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June 21st was Father’s Day. In May was Mothers’ day. In April, it was the next two holidays, and the other ones below
are of older origins.
Father’s Day,
Mother’s Day,
Domestic Violence Awareness Month,
Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month,
Ramadan,
Yom Kippur,
Christmas,
New Year’s,
Easter
“9/11”
If it saved even TWO lives, would you give up the “Days”?
Even if you worked at Hallmark cards, a flower shop, or a newspaper?
Now, I realize that all religions require sacrifice, sometimes (often?) entailing blood, sometimes human, often children.
But perhaps we could simplify, and get it down, nationally at least (or internationally?) to the long-standing world religions, and for good measure, “Bill of Rights” Day in the U.S., with particular emphasis on Amendments I and II, which entails that the Government shall protect our right not to believe in any god, or as a nation worship one, or have our money — our offspring– poured out at its altar.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.
I am beginning to think that part of every young person’s education should be memorization, by rote, of these amendments, and training in self-defense, by arms, not just karate. A karate kick doesn’t stop a bullet.
Discussion continued, AFTER you take a good look at two children murdered by their father (along with himself, a.k.a. suicide) last year for this reason: His (younger) wife dared to leave him, in May, and he wasn’t going to have them on Father’s Day, in June:
Twisted dad Brian Philcox – who murdered his two young children because he couldn’t see them on Father’s Day – planned a “spectacular few days of destruction” from beyond the grave.
He drove Amy, seven, and three-year-old Owen to a country lane, attached a hosepipe to the exhaust, fed it through the window and left the engine on.
All three died huddled in the back of his Land Rover at a North Wales beauty spot last June.
It was just the start of a day of horror that evil 52-year-old Philcox had carefully planned.
He had booby-trapped his home in Runcorn, Cheshire, in an attempt to kill his estranged wife Lyn McAuliffe.
And he sent a parcel bomb to her son Ryan, 18. Fortunately, none of the devices exploded.
Speaking for the first time since the tragedy, Lyn, 37, said: “He had planned the whole thing for a spectacular few days of destruction. He wanted to blow me up in his house before murdering his own children.
“He also sent a bomb in the post to my son Ryan. He planned for it to arrive the day after Father’s Day, when me, the kids and Brian should already have been dead.
Those are the children above. I’m a little unclear on when it might be “lawful” to kill children — on what grounds, self-defense?
Mr Philcox had collected the children from their home in Runcorn, Cheshire in an arranged access visit last June {{2008}} the inquest heard. // But after drugging them with chloroform from a padded envelope, he attached a vacuum cleaner pipe to the exhaust of his Land Rover in an isolated spot near Llanrwst in north Wale. //
The trio were found dead, poisoned by carbon monoxide fumes, sitting next to each other on the back seat of Mr Philcox’s car on Father’s Day.
The 52-year-old karate expert had separated from his wife in May 2008 after eight years of marriage.
The children’s mother, Lyn McAuliffe, 38, from Runcorn, Cheshire, wept as details of the deaths were read.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A typical court order, at least over here (US), will say: Children to be with their Father on Father’s Day, Mother on Mother’s Day, and then will specify the usual holidays — geared typically to the school year, which itself is generally arranged around (oddly enough) major Christian holidays, although Christianity, if not talk of “God” (as if real) is out of favor in many educational systems these days.
In my case, zero of these were enforced for the past almost 3 full years. The last time I attempted to stick up for this, there was retaliation. NONE of the “Shared Parenting” advocates seem too bothered when mothers, as opposed to fathers, are not seeing their children — sometimes removed on grounds of “Parental Alienation” (a.k.a., reporting child sexual abuse, or some other criminal behavior. In my case the criminal offence, I gather, was expecting, and saying openly, to everyone involved (including agencies) that I expected my ex- to be held accountable to obey all court orders, like I was. And to work, like I was…..”
WHY I DIDN”T POST ON FATHER’S DAY:
For one, grief. This news article came across my inbox, and others.
I am a mother. I was unable to see my own daughters on Mother’s Day in: 2005, 2006, and 2007. I did not make plans to blow anyone up or get vengeance. I had a hard time, I’ll admit this Father’s Day — especially that now I’ve done some research on the state of “Der Vaterland” religion in my country here — and did not post. It was a hard day for many noncustodial mothers worldwide, which I know because we talk with each other sometimes.
I also received another no-answer call, from a cell phone, from the same geographic vicinity as my ex, who has recently (though having won in court and happily ensconced with a new woman, and who would think in need of yet another “victory” or some sort) been both texting, calling, and at least once, showing up at my doorstep unannounced and unwanted. This, in this context, is called Stalking. If it was not him, still, the fact that I should have to do a reverse phone lookup, because it was so disturbing and part of an unbroken pattern is significant.
Here’s what the holidays meant for our family — and I know many others who have divorced, not amicably — occasions for incidents.
The national religion is, we are supposed to be happy, rejoicing, and ensconced in a family or extended family setting at these times. Or in a soup line for the homeless, being charitable (or, eating).
Add to this, I’m a musician, and major music events occurred around them, they were also financial fiascos. What should then, have been a joyful occasion became for me, a cause for anxiety and trigger to post-traumatic stress. With good cause, too. This was true BEFORE we separated, as well. We had to perform as a family. My ex apparently had performance stress, and one of my most major, earliest (though not THE earliest) memories of an outrageous physical (assault & battery, now that I know the proper term) of me, while pregnant, happened seconds after a nice family dinner event around Christmas, with my relatives. He had been embarrassed, somehow, and I was going to pay. One kid was dashed into the bedroom and dumped into a crib so two hands would be free to punish me properly. The other one had no choice, not having been born yet.
Let’s reduce the occasions for violent incidents!
Let’s move away from nationalized, attention-deficit-friendly, polytheism and ADD closer to either monotheism, or atheism?
It might give us more time to breathe, reflect, THINK, and memorize our national constitutions.
