and at some point, one has to understand and accept that human nature throughout society runs the gamut from bad to good. The assumption that all in certain programs are “good” is simply naive. And all too common.

I found out about this AFCC after years of criminal behavior towards my daughters and me, and one other relative, resulting in chronic poverty from chronic employment loss, underemployment, related distresses (including PTSD, which was gone, and returned in a certain year), and returning to an “at-risk” situation I wasn’t in beforehand:

WHO IS AFCC (briefly, organization website):

What is AFCC?

AFCC is the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts – an interdisciplinary and international association of professionals dedicated to the resolution of family conflict.**

{{NOTE: THIS DOES NOT SAY “LAW” OR ENSURING JUSTICE. Though many court professionals are AFCC members, law and order are not — not even on the mission statement — of this organization. }} {{i.e., They are a self-appointed, evangelistic in nature organization on a mission to heal families. That’s fine, but that’s not what the legal process is about, which is ensuring due process and a just decision based on the facts in evidence.}}

**Quick Glossary/jargon primer: Remember last post, when (at bottom), I mentioned that the word “abuse” is a downgrading (minimization) of the word “violence” when referring to “domestic violence”??? Well the word “conflict” is a further downgrading of the same word. Even though “family conflict” {which attributes mutual responsibility} gets people killed, the truth is, People kill People, not abstract nouns! In the purpose of government and “unalienable rights” the FIRST one of them is “Life.” After that, Liberty and pursuit of happiness. So the rule is, FIRST, protect LIFE. That’s what government exists for, at least a modicum of protection of human life, both male and female, young and old.

(Seems to me Ms. Zindell fell in the cracks somewhere between first and second marriages, and a host of agencies well funded to protect her, and education public, and others, about what to do in these situations, PLUS even more agencies funded to “promote healthy marriages” (nationwide) AND another agency to collect child support on behalf of Mr. Frisco’s 3 (now fatherless) boys – – and this might be partly why.

Things just keep getting rephrased and reframed. Or, correctly phrased, and framed, but when a situation develops, the right actions — the safety actions — don’t happen. When lives are at stake, mistakes are unacceptable. Just as when housing (above) is at stake, racketeering, and stealing funds from the program to prevent homelessness by a program employee is not acceptable, either. And that time, got caught. . . . . . .

So back to AFCC (and yes, this DOES relate)…..

AFCC members are:
Judges	Lawyers
Mediators	Psychologists
Researchers	Academics
Counselors	Court Commissioners
Custody Evaluators	Parenting Coordinators
Court Administrators	Social Workers
Parent Educators	Financial Planners

[[What about “parents” ?? Are they invited/welcomed/recruited, too??]]

{{As such, these professionals, about whom many litigants are blissfully (til their decisions are handed down) unaware, are participating in an organization which has a mission to transform society and use the legal venue for behavioral science purposes. This, it has done.}}

That’s a whole lot of people dedicated to addressing family conflict. (And a whole lot of livelihoods. If this issue of family conflict were actually fixed, or drastically reduced, what would these people then do for a living?). Incidentally, the term “court commissioners” is where the child support appears to come in, at least in my state. This also seems (to me) to show a certain conflict of interest. Do you see the category “parents” in there? While many of these, naturally ARE themselves parents, one has to wonder how the parents themselves, the litigants, are going to be able to financially sustain the burden of all those professions.

The good news is, they don’t. See federal grants to states.

The bad news is, the federal government still gets its money from taxes. And when AFCC professionals faced with a divided interest between AFCC goals and US Constitution goals, they are as likely as you or I to say, what’s in it for me, where’s the money, and go with those they know better and have longer-term social and professional relationships with. In other words, it’s an ethical issue.

They push through policies without clearing it with the American public. This is an “in loco parentis” situation, and wrong.

Maybe these conflict of interest, or diversion of tax funds (by artificially prolonging court cases, and referring jobs to cohorts) is just a sporadic exception, and not really significant.

Kind of like domestic violence. I mean, abuse. I mean family conflict. I mean a domestic dispute. Like that one that erupted recently at a California toll plaza. Oops, excuse me, the 2nd article said it was a cold-blooded setup, not a hot-blooded distraught person.. . . . . . Maybe it’s not that common. . . . .

OK, CONTEXT: AFCC wishes to downgrade the use of criminal language in family conflict contexts:

The [Family Court] Review began to establish itself as a significant publication, having grown in size and scope and served as a harbinger of things to come for family courts worldwide. The September 1970 issue featured an article titled, “The Modern Family Rescue Team—Judge, Lawyer and Behavioral Scientist,” by Andrew S. Watson, M.D. (M.D., not “J.D.” !!) . . .

In that same [1970] issue, Jack Bradford and Jean Brindley, marriage counselors from the Third Judicial Circuit in Detroit, wrote about group orientation and group intake processes, a precursor to the parent education programs that would proliferate so dramatically two decades later.

In 1975, Review Editor Meyer Elkin editorialized on the language of family law:

Why do we continue to use the language of criminal law in family law? Is it primarily tradition that causes us to continue to use the old words in family law? ..We need to develop new words…Family law is entering a new period. There is now present an opportunity [sic] for introducing new practices and procedures—and words that will represent the combined expertise of both law and the behavioral sciences . . .

No thank you. The law has a form of reason in it, and procedures and safeguards. The behavioral sciences are a created industry with a humanistic view, and in the hands of people with religious zeal to transform society — well the history of religion has its own bloody footprints. No thank you. I’ll go for sound reasoning and truth, every time — factual truth. As did this prosecution team which caught a county employee for a homeless program stealing money from the homeless it was intended to serve!

. . .

who, after all, are equally concerned and have similar goals {{false!}} regarding the strengthening of the family. {{false! The law is about due process and justice, for individual torts (civil) and crimes (penal codes)}}. Let us now start the search for the words.

AFCC members and courts continued to lead the way in developing new services throughout the 1970s. In 1973, the Los Angeles Conciliation Court began a pilot program to mediate custody and visitation disputes. ((When criminal violence and life-threatening or injury-causing behavior has already occurred, it does not comprise the situation “disputes” and calling it that is a falsehood, and intentional twisting of meaning for a desired purpose)).

Back to: Hillside [NJ] Police Officer Pleads Guilty to Stealing Funds from Homelessness Prevention Program, in context of NJ Dept. of Public Law & Safety, and their $86 million to save people like Zindell and Frisco, and the others listed in my last post, state of NJ, 1998-2008, one newspaper’s accounts only, excerpts only:

Mitchell and Renita Livingston, 35, of Hillside, previously pleaded guilty to assisting Wheeler-Hicks in submitting numerous false HPP applications. Mitchell pleaded guilty to bribery and was sentenced on Nov. 3, 2006 to five years in prison. Livingston pleaded guilty to conspiracy and was sentenced on Dec. 15, 2006 to three years in prison. Mitchell was ordered to pay $29,000 in restitution, and Livingston, $10,500.

The charges resulted from an investigation by the Division of Criminal Justice and New Jersey State Police. Nine other defendants have pleaded guilty, including two former DCA employees who received probation and four corporations. All of the defendants were required to pay restitution to DCA.

HAVE they? Are the other defendants in jail? If so, why are the former DCA employees on probation and not in jail. Are the four corporations still doing business, and where can the NJ public be told who they are?

The Department of Community Affairs (DCA) alerted the Division of Criminal Justice when program officials uncovered questionable applications and transactions involving the Homelessness Prevention Program in Union County. The DCA provided administrative resources and investigative assistance to the Division of Criminal Justice and State Police throughout the investigation.

In other words, although fully 5 DCA employees were corrupt, we got lucky and the DCA self-reported this corruption. Maybe it was a few good eggs. Maybe it was enough good eggs afraid of being associated with the bad eggs. This is why I MUCH prefer the, let’s have the citizens go get accountability for programs involved in our lives — ourselves — rather than hope some appointed, funded experts are doing it. This isn’t Disneyland, and our minds shouldn’t be living there. Maybe Disney has something to do with why public minds went one way, while criminal minds, the other, I don’t know.

NJ, admittedly, has its hands full with “real” crimes, as opposed to domestic family disputes — drugs, gangs, and so forth, as was (coincidentally, same day as this article on the homeless program embezzlements) announced earlier this month:

Governor Corzine Announces Dramatic Decline in Homicides in Camden City

as Statewide Violence Reduction Initiative Nets More than 980 Arrests in 14 Months

Homicides in Camden this year down 46 percent

GOVERNOR’S STRATEGY FOR SAFE STREETS AND NEIGHBORHOODS (MAP SHOWS NJ HOMICIDES BY COUNTY)

Governor Corzine and Attorney General Milgram Announce Dramatic Decline in Homicides in New Jersey as Statewide Violence Reduction Initiative Nets More than 4,200 Arrests in 14 Months
New CrimeTrack program unveiled

Yet there was funding to help this situation coming to NJ, per the OAG website. I had some trouble with select, copy, paste, and encourage viewers to check the URL instead: I just saw several that related to violence against women, that’s all:

STOP Violence Against Women Act (VAWA)

The STOP Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) Grant Program provides the State Office of Victim-Witness Advocacy (SOVWA) a formula grant allocation under the Violence Against Women Act, authorized for funding in the 1994 Crime Bill. Federal rules allow 10% of the total VAWA award to be used to administer the grant program. The balance of the funding must be allocated as follows: 25% to law enforcement, 25% to prosecution, 30% to victims services, 15% discretionary and 5% to courts. Pursuant to new federal regulations, in 2003 the Division of Criminal Justice and SOVWA formed a statewide VAWA Advisory Committee to develop a Three-Year Implementation Plan, approved by the Office of Violence Against Women, to ensure continuation of services, opportunities for program expansions and introduction of new program

VOCA Victim Assistance Program

The Office of Victims of Crime (OVC) provides the State Office of Victim-Witness Advocacy (SOVWA) formula allocations under the Victims of Crime Act (VOCA) Victim Assistance Grant Program. SOVWA awards these funds to subgrantees who provide direct services to crime victims. VOCA guidelines allow for up to 5% of each year’s grant to be used to administer the Program. State grantees also have the option of retaining up to 1% of each year’s grant for conducting statewide and/or regional trainings for victim services staff. VOCA enumerates the types of direct services eligible for funding under this grant program. A minimum allocation of 10% must be awarded to subgrantees providing direct services to crime victims in each of the four categories: sexual assault, domestic violence, child abuse, and underserved populations as victims with disabilities, language barriers, living in isolated locations and homicide survivors (as determined by the state grantee). This allocation requirement may be waived if the state grantee can document to OVC that a category of crime victims is currently receiving a significant amount of financial assistance from the state or other funding sources, a smaller amount of financial assistance or no assistance is needed or crime rates have diminished for the particular type of crime. VOCA funds are awarded to each of the 21 County Prosecutors’ Offices of Victim-Witness Advocacy, SANE/SART programs and DCJ programs (NJ VINE, Bias Crimes, Victim Services). SOVWA also provides direct funding to non-profit victim services agencies through the competitive Notice of Availability of Funds (NOAF).

