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Archive for December 26th, 2010

Is Family Court Reformable? a.k.a. “Woman punched unconscious at child custody exchange.”

with one comment


I doubt it . . . . . . .

This (red, italics, below) is my “over 1500 characters” response to an article at:

Our Seeds to Bear Fruit in 2010:  The Year of Court Reform — or Revolution.

by Laura Lynn, L.A. Family Court Examiner.

(other articles by her  HERE)

I came to that post via THIS post, under:

US (United Survivors) for Family Court Reform.” subtitled “Kiss Your Rights Goodbye”

which I came to under from Rightsformothers.com, responding to another statement that it’s “hoped” next year will be better.  I am not into the “hoping” scenario, rather advocate some “doing” . . . . .

Family Court is not reformable — its “form” is abominable.  It’s doing what it was formed for, as far as I can tell.


Please scroll through the  comments (most of them posted about 11 months ago) on it.  The times are so much farther along than those that are building castles on the sand (in the U.S.) realize, as more and more people’s homes, lives, and accumulated wealth is appropriated, while taxes are still being collected to sometimes go straight to racketeering, slush funds, and built-in systems of bribes & corruption (through the court system in particular, I’m thinking about), it’s similar to, I suppose “global warming.”  Talk is plenteous about icebergs melting and the coastal lands being flooded.  Well, this is  a flood of a different sort, that is eroding the island on which law-abiding, tax-paying, citizens live, and hope that the institutions their taxes support are ethical, and doing their appointed jobs.

They aren’t.  And it IS your business that they aren’t.  Not just mine, because of “no-fault divorce” + “Fatherlessness is a national crisis” dogma have done a head-on crash in the family law venue.

i KNOW I’ve done my utmost best in the situation.  At some point, people who are content to “support” and “empathize” with one side o the other strung out in this system, have to get good and mad and start not taking sides with one parent, or the other, but demanding to know what is being done with the part of their wages going to their (a) city, (b) county (c) state and (d) federal government.  Let alone (if the shoe fits, wear it) (e) local faith-based organization.

A man punched a woman unconscious during a custody exchange.  Reported as “Woman punched unconsious” or police tasered a man.  In fact, it sounds like a FATHER punching a MOTHER in the face, and probably with children witnessing their Mom get punched unconscious by their father in a public place.  But the headlines sanitized this (her “state” of being unconscious associated with “child custody exchange” as if it was that exchange’s fault, or hers.  The puncher (or alleged puncher) was removed from the headlines, just as the word “mother” is virtually removed from association with family and children in public policy these days.

However, when it comes to a disaster happening, then the word “woman” (was she a mother?) IS allowed to be associated with “Child custody exchange” as if as a (‘unconscious’ a.k.a. subliminal reportring) warning to other mothers not to confront a Dad during these situations….

Last night it made national news (not TV, though) that a man punched a woman unconscious in a “custody exchange.”  He was arrested and charged with a felony, but as far as I can tell, only because he also resisted arrest afterwards, AND happened to do this probably within walking distance of the local police station, AND several people called 911 , witnessing it.  The sanitized version of the “dispute” can be found in only a few places online– but here it is:

This is where blogging these things gets one sick in the stomach.  Gagging on Google, I guess:

The phrase “a man punched” brought these results:

Trying to get my actual article, I refined the search to:

a man punched a woman in the face during custody exchange

Readers may note, while I got the intended article, the leading phrase places the (grammatical) blame on the woman.  The man didn’t punch (direct action) but the woman “Was punched”) passive action:

Will someone please tell me why the main headlines to this search result are:

  • “Police tasered a man who ALLEGEDLY punched his ex-wife in the face…”
  • or
  • “Woman punched unconscious.”

I understand shorthand of “woman punched” for “woman WAS punched [causingher to become] unconscious.”  SORT of, that is.  Let’s talk about unconsciously reporting this with the two words “woman punched” as if she did it, or was responsible for having it done to her.

