Let's Get Honest! Absolutely Uncommon Analysis of Family & Conciliation Courts' Operations, Practices, & History

Let’s remember, sometimes female judges, psychiatrists, reporters and relatives participate in the hunt:

(#3: Taliban shoot pregnant widow, police report said:

The Taliban publicly flogged and then executed a pregnant Afghan widow by shooting her three times in the head for alleged adultery, police said

Bibi Sanubar, 35, was kept in captivity for three days before she was shot dead in a public trial on Sunday by a local Taliban commander in the Qadis district of the rural western province Badghis.

The Taliban accused Sanubar of having an “illicit affair” that left her pregnant. She was first punished with 200 lashes in public before being shot, deputy provincial police chief Ghulam Mohammad Sayeedi told AFP on Monday.

“She was shot in the head in public while she was still pregnant,” Sayeedi said.

The execution is a grim reminder of the Taliban’s harsh six-year rule from 1996 to 2001 in Afghanistan. The radical Islamists staged public stonings or lashings of those found to have committed adultery or sex outside marriage.

(#2: An Afghan man strangled a mother with her veil, she was becoming “too Australian”

AN Afghan man strangled his wife with her veil after complaining she was “becoming Australian”, a jury has heard.

Mother of five Marzieh Rahimi, who was said to be trying to escape a violent arranged marriage, was killed in front of her baby and toddler.

Soltan Ahmad Azizi, 45, has pleaded not guilty to her murder at their Hampton Park home in November 2007.

The Supreme Court heard yesterday that Ms Rahimi, 33, had told social workers her husband had branded her a slave with no rights.

Prosecutor Peter Rose, SC, told the jury Ms Rahimi had complained her husband punched her and said her only purpose was to have babies and raise children.

Ms Rahimi, who spoke little English and communicated through an interpreter, had told a family violence officer and a health worker that she wanted to leave the marriage, but that she felt powerless, unsupported and fearful

n his opening address, Mr Rose told jurors that when Mr Azizi learned she’d talked to outsiders he told her she was shaming him and must stop.”I’ll kill you because I can’t carry the shame,” he allegedly said when she spoke of separation or divorce.

The jury heard that about a week before his wife’s death, Mr Azizi complained to his sister-in-law that she was “becoming Australian and had changed her religion”.

The cousins wed in an arranged marriage and came to Australia as refugees in 2005. Their eldest children were aged 11, nine and six.

Mr Azizi told police he didn’t plan to kill Ms Rahimi. He said he punched her, then “choked her with her veil”; he then rang 000, telling the operator, “I killed my wife … come see. You come. My kids are only little.”

Police found Ms Rahimi on the floor with her baby, three months, and toddler, 22 months, nearby.

“I’m ready for the handcuffs,” he allegedly told them.

Defence lawyer Stratton Langslow urged the jury to consider whether Ms Rahimi’s claims of domestic violence were prompted by post-natal depression

[HE ADMITTED killing his wife, but did he MEAN to? is the defense, apparently]

#1A. Melinda Stratton, MBA — she was “paranoid“

Missing Australian boy Andrew Thompson found after three years

HAPPIER TIMES: Ken Thompson with his wife Melina and son Andrew.**

Picture: Supplied Source: Supplied

**This is not a picture of two parents with THEIR son (note: she didn’t change her last name, so I didn’t say “Mr. & Mrs. Thompson and their…”). This is not a picture of a son, Andrew with HIS parents Ken Thompson and Melina/Melinda Stratton. This a picture of a man, and HIS (2nd) wife and HIS son. Her role is to give birth, smile, and have a photo caption giving ownership of her to him.

AN Australian boy who went missing almost three years ago has been found in Northern Europe, bringing an end to his father’s desperate search. [And to his mother’s desperate attempt to not be found]

Andrew Thompson was abducted in 2008 by his mother Melinda Stratton after she was diagnosed with a mental disorder. [next article shows a different CAUSAL relationship..]

Ms Stratton began showing the first signs of mental illness in 2006 according to Mr Thompson.

The symptoms were subtle at first, but they progressed, manifesting themselves in paranoia and false beliefs about various people, including Mr Thompson.

“I didn’t realise it at the time, but it started slowly and just escalated, it was terrible,” Mr Thompson said previously.

By December 2007, his wife had been diagnosed by one of Australia’s leading psychiatrists as having a paranoia disorder, and left their family home on January 1.