NJ Victim Assistance Grant Program

The federal Office for Victims of Crime provides the State Office of Victim Witness Advocacy (SOVWA) formula allocations under the VOCA Victim Assistance grant program. These funds are used by the SOVWA to provide direct services to crime victims. The Victims of Crime Act enumerates the kinds of services that are eligible for funding under this grant program. Funds from this program are awarded to the county offices of Victim Witness Advocacy in each of the 21 county Prosecutors’ offices. Additionally, the SOVWA also provides direct funding to victim services agencies through the competitive Notice of Availability of Funds (NOAF) process.

Were there not program initiatives to help Ms. Zindell make a healthier marital choice? I mean this is definitely a going concern:
Healthy Marriages and Promoting Responsible Fatherhood. Here are the current grantees, nationwide, under both categories (BUT- – one program#, making it a little hard to differentiate fatherhood programs from abstinence programs, from what-nots.

NJ’s only recent “current” grants — although this is only relative to the website above) Fatherhood program was:

5	New Jersey Department of Corrections	Trenton	NJ	$334,366

Maybe that might take a little consideration — are we missing something, between the Steven Stosny’s Compassion Boot Camp philosophy, as expressed through court-ordered batterer’s treatment programs run by Catholic Charities, and going into prisons to teach fatherhood, but somehow, something missed Mr. Frisco in the mix. I guess choice still exists…

I think it possibly likely that Ms. Zindell did not see herself as a victim of domestic violence, although it’s clear she took protective measures. She was living with, but not married to this man. The amount of resources by county, available in NJ, is almost stunning:

http://www.state.nj.us/dca/divisions/dow/resources/countyresourcesdv.html

However the only reference in OCEAN county is to Catholic Charities. Even so. . . . one needs the vocabulary and understanding to take action. In looking at these NJ departments, there are some for “Children and Families” and for “Human Services” but none that actually SAY “Women” on them. There is a Victim Services department. Typically, we do not exist as a gender, only as a family function, too often (I say). There are no children without women’s participation. And yet, we don’t have an identity. “Children” do. “Families” do. Interesting.

http://www.state.nj.us/nj/gov/deptserv/

Some funding that went to NJ Public Law and Safety — straight to the government, per a site “USASPENDING.GOV”

(use with caution, but it’s at least an indicator).

The bar chart represents the years this database covers: 2000 – 2009

Federal dollars: $86,760,774
Total number of recipients: 4

(actually, this is one recipient with

4 different versions of its name;

there is a common recipient ID number for this database that I used to search on).
Total number of transactions: 39

Categories of assistance (these are “program ID” numbers).

16.803	$29,754,315
16.575: Crime Victim Assistance	$19,037,000
16.738: Edward Byrne Memorial Justice Assistance Grant Program	$10,412,521
16.588: Violence Against Women Formula Grants	$9,335,840
16.540: Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention_Allocation to States	$3,176,040

Top 5 Known Congressional Districts where Recipients are Located

New Jersey 04 (Christopher H. Smith)

$85,588,583

Top 10 Recipients

New Jersey Department of Law and Public Safet	$84,274,079
State of New Jersey, Department of Law & Publ	$2,263,250
State of NJ, Dept. of Law & Public Safety	$188,445
State of New Jersey, Department of Law and Pu	$35,000

Recipient Type

Government	$86,760,774
Other	$0
Nonprofits	$0
Higher Education	$0
For Profits	$0
Individuals	$0

This is all I can handle for today. I just reviewed some of the scams caught by this agency. I still think $86 million is a lot to account for, and wonder “what happened” in this incident. However, by the time someone figures out, there will be more, and similar. Take care of those closest to you and assume nothing.

As to faith-based institutions, NJ at least caught these folks. . . . BUT — notice the fields they earned money in!

Pastors of Morris County Church to Reimburse Congregants for Misappropriated Donations

NEWARK – The pastors of a Randolph-based church who were accused of diverting congregation donations for their own personal use, including purchase of 78-foot schooner and a $1.6 million property in Mendham, have agreed to reimburse donors and immediately resign from the church’s board.

Additionally, a fiscal monitor will take control of the banking and financial accounts maintained by Church Alive, Inc., which also is known as Randolph Christian Church, Inc. The church is a non-profit corporation located at 791 Route 10 in Randolph.

Eric Simons and his wife, Marianne, who are pastor and assistant pastor of the church, and Philip DuPlessis, an assistant pastor at the church, also are barred for 10 years from serving on any financial board. DuPlessis’ wife, Sharon, is an assistant pastor at the church but she is not a respondent in this settlement.

“These church leaders asked for donations for the betterment of the congregation but in reality they misused these monies for their own personal gain,” Attorney General Anne Milgram said. “We remain vigilant in enforcing the state’s charities laws and we will continue to hold accountable those who attempt to cheat donors.”

Congregants were told their donations would be put into a Building Fund. Instead, the donations were comingled with other church funds that were solely controlled by the Simonses and DuPlessises. In addition to the schooner and property, they paid themselves “honorarium” totaling $150,000 and also spent $39,395 on “life-coaching” classes and a “life-coaching” license for Eric Simons. Simons operates a for-profit “life-coaching” business. The church itself holds the license.

<<GEE, sounds like National Fatherhood Initiative (same business!)>>

“These pastors violated the trust of donors, claiming the donations would fund a new building. Instead, by controlling the donated funds without any oversight, they spent lavishly on themselves. Donors need to be vigilant and check with our Charities Registration Unit before giving their hard-earned dollars to any charitable or non-profit group,” said David Szuchman, Consumer Affairs Director.

{{{DOES THIS ALSO APPLY TO OUR FEDERAl, STATE, COUNTY & LOCAL GOVERNMENTS GIVING TO CHARITABLE ORGANIZATIONS?}}

The church is required to appoint an official board within 30 days, under terms of the Consent Order with the state. The board is required to review the employment status of all church employees, including the Simonses and DuPlessises, as well as all financial records and report back to the Division of Consumer Affairs.

The board will determine the sales prospects for the Mendham property, which is located at 14 Kingsbrook Court. The Simonses currently reside there.

The DuPlessises are required to repay the church $125,000 and turn over title and registration to the schooner. Eric Simons and Philip DuPlessis each must repay $50,000, the honoraria which were used to purchase the schooner.

Eric Simons and Philip DuPlessis also must repay a total of $14,495 as reimbursement for “life-coaching”education. The state will be reimbursed $60,917 for its investigative and legal expenses.

Deputy Attorneys General Anna M. Lascurain, Chief, Securities Fraud Prosecution Section, and Isabella T. Stempler represented the state in this legal proceeding. Supervising investigator Larry Biondo led the investigative work.

An online directory of charitable organizations registered in New Jersey can be found atwww.state.nj.us/lps/ca/charity/chardir.htm. Consumers also can call the Charitable Registration Hotline at 973-504-6215. Religious organizations are exempt from having to register but they must comply with the state’s Charities and Non-Profit Corporation laws.

Written by Let's Get Honest|She Looks It Up

August 18, 2009 at 4:03 pm

Posted in "Til Death Do Us Part" (literally), After She Speaks Up - Reporting Domestic Violence and/or Suicide Threats, Fatal Assumptions, Lethality Indicators - in News, Split Personality Court Orders

Tagged with Bribery Extortion Fraud Racketeering-public funds, domestic violence, Frisco/Zindell (NJ 2009), murder-suicides, NJ-Toms River, retaliation for reporting, social commentary, U.S. Govt $$ hard @ work..

Toms River NJ femicide/suicide post-mortem concludes strangled DYFS worker should’ve hooked up with “agencies such as ourselves”

with 8 comments

She “did everything right,” filed a protective order and “reported every violation,” and even moved out of a home she owned, but still her death was her fault, because she (being a state employee) didn’t hook up with “agencies such as ourselves” to develop a safety plan. it wasn’t the county prosecutor’s fault because, well, sometimes domestic violence just “spirals out of control.” It wasn’t her coworkers’ faults (I don’t say that it was), because they (self-report) they were concerned and talking about intervention. it wasn’t any police officer’s fault, because bail should’ve been set higher. It wasn’t, as far as I can tell, anyone’s fault, is the general conclusion.

It is a self-defense mechanism, and entirely human, to ask “why” when something this horrific happens. It challenges a lot of theories (myths?) about the field of “domestic violence” and shakes up one’s confidence in authorities that were supposedly handling these problems so the rest of us could get about our lives.

Clearly it is in the interest of the stability of the social fabric (at least for those not IN such relationships currently, for whom stability basically doesn’t really exist outside the self-created kind) that said authorities should be interviewed, published, do press conferences and give an explanation. Then the public can accept their explanation, or ease all but the most persistent of interests, and go about their business, while the police, prosecutors, judges, and others continue to go about THEIR business of issuing protective orders that don’t protect, and releasing people with clear criminal intent and identified disrect for the law, on their own “recognizance.”