Here — this is only >>one<< instance of incidents planned for Father’s Day. There were others for Mother’s Day, for example, major political leaders in the US gearing up for the 10th Anniversary of Father’s Day (right around Mother’s Day), and (lying) to the public about how neglected and underfunded the concept of fatherhood was, and how we need to pass more laws, and send more money, of course, hire more experts, to protect the concept.
Included in such proclamations are the usual (gag….) statistics on how female-headed (formerly called “single-mother” only we are now carefully avoiding the use of this word “mother” in public arenas, except YOUNG ones that might generate home nurse visitation programs, also part of the agenda under Health and Human Services, USA). It’s no longer MOTHERS, it’s Children and Families. And, of course Fathers.
Absent from those statistics would be, for example, children such as Amy & Owen above. They are no longer “at risk” for anything at all, except, depending on your version of reality and the universe, possible resurrection, or is it fossilization. Their long-term futures are not going to be part of any Head Start, Healthy Families, or Low-Income Maternal/Parental bonding studies. So if you are reading any of these studies, generally footnoted by a number of Ph.D.’s, LCSW’s, MFTs, etc. (as are some of the contrary studies), just remember — the statistics are skewed. SOME kids never make it this far, and THAT is one reason why “FEMALE-HEADED HOUSEHOLDS” can — yes indeed — be dangerous to children.
Especially as mediated by a court system that doesn’t take this possibility into account.
Incidents like this arouse emotions in the rest of us — of course. When people’s emotions are at high pitch is not always a great time to make major decisions, and it is DEFINITELY not a great time to analyze government spending. SOMEONE’s money is going to transfer hands, on the basis of these things. Some grants are going to get funded, adn for sure a few print newspapers were sold on the backs of those two kids, as well as the on-line search ratings.
Since I began this blog, I noticed that by the time I had one incident up, or narrated/commented on, another one had hit the news. It was impossible to intelligently keep up commentary with all of them, let alone analysis:
Feb 20, 2009 … A father “unlawfully killed” his two young children and rigged up a makeshift bomb at his house before committing suicide, an inquest has …
news.sky.com/…/Brian–Philcox…Lyn–McAuliffe/…/200902315226750 – Similar –
Feb 10, 2009 …Brian Philcox 320. A WOMAN whose two children were gassed to death by her …Lyn McAuliffe, 38, said she would go to the graveside of her … http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/…/lyn–mcauliffe-birthday-visit-for-tragic-mum- 100252-22893336/ –Similar –
Brian Philcox, 53, of UK, devised a homemade bomb to kill his wife and mother of his 2 children. …Philcox later called McAuliffe to ask her to enter his home. … India News, Jade Goody, Jamie Hince, Jamie Lynn Spears, Janet Jackson …
celebgalz.com/brian–philcox-philox-killed-kids-and-planned-to-kill-2-more- photos/ –Cached – Similar –
Security guard Brian Philcox drugged his two children before killing them and himself on …After the hearing, the children’s mother Lyn McAuliffe, 38, …
rights4mothers.blogspot.com/ – Cached – Similar –
Feb 26, 2009 …Lyn McAuliffe describes Amy and Owen Philcox’s killer as evil and … Child killer Brian Philcox had glittering career in world of karate … http://www.runcornandwidnesweeklynews.co.uk/runcorn…/26/
Now, the United States, and I believe other countries, are in the grip of a nationalized religion, but one that still hasn’t — other major world ones, stood the test of time — I mean, thousands, or at least hundreds, of years.
We have a nationalized public educational system, and it has to get organized around SOMETHING, as far as schedule. Ironically –according to at least one of my readings on the history of this system — it was pushed and promoted in part as a RE-action by Protestant Christians against an influx of Catholic immigrants from Southern Europe, and/or Ireland. I don’t think Jews or Muslims made honorable mention in this, let alone Hindu, Buddhist, or anything else. There were also the Harvard Unitarians versus the mainline Trinitarians. It was basically fear-mongering about the incoming religions (plus economic and sometimes military, force) backing it up. A land grab was involved of church properties. If you’re really interested, submit a comment, and I’ll submit some bibliography.
So what do we have now, in the school schedules, and reflected in the family court visitation orders (schedules) as well? Ironically, we have some of the most Catholic in origin holiday schedules: Christmas, Easter, Halloween. Google these, and you’ll get somewhere back to the time of Constantine, Rome, and recognize that they, too, had a national religion, and had to sort of, er, do a melting pot. Polytheism was patriotic, monotheism was, well, unnatural.
Jews, and later, Christians, protested, refusing to sacrifice and well, this was entertainment and gladiator fodder. They were made examples of, and you can read history on your own times for a better version of the word “holiday.”
I’m working on this theme, but it seems to me that any national religion pushed down the national throat — is going to produce a reaction, and reactionary elements, and they will kill. There will be war.
What I see right now is Male Supremacists versus “Ms.” and I see LGBT vs. Healthy Marriage enshrined, and I do mean that.
I also see — and if you follow my blog, or others linked to it (see the buttons), or if you simply are motivated enough — how with ONE side of the mouth, our government is taking advice from “faith-based initiatives” on how marriage is ALWAYS just so wonderful, that we should play matchmaker, federally speaking. What do do about cases like the young man in Tennessee, who had 21 children by 5 (or was it 15?) different women is a little unclear. And a moot point — he wasn’t earning much. A
And from another Department (of Education), same Branch (Executive) — there’s a battleground for conttrol of our children in the K-12 school system, i.e., “It’s Elementary” and “Days of Silence,” spawning all kinds of nonprofits justice groups to track this, and defend that. Generally speaking, the ACLU is probably going to come up the other side of, say, Pacific Justice Institute, who tend to defend the conservative Christian groups. WHICH (in case you wondered), I’m not. Primarly because they won’t stick up for women when their own are being beaten, nor was I raised thus anyhow.
