Wait a minute! “IPV,” “DV”– Social Scourges or Euphemism and Oxymoron?

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'A Different Kind of Attention Develops Sound Judgment' | 'Suppose I'm Right Here?…' (posted 3/23 & 3/5/2014). Over 680 posts, Public-Interest Investigative Blogging On These Matters Since 2009.

Wait a minute! “IPV,” “DV”– Social Scourges or Euphemism and Oxymoron?

Vocabulary Analogies.

I was tempted to call this “in which I discuss the dissemination of obfuscation,” but it’s not really a laughing matter when people are dying over this, weekly, and around the globe.

I am not of the belief that utopia is possible, at least as enforced by any state agency, government, religion, NGO, or anyone else. When I hear someone wanting to “help” me, at least someone I don’t know and didn’t personally solicit to do so, I try to head for the hills, and highly recommend this.

Unfortunately, with the advent of the Internet, the Language Police lurking around every corner, and our children being CAUGHT, practically, as they exit the womb by someone funded by someone fanatically suspicious of the mother/child relationship (i refer NOT to the practitioners — thank you, mine were born in a hospital — but to the premises behind some of the policies) — there are fewer and fewer hills left.

This includes hills and pockets of time as well, and that is almost nowhere as true as when a woman, with children, tries to exit a man, who has threatened and hit her, with institutional intervention.

Just as, thanks to the increasing attempts to criminalize “homeschooling” (another misnomer) in my home state, there is less and less time available to the average citizen — whether parent, teacher, commuter employee, or child, unless it is built into one’s profession. I have some perspective (age, profession, and parenting) from which to say this, but have not as yet decided to share identifying go public in more blatant identifying detail (see topic, leaving domestic violence…)

So in general, people do lack either time, or motivation, to address IPV and DV unless we are typically involved by personal association. It is, after all, less pleasant than stopping to smell the roses; in fact it’s profoundly disturbing.

But I say, how about time to stop and smell the vocabulary? Those most inclined to do this are those who have tasted its fruit, where that fruit is sometimes stale and putrid. Maybe you could from the safety of your home (I’m not asking for money, or for you to call your legislator, am I?) might stop a moment to consider.

Some of these terms have become SO proprietary they are almost meaningless, although I am VERY grateful for the women and men before me who passed laws to criminalize “IPV” and “DV” and I am VERY very grateful that I had at least one opportunity to evict someone who had battered me in the classic definition of the word and was engaging in a pattern of what is called “domestic violence.”

IPV for the uninitiated is a version of “Intimate Partner Violence,” itself probably a linguistic migration from “DV” (Domestic Violence). Trust me, there is nothing domesticated about violence, it is per se a refusal to be domesticated. Nor does it only occur domestically (in the home). It’s a lucky person that can domesticate a few cats, but who can “domesticate” a person that has taken to hands (or other handy implements) to intentionally: tame the shrew, or beat/threaten/punish the woman (oops, “partner”) in the process of teaching gender differences DO rule, and some divides were ordained by God (yeah, right) and not cross-able. Note in that concept the transference of protesting hitting one’s (in this example) opposite-sex partner (with whom one has engaged in sex) to illustrate the girls do NOT rule, Boys do. [This is a particularly religious thing, though not limited to it].

Intimate PARTNER? Now that I think of it, when the relationship is He hits Her (or He hits Him, She hits Her, or She hits Him for the politically more correct than I am feeling today), it is the precise opposite of what the word “partner” means. I mean, there’s a “partners in crime,” a humorous phrase used sometimes of a rapscallionly escapade that’s not really a crime. I was mugged twice myself –outside the home. I didn’t go back and “partner” with the guy who made off with my purse.

Why then would I attempt to with the guy who made off with my children? Can we not depart in peace, or get some assistance in this process, eh?

More to the point, why would some agencies in Washington, D.C. and (yes, I looked) Colorado, as tested in a variety of states, usually including California, determine that my doing so would be good for the overall populace? It really goes against nature and common sense. WHO was it that didn’t respect boundaries to start with, generating what’s called some form of separation?

Therefore I say, Intimate Partner Violence has GOT to be some kind of triple oxymoron non-think that has just wormed its way into our vocabulary, nonprofit [and governmental] organizations to distinguish it from stranger violence.

Well, folks, IPV is far WORSE than stranger violence. Stranger violence, if you AND yours survive it, and are not maimed, is not statistically likely to reoccur and escalate to death. Stranger violence has the concept of accidence in it, you could MAYBE have avoided it, or it was unavoidably bad luck. Not so with “IPV,” which when magnified through the institutions designed to (but in general failing to) put a stop to it, is closer to a total blood transfusion, and entails a personal, specific, and persistent hostility and will to hurt from a specific individual specifically against another.

Anyway, words don’t just drop down from the sky. Many of the times (at least in the U.S.) they are federally mandated. Like “Access Visitation” — but that’s another topic for another time.

Once these words have been mandated, and promoted, from “on high” (that’s called, government of the people, by the people, and for the people — or it seems I once heard it was….) they are then circulating through the lower, plebian realms — courts, schools, police stations, nonprofit agencies, and so forth. And the attendant associations to these agencies and institutions, FEW of which YOU are going to be involved with unless you (a) work there, or (b) deal with someone who does, or (c) whose life has led through their doors, or (d) someone dependent on you, or vice versa, as a friend or relative, has also.

My sarcasm here is not really out of place. I have been tracing funding of dysfunctional organizations, with some guidance (NAFCJ.net being among but not the only source) of WHY when I knock on a door and sit down in an office, the agency-speak is simply in my native tongue, but with an entirely different set of rules. The general rule I apply anymore is that whatever it says on the door, the OPPOSITE is not just the effect, but the intended effect and implicit in the design.

Gentle readers should also understand re: blogger/survivors — there were years of being told NOT to talk (and still are) under our belt. So, part of blogging is just telling it. One woman’s simple attempt to summarize the problem (see “Australians Talk,” previous blog and links) spoke to me, so I slapped it up here, thinking it would suffice for a post.

No, darn it, I had to actually think about it. I thought about how insane/inane it is to sterilize these words, as we do, face it. If even God had to do quite a bit of show and tell (miracles, sending a Son, etc.) (was that a Freudian or Theological slip — mine is showing, I suppose), similarly, those who have actually survived this violence, trauma, and losing someone or something to it, should be setting policy AND vocabulary.

That’s enough for now.

Intimate, Partner, Violence.

Domestic, Violence.

No wonder we need mental health professionals throughout the fields attendant on these terms.

Can you wrap your mind around that one? (No wonder it’s a market niche around “family courts” etc…..)

the word “court” certainly applies, in the sense, court someone’s favor, or in the royalty application. The word family, again, has just about become meaningless when those promoting it as essential to the fabric of our nation (and to a degree, I Do agree, believe it or not).

I know women who went homeless fleeing abuse. They had homes and professions after the exit; the stability appeared to threaten the status quo, the basket was turned over and emptied out, and through the same mechanism that has put my stomach hungry some days, blogging where the internet is free, and unable to purchase a simple meal at the same time.

Alternately, these terms rolls off your thinking like water off a duck’s back, how many intimate, wonderful, partnering, dynamic, sensitive moments in life have along with the oil coating also rolled past your door? Some of the best parts of life (not just your body) are sensitive to others around you, and what national policies mean to immediate neighbors.

Let’s properly sort those terms:

“Intimate Partner Violence” and “Domestic Violence.”

Move the words around, and it makes much more sense:

Put “intimate partner” with “domestic” and you have something user-friendly.