Case in point, this suicidal/murdering father was known to be a check-bouncer and significantly behind on child support. When he came up with $1,500 bail, why were no questions asked about why he could raise a bit less than that for his past-due support? He had 3 sons.

Why would not, of all places, the coworkers at DFYS where she worked, not see that this man was seeing $$ in a relationship, even though she herself may have thought this meant “love.” (or companionship).

Here’s the article, then my commentary/questions — below it. This is the 3rd article I’ve posted on the Zindell/Frisco situation in Toms River, NJ.

August 17, 2009

T oms River murder-suicide highlights domestic violence cycle

{{That’s ONE spin. I personally — from afar — think it actually highlights system failure, and inexcusable system failure, too. What about ‘evidence-based practice in this field, in NJ?}}

Victim worked for DYFS

By MARGARET F. BONAFIDE
STAFF WRITER “(APP.COM news — see link above)

The murder this week of 30-year-old Letizia “Lisa” Zindell “rattled the public” because the victim was both educated and knowledgeable in the cycle of domestic violence, said Mary Pettrow, associate director of Providence House Domestic Violence Services of Catholic Charities.

Zindell held a master’s degree in criminal justice and was about to earn her second master’s degree in social work. She worked for the state Division of Youth and Family Services.

“To think, “How can a DYFS worker be a victim of domestic violence?’ ” stunned people, Pettrow said. “There are a lot of professional women who are victims of domestic violence.”

People think domestic abuse is “just physical violence,” Pettrow said. “But often, it is much more subtle. Abusers attempt to control the important aspects of their partner’s life using intimidation or threats and other psychological and emotional tactics.

“Even if you have not been hit, the cycle of violence exists,” Pettrow continued. “There is tension, a verbal or physical assault, then contrition. It is subtle. Over a period of time, that escalates.”

That escalation took its double-deadly toll, police believe, some time after 10 p.m. Wednesday night. The man whom police believe killed Zindell, Frank Frisco Jr., had been released from jail that night about 5 p.m.

Frisco, 36, was being held on restraining order violations and child support arrears, among other fourth-degree crimes.

Zindell was discovered strangled to death Thursday afternoon in the back seat of her car, which was parked in a friend’s driveway in the Penny Layne condominium complex in the East Dover section. A short time later, police found a suicide note in her Lafayette Avenue home penned by her ex-fiance, Frisco, against whom she had a restraining order. Police found Frisco hanged to death in the detached garage.

Friends said that Frisco’s growing control issues and instability had escalated to a display of rage against Zindell in front of his and her family and friends at a party after the couple’s rehearsal dinner. The next morning, Zindell called guests to say the scheduled June 21 wedding was off.

She moved out of the home she owned, leaving him behind, and stayed with friends at the condominium complex where her body was found Thursday. She filed a restraining order against Frisco and called police every time he violated it, friends said.

He had been jailed each time and was placed as an inpatient at a local mental health facility on at least one occasion since Zindell ended the relationship hours before their scheduled June 21 wedding, authorities.

“She did everything right,” as far as restraining orders go, said Kevin Arnold, an Island Heights police officer and resident. He has known the Zindell family since she was a youth. Zindell worked with Brooke Arnold, Kevin’s wife, at DYFS.

At work, Zindell’s life was excelling. She was promoted to take Brooke Arnold’s place following Arnold’s promotion.

Prior to the breakup, Zindell’s co-workers were genuinely concerned for her.

Before Zindell called off the wedding, “We were talking about interventions,” Brooke Arnold said. “He manipulated her so she could not talk to anyone. And she is an extremely, extremely intelligent person. It makes you think if this could happen to Lisa, it could happen to anybody.”

“What is distressing is this is a typical cycle of domestic violence. . . . It just spiraled out of control,” Ocean County Prosecutor Marlene Lynch Ford said at a news conference held after the discovery of the two bodies. “The initial violations did not involve acts of tremendous violence, but consistent with what we know about domestic abuse, it often starts out with harassment that often spirals into violence, and that’s exactly what happened here.”

“She was just really well-rounded, from a good famly, and he bled her dry,” Brooke Arnold said. “Something just needs to be done about restraining orders. His bail” was too low.

“These kind of (controlling) behaviors, if not addressed, over a period of time escalate and become physical,” Pettrow said.

“Anyone who came in contact with her, loved her,” said Angela Sarantinoudis, a co-worker at DYFS. “She was personable and down to earth. She was committed to her job and clients.”

“One of the hardest things in this story, is she had the world in front of her with access to resources we deal with with clients everyday. But she was not a client,” Sarantinoudis said.

Breaking the cycle of violence without support is extremely hard, Pettrow said.

“It is necessary to link up with agencies such as ours to create safety plans to break the cycle of violence,” Pettrow said.

“This is a heart-breaking tragedy for our agency as well,” Pettrow said. “Our hearts go out to her family. Help is only a phone call away. Take steps to prevent the cycle of violence before it is spiraling out of the control.”

The Providence House Hotline is 732-244-8259 or is toll free at (800) 246-8910.

All services are free and confidential.

I would like to share my dialogue on reading the post-mortems of this account:

First of all, any sense that in Ocean County, the word isn’t out about this type of crime, should be made clear:

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CASES REPORTED BY NEW JERSEY STAR LEDGER RESULTING IN MURDER-SUICIDE FROM 1998-2008

(The Blood & Tears of Domestic Violence: A Survivor’s Revelation)(note: she has a Victim Safety plan as well, read a few paragraphs: http://www.DonnaSavage.com)

2008/06/28… Man who allegedly killed his wife at YMCA was under court restraint
The man who allegedly shot and killed his estranged wife Thursday night as she watched her son in a YMCA swim class had a court order forbidding
him from having any contact with her, law enforcement officials said yesterday.

2007/06/02 Sat   Man in murder-suicide distraught over woman PERTH AMBOY: A man who fatally shot a woman May 26 and wounded three other people before fatally turning the gun on himself was apparently distraught over his failed relationship with the woman,…

2007/01/22 Mon Attack on estranged wife is foiled — Police report a phone call saves woman from assault, fire set by her husband.   …Reza forced his wife into the basement, where he held her captive and tried to sexually assault her at knifepoint, police said. But a friend’s chance phone call and the woman’s panicked screams stopped what authorities said could have been a murder-suicide.”The way this fire was starting to move . if another couple of minutes had gone by, we would’ve been dealing with a couple people (trapped by fire) in the basement,” Police Chief Joseph Clark said yesterday. (Geographic location unclear from summary)

2007/01/08 Mon Motive for killing Ocean Gate family is unclear, police say —
…Suspected murder-suicide is Ocean County’s third in four months …motives for the killings is unclear. While one neighbor remembers hearing the husband and wife argue loudly and into the night, others described them as a happy couple. Though violent crime is a rarity in Ocean Gate, population 2,100, the deaths were the third murder-suicide in Ocean County in four months. Shellhamer, who attended the couple’s wedding, called the pair “very nice, pleasant people.” Kyle, she said, used to play in the yard with her two sons. Married last April, Peckham and…

2007/01/07 Sun   A woman, her young son and her boyfriend were found dead inside an Ocean County home
… was released from the Somerset County Jail yesterday after posting 10 percent of $10,000 bail. Couple, boy found dead in Ocean County home. A woman, her young son and her boyfriend were found dead inside an Ocean County home yesterday in an apparent murder-suicide. Jeff Eyerly, 46, was found hanged inside the East Point Pleasant Avenue home in Ocean Gate, authorities told the Asbury Park Press of Neptune for a story posted on their Web site. The bodies of Carol Ann Peckham, 41,…

2006/09/22 Fri Couple shot to death in Lacey — Case apparently a murder-suicide
… went frightfully wrong. After an argument, David Walters followed his wife into the garage and shot her in the head, authorities said. He then turned the gun on himself. Ocean County Prosecutor Thomas Kelaher called the deaths an “apparent murder-suicide.” Neither he nor Lacey Township Police Chief William Nally knew what caused the argument. David Walters did not leave a suicide note, Nally said. “Why wouldn’t he just walk away? What could be so bad that he couldn’t just walk…

2006/05/05 Fri Shock and mourning follow Middlesex murder-suicide
TOM HAYDON, SULEMAN DIN AND NAWAL QAROONI STAR-LEDGER STAFF Their romance started with a personal ad in a newspaper and quickly led to a wedding in a Las Vegas chapel. But their marriage was turbulent, neighbors and friends said, leading Donna Palladino to seek a restraining order against her 32-year-old husband, Joseph Palladino Jr. Less than 24 hours after he was served with the order, Palladino killed his 36-year-old estranged wife
early Wednesday morning, stabbing her between…

2006/05/04 Thu MURDER-SUICIDE LEAVES THREE DEAD IN AMBOYS — Woodbridge man kills estranged wife, her mom and himself
… Donna Palladino, who lived in Barnegat, had been staying with her mother in the South Amboy home since her father’s death. William Beckmann’s wake was to be held yesterday and his funeral today. Both were postponed. Yesterday’s murder-suicide came less than a day after Joseph Palladino was served with a final restraining order his wife had obtained in Ocean County. The order was the result of threats her estranged husband had made against her in telephone conversations,…

2004/03/29 Mon Violent marriage ends with murder-suicide
… STAR-LEDGER STAFF A marriage marked by domestic violence ended with a husband stabbing his wife more than two dozen times, killing her before fatally stabbing himself, Ocean County authorities said. An autopsy performed Friday, two days after the murder-suicide in Forked River, Lacey Township, showed that 37-year-old Kurt Rosenberger stabbed 33-year-old Kathleen Rosenberger 28 times, said Lt. Robert Urie, a spokesman for the Ocean County Prosecutor’s Office

2003/10/26 Sun Couple die in apparent murder-suicide — Authorities say husband shot wife, himself in the presence of toddler granddaughter
… In this story about a murder-suicide in Elizabeth, the gender of a 2-year-old child found in the house with dead grandparents was misidentified due to incorrect information provided by the Union County Prosecutor’s Office. The child was a boy, not a girl. A man with a history of domestic violence apparently shot his wife and then himself yesterday, leaving their distraught 2-year-old granddaughter trapped in their Elizabeth apartment…  ..