So what we have here is:
SYSTEMIC PROBLEM #1 (for sake of numbering them somehow)
Fatherhood, Healthy Marriage is, essentially, conservative — and has a religious base They RULE in the courts (or will soon, if not yet).
Practically the entire public school educational system is quite progressive.
So you have a built-in war between the EDUCATION system (if you’re rusty, EXECUTIVE Branch) and the COURT system (JUDICIAL BRANCH). One way to also conceptually phrase THAT war could be on the basis of sexuality (LGBT vs. Hetero, plus Dads Rule), OR, it could also be considered, Religion versus no religion.
APPARENT SYSTEMIC PROBLEM #2 – within the Health and Human Services alone (Executive Branch)
I want to know more about the origins of this department, currently our country’s largest. This is the topic for a different post. My study (since my schedule was vacated, rudely, by certain governmental institutions, which cast me upon the (still incoherent, best I can interpret) mercies of other ones, I have both been highly motivated to find out HOW they got away with this, and how to stop the process.
I could readily, and competently, navigate the familiar waters of: housing, working, parenting, and alongside that, negotiating for the best education of the dollar possible given our family history. I also competently negotiated a household move with my work schedule, and even a moderate compromise within the family lines (I compromised school choice for my kids, believing at face value, this to have been a temporary situation, so long as I could thereafter make ends meet, only to find it had instead been a land mine….. a sacred cow . )
I could not, nor do I feel responsible for not having been able to, engage meanwhile in mind-reading of either people who had no business running MY business, nor institutions who also thought it was there privilege to do so. As we had homeschooled (while I taught for public schools, private nonprofits, and among other homeschooling families), I had not yet been indoctrinated into the concept of “YOUR children are OUR property” mentality, nor the unbelievably condescending and negative attitude some schools hold towards parents who are neither on the PTA, the School Board, or the class volunteer list.
ANY family (I’ll be neutral and not say the more accurate, “WOMAN” or “MOTHER”) leaving an abusive situation has done so by virtue of some help from somewhere. She is NOT in a position to understand, generally, that other than her most IMMEDIATE abusers, which may or may not include family of origin, faith community, or other immediate circles who didn’t report — as some of them are mandated by law to, in the US — that she should no more trust intervening outsiders saying “let me help you” than she did the person assaulting her “for her own good.”
No woman, or kid, becomes independent and self-sufficient by having theorists and philosophers tell them how to live, OR, how to leave. In retrospect, my / our civil rights were compromised every single step of the way — and I can identify this in my case, and in others. As I protested, the resistance — not just individual (ex), and his new associates, but also corporate and governmental entities — to the concept that I was intelligent enough to make a choice, and that one of those choices was that any governmental intrusion into OUR life should begin with equal treatment under the law, and addressing violations of court orders. Such violations are indicators. Perhaps if women ran government, as we run the raising of lots of little kids (I mean, til they go to preschool, or such), we’d drop the massmanagement theory, and go to the, knowing individuals, and CALLING them on whether an infraction was intentional (i.e., testing the limits) or harassing/distracting/destructive, or simply unintentional and a mistake.
At every step of the way, as I began calling attention to these repeated infractions of my personal boundaries, the court orders, my home space, decision-making, and much, much more, the reactions escalated. Hmm. . . . . . real indignation at the concept that a woman should NOT be passive, malleable, and dependent, in every way. That she should deserve some privacy — for REAL — or that she might have a clue what’s good for her kids. That she might not to choose to re-engage sexually right away, given the last man was dangerous. And that, possibly if she DID, such might bring on further aggressions from the deposed male.
Defending one’s borders, and boundaries, takes effort and time, and energy. RIGHT, border patrol? This is also true personally.
I personally think that the US Government has other business to do than transgressing mine, particularly because I happened to have shown up as female, and fertile. It is not my patriotic duty to fork over children for categorization, education, indoctrination, or demonstration grants in Responsible Fatherhood, Healthy Marriage, or anything else that is not necessary for US to pursue: Life, Liberty, and Happiness. Now, when the government DID catch me briefly, and say, We will Enforce a Child Support Order, which I did not ask them to do, then it has a duty to behave honestly towards my children in that activity. And failing to inform us about all the other initiatives (in place, as I have said repeatedly on here, since at least the 1990s, and many sources say, 1980s) is “Irresponsible Governmenthood.”
It is not my civic duty to fork over my time, life, or children to jump onto the petri dish to be examined and become fodder for the mental health industry if we resist, being either literate, or old enough to remember memorizing the Declaration of Independence in a public school.
My last few months of studying the Health and Human Services Department (a.k.a., following the trail of bread crumbs from when contact with my kids — and their child support — got lost in the bureaucratic woods of “help, stop!, protect! enforce! Beware! Advocate!” red tape in two (California) counties) — has shown clearly that in this last point, I and they differ. 180 degrees. 100%. I have a high-conflict relationship with that philosophy, one that no amount of “in loco parenting” classes is likely to correct. I value my sanity, and I tried the placate, duck, and appease method for a long time in my marriage before we got to Call it by the right name, Restrain, Protect, (“CPR”) philosophy.
THIS CREATES BUILT-IN CONFLICT AND POVERT – for some, and professions — for to.
See my (hopefully) upcoming post(s) on Responsible Citizenhood (Parts III, IV and V) and
“Survival of the Fittest: Study and Prosper, or Be Broke and Be Studied” a.k.a.,
“Multiple (Life) Choices in a New Brave World: (1) Etymologist or (2) the Bug on the Plate”
NOW – I have a recommendation (See top of post):
Can we reduce our specialty days, in the courts, and in the educational systems to perhaps FIVE? or SEVEN?
And no two in the same month:
One for atheism.
One (or you say how many) for polytheism.
One, or at most 3, for each of the three monotheistic religions: Judaism, Christianity, Islam (In chrono order). Or, Christianity, Islam, Judaism (in alpha order). Or . . . . .
(Kind of like mono and poly unsaturated fats, right?)