Here they are, copied:

Search Results

  1. News for a man punched woman in face during …

  2. Woman punched unconscious during child custody dispute
    2 days ago 

    By Roman Gokhman WALNUT CREEK — Police Tasered a man who allegedlypunched his ex-wife in the face during a child custody exchange and then fought officers 

    San Jose Mercury News – 16 related articles

  3. Woman punched unconscious during child custody dispute 

    Dec 23, 2010  WALNUT CREEK — Police Tasered a man who allegedly punched his ex-wife in the face during a child custody exchange and then fought officers 
    http://www.contracostatimes.com/news/ci_16934218 – Cached
  4. Woman punched unconscious during child custody dispute – Inside 

    Dec 23, 2010  WALNUT CREEK — Police Tasered a man who allegedly punched his ex-wife in the face during a child custody exchange and then fought officers 
    http://www.insidebayarea.com/bay-area-news/ci_16934218 – Cached
  5. Woman punched unconscious during child custody dispute – The Truth 

    Woman punched unconscious during child custody dispute  a man who allegedlypunched his ex-wife in the face during a child custody exchange and then  CREEK — Police Tasered a man who allegedly punched his ex-wife in the face d. 
    thetruthaboutthefamilycourt.blogspot.com/…/womanpunched-unconscious- during-child.html
  6. Woman punched unconscious during child custody dispute @ pulpNews.Com

    Dec 25, 2010  WALNUT CREEK — Police Tasered a man who allegedly punched his ex-wife in the face during a child custody exchange and then fought officers 
  7. Woman punched unconscious during child custody dispute – San Jose 

    Dec 23, 2010  WALNUT CREEK — Police Tasered a man who allegedly punched his ex-wife in the face during a child custody exchange and then fought officers 
    http://www.mercurynews.com/california/ci_16934218 – Cached
  8. Woman punched unconscious during child custody dispute « Battered 

    Dec 26, 2010  WALNUT CREEK — Police Tasered a man who allegedly punched his ex-wife in the face during a child custody exchange and then fought officers 
    angelzfury.wordpress.com/…/womanpunched-unconscious-during-child- custody-dispute/?…
  9. Child Custody Issues Now

    Dec 25, 2010  Woman punched unconscious during child custody dispute – San Jose punched his ex-wife in the face during a child custody exchange and 
    childcustodyissuesnow.com/ – Cached
  10. Woman punched unconscious during child custody dispute – Topix

    Woman punched unconscious during child custody dispute  Police Tasered a man who allegedly punched his ex-wife in the face during a child custody exchange and then fought officers …. Pittsburg man, 21, dies after accidental Concor. 
    http://www.topix.com/…/womanpunched-unconscious-during-child-custody– dispute – Cached

The fact that (see my blog) about $one million of funding, per year, has been coming to this state precisely so that such things should NOT occur, ought to be questioned.  I have.  Now it’s your turn.

Here’s my NOT under 1,500 comment to an article almost a year old:


If my tone is too intense, then just remember — I don’t go around punching people in the face when upset with them.  This is First-Amendment expression.  You will not find a threat in here, or a recommendation to do anything illegal.  In fact, I think a passive approach to citizenship is immoral and unethical.  I truly believe (and was formerly of this category of working women, and men) that we cannot hand off to others the responsibility that accrues to being a human being and a citizen — we cannot farm our our consciences on the bases that we “gave at the office” in the form of wage-withholding.  That social contract was broken long, long ago.