Take the two “Violences” and keep them separate, and the antagonism is right there out in the open:

V2 (Violence X Violence). There’s no place for this in the home.

Again, just as a reminder, the definitions include a pattern of oppression. No, I don’t mean, being asked to wash the floors if you’re awoman. I mean being TOLD to wash the floors NOW, or else, and the “else” you already know, because it happened before, and hurt. Or destroyed. Or violated one of the rights listed in the Bill of Rights.

Written by Let's Get Honest

March 25, 2009 at 5:15 am

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged with custody, domestic violence, DV, family law, Intimate partner violence, IPV, obfuscation, social commentary, women's rights

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This Absolutely Uncommon Analysis shouldn't be!

What I do here: I expose the Systems Design, and the Designers, so Y.O.U. can Show Others, and to notify those playing certain games, "you've been flagged."

Heard of "disruptive technologies?" Disruptive innovations?
Well, this is a disruptive blog. I give people who've already been strung out and stripped down BY the system another place to stand and look at it, and a clear, fairly diagnostic language (vs. pretty logos and moving pictures) to describe it to others. AND, which many don't do, I tell how I found the information; links databases and all.

Despite the blog's appearance, I know what I'm doing! You're looking at long-term leverage, in the hands of the "non-experts," in the public interest, not public funded propaganda to drive business to private pockets. Hence, I'm not afraid to ask:

The formula wasn't complex, but the concept itself was just so devious insidious, parasitic, grandiose, and by now, so baked into the economic, institutional infrastructure, people either don't notice, or, in a common, cowardly, but all too human response they see, and just start denying, or looking for nicer explanations of an ugly truth -- where it's heading, and for lack of nicer, but still honest terms, it's heading towards yet more slavery (and tolerating it) and genocide (and tolerating it).

As a woman, mother, a family court and domestic violence survivor [yes, he was a hitter, and more], who has already 'faced the music' in more ways than I can count, to the best of my ability, I do not do "denial." I also ask the public, what's left of it, to just not go down that Denial Road, and with it lose more of their innate humanity, perception, and ethics. There is another way out, one with a conscience:

Really want system change? Make up your mind to understand government financing -- change yourself first. Find and read your local "CAFR" (government's Comprehensive Annual Financial Reports), a wonderful source of information, with flow chart, descriptions of component or blended government units it's reporting on, and reporting the balances in each fund -- ever heard of a "Balance Sheet"? Looking for this also reveals just how many governmental business entities ARE there? Find them. Read. Think about what you see. What does it mean?

As others have pointed out already-- governments tend to pool their investments, for example, "CALPERS" (essentially created ca. 1931) is the largest "public pension" investing platform around, or at least in the country. Getting started earlier sure helped, then adding players (subscribers) over time ALSO did. In 1985, add "CII" Council on Institutional Investors (members: in 31states and D.C.) (LA Times 1985 article on Calif. Politician (state treasurer, assembly speaker) Unruh whose idea it was for the Council so institutional funds could "flex their muscle"; and push for corporate governance reform. Cii members now control $3 trillion of assets). Point being, government holdings are invested, and when pooled like this, are major clout, and the average person never reads even a single government entity's annual financial reports. (I wasn't aware of them til 2012!)

Governments not only invest their funds in business, they also by legislation, patenting, and protections, set them up to win, or lose. So, "know thy government" is a great place to start. (See blog/see links in the blog).
This Dialogue continued below under "Really Want Systems Change?"]

Vital Info-Links (Menu)

Really Want Systems Change? [Contributions Welcome & Needed, Cont’d.]

This Absolutely Uncommon Analysis shouldn't be! . . .

As others have pointed out already-- governments tend to pool their investments, for example, "CALPERS" (essentially created ca. 1931) is the largest "public pension" investing platform around, or at least in the country. Getting started earlier sure helped, then adding players (subscribers) over time ALSO did. In 1985, add "CII" Council on Institutional Investors (members: in 31states and D.C.), (LA Times 1985 article on Calif. Politician (state treasurer, assembly speaker) Unruh whose idea it was for the Council so institutional funds could "flex their muscle"; and push for corporate governance reform. Cii members now control $3 trillion of assets). Point being, government holdings are invested, and when pooled like this, are major clout, and the average person never reads even a single government entity's annual financial reports. (I wasn't aware of them til 2012!)

Find the named funds; who set them up to start with? I found the DV funds in California, how they were split off in 1999 between the DA's office and the DV industry, and guess what? My Congressman and I are going to have a talk REAL soon about case-dumping of dangerous cases into the family law system, where the marriage/fatherhood/access visitation funding sector can have their way with the kids, and the nonabusive parents, and further expand (rather then reduce) welfare loads, for profits to the state. Your legislators votes on budget. Budgets appropriate. Get it?

By the way, every Congressperson, US and state, and I'm told major media gets copies of the relative CAFRs. They just don't really to have that conversation about BUDGET vs. ASSETS which leads to, now WHY are we being taxed, still?

It gets down to ownership of the income-producing assets.

Connect the dots between funds and funders, grants, and grantees. (Blog links show how). Do this for a while, and the lights will start to go on; illuminating another serious problem: the fundamental truth is, a Very Big Lie is Standard Operating Procedure throughout government, especially social services sector. Now what?

A real fork in the road... Now what? Is your Congressperson in on it?Now what?.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

And sorry I could not travel both

and be one traveler long I stood

and looked down one as far as I could....

[The Road Not Taken, Robert Frost, 1874-1963, from "The Poetry Foundation"]

Once STOPPED at this point, you cannot travel down both paths and be one traveler. It's either retain that humanity, sensitivity to truth, or lose it.

Either look down that less-traveled road, Or, do nothing much, and just sign over the decision-making process to others.

AFTER ALL, it's not as though cloud-based software, combined with social service programming through welfare and child support systems to continue dumbing down people and smartening up robots! (I kid you not -- see "Neurala, Inc. and Brains for Bots(tm)" And corporate connections between the two! (stay tuned for the post)....

Know how I found that? Looking at a tax return, looking up the Chief Operating Officer. AND his Board Relationships. Including this one (talk about putting together a team with international connections!!). The company is a federal contractor, too. Did my doing that take artificial intelligence, was it "rocket science?" (Not hardly!) This NONPROFIT is an HHS grantee and contractor founded in 1974, Ford Foundation capital + Federal agencies, and is the "evaluation and testing" arm of many Responsible Fatherhood projects ("Fragile Families" and the whole 9 yards), to justify the social policies that PRWORA (1996 Budget Act, "Welfare Reform") further enabled by dedicating millions, and enabling "Block Grants to the States" via "TANF." We are granting millionaire nonprofits more millions, WHY, again??? (while cutting funds for FOOD?). For more info, read my blog!

It's simpler than it sounds IF you look. Most, just won't. How about you?

["Stopping by Snowy Woods on a Snowy Evening." Observe from a distance, not in the thick of it, consider (I have). And there are miles to go before I sleep, too. If you have stopped and seen, remember to stop back on the way out, and feed the blogger. See "strung out and stripped down" phrase, above. Thanks!

