Let's Get Honest! Absolutely Uncommon Analysis of Family & Conciliation Courts' Operations, Practices, & History

Identify the Entities, Find the Funding, Talk Sense!

Case in Point: Where CPS gets its kids from…

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Inbetween documenting HOW these systems work on my website, up come these stories illustrating it perfectly — if you pay attention to the language.

In which we see where Child Protective Services gets some of its clients…

Two siblings were in room when 10-year-old died 12:57 AM CST on Saturday, January 9, 2010

By Donna Fielder / Staff Writer

An Oak Point man accused of shooting to death his young daughter on Christmas Eve is free on bail,

Well, at least she’s “free” from future abuse, and one less mouth to feed.  She was PERMANENTLY deprived of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, and for WHAT social agenda? ???


but a court order issued Thursday continues to forbid him access to the two of his other children who were in the house that night.   {{How VERY perceptive of that court order, if not of the one granting him custody and putting MOM (see below) on “supervised visitation.”….}}

Let me translate.  Last I was in elementary or high school, a passing grade was around 75% or 70%.  The courts (judges, system, whatnot) in THIS case by my reckoning managed to preserve a live 2 out of 3 children, which means only 66%.  In MY book, that’s a flunking grade.


Duke Lawrence Watrous, 36, was released on $100,000 bail Dec. 30 after a judge agreed to reduce bail from the original $200,000 set when he was arraigned on the charge. He also was charged with endangering a child and tampering with evidence.

But on Thursday a judge agreed with Child Protective Services lawyers that he should not have access to the children {ya THINK??}} and that his former wife Brandy Michelle Washburn-Rives should have only supervised visitation with them at CPS headquarters. She recently lost custody of the children, and they lived with him.

“Students” (Pardon me, blog visitors) pay attention to the linguistics of this.  “She recently lost custody and they lived with him” is typical phraseology. 

Re:  “She Recently Lost Custody and They Lived with Him”

Well, that’s fairly obvious. What’s being hidden?  HOW and WHY this happened.

In grammar, the SUBJECT of the sentence is responsible for the action of the sentence, even if the verb is in passive. 

So, from what I can tell, it was HER and THEIR fault that a sister was killed.  Not a judge’s mis-reading of the situation, or perhaps  that CPS was down some kids these days in Texas (which I sincerely doubt is the case).

This reporter has the phrasing of “we are not responsible” down pat — perhaps just imbibed it from the atmosphere (though I thank HER for getting the story out)… of, it’s best NOT to point the fingers at such an august institution as, say, the courts and the judiciary, or Child Protective Services….

Wouldn’t that be an interesting case to look up.  Want to bet she was another mother protesting something?  Or reporting something?

Do mothers EVER retain custody of their kids these days in the courts? 

The judge’s order specifically restricts either parent from entering school property at the schools the children attend.

Question:  The same judge that took custody from the mother?

The records state that a suitable relative has not been found to place the children with and that they will remain in foster care. Both parents previously had been investigated by CPS workers in Texas and in Oklahoma.

“We’re pleased that the judge followed the request of CPS, our client,” said First Assistant District Attorney Jamie Beck. “And we will support that as long as this investigation is ongoing, at the minimum. The two surviving children need to be protected.”

According to court records, Watrous had been drinking beer and was recklessly handling a handgun when it discharged with 10-year-old Ashley, her 9-year-old brother and 1-year-old sister in the room. The large-caliber bullet struck Ashley in the head, and the boy called 911.

Apparently the father was in shock, or thinking about where to hide the evidence?

Paramedics tried to save the girl but were not able to resuscitate her. Watrous was charged with manslaughter on Christmas Day and with tampering with evidence and endangerment to a child a few days later. Those charges related to the other children being in the room when the gun discharged and the allegation that he hid the gun in a locked safe after firing it. The Department of Family and Protective Services took the children from the home that night on an emergency order.

Those children are now, officially (might as well be) orphans.  Their lives will never be the same.

On Thursday, the department, acting through the Denton County District Attorney’s Office, asked District Judge Jake Collier to continue the temporary order in light of lawyers’ requests for both parents asking that they be allowed to have them.