Under what circumstances? (such as a custody battle, and the father or his attorney, probably called that leading psychiatrist (WHO? Do we get to know? No hyperlink?) in. Or she was showing signs of discontent. Or, there were allegations of . . … …).

By the way, having false beliefs about various people could easily be applied by any religious (or political, or cultural, for that matter) group to members of another. To settle THOSE matters of false belief, however, psychiatrists in this context are not really authorized.

I’ve been at this a while, and pick up on news language. Also, FYI, women and men tend to think differently, have different perspectives and sometimes notice different things. Paranoia MAY be in the eye of the beholder, but if a leading psychiatrist said so — and of course this psychiatrist has no gender bias, and there is no conflict of interest, etc. — then paranoid she must be. About WHAT nothing specific: “false beliefs about various people, including Mr. Thompson.” OK, we’ll have to take that one on faith– this article is after all about him: his search, his emotions, his relief, his account (plus one quote from a friend) and his son, found again.

The drama of his quitting his job and bicycling through Europe is told in this article:

He has cycled through over half a dozen countries in his desperate mission to find his missing son.

A family Friend, Robin Bowles,** told the Sydney Morning Herald, “Ken’s ecstatic, emotional, relieved, overjoyed and still in a total state of shock,” Ms Bowles said.

In such cases, family friends tend to have to take sides. I’d say Robin Bowles was more like Mr. Thompson’s friend. Ms. Stratton’s emotional state was not recounted. Well, she’s paranoid, so her emotional state is not newsworthy.

“It is no secret there were fears for both Melinda’s and Andrew’s safety and the longer time went on, the fear grew deeper within Ken that maybe he’d never see his son again. He wants to see him. He can’t wait a moment longer.”

I can understand that fear. I know it, too.

And of course escalating fears that your wife is mentally ill, to the point of calling in a leading psychiatrist to diagnose one’s wife, doesn’t qualify as paranoia on the part of the husband. Was she cutting herself? Was she threatening suicide? Threatening anything? Neglecting a child? Showing up at work disheveled, or not at all? What, exactly were those symptoms?

Not mentioned in this story — it’ll show up in the next — there WAS a debate of custody, and family court was involved, or about to be. INTERESTING OMISSIONS for such a dramatic rescue.

Mr Thomson has spent every day of the last three and a half months cycling through Europe, looking for his son in a heroic search effort.

WELL, his tenacity, his publicity and cycling (and the fact that the Interpol system helped him) paid off, and he has his son, now. Now, the other side of the story. Well, the part of it that the papers were allowed to print:

#1B. Melinda Stratton — she was “defiant“

Defiant: mother tells why she took her son and ran

Note: this 2009 story carries several links to the found boy. The one above carries no links to why she ran, from her account.

“Melinda Stratton is a woman on the run. In April last year (2008), she fled Australia with her four-year-old son, Andrew, to avoid a custody hearing in Family Court.

Maybe she was paranoid about the nice Family Court..

Ms Stratton – a professional woman from Sydney’s northern suburbs, who has an MBA, speaks French and German, and has lived and worked abroad – has so far managed to dodge the authorities, but yesterday emerged from seclusion to tell her side of the story.

A 10-page letter – the first contact between Ms Stratton and anyone outside her immediate family since last April – was provided to The Australian with no identifying marks. …

Ms Stratton says she had no choice other than to flee Australia, because she had lost faith in the Family Court.

She says the balance of the court – once firmly in favour of granting custody to mothers – had tipped dramatically towards fathers. The Howard government’s regime of “shared parenting” had given power to fathers at the expense of mothers.

“I have lost all faith in any form of justice coming out of Australia,” Ms Stratton says.

“By remaining silent, however, I ensure that they (the Family Court) can continue to treat other mothers and children this way.“

I spent $30,000 on court proceedings. I have been told I will receive harsh penalties as ‘punishment’ for leaving from the Family Court.

“I am in my 40s. My son is only four. His welfare and future are my priority.

“The decision to break all contact with my family and friends, leave my job and our home was not taken lightly.

“I also understand that the Family Court could take my son away from me and give Ken full custody of him, again as punishment.

OK, let’s review the chaotic, surreal, disordered, selfish, thinking of a paranoid mother, who chose to get a 10-page letter to The Australian, and managed to do so without any identifying marks.