This is just my response to reading these comments on the day after Christmas.  I have decided that “christmas” no longer exists for me, and shouldn’t.  It’s just a source of danger, and pain for people stuck in these systems, based on family (when half don’t have one anymore) and materialism (when the legal system has bankrupted, some, drained others, and no end in sight).  Also even thinking about it, seems to be a waste of time, at some level.  For a literary parallel, perhaps see Watership Down.  And think in terms of herds, and flocks.  The flocks and herds survive, domesticated, by sacrificing those on the outskirts, while they are fleeced, pruned, and used to support the managers of the herds and flocks.
In the US, we are, however, PEOPLE, and until we collectively start acting as such, (and insisting our children not be also treated in herds and flocks through the local school systems, as caste-sorters, while the teacher’s unions are among the most powerful entities  around) we are going to lose collectively the human spirit and what freedoms, if any, the last generation stood up for.
The commenter “Rebel” has a good question that I asked, too.  As I understand it, the Jeffrey Elkins of the “Elkins Task Force” was a disgruntled father. Trust it to this group of affiliations to take the father’s side, when it is in the middle of one of the wealthier areas of the United States, and there are still domestic violence femicides and family wipeouts going on, in Contra Costa and Alameda Counties, in San Francisco, and San Mateo — it almost doesn’t seem to matter which county when it comes to some of these matters.
While many know and blog about the AFCC, I’m surprised so few people pick up on the series of federal grants to the states, dating back to 1996, that provide “Access/Visitation” to a single state agency (in California, it’s the Judicial Council; other places, the Attorney General’s office, or some single other agency) to “facilitate”  more noncustodial parents’ (translation:  Fathers’) access to their children, via mediation, supervised visitation, parenting education classes (limited in CA to these three).  This series of grants in effect set up a series of slush-fund receptacles and undermine the legal process, putting it centrally in the (distant) Secretary of HHS hands nationwide.  Among the nonprofits that various judges and/or family law attorneys have in place to “help” the rest of us incompetents and nincompoops (sic) live, after having produced offspring and separated, is one called “Kids’ Turn” that is itself a pretty good international marketing scheme.More on that by — well, look it up yourself, dang it! — or “familylawcourtscom” (Bonnie Russell blog).  Another set of schemes that are supposedly helping women such as myself include the Family Justice Center Alliance, starting in San Diego (Casey Gwinn), second, up here in Alameda County, and I read there’s now even some in the UK.
Simultaneous — and apparently at taxpayer expense — state after state has been (for years now), and following the Republican Contract with America, the Clinton Compromise (PWORA), and the Fatherhood Executive memo of 1995, and a whole lot more — doing state-based “fatherhood commissions.”  The one in Ohio I found recently actually targets counties with “female-headed households” and is so entwined with different branches of government, I’d have to say, safely that whether one is a good and upright Dad, or a good and upright Mom, you’re screwed…..  These favor the less than ethical….
What’s even more offensive, is the collaboration between DV agencies and the Family Law system (which I interpret basically as a mental health-based business racket); the local DV nonprofit does “triage” and shunts cases off to the family law venue, where they are dropped like a hot potato.  Meanwhile, a (mother, OK?) going into court self-help center will find lots of AFCC publications, and will most likely NOT get a call-back (I didn’t) even if trying to file a restraining order, again, from the agency who has it’s brochure out there.
I got curious about the history of the family law system, per se, when it began stripping me of my protection and my life through repeated OSC’s based on hearsay having real “strange” conclusions.  Even my own kids saw through it quickly, aged, middle-elementary, and reported this to me.  It was immediately apparent that facts were of no interest.  My entire life (over 40 years of it at the time) had been “deleted” and was irrelevant to the process.
……I believe the Elkins Task Force was a farce.  Only a token effort to allow public participation (though some was), took place, and after about a third of my adult life in this area, half fighting abuse in the home, the other half fighting legal abuse AND the other ways of attacking my life personally for the crime choosing to be single and alive rather than married and a statistic involving children, and ex, and who knows who else.  …  The question posed is good — is there a connection between that Elkins and another Elkins?
We have GOT to get back to the UNalienable rights (for men and women both) set forth in the Declaration of Independence.  We have a right to stay alive.  The Bill of Rights (also radically and repeatedly violated by these procedures) also affirms our right to self-defense.  But if we seek legal remedies to effect that self-defense, we’re screwed, financially, and as to our independence.
The Conciliation Code that automatically declares that ANY custody dispute between parents puts their kids under the jurisdiction of the courts (documented plenty of places:  Google “Cindy Ross,” NAFCJ.blogspot.net, or the graphics-low, data-rich site http://nafcj.net (who has been lobbying against organizational corruption through this system since 1993, in DC area and networked across the US) — is a power grab by institutions over growing children, in the name of some ethereal amorphous definition of “family.”  I even found a constitutional definition of “family” at one point.
There is no question about this:  Legislating family over individual rights, and among them the right to stay alive, is next step slavery/theocracy.  And, after studying many of the grants systems (and acknowledging many others have studied all different aspects of the courts), the only conclusion I can come to is that they are hazardous to he average person’s health, and all of our economic health.  These people do NOT uphold the Constitution or respect it, overall, or as a group.
One question I have to pose is whether the AFCC represents the majority of the judicial, family law, mediator, therapist, custody evaluator etc. (ad nauseam) employees/professionals — or is there a significant group of NON-AFCC members who have any clout in the courts?
One look at the origins of this racket (which I do on my blog, based on others’ work plus my own, under “Shady Shaky Foundations of Family Law” post….) shows it’s based in financial fraud of the IRS, and the taxpayers from the very beginning (as best I can see, I’ll qualify for my own protection).
There are now probate scams relating to judicial things, and affecting elders too.  THere seems to be no exit from this drain on the economy.
I have a family member in government down there, and if I wasn’t shocked enough at the family law system (going through it), I was moreso at the arrogance, attitude, and dishonesty from this particular member.  I take it as typical for the context, and necessary to survive in some circles.
I understand Yaffee has now retired…SickofCorruption, I want to know about the movement you are talking about — if it relates to a boycott, please try to contact me, as I think only this type of “I won’t sit in the back of the bus!” will work.  I have been driven out of my profession, out of my kids’ lives, and into dependency after getting OUT of my marriage, OFF welfare and back INTO my profession, close to solvency, before the 3 years of a restraining order had expired.