Dad accidentally kills a daughter, showing clear negligence, child endangerment etc. (again folks, this is ALLEGED).  Naturally, being a father, he wants to comfort the 2 remaining ones (9 yr old boy and 1 yr old girl).  What with the trauma, the traumatic bonding should result in a very close relationship, I imagine.

This wonderful man has been married twice, at age 36, and was “accused” (did any charges stick) by a former wife of abuse of her and the children.  (Note: abusing a mother in front of her children is a form of child abuse and poor role models.  No matter.   He found another woman and made some more kids, divorced her, got those kids, and WHOOPS!  Here we are in the news….

Picture this>  RECENTLY, you, a mother, lost custody of your children to a former husband.  SOON after this happens, your oldest daughter, through negligence plus (excess alcohol), DIES.  But the court has judged you unworthy of housing your own children. 

PERHAPS you might wish the court to acknowledge its screwup (someone died, OK?) and get your two remaining offspring (from this man at least) back, and protect them a little better than what Dad did.  However, CPS had already nailed you, AND him, on something previously (no, I don’t know the history of this case), and thus your name is permanently disgraced, in this system.  However, although BOTH of you were discredited, it was Dad who got the kids.

Neither parent appeared in court that day but both were represented by attorneys. Neither could be reached for comment for this story.

Court records show that Watrous was arrested on a charge of injury to a child in April but subsequently was no-billed by a grand jury. That stemmed from an allegation from CPS that he had physically abused another of his children who lived with his mother but who visited Watrous.

Watrous had two additional children from a prior marriage, according to court records. He had restricted visitation with those children. His former wife Aude Freeman accused him of physically abusing her and their children.

And there you have in a nutshell the history of where Big Brother [[it was a LITTLE (younger) brother who called 911]] , Fatherhood advocates blaming society’s ills on fatherlessness (and “female-headed households”), and a grants system discrediting mothers for knowing what the _____ they are talking about when they say “watch out!” ends up in.    In this case, manslaughter, and two kids in foster care. 

And of course more business for the supervised visitation business.

This is indeed why people are simply not respecting the courts, the legal process, or indeed the laws any more. 

DONNA FIELDER can be reached at 940-566-6885. Her e-mail address is dfielder@dentonrc.com.



I’d like to recommend this book:

Transforming Abuse by K. Louise Schmidt: Book Cover

Transforming Abuse: Nonviolent Resistance and Recovery

by K. Louise Schmidt, Karen L. Schmidt, Ellen Bass


4 copies from $1.99


It is possible to overcome and use what we have learned in abuse into something better in life.  For example, Oprah Winfrey, case in point (her story was on TV recently).  She described a split family, being shunted back and forth (now, this is done forcibly through the courts), and her mother rooming with a cousin, who had a boyfriend, who molested her and beat on the cousin.  Oprah says she bargained — selling HERSELF — to this batterer to refrain from beating on the cousin by having sex with her.  And that she blamed herself for this until her 40s.  She got raped at age 9 (by whom, was not said in this interview).

I was hearing this, and thinking about how would a single black mother support herself in those days, without having some help, for example, a roommate…    She went back to her father who, thankfully, was more honorable, and helped get her straightened out. …  Before this, she had been out of control and promiscuous as a teenager.

Reminds me for sure of this:


Are you guys getting tired of this link yet?  I frequently refer to it. 

Think about this:  HOW much of society’s trauma might be stopped if we, as a culture, actually faced the fact that a whole DAMN lot of child-rape goes on and is endorsed by the bystanders and families and schools, and pastors, rabbis, imams, and therapists, too. 

Think I’m kidding?

Here’s TODAY’s New York Times, “National Briefing” (page A11, under Mid-Atlantic — and it’s the ONLY item under Mid-Atlantic Region):

“Delaware:  Review Ordered in Doctor’s Case”

(formal, non-emotional language for THIS):

Gov. Jack Markell said he woudl order an independent review of the handling of investigations involving Dr. Earl B. Bradley, a pediatrician suspected of sexually abusing more than 100 patients.  Dr. Bradley, 56, was the subject or plice investigations in 2005 and 2008, but the state’s medical licensing board (!!!) says it was never notified until his arrest last month.  The police say they tried to file a complaint with the board in 2005 and were turned away.

