Let's Get Honest! Absolutely Uncommon Analysis of Family & Conciliation Courts' Operations, Practices, & History

While I’m on the theme of “scam artists,” and the concept of Conciliation Court (mediation, etc.) being inappropriate for certain situations, particularly where domestic violence or child abuse has already been involved, let me share with you what I found entering a certain California Law Library.

This was on a brochure about “Divorce and Family Law Related Info on the Web,” and under “California Family Law Institute” , which is described as “divorce information from a man’s perspective selling legal services and videotapes.”  Look at this man’s resume (He’s also been in the Marine Corps 1959-64, was voted “United Fathers, Custody Litigator of the Year”

(of course in the title, it’s a FAMILY institute, right, it’s for the KIDS, really). 

He was:

“First CA attorney to file suit against an abducting parent under Penal Code 278.5, for $2.5 Million (1985)”

(For those new to this blog, that’s one that I couldn’t get law enforcement, DA, or anyone to do squat about when my own children were stolen, elements involved totally matched that law.  I was focused beforehand on PREVENTING their abduction, and only found the law too late, after the fact.  When I did, I was shouted at for attempting to bring it up in one jurisdiction, and brushed aside in the other.  Here’s a man that not only got it to work but also got someone paid $2.5 million in damages (presumably).)

For those of us who may be all hot and excited about the latest commission, task force, audit, or committee who are going to be nice and fix all the problems for us, I recommend read this person’s resume for a sample, as well as (as I recommend) the AFCC presenter’s bios.  It’s WAR.  A lot of firepower is involved, and anyone who says it’s about just conflict, or miscommunication, or failure of judges to understand, is probably PART of the scam, wittingly or unwittingly — as to results, it hardly matters.  You just got punked if you don’t know what the family law system does, or is about.  Period.

I have been, so I talk.  No one likes being in that position, and since I can no longer contribute in the creative manner which I formally, normally did, this is my contribution to the general public.  Get smart, get on your dang internet, and figure things out!

There was no corresponding site on this particular law library referral (that had a few dozen links on it) that presented “the woman’s perspective” at all.  At least they were honest about “California Family Institute.”

Point 2:

Selling information is generally good business, no matter what the information is, almost. . . . .   As we are all so ignorant these days, lots of experts are needed to survive major aspects of life, and certainly one of those is a divorce.  Right?    Single mothers should master this art.  (Some day, I may).  Your time is not your own til they turn 18 — ALL Of them — and that’s whether you do, or whether you do not, retain or have custody;  so there has to be a better way… (for more on that topic see http:// self-represented fool.org).

SO, it’s about reconciliation, mediation, and why can’t we all get along?  That’s the message flowing through the family law system.  Well, here’s the message men are getting, at least in some circles.  It’s more honest, and I’ve found it explains things clearly, and in more detail — both the legal process and what’s up. 

Picture a woman with kids leaving an abusive marriage through a nonprofit agency that just sent her to a shelter, or to support groups, actually being TOLD this valuable information…  Typically, she’s not… If she had been, she might have evened the odds a little earlier in the game.

I have talked with fathers (don’t worry, I won’t name you…) bench-talking about how they coach and “work” the mediator or custody evaluator to their line of thinking, and who can help them do it.  It’s like a strategic warfare.  I wanted to leave the room when I sat around that venom (but didn’t). ..   Women, on the other hand, are told the usual line of _ _ _ _   :   to go seek help and HOPE.  Sure, that’s a plan for a life and death struggle for kids, goods, safety, and permission to leave a controlling situation….

While they coach and train women to submit and get along (no matter what), here’s what men are being told. 

This November 2009 article is of course better viewed on the original site.  I don’t appreciate giving MORE free publicity — I had to go do my own research on legal basics, and domestic violence issues both– but I think we should realize what’s up:

(from below):

Don’t plan on winning a divorce war with only superior people.  

You need to plan on winning it with superior organization and superior strategy while delivering the case to the judicial officer in better condition and in more organized fashion than the opposing counsel. 

Some of the most successful divorce lawyers in the country limit their caseload to ten or twenty divorces and charge a great deal of money for managing those ten or twenty divorce cases. 