Or, extend the school year, and shorten the work week, as Friday, Saturday and Sunday characterize these weekly holy days, right?
(The naming, versus numbering, of the days of the week is itself a pagan concept.)
And teachers, you will have to find some other “themes” (such as skills development?) around which to build the school year, not, respectively, (Sept.-June):
Labor, Halloween (DV awareness), Thanksgiving, Hannukah-Kwanzaa-Christmas, Presidents, Martin Luther King, Jr., St. Patrick, Easter (SA/CA/PAS awareness), Veterans & Mothers ((although the parallel seems appropriate in some contexts…), Fathers, and Hallelujah, summer vacation — or school, depending on how well your children concentrated the above in one piece).
No WONDER pharmaceuticals are needed to keep kids focused.
Independence Day (July 4th, US), is coming up. Now, I know the above is ludicrous — but I hope I showed at least that these federally-sponsored (that’s your tax dollars, USA) institutions:
National Holidays
PUBLIC School
Courts
Government Institutions (at least a few of them)
Religions
are all intertwined. These institutions also affect the workforce.
WHAT LEVEL OF ATTRITION (translation: Crime, death, waste) IS ACCEPTABLE? IN ORDER TO JAM A NUMBER OF RELIGIOUS BELIEFS INTO SEVERAL OF THESE INSTITUTIONS, CAUSING “WARS” AMONG THEM, AND WITHIN SOME OF THEM, MEANWHILE PROCLAIMING THAT CONGRESS IS NOT, IN FACT, MAKING A LAW ESTABLISHING A RELIGION?
Let’s talk profession — remember the joke: What is the “oldest profession in the world”? (Put one of two possible answers). Now you just saw the oldest religion too.
Sex, for money. So who is being sold what?
I note that Mr. Philcox, having been booted out of the house (guess that was HIS religion) opted –quickly– to kill his entire family and himself, and partially succeeded. Guess we know what religion THAT was. He picked up a single mother (who had a son at around age 20), about 15 years his junior, and quickly made some babies, was aggressive towards the son NOT of his gene pool, and when those who WERE of his gene pool were not allowed to live with him, apparently, he wiped them out. Possibly Darwinist?
Would you give up at LEAST: Mother’s and Father’s Day to save a few children’s lives?
Note: This might affect which Congressperson you elect next term. There is no “motherhood” initiative, but there sure as hell– and it’s been hell on Moms, and kids — a “Fatherhood” one! And I already posted who voted for it, in both Houses of the Legislature.
Or do you believe that female-headed households are dangerous and should be eliminated, by hook or by crook, or by pipe bomb?
You know, some prophesies are self-fulfilling, and at this rate, unless some major institutions are somewhat re-arranged (NO, I am NOT advocating the overthrow of anything United States — particularly not the Constitution, Bill of Rights, and due process in all 3 branches of government), it looks to be heading towards Armageddon.
PERHAPS — just PERHAPS — if we could dissolve some of the more monolithic aspects here, and allow a bit more fluidity and dynamic response to actual situations (within the scope of, of course, law), there would be fewer reactionary fundamentalist factions proclaiming, pronouncing, warring, and killing — or stealing. Kids, and dollars.
Blog Navigation: Current Posts occur BELOW Sticky Posts. Tables Of Contents by Year and Others are Sticky). (One Widget, Many Boxes with Links). Rev. Dec. 2019; Split Apr. 2022
**Below Twelve (12) "Sticky" (pinned) posts, several of which are Tables of Contents. {{TOCs 2019 So Far, 2018 and Sept. 2012 - Dec. 2017, also listed separately, below on this Widget}}. Generally, for the most recent posts (access individually) scroll down on this sidebar to 'The Ten Most Recent 'Let's Get Honest' Posts' widget, updated automatically.
(Above link is to the blog's standing, static 'Current Posts' Page where all posts are shown. As a Page (not "Post") its case-sensitive short-link ends 'PsBXH-8v2'). Home page (Just type FamilyCourtmatters.org explains the shortlink protocols I also incorporate into posts (with 868 posts, you might too!) for internal cross-referencing
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FamilyCourtMatters.org default Front Page, LGH Top Picks, Themes ... and Why My Gravatar is a Blue Jay taking Flight. ((short-link ends "PsBXH-8o0" or just type in 'FamilyCourtMatters.org')(Long, Detailed, with Visuals on Current Topics, Orgs, ID's ongoing Thought-Leadership, Stakeholders (sic))<divPage was partitioned, generating off-ramped, updated posts (Sept. 2019ff), and further shortened (by adding a subsidiary page) Dec. 26, 2019) but still displays the level of drill-downs and explains the WHY of my diff''t approach as an investigative blogger.
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Consolidated Control of Domestic Violence Advocacy by Feminist Leadership REFUSING TO IDENTIFY, BY NAME and FINANCING, The Opposition Entities. **((It's a PAGE so short-link ends "/PsBXH-8rg")) [USA funding both sides of a gender war -- unequally should be questioned. We MUST understand the federally legislated funding which stacks the deck for ongoing conflict and ongoing fees for psych- and behavioral-health professionals and entrepreneurs, as opposed to in the public interest.] (Orig. from LGH 2018 Front page. May partition this page (onto another page or posts)! //LGH Oct. 2, 2019)
(This post finishes off-ramping four previously-shortened-version text widgets (with some July, 2019, updates), the title names them. Former versions of them were previously saved by posting in full on one or the other of the first two links above (with the word "Sidebar" in their titles) (links to full versions also stored on this post). THIS POST ALSO holds my narrative lead-in and footnotes around 'BMTP' (Battered Mothers Testimony Project){{=pdf of its Final Rept 2002}} at Wellesley Centers For Women, leading to my strongly-worded disclaimer/commentary on how, while misogyny (overall) is real and systemic, I disagree w standard feminist (so-called) domestic violence advocacy's protocol response to handling of Violence Against Women and Child Abuse 'IN the Family Courts'). My drill-down led me to better understanding of 1985ff (now, as 2 merged centers) Wellesley Center for Women's (WC4W's) historic psychoanalysis/ psychology focus and how funders of this influential, well-endowed, private, Boston-area, all-woman college's influential reporting (2002, example shown) are still effectively driving DV and VAWA policy. Still investigating... (see also Kathleen Stone Kaufmann, Wellesley '67(?) + her parents' "Stone Endowmt Fund")
____ (TOC 2017 (+ earlier) link above also accessible as internal link on (short) page "New to Blog?...," below.
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[April, 2022] DONATE! To show appreciation and help me Justify Continuing this INVESTIGATIVE BLOGGING Begun March, 2009,** (Not Tax-Exempt: Yet). WHY ELSE? See Apr. 2022 Narrative in 5 text boxes.
