Let's Get Honest! Absolutely Uncommon Analysis of Family & Conciliation Courts' Operations, Practices, & History

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Tricks, or Treats? Decide before Tuesday, Happy Halloween..

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Some of my better comments are found on “Rightsformothers.com” a site that became necessary to reminds us that this word exists in relationship to families — hard to tell, from this (or, previous) Administration’s usages:

An Event to End Violence Against Women.”

This afternoon, we marked Domestic Violence Awareness Month with the President and Vice President by highlighting the Obama Administration’s unprecedented coordination and cooperation across the entire government to protect victims of domestic and sexual violence and enable survivors to break the cycle of abuse.

Is that even a credible promise? Violence against women (not to mention men) has been going on for milennia.

It’s the coordination and cooperation part that frightens me…especially in combination with equally (if not moreso) “comprehensive and coordinated” efforts to stop the social crisis of fatherlessness — blurring the separation of powers, the different branches of government represented at each President’s oath of office (in which one PERSON represents the Executive branch, and one PERSON represents the Judicial branch, and NO PERSON represents the legislative branch — but the oath is to uphold the Constitution.

I believe those days when went down for the count somewhere between 1913 and the development of the Internet.

Children suffer, too. Joe Torre, legendary baseball manager, spoke today about growing up in an abusive household; being afraid to come home when he saw his father’s car parked in front of the house; and how he found refuge in baseball.

Issues like this one remind us that there is still work to be done if we’re going to make the promise of America real for every American – including women. That’s why, last year, President Obama created the White House Council on Women and Girls. He gave the Council an important mission – to make sure that all federal agencies consider the needs of women in every policy, in every program and in every piece of legislation he supports. Because of our focus on women and girls across the Administration, we have unprecedented coordination in the fight against domestic violence.

Today, the Department of Justice, Health and Human Services, Housing and Urban Development, Treasury, Labor and FDIC announced new initiatives to protect victims of abuse and provide resources for families and communities to prevent abuse. Domestic violence and sexual assault are not just criminal justice issues – the scope and far-reaching effects of violence require a coordinated response across the Federal government.

The initiatives announced and highlighted today demonstrate a broad, comprehensive response to reducing violence against women. Specifically, these concrete actions include steps to:

  • Protect Children and Break the Cycle of Violence
  • Improve Legal Protections for Victims of Domestic Violence
  • Increase Sexual Assault Arrests and Successful Prosecutions
  • Help Victims Regain Housing and Financial Independence
As the President said today:

Those are just a few of the steps we’re taking. But the bottom line is this: No one in America should live in fear because they are unsafe in their own home – no adult, no child. And no one who is the victim of abuse should ever feel as though they have no way to get out. We need to make sure that every victim of domestic violence knows that they are not alone; that there are resources available to them in their moment of greatest need. As a society, we need to ensure that if a victim of abuse reaches out for help, we are there to lend a hand.

That’s not just a job for government. That’s a job for all of us. Thanks to all of you for the work you do in our communities. This Administration is going to stand with you in this fight every step of the way.

Additional details on how the Obama Administration is working to end violence against women can be found by downloading the fact sheet: Obama Administration Highlights Unprecedented Coordination across Federal Government to Combat Violence Against Women (pdf).

Valerie Jarett is Senior Advisor to the President and Chair of the White House Council on Women and Girls

Yeah, well — here’s the FATHERHOOD.GOV/Press Releases

“I care about Men, Too” version:

October 18, 2010
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Administration for Children and Families, Office of Family Assistance, National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse and Ad Council Show Fathers the Critical Role They Play in Their Child’s Life (2010)

October 8, 2009
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Office of Family Assistance, and the Ad Council launch new PSAs to inspire a new commitment to responsible fatherhood (2009)

June 1, 2009
Ad Council and National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse Join ESPN to Encourage Fathers to “Take time to be a dad today” (2009)

June 13, 2008
The Ad Council and the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse Launch New Public Service Announcements (PSAs) to Coincide with Father’s Day (2008)

That Oct. 18, 2010 announcement perhaps illustrates why announcing the intent to (garner the female vote) came so late in the game, before the voting booths open next week. Here it is — the whole page:

Washington DC, October 18, 2010 /PRNewswire/ — Nine out of ten parents believe there is a “father absence crisis” in America, according to two national surveys by the National Fatherhood Initiative. To inspire fathers to become more involved in the lives of their children, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Administration for Children and Families, Office of Family Assistance, the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse (NRFC) and The Advertising Council are launching a new series of public service advertisements (PSAs).