Let’s Get Honest. There’s Still No Excuse. But…

[This text widget added Feb. 2014]. For over twenty years I have been dealing personally, first with domestic assault and battery, a.k.a. violence in the home, then by witnessing how ALL facets of the system collectively keep "Abuse Awareness" in the public's face and on-line, while locally, telling live clients in imminent danger, asking for help for the most part, go away and shut up. Or, when such people look for some agency with the words "domestic violence" or "prevent family abuse," or related sound-bytes on their websites, to show up (sometimes pay for) a class to develop relationship skills for handling one's: stalker, batterer, or the parent that threatened to, or just did, kidnap the kids. The same crowd (generic) also stay positioned for Technical Assistance and Training -- not real-time help. It's probably good they are often on the conference trail; if they stuck around home more, the word might get out locally exactly what "T&TA" means. My translation? "Need Help? Go Away! It's Not Our Job. We Just Train the Trainers. We Consult. Dial in for the Webinar."" (etc)

So, what can be done then, meaning, by "us," (we, the people, the public, the huddled masses, or working millions) other than suffering nobly and dying dramatically, dealing with ongoing trauma, or de-sensitizing ourselves to the level of violence and our own government institutions' collective decisions to make business models out of the human tendency to slap others around, bully, lie, steal, terrorize, kidnap and [do things that is normally for privileged civil servants -- for example, in the military, the courts, the social services, an law enforcement, etc. -- and the private security forces for certain multinational corporations]].

We cannot help ourselves by taking the duties of law enforcement into our hands, physically -- that's illegal an dangerous! However I believe there is a way the public CAN help, a way to put a stop to free-fall exploitation, without adding to the ongoing stream of bloodshed (that's no exaggeration) or multiplying marginalized populations (i.e., the poor, those on social services).

Individually first, and to each other, "the public" may still have some leverage in examining these TnTA "Go-Away! groups that are more interested in protecting their interests than our children (OR, us).

That leverage is in CHANGING how we interact with our own government and whether we continue to feed this system through taxes, fees-for-services, mis-understanding what it's "there" for at this point in time (2014). I'm talking about the cognitive dissonance that comes from taking agencies, nonprofits, and civil servants at face value, instead of, as any good shareholder or investor would, understand the importance of reading the reports of that which we've invested in.

The public can't read [enough of the] reports of private financing -- but we CAN of government, and we can of nonprofit sector. I only did because I demanded answers why I should be terrorized first, in my home, second in the community, and why, when law enforcement shoots to kill when they could've tasered, we should call upon them for protection from violence. When they won't enforce orders, then why are the orders issued to start with? Are our lives just some kind of game?

Paying better attention to the infrastructure, and fiscal operations (of governments and nonprofits that do business with them) explains the bread-and-circuses use of the internet as opposed to, developing some skills to understand a little infrastructure.

So, obviously, I have not gone away completely, or shut up, and as this blog shows, I have been taking notes on where the money is (as that seems to be the primary interest of the service-providers, not the people being served), and finding and reading tax returns, too.

The “Technical Assistance and Training” Excuse

My other Gravatar (identical photo, below) leads to a 1992! discussion of supervised visitation; this one to a Profile narrative and other key blogs on this subject.

Re:why "We can't HEAR you" in situations involving domestic violence (at the prosecution level) further enables "We're Training the Trainers to Raise Awareness about DV" at the nonprofit and DV industry level. Let's talk about who already knew that the VAWA grants faucet (1994ff) was matched, more than equally by a "Marriage/ Fatherhood" promotion faucet (both, federal and private combined), and have collaborated to split that pie, while keeping the public in the dark, which is how the public prefers to be kept about such matters...

However this California criminal defense attorney's explanation that:
"Domestic Battery" [Penal Code 243(e)1] is the least serious, Aggravated Battery [243(d)] is a Wobbler" (misdemeanor or felony). Yes, you can receive stitches, broken bones, or a concussion, and have it called misdemeanor ("say, what??"). Also, Corporal Injury on a Spouse, Cohabitant, or Fellow Parent [273.5] is per this attorney, a wobbler too. Sounds very wobbly, right? Also note:

What sort of penalties am I facing if I am convicted of PC 243(e)(1) Domestic Battery?
If you are convicted of 243(e)(1), you may face the following penalties: Up to 1 year in county jail;
Up to a $2,000 fine; Informal or “summary” probation for up to 3 years.

If probation is granted, which is typical, the court will require you to complete a minimum 1-year Batterer’s Program. The court may also require, in lieu of a $2,000 fine, You pay a maximum of $5,000 to a Battered Women’s Shelter, and/or You pay restitution to the accuser for reasonably incurred expenses as a result of this crime, including medical expenses."

Either way, someone is going into a program, although it sounds very wobbly, no matter how it happens. What most do -- when children are involved -- is attempt to get it promptly into the local conciliation court where it becomes a relationship problem ,and services can be ordered, keeping the local DA's hands clear for such things as, stumping for more funds (grants) for more One-Stop-Justice-shops [[=my 6/2010 blog on this]] (family justice centers [scroll down to see]. Actually the first was started by a City Attorney, son of an evangelistic father [search "Gwinn" here], and who grew up on a Christian conference camp center [page 2, here/or hover cursor]). Whether it's Southern or Northern California, it seems to me the religious sector is keeping the justice programs AND DA's offices "all in the family," in this case a Catholic one, leaving people fleeing religiously rationalized, enabled, and covered-up spousal abuse, in truth, nowhere to run. At every turn, we are told to go away and just work it out. So, when "things happen" these officials then explain to distraught parents [been there more than once] why crimes involving CHILDREN, and a mother and a father, just aren't crimes [translation:-why should we prosecute when there's a family court staffed by people who on the faith-based, family and marriage/fatherhood funding streams nearby? What's in it for us?. Go away -- we're busy strengthening the domestic violence field, and Connecting the Dots].

Hunting for, Gathering, and Reporting the Truth...

...is a public interest cause. If it rings true, and you want this NOT to get buried (again), pls. click and help. Suggested minimum $20. The stakes are always high when truth [in these matters especially] is at risk.
Truth also needs to be understood; that takes knowing the context, which also takes TIME.

It's taken a very long time, but I have also been. Connecting the Dots, that is. Question: If DV is not a crime or at least not really to be prosecuted, if possible, then what were all the DV professionals doing the whole time, and why?

Hmmm... They have been figuring out how to reclassify the crimes as a treatment opportunity (merging organizations), setting up their various nonprofits in mutual-interest, professional providers' alliances (connecting those dots, 2012).

Something tells me, despite the verbiage, the plan is NOT to stop, end, prevent, [or any other verb implying cessation, or prosecution] domestic violence, family violence, or child abuse, but simply to set up professions to handle the constant inflow of new customers, that is, the survivors at least. There's no longer even a pretense that this isn't a specialized professional field, although the pretense is kept up, from the laws still on the Penal Code that it's a crime, at least a "wobbler."

"Enhancing Leadership Programs for the Next Generation" The future of the movement to end DV [Futures Without Violence?] depends on our ability to successfully invest in young leaders. [from a nonprofit dedicated to training, "Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness, in Santa Clara County, [Charity #132625 Delinquent: Search here]

has a retired? Judge LaDoris Cordell on its advisory board. GOOD. See Dec. 2013 Mercury News article about a (truly heinous) hate crime, racial, perpetrated (by 4 Caucasian young men upon a African-American young man, their roommate) at San Jose State. A bicycle lock around his neck, and worse, was involved. A task force was appointed. This same Judge Cordell, as its head, in November wrote the newspaper, asking why this hate crime "wobbler" was charged as a misdemeanor, given that:

While each [District Attorney] had his or her own style and approach to leadership of the office, the reputation of that office has remained one of heavy handedness when it comes to filing charges. Commit a crime in Santa Clara County and there will be a very tough response from the district attorney's office.
~ ~ ~
So how is it that these four San Jose State students were charged, not with felonies, but with misdemeanors for conduct that, if proven to be true, was racist, assaultive, and ongoing? ~ ~ ~...A hate crime is a criminal act that causes physical injury, emotional suffering or property damage which is motivated by the victim's race, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, physical or mental disability. A felony is a serious criminal offense punishable by confinement in state prison; a misdemeanor is a less serious crime punishable by imprisonment in the county jail for not more than one year. ~ ~ ~What is the message that these misdemeanor charges send to the accused? Bully, intimidate, and racially torment your African American roommate and it's not really that serious. If the allegations are true, these sadly misguided young men, as well as other students who might be tempted to behave in this fashion, are in need of "felony" wake-up calls.