**Below Several "Sticky" (pinned) posts, including Tables of Contents. {{separated by year}}. Generally, and to skip the "Sticky Posts" at top, for the most recent posts (access individually) scroll down on this sidebar to 'The Ten Most Recent 'Let's Get Honest' Posts' widget .
(The above link is to the blog's static 'Current Posts' Page where all posts (Sticky ones on top) display. As a Page (not "Post") its case-sensitive short-link ends 'PsBXH-8v2'). Home page (Static Front page, see next box) explains the shortlink protocols I also incorporate into posts (with 868 posts, you might too!) for internal cross-referencing AND if you wish to link to a specific post or page, pls. also always include its date posted. The "Archives " (Calendar widget) function also helpful for browsing by month back to 2009 or if you know which month.
This blog's default, static Front Page, LGH Top Picks, Themes ... and Why My Gravatar is a Blue Jay taking Flight. (short-link ends "PsBXH-8o0" or just type in 'FamilyCourtMatters.org') is long, detailed, with visuals on current topics and orgs. It identifies ongoing "Thought-Leadership," "Stakeholders" (sic) and holds many internal links to other pages or posts explaining certain topics, or even entities. It holds also the link to Current Posts near the top. Current posts are NOT posted below the Front Page but separately from it.
Page was partitioned, generating off-ramped, updated posts (Sept. 2019ff), and further shortened (by adding a subsidiary page) Dec. 26, 2019) but still displays the level of drill-downs and explains the WHY of my diff''t approach as an investigative blogger.
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[Five sections (several paragraphs per section) of text removed from here Oct. 12, 2022. They'll show up again soon; I've moved them to their own post.//LGH.). I'm active still on Twitter, just not producing posts as frequently this past season...
(This is the blog's standing, Static 'Current Posts' Page where all posts are shown, so its case-sensitive short-link (being a 'Page') ends 'PsBXH-8v2')
_(TOC 2017 (+ earlier) link above also accessible as internal link on (short) page "New to Blog?...," below.
This PAGE (shortlink ends “PsBXH-8iP”) holds detailed drill-downs and supplements the next two POSTS('Chasing Down Corp + Charitable Registratn's'...Pt. 1, Pt. 2) shown next (below) on this text widget)This Page: is still relevant, a good read; deals w/ AFCC-member (Judge-Lawyer-Court Services Administrator) founded Kids'Turn, Internat'l Parental Kidnapping as regards the Hague Convention; and shows HOW specific non-profit coalitions organize to trademark programs + obtain federal grants, while using mis-leading language, (several) name-changing rapidly (SFCAPC became ' Safe+Sound,' etc.) and more..)
(This post finishes off-ramping four previously-shortened-version text widgets (with some July, 2019, updates), the title names them. Former versions of them were previously saved by posting in full on one or the other of the first two links above (with the word "Sidebar" in their titles) (links to full versions also stored on this post). THIS POST ALSO holds my narrative lead-in and footnotes around 'BMTP' (Battered Mothers Testimony Project){{=pdf of its Final Rept 2002}} at Wellesley Centers For Women, leading to my strongly-worded disclaimer/commentary on how, while misogyny (overall) is real and systemic, I disagree w standard feminist (so-called) domestic violence advocacy's protocol response to handling of Violence Against Women and Child Abuse 'IN the Family Courts'). Drill-down started led to better understanding of 1985ff (now, as 2 merged centers) WC4W's historic psychoanalysis/ psychology focus and funders of this influential, well-endowed, private, Boston-area, all-woman college's influential reporting (2002, example shown), effectively driving DV and VAWA policy. Still investigating... (see also Kathleen Stone Kaufmann, Wellesley '67(?) + her parents' "Stone Endowmt Fund")
This Absolutely Uncommon Analysis shouldn’t be! **
**Summer, 2019, Update/s: This widget formerly called "Contributions Welcome & Needed/Thanks." Its full contents are now on a separate post (linked above and below) and I'm deciding how much, if any, of this one to keep in place here..//LGH.
This Absolutely Uncommon Analysis shouldn't be!
What I do here: I expose the Systems Design, and the Designers, so Y.O.U. can Show Others, and to notify those playing certain games, "you've been flagged."
Heard of "disruptive technologies?" Disruptive innovations?
Well, this is a disruptive blog. I give people who've already been strung out and stripped down BY the system another place to stand and look at it, and a clear, fairly diagnostic language (vs. pretty logos and moving pictures) to describe it to others. AND, which many don't do, I tell how I found the information; links databases and all.
Despite the blog's appearance, I know what I'm doing! You're looking at long-term leverage, in the hands of the "non-experts," in the public interest, not public funded propaganda to drive business to private pockets. Hence, I'm not afraid to ask:
The formula for this public/private business model isn't really that complex, but the concept itself was just so devious, insidious, parasitic, grandiose, and by now, so baked into the economic, institutional infrastructure, people either don't notice, or, in a common, cowardly, but all too human response they see, and just start denying, or looking for nicer explanations of an ugly truth -- where it's heading. For lack of nicer, but still honest terms, it's heading towards yet more slavery (and tolerating it) and genocide (and tolerating it). [[2019 comments: and the ability to drive the U.S., in particular, into even more, bigger, and more costly/dangerous wars, discrediting us (further) internationally. But I wrote this sidebar many years ago..]]