Arrest of a Pediatrician Followed Years of Complaints

Published: January 7, 2010

The Delaware pediatrician who prosecutors say may have molested more than 100 patients showed a pattern of inappropriate touching that led to multiple complaints from patients and co-workers, according to court documents released this week.

. . .

Starting in 2005, police investigators received complaints about the pediatrician, Dr. Earl B. Bradley, of Lewes, Del., from eight patients accusing him of abuse as far back as 1999. At least one complaint was sent to a state medical group, but no action was taken to suspend Dr. Bradley’s license and he was not charged, according to the documents.

Dr. Bradley, 56, was charged in December with 32 criminal counts relating to the rapes of at least seven girls, ages 3 months to 13 years. At the time, the authorities said they had received multiple complaints about the doctor roughly a year ago.

But the new documents, which include the accounts of three doctors and a nurse, indicate that concerns were raised far earlier.

In the spring of 2005, the Milford police tried to charge Dr. Bradley with offensive touching after a 3-year-old patient told her parents about his kissing her too much in at least one office visit.

No arrest was made, the Milford police said, because officials in the office of then-Attorney General M. Jane Brady decided they could not win the case, according to the documents, which were first obtained by The News Journal of Wilmington, Del.

A former office manager for Dr. Bradley told investigators in April 2005 that she filed a complaint earlier that year with the Medical Society of Delaware, which is a professional organization that does not license doctors. But officials at the society, as well as at the Delaware Board of Medical Practice, which grants doctors’ licenses, said they never received any complaints from patients or alerts from the police about Dr. Bradley.

State law requires medical professionals to report anyone suspected of engaging in unprofessional behavior.


Please do me a favor.  Read this VERY uncomfortable post, and think about how even that 3 year old KNEW what inappropriate was and wasn’t. 

She didn’t know, like we now do, what a steep road it is to prosecute abuse, how the mandated reporters in most categories, don’t, and how licensing boards which OUGHT to do the right thing, also don’t.  MOST people are interested in how to pass the buck.

After enough generations (this is one of my theories), society itself is so drugged, immune, seeking to NOT address its core issues of a basic lack of love and concern for each other, the collective conscience hasn’t developed too many responses except:

1.  Starting another nonprofit to fix the problem.

2. Various forms of self-medication.

3. Protection of one’s own identity (and responsibility) by victim-blaming and passing the buck.

4.   Basically, just pretending it didn’t occur.  The DOWNSIDE of this “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” is that the soul goes numb, and down it goes, another generation.  Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

5.  This is why I really question placing children with relatives when abuse has occurred (either child or spousal) — where were they when that abuse was happening to start with?

6.  Dissociation.  Compartmentalization of one’s conscience to survive.

7.  Tribalization, and all kinds of linguistic tricks to NOT talk about the truth honestly.

That’s just off the top of my head.  What I liked about “Transforming Abuse” (not ALL of its premises that I accept) were the chapters talking about witnessing our stories, versus Quarantining.

In the Social Sciences field (FYI), this type of quarantining is also frequent.  As I hoped to illustrate in that AFCC Conference page (which would be a good page to study both personnel AND language used) — the “experts” have literally quarantined themselves off from the ugly, nasty, street-level direct input from those experiencing the trouble. 

 They (YES, I said “they” even though I have by some miracle been able to attend or sit in on some conferences, in person and by web) speak about our blood, mud, begging realities (which don’t confine themselves to an “awareness” month) in sanitized situations and in sanitized terms.

There are too many parallels with the sanitary circumlocuation of the Nazi’s and the Holocaust.  Or any other genocide.  ALWAYS watch the language.  It’s key.

Last quote for today — and you are welcome for a shorter post… —

George Orwell, “Politics and the English Language,” 1946

Most people who bother with the matter at all would admit that the English language is in a bad way, but it is generally assumed that we cannot by conscious action do anything about it. Our civilization is decadent and our language — so the argument runs — must inevitably share in the general collapse. It follows that any struggle against the abuse of language is a sentimental archaism, like preferring candles to electric light or hansom cabs to aeroplanes. Underneath this lies the half-conscious belief that language is a natural growth and not an instrument which we shape for our own purposes.