.
Precisely. All I want to point out is -- the list of "hate" crimes of the same nature, with the same consequences, IF the word "sex" referring to one's gender (male, or not-male//See U.S. Congress!) was included, would up-end the justice system and economy.

The FBI definition again verifies: Perpetrate a criminal offense against person or property to someone because of his or her: race, religion, disability, ethnic identity or sexual orientation, and it's a hate crime:

Investigating hate crime is the number one priority of our Civil Rights Program. Why? Not only because hate crime has a devastating impact on families and communities, but also because groups that preach hatred and intolerance plant the seeds of terrorism here in our country.

Defining a Hate Crime

A hate crime is a traditional offense like murder, arson, or vandalism with an added element of bias

What the Family Court system and its environs is telling us (all):

"But, do the same any or all of the above to a woman because she's a woman -- and it's business as usual. "

So -- IS there an excuse for domestic violence? In my opinion, no. In reality, in practice, and institutionalized -- yes, and no end of excuses; in fact nothing BUT excuses, plus a lot of talk about reaching out, preventing engaging (name your population) and sponsoring more media campaigns. Futures Without Violence is now 100% owner of a real estate "Inc" which owns property in the SF Praesidio and is dealing with figures in the $40million++, let's talk about being "tapped in" to primary sources ($7.5 million endowment from the Ford Foundation, for a global display center and conference room, apparently this is necessary to earn the public's respect for any public policy...). The victims they're ignoring, and their feedbacks (not just mine) can "go jump in the lake," apparently.

So I recommend focusing instead on ways to get those of us IN such situations, but still in the family court system (years later) OUT of that situation. As the system is designed (like abusers know) to prevent access to funds permitting exit, and/or hunt down people who flee, just now the best solution I can think of, as a survivor, is ways to persuade the public NOT that "mothers are people too" but that it's in their best interest to dismantle the system. After over 20 years of dealing with exactly this kind of hate and because I was first, a woman (in a marriage), and an educated woman; second, a single mother by choice NOT in the same marriage, I'm fed up with having everything BUT pervasive violence against women in the USA THROUGH THE FAMILY COURTS, not treated as what it is -- ongoing terrorism based on gender, beyond race and to a degree beyond socioeconomic profile.

In practice, currently, the words "domestic violence" means "Give me my next VAWA grant" and at this point, not much more. And yet women are still being killed, locally, and brutally. Men are also killing each other, and adding to this, there are the times law enforcement shoot to kill also. However, what about the child support agency's "compromise of arrears" programs, which women entering the courts are NOT told about going in, based on gender, reunification of families, and which also tell us: A debt to the mother of your children (if you're the father and have been in the custody system long enough) is not a real debt either? This is essentially dishonest. Before you CS-paying men get angry (or your new women), realize I have also a blog called "boycottchildsupport" and check it out, too. I'm serious about it, although I'm still owed thousands by the father of our children, and also need this for survival, although it's not coming. This country is not serious about actually stopping any kind of violence. It's serious about keeping the funding coming for systems of population control for when it gets REALLY violent. "IMHO."

Let’s Get Honest – There’s No Excuse!

(Sigh). I've blogging here for four years, loved the learning, but the material is pretty damn disturbing, and has made an activist [=/= feminist, though] out of me, a domestic violence survivor who has been fighting shell-shock, and developing navigational skills after having like many (women) got children and self OUT of a very violent (religious abuse) marriage, some distance but weekly visitation from the start. ... No sooner were we independent, than the blowback from first relatives, who I could resist, and family courts, who I could not, particularly having been dropped off clueless by the nonprofit DV group which, to their credit, at least initially saved four lives, the war became quickly economic. I was clueless to look OUTSIDE courtroom and its personnel to 1996 PROWRA-related Federal grants to the States to promote marriage, fatherhood, abstinence, and increased noncustodial parenting time ("access/visitation"), targeted AT the courtrooms.

This Blog is so Others are not clueless, distracted, and consequently defenseless. It removes the "clueless" excuse and, as has been done to the parents (both genders), provides tools to change-up the tired old conversation: Who's more victimized, Moms or Dad? Answer is, neither -- it's the public.

By 2009 when I ended up finally without ANY real contact with my own kids, and broke from years of fighting to protect, enforce child support, retain a functional work life and at a certain point, avert a threatened kidnapping and years beyond, "something ain't right, here." I dropped all the well-meaning advice from, as it turns out, several advocacy groups in my area -- checked out NAFCJ.net about the grants, fact-checked if the statements were reasonable (which, FYI took less than one week....) and took off blogging.

Re: Kidnapping: As it turned out, law enforcement enabled this and dumped the case back for another round in the courts.

When court forms now have check-marks for felony crimes, i.e., "child-stealing" is a mark on a mediation form! [I didn't need a check-mark to report the event, however said mediator was strangely uninterested anyhow...and chalked one up for the HHS/OCSE Access-Visitation (Fatherhood Promotion) crowd, custody switch, child support arrears compromise (immediately) worklife into a tailspin and mom in trauma, more business for the courts so they can conference about the Clear and Present Danger of overcrowding, and not enough resources for them, develop tactics to spin us even faster through the doors into services, and justify more funding. In this equation, EVERY Custody-Switch from non-abusing, working, primary caretaker mother = "Good." ]

So, we have a definition/jurisdiction issue. But some groups prefer the more (financially rewarding) batterers intervention and domestic violence recognition "Technical Assistance and Training" approach.... as if there were no courts such as these, or judicial-membership nonprofits driving business to and taking business from them.

I don't believe in obedience training for sociopaths (they're experts at inflicting it on others, it's a lifestyle) who have injured or threatened to kill others, but apparently it's big business and public policy.

So, currently I'm ready to dismantle!! (defund) this unjust system, and teach others how to, and why: understanding the why comes from a basic understanding the system and its parts.

If you'd like to help, PLEASE DO!

The people who understand the system most but often can't report properly because they are for years in survival mode, a major onslaught to normal income-producing activities. Alternately, children are pingponged around, making planning schedules impossible for the custodial parent, that is, inbetween court hearings. There is a two-track tier (has money, doesn't have money), but after 1996, BOTH tracks can avail themselves of federal funding towards programs designed to harass and/or extort the other parent (if the child support system hasn't already done it). Meanwhile, apparently the press continues to spin the mounting roadkill (people die around this) as "estranged" or "custody battle" when in fact, often threats to kill preceded it, but co-parenting was still ordered. For some, it is a true catch-22, and a very long one. I'm one of those "some."

Discovering whose (insane) idea this was, and developing some research skills on court-connected corps and their owners (often court employees, like JUDGES....) is empowering and at least alleviates the confusion factor -- although it doesn't get one's kids back, it is a solid, versus dead-end, route to collective resistance to this outrageous, tumultuous (the tumult is planned, engineered, and produces those very profits) public burden. When the scope is considered, I believe the eventual target population is not just single (mothers), but the public. Stay tuned, or, I have nearly 600 posts to date and resources, too.