As a woman, mother, a family court and domestic violence survivor [yes, he was a hitter, and more], who has already 'faced the music' in more ways than I can count, to the best of my ability, I do not do "denial." I also ask the public, what's left of it, to just not go down that Denial Road, and with it lose more of their innate humanity, perception, and ethics. There is another way out, one with a conscience:
Really want system change? Make up your mind to understand government financing -- change yourself first. Find and read your local "CAFR" (government's Comprehensive Annual Financial Reports), a wonderful source of information, with flow chart, descriptions of component or blended government units it's reporting on, and reporting the balances in each fund -- ever heard of a "Balance Sheet"? Looking for this also reveals just how many governmental business entities ARE there? Find them. Read. Think about what you see. What does it mean?
Governments tend to pool their investments, for example, "CALPERS" (essentially created ca. 1931) is the largest "public pension" investing platform around, or at least in the country. Getting started earlier sure helped, then adding players (subscribers) over time ALSO did. In 1985, add "CII" Council on Institutional Investors (members: in 31states and D.C.) (LA Times 1985 article on Calif. Politician (state treasurer, assembly speaker) Unruh whose idea it was for the Council so institutional funds could "flex their muscle"; and push for corporate governance reform. CII members now control $3 trillion of assets)-- my point being, government holdings are invested and when pooled like this, are major clout, but the average person never reads even a single government entity's annual financial reports to take a look. (I wasn't aware of them til 2012!)
Governments not only invest their funds in business, they also by legislation, patenting, and protections, set them up to win, or lose. So, "know thy government" is a great place to start. (See blog/see links in the blog).
[This Dialogue continued below under the sidebar widget "Really Want Systems Change?".]
2019 updates: This widget's (text box) full contents, along with others', now can be viewed (better -- full-page-width) at: Many of My Sidebar Widgets Now Live Here...[Published July 9, 2019]Published short (url short-link ends "-abt") (and may eventually replace current sidebar contents, or most of them). I also published a second, similar post with other sidebar widget contents(url short-link ends '-ahh') on July 19, 2019. Thanks for your patience (and any NOT-tax-exempt donations) meanwhile.//LGH
Copyright “fair use” doctrine cited USC Title 17 Ch 1 SEC. 107
The "fair use" doctrine allows limited reproduction of copyrighted works for educational and research purposes. The relevant portion of the copyright statue provides that the "fair use" of a copyrighted work, including reproduction "for purposes such as criticism, news reporting, teaching (including multiple copies for classroom use), scholarship, or research" is not an infringement of copyright. U.S.C. Title 17, Chapter 1, Sec. 107.
Doorways to Key Parts of This Blog (I split the long Dec. 2019 Widgets. Added 27 Apr. 2022).
Can we call it a day on these “Days” ?? What are they worth, to you?
leave a comment »
Hey, people – – can we talk?
You can see from the gadgets to the right (Feedjit, Statcounter, etc.)
some people are at least zipping through the site. Let’s talk, or load page-views and just snatch data from each other
June 21st was Father’s Day. In May was Mothers’ day. In April, it was the next two holidays, and the other ones below
are of older origins.
If it saved even TWO lives, would you give up the “Days”?
Even if you worked at Hallmark cards, a flower shop, or a newspaper?
Now, I realize that all religions require sacrifice, sometimes (often?) entailing blood, sometimes human, often children.
But perhaps we could simplify, and get it down, nationally at least (or internationally?) to the long-standing world religions, and for good measure, “Bill of Rights” Day in the U.S., with particular emphasis on Amendments I and II, which entails that the Government shall protect our right not to believe in any god, or as a nation worship one, or have our money — our offspring– poured out at its altar.
Bill of Rights
I am beginning to think that part of every young person’s education should be memorization, by rote, of these amendments, and training in self-defense, by arms, not just karate. A karate kick doesn’t stop a bullet.
(RECOMMENDED: Intercollegiate Studies Institute //American Civic Literacy Program)
Discussion continued, AFTER you take a good look at two children murdered by their father (along with himself, a.k.a. suicide) last year for this reason: His (younger) wife dared to leave him, in May, and he wasn’t going to have them on Father’s Day, in June:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/02/09/wife-tells-of-ex-husban-s-sick-plan-to-murder-kids-then-blow-her-up-after-father-s-day-115875-21109000/
Gassed children unlawfully killed
Those are the children above. I’m a little unclear on when it might be “lawful” to kill children — on what grounds, self-defense?
The 52-year-old karate expert had separated from his wife in May 2008 after eight years of marriage.
The children’s mother, Lyn McAuliffe, 38, from Runcorn, Cheshire, wept as details of the deaths were read.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A typical court order, at least over here (US), will say: Children to be with their Father on Father’s Day, Mother on Mother’s Day, and then will specify the usual holidays — geared typically to the school year, which itself is generally arranged around (oddly enough) major Christian holidays, although Christianity, if not talk of “God” (as if real) is out of favor in many educational systems these days.
In my case, zero of these were enforced for the past almost 3 full years. The last time I attempted to stick up for this, there was retaliation. NONE of the “Shared Parenting” advocates seem too bothered when mothers, as opposed to fathers, are not seeing their children — sometimes removed on grounds of “Parental Alienation” (a.k.a., reporting child sexual abuse, or some other criminal behavior. In my case the criminal offence, I gather, was expecting, and saying openly, to everyone involved (including agencies) that I expected my ex- to be held accountable to obey all court orders, like I was. And to work, like I was…..”
WHY I DIDN”T POST ON FATHER’S DAY:
For one, grief. This news article came across my inbox, and others.