She appears to be educated, and was likely working — having spent already $30,000 on court hearings. (That’s a lot in any country). She is concerned for his son’s welfare, but ALSO for other mothers and children being mistreated by the same system. She has ordered her priorities and exhibited empathy for strangers. She, too, (not just her husband) left her job — and home — and family and friends, something he didn’t sacrifice in this.). She also understands the consequences of disobeying a court order, and once she left, knows that failing to STAY gone will mean full custody to the Dad as punishment. . . . . . She also relates a historical shift in the courts to a shift in government. That sounds like someone that’s aware of her surroundings, on several levels, reasons, weighs, and chooses. She has not specified WHAT about her son’s welfare she is concerned about, nor can she:

Ms Stratton has made more serious allegations against Mr Thompson but The Australian is constrained by law from publishing them. She made the allegations in December 2007, left the family home in January last year, and the country in April.

Well, the truth or falsehood of those allegations sure seems to be keey in the case. If true, she fled to prevent harm. If false, she’s paranoid and should be hunted down and locked up. You be the judge. Of course, you don’t have all the facts. Oh well…

You know, different degrees suggest different character traits or strengths. Sounds to me, being an MBA, she assessed the dynamics of the situation, made a strategic decision (although an illegal one) and acted swiftly. That’s a leadership quality. I’m not advocating felony behavior, but she just related her thinking. It does not sound like she is attempting to dodge child support or other criminal accusations against her, other than a belated being diagnosed paranoid by a man she was planning to leave. Judging by the ages, she probably was on her first, not second marriage; he was on his second marriage. Maybe there’s a reason , similar, between both divorces, though of course I wasn’t there. No mention of other children…

The battle between Ms Stratton and Mr Thompson for access to Andrew is complex and bitter.

?? Sounds fairly typical. She alleges something serious and relating to her son’s welfare. He retaliates “you’re paranoid” and gets a leading Australian psychiatrist to diagnose her. That’s as old as Freud. Or Dr. Phyllis Chesler’s “Women and Madness.” A very long time ago, slaves running away was diagnosed as a mental disorder, too. What’s complex is, it went international, and apparently she had enough resources to move fast.

She says he suffers from depression and anxiety. He says he suffered from “mild anxiety” when his first marriage ended 20 years ago.

Well, he’s a fireman, right? That can be challenging. Serious depression is one among several homicide indicators. Bitter is normal in contested divorces. Complex, well, how complex is that?

“It was nothing more than mild anxiety,” he says.

“It was a very difficult time, but it was also a very long time ago.”

I don’t see his age listed, but would say, a bit older, unless he had a VERY short marriage 20 yearsa ago. Also not shown is how long these two were married.

When he launched his campaign to find Andrew, Mr Thompson said that his former wife had a “mental condition”. On his blogs, he says she is “paranoid” and that she may harm Andrew rather than return him to Sydney.

Sorry, buddy, I don’t think the statistc bear out on that one. Dads are the more deadly in this context, than biomoms. Show me the headlines if they aren’t:

When did they divorce? The 2010 shows a happy family photo of all 4 and doesn’t mention “former.”

Ms Stratton says she has “no mental problems whatsoever”.

Mr Thompson strenuously denies his wife’s claims, saying she “made all kinds of allegations … the psychologists have said there is no reason to even investigate them“.

WHICH psychologists is key. . IF abuse happened, long-term consequences can be severe:

What are the possible long-term effects of child sexual abuse?

If child sexual abuse is not effectively treated, long-term symptoms may persist into adulthood. These may include:

• PTSD and/or anxiety
• Sexual anxiety and disorders
• Poor body image and low self-esteem
• The use of unhealthy behaviors, such as alcohol abuse, drug abuse, self-mutilation, or bingeing and purging, to help mask painful emotions related to the abuse

If you were abused as a child and suffer from any of these symptoms, it may help you to get help from a mental-health professional who has expertise in working with people who have been sexually abused.

AND, from a *.uk site, “The Royal College of Psychiatrists,” talking about, if it’s by a close caretaker, how it can be hard to detect:</spa

It can be hard to detect long-standing abuse by an adult the child is close to. It is often very difficult for the child to tell anyone about it, as the abuser may have threatened to hurt them if they tell anybody. A child may not say anything because they think it is their fault, that no one will believe them or that they will be teased or punished. The child may even love the abusing adult, they want the abuse to stop, but they don’t want the adult to go to prison or for the family to break up.

If you suspect that a child is being abused, you may be able to help them to talk about it. Your local Social Services Child Protection Adviser will be able to offer more detailed advice.

Where can I get help?