2000/05/16 Tue No charges for Seton guards in abduction — Police: Inaction cost precious time in case that led to murder-suicide
… yesterday they could not press charges against a security guard and his supervisor who apparently ignored pleas for help from a witness to last week’s abduction of a Seton Hall University student. The victim was later killed by her ex-boyfriend in a murder-suicide at his Westfield apartment. ‘We really don’t have a charge to file against them,” said Lt. Frank Brunelle of the Westfield Police Department, the agency leading the investigation. As Christopher Honrath, 24, forced Sohayla…

((AND SO FORTH))

NOW REGARDING TOMS RIVER 2009:

Sources of commentary (per this article):

Ocean County Prosecutor comments:
“”What is distressing is this is a typical cycle of domestic violence. . . . It just spiraled out of control,” Ocean County Prosecutor Marlene Lynch Ford said at a news conference held after the discovery of the two bodies. “The initial violations did not involve acts of tremendous violence, but consistent with what we know about domestic abuse, it often starts out with harassment that often spirals into violence, and that’s exactly what happened here.”

{{note” The initial violations did not involve acts of tremendous violence” . notice attitude. This is what i ran across in my own case, when I attempted to tell police, in an incident that I took violations of court orders seriously. I also took threats to abduct seriously. Too bad they chose not to. I have explained to a policeman in a situation that because of the background of DV (and this was a situation that frightened me and had me trapped at home in a cul de sac situation without a vehicle to escape with) I am taking this seriously. It was “blown off.” This “blowing it off” response by a single policeman in my area was taken, apparently, as a declaration of “open season” for that season, and since, culminating — let’s hope — in felony child-stealing one and a half years later, as my reports of concern about that ALSO were “blown off”, shouted down, etc.

SO, . . ..

My question, to this response:
1. Who is Prosecutor Marlene Lynch Ford, and what does her (press conference statement) exonerating any type of legal/judicial/ or law enforcement miscarriage mean by “it just spiraled out of control” refer to specifically? Because it seems to me that a man was put into a mental hospital, when incarceration (without bail) would’ve been more appropriate, given the “lethality indicators” in his case. That’s my opinion.

2. How could a prosecutor be unaware of the prior lethality indicators in this case — was it lack of training? Was she so young and just unaware that economic abuse is an indicator, and that the love of money might be a motivator? My take on the situation was that someone in the police/legal community WANTED this woman dead, because otherwise, they would’ve taken appropriate measures to make sure she was not killed. How did her stalker know where she lived, since she’d left her own home (per this article), etc.

//www.georgian.edu/georgian/2007/cent_content.aspx?id=10479

Marlene Lynch Ford ’76

In June 2007, Marlene Lynch Ford was nominated by New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine to be Ocean County Prosecutor, a position she still holds today. Prosecutor Ford graduated magna cum laude with a B.A. in History from Georgian

Court College and was the recipient of the Departmental Award for the Department of History, Economics, and Political Science. She pursued her dream of becoming a lawyer and earned her juris doctorate from Seton Hall University School of Law in 1979 {for non-locals, I believe Seton Hall is a well-known, well-respected Catholic University in NJ}.

PERSONAL QUALITY: SMART!

Prosecutor Ford practiced law in Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey, before a successful run for the General Assembly in 1983, becoming the youngest women (sic) ever elected to the New Jersey Legislature at the age of 29. She served two terms representing the 10th Legislative District in Ocean County. During her first term, she ensured {HOW? By authoring them? Pushing for their passage? Which bills?}} that more bills were signed into law than any other first-term legislator.

PERSONAL QUALITY OR CONNECTIONS: POLITICALLY SUCCESSFUL

During her second term, she chaired the Assembly Judiciary Committee {{INTERESTING!}}and sponsored over 75 bills that were signed into law, including the Domestic Violence Prevention Act of 1990 {{Note: Amazing: this is before the 1994 VAWA act was passed}} ; the Victims Rights amendment to the New Jersey Constitution; and the Ford Act, the largest tax reduction at that time in New Jersey history.

PERSONAL QUALITY: ACTIVIST, PARTICULARLY IN DV AREA

Prosecutor Ford was nominated by Governor Jim Florio to be a Superior Court judge in 1992, and she served in the family division for four years and the civil division for ten years.

PERSONAL QUALITY: Well, the Governor liked her, obviously, or got her a judgeship. Comments (i.e., speculation on my part): JUDICIAL experience in the family law division. NOT exactly (if anything like other parts of the country) a place that is tough on criminal enforcements, one might think. I would love to see how those various cases went. . .

She was honored by New Jersey Monthly Magazine in 1992 as one of New Jersey’s Heroes for her role in expanding the rights of people to fair housing and employment, regardless of their sexual orientation. In 2006, she was promoted to presiding judge of the family division. She also served as the chair of the Committee on Model Civil Jury Charges and chair of the Supreme Court Advisory Committee on Outside Activities of Judiciary Personnel. (the what??) Georgian Court University awarded her the degree of Doctor of Laws, honoris causa, for her outstanding legislative and judicial work on behalf of the citizens of New Jersey in 2006.

Summary courtesy:

Has Prosecutor Lynch Ford had a family?

COMMENT FROM: Catholic Charities Providence House Domestic Violence Services Associate Director, Mary Pettrow:

The murder this week of 30-year-old Letizia “Lisa” Zindell “rattled the public” because the victim was both educated and knowledgeable in the cycle of domestic violence, said Mary Pettrow, associate director of Providence House Domestic Violence Services of Catholic Charities.

From what I can see, Mary Pettrow is very experienced and understands the dangers of domestic violence, AND the word was out in Ocean County, among the powers that be. I searched, and found 11 categories of help through this Providence House listed in Ocean County alone! through Catholic Charities. They appear to be a press go-to resource after another DV murder. This one, in 2006 in which, of course, the neighbors and police had no idea. . ..

Neighbors, police had no indication of domestic problems
September 22, 2006

The Asbury Park Press consulted with Mary Pettrow of Providence House for an article on the murder of a Lacey Township woman. Pettrow told the Press that domestic violence is often a progressive pattern and that “warning signs are not always apparent to outside people.”

CRIMINAL DEFENSE TO DV CHARGES IN OCEAN COUNTY — A FACTOR IN THE CASE??

In my attempt to look up who that was in Lacey township in 2006, I came across this Criminal Defense firm, stating that while Northern NJ has plenty of lawyers, who’s a person accused of something to turn to in Southern (incl. Ocean County) Jersey?

(NOTE: the list of incidents above, dating back to 2000 was also found in my attempt to find out more about the 2006 this same Providence House associate director/director, had been consulted about 3 years earlier.)

Ocean County is a great place to live and practice law. The crime rate is low, especially for serious crimes. Many people that are facing criminal charges do not have the money for private attorneys. As a result, there are almost no attorneys that solely practice criminal law in Ocean County. In addition, it seems that very few attorneys who focus a majority of their practice in northern New Jersey counties venture down to the court in Toms River. Will you get an attorney that will fight for you?

At Jack Venturi & Associates, we live and practice in Ocean County. Our criminal defense attorneys are proud to bring a tough and aggressive style of practice to Toms River and Ocean County as we believe that defendants in Ocean County deserve quality representation without having to break the bank.

And here’s their assertions of how aggressively they will defend against “domestic abuse” (notice: not “domestic violence”) in this Southern NJ shore area. While it is actually domestic VIOLENCE (even in the title to this section), notice how in the text it becomes “abuse” which somehow doesn’t sound so, well, you know, ‘violent.” NOTE: this isn’t accidental. NOTE: Well-known (and well-funded) DV group out of Minnesota has a well-known “Domestic ABUSE Intervention Program”, as is a different, “Domestic Abuse Project” out of Minneapolis with a well-known author in the field (Edleson, if I”m not mistaken — which I might be). Whether this is simply in those cases because a vowell makes a better acronym than the letter “V,” or because of ain intention to downgrade the severity of the issue in the public’s minds (i.e., in their language describing it), I cannot say, in that case at least. But I am on alert for the terminology-switch, for sure. This a criminal defense attorney firm (and domestic VIOLENCE is a crime — either felony, or misdemeanor) (and it sometimes escalates up to death(s)), so when that entity chooses to downgrade the term, I notice.

New Jersey Domestic Violence Defense Attorneys

In New Jersey, a family or domestic abuse charge can be a serious offense with long-lasting and life-altering penalties. If you have been charged or are facing domestic violence charges in any court in New Jersey, you should make sure that you have the most aggressive and effective domestic violence defense lawyers on your side. At Jack Venturi & Associates, our attorneys provide criminal court and family court defense to clients in domestic abuse cases. With offices in Toms River, New Brunswick, Eatontown & Princeton, we can represent you in any court in New Jersey.

A domestic abuse charge can affect your employment, your family, and the rest of your life. You should make sure that you come to court prepared to make the most compelling defense on your behalf. Contact Jack Venturi & Associates to meet with our attorneys and start preparing your defense today.

Click here to read about the recent success that our domestic violence defense attorneys have had in New Jersey.