The new PSAs feature American Indian, Asian American and Hispanic fathers and their children in an effort to speak to all fathers and potential dads in a national campaign that was launched in 2008.

According to the NRFC, children who live without their biological fathers are on average at least two to three times more likely to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents. Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior and avoid high-risk behaviors.

Was it acknowledged — in the Event to End Violence Against Women (or is it merely “abuse”?) that many times biological fathers are the perpetrators of such abuse including actually killing their children and/or wives?

So which is it — there is a way OUT of abuse, when perpetrated by a father? Or the absence of a father is the CAUSE of abuse? Well, it really depends on which audience is being addressed — by the same Administration, and same Executive Branch department called “Health and HUMAN services.”

“These new PSAs continue the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse’s tradition of delivering messages that inspire dads to give their children what they need to succeed: their time,” said Roland C. Warren, Media Campaign Director of the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse.

Created pro bono by C-E (Campbell-Ewald), the new TV, outdoor and Web PSAs emphasize to fathers that “the smallest moments can have the biggest impact on a child’s life.” The PSAs conclude with the campaign tagline, “Take time to be a dad today” and direct fathers to visit www.fatherhood.gov or call 1-877-4DAD411 for parenting tips, fatherhood programs and additional resources for fathers. New Spanish outdoor and Web PSAs were produced in collaboration with Hispanic Communications Network (HCN).

“We are proud to continue our work with the Department of Health and Human Services on this campaign that is helping fathers recognize the critical role they play in their children’s lives,” said Peggy Conlon, president & CEO of the Ad Council. “These lighthearted and touching PSAs will demonstrate to all fathers that the time they spend with their children can make a significant impact on their lives.”

“It has been our privilege to be a part of this worthwhile endeavor,” Bill Ludwig, chairman and CEO of Campbell-Ewald said. “We want to inspire a new commitment of active fatherhood with an engaging message to fathers that even the smallest moments can have the biggest impact on a child’s life, while capturing the hearts of viewers everywhere.”

Since its launch in 2008, the Fatherhood Involvement campaign has received nearly $97 million in donated media across television, radio, outdoor, print and digital. Per the Ad Council’s model, the PSAs will run and air in advertising time and space that is donated by the media.

Through HHS, the federal government supports responsible fatherhood in diverse ways. Because engaged fathers strengthen families and contribute to healthy outcomes for children, many HHS programs integrate support for fathers. These include Head Start, child support programs, and Temporary Assistance for Needy Families. HHS also supports programs that focus on responsible fatherhood, such as the Promoting Responsible Fatherhood grant program administered by the Office of Family Assistance.

National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse
The National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse (NRFC) is funded by the Administration for Children and Families’ Office of Family Assistance’s (OFA) efforts to assist States and communities in promoting and supporting Responsible Fatherhood. Primarily a tool for professionals operating Responsible Fatherhood programs, the NRFC provides access to print and electronic publications, timely information on fatherhood issues, and targeted resources that support OFA-funded Responsible Fatherhood grantees. The NRFC Website also provides essential information for other audiences interested in fatherhood issues. The address for the NRFC website is www.fatherhood.gov.

The Advertising Council
The Ad Council is a non-profit organization with a rich history of marshalling volunteer talent from the advertising and media industries to deliver critical messages to the American public. Having produced literally thousands of PSA campaigns addressing the most pressing social issues of the day, the Ad Council has effected, and continues to effect, tremendous positive change by raising awareness, inspiring action, and saving lives. To learn more about the Ad Council and its campaigns, visit www.adcouncil.org.