In the seven years since, things have continued to escalate the more I took any stand.  It has affected and reversed significant physical emotional health gains I made because I threw a battering husband out of the household, but not him, out of our children’s lives.  I cycled through phones and jobs since the day the restraining order renewal was consolidated with a divorce and custody action.  The ex didn’t want either custody (not being able to afford to house the kids, and he was dependent on my support during marriage also, for his own business, for bills, and for whatnot.  The guy was simply not self-sufficient as a person, although he had been prior to marriage, as far as I could tell.) and has made it clear since (after trying on at least another cohabiting relationship, and was kicked out of that, or left it — possibly because she, too, had some minimum standards — and wants me back, causing trouble all last year, on this end, and hazard.
I don’t give up easy, and researched, called, networked, WORKED, negotiated things on this end, and often enough had to repeatedly negotiate simple things like rides, when a car was down; keeping phone on, when credit had been ruined (in the marriage), and every time some utility went off, another major deposit was needed to turn it back on.  However one looks at these things, they have a real financial impact and diagnosis.
There is no question anymore in my mind that our U.S. Government is trafficking in what they call “our” children (eliminating parentage), and the courts are a real venue for separating them from one, or (ideally) both parents.  the parents, being so traumatized, are then mental-health diagnosed for actually responding to these outrages, and quarantined.  I literally twice had law enforcement trying to get my kids into a foster care of CPS situation while I had a standing court order as to custody, no crimes or violations of it on the record, and I was myself successfully teaching other people’s children with good recommendations from their parents, and still receiving a referral from time to time on that basis.
There’s a book (written a while back) called “Transforming Abuse” whose language speaks to me, and another one, written by a policeman (Christian) called “Refuge” and acknowledging some of the violations of personal rights, and resistance within law enforcement to acknowledging this crime.  Another one, don’t be mislead by the title, but by a Patricia Romano, “It’s Not Your Fault” talks about attuned relationships.
This type of abuse (either between spouses, OR of the government institutions to individuals) repeatedly disrupts relationships, including people to themselves, to their kids, to their work lives, to their landlords (if renting), to their banking institutions, and to their sense of any safety or place to function in our society without ongoing disruption and exposure to these things.  To watch an elderly parent be robbed of his or her land and assets in the meantime, as children also are no-contact, is severely traumatizing, and in a third world country would certainly be categorized as a human rights violation, or a form of torture — which it is.
After I got out of the dangerous relationship (FYI, my only one, too) I was very determined to have boundaries, and not compromise them.  Immediately, almost every entity I (or I and my daughters came from) pushed for more and more compromise, til the back was against the wall.  this includes policeman after I called 911 to get my ex away from the home on a non-visitation weekend.  This includes my refusing to take arbitrary orders about our daughters, or me, which had no legal basis in the court order (not to be confused with total inflexibility, but there are times you know it’s about giving orders, and not a real need).
Finally, over the edge, the guy simply grabbed our kids from my custody on an overnight, and with his girlfriend, falsely imprisoned them, holding them truant (while declaring in court they weren’t even enrolled in a school), and at a location he’d refused to reveal to me the prior year, even after I’d in court gotten a judge to require that I  be told where my kids were, on visitations, being their sole physical custodian.  At every point of this process, it was made clear that one side (litigant) was to be taken on hearsay, at face value, and that no evidence I provided (and I did) was relevant.  A minor’s counsel (I think that was the term) was brought in AFTER felony child-stealing (not prosecuted), and I swear this woman did not read the case file.  I was given a psychological diagnosis (by this attorney) before she met me, and after I had asked her (despite the trauma of a recent child-stealing event and work loss related) to define her scope of service — what WAS her role.  She refused to define, and didn’t respond when I forwarded to her (and called about) a minor daughter’s having suddenly forwarded me an Amber Alert about a young girl the same age as herself.
When this family law has a mediator’s form that reads “child-stealing” along with “domestic violence” along with “child abuse” as if it were “what color are your eyes, and what’s your date of birth?” on the intake form,  while the same state’s Penal Code calls child abuse, child-stealing, and domestic violence (at certain levels) crimes (felony or misdemeanor), we have an inherent conflict-of-interest between family law and criminal law.
These are not going to be resolved, because their vocabulary, their intents, and their guidelines are absolutely in conflict with each other — while the AFCC et al. state the “high-conflict” relationships are the real criminal.  Not people — “relationships.”
I hope readers will forgive the length of this comment, but I am really hurting at this time; what a challenge to live an ethical life in these situations, when most people’s lives require actual relationships — with community, with courts, with employers/clients, with the IRS, with so many entities that comprise how we live.
I think that if the judiciary are themselves operating as if on a black market (see Richard Fine, etc. exposes — also see, FYI, Joseph Zernik, DDS) — they are literally forcing the populace to do the same to handle them.  We cannot have a double standard of justice in this country — and THAT is the most important thing.  If elected officials are not ethical, but can’t be outed– then we are to do what our Declaration of Independence declares, and handle our own business independently of their “intrigues.”   Too many people are dependent on the myth that some integrity exists in these quarters.
I am at the point where I can’t stomach reading a lot more about all this corruption: I acknowledge it.  I believe that laweekly (referenced above) has a lot to say, there is a Ron Kaye in the L.A. area who has outed a lot of ethical irregularities in city finances/politics.  Plenty of people are.  the question is, what to do about it?
(sigh…).  Again, “Rebel” whoever you are, those are good questions.  I have no idea who Laura Lynn is, but thanks for blogging and good luck to you.  I’e also be interested to contact, as I have an ex on the loose (income unknown — because he has an outstanding child support arrears coming in, and he ssems to be alive, I gather he’s below the radar on his income, or soaking some other elderly woman somewhere of income, while pushing middle-aged envelope himself without having held a “real” job since I married him or a legal business as it turns out, in his trade (that i’ve been aware of).  I don’t want to live off this guy — I want him OUT of my life, and my life back, and until these boundaries are re-established, it’s been made clear to me that any more I take, in life or towards life, will be countered, and has been.
Written by someone who has been told to shut up, disappear, and drop off the face of the map, and recently so, by people who have committed crimes (as best I understand the word) against society (because they are violations of the Penal Code), my mother, myself, and my daughters, over a period of time.  This was supposedly for everyone’s benefit, but in the bottom line, it boils down to $$$ and not much else.  One reason I keep narrating is that at some level, I don’t know how safe I am, and I want a gol’ dang track record, even if I sound like an idiot in the process of it!