We understand that every case is unique; every case is different. Our attorneys will take the time to know you and your family and help prepare the best defense in your case. With our assistance you can be rest assured that you are entering court armed with attorneys who know how to present your side of the story. Our New Jersey domestic violence restrain[in]g order defense attorneys can assist you with any of the following charges:

Domestic abuse {Good grief which is it? This website is training applicants how to name it, I gather}

Harassment

Stalking

Restraining orders: temporary restraining orders and final restraining orders

Child neglect

Domestic disputes {translation: what the first press release after a murder calls it, case in point, see “California” – on my recent blog/ toll booth shooting initially was characterized in news as arising from a “domestic dispute,” i.e., she somehow provoked him while at her job in an enclosed toll booth. The next report characterized it quite the opposite.}

Child abuse

Domestic disturbance

{{NOTE: isn’t that an interesting assembly of charges that seem to come hand in hand with “domestic violence” charges? Yet in the venue of family court, they are still convening studies (and taking federal grant money, LOTS of it) to “explicate” the context of this behavior in custody determinations, even though laws exist in many states saying that batterers don’t make good parents. That’s probably WHY more research is “needed” to (reframe) the discussion.

We can also help you vacate a New jersey final restraining order or appeal a final restraining order that has been entered against you.

This criminal defense firm also mentions — right up front — things that many women are not told, fleeing DV into the arms of the local justice center, or agency. They are told to file restraining orders, and make custody arrangements, and not told what is going to happen in the family law venue (which exists primarily in part to weaken consideration of crimes as crimes, I say), nor will they be reminded THIS:

Constitutional Protections for the Criminal Defendant

The United States Constitution and its subsequent amendments define the scope of governmental power and reserve certain individual rights to the people. The first 10 amendments, also called the Bill of Rights, contain basic, fundamental rights of individuals on which the government may not impinge. Many of these constitutional rights provide protection to criminal defendants in the criminal justice system. The Fourteenth Amendment extends substantive due process rights beyond just the federal system to criminal defendants in state courts where the vast majority of criminal trials occur.

The basic constitutional rights of the criminal defendant permeate every aspect of the criminal justice process. If you have been accused of a crime, whether federal, state or local, a seasoned criminal defense attorney can explain these rights to you and help you to fight for them at every step of the way.

The stage at which a woman with children is likely to be remembering these above privileges (and thank God for them) is likely to be after a custody-switch in the family law venue which violated this due process. However, the person opposing the charges is not so likely to be unaware of these rights.

I know this is quite a bit astray from the Toms River case, except my question is, after a murder in 2006, same thing, same Providence House director quoting the same truths about the domestic violence cycle, how come someone died THEN? (And who?) and what policy changed, if any, after that?

Per zoominfo: Indicator the Probation Dept. might have been aware:

The Probation Association of New Jersey, Local 106 – [Cached Version]

Published on: 6/8/2001 Last Visited: 2/2/2002

Contact: Mary Pettrow, CSW, Program DirectorProvidence House, a Program of Catholic CharitiesPO Box 104Toms River, NJ 08754732-244-6257

…
We were very fortunate to have representatives from the Probation Association of New Jersey volunteer their time to assist us with projects to maintain the clean and home-like appearance of the facility” stated Mary Pettrow, Director of Program Services for Providence House.If you are a victim of domestic violence, call the Providence House 24 hour hotline — 732-244-8259 or, in the 609 area, (800) 246-8910.If you are interested in volunteering, call 732-244-6257.

Looking for volunteers for domestic violence response teams
September 23, 3008

September 23, 2008 Whiting, NJ– Providence House Domestic Violence Services of Catholic Charities, and local police departments are seeking volunteers to assist victims of domestic abuse. These volunteers must reside in the following municipalities: Toms River, Seaside Heights, Seaside Park, Lavallette, Island Heights and Lakewood. Volunteers would be part of the Domestic Violence Response Teams (DVRT) located throughout Ocean County. DVRT volunteers meet with victims at the police station following a reported incident and provide supportive listening, options and referrals to help those affected by domestic violence. Volunteers are required to attend 40 hours of training over a period of 10 weeks. Ten of those hours will be spent observing cases heard in Superior and Municipal Courts. All prospective volunteers must undergo a background check and interview process, and must be at least 18 years of age, have a valid NJ drivers license, and available transportation. Interested individuals may contact Donald Horbelt, DVRT Specialist, at 732-350-2120 by November 7, 2008 for more information.

http://www.catholiccharitiestrenton.org/news_arch.php?PHPSESSID=a3e29bff11ce388b63df4f67a63387fd

Several articles here refer to Providence House, including that Prosecutor Lynch-Ford might have known about it, as well as police chiefs, mayors, Ocean County Freeholders, and others. So “what gives” that Ms. Zindell didn’t get to their doors yet, or feel she needed to?

Providence House thanks awareness month supporters
November 14, 2007

On behalf of Providence House Domestic Violence Services of Catholic Charities we wanted to share with you how grateful we are for the community support that was shown during October, which was Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Specifically, on Thursday, October 25, 2007 staff, clients, and community members celebrated the journey from “victim” to “survivor” of domestic abuse. The day began at the Providence House Outreach office located on Schoolhouse Road in Whiting with a flag raising ceremony on the newly installed flagpole given to Providence House by Manchester Township. PHOTO: Mayor Michael Fressola, Mary Pettrow, Associate Director of Providence House, Police Chief William Brase, and Councilman Kenneth Vanderziel joined to raise the flag to start off the day’s events (see photo, below). The Catholic Charities outreach building has also become a satellite location of the Manchester Police Department – a partnership that will greatly benefit the community and those affected by domestic abuse in Manchester Township.

The staff of Providence House then transitioned into preparations for the thirteenth annual Celebration of Survivors event held that night from 7:00 pm to 8:30 pm at Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton Church in Whiting. This annual commemoration honors all those affected by domestic violence, from clients who have worked so hard to transition from the role of victim to becoming a survivor to those who have lost their lives at the hands of someone who claimed to love them. At the beginning of the ceremony, Ms. Madelin Einbinder, representing Ocean County Prosecutor Marlene Lynch-Ford conducted the opening candle lighting. Many of the clients participated in this event either by speaking; writing a poem, or taking part in making affirmations about the positive steps they have taken in their lives. Clients of Providence House created a beautiful quilt depicting the various phases of domestic abuse and the journey to becoming a survivor, which was on display that night. The Ocean County Freeholders and the Township of Manchester gave Proclamations declaring October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

Every year at this event awards are given to particular groups or individuals that have generously supported Providence House throughout the years. This year three honorees were awarded this accolade: Dr. Peter Lewis for choosing Providence House to be an ongoing beneficiary of the “Smiles for Life” program; Verizon Wireless for its cellular phone donation program, sponsorship of the Providence House gift auction, and provision of trainings to clients on job seeking skills; and the Zonta Club of Ocean County for being actively involved in addressing violence against the elderly through the creation of the Elder Abuse Task Force. The audience was deeply moved by all of the components of this special program.

In closing, another very important occurrence during Domestic Violence Awareness Month for which the staff of Providence House was extremely grateful was the recent grant of $80,500.00 from the Ocean County Board of Chosen Freeholders. This contribution will continue to make it possible for victims of domestic abuse and their children to receive free, confidential, and professional services through the various Providence House programs. Please let your readers know that if you or someone you know needs assistance or would like to learn more about domestic abuse, please contact the 24-hour hotline at 732.244.8259 or 1.800.246.8910.

There is also a significant article on this same web page about a parallel (??) treatment program for men, dating to 2008, Feb.

I remember a certain close to Valentine’s Day long ago, a severe and escalating incident involving guns (and a close call) was defused. The next day, or soon after, I attempted to discuss this in the religious, joint-counseling we had been recommended to (and did) attend. BIG . . .. BIG . . .. mistake. They didn’t want me to bring this up, so I shut up. I was asked (in a show of grandiose, after the incident, and public, pretense – – absent any repentance or apology or acknowledgement for how this incident had affected me, including from those counseling — to go attended a couples Sweetheart dinner and dance at the same church. I was still in shock, and went, and entering into the ladies’ room, recognizing someone I knew whose husband knew of the incident, I collapsed. The ladies room of this church was apparently a safer place (to me, emotionally), than the pastor’s office in the exact same hallway. After speaking my piece to a woman, I wiped up off my face, straightened up, and went out to the event. I have a photo from it; and look frozen. I don’t see that its import registered — at all — with anyone employed by the church.

So, here is an article around Valentine’s Day written from the perspective of a man counseling men who have been court-ordered into treatment for Violence against, presumably, their intimate partners From the same organization and page as the Providence House one:

From Violence to Compassion
February 14, 2008

Valentine’s Day is here – the time for expressing affection with loved ones. It seems improbable that the people we love can sometimes be the people whose hearts and bodies we hurt. Yet we know domestic violence is a reality, even on Valentine’s Day, necessitating shelters and services to protect women and children. If we really want to protect women and children we must also reach the men committing these offenses. Through court mandates, some men who have abused their partners and children enter our treatment program. Our goal is that they take responsibility for their actions so that the intergenerational cycle of abuse is stopped.When I started this work 25 years ago, we had a plan. Confront them. Lecture them about male privilege. Change their social beliefs to accept women as equals.

{{read on: sounds like the men coming through the program helped talk them into abandoning said plan, including accepting women as equals….}}

Trouble was, as seen through the rear view mirror of time, we were replicating the power tactics we wanted them to stop. We had the “truth”, and I was going to force it on them.

{{LET’s GET HONEST, anecdotal commentary: When I brought this up to individuals in my own case, the exact truth, and have continued bringing it, up, I found no such audience or understanding. This is in fact the general attitude I have noticed in the family law venue, and (generally speaking) in other venues in which “experts” tell those who have actually “experienced” violence and near-death or other trauma (ongoing, often enough), how to view their own experiences — namely, to minimize them. This is in effect telling people NOT to trust their gut and NOT to trust their own assessments of things that they actually have gone through assessing and taking legal action on. As such, it’s condescending, and yes, we do (whether male or female) pick up on the condescension AND the power tactics. One reason we understand this is that domestic violence IS a power tactic. The violence part is about power, punishment, and refusal to take orders, particularly from a woman (inferior in the relationship. Again, and unfortunately, too many “faith institutions” echo the same dynamics, including Catholics, Catholic Charities and other large institutions of various sorts.}}

We got compliance, significantly less capital “V” violence, the violence that is against the law. But when you looked closer at the picture, we saw more small “v” violence, the emotional and verbal abuse often goes under the radar of law enforcement but is equally damaging to its victims.