Important material re: cults and the art of confusion (with links), Discussion Continued @ ....* ...More on Lets Get Honest, Proof of Cults in the Court and my Christmas Appeal for Help (Seriously!) (It's a new page on the blog -- see link...

[Integral to the situation, too long for a sidebar!]

New Here? Want Roadmap with some Chronology, Links to Supporting Info? {Here’s a Glossary of Issues & Orgs.}

Recent posts selecting some Media/Library Uploads and summarizing them. Note, throughout hover cursor over the link for excerpts. This table combines links, connecting narrative, and often a bit more visible if you hover (place, but do not press down to click through to the other website), your device's cursor over the links. These take time to insert, and are there because I feel the summary is important, and/or because face it, people update websites, and the information may be moved, or deleted.

Look and See/Show and Tell (Selected Media/Library Exhibits) (Plus some narrative of course). Nov. 11, 2013. Example: Center for Children & Youth Justice (Washington state). I have blogged (use search). MacArthur is focusing on the juvenile system, pushing diversion vs. incarceration. See here, note the Kids For Cash Luzerne County (PA) case prominent.

Media/Library Uploads - the Context. Also Nov. 11, 2013. See orange square titled "Archipelago Parts (of this system)" and other tables explaining when Bankrupt isn't (Scranton, PA), plus other, more experienced economists explaining how a Budget isn't Accumulated Assets and other Financial Lie-Detector Tools.

That's major relevancy payload delivery, if you're paying sustained attention. Principles are explained, of course it takes examples to understand them.

Rapid Expansion of AOC and CFCCs (Get the sense of the Flow) (Nov. 5, 2013). I set out 8 points (summary basics/hover) on the courts, some FAQs, and remind us to keep an eye on the various "Centers for Families and Children in the Courts," whether in Baltimore at a Law School.....or .... in San Francisco, under the Judicial Council's Administrative Office of the Courts (AOC) [I see California's CFCC is also listed in the John D and Catherine T MacArthur Foundation-supported "Models for Change" directory?? This tells us that that particular Judicial Council/AOC/CFCC office is considered a "Systems Change Model" wanted by, for example, certain philanthropies and other interests].

3 classic change models [=hover. Lewin Unfreeze,Change,Refreeze; McKinsey 7-step, Kotter 8-Step. Which one are AFCC et al. using to expand conciliation court influence?].. FYI, in war, and also in abusive relationships, change tactics are also used. It's good to know what they are and when in operation!

MacArthur-funded "Models for Change: See 8/15/2013 post "Private Wealth Acquisition/Disposition: Bankers Life (1879) MacArthur Foundation (pre-1978)". This is PRIVATELY controlled money dominating court programs. You'll see ("left-lurching") MacArthur Foundation, for example, pouring money into the civil-servant-membership nonprofits (but with connections to statewide influence, preferably) causes, so they can practice on an entire state at a time.. This is top-down system change, and that it's top-down is absolutely intentional.

Like I continue to say -- look more closely at the administrative sector. The right-wing does this too. Some of the wealth acquired IS acquired by keeping it under private, family control. Always an interesting study to see where it came from originally.

[Continued on Post "New Here?" 2/24/2014]. RECOMMENDED READ...
[this widget "outsourced" to a blog post, plus some]...

I'll bet this can be stopped. But not alone, and not without organization, and documentation! Any ideas how??

Cold,Hard.Fact$

To Support (and visually upgrade!) This “Uncommon Analysis”

Want to appreciate or support my four years of Consistent Writing; over 580 posts, and a website and posts [not to mention sidebar, and its "widgets"!!]] literally loaded with links?

Whether you want it parsed and outlined, or in documented rant form, it will be strategically different, scratch-your-head "Huh?!?" or deeply disturbing "What-the-????" and, in the long run, actionable (like, how can we stop funding the foolishness) information.

The average post is 5,000-10,000+ words (including quotations), results from ongoing, original connect-the-dots investigations and analysis, while referring readers to others who've done their own research under hard conditions, including court-created poverty, trauma, and even sometimes jail (see Richard Fine).

Basically, I saw a gap in informed coverage for not just women, but specifically mothers, and stepped in to fill and blog it and point to others' analysis who'd been inappropriately dropped by the roadside. The gap was the connection between federal policy, private nonprofit providers, and the local courthouse. I also felt that the gender wars (both sides) had been exploited by "carpet-bagging" interests as if these interests were neutral, when they were not. I also knew from experience that trauma AND confusion makes one easier to manipulate, while relevant information (and knowing how to get it) are antidotes. Another nonsectarian approach was definitely needed.

The blog should (complete with sarcasm) should help some laugh at the lunacy, then I hope "wake the hell up!" about what public money is being used for, and clearly identify the PUBLIC danger which the PRIVAT-ization of government [2001, see p. 16 on "Nonprofits") represents. In this, the family courts' consistently self-congratulating, "problem-solving" model is a significant, and well-heeled part. (see "The Mediation Miracle," as told by a judge; p. 16/2006). The same groups pushing for no-fault divorce (under "irreconciliable differences") also pushed for conciliation courts -- does that sound rational? Was there another motive? Or was it to cause confusion over what is, and is not, a crime, and in that confusion, expand and engage behavioral health services?

So, this blog provides an alternate framework for some of the toughest issues of our time; life and death issues, social issues, and economic issues that get to the heart of, what IS government, and where do I stand in relationship to it?

It is what I wish someone had provided for my children, their father, and me before I set a single foot in, or responded to a single pleading, in the family court venue. Had I known it, I would've fought harder to get the case dismissed upfront, just as anyone being kidnapped should fight (if they are caught unawares) hardest right at the start, for the best results.

Regarding donations -- any level of assistance will help, whether to upgrade the platform slightly (addressing formatting issues), add some functionality, or condensing the information as an aid to other forms of presenting it....or to help me to survive to blog again another day. If it's not yet understood HOW the family court system effectively (and I believe intentionally) functions to keep at least one out of every two parents in marginalized "economic survival mode" year after year, than it's simply not understood, and should be, as these people live in MOST communities today.

I wrote on behalf of and knowing from experience that the people who needed this information the most could afford it the least; they were in survival mode year after year and often facing the challenge of their lifetimes (retaining contact, or re-gaining contact with their own children). As was I.

Learning this material changed and empowered me, not in the case (it came too late for that), but as a human being. Some feedback has included (women, in particular) saying it prevented them from going crazy. Basic Truth has a way of doing that.

I feel responsible to get the information into a form to document of a system in rapid change...a slice of history from a "user" perspective on these systems ... and which won't be buried (as social media and the internet changes) as the original material from the 1990s was.

This groundwork has been done, and I can't continue the work for free. Your donations will help consolidate results into better visual format and they will also help me, the blogger to finalize this project, and still survive personally. Moreover, if they do NOT come in, then I will have a free assessment of its current perceived worth (other than what individuals have said, including THANK YOU!), at this time.

Teaching/PR Goals for Parents and Public Include: [Warning: This part will offend some people, but it's a Public Interest part]

Asking the FNAQs (Frequently Not Asked Questions), and noticing who didn't ask them, which is relevant
A straightfoward primer on how people can better research their own cases.

Eventually, and in the public's fiscal interest, starting a movement to eliminate some over-valued and absolutely over-billed professional niches (see blog for more details): -- Supervised Visitation Monitors -- federally supported nonprofits whose goal is to put yet more GALS with conflict of interest relationships who aren't protecting children anyhow into more children's lives (NACC-- see Child Custody Agenda) ; grants-grabbing fathers rights/DV advocates (collaborating apart from their future clients) Batterers Intervention Providers, court-connected cronies, and any and all under-monitored, specialized hybrid courts whose ultimate real (and unacknowledged) goal is to order more services, while delivering less of what the average person would recognize as "justice."