. . . .

Now that I have made this catalogue of swindles and perversions, let me give another example of the kind of writing that they lead to. This time it must of its nature be an imaginary one. I am going to translate a passage of good English into modern English of the worst sort. Here is a well-known verse from Ecclesiastes:

I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

(so much for the cult of predictability, experts, and social engineering…)

Here it is in modern English:

Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena compel the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must invariably be taken into accoun

Now, it is clear that the decline of a language must ultimately have political and economic causes: it is not due simply to the bad influence of this or that individual writer.


But an effect can become a cause, reinforcing the original cause and producing the same effect in an intensified form, and so on indefinitely. A man may take to drink because he feels himself to be a failure, and then fail all the more completely because he drinks. It is rather the same thing that is happening to the English language. It becomes ugly and inaccurate because our thoughts are foolish, but the slovenliness of our language makes it easier for us to have foolish thoughts.


Yet to come — I should just get honest and do this:  A blog viewing these social issues (family court matters, etc.) in light of the language of the Bible.

For example, the first woman-blamer was Adam.  (God:  Where are you?  Adam:  I hid.  God:  Did you eat of that fruit I told you not to?  Adam:  THE WOMAN  YOU gave me, er, ah. . . . . . and, (hopefully having distracted God by the time he gets to his confession), I ate of it.)

It was a YES/No question.

Ideally, we should be able to fluently speak a variety of languages, including metaphorical, religious, and political.  Unfortunately, there are political forces that feel this is economically not expedient, and wish to unify an entire culture under one paradigm, while saying they are actually tolerant.

Best to read the eccentrics and outcasts, I say — might at least learn something.

For example, (United States public educational system.  Is there anyone left YET who doesn’t know what influence teachers’ unions have with state governors?).

ART is a metaphor for life.  Funny thing how the arts are really suffering in this school system, and are shelved for focus on “core” subjects.  Result?  More gangs, and still falling behind in those core subjects too.   more arts and less other stuff MIGHT just lead to children being actually heard as individuals, and LESS violence.  Just perhaps. ….

The real message is the values system in there, which is essentially, herd mentality and survival of the fittest.  Authoritarianism, and not much free time left for the average student, or parent.

Note:  Due to limited Internet access these days, I don’t typically respond to comments or pingbacks, I’ll approve a comment but don’t have time for the pingbacks.  If your comment appears to be an attempt to market your site for an unrelated theme, I won’t bother to approve it either.  I also am a poor tagger (don’t take the time to label my own posts).

Have a nice day, and may your family and personal budgets balance.   Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but Truth is that which doesn’t change so substantially generation after generation, like Ecclesiastes (above) says.

Sometimes parables and stories can get closer to truth than “analysis,” which often times is just pure obfuscation.

Also, EDUCATION is obtained, and as to “schooling,” well, fishes (those closer to the bottom of the food chain) run in SCHOOLS.  Think about it.  There is a difference between SCHOOLING and obtaining self-discipline for a cause one deems worthy or a meaningful goals.

Failure is often a better teacher than success for those who have a will to learn and keep it up a lifetime….Like authors accumulationg rejection slips, be sure to accumulate a series of “failures” in life in order to actually learn something.  Thomas Edison did…. 

We should spend less time grilling kids to fear failure than to love learning.  They should love SOMETHING worthwhile.    The headlines in (California) are still blaming the parents.  Give me a break! The bulk of my country are graduates of this school system, any more (i’d guess).  So to blame parents, in one sense, is in effect to blame onesself, when that blame is coming from “educators.”

Like the above pediatrician, some people come to education (and religion) to serve, and others for the unmonitored access to vulnerable youngsters.  It’s time we faced this.





Written by Let's Get Honest|She Looks It Up

January 9, 2010 at 5:16 pm

One Response

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    {{reply: Who wants to know? . .. No, really, I don’t have the answer to that one. I bet you could find out, though…Keep asking/looking. Most of what’s on this blog, I found out by searching, reading, googling, clicking, calling, asking, and so forth. Of course, I then compared it with experiences, and experiences of people I also knew. Are you 17, Yama?}}

    yama martinez

    August 9, 2010 at 4:28 pm

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