The prevailing sentiment is these men are monsters with no feeling who deny, minimize, or take no responsibility for their actions. {{Welll, as to all but the first part — which I can’t speak for, not being inside the other person’s head, I CAN speak for the other parts: deny, minimize and take no responsibility for their actions: Yes. This is true. }} My 25 years in the trenches have allowed me to learn from these men who abuse the same lesson I learned from the victims of abuse. They taught me that if humanity and compassion are goals, therapists must create an atmosphere of emotional safety in order to address the hidden shame and hurt that the men so fear. Frequently, men hide their perceived wounds behind a controlling and domineering veneer. We call these wounds “core hurts”, a term coined by Dr. Steven Stosny** in his work with men who have abused. These wounds usually originate in childhood and lead a man to believe he is unlovable, powerless, rejected, and unworthy of earning trust. The “core hurts”, hidden with accompanying shame, are actually mistaken beliefs about himself. Men who have abused hide this pain and shame from themselves and from others with a “mask”. They use the mask that many men use, but include physical and emotional violence. This mask ranges from the grandiose exuberance of exaggerated manhood to the “strong, silent type”. But behind the mask are men who use power, status, achievement, etc, to prove that they are better than others. Men notch their belts with money, cars, conquests of women, and athletic accomplishments, as demonstrations of superiority, of their definition of “manhood”. Power and winning are used in place of compassion in their relationships. Power may get compliance, but deep inside, these men know that they remain feeling unlovable. They try to manipulate “love” out of others, but they feel unlovable on the inside. When someone does express love to them, they cannot accept it because they do not feel lovable at their core. No amount of love from others will make someone who feels unlovable believe that they are worthy of love. They must do that work on themselves.

The men I have worked with have taught me that, given a welcoming sanctuary of emotional safety, inclusion, and acceptance, they have the courage to go behind the mask that hides their shame to heal their “core hurts’. An interesting thing happens as they expose these wounds and deal with the feelings of unlovablity, powerlessness, etc they were covering up. Their internal beliefs, beliefs about themselves, change. They discover their own lovability and internal power to regulate their own emotions (as opposed to their external power over others.). In the beginning of this compassion for self, they start feeling better about themselves, more worthy of love. And how does a person worthy of love treat others? Many of these men have found that they treat their partners, their children, and their co-workers with more compassion. They realize that both the capital “V” violence and the small “v” violence hurt their loved ones’ ability to trust, love, and connect. The men who do this work can hear and understand the hurt they caused others, and start to make amends.

For the men who dig in and work on themselves, their work does not stop when the treatment ends. About half the men who complete the program volunteer to come back to our “Passing It On” night where they help new group members have the courage to look inside themselves. When the men look behind this mask, the false manhood, the addictions, the aggressions, even the passive withdrawal into stonewalling, they see that they have discarded their own humanity. When the men do the work, one of the most common phrases we hear is “I got myself back”. “Myself” has been there the whole time waiting to be discovered. None of this means that these men should not be held accountable for their actions; they are totally responsible for their behavior no matter what the other person does. However, once inside treatment programs, if we want their humanity to re-emerge, we follow what these men have taught us: Create a safe place where shameful hurts can heal, and the humanity and compassion in the human spirit grows. We have seen men who have the courage to do this work change their definition of manhood to include expressions of sadness, allowance of fear, inadequacy, and imperfection. Compassion becomes a practice and self-responsibility becomes a discipline. The men start connecting with others with more humanity, more humility, and more acceptance.

Protecting women by providing shelters and supportive services is essential. So is holding the men accountable through the legal system. Most men do not come unless there are external forces. At the same time, creating a safe place for men to heal the shame and pain behind their violence will further this effort.

David J. Thomas, LCSW, LMFT, DVS
Program Supervisor, Family Growth Program of Catholic Charities, Trenton
Thomas has worked at Catholic Charities with family violence since 1977

Which brings me to the point of Healthy Marriage and Responsible Fatherhood recipients in NJ. I thought, SURELY, the reason Ms. Zindell had to die was New Jersey somehow had missed the boat on udnerstanding that DV can be lethal, and they were also short of teaching “healthy marriages.” But here is someone out of Trenton, who is a devotee (apparently) of Dr. Sosny, who teaches, for a fee of course a Boot camp for Smart Marriage attendees.

Dr. Stosny is offering his celebrated Boot Camp training exclusively for
Smart Marriages attendees. Participants will learn invaluable skills in
emotional regulation and dealing with chronic resentment, anger, or
emotional abuse. You are free to use the any of the materials and skills you
learn merely by attending the training. You will also have the opportunity
to become a CompassionPower associate and to use Dr. Stosny’s name, trademarks,
and website for marketing, for a small annual fee. This fee is usually $250, but for Smart Marriages
institute graduates, the fee is only $100 a year.

The CompassionPower Boot Camp consists of 3 sessions of 8 hours each. Love
without Hurt consists of 4 intensive, two-hour sessions, with 22 pages of
homework assignments.

If you do any kind of family education or intervention, you will certainly
encounter hidden emotional abuse and violence against spouses
and children. In some couples you’ll notice harshness and hostility,
but in many you will not – abusers can be charming and affable in public.
Most abuse occurs in private when a loved one, purposely or inadvertently
triggers the abuser’s sense of failure or inadequacy – as parent, spouse,
lover, or provider. This causes a sudden drop in self-value, which makes
them feel powerless and unable to see anyone else’s perspective.

{{i.e., it wasn’t “the devil made me do it” or “she made me do it” but “my drop in self-value made me do it.”

((While there’s I bet truth to the fact that this aggression IS a reaction to the sense of lowered self-worth — I mean what kind of man with a sense of self-respect would go assault (or kill, or beat up on) his wife or girlfriend? SO WHAT? Why cannot we not talk about simply the self-respect that goes with understanding what laws are, and the civic duty to comply with them? I have been through unbelievable situations without violating laws against abuse, stalking, visitation interference, child-stealing or anything of that sort. In consequence for this level of self-restraint, and after appealing to the justice system(s) for justice, the police for enforcement, the child support system for enforcement, and the courts for protection orders, I have totally lost my sense of safety in my own neighborhoods, all expectation that child support arrears of any sort are going to come in, and with zero assistance as to either protection, victim compensation funding (although a crime was committed and income was lost — ALL income, as a matter of fact) because of this crime and no other identifiable reasons, I have gone to zero again. this was AFTEr all the years of violence in the home. So, I have little sympathy for organizations or programs where men, after wounding women physically and in other categories, can get an ear for licking their wounds and wounded egos in front of a ready ear. Did SHE get this mercy somehow? Did she get it from the men in question that had to be ordered into treatment to start with?. What kind of racket and set of alliances is this, anyhow?))

Aggressive impulses occur automatically when people feel powerless,
but unlike most of us, abusers act out the aggression. The power-and-control
tactics for which they are known are merely attempts to keep family
members from doing something that might make them face their failure
or inadequacy as parents, spouses, lovers, or providers. That’s why
research shows that efforts to change behavior without empowering
abusers fail.

Both the Compassion Power Boot Camp and the Self Regulation:
Love Without Hurt add-on program feature Stosny’s empowering concept of innate
Core Value, the unique human drive to create value and maintain an inner
store of intimate, aesthetic, spiritual, moral, compassionate, and protective
experiences. The centerpiece of the program is HEALS, which is used to
treat resentment, anger, and violence. HEALS automatically raises self value
during the sudden drops that lead to abuse, by conditioning Core Value to
occur with the first signs of resentment, anger, or anxiety. The experience of
Core Value makes it possible to see other perspectives and be compassionate
to loved ones.

(Where government programs meet market niches; we’re in it.)

Searching on David J Thomas (above’s) program area, Family Growth Services, it would appear that although there’s a high overlap with the department Ms. Zindell worked in, somehow a connection was made. Perhaps, because she wasn’t yet a “family”? Here:

Community and Population Served by the Organization

The Children and Family Service Division serves more than 500 abused and neglected children annually and attempts to also bring their families under the wing of its services. Its programs operate in Mercer, Burlington, Monmouth, and Ocean counties. Division programs are made possible by an extensive network of more than 700 employees and 400 volunteers. Many clients are referred to Catholic Charities from the corrections system or from the state Division of Youth and Family Services. ..Family Growth helps abusive families change violent patterns of interaction so that children can remain safely in their own home and rebuild their basic trust.

<><><><><><><><><><><>

Well, that’s it for this (now long) post, for now!

Written by Let's Get Honest|She Looks It Up

August 17, 2009 at 8:24 pm

Posted in "Til Death Do Us Part" (literally), After She Speaks Up - Reporting Domestic Violence and/or Suicide Threats, Fatal Assumptions, Lethality Indicators - in News

Tagged with domestic violence, Intimate partner violence, murder-suicides, retaliation for reporting, social commentary, U.S. Govt $$ hard @ work..

Words fail me on this incident. . .. did the police/judge WANT another headline?

leave a comment »

(1) and (2) were California and Pennsylvania, respectively.

(3) NEW JERSEY,

ARTICLE 1:

Cops probe (Jersey) Shore murder-suicide

Friday, August 14, 2009

STAR-LEDGER STAFF

THE LEADING BLEEDING HEADLINE:

A family friend hoping to borrow cleaning supplies from Zindell discovered her body in the back seat of her 2005 Acura around 2:30 p.m., Toms River Police Chief Michael Mastronardy said.

The chief was not sure how Zindell was killed and that remained unknown as of last night, pending an autopsy by the Ocean County Medical Examiner’s Office.

After Zindell’s friend informed police of her grim discovery, authorities began a frantic search for Frisco, said Mastronardy. Police discovered his body around 4 p.m. (WHERE?)

THE BACKGROUND, possibly acc. to police report:

The couple apparently broke off their wedding plans two months ago, sparking a series of events that saw Zindell file a restraining order against her ex-beau and caused police to force Frisco to check in to a mental facility, Mastronardy said.