Others have already researched and shown that the funds are made up-front in the training for these professions, and sustained by federal grants from both HHS and DOJ sectors.

Providers have at times been caught in fraud. Supervised Visitation in particular has been used to punish the nonabusive parent (not the purpose under which it was sold to the public), while "Batterers Intervention Program" serves to diminish, when it has occurred, the concept of domestic violence (battering) as an actual crime, instead attempt to reform (treat) the perpetrator. Whether or not these trainings actually work, the conferences, collaborations, forming more statewide nonprofits, and funding continues -- funding that perhaps might be better given to the household of whoever was battered, which it could definitely help.

These professions were lobbied for, have nonprofit coalitions to promote and train others for (i.e., certification to enter the franchise),and at times are even run by people who also at times also control the public grants which support the services, all of which has been documented since at least 1999. I found some in 2013, California, recently (see "Comments" [by SystemicAnalysis] ). Yet they continue to operate.

Just imagine -- with ALL that money saved, and fewer loopholes for fraud and theft of public funds (which has been identified year after year), why not have public money used to upgrade and fact-check that HHS grants database, "TAGGS" so we know where at least HHS public funds are going. Or, why not promote rather than "responsible fatherhood" (a nebulous and subjective term with clear religious connotations, varying by the religion) -- something objectively useful to all Responsible Citizens -- like how to read a governmental "CAFR" [that was a link to State of Washington's 2012 CAFR] and find out what funds are for which purposes.. and a ...or a counterpoint to how broke the local courts, schools, parks, etc. are (or, are not), and an organized and coherent window into the balance sheets describing the business of government itself. (I also began to blog at "Cold,Hard.Fact$").

I also recommend making the nationwide child support system (a fairly recent innovation) obsolete [=another of my blogs] and instead returning yearly administrative billions (about $4 billion enforcement alone) to taxpayers. To quit diverting welfare funds into marriage promotion as a franchised profession!!! [[the average taxpayer has NO idea of its extent..]] and to in general, establish that women do not have to fight each other (or hate men) just because society has declared "single mother" a disability for the kids, and then (just in case it wasn't true), made it happen anyhow through federal policy.

Here's a 2003 Arizona Child Support Meeting (judges, Title IV-D directors) in which -- somehow -- Bill Coffin, then an HHS-employed Healthy Marriage promoter -- made a presentation about "Special Improvement" OCSE grants in 3 others states (PA, AL & OH).

[Editorial Opt-Out: Some material, full of links and details, moved to separate Text Box ("widget") below, see, "Help Support and Report," below. ...]

To acknowledge: This blog began by briefly fact-checking (and it was validated) the basic information found at Liz Richards' National Alliance for Family Court Justice, and the process of continuing to sort, compare, and investigate the grants, the courts, and as the title says, their "operations."

I took that research and reporting to a different level and form, adding grants research insight into various advocacy groups and more, from the corporate and nonprofit analysis angle. There are also "how-to" pages such as ("Looking Up a Nonprofit"). Above all, as people continue to experience extreme distress around this issue, I wish them to know "it's not all in your head" -- and there really is a substantial problem. BUT, not to just accept pre-fab or spoonfed solutions: Develop your own understanding and your own voices.

Any donations will more likely go into l consolidating and organizing this material. I do not want to duplicate the typical downloadable Technical Assistance and Training model. I just want to get the word out!

I am a mother, a veteran of the family court wars and years of domestic violence (religious) during marriage; and as a result of saying "No!" to further abuse after separation, have (like many) suffered loss upon loss while consciously becoming a resource on these issues, along with some courageous writers who follow the financial trail.

While I network, I also investigate and have developed an independent voice and viewpoint on these matters to counter the emotionalism, and/or "tell your story" drama, which does NOT help move a traumatized person into a psychologically stable position. It also doesn't help his or her custody case. I am not "PTSD-free" which will be evident in the blog. Who is, after years in the court after years of violence in the home?

But that doesn't invalidate the content -- which comes with links, quotes, and footprints for anyone else who wishes to look things up.

I am not a nonprofit; any donations accepted will help get information into better format (i.e., upgrade and organize the website), and help this particular blogger (me) survive. Former and even traditional professions are impossible with the ongoing open court cases (plural) and unresolved issues (to this date) with family members. Suggested amounts: $10-$25 if you are a parent struggling with the courts and can afford it, $25 or more if you are able.

I have several buttons (same link) here because I tend to "run my mouth" in attempt to cover all bases.

Any amount received with thanks -- a tiny % I believe is taken (from amount submitted) with the donate process.
Thank you in advance!

("Donate" button only added Jul. 2013).

PAGES (chrono, then alpha)

What’s with Women Judges forming Nonprofits to Run Fatherhood Programs? Is it about the Dads, or about Dodging imminent Embezzlement Scandals?

This is a tale of Building Peaceful Families ("BPF")(incorporated 1/3/2005), Healing and Hope (posted 7/28/2013, hover cursor for the content), Domestic Violence Intervention Coalition {"DVIC") Inc. 1/21/2005 [compare with "BPF" date] (this is actually a California Corporation (i.e., BUSINESS) set up as a fiscal agent (?) to handle the monies from the activities of the Council -- which appears to be an advisory agency under the Office of Women's Policy, i.e. part of government. ) the site is advertising: Engaging, Motivating and Inspiring Men: the next step in Domestic Violence Prevention (10/2011 [18th annual. Do the math] conference run by DVIC [that corp]. and selling DVIResources with keynote speakers Lundy Bancroft and Jerry Tello),; and a tale of Mr. Bancroft's alter ego organization (or is it?) Protective Mothers International (not incorporated yet? Apparently not in Florida anyhow; that's the search site) but still has co-founders, apparently). A search for the Activist Woman the 'Healing and Hope" post is protecting, shows "The National Organization for the Respect of Motherhood, Inc." was incorporated 12/18/2012 by a person under LegalZoom from Glendale, CA (Florida-California??) under Ms. Levinson and two others. However, that was quickly dissolved when they never (ever) filed an annual report... Nevertheless, let's protect the mothers internationally (and engage and inspire the fathers).

PMA Blog "About" states:

"Janice along with Lundy Bancroft co-founded Protective Mothers Alliance International in April of 2009. *** Since then PMA has acquired more than 50 state chapter leaders in 30 states and several countries world wide. They have started a PMA blog talk radio show dealing with the many issues that involve the continued abuse by fathers through the family court system. Featured guests on the blog talk radio show are professional advocates in the movement** with a special spot light on giving protective mothers a platform to tell their story.

[[;**I believe Mr. Bancroft, wherever he is these days, calls it the mothers' movements, when not schmoozing, fraternizing and inspiring those guys from the fathers' movement. Does Janice know? Does she approve?]]

[[Finally found it -- NOT anywhere on the PMA actual site (and I sure went looking, too) -- but in 2009 under Lundy's BLOG called "healing and hope." Look an early -- June, 16, 2009 -- post, "Introducing the Protective Mothers' Alliance."

Guess where checks can be (or at least then were) made out to, to support the brand-new PMA? CPPA!