C-E (Campbell-Ewald) is one of the nation’s largest advertising, direct and digital communications agencies, with offices in Detroit, Los Angeles, San Antonio, Atlanta, Chicago, Dallas, New York, and Washington, D.C. A part of The Interpublic Group of Companies (NYSE:IPG), C-E partners with a score of national brands, including Alltel Wireless, Carrier, General Motors, Ghirardelli, Kaiser Permanente, Olympic Paints and Stains, OnStar, Remington Arms, USAA, United States Environmental Protection Agency, United States Mint, United States Navy and the United States Postal Service.

Media Contacts:
Vincent DiCaro
National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse
(240) 912-1270

Lisa Cullen
The Ad Council
(202) 331-5052

Pat Baskin
(586) 558-7200

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White House Logo

In response to President Obama’s call for a national conversation on responsible fatherhood and healthy families, learn how you can join the President’s Fatherhood and Mentoring Initiative.

Información en Español

En respuesta al llamado del presidente Obama para una conversación nacional sobre la paternidad responsable y las familias saludables, aprender cómo usted puede unirse a la Iniciativa Presidencial de Padres y Mentores.

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Geesh — which way should I vote? Which side of the agenda should I advocate for? Let’s see: It’s not about MEN, it’s not about WOMEN — it must be about FAMILIES. Violence is not a gender issue, after all is it? Let me go check one of the largest nonprofits around (branch in SF, California and I think in Washingon, D.C.), the FAMILY Violence Prevention Fund — and see how they handle the discrepancy between abuse is caused by (men) and abuse is caused by (absence of biological Dads in the home), supposedly, and more initiatives will end both of those:

National Institute on Fatherhood and Domestic Violence

WOW — talk about brilliant marketing strategy — just combine them both. (Note, I have actually looked at the funding behind this group, at least on “usaspending.gov” and noticed certain years it skyrocketed — and the language change to accompany it. I also noted, corresponding with the increased federal funding (plus other very conservative foundations) the DEcreased usages of the word “mothers” in relationship to their own children. Do a search — check that out. Well, here’s that Institute. Like MOST Institutes (or, for that matter, “initiatives”) they are electronically and training-oriented. This sets up the technical infrastructure, the grants stream, and searching for young innocents to indoctrinate — and marginalize some of us who have become middle-aged trying to escape the Family Court Traps.

ublic and Private Partnerships:

The NIFDV has been supported by public and private partners including the Doris Duke Charitable Foundation, the Ms. Foundation for Women, the Office on Violence Against Women, the Department of Health and Human Services, and the Family Violence Prevention & Services Program, Administration on Children and Families.

This project is being developed in partnership with other national organizations, such as the Center for Family Policy and Practice, the Institute on Domestic Violence in the African American Community, the National Latino Alliance to Eliminate Domestic Violence, Mending the Sacred Hoop, the Domestic Violence Resource Network, and the Minnesota Center Against Violence and Abuse.

The National Institute has three core elements:

  1. Training and Technical Assistance Leadership Academy
  2. Program Practice and Development Center
  3. Information Clearinghouse

Fatherhood has proven to be a powerful tool to reach men in understanding the effects of family violence. There is much to learn in this area and we need to move cautiously forward. Safety for women and children remain the focus and center of our work. By working with fathers in breaking the cycle of abuse, we will enhance the safety and wellbeing of their partners, children, grandchildren and future generations yet to come.

Fatherhood is a “tool” — interesting usage — a tool to reach men.

“Fatherhood” is a concept; it’s a word, and it’s a market niche, any more.

“We need to move cautiously forward.”

Sawing Wood Graphic

Well, yeah — tools can be dangerous.

Everyone knows that — right? Here’s from “cornbeltcarving.org” and General Tool Safety — the last few rules:

  1. Never try to catch a falling carving tool. Carve in footwear strong enough to protect your feet from falling tools.
  2. When sanding, use a dust mask, never blow, and protect your eyes.
  3. Never let children “play” with your tools or leave them alone in your workshop.
  4. Do not use any tools while under the influence of medication, alcohol, or when fatigued.
  5. Keep your tools in good working order, and keep your work area organized and clean.