Here’s that article on “Woman Punched” — although she GOT punched in the face…allegedly..


Woman punched unconscious during child custody dispute

Posted: 12/23/2010 09:53:33 PM PST

WALNUT CREEK — Police Tasered a man who allegedly punched his ex-wife in the face during a child custody exchange and then fought officers who tried to arrest him.

Don West, 50, of Walnut Creek, was booked at the County Jail in Martinez on suspicion of domestic violence and making criminal threats after being evaluated at a hospital.

The assault took place at 5:50 p.m. in a municipal parking lot near a pub in the 1500 block of North Broadway, police Sgt. Lanny Edwards said.

Several people called 911 after seeing West argue with the victim over the custody exchange of two children, before knocking her unconscious with a punch.

West ran away, but returned later, police said. When officers tried to arrest him, he fought back and resisted arrest.

Here’s a yahoo link to 1550 North Broadway in Walnut Creek and the Walnut Creek Police station at 1660 North Main (just looked it up): the distance is .1 min by car or .15 miles:  Kudos to the police for coming quickly to the scene of the “alleged” crime — it was in their backyard…almost.

go 220 ft
go 292 ft
Turn  on NMAINST
go 266 ft
Arrive at 1660NMAINST,WALNUTCREEK, on the 

Time: 1 mins, Distance: 0.15 mi

There are federal funds to the states to make sure that this thing does not happen.  I’ve not got time to track down Mr. Don West and his unnamed wife, but I wish HER well, and I wish men would figure out that punching a woman in the face, or a 14 yr old girl, is inappropriate.  Be thankful we don’t punch back so much, because we understand (if we have kids) that this family law system packs its own unique punch to us, as mothers.

Written by Let's Get Honest|She Looks It Up

December 26, 2010 at 7:42 pm

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