More information about the Protective Mothers Alliance is available at my website, LundyBancroft.com, including our mission statement and principles, with an explanation of how you can start a group in your area and how to reach us. PMA is open to protective mothers and their allies. We have specific projects for children who were harmed by the actions of family courts when they were growing up, called "Hear Us Now," and for men who want to be active for justice for protective mothers, called "Fathers and Step-Fathers for Protective Parenting".

Mothers themselves will be the key leading force in bringing about safety for women and children post-separation##, and in changing the way family courts handle child custody disputes involving abusers. PMA looks forward to your support. Contributions can be made out to "California Protective Parents Association" (our fiscal sponsor) with "Protective Mothers Alliance" written on the memo line, and sent to CPPA, P.O. Box 15284, Sacramento, CA 95815-0284.

###except when the audience is men, in which case, it's men who are going to be the leading force, apparently....

OK, let's get this straight: PMA is a donor-directed "fund" of CPPA (which has no money -- see below, or look yourself). However, to learn MORE about PMA, go to lundybancroft.com (which I have just done, site ends notably *.COM, "Prevention, Response and Healing for Domestic Abuse [not "violence"?] and Child Maltreatment [not abuse?]" and see he has been running healing retreats for women, "The Life That Awaits You: Healing after an Abusive Relationship," led by (yours truly, LB) Retreat fee, incl. meals and lodging: " $385- $460, sliding scale. Maximum size 22 people."
Resources for the "Male Allies" includes the multi-million-dollar SF nonprofit "Family Violence Prevention Fund" obviously this website hasn't been updated much since 2010, when they got a new name.

[To my shame, I didn't find the CPPA connection until Nov. 2013, I was distracted by the "Florida" location of Ms. Janice...not that this wasn't possibly intentional. The phone contact (941-822-5592) listed is from Sarasota, FL it seems. Here's another "tell your story disaster story site providing that #... It WAS, sounds like, a disaster story...It's from a California chapter of PMA about a Michigan custody case. Hover cursor or click to read the PMA salespitches (plural) at the bottom of the report.

ANYHOW, funny what such sites will NOT talk about, but now more of us ARE -- find this type of material on any solicitation to contact PMA!

I'm just wondering how it's possible to have so many chapters, donations available for a Florida-Telephone# (but not registered as itself to do business in Florida) to PMA, which is actually advertising for a *.com for Mr. Bancroft. How many other "not really incorporated" alliances, and how much of the donations and fees for PMA are run through CPPA, if any, then? Or is CPPA simply the networking connection for these sales connections?]

Here's CPPA Corporate registration in California in the Sacramento (State capital) area...

C2178228 10/06/1999 ACTIVE CALIFORNIA PROTECTIVE PARENTS ASSOCIATION KAREN ANDERSON

Charity# 114556 (Calif) EIN# 943341470. This organization is hardly funded -- it's not shown over $25K (revenues) except years 2002, 2003, 2004 (for which NO RRFs are showing as there should be). No tax returns for those more prosperous years either, only for 2009, 2010, none for 2011. The RRF for year 2010-2011 is signed by Connie Valentine, Fiscal Officer.
The only tax return showing with SOME information (about what they do, although this organization is well-known, and well-loved, to many noncustodial and/or battered mothers), statement 3 (Program service accomplishments):

"EDUCATION - COSPONSORED ANNUAL CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE AWARENESS CONFERENCE. TOPICS INCLUDED "FALSE MEMORY SYNDROME" AND "PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME" THE ASSOCIATION ALSO CO-SPONSORED "A DAY WITH CALIFORNIA LEGISLATORS" AND A SERIES OF
TRAININGS ON CONDUCTING CHILD CUSTODY EVALUATIONS."

NOT MENTIONED ON THEIR TAX RETURNS (though known to many mothers) -- that CPPA is along with DVLEAP and "National Court Watch" a co-sponsor (at least now, 2013) of "Battered Mother's Custody Conference" (existed 2003-2013, and exceptionally notable for suppressing overall information about -- what I and some others blog and write on, and had to because CPPA and their many friends wouldn't listen to!!! CPPA leadership often on the podium at BMCC, it seems....

One major attraction CPPA is to many trainers and advocacy groups appears to be the collection and assembly of email lists of distressed parents (particularly mothers) and then sending out of multiple alerts telling them what to do, and who to blurt the story to, which rally to attend, etc. etc.

Back to what the "PMA" blogsite tells us, not including who's their fiscal agent, or at least was originally!

Janice and Lundy have started a PMA bi-monthly news letter which is another vehicle for education and exposure about family court corruption. Janice continues to move forward full force in shining the light on the truth about the many problems that children and protective mothers face in family court."

Sure. Except about the things I've been blogging on since 2009, which I know Janice also knows about (I've told her, and a number of the ~~converts / recruits/ recruiters,Chapter Leaders~~ excuse me, members of this "tight team for change." That includes sending charts of TAGGS, etc., too. See 10/19/2010 post , " "My High Conflict with Promoting National Alliances" -- apparently the Squabbling had already begun then" (hover cursor for comments), and on there a link and comments about (and on) the TimesUp! post "Protective Mothers' Movement Needs Unity" (Barry Goldstein 10/2010). Then, he wrote: "A few short years ago, the protective mothers' movement consisted only of many protective mothers victimized by a broken custody court system and a few professionals willing to risk their careers or at least their earning capacity to help them. This was the state of our movement when Mo Hannah started the Battered Mothers Custody Conference."

WHOSE movement???
...It is easy to feel discouraged when we continue to hear the kinds of tragic miscarriages of justice ... safe, protective mothers are denied any meaningful relationship with their children based on the outdated and discredited practices routinely used by custody courts and biased professionals..." [yes, with Mr. Goldstein it's always, they need better practices (see our new book, here?) and it's never the access/visitation grants or anything to do with federal incentives, and all that...."The NCADV created a child custody track at its recent national conference, provided a plenary session devoted to child custody issues and have done everything we have asked" [yep. I'll bet they didn't ask to stop those grants, either!!] ". . . .after 27 years of working against domestic violence, I believe I may have a unique experience and perspective that could be helpful in avoiding divisions that can only help abuser groups."

(my comment there was deleted, so I put one back in...)

Well, given this new information, I"m going to hazard a guess that actually PMA is more likely, as well as and along with CPPA, a vehicle for the distribution of private, court-related information from women with OPEN custody cases, and a way to potentially, given the cross-associations, get that information into the hands of the opposing side. POTENTIALLY, is all I'm saying. Could be way off there. Or right-on. Who's to say?

So, speaking of the above, and adding to all this peacefulness and let's get along, healing, hopeful, nice stuff -- let's add to the mix a bit of "to the contrary" material from:

one former battered mother who lost contact with her daughter through this system with, God bless her, a won't-stop loudmouth (Claudine Dombrowski) and social media skills, and responds to her own excommunication (within two days, looks like) in Reply to Lundy Bancroft. Change is Here. Lead, Follow, or Get out of the Way. Human Rights. Which, FYI inspired the lookup that found this stuff and inspired the post. We all have our different styles, but Mr. Bancroft, unbattered and not a mother, lecturing Claudine Dombrowski, badly battered, and lost custody of her daughter, on her TONE? No can do. I went to respond, look up, and found Santa Clara activities, above... But last summer, Claudine wrote: (excerpts)

. . .
Lundy Bancroft was like the only source for moms like me. the criminal injustices to myself and my daughter it made no sense, Bancroft gave validation, why does he do that, the batterer as parent, it was all we had. we (the mothers) terrified, ordered by the courts via the abuser and the new found court whores to remain silent, to take the beatings to take blame for everything and even things that did not happen. maddening

"I lost my child. Who helped me? No one. Did Bancroft help? no. Did NOW help? no Did DV orgs help? no.
Who did help?? MOTHERS. Mothers like myself, living in fear, jumping through impossible hoops to just Hold our chil;d again to just hold safely our only mission, our children."