I am a mother. I was unable to see my own daughters on Mother’s Day in: 2005, 2006, and 2007. I did not make plans to blow anyone up or get vengeance. I had a hard time, I’ll admit this Father’s Day — especially that now I’ve done some research on the state of “Der Vaterland” religion in my country here — and did not post. It was a hard day for many noncustodial mothers worldwide, which I know because we talk with each other sometimes.
I also received another no-answer call, from a cell phone, from the same geographic vicinity as my ex, who has recently (though having won in court and happily ensconced with a new woman, and who would think in need of yet another “victory” or some sort) been both texting, calling, and at least once, showing up at my doorstep unannounced and unwanted. This, in this context, is called Stalking. If it was not him, still, the fact that I should have to do a reverse phone lookup, because it was so disturbing and part of an unbroken pattern is significant.
Here’s what the holidays meant for our family — and I know many others who have divorced, not amicably — occasions for incidents.
The national religion is, we are supposed to be happy, rejoicing, and ensconced in a family or extended family setting at these times. Or in a soup line for the homeless, being charitable (or, eating).
Add to this, I’m a musician, and major music events occurred around them, they were also financial fiascos. What should then, have been a joyful occasion became for me, a cause for anxiety and trigger to post-traumatic stress. With good cause, too. This was true BEFORE we separated, as well. We had to perform as a family. My ex apparently had performance stress, and one of my most major, earliest (though not THE earliest) memories of an outrageous physical (assault & battery, now that I know the proper term) of me, while pregnant, happened seconds after a nice family dinner event around Christmas, with my relatives. He had been embarrassed, somehow, and I was going to pay. One kid was dashed into the bedroom and dumped into a crib so two hands would be free to punish me properly. The other one had no choice, not having been born yet.
Let’s reduce the occasions for violent incidents!
Let’s move away from nationalized, attention-deficit-friendly, polytheism and ADD closer to either monotheism, or atheism?
It might give us more time to breathe, reflect, THINK, and memorize our national constitutions.
Here — this is only >>one<< instance of incidents planned for Father’s Day. There were others for Mother’s Day, for example, major political leaders in the US gearing up for the 10th Anniversary of Father’s Day (right around Mother’s Day), and (lying) to the public about how neglected and underfunded the concept of fatherhood was, and how we need to pass more laws, and send more money, of course, hire more experts, to protect the concept.
Included in such proclamations are the usual (gag….) statistics on how female-headed (formerly called “single-mother” only we are now carefully avoiding the use of this word “mother” in public arenas, except YOUNG ones that might generate home nurse visitation programs, also part of the agenda under Health and Human Services, USA). It’s no longer MOTHERS, it’s Children and Families. And, of course Fathers.
Absent from those statistics would be, for example, children such as Amy & Owen above. They are no longer “at risk” for anything at all, except, depending on your version of reality and the universe, possible resurrection, or is it fossilization. Their long-term futures are not going to be part of any Head Start, Healthy Families, or Low-Income Maternal/Parental bonding studies. So if you are reading any of these studies, generally footnoted by a number of Ph.D.’s, LCSW’s, MFTs, etc. (as are some of the contrary studies), just remember — the statistics are skewed. SOME kids never make it this far, and THAT is one reason why “FEMALE-HEADED HOUSEHOLDS” can — yes indeed — be dangerous to children.
Especially as mediated by a court system that doesn’t take this possibility into account.
Incidents like this arouse emotions in the rest of us — of course. When people’s emotions are at high pitch is not always a great time to make major decisions, and it is DEFINITELY not a great time to analyze government spending. SOMEONE’s money is going to transfer hands, on the basis of these things. Some grants are going to get funded, adn for sure a few print newspapers were sold on the backs of those two kids, as well as the on-line search ratings.
Since I began this blog, I noticed that by the time I had one incident up, or narrated/commented on, another one had hit the news. It was impossible to intelligently keep up commentary with all of them, let alone analysis:
Search Results
Brian Philcox Inquest: Killed Children Amy And Owen In Llanryst …
news.sky.com/…/Brian–Philcox…Lyn–McAuliffe/…/200902315226750 – Similar –
Man who killed himself and his two children left ‘Bitch’ note …
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/…/Man-killed-children-left-Bitch-note-rigged- homemade-bomb-wife.html – Similar –
Lyn McAuliffe: Birthday visit for tragic mum – Liverpool Echo.co.uk
http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/…/lyn–mcauliffe-birthday-visit-for-tragic-mum- 100252-22893336/ –Similar –
Daily Post North Wales – News – North Wales News – Mum of children …
http://www.dailypost.co.uk/…/mum-of-children-killed-in-north-wales-will-not- forgive-dad-55578-22975841/ – Cached – Similar –
Brian Philcox: Philox killed kids and planned to kill 2 more …
celebgalz.com/brian–philcox-philox-killed-kids-and-planned-to-kill-2-more- photos/ –Cached – Similar –
Mama Liberty
rights4mothers.blogspot.com/ – Cached – Similar –
26 February 2009 – Local Runcorn & Widnes news …
http://www.runcornandwidnesweeklynews.co.uk/runcorn…/26/
Now, the United States, and I believe other countries, are in the grip of a nationalized religion, but one that still hasn’t — other major world ones, stood the test of time — I mean, thousands, or at least hundreds, of years.
We have a nationalized public educational system, and it has to get organized around SOMETHING, as far as schedule. Ironically –according to at least one of my readings on the history of this system — it was pushed and promoted in part as a RE-action by Protestant Christians against an influx of Catholic immigrants from Southern Europe, and/or Ireland. I don’t think Jews or Muslims made honorable mention in this, let alone Hindu, Buddhist, or anything else. There were also the Harvard Unitarians versus the mainline Trinitarians. It was basically fear-mongering about the incoming religions (plus economic and sometimes military, force) backing it up. A land grab was involved of church properties. If you’re really interested, submit a comment, and I’ll submit some bibliography.