In this information age, “WORDS” are tools. They do things such as pry kids loose from parents, dollars from working adults (for grants to support concepts like these, and institutes like these — NONprofits..), and the thinking process from humanity into hands of the experts that can’t decide whose kids are whose, or how to treat adults like adults: for example, with consequences for assault & battery behaviors such as loss of access to do it again. These mentalities USE children to TRAIN fathers to become less violent — to me, that’s no different from using them as bait.

Let me run that last NIFDV paragraph by again:

Fatherhood has proven to be a powerful tool to reach men in understanding the effects of family violence. There is much to learn in this area and we need to move cautiously forward. Safety for women and children remain the focus and center of our work. By working with fathers in breaking the cycle of abuse, we will enhance the safety and wellbeing of their partners, children, grandchildren and future generations yet to come.

Grammar Quiz: “We, Our” usage — who’s the “WE” ??? By working with fathers in “breaking the cycle of abuse” (see first grandiose promise, top of this post, and “Event” to End Violence Against Women) — We will ENHANCE the safety and wellbeing of their . . .

Hmm. Remember my post on the “-INGs” of the DV Industry? The job never gets done. It’s always beING done.

Vocabulary Quiz: (a.k.a. “Where’s Waldina”?)

Presumably — so far — to make a child, or a family with a child — for every BIO father [BIODads are the obsession of the fatherhood crisis movement; this can be hell on really fine stepDads who attempt to form a relationship with BioMoms], there is usually at least one corresponding mother — whether biological birth-giving, surrogate, etc.

So — where’s the word “mother”? How many words are used to substitute for the word “mother”?

Answer: 2: women, and partners.

I find that odd — there’s a social, linguistic taboo on using the word “mother” in public policy.

the word “father” receives major funding, as well as the word “family” and the word “children” or the word “partner.”

Hence, smaller, and privately-sponsored (or free) sites like “Mothers of Lost Children” or “RightsforMothers” have to sprout up and hope to make a difference.


Meanwhile (while you were sleeping) at least according to PBS, MIT and the Artificial Intelligence groups are trying
to make bipeds, including for military purposes, of course.  No, I’m not nuts (I think!):


People working in  the MIT Leg Laboratory are legged locomotion enthusiasts of all stripes. They represent several disciplines, including electrical engineering, mechanical engineering, computer science, physics, biomechanics, and aero/astro.


Alumni of the MIT Leg Lab:

  • Some LegLab People
  • Marc Raibert founded the Leg Laboratory in 1980 and directed it through 1995. The Lab was originated at CMU when Marc was Associate Professor in Computer Science and the Robotics Institute, and it moved to MIT in 1986 when Marc became Professor of Electrical Engineering and Computer Science and a member of the Artificial Intelligence Lab. He is now president of the company he co-founded, Boston Dynamics, Inc.



Makes me think that this Armageddon may actually come, and soon, whether from divine or purely human destiny. It is against human nature to put nine months into a child, nurse it, and then drop it off for social experimentation and/or the next generation of cannon fodder. I think the powers that be realize this and have a sick need to — yes — use women for incubators (til technology catches up) and make sure that mature mothers don’t get to both protest violence and retain regular contact with their offspring. We can indeed multi-task, and what a waste of time to compartmentalize and streamline every facet of human life for economy and “safety,”and convenience — for whom?

Well, enough for this protest…

Written by Let's Get Honest|She Looks It Up

October 30, 2010 at 5:05 pm

2 Responses

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  1. […] “An Event to End Violence Against Women.” Says Obama—BUT Yeah, well — here’s the FATHERHOOD.GOV/Press Releases “I care about Men, Too” version: In domestic law on November 2, 2010 at 1:45 am Family Court Matters […]

  2. Very thought provoking article. I believe you’re on the right track.


    Surviving an Affair

    November 3, 2010 at 2:09 pm

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