Archive for April 6th, 2010
A Child Survivor of Child Abduction, incl. re: Parental Alienation
Someone commented on my post:
Arresting Moms, at Least for Felony Child-Stealing
Which asks why California Penal Code 278.5 isn’t (it seems) gender-neutral, and common “reasons” for abducting a child, two of which fall under (at least according to the data base referenced) either “Family Violence” or “Child Trafficking,” both of them very uncomfortable topics, obviously, and both of them pulling immense funding and many agencies to handle. YET, they continue, and continue, wrecking lives, for sure.
Regarding the “Parental Alienation” argument, many oppose it because of it being junk science, and I oppose that argument because I oppose psychologizing what is probably a normal reaction from a child — again, it could be Stockholm Syndrome, or self-preservation, too. It is a simple derailing of the conversation from CAUSE to EFFECT.
SO, here is a page from an adult survivor of one of the earliest (1980-1983) prosecuted interstate abduction cases. I don’t yet know HOW he and siblings were retrieved, but the site speaks about the impact — and not just during childhood — this had on him.
I do not know that “abuse” (other than the child-abduction, which IS abuse per se, let alone any others) enters into his case. I have not read his entire site or the book yet.
This talks about the impact of the experience, far into adulthood.
Reader feedback solicited — not namecalling, but feedback. I believe this is within copyright limits, and have linked to the site…
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Ken Connelly is the author of “Throwing Stones; Parental Child Abduction through the Eyes of a Child”, and the first book in the “Finding Home” series. Mr. Connelly was kidnapped on October 10, 1980 in Orange, California, and recovered on December 5, 1983 in the small town of Bastrop, Texas.
Ken began writing in 1985, while attending middle school. He continued writing poetry, music and short stories through his adult life. Ken wrote his first unpublished book, “The Seven Keys of Aráganoth” in high school. Ken continued to write short stories and poems through his life as a way to relate his emotions and creativity to the outside world. Writing has been one of two grounding forces through the years for him. Ken has written as a freelance photojournalist and for his university paper.
Ken tried for years to bury his childhood past. Finally in 2006, on the eve of the twenty-fifth anniversary of his childhood abduction he began asking questions and openly challenging his family’s view to just leave it alone. Shocked with the fact that nothing significant had changed since his recovery, he decided to act.
Understanding the importance of his case, Ken started speaking, and soon found his love of writing to be his greatest tool for making change. Ken opened up to the world his long cherished spiral notebook, “Lyrics from the Edge”. This collection of poems, songs and intimate thoughts span the past twenty eight years of his life. His goal was to write about his years stolen, and have it published by the symbolic twenty-fifth anniversary of his recovery.
Ken’ decision to put into print the first Child Stealing/Parental Child Abduction case to result in a felony conviction across interstate jurisdictions has come with a cost. Ken has had anonymous threats and nearly a complete loss of family relationships due to his efforts to take this dirty and often quiet crime to the public forum. Speaking and writing was not easy, but after two decades of having thousands of innocent voices silenced, Ken knew he needed to be that voice.Long hours awake trying to relive the dark memories he spent a lifetime burying came back to him like the tides of an ocean. During the research phase of his book, Ken discovered that if he could accurately tell his story, not as the adult, but as the child, he could draw the reader in. Using the first person point of view, Ken has found a unique voice seldom discovered in nonfiction. Ken carries the reader through a dark journey all the while letting the reader feel as though they are reading a twisted fictional childhood story.
Often as parents and professionals we overlook the child’s feelings while making our case as an adult and parent over pre and post abduction. Unlike stranger abduction, parental kidnapping destroys a child’s basic trust foundation, the family. Ken successfully shows how Parental Child Abduction/Kidnapping leads to Parental Alienation. Many parents who have abducted their children rely on misleading arguments against Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), or that the child is unaware, and settled in their new environment. This argument is absolutely false and is only a red herring to make their action legal and legitimate. For the first time a victim of this crime has come forward to speak.
Mr. Connelly was kidnapped at the age of seven and recovered three years later at the age of eleven. Throwing Stones is the first book written from the unique child’s point of view. Regardless of domestic, or international parental child abduction cases, this video will help the viewer understand the confusion and mistrust a child experiences during this type of crime.
Ken Connelly was born in Orange County, California. He currently lives in Dallas, Texas.
ANY EMPHASES ABOVE ARE MINE…
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