So what do we have now, in the school schedules, and reflected in the family court visitation orders (schedules) as well? Ironically, we have some of the most Catholic in origin holiday schedules: Christmas, Easter, Halloween. Google these, and you’ll get somewhere back to the time of Constantine, Rome, and recognize that they, too, had a national religion, and had to sort of, er, do a melting pot. Polytheism was patriotic, monotheism was, well, unnatural.
Jews, and later, Christians, protested, refusing to sacrifice and well, this was entertainment and gladiator fodder. They were made examples of, and you can read history on your own times for a better version of the word “holiday.”
I’m working on this theme, but it seems to me that any national religion pushed down the national throat — is going to produce a reaction, and reactionary elements, and they will kill. There will be war.
What I see right now is Male Supremacists versus “Ms.” and I see LGBT vs. Healthy Marriage enshrined, and I do mean that.
I also see — and if you follow my blog, or others linked to it (see the buttons), or if you simply are motivated enough — how with ONE side of the mouth, our government is taking advice from “faith-based initiatives” on how marriage is ALWAYS just so wonderful, that we should play matchmaker, federally speaking. What do do about cases like the young man in Tennessee, who had 21 children by 5 (or was it 15?) different women is a little unclear. And a moot point — he wasn’t earning much. A
And from another Department (of Education), same Branch (Executive) — there’s a battleground for conttrol of our children in the K-12 school system, i.e., “It’s Elementary” and “Days of Silence,” spawning all kinds of nonprofits justice groups to track this, and defend that. Generally speaking, the ACLU is probably going to come up the other side of, say, Pacific Justice Institute, who tend to defend the conservative Christian groups. WHICH (in case you wondered), I’m not. Primarly because they won’t stick up for women when their own are being beaten, nor was I raised thus anyhow.
So what we have here is:
So you have a built-in war between the EDUCATION system (if you’re rusty, EXECUTIVE Branch) and the COURT system (JUDICIAL BRANCH). One way to also conceptually phrase THAT war could be on the basis of sexuality (LGBT vs. Hetero, plus Dads Rule), OR, it could also be considered, Religion versus no religion.
THIS CREATES BUILT-IN CONFLICT AND POVERT – for some, and professions — for to.
See my (hopefully) upcoming post(s) on Responsible Citizenhood (Parts III, IV and V) and
“Survival of the Fittest: Study and Prosper, or Be Broke and Be Studied” a.k.a.,
“Multiple (Life) Choices in a New Brave World: (1) Etymologist or (2) the Bug on the Plate”
NOW – I have a recommendation (See top of post):
Can we reduce our specialty days, in the courts, and in the educational systems to perhaps FIVE? or SEVEN?
And no two in the same month:
(Kind of like mono and poly unsaturated fats, right?)
Or, extend the school year, and shorten the work week, as Friday, Saturday and Sunday characterize these weekly holy days, right?
(The naming, versus numbering, of the days of the week is itself a pagan concept.)
And teachers, you will have to find some other “themes” (such as skills development?) around which to build the school year, not, respectively, (Sept.-June):
Labor, Halloween (DV awareness), Thanksgiving, Hannukah-Kwanzaa-Christmas, Presidents, Martin Luther King, Jr., St. Patrick, Easter (SA/CA/PAS awareness), Veterans & Mothers ((although the parallel seems appropriate in some contexts…), Fathers, and Hallelujah, summer vacation — or school, depending on how well your children concentrated the above in one piece).
No WONDER pharmaceuticals are needed to keep kids focused.
Independence Day (July 4th, US), is coming up. Now, I know the above is ludicrous — but I hope I showed at least that these federally-sponsored (that’s your tax dollars, USA) institutions:
are all intertwined. These institutions also affect the workforce.
WHAT LEVEL OF ATTRITION (translation: Crime, death, waste) IS ACCEPTABLE? IN ORDER TO JAM A NUMBER OF RELIGIOUS BELIEFS INTO SEVERAL OF THESE INSTITUTIONS, CAUSING “WARS” AMONG THEM, AND WITHIN SOME OF THEM, MEANWHILE PROCLAIMING THAT CONGRESS IS NOT, IN FACT, MAKING A LAW ESTABLISHING A RELIGION?
Let’s talk profession — remember the joke: What is the “oldest profession in the world”? (Put one of two possible answers). Now you just saw the oldest religion too.
Sex, for money. So who is being sold what?
I note that Mr. Philcox, having been booted out of the house (guess that was HIS religion) opted –quickly– to kill his entire family and himself, and partially succeeded. Guess we know what religion THAT was. He picked up a single mother (who had a son at around age 20), about 15 years his junior, and quickly made some babies, was aggressive towards the son NOT of his gene pool, and when those who WERE of his gene pool were not allowed to live with him, apparently, he wiped them out. Possibly Darwinist?
Would you give up at LEAST: Mother’s and Father’s Day to save a few children’s lives?
Note: This might affect which Congressperson you elect next term. There is no “motherhood” initiative, but there sure as hell– and it’s been hell on Moms, and kids — a “Fatherhood” one! And I already posted who voted for it, in both Houses of the Legislature.
Or do you believe that female-headed households are dangerous and should be eliminated, by hook or by crook, or by pipe bomb?
You know, some prophesies are self-fulfilling, and at this rate, unless some major institutions are somewhat re-arranged (NO, I am NOT advocating the overthrow of anything United States — particularly not the Constitution, Bill of Rights, and due process in all 3 branches of government), it looks to be heading towards Armageddon.
PERHAPS — just PERHAPS — if we could dissolve some of the more monolithic aspects here, and allow a bit more fluidity and dynamic response to actual situations (within the scope of, of course, law), there would be fewer reactionary fundamentalist factions proclaiming, pronouncing, warring, and killing — or stealing. Kids, and dollars.
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Written by Let's Get Honest|She Looks It Up
June 24, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Posted in History of Family Court
Tagged with custody, domestic violence, England, family annihilation, family law, fatherhood, Feminists, Intimate partner violence, Manhood, men's rights, Motherhood, social commentary, U.S. Govt $$ hard @ work..