"Lundy is a psych. and we all now are beginning to learn the damages done by the psych industry.

Lundy as a psych elected to be paid by the county to TREAT batterers, E.G. Batterers Intervention, alternative to Battering, we all know that -- Non remedy but ‘feel good guaranteed creation of roles and groups that do not need to exist.

[Interjection: 9/2010 commentary from his blog on the ideal batterers' intervention group, for society to show they are serious about stopping abuse -- would be two to three years, 2-3 times a week. [hover cursor]. I think this reveals about where it's coming from -- run more classes and therapy, behavioral change, trainings, etc. -- right?]]

(Claudine writes: )Ok so back to Lundy and his job of teaching batterer intervention groups. He began to notice a pattern, with the abusers, the hatred, the use of the mothers children, hence, Lundys books.
at that time amazing!!.....There is no legal venue or resources through Lundy or PMA, any time a mother asks for his expert assistance or resources for legal the mothers are quickly shut out ignored. there is nothing there but a fee to join a demand for court records [??]], for his personal use in writing more books, plays doing more speaking, his expert and leadership makes him the typical god. because I say so. still has he or PMA helped any mother?
no. . .. .Four years ago. [=2009].. Janice began to threaten moms, demanded that any association with any other group or entity was not allowed . . .In all these years Lundy stays quiet. quietly profiting off his work of the sufferings of battered mothers and her children. Never does he take a stand with anything that would HELP legally politically,

Then the one time he does, he choose to do the unthinkable-- public damnation of a battered mother. You did not hurt me Lundy, you hurt so many mothers who feel like you beat them the worst.
you were behind the scenes told by countless mothers the issues with Janice -- you ignored them. "

So that's when I went looking, found these other corps, and attempted to tell CD (I don't hang in the same circles).

And another, (ditto) me ("Let's Get Honest" will do for now)-- who continues to say, "STEP ONE is to find, and read, the tax returns, and watch the money fly away-- or shift quickly from one to another when one's about to be "outed."

This pattern of filing, or forgetting to file, and comparing one with another -- is not only interesting, I do believe it's a character indicator.

So, this little mini-history, with is characters, corps, and county-connections, also tells us (all) what the domestic violence intervention movement is doing, as opposed to what it's preaching, these days -- and by "these days," I do mean, now. Overall, "We are not amused," it's hardly a laughing matter -- but this one does have an entertainment factor to it. It's a "whodathunkit?!" situation, and an indicator of how gullible the public truly is.

IDEA: Legislatively Require ALL current sitting judges AND retired judges to post RIGHT ON THE *.gov website -- ANY AND ALL nonprofits they have formed, along with the EIN#s. You'd be shocked.. Also, enough of them lie (fail to disclose) that there has to be some way to look such things up, too!

(continued on 11/1/2013 post. Or check it out yourself).

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Where to File This Level of In(s)anity? (How Not to Use the Internet) January 2, 2013
Taxes for a “Negative Return on Investment,” at least for Taxpayers…. (of HUD and Hope) December 20, 2012
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I am still in shock (but far more activist shock than years ago) over What Happened in the 1980s, 1990s across the country -- to restructure WELFARE justifying this on the basis of BUDGET (which I now understand to be a partial-truth used to clobber Americans with and cause them to quake in fear about becoming what, well, many have already become -- destitute, begging, distressed, and besides that, like me, they have become disgusted with what they thought were some rights, some courts, some justice, some laws in place to protect them, and some due process in those courts. Only to find out the "family" was the patient, and public-funded therapies for private pockets was the plan, and almost any local institution (court, social service agency, nonprofit DV agency, family court facilitator's office, child support agency, law enforcement outpost (police station, etc. to either exchange, or get some help to retrieve children after a weekly court-ordered exchange), and now we have family justice centers, too.

Common sense and understanding that ANY point in time (like between 1999 and 2001), look at several systems to understand which way the profits are flowing, how, and to whom= why, will go a long way.

. [NYPort Authority, World Trade Towers, steel core (to address the "pancake" factor if it fell, through a "Collapse into Footprint" design; asbestos lawsuits/liability, gale-force winds, $7 billion of double-indemnity insurance, 3000 dead]...

Meanwhile, there's "Clinton Bodycount" (no, I'm not referring to men, women and children who have been murdered, nationwide, around custody, divorce and child support issues, since domestic violence became a relationship problem and not a crime (and divorces went "no-fault" and irreconcilable differences went into Conciliation Courts -- or, if people don't submit, "high-conflict dockets. No, these are specific to the Clintons, whether in Arkansas, or DC, or those evidently in the way or a potential popularity liability.).

the site "Clinton Body Count" at least organizes them, into: Most Recent, Most Famous, Dead: Fundraisers, Witnesses, Women,, Investigators, Commerce Dept., and then some people who were accidentally too close, or stumbled upon things near Mena, Arkansas [Ives/Henry], or knew about it [Coney, McKaskle, Collins], or knew about THAT [Rhodes, Winters, Kettleson], or, et cetera. And several more, including attorneys, investigative reporters, and so forth. Re: investigative reporters that suddenly committed suicide, (Casolaro), RedDirtReport (2012, AGriffin) details on: Jackson Stephens, BCCI, drug money [AFDA, the Octopus, etc. Read the first paragraph].

My point isn't to scare, but to be aware. As a survivor of some horrendous enough events, and horrendous handling of just two young people, my only children from only one father, while married -- I do know that the danger and the denial are both dangerous.

So, we ought to understand gov't accounting BASICS in historic context, and simply be aware that drug money and money laundering does affect basic institutions. Don't lose hope -- but also don't lose sight of the urgency of the times, or the bedrock truths of what this means to any grandchildren and beyond.

[[[Bodycounts as collateral, not primary, damages to increased profits are not new, and they are "bipartisan." Keep eyes on THAT prize, as uncomfortable as the reality is.]]]

However, after 9/11 and Homeland, welfare reform's programs kept expanding, faith-based offices opening, and the HHS revolving doors were spinning. DOJ no different, and everyone (but those who have to stand by while they are being helped and demonstrated upon) seems to have their hands in the pie.

We forgot to factor in multiple systems converging to control the federal faucet, privatize its showers, and to restore "balance" in the status quo: Fathers, Faith-based, Families and of course it's all about the Children. (Sure yo' right....)

In 2014 (my 20th+year since first reporting to family, ob/gyn doctor, clients, employers, neighbors (although they surely knew from the noise and occasional police cars showing up at the home), and of course faith-based groups, that I, Mom, was getting battered, and getting more and more concerned about survival, without means to just walk out, with kids -- and have somewhere other than homeless or in a shelter to land), and having realized now for about 5 years the role that welfare reform played in this -- I just discovered the "Bruce Reed Welfare Reform Series" -- lists, and links to scanned documents of BOXES (alpha by topic) of Wm. J. Clinton Presidential Library's material on these critical years: 1993-1994.

The Welfare Reform Series includes material pertaining to legislative strategy, analysis of state plans, child support, speeches, rollout of the Working Group's proposal, and various drafts of welfare reform bills authored by the Working Group, Congress, and public/private organizations. President Clinton established an interagency group, the White House Working Group on Welfare Reform, Family Support, and Independence (1993-1994), in order to carry out his campaign promise “to end welfare as we know it.” The Working Group was co-chaired by Bruce Reed."

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