Mastronardy being the Police Chief, and this account being his explanation of why the man went to a mental facility and not a lockup. If there is some procedural rule regarding this, it seems to me this would be in the account. I could find on-line an account 15 years old (Duluthcenter related) where this happened, and the woman was killed.

If you had been looking at domestic violence training and “technical assistance” funding like I have been, you’d be highly irritated that these things still happen. If the training isn’t getting the job done, then let’s have a new policy. WITH each and every restraining order — that is, assuming we DO care about whether or not people get killed afterwards, possibly — or have to live in fear of this — or live without fear of this and then are shot (etc.) anyhow — simply have an intense self-defense awareness and protection course RIGHT AWAY. She gets SOME defensive weapon, not a gun, and training in its use AND is sternly warned to be alert of her environment and careful. Or, leave the area.

Zindell and Frisco had been romantically involved for two years, according to police.

Missing piece of information: How long between prior wife and their romantic involvement and plans to marry? ALSO, did his ex-wife have custody of the two children, or him? Either way, did he NEED this woman to manage to get the kids, or to raise them if he had them? What was this man’s motivation for re-marrying? What was hers for marrying him?

Don’t tell me “marriage education” is the solution. These people were young (my perspective) adults of full age.

Over the past three weeks, police had responded to several calls from Zindell, who alleged her ex-fiance was constantly harassing her and violating a restraining order she had obtained against him in June, when the pair severed their engagement.

Frisco, who has an ex-wife and two children, had been jailed on charges of domestic violence and violation of the restraining order until late Wednesday afternoon, Mastronardy said.

From WHEN until late Wednesday afternoon? That doesn’t add up even mathematically. What should readers do, go look for a different account?

Police immediately notified Zindell of Frisco’s release, the chief said.

Zindell told police Frisco had contacted her several times in the last two weeks, Mastronardy said. He first threatened her, on July 30, with a lawsuit regarding the property they once shared in the 500 block of Lafayette Avenue and sent her several e-mails, according to Mastronardy, who did not know the exact nature of the lawsuit.

{{I’m sure it has some relevance to his feelings –whose was it? As they weren’t yet married, I’d speculate it was either his, or hers.}}

On Aug. 2 and Aug. 6, Frisco continually tried to get in touch with his former fiancÃ©e, Mastronardy said. He contacted her by e-mail 24 times on Aug. 2 and proceeded to send her a bouquet of flowers on Aug. 6 while she was at work. Both actions were considered a violation of the restraining order.

THREATS THEN FLOWERS . . . .

Following those incidents, police forced Frisco to spend a week at a local mental facility. At the end of his stay, he was jailed on an outstanding warrant from the domestic violence charge before being released Wednesday.

James Queally may be reached at (973) 392-4136 or jqueally@starledger.com

ARTICLE 2:

Two found dead in South Jersey murder-suicide

GANNETT NEW JERSEY • AUGUST 14, 2009

TOMS RIVER — A 30-year-old township woman was found dead in a locked car Thursday afternoon, and her 36-year-old ex-fiance was discovered hanging in the detached garage loft of their Toms River home less than an hour later, in what Ocean County prosecutors say is a murder-suicide.

The body of Letizia Zindell, who had recently moved to the Penny Layne neighborhood, was discovered on King George Layne at about 3:15 p.m., authorities said. A friend coming to visit her discovered Zindell’s body in the car. Shortly after 4 p.m., Frank Frisco was found hanging in the garage of their home on Lafayette Avenue, authorities said.

The two had been engaged and living together in the Lafayette Avenue home, which is registered to Zindell as the owner. But the wedding was called off and the relationship ended about two months ago, authorities said.

According to online wedding registry sites, the couple was registered at Macy’s and Crate & Barrel and had planned to marry June 21.

“We suspect another chapter in domestic violence history of our state,” Ocean County Prosecutor Marlene Lynch Ford said at a news conference held at Toms River police headquarters early Thursday evening.

After police found Zindell’s body in her car, they began searching for Frisco as a “person of interest,” wanting to question him in her death, Ford said.

“Based on our investigation, this appears to be another unfortunate murder-suicide,” Ford said. “Police are piecing together the story of this couple that had such a tragic conclusion.”

Restraining Orders (AND CHILD SUPPORT CHECKS….)

Zindell, who worked for the state Division of Youth and Family Services, secured a temporary restraining order against Frisco on July 9, after he gained access to some of her accounts and stole $770 from her, authorities said. A permanent restraining order was issued on July 21 after Frisco failed to show at his court date, Ford said. One of the conditions was that Frisco repay the money, according to authorities.

Frisco apparently had money problems. He wrote two bad child-support checks this year — one on Jan. 23 and one on June 17 — township Police Chief Michael Mastronardy said. The amounts of the checks were not immediately known.

Frisco was divorced, had three {{3? 2?}} children and was self-employed at a business based in Cherry Hill, though what he did for a living was not known, authorities said.

The restraining order also prohibited Frisco from having any contact with Zindell. Frisco was arrested by sheriff’s deputies Friday for repeatedly calling and e-mailing his ex-fiancee, Ford said. The arrest came after Frisco was discharged from an unnamed hospital, authorities said. He posted $1,500 bail Wednesday at about 5:10 p.m and was released from Ocean County Jail in Toms River, Ford said.

“What is distressing is this is a typical cycle of domestic violence — it just spiraled out of control,” Ford said. “The initial violations did not involve acts of tremendous violence, but consistent with what we know about domestic abuse, it often starts out with harassment that often spirals into violence, and that’s exactly what happened here.”

IN OTHER WORDS, MS. LYNCH FORD OF OCEAN COUNTY HAS BEEN UP SOME BACKWATER FOR HOW LONG? AND HAD NOT READ ANY OF THE LETHALITY ASSESSMENTS GOING BACK TO 1985 UP TO NOW, HAS NOT BEEN AWARE OF ONGOING NEWSPAPER HEADLINES ABOUT THIS TOPIC, YEAR AFTER YEAR, AND HAS NOT SAT UNDER ANY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE TRAINING BY ANYONE. ALTHOUGH SHE’S A PROSECUTOR. AND YET (TO SUMMARIZE IT FOR THE PRESS) IT’S ACKNOWLEDGE — THEY KNOW IT SPIRALS UP FROM HARASSMENT INTO VIOLENCE, AND YET — AND YET — HE WAS GIVEN BAIL, AND POSTED IT, RATHER THAN THE FIRST VIOLATIONS (AND THIS CONSTITUTED CLEAR STALKING, PLUS THEFT, PLUS DANGERS SIGNS UP THE – – – – – CREEK — AND RELEASED.)

UNDER WHICH JUDGE? UNDER WHAT NJ LAWS?

Details Withheld

Zindell’s body was discovered in the back seat of a locked, gray, Acura TL sedan, which police removed from the neighborhood shortly after 5 p.m. with the body apparently still inside. Investigators left the neighborhood shortly thereafter.

Ford would not say whether Zindell was killed in the car, or if her body was moved there after her death. Authorities also would not say if any weapons were recovered, or if marks or signs of trauma were found on Zindell. An autopsy is scheduled for today.

King George Layne is located in the well-manicured Penny Layne complex of condominiums with cream vinyl siding and faux brick exteriors behind the Ocean County Mall on Hooper Avenue. In interviews, Zindell’s neighbors said everyone there kept very private lives and few people knew the young woman.

{{the hazards of a well to do or upper middle class lifestyle — neighbors don’t protect.}}

Felipe Jorge, 19, a lifeguard at the pool in the complex, said he heard Zindell come out of her condominium at about 2:10 p.m. Thursday screaming, “I can’t believe you did this to me.”

{{Ms. Zindell, working for the state and having had a repeatedly violated restraining order, stalking, and etc., didn’t alert the lifeguards or others of her concerns, but tried to engage somehow when he showed up? well, those details may come out later…}}

He said police told him Zindell was found with something stuffed in her mouth. Authorities would not confirm that she was gagged.

Police are now trying to piece together what took place in the hours between Frisco’s release from jail and Zindell’s death.

Toms River Police Capt. Michael Dorrick is leading the investigation, assisted by members of the Ocean County Prosecutor’s Office and the county sheriff’s Criminalistics Investigative Unit.

Police are asking anyone with information to contact police at 732-349-0150.

Why don’t they instead try to piece together what was going on between the ears of the people who: 1. didn’t hold him in longer 2. did mental hospital instead of jail 3. allowed bail in such a situation 4. and anything so related. I am sorry, but how many more decades is this going to be the post-mortem “oh-well…. it just escalated, sometimes that happens?”

ARTICLE 3: ENTER THE MONEY MOTIVE AND CHILD SUPPORT ARREARS

Man at center of murder-suicide had years of money problems

BY MATTHEW MCGRATH • TOMS RIVER BUREAU • AUGUST 14, 2009

The muscle-bound man accused of throttling his ex-fiancee before hanging himself Thursday had a several-year history of money problems.

Frank Frisco Jr. was scheduled to appear in Superior Court in Toms River today for a hearing on his divorce from another woman, court officials confirmed.

Frisco, 36, of Lafayette Avenue, was having trouble paying his $500-per-week child support to his ex-wife, Melissa Acito, 35, of Beachwood. The couple had three young boys.

{{TO ME, THIS SEEMS HIGH, BUT I DON’T KNOW THE SITUATION. This man did not appear to lack health and vigor at the time}}

Frisco wrote two bad checks for child support this year, township police Chief Michael J. Mastronardy said. The first was for $5,000 on Jan. 23 and the second was for $30,881 on May 21. A civil complaint was filed with the Toms River police on June 17, Mastronardy said.

The loving father, involved with a new woman (and living with her) was fully $35,881 in arrears on his child support. Hmmm

Frisco was recently fired from his job, Mastronardy said. (but he was self-employed — ??)

Acito said she did not want to comment about her late ex-husband.