First and foremost, the child must be protected from further abuse. Social Services will need to be involved to find out:

• what has happened
• if it is likely to happen again
• what steps are needed to protect the child

Ms Stratton says the court psychologist is biased against mothers. She points to papers presented by Family Court practitioners in which they say that mothers can make up allegations of abuse and that children can be manipulated by their mothers to say they have been abused.

The identity of the psychologist is protected by the Family Law Act (1975).

Well, guess we’ll never know, at least for a while:

HERE’s a Supportive U.S. post (2009, before she was caught) from RandiJames.com, citing a press release from an Australian site:

Melinda Stratton and other Mothers on the Run

I fully support the following from Anonymums:

Press Release

RE: Melinda Stratton and other Mothers on the Run

As a spokesperson for Anonymums, we understand that the Family Court does not investigate child protection matters and during the proceedings if there is no history of child protection involvement, there are no investigations that are likely to ensure the protection of children involved in proceedings. The matters of Arthur Freeman, Robert Farquharson and Jayson Dalton are just a handful of reported cases that reveals the amounting negligence that the Family Court has in regards to children’s rights. The laws particularly the Shared parenting bill based on United States joint custody laws, prioritize parent’s rights above children’s rights. Children don’t have a say and are often punished by the court if they speak out against child abuse often portrayed as “alienated children”. We are aware that these measures are in violation of human rights and until the court adequately provides protection for child abuse victims and domestic violence victims, we fully support the plights of protective mothers who are often alone in gathering the evidence and ignored by the court. We believe Melinda Stratton based on her extraordinary lengths, the statements that support Melinda’s mothering concerns towards her child that despite the law that is against a higher law(human rights), she is doing the best she can for the child. We believe that the system is incorrect and abusive towards both the mother and the child by barring her from vital services to provide for the child(Article 14) and hunting her down like an animal. It is the system itself that is at fault for failing to protect children and women in the first place regardless of the institution or reason. There are more protections for murderers and pedophiles than there are for these children. We recommend that instead of Melinda coming forward to be jailed and barred from seeing her child that the system endeavors to investigate further into these allegations instead of laying the sole burden upon the mother. We recommend that the order that seeks her out be withdrawn until the system can adequately provide proper protections for Children. Until this takes place, we support the mother in obtaining alternative safety measures.

Related Posts :

Finding a lost boy should be an occasion for joy, but this was not necessarily the result that anyone wanted: not Ken Thompson, not his estranged wife Melinda, and certainly not their six-year-old boy Andrew. Since Melinda Stratton disappeared 2½ years ago and [father Ken] Thompson began a campaign to find her, the South Australian child protection expert Professor Freda Briggs has spoken to both parents about Andrew’s abduction, and how it might end.

Thompson, a former NSW deputy fire chief who has spent the entire time searching for his son, had assured her he did not want a climax involving foreign police, child protection officers and sudden, possibly violent, intervention.

As for Stratton, ”she rang me from Frankfurt and didn’t know anything about the Hague Convention and my advice to her was ‘come back because if you are caught the effect on your child will be devastating’,” Briggs said. ”But she obviously ignored me.‘

In the past 48 hours, since a Dutch school principal noticed Andrew’s expired passport and reported it to police, Briggs has watched as the case unravelled in the dreaded fashion, with all parties powerless to prevent it.

{{??? In any scenario whatsoever, including things so severe as floods, earthquakes, or oil spills, there is power, and an opposing power somewhere historically, and in the present moment. RARELY are “all parties” powerless, and almost never “equally” powerless. }}

Andrew’s mother is now arrested and he is with foster carers who may not even speak his language. ”If it follows the usual pattern, he will be sent back here accompanied by strangers without a stopover. Previous children [in this situation] have reportedly cried all the way home. He will probably be placed in foster care here until the judge makes a decision about where he will live,” Briggs said.

Let’s Get Honest commentary on the condition of this post:

3 is a Taliban situation, 2 is an Afghan in Australia situation, and #1 is how Aussie/Europeans like to persecute women perceived as uppity, immoral, or protesting something.

And when international marriages (and economy) are involved, we have to DEAL with the issue of Sharia law influencing Christian Theocracy (cf. “Tea Party”) claiming to represent the “founding fathers” when it doesn’t. Which I know because, again, I’ve done some homework. There are different strands within “Christianity” as there are within Islam. I cannot speak for Judaism as experientially; but I do know that the offshoot/now mainstream religions perceive themselves as heroes and protecting the “good” values of past centuries, failing to distinguish the impact on their own lives, and husbands, wives, children, relatives, friends, and colleagues.