{{AND one facet of abuse is economic.  So go figure….}}

DIVORCE IS WAR By: Michael Kelly, Santa Monica, California, November 2009 In writings covering more than a thousand years, both Sun Tzu and Carl Von Clausewitz have taught the principles and strategies necessary to win conflicts. Divorce is most definitely a conflict. There is no legal confrontation in America today with more at stake for the individual participants than a divorce. Some of the things that are at stake are as follows: 1) The children: Who gets primary custody of them, how much support do they receive, what are the visitation periods, what state or county will they live in, what school will they be educated in, what will their religion be, etc. 2) The family residence: Who gets it, is it sold, what is its evaluation, can the operating spouse afford to buy it? 3) The family business: Who gets it, what is its value and should it be sold? 4) The pension: Should it be divided now, who gets it and what is its value? 5) Spousal support: Who gets it, how much will it be, how long will it last, can the person receiving it be forced to work to reduce the amount that is received. Can the person paying support have a life also? Any person who thinks that these items are not the most hotly contested issues in a human being’s life should visit a California divorce court for one day and experience the anger, fear and intensity that fill the courtroom and halls. Divorce is not for the weak of heart, the inexperienced, the unorganized or the single practitioner. CARL VON CLAUSEWITZ Carl Von Clausewitz wrote a book entitled, “On War” 150 years ago. This book written in 1832 outlines the same strategic principles behind all successful lawyers and litigation concepts. Carl Von Clausewitz had keen insights on war. His ideas and principles have lasted more than 160 years. West Point, Sandhurst and numerous other war colleges around the world teach “his ideas”. Carl Von Clausewitz stated that war is based on two characteristics; tactics and strategies. Think for a moment if divorce was actually a war. One of the main things that must come out of a legal case memorandum (“battle plan”) will be observations (such as a list of the weaknesses and strengths of opposing counsel). Successful legal case memorandum and strategies must be planned exactly like a military campaign. Los Angeles divorce lawyers will have to learn how to attack and flank their opposition and how to defend their own positions, how and when to wage conventional warfare or switch to guerilla warfare. They will need superior research and intelligence to anticipate opposing counsel’s and opposing spouse’s moves. The true nature of divorce involves a conflict between competing primal interests of human beings. Who gets the house? Who gets the children? How much money to whom? “WHY VIEW DIVORCE AS PERSONAL CONFLICT AND WARFARE?” Some psychologists and some judicial officers will object to the application of military warfare principles to the divorce process. “It is horrible enough,” people have told us, “without extending the principles of warfare to it.” If you are of the that particular frame of mind I urge you to consider the results of the warfare principle rather than the principle itself. In observing thousands of divorces cases in the past four decades I suggest that many of the disastrous financial and psychological losses registered in divorces might have been avoided by the applications of the principles of war. The study of warfare in divorce is not just the study of how to win, it is absolutely just as important to study how not to lose a divorce. Divorce is legal warfare. If you are forced to be in divorce, it makes some significant sense to learn the principles first. THE PRINCIPLE OF FORCE “KEEP THE FORCES CONCENTRATED IN AN OVER POWERING MASS, THE FUNDAMENTAL IDEA IS ALWAYS TO BE AIMED AT AND FOR ALL AND AS FAR AS POSSIBLE.” In divorce, never forget what Von Clausewitz calls “the principle of force”. The victory usually belongs to the side with more men. “As God”, Napoleon Bonaparte is believed to have said, “is on the side of the big battalions”. The second significant principle of warfare espoused by Von Clausewitz is the “superiority of the defense.” A defensive position, carefully thought out, and strategize, is very strong and very difficult to overcome. When you examine it no other principle of life and warfare is as fundamental as the principle of force. The law of the jungle dictates that the predator eats the prey and so on… The larger predator eats the smaller prey … And so on down the food chain. The larger fish eat the smaller fish. The big company beats the small company, and, in divorce, most often the well organized large divorce firm beats the single lawyer.

Well folks, that’s all for today.  I gave you the link, now it’s up to you to think!