————-

I am going to post next on recommendations dating back to about 1990. I have not got the stomach to find out why this particular prosecutor could make such a statement as “it just spiraled out of control” when it already WAS when the man was allowed to post bail, and go kill his wife (and then himself).

Written by Let's Get Honest|She Looks It Up

August 16, 2009 at 12:32 pm

Posted in After She Speaks Up - Reporting Domestic Violence and/or Suicide Threats, Fatal Assumptions, Lethality Indicators - in News

Tagged with domestic violence, retaliation for reporting, stalking added Aug. 09

Target Population:	Married and Unmarried persons in California, ages 15 and older, of all racial, cultural and economic backgrounds
Federal Award Amount:	$2,342,080/year
Program Name:	California Healthy Marriages Coalition
Project Period:	9/30/2006 - 9/29/2011

93.010: Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)	$128,610,003
98.001: USAID Foreign Assistance for Programs Overseas	$11,058,644
93.279: Drug Abuse and Addiction Research Programs	$9,561,182
93.995: Adolescent Family Life_Demonstration Projects	$8,064,374
93.273: Alcohol Research Programs	$6,222,97

FAMILY HEALTH INTERNATIONAL (FHI)	$3,593,286
SCRIPPS RESEARCH INSTITUTE	$2,551,682
PROGRAM FOR APPROPRIATE TECHNOLOGY IN HEALTH	$2,233,162
HERITAGE COMMUNITY SERVICES INC	$2,000,000
BROWN UNIVERSITY	$1,672,760
POPULATION COUNCIL INC	$1,613,000
PATH	$1,500,000
NEUROBEHAVIORAL RESEARCH INC	$1,466,239
NEW HOPE CENTER INC	$1,399,907
CENTER FOR SELF-SUFFICIENCY, INC.	$1,399,300

2009	Columbus Hospital	NJ	COMMUNITY BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION	2	Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)	DISCRETIONARY	BERNADETTE VISSANI	$- 739,820
2009	METRO ATLANTA YOUTH FOR CHRIST, INC	GA	COMMUNITY-BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION	3	Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)	DISCRETIONARY	CINDY MILLER	$ 300,186
2009	Saint Michael`s Medical Center, Inc	NJ	COMMUNITY BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION	1	Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)	DISCRETIONARY	BERNADETTE VISSANI	$ 677,551
2008	A WOMAN`S PLACE MINISTRIES, INC.	FL	ABSTINENCE EDUCATION	1	Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)	DISCRETIONARY	MICHAEL LAYTON	$ 600,000
2008	A WOMENS CONCERN, INC.	MA	HEALTHY FUTURES ABSTINENCE EDUCATION INITIATIVE	3	Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)	DISCRETIONARY	ELIZABETH SNYDER	$ 600,000
2008	ABSTINENCE & MARRIAGE EDUCATION PARTNERSHIP	IL	COMMUNITY BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION	1	Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)	DISCRETIONARY	SCOTT PHELPS	$ 512,500
2008	ABSTINENCE EDUCATION CONSULTANTS,INC.	KS	COMMUNITY-BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION	1	Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)	DISCRETIONARY	LOIS THEIS	$ 600,000
2008	ABSTINENCE TIL MARRIAGE EDUCATION	OH	COMMUNITY BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION	3	Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)	DISCRETIONARY	CATHERINE E WOOD	$ 600,000
2008	AIDS RESOURCE CENTER OF WISCONSIN, INC	WI	COMMUNITY BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION	1	Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)	DISCRETIONARY	SCOTT STOKES	$ 600,000
2008	ALPHA CENTER	SD	COMMUNITY BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION	1	Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)	DISCRETIONARY	KIMBERLY MARTINEZ	$ 600,000
2008	ALTERNATIVE COMMUNITY DEVELOPMENT SERVICES	TX	COMMUNITY BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION	1	Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)	DISCRETIONARY	SHARI L CARROLL	$ 454,922
2008	ARIZONA MEXICO BORDER HEALTH FOUNDATION	AZ	COMMUNITY BASED ABSTINENCE EDUCATION	1	Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)	DISCRETIONARY	ALBERT MORENO	$ 550,000
2008	AWARE, INC.	WA	WASHINGTON STATE: COMMUNITY-BASED ABSTINENCE UNTIL MARRIAGE PROJECT	1	Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)	DISCRETIONARY	JAMES N GRENFELL	$ 499,849
2008	About Our Kids, Inc.	MO	STRATEGIES FOR ABSTINENCE AND VIRTUE EDUCATION (SAVE)	2	Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)	DISCRETIONARY	ALICIA HUMES	$ 600,000
2008	Abstinence the Better Choice, Inc.	OH	ABSTINENCE THE BETTER CHOICE	3	Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)	DISCRETIONARY	CHERYL BIDDLE	$ 600,000
2008	Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Inc.	AZ	POWER FITNESS ABSTINENCE PROGRAM- TEACHING YOUTH AGES 12 THROUGH 18 THE SOCIAL, PSYCHOLOGI	3	Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE)	DISCRETIONARY	EVA GODDARD	$ 600,000

FY	Award Number	Budget Year of Support	Agency	Award Code	Action Issue Date	Amount This Action
2008	90FE0037	3	ACF	0	09-14-2008	$550,000.00
Award Subtotal:						$550,000.00

Archive for August 2009

Excuse #1: PTSD (what’s YOUR excuse?)

re: The PTSD – There’s no Excuse for Abuse!

Like my approach to this Blog, it’s a choice. (see photo to right)

Excuse #2: I’ll let Wikipedia (so to speak) speak to this:

OVERVIEW

Hence, EXCUSE #2: I’m the author, not “other than the author.”

Wages

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“Csikszentmihalyi“

Personal background

{{His son is one REALLY smart dude too, so perhaps we should listen up!

And, sit at his feet to be taught, too!**}}

[edit]Flow

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This voice from the past (1989 to 2009 = 20 years!) —

1992

Have a nice weekend. Again, I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day.

While this essay is music (the voice of logic, of common sense truth) to my ears, but it’s not a tune many people like these days. Because it actually addresses the impact of role-modeling and personal responsibility upon the next generation.

This was written Pre-VAWA and Pre-National Fatherhood Inititative, which one theme of this blog has been showing what these cost, and how they attempt to cancel each other out.

Wife Abuse and Child Custody and Visitation by the Abuser,

Speaking personally, the exchanges where were the problems occurred in our case. I asked (for YEARS) for help with this, and got none. Then finally on an overnight, I stopped seeing my daughters again.

Voices from the even further past, still valid today:

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Moral: Never attempt to shake down a successful PI attorney

JUST FOR A POINT OF REFERENCE, THIS IS 2009. Removal from the bench happened after 3 years. What does that say about who gets to the Supreme Court level, that he did?

NINE YEARS TO BEAR FRUIT, AND THAT’S WITH FEDS INVOLVED.

IS IT SAD ENOUGH FOR ACTUAL PRISON TIME? if not, then other such judges will also presume, well, not THAT sad…..

That’s true, and we appreciate the good work in this case. Now about the others . . . . . ??

(2) Tembeckjian

RELATED ARTICLES

(3) BLATCHLY

(4) SPARGO

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AUGUST 26, 2009

We are allowed to give birth, but too often, not to also speak.

“Let us Now Praise Famous Men“

August 26, 2009

WHO MOURNS THESE?

Deborah Ross (51) and Ersie Charles Everette (58)

2009/2008 Torres, Catalina (44) & Eustacio (41), Sgt. Paul Starzyk

2008 account “Details emerge in Martinez triple shooting:

Elnora Caldwell, 46

She asked for protection

Recovery of Nina’s body and sentencing

Anastasia Melnitchenko, 22, unmarried, No asylum in America

Body-in-trunk suspect got lots of counseling

‘Doing satisfactorily’ after 6 months of weekly sessions

Taking matters into their own hand; two brothers kill widow & her relatives:

Winta Mehari, 28; her brother Yonas Mehari, 17;

and their mother, 50-year-old Regbe Bahrengasi

Kennedy’s Battle With Cancer Lost

Jeremiah 17

I saw a charming, Robert-Redford smile, and I thought about Chappaquiddick,

MichaelMoore.com Commemoration

Kennedy, Youngest Kennedy Brother, Led Political Dynasty in Wake of Tragedy

The Only One Left

Kennedy Curse: Political Power, Personal Tragedy

Kennedy’s Battle With Cancer Lost

With all due respect, we do not need any more royalty in this country. We need to set our sites on something invisible, something written, but something of principle, that unites us. Our leaders need to stick to that, and out of respect to OURSELVES ,we should demand that.

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THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CONFERENCE OF THE DECADE!

From Ideology to Inclusion 2009:

Mail or fax in your order today!

But, who are the real stakeholders?

Why not instead just raise funds for subscriptions for women leaving abuse to some of the publications talking about us, and our children, and our batterers, and our stalkers, and our children’s abductors, and our options, and how to intervene.

Benefits (from OUR point of view, at least):

Detriments (possibly from publishers, conferrers, model code designers, and a WHOLE lot more):

I think those would be the primary differences. The question is, HOW would America Survive without the economy of pathology? And the paradigm of the us/them; subject/object expertise heirarchy?

What year do you think this was written?

National Institute of Justice Project to Develop Model Anti-Stalking Code for States

Limitations of Report from Domestic Violence Perspective

Analysis of utility of model code proposed by NIJ for battered women

Benefits of Model Code

Flaws of Model Code

Effectiveness of anti-stalking codes in general for battered women

WHEN WAS THE EXCERPT WRITTEN?

Domestic Violence & Stalking: A Comment on the Model Anti-Stalking Code Proposed by the National Institute of Justice

Publication Date: December 1994

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> – > – > – >

**Winta Mehari, 28; her brother Yonas Mehari, 17;**

Looking for volunteers for domestic violence response teams
September 23, 3008

Providence House thanks awareness month supporters
November 14, 2007

From Violence to Compassion
February 14, 2008